/r/calmhands
r/calmhands is a community based around kicking the habit of kicking compulsive habits such as nail biting and nail picking. The goal of the sub is for you to be able to share resources, photos, and accountability with a lovely community that wants to do the same. Together we got this!
Hi and welcome to r/calmhands a place where people go if they want to learn to be calmer in order to stop skin picking, nail biting, hair pulling or other nervous habits they have by examining what gets them started in the first place, trying to stop and forgiving yourself when you give in.
All healing contributions are welcome! Anger expressed at other users, off topic jokes that don't directly relate to healing, posts that are negative that don't directly relate to getting better will not be tolerated.
Here are some guidelines for this subreddit:
1)Please Block and Report trolls. It will not be tolerated.
2)Please write the words "trigger warning" or "picture trigger warning" if you are going to write graphic and descriptive details about your habit or post a graphic picture. (Possible flairs coming soon).
3)Please post your story about how you developed the habit you have and if there are any times you remember stopping yourself. You are brave for posting.
You are a human being and you are beautiful since you are alive. Everyone has weak points and makes mistakes but you can overcome them! Even with red spots, bald spots and bitten nails you are beautiful and you can do amazing things with your body!
Please post your experience with telling others about your habit, as some habits like nail biting are more “mainstream” than others like skin picking. A lot of these habits hold power because they are done in secret. Remember the people who care about you should listen if you find a good time to tell them and ask them to listen and not comment. Hopefully they will give you a hug too.
Related Communities
Compulsive Skin Picking - A forum focused on a form of OCD called Compulsive Skin Picking.
Trichsters - A forum focused on trichotillomania, or compulsive hair-pulling.
Trichotillomania - A forum focused on trichotillomania, or compulsive hair-pulling.
OCD - A forum for people with any type of OCD.
Anxiety - A forum for anxious people
FAQ*
- Why did you guys start this community?
/r/Calmhands is a community to be able to connect with other people who have the same issues you may have. We believe that it’s easier to stop a bad habit when you’re got a group to help support you along the way. Through support each other our goal is to help stop bad habits whether it’s nail biting, skin picking, hair pulling, etc.
- What are body repetitive behaviors?
Well, there are a lot. Trichotillomania and dermatillomania to name a few. Those include things like cheek biting, skin picking, nail biting, etc. These are related to OCD but are not OCD and so typically require a different type of treatment.
- Well if it isn’t OCD but related, what treatment will help?
Well there are a ton of different treatments. Things like cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical therapy, hypnosis, NAC amino acid, etc. Here in the /r/calmhands community we focus on being your cheerleaders and the best support group we can be.
- I feel I need more help, where can I get that?
Well we have some for you. Check out our addition resosources section below, it’s an ever growing list that anyone and everyone is welcome to message the mods to help expand. In the list below each resource will be described in a bit more detail.
Additional Resources
The TLC Foundation for Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (www.BFRB.org) is the major US organization that funds research for a cure, hosts training sessions for treatment professionals, and provides support for the community. They also host an annual conference and have a listing of hair salons and therapists on their website. It was started in the 90s by a hair puller, Christina Pearson.
Heart & Soul Academy (https://hasacademy.org/) - Christina Pearson now runs Heart & Soul. She has focused more on integrative health strategies and how they can help us all heal. They hold an annual retreat.
www.CanadianBFRB.org is a Canadian-based org primarily focused on building awareness and supporting the community. Their blog has many useful tips. This is volunteer run. Please reach out if you want to help them!
www.PickingMe.org is a foundation started by a compulsive skin picker for compulsive skin pickers. Their goal is to build awareness through outreach to treatment professionals. They also provide support to support groups.
/r/calmhands
55,700 Subscribers
Has anyone ever had parenchyma on several fingers at once?
This is super painful and of course there is so much to do this time of year, wrapping presents, cooking food, etc. The skin around my nails has always cracked badly when we start using heat in the winter. This year I got several cracks at once and nothing was allowing them to heal. Then I started noticing the pain around the sides of the nails and a couple appear swollen and have lifting nails if that makes sense. It hurts to press those fingers on anything. I’ve been doing antibiotic ointment and bandaids but just discovered I’m supposed to be soaking several times daily. One of my fingertips has been peeling like an onion and that’s not even the worst one.
From reading, I’m guessing I have a more chronic case vs. the acute ones I’ve read about here that mostly involved one finger becoming dramatically worse quickly. Or maybe it’s possible to have a few fingers all get worse, I sure hope not. I may have to hit an urgent care tomorrow before everything basically shuts down for a couple days.
06:46 UTC
Padded/discolored skin below nails
Hi all, I've been a nail and skin biter for as long as I can remember. I'm on a good streak (1 week) and was wondering if anyone has suggestions for how to deal with the padded skin I have below my nails (above the first knuckle). I'm currently using Burt's Bees Lemon Butter Cuticle Cream and Burt's Bees Honey & Grapeseed Hand Cream any time I feel like biting or notice the skin has gotten dry, which helps me stop biting. But how can I reduce the swelling and red discoloration of the skin on this part of my fingers? Are there product or process recommendations? Anything is appreciated—thank you.
18:04 UTC
Fingers got mild infection from a cut, i now have a hole where my nail bed is growing. How will this play out?
So i cut my finger a month and a bit ago. It got infected (wasnt bad, didnt even realize) and then another finger got infected from it.
Went on antibiotics for 2 weeks and it fixed it all.
However now the nails on the two fingers have holes in the middle of the nail bed. With healthy nail on either side growing.
It just appears that there is no new nail growing where the hole is (i assume where the infection damaged the nail bed).
How will this progress? will it just continue to grow and ill had a big gap in the middle of my nail?
Will a healthy nail ever regrow in that area?
21:04 UTC
Keep pressing my nails down. How to stop?
Any suggestions how to stop this? Getting annoyed by it. Generating callus
05:52 UTC