A family member was arrested for harming random people in public during a mental health crisis and will be in jail for awhile. I went to her apartment to grab important papers and a few clothes, etc. as she’s being evicted. I just grabbed all the papers I saw since I had to get in and out quickly. Going thru them now I see there’s a few important documents but mostly ramblings, poetry, weird symbols drawn on the papers. I know she likes to do creative writing and some of the papers are dated back to 2017.

I’m sorry if I sound uneducated but should I keep the writings for her or toss it? Would reading these writings trigger an episode? I can imagine her reading these and thinking she’s so much better at writing when she’s off her meds, whereas a stable person can see how concerning it is.

What should I do about the weird things of hers that I took? Going thru the paper stacks I found a book of matches with the matches gone but some twigs placed where the matches would be. She was hoarding pen caps, you know stuff like that. I don’t want to show her when she’s on her meds again “look at how crazy you were for hoarding garbage” I don’t give a shit about teaching a lesson cuz that’s not how this disease works for her. The clothes I took for her reek and I have to wash them and get her a new bag because when she comes out she won’t have anything. I’m not trying to coddle her, she committed a heinous crime. But I’m trying to treat her with some level of humanity. Just to clarify no one died or was seriously injured but she definitely must’ve caused ptsd on innocent people.

TLDR: family member had mental health crisis, attacked innocent people in public (no one was seriously injured but still fucked up) and is in jail now. I retrieved a few of their belongings from their apartment, should I keep or toss the “creative writing” skitzo rambling? I am worried keeping it will trigger an episode when they read it. None of it makes sense to me.

I am at 32 yr female. I am someone who normally had some kind of anxiety all the time, depending on my life phase. I got married 2 years ago, and moved with my Husband to USA (from India). I was happy and okay for the first 4 months, then suddenly I started getting anxious and fear without any reason. Soon my anxiety got worse and I started having intrusive thoughts. I have faced getting intrusive thoughts previously too, they used to disturb me for few months and dissapear. But this time, my intrusive thoughts are killing, I randomly get intrusive thoughts about my husbands previous relationship and sexual life, even thought he has moved on completely. I also know that he is committed to me. While I now know consciously that his past has no bearing on our lives, I subconsciously keep thinking about minute details of his past, sometimes I can't control my thoughts and I get depressed about it. I also feel this is affecting my relationship with my husband as I am not able to be normal with having all these thoughts in my life. I have no idea why such thoughts come into my mind even though they I dont care about my husband's past at all. This keeps repeating every few months. I have taken therapy, medications everything, still I remain so anxious even now. I don't know why this is happening to me, I feel like I might go mad by thinking like this. I think this is because of moving into a new country, and the anxiousness caused by the unfamiliarity. And I feel anxiety is attacking what is the most important to me now, my relationship. I feel that going back to my country can help me come out of this anxious loop. What can I do at this moment? Has anyone faced this before? Pls help me what I can do.

I have an almost 7 year old daughter who has SEVERE behavioral/ mental health issues. She seems to just switch into these episodes as if she’s a light switch. She will be completely fine, stable, cooperative and a normal 7 year old for a period of time (sometimes weeks, sometimes 2-3 months) then out of no where she becomes a completely different child. She becomes defiant, violent, mean, lack empathy, etc for weeks or months, then we switch back again to being stable. She’s currently diagnosed with ADHD and DMDD. I’m at a loss of how to help her anymore at home and in school. At home, anything can set her off and I become the target of the violence (these tantrums can last from 15 minutes to over an hour) of me physically having to restrain her. At school, she has a IEP, BIP, where she gets weekly counseling and individual counseling. She’s in a 8:1:1 classroom. She has been sent home every day for the past month because of her behaviors and no one can figure out any triggers of what may be causing these violent episodes. As of yesterday, she is now on a modified schedule for 8:30AM-11:00AM and we are still having problems. The school has decided to refer her to Therapeutic Day Schools but are now considering home schooling since those replacements can take up to a year to happen. At home I have tried everything I have thought about, play therapy, family therapy, she sees a psychiatrist monthly and a therapist weekly (this is the 2nd therapist as the first discharged her due to violence). I’m at a loss of what to do.

I don’t know how to talk about any of this. So I guess I’m going to dump it here. TW: mentions of sexual assault/suicide/physical and verbal abuse/substance abuse/death

I’m 26. I’m a trans man. I turn 27 in January. I just buried my longest living friend and two years ago I buried my partner, both trans and 27 at the time of their death. And I feel dead already.

Life has been a mess for…a while I guess now that I’m typing it. I’ve dealt with sexual abuse since I was a child from neglectful parents, partners, and former friends. Physical abuse since a preteen, off and on. Verbal abuse as long as I can remember, off and on. I’m an addict. I’ve been off of drugs completely for a couple years, and I stopped drinking a month ago. But I’ve been unhoused, dealt with issues accessing food and then over consuming when it wasn’t an issue, and some not so safe environments as a result of that and childhood experiences. I’ve watched a lot of friends die. I found a few. I’ve moved a lot, I think 9 times in the last 3 years. Physical places don’t feel safe. And I feel alone and “othered” all the time. I don’t feel like I belong, no matter how much I mask or pretend.

It feels like my entire life’s worth of grief and pain and anger is sitting on me right now. I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t know how to work through. I just keep crying or going numb. I’m in a lot of debt, so working on filing bankruptcy. I work full time, but at the hospital my friend just spent a week dying in. I am trying to be and stay sober. Trying not to self harm. Trying not to do worse.

I called a therapist today. They want me to do SAIOP. Somehow that feels…wrong. But maybe that’s my shame. I agreed, and start on the 4th, the anniversary of my partner’s death. I feel so low. And I don’t feel hopeful. But I’m going to try anyway. I don’t want to miss 28.

So…I guess all of that dumped is here to say, any advice or just encouragement would be good. Or anyone who can relate.

As i said in the title, and don't get me wrong, he's a great guy. i just stumbled across old dms with him and listened back the voice messages 'you can always talk to me, no matter what happens, I'm here for you' it was all bullshit, i hate men's egos, i hate women's insecurities, why do i have to be blocked on everything all because he had gotten a girlfriend?

it hurts. i don't care if i used to like him, and i could understand if i was single, but I've been in a long and healthy relationship for awhile now, i miss having my best friend dude, he understood me and had my back when nobody else did, and it hurts to know that he threw me to the side for some girl.

sometimes i hate being a girl in general for that exact reason. guys always get on such a high horse when in a healthy relationship, why the FUCK do i have to be pushed so far aside to the point I'm blocked on everything? i miss having my best friend. i wish he'd just unblock me and as selfish as it feels to say it i wish that girl broke up with him. he unfriended EVERYONE for her.

nobody matters to him besides her, he said i move to fast but do i really when you are blocking everyone for a girl you've been dating for less than a month?

the whole thing has been fucking with me and i just wanna break down and cry, he always helped me through tough times so i guess i kind of just came here to get this off my chest.

Hey all,

Not normally one to post my feelings online, and this is a little difficult for me I’ll be honest.

I’m a student in undergrad, a student-athlete, and looking to apply to PA school for the first time in April. For background, I grew up getting solid grades, strong GPA, and a decent ACT. I’ve run track and field since I was in 6th grade, and got several offers out of high school to compete in college. I’ve bounced around from school to school since then, due to financial hardship, as track isn’t much of a “money sport” unlike football, basketball, etc. I never really struggled in school until this semester, battling with Organic Chemistry, Research Methodology, Biology, as well as working an overnight position at the hospital. I recently quit the team I was competing for, as they were dishonest about my scholarship. (Told me i’d receive money, and I never did lol) I understand the simple answers, work hard, give yourself grace, etc.

However, in recent months Ive come to feel completely and truly exhausted, I see no point in trying anymore. I’ve worked for 9 years and was always told if I just work hard enough! or if I believe enough I could do whatever I wanted. I realized my childhood dreams of going to the olympics wouldn’t hold up pretty early in my college career, but to be led along on the grounds some of my education would get paid for, just to never receive that, hurt. Good grades feel pointless, and I’ve gotten swarmed by automated responses for all the Ds I have in school. I feel like nothing in life is worth it. I’m not necessarily suicidal, but just tired, unmotivated, and hurt.

TL;DR: If my best isn’t good enough, why bother trying at all?

My sibling lives in another state halfway across the country from me. They have struggled with mental health issues which result in a very untidy household and I want to brainstorm ways I can support from far away. They are on a positive journey right now : exercising, eating nutritious foods, and not drinking alcohol, but their house continues to be really dirty which I know affects mental health.

My first step is likely going to be to try and help find a cleaning person to go there once a week, but even if my sibling agrees to pay for someone weekly, I’m afraid the house will be clean for a day then go back to disgusting for six days until the cleaning person returns. Additionally, it gets so gross in the house that I’m afraid any cleaning professional would be reluctant to come back.

Any ideas how to help my sibling develop routines in order to keep their house clean? During a recent visit, I found multiple grocery bags of trash in their bed (tuna packets, plastic containers with moldy strawberry stems, empty and full seltzer bottles, hot sauce bottles), bowls filled with eggshells (they must peel eggs in bed while watching tv), a water glass used as a toothpaste-spittoon (instead of brushing teeth in the bathroom).

Please help! Thank you.

(Despite my best efforts to shorten it, thank you for reading this.)

I’ve been feeling anxious around my partner lately, even though I know we’re a great match and we both do everything we can to support each other.

Despite the long distance and his long work hours (including night shifts), he always reassures me and involves me in his life, even in small ways like letting me know when he goes out.

But whenever I’m waiting for him to pick up (or wake up), or know he’s awake but busy with work or other things, I start assuming he’ll leave me or might cheat on me, even though he’s never given me any reason to think that way. [For example, if he is just barely awakened and scrolling through TikTok, lazy in bed, but doesn’t pick up on WhatsApp— I assume he is talking to someone else].

When we first started dating, I opened up to him about my biggest fear: betrayal, whether it’s being cheated on or being talked about behind my back.

Part of this also comes from not feeling good enough for him sometimes, even though he constantly tries to tell me that I am. Our love languages are different—mine is more words, while his is physical touch, like hugs, which makes it harder because of the long distance. I know he’s doing his best, but these feelings are still there.

How can I stop feeling this way and let myself trust in the love we have? I genuinely love him, and I’m afraid that if I let these feelings grow, I might lose trust in him and end up self-sabotaging our relationship.

!!! As I’m typing this, I realize it might sound ridiculous, but as a schizophrenic who’s been through SA and betrayal, this is the first relationship where I genuinely don’t want to sabotage things or become toxic.

And the truth is, whenever we talk and there are gaps in replies or change of tone, I have a panic attack.

Hi everyone,

I've been struggling with intense anxiety for a while now, and it's been taking a toll on me. I constantly feel a sense of dread and worry about my future, especially when it comes to my career path. I started working as a front-end developer, but deep down, I don’t feel like this is where I want to be long-term. Even though I'm trying to transition into data analysis, the uncertainty around making that change only seems to fuel my anxiety.

Beyond work, I often feel overwhelmed just trying to balance everything—work, health, and personal goals. Some days, the anxiety is so strong that I feel paralyzed, stuck in a loop of overthinking and self-doubt. It's exhausting, and I'm starting to feel like I’ll never get past this.

I’m sharing this here because I wonder if others have felt similarly and managed to find some relief. Any advice or words of encouragement would really help right now. Thanks for reading—I appreciate it.

I was always a closed girl, who didn't want to let people in, didn't want affection, and didn't want people to come too close. Later in adulthood I started to doubt myself and got psychoses, which caused me to show completely different behavior, which I also saw in others. I started to behave like a little girl, out of fear that I would hurt someone, because I heard from certain people in the past that I was terrible. I suddenly became dependent on others, I sought a lot of attention and contact from others. My psychologist said that I have an attachment disorder. Only I don't understand why this wasn't the case until I was 19, and then suddenly it was. Could this not simply have something to do with my psychoses, that I went from closed to oversharing, and became the complete opposite of who I was?

I thought someone was my best friend, we spend the most of middle school days together. I was shocked when someone sent me screenshots of him talking garbage about me. He was lost and sick and I feel its my fault I wasn't helping him when he was down until he reached talking about me that way, now I feel the urge of discussing with him again. What should I do?

Before I start, I should say that I have a lot of mental and physical health issues and am also diagnosed with all of them. Due to this fact, I already had to repeat two years of school because my mental and physical health gave up on me. I'm now 19 years old (20 in about two weeks) and in 12th grade. (I'm living in Germany and am getting my A-levels.)

Now, it feels like the same thing over and over again. I don't know if my depression is getting worse again, or if it's some sort of (autistic?) burnout. I have zero motivation, everything is hard, I can't concentrate, I'm tired 24/7, and my head is always screaming at me to go back home and lay down again. I lost interest in creative work I'm usually passionate about. But my mental health also complicates my chronic pain.

My gastrointestinal issues also make it hard for me to attend school because I'm in pain almost every day. When it's not my bowels causing trouble, it's headaches. I just want it to stop already! I have a clear goal and fought so hard to get close to it and now, my body and brain are going up against me. I genuinely don't know what to do. I already have a lot of missing days at school.

My partner and I are also moving flats, which just puts more stress on both of us. I feel so selfish and guilty for resting. only for the teachers to make it even worse. They have no empathy for the fact that I'm just trying to recover. My doctor also tries his hardest to come up with a solution for my physical symptoms but it always comes back to mental distress.

What can I do? Is there some way to get out of this without quitting school?

(Just for context: My diagnosed mental illnesses are: PTSD (from a traumatic childhood environment), BPD, clinical depression and generalized anxiety disorder. The diagnostic process of an Autism Spectrum Disorder is not yet completed, but at this point it's pretty likely. The GAD might be a misdiagnosis due to that.)

I'm awfully sorry for the long post.

I’m 19 years old about to turn 20 years old next month. All I do right now is grind hard in e-commerce and most likely can see myself making a living off it. But all I do is stay home and pretty distant from family. My parents recently split up and that’s not really the problem. The real part I need advice in is that I live in Miami and all there really is clubs, nice restaurants and etc. stuff that doesn’t motivate me to go outside all I really do here is stay in my room. And I know it’s not the best choice choice for me at this part of my life but my mom keeps offering me to send me to be full time student even to a country like France and just learn anything. Before I was pretty much just ignoring the offer but now I’m pretty open to leave Miami. Something inside me is bleeding through me to leave My hometown and leave my old self because i know I shouldn’t be in my room all day. Don’t want to brag but I’m honestly a good looking kid, I’m 6,3 and in shape and honestly a smooth mouth piece with the girls but never had a girlfriend in my life. There a feeling inside me to leave my old self because all I do is stay in this box and to go on my own journey and find new identity. What would you guys do in my position? Any advice ? I appreciate you guys for reading through and my parents have the money to send me to school across county fyi but I don’t see my self doing anything with school for my career. Im chasing the e-commerce route. Also only problem I’m having leaving hometown is leaving my dad behind alone because my brother doesn’t have much time to be with him because of his work.

i recently discovered a note in my phone, one i wrote just over 4 years ago, when i was 16. perfectly describing exactly how i feel every time life goes quiet and i have a moment to think. in that note i mention how i want to scream from the top of my lungs that no one is listening to me, that i am hurting and it feels like no one cares. and to this day, when the world goes quiet i feel that exact same way. i have a therapist now, and i have been completely honest in every session, they’re through a video call and i get through the welfare i’m on. so i’m thankful for the 30 minutes i get each week but it doesn’t feel like enough time. i go through so many emotions in one week and everyone is telling me that what im feeling is normal, there’s a lot of stress in my life right now, the whole generation is going through it. but yk what? i’m tired of being thrown in with everyone else because now i feel like that makes it okay? that somehow makes the way i feel “normal”? no one is listening to me, and im starting to feel like the only way to get people to listen is to hurt myself. i’ve thought about it several times in my years dealing with this feeling, but never did anything aside from digging my nails into my hands or punching my dresser because “ow pain” and my mother telling me “it helps no one.” like some how my feelings of not wanting to be alive are less serious because i appear to be holding it together and would never actually end it. because i can talk other people down, with my feelings aside, but there is no one there when im the one on the end that needs talked down. i truly feel like my only purpose in existing is to help other people be better, or do better, and what happens to me just doesn’t matter. but yk, i wouldn’t end my own life. but i constantly imagine a higher power ending it for me. a freak car accident, or i have a sudden seizure and never wake up, or i complete a doordash delivery on a mountain backroad at night and just never make it back home. i don’t think about ending my life myself, but i think about other people or things ending it for me. no one is listening to the things ive noticed about my emotions or the way my brain works. i do a lot of research, i love learning about psychology i know what is wrong and why it’s wrong with me, but everyone keeps dismissing it. and im so tired of not being taken seriously and going unnoticed. thanks to anyone who’s made it this far, and i hope yall are doing better than i am.

I think I'm failing. I have an online friend who lives on the Keewatin part of Canada. He's a native canadian too, his age is 24. I've been talking with them for a long while now, like 10 months now. They got homeless at like a year ago. They have no people to talk to, no friends or family, and the area where he stays in, the people ignore him like he's not there.

I don't know what place in the Keewatin district he lives in, he doesn't want to respond to me and is now ignoring me. He's struggling with depression and is having suicidal thoughts, due to the condition he's in right now. Homeless, no friends, he cut off ties with his family, the only people he can talk to are he's online viewers but even then, they are forgetting about him.

I've been trying to persuade them to seek help, call a hotline, or seek a homeless shelter, but he ignores me everytime. He's planning to end it all soon, a month. I've done everything to get him to change his mind, but again, he doesn't listen. I feel like I'm failing.

What should I do, I'm distressed.

I've been very depressed for the past three years but haven’t told anyone about it. I feel like I'm living on other people’s terms, as if I’m living a life I don’t deserve. I don’t have any friends or family members to talk to. What should I do? Suicide is not an option.

I'm a woman in my 20's. I had cystic acne on my face and upper back throughout my teenages. I had hyperpigmentation and large pores on my cheeks at first and then I developed severe acne scars on these areas. I was on tretinoin for 8 months when I was 18 and continued to form new scars during and after treatment. I've had depression and anxiety since my mom died when I was 18. I dropped out of university because of my mental health. One of the biggest factors that has contributed to my poor mental health and has literally ruined my whole life for me are my acne scars.

I am from Pakistan and where I come from, most marriages are arranged by the family where the boy's family visits the girl's house to see her and thereafter they either send a marriage proposal or simply inform them that they have rejected the girl. Looks are a huge part of whether she's going to be chosen. I've never allowed any family to visit our home for this purpose. It did happen once but without my consent. I've not dated anyone since I was 19 years old. I don't want anyone to look at my face up close. At first I was only conscious about boys noticing the scars but for a few years I am ashamed of even my friends and family looking at them and I have not been meeting them for a long time. Where I come from, acne scar treatment is quite cheaper compared to the US and Europe, whether it's laser or fat grafting or other treatments. Many years back I visited a cosmetic surgeon with my father. He looked at my scars and said this could be fixed with fat grafting. He said it would cost Rs. 100,000 (Pakistani currency) which is around $360 today but was around a $1000 back then. Even laser sessions in Pak are very cheap, like $50 per session cuz the rents and wages over here are quite low and it's a cheap country to live in. But my father refused to pay for my treatment at that time even though he is the one who has always pressurized me to get married and to let him arrange my marriage to a boy of his choosing. But at the end of the day it's on me for the boy and his family to 'like' me and my appearance for that to happen. He spends lavishly on his new wife and kids, way more than he can afford, travelling to other countries and what not and but could not spend so little on my treatment. Where I come from fathers pay for children's education and medical treatments until they start to earn for themselves after college (in case of sons) and even after that in case of daughters until they get married.

I hate my face. It it makes me so angry that this is something that could have been fixed a long, long time ago if my father wanted but he chose not to fix it. I dont leave the house. I dont go anywhere. I cant, Not with these scars. I cant go on a date with a boy I like. I cant meet any boys I meet online no matter how much I like them or they like me back. I cant go to family gatherings. It breaks my heart so much because I know this is not something that cant be fixed. It's so unfair. My father blames me for not getting married on time cuz most girls over here get married in their early 20's. My mom had a lot of gold gifted to her by her father which my dad sold when she was alive whenever there was a financial crisis. He abused us financially after my mom's death not because he was not well to do but simply because he chose to. My siblings and my basic needs were neglected to pay for the luxurious lifestyle of my stepmother and their kids (she is a stay-at-home mom). Every time I look in the mirror, it just reminds me that my own father abandoned me, neglected me, let me remain scarred and not good enough for any boy to like.

I feel so helpless. I know these treatments are quite expensive all around the world. And I feel so unfortunate that I was unable to get these treatments despite them being so inexpensive in my country compared to others, All I wish for is for my scars to disappear. I want to socialize. I want to hang out with friends. I want to go on dates. I want to work. I'm suffering from extreme executive dysfunction. I wish I could earn. I have ADHD (self-diagnosed) but I am 100% sure about it. My shrink was unable to diagnose it a few years back. I wish I could get my ADHD treated, so I could work and earn and get my acne scars treated myself but the past few years I have lived in such misery, I don't like to look at myself in the mirror. I don't want anything in my life more than I want to get my scars treated. I'm crying as I am writing this because I never talk about it to anyone. This is the first time I'm talking about it. I can't deal with it any longer.

My sister (15) is a very logical and straightforward person. She's usually the silliest goofball, but keeps quiet about her thoughts and struggles.

She got into a fight with my parents today. I saw her crying, so I closed the door and sat down to let her talk. She later started talking about school and how she'll have these very random mood swings, where she'll get very depressed for like an hour and then be fine. I asked her what she meant, like does she get very burnout or sad, and she said "no I think about killing myself". She then proceeded to say "I won't actually" but I'm still very very worried. I asked if she'd like to talk to someone, maybe a counselor. She's cautious about telling her school counselor anything because she doesn't know if he'll tell anyone (our parents, other teachers, etc). Valid concern. I try my best to say "legally he can't unless you threaten to hurt someone" so maybe she'll talk to him. But I feel like I shouldn't let this go.

I don't know if I'd be the best person for her to talk to. I will obviously listen to whatever she has to say and do all I can, but this feels like more than what a 17 year old can handle. I'm extremely hesitant to talk to my parents about this. I will not say anything to them without speaking to her first though (unless it's clear she's in actual danger). I had problems in the past (severe depression, anxiety, suicide attempt) and my parents did their best, but they made it worse in some cases. It's a very conservative Christian household, so not very mental health aware.

So I don't know. Should I tell them (after talking to my sister)? Should I convince her to see a therapist? Should we start with the school counselor and see if it works? Im just so incredibly scared to think that she's going through the same thing I did, or possibly worse.

hi, im 17F. forgive me if i posted this in the wrong sub, but im not really sure where to go. for context my dad often likes to make “jokes”, about my life which are supposedly funny, though i think only amuse himself and my mother. for context, i was bullied in high school after a break up after my ex spread false rumours about me and i lost many of my friends, who when looking back i shouldn’t have considered my friends in the first place for instantly believing those rumours. anyway, i eventually got a better group of friends. im in college now, and ive been doing much better, i made more friends too! but my dad doesnt seem to believe me for some reason. he never acknowledges the fact that im doing better and have a group of friends now. he always says but “but you have no friends” or “who, X again? shes your only friend”. im not comfortable with him saying that at all, because i really did lose all my friends once and it just doesnt feel right for my own father to tell me how i have no friends, regardless of whether its a joke or not. when i get upset about it, he’ll ask me “why the face, someone bullied you again?” i know that when reading this, it may sound like my dad is just looking out for me, but he says it in a sarcastic, half laughing tone which just doesnt fit the situation because he knows how bad that break up took a toll on me, so it wasn’t nice of him to use it as a joke. funny enough, he is the one bullying me.

i do think that a lot of this anger stems not just from these ‘jokes’ but from the fact that he also comments on my body weight. i wouldnt say im skinny, but im definitely on the curvier side, which makes me look bigger in size. coming from an asian family, i often get made fun of for the way i look because our standards of being pretty is to be lean and slim. he also comments on my skin, how its so dry and red from my pimples and how “boys would run away from me if they saw it.”

i know part of him says it because he’s concerned, but i can’t take it with these jokes about myself. i cant talk to him about it, because i definitely tried to and got hit with the “why are you so sensitive?”, and he’d get angry at me.

anyway, i know this isnt as bad as a lot of problems other people are facing, but i hv really been struggling with deciding on ways to cope. does anyone have any ideas? it has really taken a toll on my mental health and my only coping mechanism now is to excessively study. i’ve tried telling my boyfriend and my closest friends but they don’t really know what to say or do either. advice would be appreciated :”)

im 15 and around April i started hearing voices. it was very frequent, almost everyday. around this time i started having suicidal thoughts and would sh, i didn't know how to deal with this and was too scared to tell my parents. my best friend convinced me to tell my parents and they just brushed it off and my mother is stuck on the idea that i have some sort of "special ability" and can contact spirits. she won't take me to get it checked out. i still hear these voices often. a lot of the time i forget what they say if i dont write it down right away though so i don't think it would be schizophrenia? but there are times where i remember what they say. at times they say really rude stuff to me that put me down like calling me a slut or telling me to shut the fuck up when talking. i'm not sure what's going on but it's really starting to bother me. does anybody know what this could possibly be?

Hi, to whoever is Reading this. I think one could call me part-time nihilist. During the day and most of the time im getting along very well. I learnt to be gratefull for the things i have. I have not very much but good close friends and an active social live. I have responsibility, and cope well with it. I have much hobbies and things i like. I also have a not unrealistic dream. Its a little bit stressfull but overall its a very good life. For the most part. In the evening when its getting dark and im alone, everything changes. Suddently nothing is emotional important anymore nothing is worth Something. Just complete nihilism overwriting every memory every rational thought every dream. Altough i mostly dont feel this way during the day does it still not feel like a false statement, and it would not matter if it was the case because it will come back and make this feeling invalid. Sometimes i feel like social contact would make me feel better in this Situation, but only a friend group because one doesnt feel important enough. But in the end it does not matter, i tried it often, but the dark thoughts only will be delayed. Altough i like my melancholic parts overall sometimes its nice to steer into it, and in some way ist a "better living in the hard truth than living a simple lie" kinda thing so i can feel smarter than the rest of the world. But to lose just everything everyday is destructive. Its nothing new so i tried medication and also had therapy but it still hits the same everytime. Its not heartbreak and its not a hormone dysfunction and also not manic Depression, cause for some reason im too smart for it? Idfk, but thats what the professinal told me. But im getting along. Don't have thoughts of sui*ide because of it. Its just the same shit everytime. Why exactly I am writing here I do not know. Mabe i want to get it of my chest or im hoping to find people with the exact same Situation. Thanks for Reading.

My gf and I got in argument and she threatened to call my Psych to tell him not to give me meds because she knew it would fuck my mental health up. I have ADH, autistic and OCD. I’m on an antidepressants ADHD stimulants.

So I got an email from my psychiatrist saying that he now wants me to see him straight away to reevaluate my medication plan and mental health plan. I need these meds, they are working!

She is now deflecting and saying she did it because she is generally concerned. We had a joint appointment already booked for this week so she could have brought it up then so he could hear both sides of the story, but no she fucked me over out of spite.

She is actually a mental health nurse and they actually know of each other from their work, so he will now have to take a bias approach. He did seem perplexed why she went to him without my knowledge.

Of course there are two sides to every story so I’m seeking a bias and impartial response to this predicament. I actually feel like she has breached her ethical code as a nurse.

I’m based in Canada if that makes any difference.

I apologize if this is inappropriate to ask, I just could really use some insight. I recently broke up with my boyfriend (24M) of two years, about a month ago, since breaking up I've maintained some level of contact with him enough to gather this information at least, and more so now as a measure of keeping an protective eye on him.

Anyways whenever I see him now he's like a totally different person, he's engaging in risky/strange behavior such as getting into random peoples cars on the street, letting unhoused people into his home, having hour long calls with random older women he meets, and starting and quitting 3 jobs within a month. I'll say while we were together got up to some weird stuff sure but not to this extent. We broke up because he was getting so paranoid that I was gonna sleep with someone else, I'm talking like every interaction we had he thought I wanted to sleep with the person after we were done talking to them- I can tell you I did not ever want that- now when I talk to him he goes on these long winded rants of intense paranoia, like that the matrix is real, that everyone is either a devil or an angel, that aliens are a projection of own evils, that his shadow is a real person separate from himself. This will go on for about an hour uninterrupted, bouncing quickly between these theories, kinda talking to me kinda talking to himself. every now and then he'll pause and put a finger to his mouth as if to hush something. I'm always clearly uncomfortable and don't really know how to navigate being around him when it's like this- I mean its suddenly very apparent that something is not right, this is not the same person I have been with, I'm trying to adjust or figure out if he needs extra help.

which I guess is my question too, if this man has a therapist already but has said that she's not a very good therapist, should I tell his parents all this information? I don't feel like I would be right to cut contact with him as he has self harmed before and is at a point where I would be nervous to do that. And for my own sake, I know I can't ask for a diagnosis or anything, but has anyone experienced anything like this before and have some insight as to what might be going on?

Hi everyone! I'm trying to continue my mental health and wellness journey through resources like books, videos, and first-hand accounts/advice. I've seen a therapist and while unable to right now, I want to continue trying to unpack and having a happier day to day!

I'm in my late twenties now, and since I was about 12 I've had passively suicidal thoughts. I always looked at suicide as a relief/comfort from stress and fear, and I believe in my adult life it has seriously affected my ability to be confident in hobbies and relationships. It's difficult to verbalize, but I worry that defaulting to 'one day it will all be over and I'll be okay then' stunted my ability to handle complicated situations and look for ways to enjoy life and make myself happy.

My question is, does anyone have any resources they'd be willing to share on how to deal with changing suicidal ideation/passive suicidal thinking after so long of making it the norm? Thank you for the time and help, it is so deeply appreciated!

I'm 19. It's 2AM and I can't sleep. Something have been going on with me for last couple of months. I've been in this state before but never for so long and so deep. I have a lot of friends, I've never complained about my looks or anything. It all started when I wasn't allowed to take Polish 'matura' exam that's needed for college at the end of High School. It was back in April. I was able to improve my grades but now I need to wait another year to take it. Then, by the end of June i started my summer job. I was living alone, in a new place, surrounded by strangers. I couldn't sleep, I felt bad. Sometimes I had to drink some booze just to get some sleep but I fought through it hoping that it will all end when I get back home but it didn't. When I got back home in September I've met a girl. She made me feel better. Went out on a few dates but she never felt anything unlike me. I've never fell for someone like this. We texted a lot, we've had a lot in common. She was someone I couldn't even dream of. After her birthday she started to distancing herself from me. My parents have financial problems. Tomorrow I'm starting to work. Now I'm alone, lying on my bed trying not to think about anything but ending thinking about everything at the same time. Almost all my friends are in collage. We meet sometimes but not so often. Ever since April I've been sad. Now I also feel extremely lonely.

Types of Bipolar states?

Hey, so my boyfriend has bipolar type 1 and from what I’ve read online, he seems to be in a mixed state. He keeps telling me he’s not, that he knows what a mixed state is, because he’s had them before and they’re worse, but can anyone give me a run down of the states? Is he just not realizing he’s in a mixed state ? Like has he completely checked out and will only realize he was once he crashes? How do I deal with someone in a mixed state that has anger and resentment towards me over alot of small things that were solved, but is now bringing them up as if they were never solved and we never discussed them. He brings things up that I’ve already apologized for months ago, and understood where he was coming from and haven’t done any of those things since, but now it’s on his mind along with other minor mistakes. He’s hard to get along with, not my words, his own. He’s never around now, he goes from really loving me one moment and then full blown hating me and disrespecting me for the rest of the day and telling me he hates me and doesn’t want to be with me. Like what is this? Also, please no comments just stating I need to leave him. I’m just genuinely curious and really do want to try my best to be there for him as much as I can, but if I ask him, so I can understand better, he’s already told me in the past and I just didn’t care or listen. But it’s like, you don’t really realize what it’ll be like until it happens. As much as I read up on it in the beginning, I couldn’t grasp it until it was right in front of my face. Also he stated that his mood now is because I stressed him out too much and he told me many times and I never listened. I have bpd. I try my best to not stress him out. I also have severe abandonment issues and trust issues at first. He knew this. I’m also slightly petulant. The worst part is that I’m so stressed, trying to deal with this because I really do love this guy, and I accept all of him, even the flaws, I’ll stick with him through it all. But it feels like my flaws are something that needs to be punished. What do I do?

So for at least a couple of years I've always had these though that I know are irrational but I'm still so scared of, I always think that all my friends, especially my close one, aren't really my friend and just want to make fun of me. I know it's stupid but I can't stop thinking about it and stressing over it. I've lost count of how Many I asked for reassurance but I don't believe them even tho they have no reason to lie. I don't really consider it an addiction but I'm smoking weed a lot more then I used to just to sleep and silence those thoughts. It's more intense since my closest friend that I considered like a sister decided to ghost for apparently no reason. So I just wanted to know how to cope with it, and what could it be. I've always had difficulty trusting, taking criticism or confide in others.

I wanted to start off by saying that i do not have enough money for a therapist and definetely not enough to go regularly so there’s that.

I just hate myself so much, i can’t even explain or express myself properly. I just hate everything from my physicality to my soul. I just am so full of contradictions, I feel like my body is doing the opposite of what i am telling it to do. I am unable to maintain my fucking household, not because I don’t have the energy to but because i just am fucking manually impaired or some shit. I cant fucking learn for my engineering degree because i have a trauma. I can’t do anything that would benefit me or change me as a person. And the only thing i am yearning for is change. My body keeps up telling me this most fucked up evil shit and I don’t know if this is me or is this just an intrusion, or are the intrusions becoming me slowly. I just fucking can’t with this shit anymore. I’m disappointing everyone, I’m acting like a lost child because my mind feels constantly clouded and numbed and i am a grown ass adult. I cant keep my mind sharp for just one fucking second. I become infatuated in people but then i fucking scare them off because i feel like i just radiate my inner negativity if you decide to dig below my open and cheerful shell i create around myself. I feel like my hatred for myself is so deeply engraved in me that it became a permanent part od myself. How can i do something about that?

I (36f) have been with my husband (38m) for 13 years. We have had a very turbulent and tumultuous relationship for the entirety of these years. Since the beginning it has been hot and heavy in attraction and a fantastic sex life, but the issues have also been very heavy: emotional abuse on both sides, physical abuse on his side, and cheating on both sides. He is also very controlling and mean. We both have called each other names in the past, but I have been working on it and refuse to be that person again. The most recent time I name called was in August when he called me a bitch and asshole and I reacted with calling him a piece of shit. As of lately (past two weeks) he has called me: slut, whore, bitch, blow up doll, and body shamed me.

Today he told me he hated me and that I’m a terrible person. The reason he is so upset is I have been upset of how he has been treating me the past few weeks and brought it up to him. Now he is twisting everything telling me that I’m the problem and I’m not perfect and bringing up everything I have ever done to piss him off.

He is also very controlling. I only wear a little foundation and mascara as makeup and he doesn’t like if I wear it when he isn’t around. I’m also not allowed to dress up or wear earrings. No cleavage. No leggings. Nothing tight at all. The bar constantly raises. He says I’m only trying to get attention and that I’m a slut who wants to be seen. I wear baggy tshirts and jeans most of the time. Or baggy sweaters.

We have 4 kids. Two together. We have a business together. We just bought our dream house together that I’m not leaving and he already made it clear he isn’t either. I have a master’s degree. I’m a business owner. How did I get here? I’m a strong independent woman but so fucking weak. Why can’t I let him go? Why can’t I choose me? Why is it so hard to hate him? I should be so turned off by him but all I do is get jealous thinking about him being with someone else. When he is courting, he lays on the charm so thick. We were separated for almost a year in 2020 and he had so many women after him it made me jealous enough to come back. I was free and I came back? Why am I so weak?

I know this whole post is riddled with grammatical errors. I am educated, not that it matters. I also have ADHD. Long, ranting, run-on sentences are my way of release. Reddit isn’t being cooperative with going back in the post to edit.

I'm currently going through a lot right now, I just moved away from my second house recently and now everything in my life has completely gone to shi. My new school sucks, I don't really like any of my friends, I'm incredibly stressed and my mind has been set into overdrive. I have autism, as well as a few other small issues that don't pose a big challenge in my life.

Right now, my biggest challenge is dealing with dissociation and my identity. I have dissociative episodes quite frequently, which makes my life in school so much harder. I've gotten into trouble before because I almost missed an entire flippin' class due to it. I'm trying my best to communicate with my school to inform them that these things may happen to me and what they can do to help me but even with this support, it doesn't stop it from happening, does it?

There are times where I am just not me, I am almost never me, I don't know who 'I' am. All I see myself as is in parts, there's 'me', there's part of me and other parts of me, there is no full me. Sometimes it's like I'm possessed by a different me, which is an easy way to describe it. Everything changes in those moments, my attitude, my body language, the way my face rests, how I behave age-wise, it's like I've switched to a whole other damn preset. Worst part, I'm not in control. Even if I'm spectating the moment from the back of my mind I can't say or do anything I want to until I snap out of it.

I might forget what happens in those moments as well, which is even scarier, then I can't even try and explain anything if someone notices me acting strangely, I wouldn't even know it happened.

I hate having to explain these things after, like if someone asks me why I replied to the name Kaitlynn, my name isn't Kaitlynn, I don't know what happened in those moments. I feel confused and disoriented, panicked, anxious, I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore.

What's even worse is that I feel absolutely insane trying to explain this, I can't tell all of this to my classmates if something happens, what'll they think? They'll think I'm a flippin schizophrenic or that I've got the latest disorder from TikTok, I don't freaking know! I can trust my teachers to an extent at least, even though it's a little hard to do so. I still feel crazy, even though deep down I know that I'm genuinely struggling and that I need to work through it little by little, I'm not a physcho, a crazed schizophrenic or anything like that and I'm still having a hard time digesting that.

These struggles aren't something I see people often experience, it's different when you know everyone experiences it but I don't see people being practically possessed by parts of themselves very often. (Gosh I feel crazy again just saying it)

I'd love for someone in my life to have a similar struggle to me, just so we can relate to it and talk about it freely without having to worry about being alone but sometimes we just don't have those people in our lives yet.

I hope this stops, I hope this is just a passing issue and will eventually go away like it was never there but I doubt it. I'm doing all that I can at the moment, I'm going to therapy and trying my best to use the coping mechanisms that my therapist recommends me. I'm going to talk about this issue with her soon but for now, I just want to get it all off my chest.

I'm still left wondering though, what on earth is wrong with me? Why does this happen? How can I stop it or will it just go away on it's own? How do I even get help for this? Is this even something than can be treated? Is it normal? I have so many questions but minimal answers, I'd appreciate any answers or opinions from whoever is reading this, it'd help a lot just to get some outside input.