I've had DPDR for a few months now, and I have this constantly lingering feeling/fear that I am in some kind of psychosis or in the prodromal stage of schizophrenia. When it gets really bad and I am completely disconnected, I think/feel that any second I'm gonna start hallucinating/have delusional thoughts. But they never happen. I feel so low I feel like I might as well have schizophrenia. Advice?

I just realized I haven't even thought of sex for months.....and I feel no desire for it either. I can feel waves of happiness and joy now but sexual desire...meh.

I am not numb to it, I feel everything psychically, I can orgasm fine if I wanted to and I feel like it's all still there but I'm wondering if this is a low dopamine thing or just dpdr?

I don't particularly care to exist in a reality devoid of literally all emotion, feeling, color, or familiarity where I'm just dragging what's left of my meat suit from thing to thing day after day. A shame, because I had so much planned for my future. Do I have CPTSD? Do I have dpdr? Both? Something unexplainable? who knows, and honestly I just don't care anymore. Don't touch drugs, not even once, not even a tiny amount, that's all I can say. Peace y'all, I'm not doing this anymore, and I think it's time we all got honest about how much good/advice can really be given seeing as how everyone's stories are too different for some magic recovery pill to work. I feel like at some point, it's either choose to end it or try to survive and cope. whatever choice everyone makes, I hope y'all have peace.

I see a lot of people say they got it when they were younger. On the flip side, I guess trauma can happen at any point, and I had been stressed/anxious for a long time prior.

I think i’m gonna really end my life if this doesn’t get better soon.

Who has Visual Snow syndrome here? Anyone have constant head pressure? Sometimes the skin on my face feels hot and burning like a sunburn sensation. And my nose always feels stuffy even if it never runs. My nostrils are dry and my sense of smell is ever dull. Anyone have these symptoms? I can’t find a reason for them other than post concussion syndrome which I did have an extreme falling into dpdr for a couple months but have sensed mellowed out some but still don’t feel normal. maybe at the end of the day they are just dp/dr symptoms.

I've noticed whenever someone shouts at me (not often) or if they're arguing (especially family) I almost feel woozy idk how to explain it. It's like I feel 3 seconds of feeling a little trippy and unsteady almost. If my family were to be arguing with themselves rn and just shout I realise my depersonlisation symptoms get slightly higher. Is this normal? Why can I not handle such events anymore? Its not even arguing but even if someone was just cheering very loud suddenly besides me or even if I did the cheer, then dpdr just hits me like a brick and it takes me a while to return to myself again.

I have been suffering from derealization for long and I am starting to think that it is because of my eyes. So let me elaborate.. One day I was just chilling on my pc and I noticed my eyes feeling really uncomfortable. It felt like they weren't properly working together. After that I have been unable to take eye contact since it feels really uncomfortable. It was around that time when my derealization got chronic (before it was just short episodes). After the eye contact issues I have been feeling like I am constantly lightheaded but that's not really the right word. It feels like my eyes have a lot of input lag and that I can't process things as fast I used to so It makes me anxious. So when I am in crowded places it feels really uncomfortable and overwhelming for me too look around and my head trembles when I try to do so and this of course causes more anxiety. I have also been dealing with horrible brainfog since then which has been the worst symptom for me. I have been checked for pretty much everything and all tests came out normal so I've been treated with ssris & snris with little to no help at all. Brainfog, dissociated and slow/lightheaded feeling is still constant. Also feels like my spatial awareness affected like I am constantly confused. Also I feel like my motor function is affected too. I know that I don't have any neurological issues that has made my motor functioning worse but sometimes I just feel so slow doing simple things and sometimes I might reach for something that is too far away even if there was more space to get closer. I really can't explain this well but maybe someone gets it

An ophtalmologist diagnosed me with a convergence insufficiency and exophoria but other one said I don't have any of those.. So it is a little confusing. However I'll get my eyes checked one more time by a neuro opthalmologist. I am not 100% convinced that it is my eyes since brainfog itself can cause vision processing issues etc.. What I am pretty sure though is that anxiety is not the root the cause. I feel like this feeling and brainfog makes me anxious more than anything.

So I've had what I think is brain fog constantly and daily for the past 2 years. My brain feels like mashed potatoes and it feels like it isnt working. I'll skip to the problems I'm having rn:

So right now I opened my selfie camera and I looked at myself, I cant find the connection to my reflection, so I closed my eyes slapped my face and looked in the cam again, I repeated this like 10 times and each time it just felt scary and unusual, my reflection just felt like it wasnt me or I just couldn't connect to it or appreciate myself. What the hell should I do? I just want to end it all. My doctors always say its anxiety but WHY would I have anxiety EVERY SINGLE DAMN DAY for no reason. This condition is CAUSING my anxiety and mental health issues.

It's currently my third day on Hydroxyzine, might be commercially known as Atarax, and I've been wondering if there's anyone out there with a story to share with this medication. I won't deny, it it helped a good deal alleviating my anxiety and making me much calmer. Would my dp/dr go away once my anxiety wears off? Since it was mainly triggered from a massive panic attack. My existential thoughts aren't as dreadful, but I still dissociate here and there with varying intensity.

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Hi Folks,

"Does anyone else [experience this symptom]" is one of the most commonly asked questions on the sub, so this weekly sticky is to create a dedicated space for users to relate to each other and ask questions about questions they might have.

DPDR is, unfortunately, an under-researched disorder with many strange symptoms. As a result, its sufferers are often left between confused and experiencing a full-blown existential crisis. Symptoms may overlap and vary in intensity. "Keep in mind that two people might describe/interpret the same symptom (and its effect on their own functioning/cognition) very differently."

We just want to emphasize this thread, both questions and responses are completely subjective and not of a medical nature. If you haven't already, please try searching the sub (and "Symptom Question" flair) to see if your question has already been asked.

For those that are recovered or getting better what supplements helped you?

i’ve had dpdr for almost 4 years now but 2 years ago i developed agoraphobia and i was scared to even leave my room. then it’s gotten a little better but now it’s getting worse again and i don’t think i have enough power in me to push through it, i can’t live like that, i can’t do almost anything even at home :(

Prior to DPDR, I never had this constant rumination- it’s been the same thoughts in my head over and over for nearly 2 years now. Meditation is very hard for me because things just keep popping into my awareness; my mind never stops. My mind never stops searching for a way out of this; trying to analyze it and rationalize it. I have music and songs in my head all day long over and over. That’s all that’s in my head - no ability to form complex thoughts, no inner monologue, no sense of time or seasons, constant over thinking and trying to solve things, I feel like my mind never shuts off

I’d give anything to forget all about DPDR and move on with my life. I see so many people here who have recovered saying that you need to get off Reddit, stop thinking about DPDR completely and move on. I guess I’ve developed these mental compulsion’s to constantly be checking for it and to also be searching for an answer. The thoughts never go away, they repeat like a laundry cycle. Before DPDR, I could really meditate and have a clear mind, just observing my thoughts. I was present and grounded in my body, I felt everything.

Now I’m in my head all day long, and I don’t know how to get out of it. The thoughts are constant questions, not even fear necessarily- just wanting to know an answer to the most random things. My old self could bring up thoughts that I actually wanted to think about, now there’s just junk floating around; when I’m showering, when I’m driving, when I’m reading. I don’t actually feel a part of life at all. I’m in my own world. Everything in life made sense before, now it doesn’t at all. There’s no way to articulate this other than - I was such a part of my life before, I wasn’t in my head, I wasn’t worried about these things. Time actually felt like something, days didn’t just fade into each other like they do now. I wanted to dance, sing, go out, do fun things, make plans, dream about the future. It feels like my brain has been reduced to just a tiny section of neural pathways that are trying to solve things that cannot be solved - all other feelings, thoughts or emotions are locked up.

How do you forget this and move on? I can’t live my life this way, and that rumination comes from a desperate attempt to get better or find something that works. There’s no words for this state, life is just not even real to me, and I never felt that way before this. I’m scared I’ll never be able to have a clear mind, be rational and feel safe again. 2 short years ago I was flying all over by myself and loved traveling solo. It’s like all my likes, wants, desires & dreams are gone - but my brain has turned to mush and is just repeating strange thoughts all day, with no ability to form complex thoughts or emotions. I can’t imagine ever not being this way, even though I live 29 years of my life without DPDR. I know what that life felt like, what the experience was like - this is nothing even close to it. The world was vivid, real and I was a part ot it all, good and bad. My mind won’t stop ruminating because I can’t force my body to release DPDR, so my mind wants to solve it and make sense of it

I hear a lot to be careful with that after recovery. Im recovered now but those intrusive thoughts keep coming and they are annoying. Am i real? Or is time is real?

So I was dealing with dpdr for a month now and I remember i started to feel better but then I guess a set back happened or idk but now I can see thing clearly but it seems off and wierd and confused I just feel so dissociated and now I feel like my brain is looking at life differently but I'm hoping it's still dpdr please someone who has recovered let me know if this is still dpdr I feel hopeless I just want hope that this is still dpdr

Also, does it take you time to differentiate in the morning when you wake up between dream and reality?

Tried going to a park with my boyfriend 7 minutes away. Got there a cried. Had to go back home.

I will say I am making progress. I have gotten better since February. But this is still so hard.

Yes, I am, agoraphobic from dpdr. Started therapy, once a week, gonna ask for two sessions a week. On Lamictal 150mg.

Don't give up even tho it's so fucking hard...

I’ve felt old feeling bubbling up to the surface the last week or so, and I know because I’ve been so numb for so long - when I feel something, I’m very aware of it. It’s like old parts of myself from the past are coming to the surface - and I’m not present in this moment, I’m re-experiencing the past.

I’m hoping that it’s parts of the DPDR slowly shedding away. I still don’t feel anything in my body, but these feelings / memories are in my mind. I’m still extremely disconnected from my past life & self. Yesterday I was in my old neighborhood and recalling that past version of myself, and my life. I can conjure up those memories, but I’m still unable to connect them with the present self. It just reminds me of how far away from myself I’ve been for the last 2 years - it’s almost unimaginable, I don’t know how I’ve survived it. When I first got DPDR and read that people have it for years sometimes, never knew that would be me. I’ve come a long way - I got over the agoraphobia, I stopped having panic attacks, I have a stable career and life, I’m socializing and living - but it’s still not “me” or “my life” - like I’m a robot living in someone else’s body. I still don’t get internal sensations, which create emotions, emotions come from the body and the mind generates thoughts based on those feelings. When you’re so far removed from feeling anything - of course it feels like someone else’s life. My therapist told me that the feelings are still there, they always have been, I’m just unable to actually feel them because my body & brain are afraid to.

What’s helped me so far is medication, keeping busy and focused, still living my life, taking supplements (phosphatidylserine) has helped me the most so far with brain fog, it’s an amino acid that improves brain functioning. I also feel that it may be helping me actually rationalize things and not be so fearful. Parts of the brain are not functioning correctly in DPDR). Light exercise and sex have really helped as well, to stop fearing the physical sensations. Although during sex I still feel like parts of my body are not mine.

The symptoms that are still really affecting me are - loss of connection with self and reality, unable to sense time, seasons, weather. No sense of time, meaning that a year has felt like a month, each day is a copy of the last and my memory wipes almost every day. If you ask me to recall something from last week, a month ago, 6 months ago, it’s really hard for me to. I still have some deep rooted fears about being unsafe & a fear of death. That’s where my health anxiety stems from and over years of it, landed me in DPDR. I also have lost all my senses since this; smells, tastes, touch, my body in space. There’s actually 8 senses including vestibular which helps detect our head in space. I have these senses but they do not bring the vivid life experience they did before - it’s all muted out and the same each day. If I could describe my experience in a few sentences; there’s no unique feeling to life anymore - it’s all the same each day. I am no longer me, life is no longer an immersive experience. I see things from afar but they bring up no feeling or emotion inside me. My memory and ability to form them is not there, unable to recall names, dates, addresses etc, I was very sharp before. I don’t feel anxious, I don’t have panic attacks anymore - but my mind is ruminating 24/7 about the same thing. It’s like I can’t move on to other thoughts like I could in the past, it’s subconscious and not in my control is what it feels like. The thoughts for the last 2 years have been the same, like a washing machine. I know they aren’t my only thoughts, but they’re the only ones that I’m aware of. I feel like I have no autonomy over my life like I did in the past; I’m paralyzed. I feel like I’m not alive, but I know I am. All my hobbies, passions and desires are not there. Times of day had a certain feeling that I no longer have - it’s all the same, even if a week passes I can’t feel that movement of time. My sleep schedule is all over the place because I don’t feel tiredness or exhaustion, or have a circadian rhythm to keep my schedule. 10p, 5a, noon - it all feels the same. Every nerve in my body is working but my body & mind won’t let me feel it. I feel hollow and like I have no weight. That sense of self and image that I tied myself to my whole life is gone. I no longer do things for pleasure or enjoyment- it’s all about surviving.

This is a long post but I want to document where I am at. This all seems form severe complex trauma that my body could no longer hold. The trauma was too big for my brain, so my body stored it. I know I cannot solve this with my brain, it has to come from body. My thoughts are all being generated by a body that feels threatened & unsafe. I used to trust my body and self completely, after panic and DPDR - that trust has been gone. I love to travel but I’m paralyzed with fear, and not feeling safe. I could fly across the world myself just 2 short years ago. I’ve lost that inner monologue that told me it was going to be okay. I know I will heal, the body knows how. Right now I’m focused on giving myself grace and the space to heal. I’m letting myself feel anything that comes up without fear or judgement. It’s hard to imagine a future, even my ability to construct complex plans and thoughts isn’t there anymore. I know this all from trauma and anxiety, but I never knew it could cause you to lose your whole self and life. Somewhere inside me, I’m locked away out of reach. My inner child who is scared, is ruling my life.

It’s hard to imagine I could get better, I resigned to this being my life forever. 2 years is a long time when you’re suffering. I’m trying to be more positive and focusing on the good. All I want is to be able to feel again, and recognize myself and my life. The fear stems from being altered and crazy, going through life feeling like you have brain damage, are in a coma, or are losing it - that’s not a way to live. There’s so much more to life than this, I can remember it because I lived it for 29 years. This isn’t reality, this isn’t what humans were meant to experience for years at a time. I know I’ll be better from this, it’s just not knowing when or how- when you’ve lost what makes you human, it’s hard to ever imagine being your normal self again. You’re so consumed by fear, unreality, rumination, numbness - what would normal even feel like?

Hopefully this makes sense. I’ll give some examples.

So everything I do or did had an association with something of my life or life event. But they no longer exist.

These are what I used to associate it with

Summer with flowers and terra cotta pots.

May with my son’s birthday.

Lemons summer

July with patriotic hanging banners on my house

Mornings with coffee on the porch Smells with certain life events and memories

Jan 8 my first boyfriend birthday. Anytime the date comes around I thought of him.

Certain scents with my childhood home

Patriotic feeling with Memorial Day or seeing the jets from the marine corps base

Dove soap smell reminded me of my nana who died

September was a month I hated because it was always back to school time.

Certain food smells and foods in general reminded me of things

There’s sooooo much more! But none of this exists anymore.

Sights, sounds, and smells all had meaning or memories.

I had a certain style and taste when it came to clothes, gardening, or food. And now it’s all gone like I never lived or existed. I was a military wife and had a certain sense of things around that life and it doesn’t exist anymore.

Does anyone else fear that someone will drug them? I am aware that this is irrational, but I will wait an hour to make sure I’m fine. My dpdr makes me feel like I’m high so my mind will play tricks on me and gaslight me

Just curious if anyone had expierenced success after years of dpdr mine feels like I’m stuck behind my eyes , going to go crazy, hyper aware of everything , tinnitus (started after dp) I got it from stress and anxiety / trauma I guess I still get scared it’s something more serious I had a ct scan but scared I have a nuerological problem or serious mental disorder think that’s what’s holding me back

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I’ve had this since October 2022 occasionally and in January 2023 it started being 24/7. I’ve smoked really much at that time and I was still really young, besides that I’ve got really much trauma with me from my childhood but also from not very much time ago. I haven’t smoked since January 2023, but I do drink once in a while. My bf had suggested me that I will try to smoke with him because I have bad experiences with it and he thinks it’s not gonna make it worse. I think I still am not in that state of mind because I have borderline and ptsd also. I have really much anxiety and I overthink very much. Do you think it would help me or it’s just gonna be fine if I smoke? I also have been in therapy since September but my therapist just reminds me a lot and there’s also very much going on in my life right now.

I have been to all the help sources I have access to but literally nothing, none has helped me and none knows what wrong with me. So here i am, asking Reddit.

It’s been getting worse it started off as simply not feeling like I’m real. I don’t know what triggered it it just started. So,

Stage 1: Not feeling real.

And then over about a month I entered stage two. Not registering people as in my mom would come into my room and I would know she my mom but I don’t feel it. None meant anything to me. Hiding, as in during stage 2 my whole body just shut down. I didn’t feel emotions, I didn’t feel hot but I’d sweat, I wouldn’t speak because I believe I simply wasn’t real so what was the point.

Stage 2: feeling disconnected, not register people, hiding.

And now I believe I’m on stage three. I have ‘attacks’ where everything around me is lagging, I severely don’t feel real and I don’t notice it until it’s a couple of seconds in and then I panic and don’t know how long I’ve been ‘attacked’ .

Stage 3: laggy vision, dream-like, loudness, anxiety, severe derealisation.

+sometimes if I remember who I am and I remember me who’s having to deal with this I’ll freak out +my world feels 2d +if I remember there’s distance between me and objects I’ll freak. +certain environments like if I’m having fun it will happen especially with my friends or hang outs. +I have started vaping within the last few months but I don’t believe that’s causing what this is +what I feel is the exact same as a bad experience with drugs just minus the feelings

I will take any help I can get, any advice anything. I don’t know how bad it’s going to get and it could end up killing me.

I’m planning on making a video about how I phased almost every symptom and recovery questions! I made video about how I recovered and now I want to make some on the symptoms and any questions about recovery I probably didn’t answer!

I went through some severe shit for 2 years and im finally feeling alive after throwing myself into the deep end and travelling the world. Its fucking hard at points but I am feeling somewhat ok

I’ve been in this “off kilter” not right state for around 5 months ever since I got on Prozac ((which I’m off of now)) but I’ve been spaced out and feeling like I’m wrapped up in a layer of gauze for the longest time. Something just feels off. What do you guys do to cope with your chronic DP/DR?

I have become somewhat obsessed with checking the drpr subreddit as I recover from my symptoms. Recently though, the Buddhism sub has popped up on my feed and it has been a good replacement. I still love you guys and want to check in sometimes to support others but I think transitioning away from focusing on dpdr all the time has been helpful.

Oh, that and r/redditgetsdrawnbadly is delightful