I have such chronic fatigue - you'd think you'd find that on a blood test. Nope. My doctor ordered literally every test under the sun and it all came back perfectly normal.

It just confirmed that my brain is completely messed up. I have music in my head literally 24/7. Emotionally numb. Chronically fatigued. Dissociated all the time.

I've come so far, no more panic attacks, no more anxiety. But have all these lingering physical problems that don't show up on any tests. Going to the gym and stretching a lot helped me feel better the other day; so I guess my next route is somatic healing and body based work. Talk therapy for 2 years didn't do jack shit. I wasted thousands of dollars and finally gave up on it about 2 months ago.

So basically before going into specific detail , let me just say that English is not my home language and that I also don't want to share my age or name or anything like that but I'll say I'm in my teens now and iv'e had problems with dpdr related symptoms for over 2-3 years now I think.

Background

Basically , for about 3 years ago I went to a horror house with my dad and I did a few of them actually before I derealized. Being new to it , I had a panic attack. I felt isolated from my surroundings , couldn't speak as it was like listening to someone else , couldn't feel my hands and I was very disoriented.

I experienced these episodes during specific events like over stimulation or being extremely tired and at last , physical problems like injuries or vomiting but the episodes would usually last about 3 hours or until I got sleep.

In april of 2023 I was having PE class and got hit in the head with a softball and zoomed out pretty badly but it is what happened a week later that got me in trouble. A week later in the cafeteria with my friends I was grabbing some chicken when I just felt like I sank out of my body a bit and I had like zoomed out (a bit) but it wasn't the worst ever but I experienced social troubles , focusing issues and got depressed because I felt detached and I wanted my old life back.

I told my mother at the time and we discussed my symptoms and talked with a phycologist and they said it was probably just stress from school and it would loose of later. Quite frankly it did NOT in any way get better including the fact that I also had a lot of anexiety that year and covid i think .

I learned to appropriate myself to this but it really has annoyed me and I can't go to the cinema or over stimulating events cause I'll just completely zoom out.

MY CURRENT CONCERNS AND STRUGGLE

I have been sick the last 3 weeks as I'm writing this. First I got the cold , then I got some sort of flu as my stomach was on fire and then I'm pretty sure I got covid-19 upon that and now I am currently having some sort of calcici or Niro virus as I have vomitted 2 times today already and I have not had like a single sick day this whole year more than when I've had migraines.

Since Monday I zoomed out badly on the afternoon and the same thing happened on Tuesday. I just slept on it but now since like wensday I've had super hard derealization, I've just had temporary blackouts from my surroundings, I've not been able to feel like myself , my voice feels so detached from me and I've had a bit rubbed vision with objects feeling stretched in my eyesight , I just completely screened of from my surroundings. It's been hell to say the least. Is it going to be like this ? What should I do ? I really need some advice

I can’t keep doing this on my own

I often feel like I’m in a dream.. everything around me is hazy. I live in my head and not present or grounded in reality. When I go out especially, it feels weird and like I’m in a dream. Most days feel like I’m living underwater. I’ve thought it may be dpdr.. idk what the cure for it is and why it’s like this. Does trauma/grief play a part? I had a tendency to feel like this in big/loud/crowded spaces, but it’s gotten worse. It feels like it more especially after Covid and grieving over the loss of my sibling, moving 3 times suddenly, losing my dog, losing all my friends and purpose in life. Everyone just moving ahead in life and I can’t wait to get out of here. I’ve been pretty isolated for the past decade. I’d say I never had more than 3 friends at a time and I haven’t had a true friend in years.. probably since 2020 actually. Anyone feel the same? What did you do about it?

This will be my last post here

So I had this 7 years ago, and I was fully recovered until May this year where I had very bad health anxiety and low sleep and everything came back. It was disaster I didn't know how to deal with it anymore and I thougt everything is back. ugly feeling as hell. One dude helped me since he recomended a book called "DP manual". I know maybe some of you heared about it

Anyway, It took me like 20 days of listening everyday ( I really wanted it was enjoyable) and following his incturtions until I came back to 40 % which was good to start doing other activity. Anyway I went on vacations chilling with friends just like I used to. I'm know 80% healed in 4 or 5 months, still making bad mistakes trying to fight feeling which doesn't work and it won't work. I told myself when I get back to normal I will come here to tell you about it

So go get ab ook and follow fucking rules, this is not promotion, I will leave 10 golden rules here what is in book, but I will highly recommend you to do that it will help you, and no It won't stay permanent and yes, it's just anxiety. Wish you good luck

Rules:

1. STOP RESEARCHING THE CONDITION

2.STOP TALKING TO PEOPLE ABOUT IT
3.BE ACTIVE AND SOCIAL
4. GET UP IN THE MORNING
5. STOP LOOKING FOR SOLUTIONS EVERYWHERE
6. STOP BLAMING YOURSELF
7. STAY OCCUPIED
8. EXERCISE
9.NO DRUGS, NO PORN
10. REMEMBER HOW YOUR RECOVERY WILL WORK

LMK if i need to send you a book

title describes how i feel, depressed, brain fog, memory issues, confused, anxiety, can't do normal life, i even don't have the energy to write this i feel trapped on a nightmare that i can't escape, everything feels scary and maddening, i want to cry but i can't and when i wake up i feel very tired... i've been like this every day and every moment for 6 years now... idk what to think or do. I went to multiple doctors, brain scan but everything is ok. idk what to feel, never this happened to me before, this is weird this is something my brain never experienced before and the fact i'm still here 6 years ago is susprising. Every day is a loop, i can't remember yesterday, can't remember things i did 5 seconds ago, i just live and live, i'm in a state that i'm not aware of anything...

Hi everyone, I hope you people of reddit have a great day.

I cant stop thinking about the fact that i see through my eyes, the fact that i have my POV, but if everyone live life this way why i cant stop thinking about it all seconds that im awake. The only relief is being asleep, as soon as I wake up I obsess about this, the fact that I have my own consciousness and existence. I dont know if this is dp/dr or symptons or should I have writed this on another sub...

okay so it’s actually extremely hard to put into words the way that i’ve been feeling. like usually i feel the basic symptoms of like this isn’t real im trapped in a dream, everything looks like a simulation, stuff like that. but recently ive just been questioning like what even is life? like i’m just perceiving the world and i have thoughts but is that all that life is? everything looks real and stuff but like im kind of just overwhelmed with the concept of “living” and perceiving things. i have no idea if this makes any sense and it genuinely feels more terrifying than just thinking that it’s all a dream because at least with that there’s a thought that like there is a reality but im just not living in it right now. but the way im feeling right now is like this is reality and there’s no other way for me to like “come to” and start perceiving things correctly, im just kinda like is life even a thing at all. i know logically this is probably just dissociating but the symptoms im having right now just don’t feel like anything ive ever felts before. and im scared that everything is just going to devolve and im going to lose all concept of living. i have actually no idea if what im saying makes any sense to you guys but like im wondering if anyone else has felt this way at all? cause i’m genuinely really freaking out that this isn’t even dissociating and im just realizing that life and living isn’t even a real thing lmao. i’m just hoping that someone else has felt a similar way so i know it’s just dissociating lmao

Years ago, a severe panic attack sent me into a very long and very disturbing DP/DR episode; it lasted for about a year. The symptoms have now come back but without the anxiety: instead, they seem to be related to other physical symptoms. I feel like I'm being choked every time I get up and walk for more than a couple of minutes, I feel dizzy, faint, sometimes the pressure in my head is so great I feel like it'll blow up. Ever since these started I I struggle to be present, awake, have trouble focusing on what I'm looking at, have the old 'visual snow', etc. Some days are better than others, but overall I just feel wrong in a way that reminds me of how I felt years ago. Structural MRI was fine, blood tests were fine except for severe vitamin D deficiency and elevated TSH. I've been having heart palpitations for years and I'm considering now that they might have been misdiagnosed as anxiety attacks, but were actually consequences of deficiencies I had not been tested for: perhaps vitamin levels got so low they affected both my endocrine and cardiovascular system. I am writing this to see if there is anyone with similar past or present problems. I find it very hard to function and wonder how much of the dissociation I'm going through is actually DP/DR or a medical issue I should be worried about. And I wonder if anyone else experiencing DP/DR has similar medical problems - I wouldn't go so far as to say they might cause DP/DR, but perhaps they make it worse? Thank you!

Please list down medicine which you have heard works for treating dpdr

What does it feel like to be go back into reality from this state of mind how will I no?

I'm just wondering why I'm kinda stuck in this no man's land. I don't get panic attacks, I don't feel anxious at all - I actually feel very calm. But the emotional numbness and disconnection from self hasn't improved. The only thing I can think of is that there's my deep down trauma that hasn't been fully healed and that's why my mind is still in defense mode. 2 years ago I was an absolute panicked wreck; terrified of the world, of being a live, of reality. I don't fear any of that anymore. It's crazy how much I've healed. I remember sitting on the sofa and being absolutely freaked out that I was alive and stuck in my body, I felt trapped in my own body. I can remember it, but it doesn't feel like it was me experiencing it.

Looking back at this makes me realize how far I've come; from not being able to leave my house, being so scared of the world. Unable to work, drive, go anywhere. I live alone, I own my own company, I'm social, I keep busy and am not in my head nearly as much as I was before. I used to have to plan out every thing I was going to do, for fear of having a panic attack and not being able to escape. I would ruminate all day long, I mean all day; constantly searching for answers and obsessing. I do read Reddit now but maybe 1x per day vs all day long. I'm in my life and living - but the emotional numbness and loss of self are still there. I'm still having trauma / emotional dreams but that's the most bothersome symptom at this point. I haven't had a panic attack or any sort of fear of physical sensations in a year or more. I know im healing because when I look back, that's when I see the major progress I've made, it's so slow and gradual - you don't notice it until a lot of time has passed. I just want to regain myself and my ability to feel. Has anyone else been in this similar state and got better? I don't feel like I can relate to most of the posts here anymore because I'm not in a state of anxiety or panic, I guess I just have a lot of repressed emotions that need to be processed before the defense of DPDR will let up

We already know dpdr is not psychosis. This is described everywhere and every day people who are not doing proper research do comfort seeking on reddit. Also typical dpdr behavior of course. But this week I have dealt with someone who actually was getting into a psychosis and she had absolutely NO IDEA she was acting off. No idea at all. She was delusional but completely convinced of them. She wasn’t aware at all of how off she was acting. She wouldn’t have been able to go on Reddit and describe her delusions, she was just in it.

I hope this helps someone…and saves a few psychosis posts on this sub…

While I'm so much better than I was a year ago, and 2 years ago - I'm still nowhere near myself. I used to get such feelings for the holidays, the season changes, my birthday during Christmas, traveling to the snow, the smells, sounds and feelings.

It's like feeling nostalgic for your own life, your own experience. How many more years am I going to have to live through holidays, seasons and changes that I can't experience? I'm not panicked, I'm not anxious - I'm just not connected to anything or any of my memories, that make everything feel so familiar this time of year.

I miss it all so much. It feels like it's all a million miles away. I don't feel unreal. Fake. Dead etc. I went through all those phases. I can't imagine missing more and more of my life - I honestly can't even believe it's now been the holiday season of 2022, 2023, and now 2024 with this. All the small things in life, they matter. And I miss them all, so much. I can so vividly remember traveling, how the evenings would feel, how my life used to feel, how I used to feel and who I used to be. How mornings felt, how getting on an airplane felt, how I experienced this beautiful planet. I can't feel any of it. I'm not anxious, I'm not fraud, or scared. I'm just completely depersonalized, all the complex layers of life and its experience, I've become a one note person. Everything about me and how my past life was experienced - is gone

Yesterday, I had a very bizarre experience, and I think it was an entirely mental panic attack paired with severe dissociated. I was all alone, as I have been for most days, because my boyfriend works a weird shift (2 p.m. - 10 p.m., got to love blue collar workers). For a month straight, I have been panicking about whether or not I will get out of this (if it even is DPDR) and then yesterday I felt like I was going to snap. I started having the worst intrusive thoughts, like "what if I believe my thoughts and go entirely insane and hurt someone?" and then was having intrusive images and urges with it. I literally was so scared that I thought I had to go to the hospital but took a walk and went to my parents. I've spent every hour that I have been awake looking up stuff about psychosis and schizophrenia and am terrified.

I can't stop asking people if they think I have it--I literally called my psychiatrist today and she asked me a series of questions. "Do you see things? Do you hear things? Do you think your TV is talking to you? Are you having disorganized thoughts?" All of which I said no to. I have been in such a severe state of anxiety since last night after further researching psychosis. I've been taking 5 mg of Lexapro for a week. I woke up at 8:44 a.m. (I don't even know how I remember this, lol) with the worst racing thoughts about whether or not I was mentally sound and my heart POUNDING. I texted my mom freaking out and she told me to call the psychiatrist. My psychiatrist wants me to take 10 mg of Lexapro, and I'm scared it is just going to make my anxiety worse. She tried to tell me to start Abilify with it, but I told her absolutely not. I am scared these medications are going to make me worse.

I have spent every waking moment today researching psychosis and am convinced I somehow believe my thoughts. I am so scared I believe I am in a dream or in another universe or something, it is literally scaring me. The unfamiliarity that DPDR is giving me is not helping whatsoever. I didn't eat yesterday and barely ate today, and I am genuinely terrified. I don't want to be in a dream or in another universe, I want my life back. I feel like I have lost everything--my family, my boyfriend, my personality. I feel so alone. The intrusive thoughts scare me so much. I want my life back and I DO NOT WANT PSYCHOSIS. I am so terrified.

i know its such a basic question with dpdr, if something is wrong with the brain. But seriously, i dont have headpressure or anything, but it feels stuck or clocked on the sides of my brain.

I had dpdr before, but it came back due a trigger. It came back even worse. I feel anxiety, but i know that there is no freakin danger. I can’t get my brain off the panic loop. I have constant nightmares or existential thinking. Right now, i have to function for my family.

I would say that there is a miscommunication between my brain & myself. Idk where my fuckik brain is going. Insane intrusive and irrational thoughts. I know you could just say: thoughts are just thoughts but they feel so fuckin real. Yesterday i had an intrusive thought that it is so fuckin weird to be human. If it would be a thought by itself. Thats okay. Its the imaginative + „explainative“ feeling that makes things so scary in a way that it makes no sense for my brain. The worst part is… IT comes automatically. Trick here would be just letting this weird feeling thought passing by, but its hard.

I'm Writing this In hopes that I will get assurance and clarity, An understanding that it's closer to truth

I think psychedelics triggered my depersonalization And de realization This and also the hindu philosophy That I studied a lot which says The world is not real, And that our individual personality is also make belief and unreal.

I had a mushroom experience where I felt like. I woke up from the dream as infinite Consciousness. And my mundane human life was just. Make belief. I feel Like I learned hidden knowledge about existence that I wasn't supposed to. Kind of like eating for the tree and knowledge.

As I was detaching from earthly existence, All objects and experiences And physical sensations were fading away, As I was floating up into infinite consciousness existence Like a helium balloon, with no ground. It was disturbing because I W a s So light, That I couldn't feel anything, Couldn't see anything I couldn't hear anything There was only Light, There was nothing else, But my awareness.

Where is the ground to our being? Is it possible for us to be grounded in eternal peace And assurance?

What am I just doomed to be trapped in existence eternally?

Did god create this universe And it's inhabitants to escape himself? Or did he create Out of fufullment and wholeness?

Or maybe it's My ego Projecting onto God? Maybe this feeling was just some kind of illusion or hallucination. Is existence inherently benevolent and whole?

Is there any hope of universal balance harmony and peace?

Is there a ground of being? Can we be peace and grounded in the self?

Or is existence doomed

I asked too many questions, why oh why did I not stay in the dream?

Could anyone who had took this medication for DPDR explain their experience with this med?

It’s my birthday in 1 hour and I wish I could feel more like myself more like it’s really now and just enjoy moment, stop thinking so much about existence and putting myself into depersonalisation I just want to be normal on this day with it, just feel like oh wow I’m 18 it’s cool. For now I feel like I will regret tommorw that I couldn’t enjoy it makes me sad and my family puts so much effort into it

i always say this and i will say it again..im not diagnosed so idk what really is wrong with me. i feel so weird just being alive and being me. its becoming unbearable to think about my existence. i feel like im a fucking brain trapped in a fucking body and nothing is real. i constantly look around myself and i get confused by what i see. its like i shounldnt be alive. the fact that theres everything instead of nothing is so scary. i wanna live a normal life and i cant do anything about it cause i will forever feel trapped in my body. i also feel weird being around people especially my family…i need serious help and i am so fucking scared..please

I'm 16 and I have had social anxiety since I have memory. It might sound not that incredibly terrible, but it has completely traumatized me, specially because it was severe and I'm convinced mine has a biological origin

During my childhood I had multiple anxiety attacks because of it. I never received the right diagnosis, which worsened everything, there are lots of circumstances that led me to not be helped, one of them an ASD misdiagnosis.

Everything went downhill after COVID, I couldn't handle it anymore, I have lived in constant depersonalization for 4 years, I lost my feelings, my motivation, my energy, I became apathic, my dopamine is destroyed and can't feel pleasure/interest anymore... I feel really numb and absent, my brain just can not understand cognitively what is going on anymore, I don't get anxious at all, I just feel dead and a zombie, I'm even having trouble to write this. I don't care about nothing anymore, I don't feel human, I can not even remember how I used to feel pre-DPDR. What if it's a unsolveable trauma?

At the moment I'm taking an exposure theraphy, and meds, but I feel like nothing is working or will, like how am I supposed to improve? Exposure theraphy this, exposure theraphy that... dissasociating has become an habit anyways and ISSR's aren't working. What should I do? I feel like it's way too late, will I really recover?

Feeling alive and "real" when driving my car recklessly. When ruining stuff, wrecking stuff. I ruined many things when downtown being drunk.

Many years ago, I drove mother's car off road, pulled hand-brake, got stuck, had to call for assistance. Car repair was costly. It was an expensive affair.

Also, I like provoking people. When a child, I would pick fights with classmates. Provoking teachers.

Anyone relate?

(F,25)After some changes in my life and breaking up with my boyfriend, plus I finished college and came back to where I lived, my disorder, depression, anxiety and the rest relapsed. It's weird that I'm here again.. advice?

it is prescripted by my doctor. what experience you have on it?

I’ve struggled with derealization for 6 and a half years now, starting in spring of 2018 from some weed. Ive gotten better (maybe 60-70% recovered) but I still struggle with almost constant dissociation, horrible memory issues and the whole perception of time thing. The emotional blunting is also taking a big toll too, not feeling anything when hugging someone really sucks. Things still don’t feel real unless I put a lot of effort into grounding myself, but I feel like I only “come Back” for a second or two, then it’s right back to disassociating. Like everyone says, I feel like my brain will never fully recover but I hear a lot of stories of people who do pull out of this state of mind.

After ignoring it for so long, trying the whole “don’t give it attention” thing, it’s hard to believe this won’t be permanent even though I know it won’t be.

For the people who have recovered, what helped you the most?

I'm on Guanfacine at 2mg per day and it's been about a week. Apparently I'm supposed to notice a difference quickly...but yeah it's not doing anything.

So wondering what I can ask my psych to let me try next.

Ok so I (20f) have basically had issues with I describe it as being high without the good parts. They started when I was in highschool but like got way worse when I was actually smoking weed. It feels exactly how I say it. It feels like I'm high. It usually happens when my anxiety spikes but like the past year it's gotten to the point of just randomly happening and garenteed to happen like once a day and I just figured it was dissociating but it's not?! Kinda confused on that part. I mean it's happening rn. I feeling I'm not actually in my body and that I'm just well floating I can think mostly normally but it's very one track and one task at a time you give me to many and I just error completely to the point I'm purely floating. Sorry if my wording sounds wrong or like weird it's 5:15 am for me

https://youtu.be/ciEgEe_QlH0?si=faSSSeK0kenqVpbM