This past few weeks been really hard for me. I was involved in OLA's and lost track on my finances. I didn't used the money for gambling but to start a small business. But not really went well. I stopped it and had overdues because my funds is not enough now. Now I had to deal with threats and harassment everyday which really affect my mental health. I'm thinking so bad and full of guilt because instead of helping my family I became a burden to them. At night I was at peace because no calls and messages and I was afraid if the morning comes because again I will face another messages and calls. I'm also scared of public humiliation the threats of those agents. I'm really trembling and hard to breathe sometimes. I'm catching my own breathe and wanted to hurt myself. I don't know how I can handle this situation. But I still don't lose hope. Please be kind. I'm working 18 hrs daily to save and pay them . Pray for me that those agents have patience and be professional on dealing with me. I want some advice or tips on how I can deal with my breathing and trembling. I'm literally shaking everytime.

I just joined to post this now... I'm not sure to whom or where I should even be going with it, to be honest. I don't want to call one of the crisis lines in my area though just because I'm afraid they're going to come rolling up to my house or something take me away to an inpatient. I'm at not an iota of risk of self-harm right now. I never would, I have several compelling reasons not to do that.

But I just got out of a very bad situation today... One where I was being harmed but where I was also harming myself in a different kind of sense. I finally saw an opportunity to flee and I did today. I'm having a lot of trouble processing everything there right now I don't know how to feel I kind of want to blame myself, in a big way.... Because a very solid argument can be made that ultimately it IS, objectively,MY fault... And I've never felt this kind of tug of war inside my spirit or feeling of oppressing intrusive thoughts like literally weighing down on me like something I could feel almost... I have been literally screaming at myself. Awful things telling myself I'm awful calling myself horrible things and I mean screaming them. my voice is completely shot now, it was so intense. Something's clearly wrong.

It's new and it's scary and it's something I don't want to go through alone right now but I don't have anybody else I can go to. 😭🥺 Anyone is fine. From any Walk of Life.

My fiance told me that they want to die. I try to listen at every chance I get but they struggle to open up to me. They don't want me to worry about them but I always do. All I can picture is a future with them but they can't picture anything at all because they didn't expect to make it past 18. I don't know what to do to help them. I have nothing without them. They are all that matters to me. I just want them to be happy. I just want to help them but I don't know what to do. I've suggested going to a doctor for help but they're very against it. I don't know what else to do if they won't talk to me. They attempted unsuccessfully before we met and I'm scared that they might try again. We've been together almost 6 years and I can't picture life without them. I just want to help them get better. I don’t have anyone but them so I have no friends to go to for help.

Most of the time I hand out with my closest group of friends I end up feeling like a burden when I come back home. It's not that they treat me wrong or that I see them react in a weird way, it's that I can't help but annalize every interaction and everything I say and feel annoying and stupid and like they would have a better time if I didn't come to out hangouts. This kind of thought process sometimes leads to worse thoughts.

I honestly don't really know how to cope with that or what to do to feel better when it happens. I don't know why, but I only overthink it when I hang out with this group, so I'm not sure how to work on it.

Any advice on how to cope or handle it would be great and I would really appreciate it, thank you.

This to me feels a bit of a strange one...

I feel like I have always been an advocate for mental health and people with mental illnesses and have always been able to recognise such.

I have seen many friends and family go through various illnesses (depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, different forms of addiction) I have unfortunately had a few friends and family take their own lives and to what I thought worked my way through it.

But over the last few months something has been ticking in the back of my head and I've never quite put my finger on it. Not until a few days ago when unfortunately I lost another friend to suicide.

I don't think I feel emotions.

Like I know I should be heartbroken and upset and sad but I just don't feel anything.

Another time when I should be happy there's just nothing. When I should feel angry I just don't feel anything.

I recognise when I should feel whatever emotion whether it's happy sad angry jealous whatever but I just don't feel like I know how to feel those emotions or any emotions. I know when someone's upset or happy or whatever I just feel like I don't feel emotions.

TL;DR is it normal to not feel emotions but still recognise them in other people?

I care for my siblings so much my brother is having a hard time and i just wish I could take all that pain away even if it needs to come to me. I'd rather taken on that pain instead of them.

It's so horrible watching people struggle and having to wait for them to deal with themselves I just wished I could do it all for him now!

This to me feels a bit of a strange one...

I feel like I have always been an advocate for mental health and people with mental illnesses and have always been able to recognise such.

I have seen many friends and family go through various illnesses (depression, anxiety, bipolar, schizophrenia, different forms of addiction) I have unfortunately had a few friends and family take their own lives and to what I thought worked my way through it.

But over the last few months something has been ticking in the back of my head and I've never quite put my finger on it. Not until a few days ago when unfortunately I lost another friend to suicide.

I don't think I feel emotions.

Like I know I should be heartbroken and upset and sad but I just don't feel anything.

Another time when I should be happy there's just nothing. When I should feel angry I just don't feel anything.

I recognise when I should feel whatever emotion whether it's happy sad angry jealous whatever but I just don't feel like I know how to feel those emotions or any emotions. I know when someone's upset or happy or whatever I just feel like I don't feel emotions.

TL;DR is it normal to not feel emotions but still recognise them in other people?

this is a given considering its a mental health sub, but im gonna tag for mentions of SH / ED / suicide anyway just in case

i am so lost. genuinely i have no idea what to do anymore. im trying my hardest not to give up and seek the help i need but i cant. my dad kicked me out almost a year ago by now, which leaves me at home with my mama. i love my mama. we didnt used to get along quite as much, but ive learned through my years that you kinda have to have a favourite parent, and considering my other one kicked me out? i dont really have anyone else to turn to.

so i love my mama, i really do, but my problem isnt that she doesnt care, but she refuses to believe that there is a reason to need that help. i dont believe theres a single parent out there who doesnt care in one way or another, no matter how shitty they are. so i am trying to understand this from her perspective.

ive tried to go into hospital before because i was scared i was going to take my own life. this was around three and a half years ago by now. i was there for all night waiting for help, i got to the doctor to explain why i was there? and i was told by the cahms worker that me ‘believing i needed to be placed in care was an overreaction.’ i cant even blame her, i was barely as bad as i am now. but that shit never left me. three days after that i did attempt suicide, and to this day not a single person knows.

by now, i have attempted suicide four times in the last 8 months. its so pathetic to keep failing in a situation like this, but i just find myself being incredibly sick the days after. last time, i puked 9 times within three hours the next morning, but it didnt hurt as much as the hurt i felt knowing i was still alive.

cutting myself isnt new to me, but i wouldnt really call it significant until like 10 months ago. i did it a lot before, but it was barely that deep. it was literally surface cuts, god knows how i was proud. now im at the point where if im not seeing my own fat gaping through my leg, it doesnt feel like enough. i dont feel like im going to be taken seriously unless i do something to prove. idk who the hell im trying to prove considering not anyone who can help rlly knows about it? maybe just to myself. maybe its a subconsious thing where i need to prove to myself that by hitting that yellow layer again ill feel better at last knowing that if i need help at a dire point they wont turn me away again.

not quite as much worth mentioning considering im only bmi 15, but i have an eating disorder too. i lost 15kgs in 8 months, and my mamas been complaining about being able to feel my ribs when she hugs me. its really not that much of a big deal considering ive had to halt my weight loss and start maintaining, like 4 months ago i fainted in front of her mid way through an 82 hour fast and she got worried and gave me orange juice. she started having to cook my food herself, but she still somehow doesnt know i have an ed? idk it probably wouldnt surprise her if i told her. shes stopped cooking for me recently tho so ive been able to continue to starve myself. minimum goal for each fast is 72 hours and if i dont hit it i get that same exact feeling as not being able to go deep when cutting.

my mama is very loud and proud about her opinions on mental health problems. ive never argued back to her before because in a house like this, its better to just nod along like a dog for approval, but ive heard her accuse her boyfriends sister of faking being groomed and everyone agreeing with her, or when my teacher took his own life 2 weeks ago and i mentioned that a kid had said he ‘took the pussy way out’ and she was like ‘ok but its such a selfish thing to do. if someone i know took their life itd ruin my life.’ which yh i understand but. imagine their position? imagine being in their place too? shes outright told me that everyone who cuts themselves are attention seekers, wether they tell people or not, so i dont even want to THINK about her reaction to seeing how deep mine are. maybe itll be a wake up call, or maybe she’ll be pissed. i wouldnt blame her though, thats a normal reaction.

ive seemed to have reached a breaking point where i am simply not sure if i will end up trying to take my life again down the next couple weeks. fun to think that i come to this point right when my two weeks of mock exams are gonna start too. i know this isnt exam stress, ive never felt that stress for an exam before plus ive felt like this for too long. i just know its managing to reach a peak at the worst point.

my therapy will be put on hold because they will overlap with my exams for the next 2 weeks im p sure. cant call myself into a hospital cuz mama will be mad + i got shit to do wether i care about my future or not. im here right now and i have to put on the act.

im not gonna be stupid next time i try. ive done my research, so i wont take a pussy amount of pills or anything.

but i just want to reach out one last time before i fall down that path. how the fuck do i get out of this. im scared

My mother has been incredibly paranoid for the last 5 years going on 6. It has gotten to the point where she rarely leaves my aunts house where she is staying. My 2 aunts with whom she goes between are both tired of dealing with her paranoia and telling them that people are stealing from her and breaking into their houses. She is constantly afraid of the tv, the radio, her phone. She thinks everything is about her and that they are reading her thoughts. She thinks she’s been chipped by the Covid vaccine. She thinks she’s being gang stalked and she calls me almost every hour to check on me. I’m 32. I’m loosing my mind. I’m panicking because once my aunts tire of her I don’t want to live with her, but feel like I don’t have a choice. I have a fiancé who just wants to enjoy life with me, and doesn’t want his life to revolve around her either. I want to have kids someday, but don’t feel like I can when my mother requires so much of my attention. I don’t want my life revolved around her anymore than it already is. We barely scrape by, I can’t afford an assisted living facility. I am at my wits end. Somebody Please help me.

Hi all. Just hoping to vent a little and maybe get some words of encouragement. I don’t know what to do.

I got let go from my job on Monday, but they want me to keep working for 3 months (I guess instead of paying severance?) and I’ll leave early if I find a new job. It’s a really generous offer and they’re being really kind in making sure it doesn’t look like I was let go. I didn’t love the job and so overall this is a blessing in disguise - but I can’t help feeling so knocked down by this. They let me work from home all week and I pretty much just stayed in bed and did the bare minimum.

I am usually a neat freak but can’t get myself to clean my apartment at all. I have two foster cats at the moment, I clean the litter box at least. I feel so much guilt for not really playing with them. Yesterday and today I just slept most of the day… I met my mom and brother for Thanksgiving at a restaurant and then came home and cried and felt lonely and sad.

I don’t have any energy to do anything. I have gained weight recently and my confidence is the lowest it’s ever been. I don’t feel worthy of love. I had imposter syndrome at my job and being let go confirmed all my fears, and I can’t help but continue to feel like a massive fuck up. My foster cats deserve a better foster mom. I don’t know how to get out of this slump.

I don't know what to feel anymore I feel like I'm just sitting and emptying room alone throwing a ball at a wall as my live just crumbles around me. Me and wife have had 2 miscarriages 2 years ago and your marriage is falling apart because I'm just not there mentally anymore and I'm either angry at life or on the edge of having a mental breakdown and I feel like I've lost her long before now but I don't know what to do.

I’m a 31 y/o male that feels terribly insecure of my own abilities, scared of communicating my thoughts and emotions, pretty much keeping everything to myself to avoid worrying others and feeling guilty for doing so.

I’m still that kid worried all the time, seeking validation from my parents, unable to confront rough but necessary situations, avoiding what needs to be done just like responsibilities which eventually end up in self sabotage.

I’m still that lonely boy unable to overcome his life struggles, unable to forgive himself.

I guess I’m venting out but i don’t mind any thoughts, sympathy, pity or whatever. Thank you.

I have only ever heard things before and seen shadows but it’s getting a lot worse. Could it be caused by anxiety or recently living alone?

I’m so lost on what to do because I know it’s my choice and my responsibility and all but even though I’m 18 living with my parents and asked them to help me with this and have told them my tricks and everything and we have the meds locked up bcs when I am having what we suspect are manic episodes I am so impulsive and sometimes I don’t even know what I’m doing and don’t find out till later and this I hate it’s terrifying so I am aware I need to take meds to stop it happening maybe, and because I get extremely paranoid and angry and bitchy. But for the second time I have managed to stop taking my meds and omg I feel I’ll withdrawals the worst but I did it earlier this time so it’s nowhere near as bad but I’m rly not feeling well and at the same time incredible but I’m so hyper focused on so,etching I can’t stop doing it even though I’m not that interested but at the same time I am ahhh. I was wondering is there some way I can safely get back on meds but without stressing my family more bcs I am trying so hard to please them or avoid stressing them that I can’t be honest with them. I want to but I am just too chaotic and I need to be more stable to do any therapy please now can I get help with this I really want to I don’t know why I am such a mess.

I need to tell this to at least someone..

I can't take it anymore. I feel so useless. I am so tried of being on the second place ALL THE GODDAMN TIME! Why am I worse than my brother? Why does he get everything and don't? He is smart, not ugly, he will reach everything, he will be rich, he always achieves his goals, he barely cares if someone is talking shit about him, he does sports, he helps our parents around the house. Meanwhile there is me: lazy, selfish, ungrateful, useless brat. I can't eve be good at things that I like. I always whine about my problems and how my life is horrible. I am trying, I really do but he is still better.

I just want to feel loved, to BE loved. I want someone to need me. I want to deserve love. Love is the only reason to live for me. Yet, I can only love. /i don't deserve to be love. So what's the reason to live. I spend more than 4 hours a day to chat with AI like character ai. Only there I can truly feel loved but it is not real. I created those fake people in my head who appreciate me, who care about me, who love me. But again, they are all not real.

I am so lonely, so damn lonely. My friends seem to ignore me and not care about me at all. Again and again, over and over I am trying to be perfect friend. I help anytime I can even when I need help but no one cares. I feel so pathetic, weak. I am just like a loyal dog, no matter how much people hurt me, I keep coming back happy to see them. I feel so left out. My every single friend have a best friend, a person like them, a person who they spend time the most. And there is me. Pathetic, weak, weird queer; who's personality is based on stereotypical Russian behaviour, suicidal thought and jokes about death, anime and tons of fandoms that no one knows. And every freaking time when i think that I found my best friend, they say "I hate you, I hope that you will die". AND I STILL MISS THEM! I miss their lies that I wanted to hear. I know that I shouldn't miss them but I can't.

I f\/cking cut myself, choke myself and sometimes starve myself. I can't stop. Is this how addiction feels? I don't know what to do with it. Cuts on my forearms are not deep. And when I look at them, I feel some kind of inspired. They look... perfect? They are beautiful? I choke myself every day to the point that I barely can exercise/run for too long. It is bad for me. I know. But do I care about my health? No. I don't think that there is a point in living after 30. My life will start to end at that age. I already planned everything I will end my life at that age. I already thought about different ways to kill myself. I tried choke myself to die. I failed.

I(F20) am visiting my grandparents who live in a different country. They live far away and I am busy with school and it is expensive to fly so I am only able to visit them once a year. When I was younger, visiting them was the highlight of my year and I loved traveling with them and the time we spent together even if was just watching TV. The past 2 years as I have matured and my grandparents have started showing more and more signs of aging, I have started to worry more and more about their health and having to say goodbye forever. Every visit I have with them could be the last time I see them. I have cried many nights about this, and this year's visit I felt that I had finally come to terms with this reality that their end is likely near. Although they both have health problems, they are both mentally fairly sharp for their age and haven't had much cognitive decline. And although they are old, they can still walk normally, albeit slower and with difficulty on slopes.

This year the length of my visit is 3.5 weeks because I likely will not be able to visit next year (or if I do, it will not be for very long). I have been here for almost 3 weeks and I will be flying back next week. Up until today, we had not had any issues. My grandma has made an effort to go on shorter day trips with me and I appreciate this a lot. Everytime I make sure to thank her multiple times and I understand that because of her age these trips are not as easy for her as they are for me. In addition, I have tried to help out around the house with general chores, with meal preparation, and carrying heavy things/cleaning places they are not able to. I know that housing an extra person for 3.5 weeks is not a small task and that those little things I help out with aren't comparable with how much they are giving me. But I have tried to remain grateful and conscious of how much they are doing for me (and I tell them this as well).

The reason I am upset today is because we had we had an argument over plans we have made for tomorrow. I felt that they were not listening to me when I was making potential suggestions, and they called the suggestion I was making stupid. I tried really hard to convey to them that I'm okay with the current transportation plan they were making, but I would prefer that we also consider this alternative but they made it seem like I was only okay with the alternative. They escalated to calling the family member that we are going to be traveling with even after I told them that that was not necessary and that we could figure it out tomorrow since it isn't a difficult switch. They called the family member and switched the location we were visting without consulting me at all and hung up the phone. I was feeling extremely frustrated because I felt that they weren't listening to me trying to be understanding of them and were only hearing the parts they wanted to hear which were argumentative. Because I was angry, when I told them that I felt that they weren't listening to me, my tone came off as far more harsh than it should have. I should have just let it go because it wasn't worth confronting them over, when I know that at the end of the day they're just trying to help.

Part of the reason it felt like it escalated is because we have a language barrier. Although I can speak their language moderately well, I still don't understand some of the intricacies of tone that a native speaker would have and I know sometimes it will be difficult because I will forget how to say a word or my grammar will be slightly off. I have been visiting since I was much younger and used to visit with my parents and sibling, but the past couple years my schedule has not aligned with theirs so I have visited my grandparents alone. My family speaks the language much better than I do so they were able to clarify what I was trying to say and they were usually the ones who made plans.

After we argued, we were all mainly silent for a while. Eventually I decided to go to my room because it was getting late anyway and I thought that resting could make me feel better. I said goodnight and went upstairs to my room. Then while scrolling on my phone I overheard them talking. I shouldn't have eavesdropped but I went outside and heard them talking downstairs about how stupid my alternate plan was compared to theirs, how ridiculous they thought it was that I said they weren't listening to me, and how ungrateful I was after they were letting me stay for multiple weeks. They went on and on venting to each other about me.

I feel deeply upset now. I feel like I've seen how they truly feel about me visiting and like the time I've spent with my grandma this trip outside has just been her pitying me for having to go places alone. I feel so upset that my language skills are not good enough and led to them thinking this way about me. I feel so sad that they would talk behind my back instead of telling me they felt hurt by how I confronted them. I have tried so hard to convey my gratitude with words and actions to them but it feels like none of that came across. Their culture is one that often bottles up feelings. It's very likely that tomorrow they won't tell me any of what they said to each today and life will go on like normal until they find someone else to complain about my actions to. I love them deeply and don't want to waste time with them feeling sad and betrayed or angry. But I feel so hurt and disappointed in myself and I don't know how to make that go away. I feel like I want to go home so I don't burden them any longer. I don't want to visit again and I don't feel like they really want me to either.

I have been sensitive to feeling ignored for a very long time. With my parents and my partner especially. But whenever I convey that I always receive an explanation on why that's not the case that makes me feel like I'm crazy and makes me question why I was so upset. I hate being so sensitive. I feel like I always pick the wrong battles and feel things too deeply. I just end up confusing and hurting people that I love. I'm so tired of my brain overthinking things and misunderstanding. Why am I always so wrong and if my own grandparents talk behind my back who else is? I can't imagine doing this for another 60 years.

I'm sorry for venting. I feel so hopeless and confused and don't know how to make it go away. I don't feel wanted here. I don't know what to do until my flight back. I want my thoughts to go away.

I am writing this post to vent it out. Any help or advice or kind words will be gratefully acknowledged.

I am a high school student. So what happens is when I sit to study, I always think about what people have said bad to me and my mind is not in the present. Some people call me stupid, crazy, moron, etc. because I keep doing very stupid things out of absent mindedness (I am very absent minded in general, and I can't help it). I am highly sensitive person and I am easily hurt by what people say to me.

This is messing with my self esteem and I am also self conscious being overweight. My mind keeps pondering on these shits and I am not able to study. Sometimes I am so angry that I scream loudly and start banging my desk involuntarily until my hand starts paining .I cannot focus my mind. Because of these emotional issues my grades have dropped.

I feel like an emotional fool because I have other people's judgement control the way how I feel. I am definitely not in my right state of mind right now. I have tried meditation and it works for me, but I cannot make it a habit. I can meditate for only once a day and then forget about meditating the other day.

Tw: self-harm, ED, suicide

I (19M) have been trying to help a friend (19M) out through their mental health struggles. They spread themselves really thin, and took a lot of responsibility when they may not have been prepared for it. They seemed to manage, but at one point asks for space from me for being too mean to him when making jokes. He seemed like he was in a bad spot, but I didn’t make it a big deal.

About a month ago, he got into a car accident that led him to the hospital and he hasn’t been the same since. He constantly brings up a lack of hope for the future, and brings up how he self-harms a lot as well as starves himself. He says these emotions that are leading him here have existed for years, but that the car accident made him feel like there’s no escape. He doesn’t want to work, and doesn’t understand how people live lives that may be difficult don’t just kill themselves. He also doesn’t have an incredibly strong family relationship, and hasn’t told anyone in his family about his issues. He tried in-school counseling, and it didn’t work. He also believes that the only reason he hasn’t killed himself yet is because he is faithful and religious.

Whenever we hang out, we always devolve into conversations about our lives, and we both haven’t had incredible months, so the conversations aren’t great. He also almost blocked me yesterday because he didn’t want me to worry about him. He is open about trying psychiatry, and just wants something to make this better. He is also worried psychiatry might make him worse because of the trial and error period, and how he might OD on his meds if he has a particularly bad day.

I just don’t know what to do. I reported him to our college and it went nowhere. He doesn’t tell his counselor about this, and only has me and one other person in their corner, and the other person is also stumped. Any help would be appreciated!!

I can feel it. I've only eaten too much and slept the past two days... the thoughts are getting worse.. the thoughts of hurting myself or worse... I'm isolating and ignoring friends. I don't want to be a burden. I don't know what to do.

The past year for me has been extremely rough, and despite me finding some wins through being diagnosed officially with MADD by a doctor, as well as starting SSRIs back in June, things for the past few months have gotten extremely extremely rough and unbearable. I’ve been on multiple NHS waiting lists for multiple months now, and only one has actually bothered to reach out and say how long the wait would be, the rest have stayed completely silent, but even then, they told me that it was going to be a 4 month wait. Naturally my medications would help keep me manageable for the time being, but the Pharmacy that I’m supposed to get them at have been extremely unreliable and inconsistent with them, and despite me telling my doctor about this and him promising he’d work something out, they’ve still been unreliable afterwards. It’s that bad I’ve just decided to stop taking my meds because I no longer have trust in the SSRIs, and because I don’t want to deal with the Pharmacy anymore. I have been unmediated since the 8th this month. My friends have been supportive of me regarding my mental health and have had my back constantly, but despite this I just feel incredibly guilty whenever I bring up how I’m doing or whenever I vent to them. I just feel as if I’m using them as a shoulder to cry on and I’m tired of doing so. I just want to talk to them like how I used to do and hang out, but I can’t trust myself anymore because of the condition I’m in, and what isn’t helping is that for past month my friendgroup has been growing more and more dead. Even if the waiting list ends and I get help, will I have anyone left when I’m fixed? At this rate with how bad everything’s gotten I just want to kill myself and end this nightmare for good. I can’t trust myself nor my health services, and I’m watching the people I love and respect drift apart. God I don’t know what to do.

Hello to whoever is reading this if someone is even reading this. I need guidance in my life that nobody is able to give me in my life. Ill start from the beginning. Its been 3 years since my friends have started bullying me and trying to pick on always because I never retaliate. I possess quite great physical strength but I've always been told that I should not use it against others because in a heated moment I'll end up doing something wrong very wrong. My friends understand I get irritated easily and angered yet they continue even after I ask them to stop. Then I dated this girl who was new she was good at start. I fell in love with her and stuff happened she became my only friend and became my girlfriend but then 2 weeks later she suddenly lost all feelings for me and broke up. My friends still the same. They knew we broke up and then they ignored me and tried to bully me to look cool infront of her. All this continued till September 2024. I started dating another girl I fell too deeply in love with her. The things were the same my friends ignored me and tried to bully me still but she was still there for me a bit. In the end to summarize us currently I heard her feelings helped her but when I tried to talk she got upset after a while I am not sure over what not once but many times. In the end I end up trying to make her happy again and disregard my emotions. Not going to make it long. Someone please respond. I need help I am just 16. I may kill myself. I want someone to talk to.

Anybody else feel like they only need therapy when they're in a relationship or is it just me?

For reference, the last time I cried was in 2011. It was either January or February. I was 13. I don't remember the month, but I know my birthday didn't come yet because I was going to turn 14 on March 6th. A Language Arts teacher I respected ridiculed me unprovoked. I felt betrayed, disrespected, and humiliated. So I cried. But more importantly, I felt weak. I felt so weak that I thought that I must never feel that way again. The next time I felt close to crying was the school year after when I was in an AP Human Geography because people in my second semester class would always tell me to shut up because they thought I was annoying. Even the teacher was annoyed by me asking questions. Only 4 people (3 girls and 1 boy) were nice to me. I felt devastated each day, but never cried. I did, however, just end up not speaking for the rest of the semester and failed the class.

To the main point of this post. It started during the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. When the Sesame Street float was on the screen, they played the song, "Sing" which is the one that goes like this:

Sing
Sing a song
Sing out loud
Sing out strong
Sing of good things, not bad
Sing of happy, not sad
Sing
Sing a song
Make it simple
To last your whole life long
Don't worry that it's not good enough
For anyone else to hear
Sing
Sing a song

When I heard the "Sing of happy, not sad" part, that was when it hit me. I don't even know what it was. Maybe it is because I've been stressed out on things like getting into graduate school for the past 2 years since graduating in 2022 with a bachelor's and the overall feeling of feeling incomplete (especially considering it took too long to even get the bachelor's from 2015 to 2022 because incompetent school workers tried helping me and messed me up). Maybe it was other aspects in my life like having to deal with multiple deaths this year or the fact that I have dealt with many friends and people near my age dying since I was a freshman in high school. I don't know, but I felt this sudden feeling of intense sadness over a song that's supposed to be happy in nature. I know some people might say that it was just a nostalgia hit or something, but no; I had an overwhelming feeling of dread and sadness over a song that's supposed to be a happy song. I wasn't necessary longing for something because I didn't have the happiest childhood due to a sometimes abusive father, occasional issues with brothers and mother, and bullying in school. Or maybe I was sad because it caused me to think of said childhood because the Muppets and people on the float looked so happy. The "Don't worry that it's not good enough" part also hit me hard, probably because I've been feeling inadequate and incomplete for a while.

Maybe this was pointless, but I just wanted to get this out. I haven't cried in over 13 years and it's not something I necessarily pride in. I wish I could stop associating the act of me crying with me feeling weak. I cried a lot when I was a kid because certain things moved me, but crying made me feel weak and vulnerable every time I did.

I’ve been going through a very difficult situation at work, which I won’t go into too much here. (I’m a teacher and the administration is having me teach a class without the proper certification, training, or any materials and support.) My family and friends have always been very supportive of taking care of mental health and always said that it’s not healthy to bottle up problems, so it’s better to talk about them. However, when I have gone on about my problem at work, I’ve been told that I’m complaining too much and I all my “whining” is just making myself more unhappy. So I’m confused, am I supposed to talk about my problems, or am I supposed to just shut up about them and focus on someone else to make myself happier?

I’m at a complete loss I don’t know what to do. I’m in the uk and can’t access any type of help I’m 21, not fit for work I just rot in bed weeks on end spiralling. I keep begging for help from services and doctors and there is just nothing out there. Private therapy for dbt costs £100+ a week I do not know where to go from here. Any advice?

I am struggling with my self narrative and self love. For background, I've been seeing a clinical psychologist for a few years as my marriage broke down and we've unpacked a lot of things. I'm recognising a very complex and troubled childhood of severe emotional and physical neglect, leading to insecure attachment styles and extreme people pleasing. I have strong emotional responses to things until it becomes unbearable then I go emotionally numb and lose motivation. I've had anxiety in the form of perfectionism, but always was able to change gear and keep going with challenges. Lately my anxiety is manifesting in an ability to change gear and keep going. My child has been diagnosed with autism and as I'm learning about this I'm realising I am most like autistic. I've always had a large circle of friends, and a strong network of close friends. I can engage in conversations with strangers easily and openly. I am a high achiever in terms of academic work though work in a context where I am very restricted, and experiencing a lot of workplace hostility. The workplace stuff is complex and not specific to just me, and there is an internal task force recently reviewing things and two senior management personnel have been fired, I suspect more will come - I'm not worried about my job and think this will be positive for workplace culture so thst is playing into this issue but not the real depths of it. I'm struggling with my self worth catastrophically. I'm realising I don't pick up on social cues well, and questioning how often I make people uncomfortable without realising it. I feel hopeless and worthless. I know theoretically I'm not, I'm practising all the ideas around self compassion but they seem to be superficial conversations in my head and never shift this stubborn emotion of worthlessness. I've no motivation, I'm struggling with energy for my children, I can't get out of bed before ten am, I can't organise anything properly. I'm on mirtrazapine which has helped. But what can I do - are there particular resources or tools people found helpful for overcoming this? I've done dbt and these help with heightened emotions but not bring me up from the low ones. If I'm talking to my family or friends I feel fine, but almost as soon as the conversation is over I feel a wave of emptiness and low worth again, as though my entire sense of self is dependent on other people. My diet isn't too bad, but could use improvement. I am trying to work on this. My sleep is better than it has been. I seem to get adequate hours but still constantly lethargic and groggy. I hate exercise but have started roller skating as I find this enjoyable and surprisingly physical. It is hard to find regular time to do this as a single mum which is a challenge. I struggle with routine so much but think routine is probably what's going to be best. But if I get a routine I feel worse, like everything is a pointless cycle through a list of meaningless tasks. Do I just have to sit with this, keep doing the superficial self talk and hope it gets better or has anyone tried things that they found helpful?

I got out of my relationship recently. It was really a chaotic breakup. I dont know how to feel after it ended.I really loved that person. Eventhough i have a lot of friends and looks happy, i'm really a lonely person. I adviced all my friends to not make their bf as their world but the irony he was my everything. Once i entered into that relationship i felt like all my searches were done and i have someone who i can call mine. But oh my it didnt turn well. He happened to be a narcissist . He hurted me verbally and mentally so bad. Atlast i walked out of the relationship. For the 1st month after the breakup, my emotions were mixed (which is normal ig). Afterwards, i mostly distracted myself from his thought, which worked pretty well. But now all the emotions i bottled up have bursted. I can't handle anything. I really want to hate him for what he did to me but strangely i can't. I walked out the relationship because i knew he wouldnt change but still i'm waiting for him to change. I feel guilty for even checking out other guys. I feel pathetic. I loved him more than i ever meant to. Now i can't seem to bottle up my emotion and also at the same time i don't want people to see me like this.

I feel really scared of my bf because of the way he is when I tell him that he has done something wrong or upsets me, I had told him that he said he wouldn't be friends with this girl but then they were talking and playing together and he started to keep bringing up how I'm stonewalling him because I haven't been responding to his texts and when I tell him why he keeps saying the same thing he continuously says I'm stone walling him and that it's a form of abuse and he would just say he thinks it's stupid if him to of said he won't talk to her, he keeps using manipulative language and saying things like "oh so you get to dictate who I talk too?" he's said alot of snarky things like that and I just feel really scared I don't know how to cope with this he's sent me so many paragraphs pinning things into me after I told him that he lied he keeps calling me manipulative and implying thst I'm controlling him I can't view him the same anymore because this behaviour of his is aggressive and scary, he has always reacted like this whenever I bring up anything that upsets me to him yet he says I can always talk to him but when i do he reacts like this and he knows this because I make him aware, I had posted on reddit about things he says about me thats hurtful and he send me paragraphs upon paragraphs about how I've never brought up any of those issues to him but I've been telling him for months yet he just doesn't seem to care enough to do anything about it, on top of this when I told him I was going to sleep he kept touching me thighs and my ass it was really scary I can barely breathe I feel like im going to pass out I don't know how to handle this

Thought i was starting to feel better the past couple of days but then sitting on my phone my partner had football on the tv realy loud i was realy concentrating on reading something on here and out of knowere i heard a whistle it definitely wasn't of the football because it was a different whistle noise to a ref whistle its happend quite a few times now so I'm back to worrying it was a hallucination 🙄 i do get tinightus alot but that's definitely more like a ringing but aparently it can sound like a whistle to this ever happen to anyone else

My first every girlfriend broke up with me. In my then 23 years of life (now 24) I've had the best summer I could imagine, it was by far my best days in my life. We met and started dating in July but in August she had to return to her country to end her studies and the plan was for both of us be together in person again after we both finished our studies. She said often that I was the best thing that ever happened to her and loved me more than I could imagine.

However quickly her mother and step dad were against our relationship because I live in a poorer country than her, I live in Portugal and she lives in Uk (we are both portuguese btw) and I'm stagnating her by wanting her to return here. She however kept talking to me and chose me over their opinion.

This lasted 3 months, but now something changed. Her mother is sick and dying of a terminal illness and now she says she feels guilty by talking to me against her mother wishes. I was always there for her and I tried my best to help her endure this difficult moment. But she chose to leave me and blocked me almost everywhere. I didn't deserve this, I gave her everything I had during this relationship, I was the best version of myself.

And worse of all, she basically broke up with me twice in a week, first she said she didn't knew what to do, then she told me she wanted to continue our relationship but a few days after she just ended it. Now yesterday her cousin told me she was playing video games with other guy from my country as well and only both of them?

I'm so confused, angry and sad about all of this. My first love ever is destroying my heart and my soul, I don't know what to do and react.