Me 17F dated a guy since I was 13 I had just turned 13 a week ago, he was 16 when we first met I didn’t wanna date him but he came to me and I was just like I guess the first day we hang out it was okay he was drinking Infront of me and offered and I declined, the 2 day we hangout he tried to pull down my shirt and I kept trying to hold it up telling him no not rn pls (I’ve never been sexual or done sexual things with someone) later he kept trying to pull it down and he was successful and I just took it I didn’t know how to feel at all I just kept going with it, he put my hand on his thing and I kept saying no no but again he was successful and I was just looking at him he was just enjoying the moment. Then that’s when he actually unbuckled his pants and pull them down and he made me do something I did not want to do I kept saying no not rn please not right now but he kept saying cmon and putting my head down and I just took it, we started dating after this and I just brushed it off maybe this is what bf and gfs do yes they do these things but not like this I wasn’t ready and he knew that he took advantage and we were dating for 4 years i am 17 now he is 20 and I don’t know how to tell my mom this im pretty sure she’d get arrested as well for letting me date an older person please help me.

well. im tryin to come to terms with everything that has happened in my life. going to make some big decisions today. i feel in my gut its whats best for me. my heart doesnt like it. but ik it'll thank me later. i need to get back to healing.

like I'm some sort of miracle child or something? people expect you to have it all figured out. If I question anything or have a problem understanding it, it's always fuck this guy, he's dumb af. It's like WTF BRO? Can I at least figure shit out first. WHY DO PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO BE EINSTIEN OR SOMETHING? It's really irritating. To say the least. I am a normal human being just like everybody else out there.

I am young(20M), I know, I need to be patient because love doesn't come right away when you want it, I know, but fuck, I can't, I can't deal with this, it's only been a year since I had a relationship but it ended like shit, making me feel worthless and almost tearing apart my friendships from me and destroying myself. I learnt to love myself more, to be alone, to be kind to myself, fuck I learnt all of those things you'd see in a hopecore tik tok, and it worked for some time, but right here and right now, I don't need to be with myself, or with my friends(I love them but this is not the problem), I need love, I need someone close to tell me that they love me, I need someone who I can hug whenever I want, or someone who wants to hug me all day, someone to be intimate with, but I feel like I could never reach that, I feel like people would only want to be with me out of pity, I'm not attractive, I have 0 social awareness and I'm introverted asf, also, if you didn't figure it out yet, I'm pretty insecure about myself and relationships in general. I've tried dating apps, but because I live somewhere where there isn't much people in this apps, I didn't even have a match that grew into a date, I could try and approach someone I find attractive, but I'm not good at speaking with other people, so I'm afraid that wouldn't go out well too. I don't know what to do with this crippling fear of being alone forever, all the people in my enviroment are in a good relationship, and it fucking burns me inside feeling jealous of them, I want to love, love intensely, I want someone to prove me wrong, to prove I can be loved without being some kind of charity act, and every day, this feeling is more intense, and it doesn't matter what I do, I can't stop it, I really can't, and all I can do is cry about it.

TRIGGER WARNING USE OF EDUCATIONAL RESTRIATNS

I am diagiosis with NVLD , NF-1 and was found to likely have ADHD and ODD at 9

Its been years since I graduated but I feel like I was a very bad and scary student at time

I screemed in the Halls I kicked I tried to destroy school property I tauted and threaten students and staff screaming. I even accused an EA of excessive force for restraining me during one of my (what they termed ) "tempers tantrums.:

the school claim the Problams was my parents didn't do proper corretion to control me. My principal in 3rd wrote letter explaining to my parents that they needed to control me or my life would be very dire as a teenager In grade 7 my parent and the elementary school multially gave up on each other

in a month time at 13 I did all of the following stuff that just seems so terrible in an moth and was put on home school for a few year (its redacted records of me in school) :

The student   sat down and began working on his math. He was asked to rewrite a section of his math because it was not legible .( He was told he could tell EA  what the numbers were and EA would scribe forfor him) 

He pushed his work across the table and put his feet up on the desk and refused to do anything. He was asked to put his feet on the floor which he did. The student   was reminded of the school's expectations and the consequences should he not meet them. He began to work on his math, but pushed it away again. He was given the yellow card.

The student and EA met outside the classroom. The student was still somewhat argumentative. He was given his choices again and decided to come into the class room and work. He sat down and again pushed his work aside saying he didn't care and he didn't want to work. 

The student  was told here were no more chances as he had already received his yellow card and he was in the school to do work. The Student picked up the red card and said, "This is my decision and you can't make me do my work."  The EA  stood up and told the student  he will be responsible for his decision

and his parents will be called. EA then left the L.A. room and informed Female teacher  the Student became very upset when he realized what was going to happen. He started saying he was only joking. He was told it was not a joking matter. He had many chances to turn things around and now must face the consequences.

The student  was then told he could come back tomorrow and be more serious about his work, but for now he must go home. Female teacher and EA  went toward the door telling The student  he needed to get his coat and boots and his Father would meet him outside. the student began to cry and yell, kicking the walls as EA tried to get him outside.

 The principle  intervened and tried to calm the student down but to no avail. EA went to student s locker to get the students 's coat and boots. Female teacher restrained  the student who in the meantime continued kicking the walls and the glass blocks around the office and then tried to kick female teacher   The Student was led toward the main door.

He was still refusing to leave. When he saw his Father, he got away from EA and ran up the stairs. EA went out and told Father  what was happening. EA  and  father returned to the school where principal and female had student somewhat calmed down. The student s till refused to leave and his father took him by the arm and led him outside. During this time the student  continued to yell at his father as they left.

Event two 

EA saw the student  walking down the hall. As soon as the student saw him,he turned and ran away. EA called out to the student  to stop. The student  tried to hide behind a door. EA  talked to the student about his decisions and how he was starting the day. The student  was very argumentative. EA took him to his locker. EA  asked the student to take out his books and papers to organize during work period. the student refused. 

EA  eventually convinced the student to bring all his books and papers to class. In the L.A. room  the student continued to be uncooperative. 

The student told EA  he did not want to do any work and would rather go home. EA said "Fine," and started to take the student to his locker. 

On the way to his locker the student  made a motion to hit EA  the student  was told his behaviour was not acceptable and his choice to go home was probably a good one.  The student  ran back to the L.A. Room.the student was told he had to decide to behave and start working or he would go home. 

The student  slammed his fist on the desk, kicked his chair over. EA told the student  it was home time. They went back to his locker. 

The student  continued to yell at EA the whole time. EA opened the locker. The student continued yelling, then threw the locker door open, hitting another student. The student  was asked to apologize to the student. Instead  the student told the student to go to hell. 

The Student a down the hall. Male teacher  caught  the student at the end of the hall and brought him back to the L.A. room. EA , and female teacher took the student  into the L.A. office so he wouldn't disturb other students. 

The students  tantrum escalated. Female teacher  tried to call Father but the line was busy. She tried for 30 minutes. 

During this time student  continued kicking and screaming and had to be restrained. Female  teacher was able to contact Mother y and she came to the school to take student  home.

Event 3 in which I bite an EA

In the hall on the way to the L.A. room, the student asked EA  what he was doing today. When the student was told it was a work period he refused to go saying it was stupid and a waste of his time.

The student  continued to argue like this until EA told him if he felt this strongly about work period he could go home and not have a work period. The student stood up , pointed is finger at EA  and yelled, "You're wasting my time."

Female teacher could hear the yelling as she was coming up the stairs and.came in to see what was wrong. The Student quite yelling but continued to refuse to do anything. The student  told him if he didn't want to work he could phone his Dad to come and get him and could stay home for the rest of the day. the student agreed and went to phone his Dad. 

He was very calm during this whole time. Father  told student to start walking and he would pick him up. The student then decided he didn't want to leave. He wanted to stay but he wouldn't do any work.

Female teacher his I.E.P. could be revised so he didn't have to come to school until after work period. He didn't want that either and began screaming.

Female teacher sent EA to get his coat etc. the student had a major tantrum. He tried to punch the window but couldn't' reach it because of the desk. He then started knocking books and papers off the table, he kicked the filing cabinet and starting swinging his fists.

At this point EA  restrained him. The student bit the EA in the forearm. Female teacher  went to get princpal . He came up to wait until father  arrived.

After this I was placed on home schooling for the rest of the year and part time for grade 9-10. I still continued to have this issue I was disrubive and would get trigger to bigger issues at times that were while below my grade level. Things got better with less oversight and I never been arrested or done crimes but I can still get into temper tantrum mode when I get when I find as strange rules pushed on me (like not be able to take a hand basket out of the store set me off big time last year)

I really worry that I might just be a bad person and worry for all the people I impacted over the years

Even thought its been years I still feel the need to make it right

I just posting because I want to talk about it but I have few friend and worry it would be burden on them plus its embracing to say "at 13 I bit a man"

That's literally it .. I'm so tired of this and I'm willing to do anything to leave . I just don't have a job for now .. my life feels like it hasn't started yet ,and I don't know how to live anymore.. my life is empty and I feel like day by day I'm just existing..

I just recently got my first job. It’s at an office supply store at the print area. Every single day I wake up with anxiety. I have been there for about 5 days and I’m still training. I am so worried that I won’t remember anything. I’m worried that they’ll just stop helping me one day when I’m not ready. I just can not stop worrying, even on my days off. It’s getting frustrating. I just want to be normal and not worry, but it feels like I can’t. I wake up worrying, I got to sleep worrying. It feels like my brain is going to explode.

I would like to hear others opinions on this. It is not about right or wrong, it is simply about what you believe.

Just a warning: this can be very triggering for some people, so if you can't handle this kind of stuff, please don't continue reading.

I have had an eating disorder for 3 years now. I starved myself, got help and accepted my body, then starved myself again, it was an entire cycle of recovering and relapsing. But in that time, I never managed to make myself throw up, no matter how much I tried. Though, recently, I relapsed again, and I just tried making myself throw up, and it actually worked. But now that I know the trick, I can't stop. It just feels like a cheat code; I can eat as much as a want, since I'll just throw it up after anyway. I now throw up about 3 times a day, and I already start feeling the effects of it, but I don't care and just continue doing it.

I've had a close female friend since 8th grade,we get along very well and have lots of things in common. When we got into the same highschool together i eventually fell in love with her. Im so in love with her i cant think,watch anime,read,study,eat or sleep properly because my thoughts are only about her. Im in love with every part of her and i want nothing else other than her. She makes my life worth living and if i dont see or talk to her my day turns into the biggest fucking piece of dogshit of all time and i feel awful. The problem is im the most worthless,useless,braindead trash bastard ever. I am a worthless son,a worthless friend and overall just a worthless man. Im fucking stupid and extremely untalented (unlike her). She's the only reason i dont end it all and honestly i have no idea what i should do. Im usually quite outgoing and dont have like social anxiety or whatever but im such a pussy and so afraid that she just doesnt fw me like that or even worse she'll reject me and end our friendship too. If that happens i'll straight up end it i think...Needed to write all this 'cause if i didnt i'd really go apeshit.

I just want someone to think I'm hot, or stare at me, or say I look good. I'm tired of being completely invisible in every situation. I'm tired of being completely forgotten the second I leave the room. I'm tired of everyone not just not looking at me as I pass but actively looking away. I'm tired of busting my ass in the gym every morning for years and seeing zero progress in the mirror. I'm tired of fighting through injuries and having to "rest" and repeat the same progress over and over instead of actually getting stronger, leaner, and faster. I'm tired of having to think of myself as a genuine monster and consider all the ways that my mere presence in a public place could possibly make someone uncomfortable so I have to leave. Tired of having to tell myself that I can't enjoy anything because I need to be doing hard work on myself every hour of every day. Tired of being subhuman dogshit in everyone's eyes because I'm 33 and single.

I’ve been searching for my sexuality for years now and for a year u have identified as a lesbian. But people don’t believe me I don’t know how to say it better but they wish on me to marry a man even though I have never liked men I remember in the 3rd grade all the girls were talking about they crushes and i was thinking to myself which is the most attractive boy in my class and then in my said just like that I said okay I have a crush on you now, no I’m in love with you I can’t stop thinking about you, just because I wanted to feel “normal” whatever that was. Now I’m an adult and I still haven’t liked a man or been with one my whole life the only men I’ve ever found attractive were actors of animated characters. But when I see conventionally attractive man I do think oh he’s so pretty or hot but I’m not attracted to him I wouldn’t wanna date him. I have been with 5 women in my life but with 0 men I’ve done all my firsts with girls, men don’t make me feel like women do. And yet I still try to convince myself and imagine my wedding day with a man even though I don’t feel any type of feeling when think about it besides betrayal. I try to fantasize about men and I say how attractive a man is and imagine being with them and how hot they are until I start feeling it but I don’t feel like that after I get out of my manic state of where I force myself to fall in love with a man, because 3rd class wasn’t the only time I told myself I like someone, not even long ago. Last year I told myself I have a huge crush on this boy and I was just boy crushing on him so hard and in my head I was like oh you wouldn’t have to pay me to kiss him (because I always say you would need to pay me to kiss a man) and well after two weeks of being manic and in love and obsessed and trying to get attention I couldn’t anymore I didn’t feel it I just tried to feel good about myself and fit in I tried I tried I tried, I really tried this time but it didn’t work. Yet I still try and tell me I like men and one minute I’m like I’m proud to be a lesbian and in another I see a video of a happy straight couple and in my head I just pray to have that. Sometimes I wish I was a blond white woman of god who is with her brown curly hair blue eye man happily ever after my parents and sister would approve and everyone would be happy. But I’m exactly the opposite of everything I just said I’m a curly hair ginger with piercings and tattoos who is a witch and doesn’t believe in god nor would I go to god if he was real (no offense) and I don’t want a man I really don’t I want a tall woman who treats me right and does everything to make me happy and we do end up happily ever after but would my family be approving most likely no, my sister would but my parents? No they’re Slavic they aren’t like that. Even when I’d be married they’d pray for me to be with a man. And I guess that’s what’s holding me back even after five relationships in white women. But my mind changes every minute I have very splitting mind and personalities I guess because I’m a different person every time you talk to me and i guess that’s why I’m on bipolar medication. I hope maybe someone reading this will realize they not alone or maybe even reply and talk to me about it

I’m always sad. I always feel that I’m worse than everyone else. No matter what I’m doing I’m never truly happy. I can’t talk to anyone about it.

i’ve had a few crushes, but every guy just never seems interested. i don’t think anyone has ever been attracted to me, and i just wonder..am i that ugly? will anyone ever love me? i just want someone to love me, it’s all i fantasize about. every guy i know almost only cares about a girl’s appearance. do i even have a chance to ever be loved unconditionally by someone? do good guys even exist? i just want someone to care for me, adore me, love me. is it too much to ask for? should i just settle with any guy that shows even a slight interest in me?

Nearly everyday I am frustrated and angry about something, mostly because of myself but also other things and I need to say it.

I can't take my mother and sister anymore for difficult reasons. My mother can't let go, I am 23 and I want to make my own decisions and standing on my own feets but she doesn't. She needs to decides what clothes I wear, what things I should do, .... basicly she is allways right and I should do what she wants. My sister is a other topic, she Acts like she is 12 but she is 30. You need explain everything to her, she needs to say everything 3 times, overacting by everything and more. For me it is like tortur when I am with her, she annoys me the whole time.

The next thing is a friend of me, he isn't a bad guy and I like to do things with him but I must admit he also starts to annoy me. We talk nearly everyday online and we are also volunteer firefighter. Most of the time it is about him, he must Show how good his car is, what he does at the momentan, his opinion etc and I often get simply ignored by him. I often have the feeling he sees himself as the centre of your friendship or in our firefighter departement and I find it frustrating.

But mostly I am angry about myself because how I am. I make a lot of stupid mistakes and get in stupid situations. I missunderstand or Mix up a lot of things, I find it hard to explain what I mean, make new mistakes I never done bevor and so on. Because of this I am allways unsure even by small things. I try to do my best everytime and try to learn out of my mistakes but it seems never to get better and that frustrates me.

The last thing what I want to tell are my sexual desires. I don't explain it in details but basicly I have lot of kinks and the main thing is that I desire to be a woman. I hate it and don't understand why I have those desires. They are strong and often I need to think about it, I Look at women who I find attractive be it irl or fictional and I need to think how it would be to be them. I find it wrong and wished it would simply go away but it becomes actually more stronger.

Waiting for something, anything, to happen in my life. Waiting for my turn at love. Waiting for a place to belong. Hoping my unlucky cards be flipped to lucky ones. Hoping for a smile instead of a frown. Hoping my life's pages would turn colorful instead of black and white.

My existence book pages have headlines only without body or context, all empty.

I wish, I hope, and wait.

It's sad it seems like the only time I have a conversation with one of my friends is when I have to go and initiate. Whenever I'm in a group of people nobody listens to me. When I talk to people sometimes they just ignore me. I feel like I'm just a nuisance to people and that nobody would choose me in a room.

So for context, I am a teenager (won't specify my age) and my ex and I are the same age and go to the same school. A few weeks ago I got dumped. It wasn't really that shocking to me since we were having some relationship problems ever since he told me that he proposed to me as a prank and didn't actually have feelings for me.

After learning this, I was super mad at him and didn't talk to him for several days. But since I liked him a lot and the fact that he said he truly loved me now.. I decided to give him a second chance. We agreed to not really mention this again and try to start again, but it didn't really leave my mind and I got uncomfortable with him.

Less than a month later, he messages me saying that it isn't working for him and he wants to break up with me because according to him I wasn't putting "efforts" into our relationship. I was heartbroken, but I just replied that I understand.

A few days ago, I found out that a mean girl in my class (who hates me a lot, calls me a bitch behind my back and calls me an attention seeker and pick-me girl) dared him to ask me out because she knew that I had feelings for him.

And not just that, all the people who I thought were my friends knew about this whole prank and still didn't tell me. I don't really know what to do with myself anymore, my confidence has reached a new low, I am feeling really depressed.

And the situation at my home isn't good either; my mom is cheating on my dad, my brother who is an adult still hasn't accomplished anything which pisses my parents off and in turn I also get scolded. Life sucks both at home and school, the only time I feel happy is when I talk to my friends in cram class.

My parents have been divorced as long as I can remember. I love both of them equally, which frustratingly I've always felt I needed to prove, especially to my mom. This makes me not even want to ask if I can spend more time at my dad's house. I'm a 16 year old girl in high-school, and at my dad's house I have my own bedroom. I always feel a little sad going to my mom's. It's also weird because my mom lived rather comfortably while my dad struggles with food, bills etc. My whole life feeling changes every few days, and it's exhausting. Both of my parents do so much for me, but my mom is definitely more capable of being mean and sometimes manipulative. I've also just had a hard and weird life that's caused me to have unique relationships with both of them. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? I'm so tired.

For context, I live in the UK. We just finished celebrating Halloween and are about to celebrate Guy Fawks night on the 5th of November. (Not to mention December will be Christmas and New Years) Now, I don't mind people celebrating ON the day, but I've been hearing fireworks going from 8pm to midnight since Halloween and probably expect to hear them on Guy Fawks and beyond.

None of this would be a problem if I didn't have animals, we prepared for the fireworks but it's still not enough. I don't understand why people use them outside of the holidays. All they had to do was wait 4 fucking days and they could shoot of as many as they want. It's rapid fire and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of my dog being so scared and not being able to help them more. I shouldn't have to stay up late and listen to this shit all week and try my best to comfort my dog. I should be able to walk them in the evening without them trying desperately to run back home.

I may sound like an old fart, but they shouldn't be this easy to get a hold of, especially for younger people. I'm all for them being used on special occasions by people who know what they're doing, but I'm hearing them right outside my house, most likely being used by a group of teens. They could end up seriously hurting people.

Anyway, that's all I got to say. I'm tired of it all, it's not fun anymore.

Moving schools in Year 12 sucks as a shy person because I feel like I don’t fit. Like I think I have close friends but we don’t talk outside school despite me trying to. I don’t know, maybe I’m not funny or smart of pretty enough.

One of my friends just had a birthday party and I was pretty hurt to discover it through Instagram. She said she probably wasn’t going to do anything for her birthday. I messaged her as soon as I woke up to wish her and I’m still on delivered, but we talk in school and skipped a little of our class together on Thursday and I had so much fun, I felt like we had become really close. We were talking about her birthday cake, she said she was making a “smash” cake (like putting pictures of hot people on a cake) and she was asking me for ideas.

Now I open Instagram to see that cake… and I’m not invited. I would’ve accepted it if it was just between her and her old friends. But another new student was invited. I didn’t even know they were friends, they never hang out. Life sucks. I wish I had real friends :(

Bit of a strange one, but bear with me.

I am a club promoter in my city and we recently hosted a club night at a new venue that has a policy that at least one DJ on the lineup has to be female. The club wants to increase inclusion and gender balance. OK great, no problem.

So me and my partner booked a female DJ that played the type of music we were looking for. And during the night after her performance, she was in the smoking area chatting with people and found out about the club’s policy of requiring one female DJ each night.

She told me afterwards that she was very upset that she had been booked “just because she has a vagina” instead of because she was a talented DJ.

(I’ll be honest, I wanted to select another DJ who was a much better fit in terms of skill and track selection, but that DJ just happened to be a male)

Now, the female DJ I booked is understandably upset about getting the sympathy booking. However, she understands that it’s not exactly me (the promoter) fault.

I just can’t do this anymore. I have no friends, no social life, and just once just fucking ONCE I would love to be someone’s first choice. Whether it’s a platonic friendship or a romantic relationship, I’d love for someone, anyone to just look at me and think “She seems cool, I wanna get to know her better.” All my life, I’ve always been the one having to reach out, make plans, make the first move, send the first text. Well I’m fucking done. If I’m meant to die alone and depressed then so be it. I’m sick of feeling like this. My best friend of 20 years stabbed me in the back about a year ago, and since then, I haven’t been able to trust anyone. I probably never will. I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me. A reason why it’s so fucking hard to make a friend or make a connection with another human being. Either way, I’m just done. I don’t want to fucking do this anymore.

I rarely EVER call in to my job. Including today, this was the second time ever I've called in. In three years.

The last time I called in, like two years ago, I was also sick. Which... happens. We work in customer service. It's fucking nasty and no matter how much you wash your hands, you're going to eventually get sick doing it.

So last night I wasn't feeling well, whatever. This morning I woke up vomiting and I took my temp. Fever of 101. Yeah, I'm not going to work.

I called my boss and told him the situation.

"Oh, great, thanks for that! Now I only have two servers on this morning! That's just fantastic!"

I'm like 😨 ????????????

He tells me that another server no call no showed, and they don't have another girl in until 11. So they had two servers during breakfast rush on a Saturday morning.

He goes "thanks for calling" and hangs up on me.

Yeah, I get it, that absolutely blows. I texted my coworkers later on, explained I was sick, and profusely apologized for the shit morning I knew they had.

But now on top of being sicker than dog shit, my boss made me feel super guilty for it!!!! I felt like a total asshole! FOR BEING SICK!

How is it my fault that another server happened to not show up to her shift? I'm fucking sick. What am I supposed to do, show up vomiting with a fever and get everyone else sick too?

I'm sure they'd love watching me vomit in the trash can on the server aisle!

Jesus christ. I'm so frustrated. I don't deserve to feel like a horrible person because I DARED to get sick.

And I'm a good fucking employee. I cover shifts for other people, I'll stay late if I have to, I rarely ever call in. And if I do, it's for a damn good reason. Like ummm.... vomiting with a fever???

Rant over. So god damn annoyed. I did not deserve that shit this morning when I called him, kneeling on my bathroom floor in between vomiting.

I had a friend I've known for 4 years, and until recently I didn't feel any different. It was completely platonic and I had no feelings for her, but I struggle with maladaptive daydreaming about anything and everything, and it began to shape my perception of her in a way that I couldn't understand. I wasn't attracted to her at all, I loved the friendship and that's that, but I became attracted to the personality I had unconsciously created in my mind and then attached to her. The friendship just got shittier and shittier due to mistakes I kept making while struggling to overcome these feelings and go back to how it was, but I couldn't. The idolization got worse and the obsessive overthinking grew and I knew I had to talk to her about it. A tale as old as time, she didn't feel the same and I took some time away, but when we began to speak again it just was never going to be the same, and after grinding through two cringe inducing months of coping I just decided to end the friendship. She understood, but now, due to an attachment to a person that wasn't her, created solely in my mind, it ruined the very real friendship I had with a person I enjoyed. Nothing I can do but learn from it and learn to develop healthier attachments, but it was actually almost talented of me to take something so normal and ruin it with my fantasies that I create. I'm a young man in a lonely chapter of my life, who wants nothing more than to raise a beautiful family with a loving wife, and I think I just took the friendship and turned it into something more to feel like I was on that path. Lesson learned, it was selfish of me, and it feels worse than my real relationships ending which just shows how bad my attachment had got. Just didn't want to put her through any more of that and I want to help myself so I can be a better father in the future. Life is just unapologetically unforgiving sometimes and I can do nothing with my mistakes except try to learn from them. I just seem to rationalize acting in my own interests and I'm scared that I'll never truly be empathetic and caring about others when it comes to deep and meaningful relationships. I'm so tired.

The most frustrating conversation I had recently was with a young twenty-something second generation Vietnamese American guy, who not only voted for Trump because of "policies" but is adamantly anti-abortion and laughed about voting red because schools were teaching "woke, pro-choice views".

I have to hope that he's an outlier, but it definitely ruined my day to hear him spewing anti-CRT, xenophobic and at times blatantly racist views (about other immigrants and nations) and obviously the misogynistic policies he was very proud to have voted for.

As an 80's baby, I know we had the privilege to naively believe that racism was over and we lived in a post-racial utopia of equality, and in hindsight I think we all just watched too much Star Trek and lived in little bubbles.

I know that the intersectionality of extreme conservatism and misogyny go beyond racial borders, but it just f***ing bummed me out to hear such a young person with so much vitriol against fellow immigrants and women.

Remember folks, don't vote for someone who would have thrown you into a concentration camp 70 years ago. Also, keep in mind that having no safe access to abortion can and will affect you if you are a straight man who is sexually active. You're voting against access to healthcare if you back the repeal of Roe.

about 2 months ago, my gf broke up with me. she said she wanted to stay as friends, but i feel like we're far from that at this point. im drifting away from the friend group i was in with her. our friend and her have been matching a lot, and i see how happy they are by each other. i know its been 2 months now, but i cant help but feel bad, and kind of jealous. i still like her. at least, i think i do. i dont know. i have a really hard time distinguishing between platonic and romantic feelings. especially right now. this isnt the first time that ive been broken up with. but, its worse this time. we were together for a year, almost a year and a half. seeing how happy she is without me, i start to question a lot. i feel like maybe i was just making everything worse. she doesnt need me. shes fine without me. she looks happier, now that were not together. i want to leave the groupchat im in with them. but i dont know if i should. i dont want them to think i hate them. but ive been having a really tough time recently. we barely talk. and, when we do, its practically only because we're doing things in biology. they dont need me. they probably hate me. they probably only stay my "friends" because they pity me, or they feel like theyre stuck with me. im a horrible person. and all of this hasnt helped the fact that recently ive been going through a lot of depressive episodes. i keep relapsing, and its horrible. ive thought about if they would even care if i disappeared, or stopped showing up to school. what if i stopped talking? what if i didnt try to make myself seem happy? i just want things to be the way they used to. but i know it cant. why do i even try to keep friends when things like this happen. i wanna cry. so many things have been going wrong for me. i just want to be okay again. she made me so happy when we were together. but i fucked it all up. i could have done so many things to prevent this. maybe i could have done something, and we would still be together. they dont need me. but i need them. they make me so happy. they made me feel like im actually a person. like im real.

I have created a unique business that appeals to ALOT of people, but when I get a message regarding booking and my requirement for a deposit, I get ghosted. Why?

I have scheduled so many appointments and taken away from others requested availability that I get no call/no showed or last minute cancellations so I require a deposit fee.

13f another month of this bullshit ... where im disliked .... and im constantly talked to as a joke ... im not your circus animal ... leave me alone.... i dont know what to do anymore..... i hate everyone ... except my friends they are nice , i hate everyone else.. pls stop talking to me ffs ... i just wanna be left alone... stop pestering me to get a laugh... im so tired... i cant even get mental health breaks too... either i have to be sick or else im forced to go by my parents. i hate them so much, today i went out and this guy saw me (hes always yelling my name out when im near , and not in a omg (name) i love you in a rude way to mess with me) he yelled my name out and i got so embarrassed... why did this hve to happen to me ..... i cant even do anything about it, the school is keeping a eye on me but they only mess with me whennthe teachers not in class so nobody will ever know .. or when rarely we accidentally meet outside of school... if i tell on them i have a chance of getting jumped (they never told me this will happen but this will prob happen or maybe theyll just torment me more)

what am i ever gonna do... i cant even move schools cause im a bit far away from town, so im stuck with 2 options: move to another school but they dont take bullying or SA seriously... or option 2: just stay here.. i want out of this

So we moved about a year ago to a quiet dead end street (USA), but our neighbor Airbnb’s the house next door for month long stays.

This months guests are an older couple. They have two dogs. I have spoken to them to give them a heads up that my dog is not friendly towards other dogs. My dog is on a leash while in our fenced in back yard most of the time so it’s not a problem.

The problem is, I like to sit on my beautiful front porch with my dog. The guests let their dogs out of their house, they’re untrained and run all over our yard and the other houses yards. They yell for the dogs and they don’t listen. I am scared to sit on my own front porch with my dog in fear that they will come on my porch and get bit by my dog. On top of that, their dog has shit in our yard twice and they just left it.

I don’t know how to contact the owner of the airbnb to let them know what’s going on, but I’m hoping/praying their stay is almost over.

I just needed to rant because I never thought I’d have to deal with problems like these when moving to a quiet street.