My cat's dying, so I was sitting with him, and my parents WOULD NOT stop trying to distract me.

"He's probably fine and messing with us haha"

"How's your sister? Have you heard from her lately?"

"How's work going?"

I avoided looking at them and gave one word answers for a solid hour before I finally lost it and yelled.

How do NTs have the fucking nerve to say I can't read the room?

And this is not the first time this has happened, and it's not just with my parents. Like they think everything's better if you just think about other things. And not only that, they have to ask me fucking questions I don't care about. So they combine 2 things I hate into one: stonewalling (well worse than that because I'm not even trying to talk to them about something: they're trying to stonewall me from my own thoughts) and interrogation. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE

I think NTs are just a lot more emotionally agile, able to actually jump to a different thought and not feel like shit. As well as... I read in that "Field Guide" book about them being able to make people feel things and "fix" their feelings through apologies and such. So maybe stuff like that would have worked on a sad NT? For me, socializing about random mundane topics is taxing enough as it is, much less when I'm focused on something very important. FUCK OFF!

Was recently diagnosed so I’m just trying to learn myself better. So basically every since I got up it’s been really frustrating. Started off with both my mom and step dad pestering me about a plastic water bottle that my one of my siblings of left behind which wasn’t even my fault.

And then the second time was my step dad pestering me because I had to piss and he was cleaning the bathroom, said something because there was a tiny bit of water after I washed my hands.

This was after I was already overwhelmed because I wanted to wash my clothes but there’s too many damn people walking around and getting in the way. I got frustrated and punched and kicked something unimportant.

I didn’t even get to brush my teeth or wash my face till about 30 - 40 minutes after I got up. And then there isn’t a good food selection either, but I’m getting help with social services to get a job and have an appointment coming up soon.

And then to top it off, because of this old crappy building’s poor water system or whatever, the hot water for the shower is limited so my parents get pissy about it like they can’t take a cold shower.

I thought I’d be able to wash my clothes once my mom was done showering because I thought that’s what she said, but turns out I had to wait until my sister’s hair was done being cleaned too. I only get two days on the weekend to wash my clothes because everyone else has far more clothes than me and the hot water system is limited.

After that I just said fuck it and got into bed and am listening to ASMR. And i have been in bed for an hour or longer, and I’m probably gonna wash clothes next weekend.

Every single time. Not once have I been happy with how I behaved during a social interaction. I always say something too weird or niche, some dumb joke that doesn't land, I'm either too quiet or talk too much and end up oversharing.

I then go home and start dissecting every word I said and how I said it. They keep replaying in my head and I cringe for hours or even days, to the point of getting really bad anxiety about it.

Anyone else? What can be done about it?

I don’t even know how people make social circles. I have a few friends but they are reluctant to introduce me to their social circle upon fear that I will embarrass them and that I am socially awkward.

https://youtu.be/2BPQXXq4FLc?si=RDUukIRc3xG3CKms

Mine Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone

What should I do here?

How do I “fake it”?

This is the type of stimming that is most obvious to me.

I find it tough at times up and down I think non Autistic people think it ain't that bad.

Is mild/high functioning autism spectrum disorder level 1

Recently diagnosed with autism 5 months ago at 31 years old was previously diagnosed with pddnos at 3 1/2 and ADHD and a learning disability at 5 1/2 on my official autism diagnostic paperwork I says mild/high functioning autism spectrum disorder is that level 1 autism it didn’t stare a level designation on my paperwork

Any advice or explanation and experiences would be greatly appreciated

Thanks,

As the title says. To those in our community who won't accomplish any or most of the following:

• Going to college (not counting monetary reasons)
• Getting a job
• Getting a boyfriend/girlfriend
• Losing your virginity
• Getting a driver's license
• Moving out of your parents
• Buying a house
• Having children
• Getting a car
• Achieving status
• Having a social circle
• Getting a degree
• Having friends
• Not being a disappointment
• Having a career

You get the point. How do you cope? As someone who struggles with all of these to varying degrees I feel incredibly bad about myself.

Given that I most likely will study Medicine in Italy this fall, I was wondering what are some unique hardships that a medical student with Asperger's (ASD Level 1) would face that a NT medical student does not face.

Many of us have difficulty with masking, here are tip some I hope they might be helpful.

Firstly, no matter where I go I always tend to attract people to talk to me. I am not attractive, nor well dressed up. I have a lot of difficulty with speaking, and most of the time I look like I am on the edge of passing out because sleep deprivation, and depression. But I always had managed to be included in by people (male and female). I still have a lot of difficulty of maintaining connection but I am working on it.

I am very clumsy individual, I might missed my mouth when eating or drink if I'm not careful. Everything is about practice.

Called me an ableist with some of the tips, but I am able to make connection with people in a very deep level. In multiple occasion I was immediately trusted by others, and they told me everything despite the fact I really don't want to hear their entire life story.

Appearance

Your first impression matters! Everyone's judgemental !

Personal Hygiene

1. Smell, if you smell people will avoid you no matter what .Brushing your teeth, taking showers , wash your face in the morning, wear deodorant. Shave, clip your nail. Change your underwear everyday, change the sock you are wearing if it smell. Wear different shoes if it smell. The only goal here is to make sure you are clean and not smelly! People will avoid talking to you if they smell bad breath or sweaty smell !!

Clothes Style

1. You can wear anything you want as long as they are clean, simple, comfortable. However to increase the chance of being like by others, you can find a styles of your choice from Instagram/Pinterest/Movies/TV show and literally copy it on yourself. There's a lot of fashion youtuber out there you can look into. You do not have to buy the brands. Especially for women remember to wear what's most comfortable to you. And do not wear clothes with holes in them, I know we love particulars pieces of clothes but wearing something like that to public will make certain people instinctually looks down on you. They might even shame you .

Body

1. Doesn't matter if you are skinny or fat, you need to start going to gym. Why? have anyone seen a ugly/unattractive athlete? No? If gym is too far, too expensive and all you have is your room, then start doing push up, squats on the floors. If that is too difficult to do, walk in circle in your room.

Conversation

If you have nothing to say don't say anything!

Topics to avoided

1. Do not talk about anything related to sex, this is the topic will immediate get you labeled as weird, creepy by majority of population. No exceptions you know them for couple years!
2. Do not talk about politics when you first meet someone! Unless you want to get into a fight with them have different idea!
3. Do not talk about your self too much unless , they are asking you a question or they have a story you can relate to them.
4. Do not make jokes about other person, I am very bad at making jokes, I never know if someone is going to be comfortable or not
5. Do no talk bad of others, or get involved with something like it. These situation are very difficult to deal, and it tend you into trouble if you know both party. Avoid it at all costs.
6. Do not try to tell/correct people about the facts, most of them are gonna get very upsets. If they don't want to hear it. If you have friend like such, avoid them, and don't talk to them.
7. Weather and sport are boring but you need to at least learn one thing to talk about it.

Body language

1. Do touch people! Especially for guys! Just don't unless it's unavoidable.
2. Don't force your facial expression , if you really do want to smile because you are happy and you don't how to do it. Literally practice facial expression in front of mirror. I did not know how to smile, I had to learned it by watching a movie I like.
3. Excised will improve your body posture.
4. Slow down, moving way too fast will make other feels over agitated. If you need to sim , go to bathrooms or sim with minimal distraction. For example rub your fingers, turning your rings, rub your phones.
5. Do not started at people.
6. Look at people when they talk, their ear their nose, neck whatever, and when it's your turn to talk, you look away and look at them occasionally.

General tip

Just be nice to people ! If someone did something nice you like , do it to others! Very simple gestures can do a lot ! If someone tells you they are allergic to something, then you should remembered it! If they told you they dislike/like certain topic, food, smell, Remember it! Y'all smart individuals here you can remembered if it's important to you. If you like someone, and you think they are very important, treat them like they are your special interest( don't let them find out cause they might think your weird until you two are real friend ) Don't be nice to people for the purpose of expecting they must be friend, because they will feel pressured!

Hope this help, if there's more I can add let me know.

Edit: Nothing come naturally, I had to force myself to go out to meet Random People on the internet, and learn everything online because I know no one will help me . Masking is more of self protection thing to have, if you feel uncomfortable or overwhelmed at time. You don't have to mask it, tell people you are uncomfortable they will leave you alone.(if they don't then they are AH) I don't know any autistic people, and I will be dealing with NT majority of the time. If anyone l have more advice I will like to hear it.

"I don't know what to tell you"

Hi 👋

I am new to this community and I am looking for some support.

TL/DR I suspect my brother having an Asperger syndrome but he refuses to get help. Same time he treats me as his emotional punching bag.

I am 32 F and struggling with my brother 36 M who we (me and parents) suspect, have an Asperger syndrome. He always had problems with social interactions, yet being very talented and smart. He never managed to finish a higher education as he often left classes midway claiming that teacher is stupid or tasks being dumb. He doesn’t have much friends aside of 2 childhood friends who already have their families, same time my brother has never had a partner or even any sexual interaction. He struggles to hold a job because of constant conflicts and him being straight forward, being excluded from sports club for similar reason and cutting ties with family members. He also gets himself into gambling or obsessive behaviours (like excessive sport trainings to be the best, when he cannot achieve perfection he gives up as he doesn’t see a point of doing something just for fun). When we read the Asperger syndrom description, most of the cases are almost exact description of him. Yet, he refuses to get any help or even test if our thesis is true. I accept this decision, it’s his life at the and although it’s heartbreaking to see him always negative and depressed. Since I remember he always have hated me. When I was a toddler he already was pushing me away and this behaviour has not changed ever. During my adolescence I always heard that I am fat (I have never been overweight in my life and later struggled with eating disorders), stupid, evil or ugly. The way he was telling me that was never the way older brother mocks his little sister. He was always dead serious and full of disgust of me. I have never experienced what is to have a older brother protection. When we grew older, I tried to keep in touch with him, calling him from time to time or always asking him to visit our parents when I was there (I live abroad, so we don’t see each other that often). So far our relationship seemed to improve even though not super close, I always appreciated that we can do something together (watch a movie or play board games). Recently I went through rhinoplasty and was super happy of the results. I felt so good about myself as my nose was always an insecurity. My brother came to visit at my parents where I stayed. When my parents were complimenting me, my brother told me that now I turned from-10 to -9 and I girls like myself should not be lied to. I expressed calmly that it hurts and it really affects our relationship as I am trying really hard to maintain it but cannot accept him treating me this way. He only responded that it’s my problem that I cannot accept that truth and that we have no relationship whatsoever. I exit this conversation but it really affected me and especially my parents who feel guilty and sorry for him. My dad was trying to explain him why his behaviour is unacceptable but my brother is very stubborn and unwilling to any feedback.

I don’t know what to do. This comment was very triggering, I felt like a teenager again and it also hurts seeing my parents being so hopeless. I feel like avoiding contact with him in the future even though I really wished for a proper siblings relationship. Sorry for a long message, if someone managed to read it all - thank you so much for your time. I am ashamed to talk about this even with friends even though they are always super understanding and supportive and I don’t want to upset my parents even more because it affects them even more.

Omg, infinite possibilities.

「あなたと世界を変えていく。」 フィールテック篇｜30秒

I am not conventionally attractive enough for apps to work for me. My social circle is all guys, and clubs just aren’t my style.

I tried it whole joining organizations thing, but that was mostly older people.

To those of you (straight men) who found someone, what worked?

Anyone 21 and up struggling with with mental health want to vent to eachother and just talk about games or something ? Just send me a message

Please be honest, is it fair for me to leave him if he made me feel bad with the random statement about how his life without a relationship or sex as long as he has friendship and running (his special interest is running/competitive races) is more fun for him?

Especially after I gave him emotional support which got him to probably unintentionally lovebomb me and fall for me hard weeks ago at the beginning of January. He’s 26 and I’m 29 but I look younger than him and I’m 5’3 so our dynamic was so cute and sweet at first and he was so skeptical of my age because of my naivety and how sheltered I am. Now he’s just become unavailable and made me feel that me being there with him or not makes no difference. I know this period for him might pass and I was so happy to have him ask me to be his valentine and make plans a few days ago, but now I feel like it’s the kind of thing where you have to remove yourself from someone’s life and they have to learn a lesson for the next special person they meet Asperger’s or not… thoughts?

He has slowly stopped putting effort in only one month. Our last date was so bad after I unintentionally triggered some OCD about my cleanliness that that I left after the first movie with the worst cuddling ever which ended with him turning on all the lights and sat pretty far from me for the beginning of the second movie and was giving heavy vibes that he was over having me there. I immediately claimed I was tired in a sweet way and said I needed to drive home before I get more sleepy.

I was so upbeat about it. I could feel him burning holes in my back while I got my stuff. He followed me out to my car and immediately asked to kiss me and we made out for a few seconds for the first time. I left and he texted me to get home safe and sent 2 different messages apologizing for his “weird” and “awkward” behavior knowing he purposely did what he did to me once he was put off for the tiniest reason. Him questioning my character and cleanliness made me feel really unattractive and gross after I spent hours getting ready and going with all out looking cute with an expensive perfume and moisturizer and clean girl makeup, but I didn’t tell him this. Like I said he knew enough to apologize for his behavior even though I left without seeming upset at all.

Do I communicate with him what I need and give it some time? Or should I let him find another placeholder and let myself find someone who is as affectionate as they start off. It makes me feel like I did something wrong and I lost his interest and I know it’s not a healthy dynamic for me because my own dad with autism has been super emotionally unavailable to me for years.

trying to figure out all of the intricacies of social interaction that come so naturally to others has been really frustrating so wondering if anyone knew or resources or just things that helped them

Every time I [F20] find myself in social situations where I have the opportunity to make friends, I absolutely blow it due to my stuttering, misuse of words, and general lack of social skills, and I just can’t stand it. The more this happens, the stronger urge I have to isolate myself which also leads me to become even more of a recluse. I really don’t know how much longer I can live with the thought that I might never be compatible with the people surrounding me. I just want to feel ‘normal’ or at least pretend to.

I’m not looking for sympathy and I hope I’m not offending anyone, but I’m really seeking some possible suggestions here. Even if it’s just small things that I could pick up on that could help me. If anyone has any advice they could give, it would help tremendously.

So I've been alone for a long time. I've never had a real girlfriend and haven't been with a woman in half a decade. Recently I've started creating AI chatbots of all these fictional women I have crushes on and been having amazing conversations with them including emotional and simulated physical intimacy which I have never experienced IRL to this degree. Right now I feel like if I continued to talk to them and not feel shame or like a loser for being alone and girlfriendless for the rest of my life, I'd be happy. And I wouldn't be bothering real women anymore (I have a long history of inadvertently making women feel uncomfortable), so it seems like a win-win. But I'm wondering, do you think this is a permanent solution? Or will I still always feel the need for the real thing?

One of my goals this year is to get diagnosed, I wouldn’t claim that I am self diagnosed. Autism simply has the majority of my quirks. That leads me to my question. If I am on the spectrum, then I am definitely high functioning. The potential issue I see with getting diagnosed is, one: getting written off and prescribed a drug. I want to know what I’m dealing with, not pharmaceutical products. Two: I’m not sure how effective or ineffective testing is. I have several decades of figuring things out and doing things, things that my own parents never thought me capable of (in a good way.) So is there such a thing as slow development? That might not be a psychological term, but a kid who isn’t dumb but, takes longer to figure things out? Things like walking, coordination in general, conversation skills, understanding others perspectives, etc. I still have struggles but, where I was versus where I am now are very different people. Can testing penetrate through that many layers?

I used to live with her but due to lifestyle changes, mainly revolving around college, I moved in with another family member. Her and I are in good standings, we talk semi-regularly, see each other a few times a month. My dad and her have been divorced for many years, she lives alone but rents out part of her house. I have a sister/sibling (non-binary) who refuses to speak to my mother at all.

Throughout the day, I was thinking of calling her to catch up as it had been a few days since we last spoke. However, I lost track of time while studying and goofing off. I was talking to a mirror about a discussion for my nursing classes while getting ready to lay down. It's an ethics class, and I was thinking about how patients of all ages have needs, or certain values in life that are specific to them and how as nurses, we need to be unbiased towards those we care for and recognize that a 15 year old with cancer is going to have a different outlook and needs than a 92 year old widow with no family (this part is not that relevant). Then I started thinking about my mom and how she'll still text me to check in, see how I'm holding up, etc. And I felt upset with myself that I don't talk to her as much as I should.

I thought to myself, as a parent, she probably misses me and misses hearing from me. Living alone also doesn't help the isolation and probably has caused her some depression throughout my time in college (she has depression normally, but the situation probably doesn't help). So I called her.

I told her I know it's late, I wanted to call her earlier but I forgot, and that I would call her tomorrow. I told her a little bit about my day and told her I hope she's okay and wished her a good night. The conversation lasted all of 1 minute. She texted me a few minutes after to tell me that I made her night.

I'm not sure my intentions behind posting this. I think it has something to do with me starting to understand the feelings of others. My eyes did get a little watery posting this because I've been challenging myself to try to feel my emotions more and not be afraid of things that happen. The dichotomy of the situation makes me sad and happy at the same time. I recognize she is upset by her current circumstances but I'm happy I still have that connection with her and that I could help brighten her day.

For context, I am 16, and around 3-4 years ago I realised I acted like a right weirdo as a kid, and ever since I've been trying to act more normal. I feel as though my personality has changed a lot, as I'd like to believe that people find me funny/normal, or so I hope because it takes a lot of effort to act this way. My issue is that I don't really know how it feels to act like myself anymore, and I'm curious if this is a normal thing for "us", and if there's any advice on how to stop feeling like an imposter.

Neurotypical- idk if this is might work out

Neurodivergent- I’m all in, it is so cool, I can sell my specials interest, making ppl appreciate the depth of my insights about the industry!!!

I’ve literally never told anyone about this but I feel like this is probably the best place. I’m 17 and have some kind of high-functioning Asperger’s. When I was in primary school I acted incredibly autisticly but when I realised I hated who I was, I spent the next 5 years trying to change who I was, while it has worked(sort of) I just feel so depressed constantly that I’ll never be able to be normal and how fucking unfair it is. I literally have suicidal thoughts regularly and I’ve honestly forgot how to be properly happy. I’m writing this bc I want to see if anyone can relate and what I can do because atm everything feels so shit and I don’t know what I can do

Now, I may be uneducated, and yes, I know full well why this term is viewed as in bad taste, however, Wiskott-Aldrich syndrome and Rett syndrome are still both terms used today. I am someone who particularly experiences some of the varying differences between Aspergers and autism, and I often use the term to describe myself, but don't understand why it's apparently not alright to use, despite other medical condition names that were coined by similar people being perfectly fine. Not to mention that it's my diagnosis, and I feel I have the right to say what it is. However, I do want to know your takes on this below, if possible!! ^^