Does anybody punch themselves until they bruise (on their arm etc) as a form of SH?

4 MONTHS CLEAN. THANK YOU LORD!

Pretty much what the title says, I always seem to pick at scabs or pop burn blisters without even realizing it and I know that's really not good for healing. So are there any tips or tricks you guys use to not do that?

I just realized that I ruined my 2 year streak being clean but I also realize I did it on the same day I did last time. Every damn month I felt the same yet refused to do it until the past 2 weeks. Since then I’ve just repeatedly been cutting myself on the same places. Some of them have cracked skin around it but I think it’s just them healing (well at least trying to) Tbh this is less of a rant/vent and more of me asking what the hell is going on.

(I would go to therapy but I’m still in school and I don’t want to miss any of it)

two days ago as much as i hate to admit it i got drunk and purposefully cut to deep fat because i knew that i would need stitches (i had no medical supplies in my house, i usually do). i had cut to fat before but i felt like needing medical attention was a fucked up self harm milestone i wanted to hit, so i did it on purpose.

i told my flatmate (she knows about my sh and wants me to tell her when things like that happen) and she helped me go to A&E. i felt so guilty having her go through so much trouble to go with me in the middle of the night.

i waited for hours to be seen only to get glued by a rude doctor who made weird comments. after i got glued the doctor left the room for a bit and i passed out and fell out of my chair and hit my head. at this point my friend was feeling nauseous because of the goriness and general vibe of being in a hospital so she was sat in the corner vomiting. i felt so bad i made her go through that.

i was discharged at about 3am after the doctor said more insensitive things and i went home. the next day in the afternoon i realised the cut split open again and i needed to go back to get actual stitches. i called my friend again who called an uber and came with me again (i seriously don’t know what i would do without her she’s been nothing but kind to me). i waited for around 3 hours again to be seen and this time a nice doctor told me i would get staples.

i got local anaesthetic (i asked for it) because he would have to vigorously clean it because of the blood clots and glue residue. i’m so glad i got the anaesthetic because i heard rough scrubbing (i didn’t look because i was scared i was going to throw up/pass out). my friend held my hand the whole time and i got about 12 staples to close me up and i didn’t feel any of it.

in the end i didn’t feel validated. getting this ‘achievement’ didn’t feel good at all. all i felt was guilt and shame. i feel like a freak. i’m glad i got the staples though because i don’t want a huge scar looking at me everyday reminding me of this day. although i feel horrible for making the cut in the first place i’m proud that i actually went to get myself taken care of and reached out for help instead of dealing with it alone.

what i’m trying to say is cutting deeper probably won’t give you the satisfaction or validation you hope for. i feel the same after all of this happened so i could have saved myself and my friend the trouble. i also want to say that reaching out to someone to get help is worth it and it makes everything so much easier, to have someone there with you holding your hand and making you laugh while you get stapled. this is all so cheesy LMAO

i’m going to actually try and get clean now!

As a minor under the legal age of 14, I have participated several times in SH. i don’t know why. I’m really just bored and have nothing better to do lol. I love myself a lot (i have good grades and an average face) and i tell others I think i’m perfect. Im not suffering from anything I know of. Eg: depression, Stress, Anxiety etc. I’m actually pretty happy 24/7. I have constant mood swings tho but I think it’s just my hormones lol. i’m in therapy bcs of it so i’ve just been talking abt my abusive (kinda, but mostly childish and breaks things in the house) father but that wouldn’t be why i cut myself. Yes, my father is the only stressor in my life but that cannot be it. I kinda think blood is fun ig but i would never (on god) hurt someone. I get excited when i bleed but idk why. It’s kinda freaking me out a little. I sound like a 2018 gacha kid but I seriously don’t understand why i like blood so much. Not on other people, naturally, but on myself. as I type this out I cannot explain to you how cringy this makes me feel but i’m being fr. anyone care to psycho analyse me or smt?

edit: it’s 3:00 am and i’m tired don’t judge the poor writing

I have an appointment with my doctor Monday to talk about how it’s going now. Safe to say it’s going shit. Been on the bridge quite some times sitting on the edge. I also SH at the bridge and I think about jumping off, police have been called numerous times. My job is also suffering because of it. And I made a deal with myself, if I have to quit/ find another job I’m committing self delete. I don’t have a specific plan set, but I have prepared a note in my phone. My mom asked if being admitted somewhere could be an option, because it’s not going any better. I just don’t know, sometimes I feel like it would be better if it all ended

i sort of forgot i was ever a self harmer for like the past year or so. but my app says i've only been 3 months free but i don't remember the last time i did it. i've been depressed since i was 14 until last year, and i sort of got so busy and completely forgot about it? i'd see the scars and just not think of it at all, as if it was never there to begin with. no urges or fear of people seeing them either.

but for the past couple months i can tell i'm falling into depression again and i can see the signs, and yet i can't really pinpoint when it started but it's been a slow process, so slow i didn't even realise it was happening.

and the urges are back again. my scars haven;t faded but my older ones have lost their discolouration. and it got be thinking about how maybe i just need to see physical proof of my mental suffering because in all other aspects, i'm doing okay. i've got great grades at college. i only have a couple of close friends who are understanding about my mental problems so my social life has been the same.

i think being depressed for so long helped me at getting better at dealing with it. i have better coping mechanisms now. or maybe it's the fact that i'm getting older and i'll have to come out and deal with the repercussions sooner or later, which in comparison to my mental state, feels much more massive.

either way it sucks and i know i'm depressed and i think i just want to see signs. just so i can validate my own suffering. thinking about it, which sounds silly because i really create my own problems here.

Is it okay when im cutting and when im about to make another cut my hand is starting shaking really bad?

Hi all, I'm curious about your stories of what specifically triggered you to start self-harming. Especially for the ones that are also mid-20s. I feel so "childish" of starting sh when I was 24....

I literally do it everyday,since I was 8 years old (I’m 15 now) I’ve been doing it, I get clean for a few months then it just comes back but this past month it’s been worse, I literally don’t even have any space on my wrist anymore, I tried to commit suicide with sleeping gummies (it’s the only thing I’m allowed to take) but I just started shaking and slept for 12 hours, it’s my second time trying and I just won’t die I don’t know how much I’m supposed to take, I don’t even know if I want to die I just feel so hopeless right now, why doesn’t my mom care or even notice? she knows I cut myself why wont she talk to me? I told her I was gonna kill myself during an argument but she just forgot about it… I’m gonna try again and hope it finally works

I’ve gone through years of therapy, I understand coping skills, yet everything failed me tonight and i feel guilty and terrible for allowing myself to do this to myself. I don’t think i’m in a situation where i will try to off myself because of my ego….but so many emotions came forward. I just felt so useless and like a waste of space. I couldn’t breathe. I still feel like a waste of space. All of my years of trauma socked me in the face after years of suppressing my emotions. Along with a betrayal of trust in a ex partner which triggered it all. This is the worst i’ve felt in years and it was just so overwhelming. I’m scared i won’t be able to stop again. I almost forgot how it felt, and i had a huge brain rush and was able to ground myself. I haven’t felt this urge so strongly in years and I’m scared this will lead me down a bad path. I’m a grown adult with full time job, i feel like this will jeopardize everything. I don’t have good insurance and the money to cover inpatient or consistent therapy. I don’t feel like i have the time to work through this. I feel trapped. I feel scared and I just want to disappear.

I reached dermis for the first time and I'm scared, I've always only done epidermis cuts ( baby cuts, cat scratches ) but now I've reached dermis ( Styros ) and I'm scared I'm just going to go deeper and deeper for that satisfaction and I'll reach fat or even muscle at some point. I've been fine with epidermis cuts for years and now thst I've reached dermis a few times its the only thing that satisfys me, what do I do?

im really wanting to cut myself, i know i shouldnt, though. :'/

This might sound weird but I think the part I dislike the most is how it sounds. I have only given myself scratches but when I do it sounds like quiet, lower frequency version of cutting a piece of paper, if that makes sense?

please tell me itll still disappear i hate it so much i need it to be gone idk why but it scarred but please tell me it'll still disappear people can see it and i dont want that im disgusting i look like an attention seeker

I’m at the point where I just get frustrated or upset and just slash at my arms. I don’t know why I even do this. I just don’t know how else to handle these emotions. Just needed to vent. Sorry.

Im just so mad w ppl in dif sh communities posting their bean or even muscle cuts and saying “small cuts” like bro WTF? Ik that it can be small for u but I bet we all know how deep that is and that it’s not just a minor cut?????

Its just so obvious on how bad they want to show off their cuts and feel superior by comparing w others who cant even do a “small” cut. Cant we just stop that???? It’s triggering like hell

This is literally my last resort because I tried everything else, I texted everyone I could, called the people I can, no one responded, I even tried calling/texting people that don’t give a shit about me because I don’t know what to do, and no one picked up or answered because I started at 2:00 AM and most of them wouldn’t answer if it was day time anyways. I then tried a crisis line and they basically told me I should go to sleep and stop talking to them so I stopped and it was completely unhelpful. Basically what happened is I kind of had an episode, by that I mean I cut all over my thighs and then I felt so euphoric (and also I was drunk) that I did it on my arms. A lot. And one of the cuts is to beans. There is NO way that I can make any excuses for how it happened. There is literally no excuse it’s so obvious that it’s self harm. My mom doesn’t know but she might know soon and it will seriously fuck up my life. I just don’t know what to do. I’m so tired and I feel so sick. I have no one to talk to and once my mom finds out my life will be ruined. I’m probably rambling but my head hurts so bad from being so drunk and losing blood and I just don’t know what to do. I also feel super dizzy. This is super long and no one will probably respond but if someone sees this and has any advice or questions please let me know. I’m so desperate I can’t believe I’m on Reddit right now.

Like, in reality the self harm I actually do is "cat scratches" depth cuts, nothing dangerous. I don't actually want to seriously injure myself, and yet I always get the urge to. When I see the big toothy saw I get the urge to press it into and drag it through my skin. When using a power drill I get an urge to just press it into my stomach and pull the throttle.

I don't actually, genuinely want to do these things and generally respond to these thoughts with "no, why the fuck would I do that", and yet still, even though I know I don't want to actually do it, there's still a part of my brain that tells me things like "ram your hand into the hotend" whenever I 3d print, as well as lots of other things I absolutely should not do to myself.

I don't know why my brain is like this, though if anyone has useful insight that would be appreciated. I don't know why I'm talking about this I guess I just have been getting an increasing amount of urges to do really stupid stuff, I really really want to stick my hand into the printer hotend and become infused with PLA right now and I guess I just needed to vent somewhere to get these thoughts out without actually acting on them.

I’m a sober alcoholic who used to rely heavily on alcohol to cope with even the most minor negative emotions. When I was in hs, before I started drinking, I used to cut a lot when I was in emotional pain. Then when I discovered alcohol, that took over as the coping strategy. Now that I’ve been sober for almost a year, I’ve found myself cutting again every once in a while when the emotional pain gets strong, instead of relapsing w/ booze… I’m getting all the same feelings of release in the moment, then shame the next day, just like when I would drink. Clearly I have a problem w/ additive behaviors. 😅 Anyone else experience anything like this?

Does anyone else prevent themselves from harming by purposely procrastinating? What I mean is I tell myself I’m going to harm after _____ then after that to prevent myself from doing it I just keep procrastinating it like homework. Always doing something else first then telling myself I’ll do it after this. Then eventually I don’t have time to harm or I lost the urge to. It’s a strange but helpful way I’ve coped.

Vivo en Argentina, y hace un calor bárbaro (30 grados por estas epocas) y la escuela es un sauna, tengo los brazos cortados y no quiero llevar manga corta, el director de la escuela me esta obligando a que lleve manga corta, yo no quiero, me da miedo, si se enteran le avisaran a mi mamá y no quiero saber que va a pasar Yo les digo que no tengo calor (y la verdad es que no tengo calor y casi no sudo) y que no estoy incumpliendo ninguna norma de la escuela, pero le da igual, quiere ver a mi mamá para hablar de eso. Mi ma no sabe que me autoleciono, solo lo sabe mi mejor amiga, se lo conté ayer porque insistio, y la verdad es que me siento horrible, no se que hacer, además mis cicatrices son muy notorias. Hay alguna manera de ocultarlas?

I know its not sh but i really need someone rn someone please dm

someone REALLY had the nerve to call me a "human cutting board" at school, i was legit just trying to open my locker bro😭🙏

The last two weeks were so hard, and honestly, I don't feel any joy in this milestone. I don't know why I worked so hard and I still feel miserable.

I wish that it was just some excuse. But it’s not. Sh is genuinely the only thing that brings me out of depressive episodes and I hate it. I spend the entire day trying to fight the urges and it’s absolutely horrible and then I finally give in and my head is quiet and I feel genuinely better. I even tried talking to my friend about what was wrong and then that didn’t help so I just cut instead and it did help. It’s so fucked up and I don’t like that I have to do this but the depressive episodes are so unbearable without it, and yeah sometimes I get carried away but it’s never close to dangerous so I don’t really have a reason to stop. I hate that I don’t. But I don’t.

Hey so ive been an active, you-know-whay for about 4 years, started off cat scratches moved to very minimal but skin-marking styros and in recent time due to picking up the habit mire frequently again, have gone to slightly deeper styros. I have small both light and dark keloids.

Problem is, ive been clean for i think a month or two? Im not sure havent been counting. And my scars are fully healed. But i still have pain whenever i rub, ir lightly scratch at them. Is that normal? I. Dont understand why my keloids are still a little painful despite having healed. Did i fuck up something or ..what? I just need a logical reason?

after weight lifting/strength training, usually my leg muscles, arm muscles and abs hurt for a few days and they kinda really hurt. and I get to feel the pain everywhere without sh.

so.. I hope this helps some of you?

I used to cut a lot just for the aspect of seeing myself bleed. I do not know if this is valid and I just feel like an ass :(

Am I weird?