I'm so scared of people. I've thought my Drs didn't like me. I've thought my therapist didn't like me. I've had a few. Lately the only time my mind is at ease is when I'm deeply asleep. Unless I'm having nightmares or sleep paralysis. I am not an addict or anything but I can't drink because when I do I drink too much and I can't be prescribed certain things because if I'm in a rough place I will be tempted to get a bit "high". My family doesn't really know the extent of my experimentation as a teenager. I'm so worried I'm going to abuse something someday and get in trouble. It's not a problem right now because I am aware and trying so hard to stay that way.

When I was a teenager I'd go through periods of drinking for a few days. I'm just going through what feels like worse feelings than when I was a teenager. The last time I drank I wet the bed a lot. It was really embarrassing. It's because I drank too much and smoked 3 joints. The time before I wet the bed because I drank a half bottle of wine and 7 shots. I was so out of it that I did it 3 times. Woke up doing it too.

I get really depressed sometimes. I'll just stay in bed. I pretend I'm not. It's to a point nobody knows that I even experience it. They just know about anxiety and hallucinations. Im struggling lately. I just think about taking the edge off mostly. I smoke a lot of weed and vape a lot. I used to take codeine every night for weeks at a time. I've been through withdrawals a few times. They hurt a lot. I mixed codeine with something once and thought I was going to go into a coma or something. There were times I had to tell myself to breathe. I thought I was going to stop.

I just can't deal with certain feelings very well. I get sad, my first reaction is to want weed, a few drinks or nicotine. Alcohol helps with paranoid thoughts too. But I'm not allowed to drink cause of meds and my tendency to overdo it. I think I need to try to quit bad habits. Only drink coffee. I just don't think I have a serious problem though. I do think it's good to deal healthily though. I just don't know how to tell someone I am not doing well without lashing out. That seems to push people away and that's what I'm afraid of yet sometimes I think I don't deserve people around me.

Im adding a trigger warning just in case. So growing up I was someone who got hit oftenly. I would say that yeah every two or three days a week I get hit since I was small, basically for the slightest mistake, like not performing well at school. Every time my mom or dad hit me they would make sure that they blast music out loud in the house so that no one hears my screams and lock me inside a room. And I remembered the time when my dad asked me to undress before starting the hitting session. And when they were hitting me I was not allowed to cry, if I do cry the hitting would grow wilder and continue for a long time. This stopped when I was about 13 years old and I had actually forgotten about all of these memories since recently, and they keep hitting me like a truck(kinda like I day dream about those memories). My parents always had a thick wooden stick kinda thing with then all the time and my dad would use his belt, the side with the buckle obviously. And it's quite disturbing when these keep playing in my mind cuz I loved my parents so bad since I had forgotten all these memories, but now that i remember them I don't feel the same. When I confront them they always say that they wanted to make me a good child. Would people consider this child abuse?

So, he is my cousin, and he has been acting really weird lately. About a week ago, he came over and asked me to take him home (I have a car). Even though I didn’t want to, he kept asking the same question over and over until I agreed. We live in a small village, so walking home isn’t a big deal.

We got in the car, and the first weird thing was that he lit up a cigarette and seemed really stressed, which I just ignored. I wanted to take my usual route, but he insisted we take another road—one that was more isolated. I went along with it, but once we got to the deserted street, he took off his seatbelt. At that moment, I sped through the area as quickly as possible (the village is small, so it took about 30 seconds). Once we reached a more populated area, he started making strange hand gestures—there’s no other way to describe them.

Then, he suddenly changed his mind and told me to take him to his friend’s house. I just did what he asked, but barely two minutes after getting out, he was back in the car. This time, he asked if I wanted to drive to another, even more isolated village. That’s when I thought, Screw this, and firmly said no.

As we kept driving, he suggested again that we go to another remote village, but I refused. My family is just ignoring all of this like it’s no big deal. They don’t seem to care at all.

Could this be some kind of mental illness? Or does he really want to…?

(Yes, this was fixed by a chatgpt cuz my english is really bad)

I do not want to be. Yet I just did something bad. I threw away my medication because I forgot to take it for a few days. I missed 4 doses and I'm worried. My family thinks I need an injection for one of them because I keep forgetting. Also they threaten to have me involuntarily committed because I'm not taking care of myself and I have outbursts at home. I think I'm doing ok now. I'm just afraid of not being at home because I mess something up. Honestly I am struggling to take care of myself. I require written instructions for the shower. But I have been putting deodorant on. I feel so scared that my family doesn't like me. I keep having nightmares about them. I took my meds today though. I think I'm doing ok but I'm still worried. They're worried because I've had hallucinations when not on them. Yet I'm aware. I also think not all my experiences are from hallucinations. My DR never lets me explain though. Neither does my family. I'm scared.

Not looking for diagnoses but suggestions of where to start looking. I’ve already reached out to my family physician and we’re very slowly working through more physical health concerns although he is well aware of the mental health concerns as well.

There just isn’t enough time to focus on everything at the same time. I was hoping for some sort of online test to take to help narrow down my symptoms so I can suggest testing with my doctor to move toward a diagnoses professionally.

My biggest issue right now is I get EXTREMELY overwhelmed with simple life things. I can’t maintain input with friendships, work, family, marriage, personal health, food…etc I’m doing a lot of introspection to get to the bottom of why these things are hard for me.

Typically in friendship I’ll disappear for months before someone hears from me and there’s a lot of anxiety around doing things for me - in order to get through it I have to plan for the worst to give me some sort of peace in order to move forward.

Has anything worked for you and how did you narrow down what to test for with your doctor?

Thank you!

I’m 18, she’s 16 she’s a trans girl and came out in the middle of us dating, so when we met I knew her as a different gender but anyway.

I was in drama class. I was getting along with a lot of them. We made a discord server. I started talking to one of the girls. She was interested in me, I wasn't interested back. I wasn't planning on being in a relationship. She begged to date me, she was disrespectful to me and pushy. I called her out for it, she was shook and apologized and was like "I'm a monster omg no". I forgave her. I caught feelings because I looked past that and we went back to more pleasant conversations. We talked for maybe 1/2-2 months. We got together.

It would have to be an online/long distance relationship because we couldn’t hang out much because of me graduating early in December, neither of us having a car, and the distance.

We’d love each other. We’d be good to each other, I swear we would’ve made it if we tried harder. I have some sort of personality disorder, something that acts like bipolar, chronic depression, adhd, and severe anxiety. What can I do? How do I live with all that? I thought even though I have struggles I could be with someone. I'm a lot to handle. I'd always say "do you really love me?/im not that great/other stuff idk" and turn down compliments. I had too much self hate and suizide idealization. We'd fight because of me breaking down, and me not stabilizing myself. I still don't know how to. She’d do the same, but not the way I was.

I'm very depressed that I couldn't and still can't get it under control. It was her first relationship. She didn't deserve that. She left me once. we tried it again. She left me that time too. She would always say she’d always be there, that she’d never leave, but I’m too much. I feel really bad. I ruined it.

She also left because she wanted “more than that.” Something more involved, not online and distant the way we were. I offered us help by us calling more but she gave up on us. I wasn’t worth it anymore. I’d say I’m mad but I’m so angry at myself. Ofc I’m mad she didn’t keep her promise of holding out for me, but I’d leave too. I’d have clarity of “oh no I need to be better than this” and then I’d slip away into “nothing matters, I don’t even wanna live.” And it’d stress her out.

You say “I’ll give you my life, / “We’ll walk hand-in-hand on way to the Pure Land” / You claim you care not for progeny, prosperity, nor scorn of the world / Where are your noble promises now?

I believed you, more than the infidel believes the Antichrist / Yet you show your true character at the darkest hour / By God, you will always be unworthy / Unworthy of knowing the Word of Truth.

Where have your heart gone, O hypocrite? / Where you make a covenant, you are treacherous / Where you make a promise, you break it / Tell, then, what virtue sets you above an infidel?

I hate myself so much, I hate being so mentally ill, I hate being disabled. being constantly invalided and unable to properly defend myself and give a logical reason for why I am unable to do certain things.

My anxiety is so bad that I struggle stepping outside of my house. A single phone call or message spirals me into almost a panic attack. There are days that I struggle greatly getting out of bed anxiety causing muscle tension and feeling of weight on my chest, then the nauseating feeling when it does get too much. Like I don’t even need a reason to be anxious and their it is.

I struggle with communication due to another disorder and I have a hard time expressing myself and there are times that speaking feels difficult, and I get really self conscious about it. Like I don’t know what I did wrong, just wanna get a job and idk be like everyone else, I hate getting intrusive thoughts urging me to do bad stuff, I hate being so depressed. The mood swings, from everything is bad and chaotic to oh well it's all good now, and its so distressing not understanding myself and my own needs.

Its feels so much, I just want to continue to lie down and not do anything, the world feels so scary and overwhelming. I feel so alone. I feel so problematic and too much, I don’t even know how even begin to describe everything I feel like its a miracle I kept myself from doing any repeated attempts although I struggle with destructive behaviors ranging from damaging property and being violent with others although over the years slowly moving to specifically more self harming because I felt so awful and guilty with myself like I dont want to be a bad person.

I can go on and on about everything. but i'm so tired and wish it all can just end

I was exposed to pornography when I was a little child, and I've been addicted to it ever since. No matter how much I try, I can't stop. I even let myself get groomed many times. I am gross, and people like me don't deserve life, and I should die before I end up all alone

 Sometimes I feel like my life is has no purpose. Ever since I was little, my parents would always argue. Because of that I became a very troubled child. I would act so bad that I got put in a behavioral disorder class. In this type of class it's a self contained room, meaning I could not interact with other kids like others would. This would lead to mean not understanding social cues or how to talk to others. I still acted out in there leading me to not learn while in there. My isolation as a child at home/school brought me to where I am now.

Currently my life Is still shit. I have no interests or hobbies at all. When I go to school i just act extremely nonchalant. Since I don't know how to have a personality, I have a hard time knowing who I am to others. In all honesty I feel like my life is a dream. There's no way this shit is real. Right? I mean it's so horrendous, that there's no way a life like this is possible.

14f I’m worried im a pedo or a minor attracting person or whatever they call it. Sometimes I think about dying. But I don’t want to. I want to finish 8th grade and go to high school. I really want to go to high school. Does anyone have any advice? And I’d never hurt anyone. I’d really die before I ever did that

I'm afraid to talk to people, and I feel overwhelmed by stress and anxiety when I venture outside. I'm constantly worried that everyone is judging me

Due to my social anxiety, I've stopped interacting with people I know, and it's been a year since I last had a conversation with anyone. Over the past three years, I've only spoken to two people, and I eventually cut ties with them as well because I found myself feeling anxious around them too.

Even simple interactions have become a struggle for me. The lack of social interaction has led to a severe phone addiction, with my daily usage exceeding 10 hours.

As a result of this addiction, I've lost interest in my studies and am currently not doing anything productive. Instead, I find myself mindlessly scrolling through the internet to distract myself.

I feel like I've become disconnected from the world and have lost my intellectual curiosity, making me feel dumb.

I've never been to a psychologist, and really don't feel that they would offer me any benefit because a) I think I'm aware of my issues; b) I don't know if I'd listen to what they say; c) I'd feel embarrassed talking about this stuff. However, I'm just not feeling any better after a bit of a shock to the system two weeks ago. I'm pondering talking to somebody even if just once. A few questions for anybody who would like to answer.

*Do any good text-based therapy options exist (not video chat or in person)?

*If you're going to a psychologist, I don't think medications are involved, but regardless, can you announce that you would never be open to medications as a ground rule, right off the bat?

*Can a regular psychologist talk to you about any issues, whether it's depression or OCD or whatever?

Thanks!

14f and my therapist recommended a psychiatric evaluation. I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts and the other day I told her about them during my therapy session. Yesterday I emailed her letting her know that the intrusive thoughts were stressing me out and she sent me a worksheet. She got back to me and told me that she thinks I need a psychiatric evaluation and is getting in touch with my mom. I’m dealing with POCD intrusive thoughts. How do I tell my mom when my therapist calls her?

Wondering if anyone else knows anyone or feels atleast somewhat like this. (fyi i know this isn't a place to dump).
I tried talking to my mom about how i know or feel like im crazy i don't know anymore i can't decide but anyways i tried to and she was talking about some bs like how i'm a "starseed" or how im "awakening" amd i asked to go to the doctor and get evaluated and she was like "dont tell them anything" and "just tell them that you have nightmares and cant sleep" and at this point i don't want to talk to her about my mental because it'll lead to some bs.
I dont know how to like correctly describe my experience but i feel in-between crazy, during school hours i cant help but have a tick like tapping constantly or moving because i hear things say if i "don't stop or if i dont do this or that" then something bad will happen and i keep having mental states where im happy one second and then i think or see something that slightly irritates me and it drives me crazy because 9 times out of 10 i can't fix it. I know im not the only one that thinks there are other people who think like me but i can't find them yet and i cant take that as an answer. I have people in my head all questioning to do something like to get up and go to the bathroom or a stray bullet would come out of nowhere would hit me and it would be over.
I can't feel emotions besides anger and happiness. I havent cried in near 2 years when it hits march. Its always random too. last thing is i feel the same if i get no sleep or if i take the sleep meds that my mom got me and pass out for 9 hours.
I don't know if this is just some thing caused by me drinking a lot for the first time but yeah.
Sorry if this makes no sense i have no idea what to think anymore.

Will a therapist report me for this?

I (25M) have looked at and masturbated to shota (pornographic drawings of underage characters). The ages of the characters were usually around 15 to 16 but i have done it to picture where they could be 10. I didn't masturbate to it most of the time and i stopped last year when I saw a drawing of a baby and it disgusted me so much that I have completely stopped with it. About 3 days ago I started getting severe shame, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts about it and have been sick since then. Like I have been physically shaking, weak and have been forcing myself to eat and drink. I have also been having suicidal thoughts since then.

I do have anxiety and OCD which is usually okay because I'm on medication. I also am pretty sure that my mom's ex boyfriends daughter molested me when I was around 4 or 5 and she was like sixteen. I don't remember much of it though or if it was even real.

I also want to say that I am not a pedophile. I have no attractive to real children in any way shape or form. I also want to point out that I have only looked at and searched for shota which is completely animated and nobody was harmed in the making of it.

I really want to tell my mom all of this but am terrified that it would ruin our relationship for ever. Should I?

I am desperate for any help I can get please.

So after having a very awful year filled with emotional roller-coaster and right now feeling like I've hit my rock-bottom, I(26F) started feeling like this isn't how an average person is and there gotta be some explanation to why I'm this way. I did all the self reflection and research I thought there's to do, and have came to find out there's a high probability that I've BPD. I have 8 of the 9 core symptoms. None of them are mild, to the point i couldn't even pick my worst symptom. I guess I could say anger outbursts aren't my thing, I'm more of the self destructive type. I do feel uncontrollable anger at times but it's usually directed at myself, even though it was caused by an external trigger. For example, I've pages of a journal just calling myself awful things and degrading myself to nothing. I starve myself as a punishment, I've done this for so long that I'm currently at a very unhealthy weight. I get sick and pass out a lot.

I really didn't want to have made this discovery about myself, because now I honestly feel worse than I ever did ?? I'm from a society where any type of mental illness is stigmatized. So if anyone in my life even finds this post I'd be very ashamed. I also feel un-whole. You know, now i know that there is ACTUALLY something wrong with me and it's not just a feeling. I'll never feel enough again. I cried all throughout making this discovery about myself plus while making this post, because tbh I do not want this. I can't get help, like ever. no one would even understand... this is gonna be something that won't ever go away and I'd have to fight it alone.

Idk, just wanted to get it off my chest, I woud never get a professional diagnosis and won't even have someone to talk to about this in my life, because as I've said.. this simply isn't a thing where I live.

I started taking a medication 3 weeks ago. I have taken it in the past and was experiencing a return of psychotic symptoms (mixed episode) so I restarted. The voice I was hearing faded, thoughts became clearer, less intrusive. Now I suddenly (3 weeks in) feel my thoughts a bit intrusive, a bit hard to control again. Unsure why this would happen when things are generally a lot better? And whether anyone has experienced getting better then quite quickly worse despite a seemingly positive treatment change that initially was helpful.

for the past few weeks my mental state has been really weird. i think i might be bipolar keep in mind. i have adhd, depression and some other stuff too. but anyways these past feel weeks i've felt better and then worse. i've had some bad body dysmorphia but i've also felt really pretty. i have insomnia and it's been really bad lately, i haven't been able to sleep. but today some really weird thing happened. i was in english class and i randomly had a burst of energy and i had a few songs stuck in my head, my mind was racing and i was overstimulated but also really excited. i started having intrusive thoughts which is normal for me. i felt like i was shaking but i wasn't and i also was talking and laughing at a faster pace. my hands felt weak and i felt like i couldn't really walk properly either. i have math class right after english and it took me the whole hour to finish one paper because i couldn't focus at all. i might've had a manic episode or something but i really don't know.

My brother 22m has mental issues in which he does not act his age and due to my parents he never learned or understand consequences and thinks saying sorry fixes it to only do the action again. He has a job but it seems that Even though in the beginning he was doing fine it seems that he is regressing and rushing doing things and as a result makes a mess. I fear that he will lose this job but as his older brother I tried my best to reason with him time and time again but it's a never ending loop. It hurts but idk what to do.

So , I am 30F, is in a relationship with a guy, and we are so much in love and want to get married! But my family is not agreeing because of castism, even they don't want to listen anything, they just have their own mentality what they don't want to change, on the other side whenever I open instagram or talk with any friend, someone is getting married or going to a vacation with husband or doing good in their life, I feel like my life got stuck. Another side, my boyfriend doesn't want to get married without my family involvement ( reason is quite complicated and valid too) also he wants to settle soon because he is getting pressure as well.somewhere my family got stucked too,I am a dentist want to open my own clinic but without getting settled I can't invest. I am getting depressed day by day. I really want to die! Please someone help

If you're constantly feeling on edge, anxious, suffering from insomnia, racing heart and/or palpitations then seriously get your magnesium levels checked and even just consider taking some anyway (magnesium glycinate in particular).

It's responsible for a lot of these symptoms and it's one of the most common deficiencies. Even if it's not the cause of these symptoms it acts as a relaxant anyway which is good and it's cheap not to give it a try at least.

Good luck!

Okay okay, yall can hate me just by the title, but hear me out, I’m not the “I’m gonna kms if you leave me🥹🥹” typa person, I’m the aggressive typa mental which means idc how long ago it was I will still plan yo downfall. So I just wanted to say that before I start telling yall this story.

Mkay so I met this older guy in school, I am a freshman and he’s like a senior I think. It doesn’t really matter so… anyways we became friends, and to be honest I’ve had my eye out on him since September, so I planned out some stuff and he was my crush all along.

So one day I talked to him wtv and asked to be friends and we were for like a month, he was like my bsf, I told him everything about me. Like he knows all the embarrassing stuff I did which I think he’s nice enough to just stfu but well, god knows what’s going thru his stupid ahh.

And so basically we stopped being friends because he said I just complain too much and well okay idc. but istg I have to see him everyday and his existence just drives me crazy, like genuinely his existence triggers me, like whenever I see him I just automatically get mad, I usually find myself staring at him or daydreaming.

But anyways, it has escalated lately, like whenever i get like really really really tired, I start thinking / planning about actually ending him or ending myself so that he feels bad. And it’s the day after im like “what in the hell was I planning yesterday and why did I think so casually about it.” and like yeah.

I feel like if I don’t get help soon enough, I’ll just do something stupid.🥲 I need some advice. And please don’t comment on my grammar saying “leave that boy alone and go study English😂” cause it’s none of yo business.

TW: suicide and sh (also some other stuff) hi, imma just get right to it i am a 16 year old, i have been to a mental hospital once because of attempted suicide, i have been sh since i was 14, the thing is tho...since the whole mental health struggling started which was in 2020 i think, i've occasionally heard voices, but when the mental health got really bad i even saw a black shadow who was saying my name and occasionally even talking to me, for some unknown reason they never tested me for anything connected to that EVEN THO i've told a psychiatrist about it, also told the doctors in the hospital... well anyways i have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since 2022(i think) and have been taking antidepressants also since than. in the summer they put me off antidepressants and i have been off since then, it has all been ok ig, with occasional "bad" days but i have been feeling VERY bad lately and started sh again and i just feel like im fading away again, and with all that the voices came back again, they don't have a schedule or a place, like sometimes i hear them in school or even at home. it just makes me feel even worse and more crazy. idk what to do now? i don't wanna tell my parents anything cuz ik they will only be stressed out and worried. well this is kinda a rant but if anyone has any good advice or literally ANYTHING pls do!! <3

A little background, for the past 6 months, my boyfriend has had an increase in paranoia, delusions and irrational behavior such as a spending spree, driving to DC in a rental and leaving it behind, ubering to and from DC, Philly, and a PA facility for mental health. He believes our apartment has hidden cameras, he believes he’s being watched, and recently he admitted he heard voices in his head. Crisis has been called on him twice, and the second time was because of everything that was just mentioned.

When crisis was called, he went into the ER crisis department, where they may have sedated him due to an outburst, where they transferred him to a behavioral facility. He stayed there for a week before go to a residential facility in MA and is currently there now. He has been there for 2 weeks, he’s on medication (he refuses to say what kind), and he says his diagnosis is that he’s normal. His conversations are generally with myself and his dad, and they started off good, where he admitted he needed help, he knew he needed medications, and appreciated the support. Recently, his anger has been off the charts, he wants to emphasize he’s single and that we aren’t together (we live together), he wants to know why we (myself, his dad and brother) all keep calling crisis on him when he’s “normal”, he doesn’t believe he went on a spending spree regardless of him acknowledging it prior, and is asking for a thc vape.

I did some research for thc and antipsychotics and it is not recommended for him to use recreational drugs or drink alcohol. He mentioned how other patients at his facility have them and now I’m concerned he’s vaping other patients vapes with thc while going through this process.

I am not familiar with schizophrenia, but I do think he might have some bipolar mixed in, and I’m not familiar with the medications, the phases to recovery, if this anger period is normal and/or will subside. The call I received last night with all his anger hurt me to a new extent considering I’ve taken off work countless days until crisis was called, paid for his car, got his rental and returned it when he left it on DC, took over all the bills, and am currently paying for his health insurance so he can continue this recovery process, even started his disability paperwork so he could receive some type of money so he’s not coming out broke.

I have mad countless points to say I have no problem going to his facility to say what events led up to us calling crisis, however, he is refusing that because he believes everything myself, his dad or brother have to say, is a lie, again, regardless if I have proof.

I watched the man I fell in love with, a man who wanted to buy a house together, get married and have kids together, turn into someone who seems to hate me and think I’m an enemy.

Any advice on what I can do, advice on what to expect, even supporting words would be really helpful.

If you need any additional clarification, please let me know, I really appreciate any feedback.

I'm not being able to get out of bed, I need to get a job and move on with life but I don't want to try to get better anymore, I want to give up, I tried suicide a few times and it didn't work, now I don't know what to do, my family is telling me I need to keep looking for jobs and do exercise and stuff but I'm honestly just thinking of leaving the house and living in the street till I just starve to death, I'm so tired of life, I'm 30y and I have had severe depression and other mental illness since I was a kid, I don't want to go on anymore, I don't know what to do. I also thought of being in a clinic for a while but some patients advised me against it, that these clinics are mostly for psychotic people, and I really don't want to go to a clinic, I don't want to be a burden on my family but I'm being useless at home and they're asking me to do stuff I'm just not able to anymore, I'm tired of trying, I wish I could just kill myself but I'm not sure how or if I have the courage to try even more painful stuff.

My sibling has bipolar and is currently going through depression. It’s affected their work and relationships as they’ve just tuned out. What are some practical ways that I can support them at this time ?

Hey guys so i have gernelized anziety disorder and depressinon. The doctor put me on effexor xr to start with, wasnt enough. Added klonopin 1mg twice a day and things seemed ok for a while. Manageable at least. Well i was having sexual side effects from the effexor, not being able to climax easily if at all some times. So i asked to be swapped to Welbutrin. The welbutrin is working great for depression and i no longer have any sexual side effects but now my anxiety is through the roof and the klonopin isn't helping at all it seems. Also i cant sleep well anymore. no problem going to sleep but wake up almost every morning around 2am mind racing not able to go back to sleep then i go to work at 4am and get home around 530 every day. Also i am a single father with custody of my 2 kids ages 12 and 13. And its not just the swap from effexor to welbutrin, i have had alot of added stress lately at the same time as this. With all the extra anxiety and lack of sleep i feel like im losing it or falling apart. I dont want another ssri and dont feel like i should choose between a healthy sex life and my anxiety. What should i ask my doctor about? do you think xanax would be a better choice or ativan will help better than the klonopin? What mg and also should i ask for Ambien or something of the sort to help me sleep? any suggestions?

I’ve been going to psychiatrist for years and taking medications. But, this bipolar disorder and being moody all the time is getting overwhelming and those medications actually don’t help a lot. I’m tired of these ups and downs. There are some periods when I’m so hype and energetic I socialize a lot and love being around. On the other hand there are some days when I just stay at home for weeks and HATE all my friends and just wanna literally remove them all from my life. This is getting out of control and my life is a mess because I can’t choose one thing/person to be happy with and keep them in my life.

She said she was god, and a bunch of other out there stuff. Acted truly off and I caught her texting a guy on Instagram right before I realized she had to go to the hospital.

I’ve read that what she did was not her and she wasn’t in control of her actions.

It was just texting but was sexual. She was very far gone I believe when she did this.

I feel ashamed of the hurt I feel over this. It’s not about me it’s about my wife and her recovery. I’m so sorry I feel this way but it’s incredibly difficult to understand. I forgive her, but if I am doing that then why do I feel this way?

She is my world. I do not want us to be done. Not even with her mental health involved.

Please help me understand.