I feel nothing since I started mood stabilizers, no happy, no excitement and no energy.

I can feel negative emotions, sad, angry and anxious though.

Wtf, what gives? Is this numbness from meds or am I underwater again and I didn't see it happening (depressed)

How did you feel?

Does anyone else have predominantly anxiety more so than depression with there bp2? I’m diagnosed bp2. My issue has always been more anxiety. I do end up depressed but only after going through unreal bouts of anxiety. And my anxiety isn’t just generalized. It’s all the anxiety’s. I catch breaks when I’m manic yet it’s always short lived. No more than a week or 2. Then back to the anxiety/ depression! Can anyone relate?

For those that have experienced this, do they happen out of the blue for you or is there usually a trigger?

Not exactly venting more like hoping to open up a discussion about this: how do you feel about your illness? Ive known I was bipolar since I was 12. 12, you say? Not possible Research suggests that people can exhibit signs of bipolar as early 15, and even earlier. At 12, my dad said it was like watching someone turn a switch in me. I went from being a, well not the easiest child to raise due to adoption and some issues before said adoption, but anyways. Went from climbing trees to taking a blade to my skin. I have had this illness, as well as a myriad of other illnesses, for 16 years now. It's honeslty has been hell. The mix of everything is, too much at times. Yet I endure. As far as bipolar goes, it's not a cake walk. But have hope , those who suffer from just bipolar. Even if one suffers from two, three disorders. It's doable. Much easier said than done, believe you me, i know. I hope I'm not coming off as "could be worse, boo hoo be more strong" or discredit anyone's pain and journey Anyways I have come to find a beauty in being bipolar. Guys. Look at this way: We have a gift. We have experience and feel some of the most amazing things and can do incredible things whilst manic. Now, flip that and we know how to fucking suffer! We know what it's like to want to die but just keep living even when it's probably one of not if the most painful things you'll ever do For me, it makes me realize to appreciate life. We see things and aspect of shit normies don't. We ebb and flow like the ocean tide, and we are just as powerful and strong too. Much love on your journey 🖤🫀

I enjoy my High phases, I get creative and I work on projects. Recently had a tour in another country. Im a performance poet from Africa. I make so much progress.

And then My low phases come with a Vengeance. I lose interest in everything, I stop my work outs and I seem to not care about anything and I isolate myself. My depressive lows go for 1 month and the longest I've had was close to 4 months. Advice or tips on how to handle the low phase. It's the worst

I have accepted that Highs and Lows are part of the game but how can I increase the period it takes in my Highs and decrease the period of my lows.

Hi, I'm peeing a lot and the doctors can't find why. Anyone have an issue with this medication? If so, how did you resolve it? I'm on 200mg if it helps.

My whole life ive visibly struggled with mental health. Ive been struggling with anxiety for most of my life, ive seen therapists and stuff, but even then, i always felt like something was off. I started being depressed when i was 16 mostly during the winters. Ive asked my dad (doctor) to help me access a psychiatrist to get some type of prescription for whatever i was having and he always refuses bc “pills dont help everything”. Whenever i was feeling depressed, my parents would always tell me it was bc i wasnt doing enough sports, not eating healthy, or on my phone too much. Nonetheless, despite being horribly depressed for a big part of my life, ive always been able to keep up with school and get good grades and be overall pretty organized and appear to be doing well socially. I was like the golden child compared to my sister who has severe ADHD and struggled at school, had behavior issues and was all over the place. Summer of 2021, i went absolutely bonkers, and im pretty sure i had my first hypomanic episode then. Everyone around me noticed i was acting different and recklessly. I started law school in sept 23’. Last winter, i failed at class for the first time in my life and it made me extremely suicidal. I couldnt bear it anymore, i told my dad i was going to the no apt clinic and getting a prescription or else i was killing myself. He was like omg no dont go there they can fuck you up and he finally referred me to his hospital’s psychiatrist. Saw him in april for the first time and he diagnosed me with bp2 and gave me meds. I was so relieved of finally having an answer to all of my issues. At the same time, i feel extremely resentful and angry towards my whole family for completely disregarding me my whole life despite showing obvious symptoms that something was wrong. The worst part is when i told them about my diagnosis, it was a shock to them, they lowkey didnt believe me for a few months. Anyways, idk what to do with my anger, idk how to bring it up to them. Do you guys feel the same? What did u guys do in ur situations?

Hi all!

I just wanted to pop in and share my story, because this ilness can be so scary when its first diagnosed or when you hit a rock bottom.

I got diagnosed at 28, a little over a year ago. I was on a full sick leave, I was not functional anymore and had thoughts of giving up on everything. I started my meds and had phone calls with a mental health nurse every week.

Beginning of year 2024 I was back to work, doing a 15h work week. I started therapy and we started to gradually increase my work hours to 22h and then 30h. I had weekly or biweekly chats with my boss to make sure I had an okay work load.

I found my current cocktail of meds around july, and continued therapy after my summer holiday. Went back to a full 40h work week starting from august.

During the year I took for my health I blew through my savings, which I did not have that much to begin with. I felt bad about it, anxious too, but my friends told me that I was investing in myself.

I look back on where I was a year ago, not being able to work at all, depressed, lost all appetite, stressed, scared of starting my meds, in denial of my diagnosis, sad and upset…

…to now: Working full time, accepted my diagnosis, doing therapy, taking my meds, tracking my mood and being a lot more compassionate with whatever my mood is. Enjoying hobbies and time spent with friends. Being able to focus at work and being able to handle personal challenges.

I’m extemely lucky to have close friends, a great doctor, a therapist, a psyciatrist, and a flexible boss.

My therapist says my BP2 is well managed a the moment. Words I had no idea I could hear a year from my diagnosis.

If there is anything I can advice on is to try and accept all the help you are given ❤️ we’ve got this!

Hi all!

Recently put on Epillim/ sodium valproate (600mg split am and pm) and wondering what others experience on it? I've been on it maybe a week or two? And I'm pairing it with a tricyclic antidepressant.

One thing is that i'm noticing I'm more tired? Is this something others experience? I struggle waking up a bit and getting motivated is harder too. However I also have a bunch of other stuff happening (exams) that may contribute to this.

Is there anything I should be looking out for? I don't have a proper appointment with my psych until end of January. Fully aware everyone will react differently to Medication (I've been on enough to know) but curious what might pop up more commonly :)

Cheers!

I get really hyper and anxious and there’s nothing else that seems to fix it.

Hello friends I have been recently diagnosed and I’m still just….. confused. I knew for years I had issues but couldn’t ever get to a doctor from fear. Eventually they locked me up at the grippy sock hotel back in September of this year. They declared me as Bipolar 1 and 2 borderline both. I’m sure that’ll change eventually. I think I’m bipolar 2 100%. I have other issues and I keep seeing “with bipolar you have other mental issues along side it” So I have had suspicion I am autistic, maybe ADHD, who knows what else.

Again, I’m so confused!

Am I supposed to just “feel normal” like other people when I’m on meds? Am I even on the right meds? How do I know??? When do I know I’m in a crisis??? I’m 27 - reaching 28, I’ve “managed it” unmediated for years so I just don’t know what’s a good normal me, and what’s bipolar me??? Is there literature I should be reading on this? Do I just talk to my doctors about it? Idk idk idk

I’m taking a cocktail of meds I haven’t seen anyone else talk about :( so it really makes me think my meds aren’t “for me”?

Oxcarbazepine 450 mg BID Quetiapine 400mg Benztropine .5 mg for twitching because one of the meds makes my hands switch now Trazadone 50 mg for sleep because nothing helps me

I just start screaming and yelling at people now. The other day I was screaming at this lady in her car to hurry up and back out. How “it’s not a bus if you can’t drive. Don’t” I’ll get angry and just start screaming. Then fine 5 minutes later. I’ve “experienced mania and hypo” but it’s still confusing. It’s a game to spend my entire bank accounts worth. It’s hard to take showers and brush my teeth. It’s hard to care for my animals now. I don’t make food for myself so I’ll go days with only cereal as my single meal for the day. I rarely sleep. On days where I slept an hour I feel totally fine. Then other days I’m falling asleep driving. Never actually fallen asleep but I have to physically hold my eye lids open while screaming bloody murder to keep myself awake. I’ve tried to kms a few times. Most recent was the gun pulled to my skull in September. I’ve threatened to end it multiple times since. I had horrific post partem symptoms and even when pregnant I was horrible. Surprised I had my daughter. I love her but I’ve also screamed at her. She’s 2 now.

I guess can someone give me a solid run down of wtf is wrong with me in a way I understand. I’m tired of looking at studies and whatever else and just. Idk it’s not been helpful.

The end

For those of you who were diagnosed while in college, would you mind sharing what your experience was like? Did you decide to plow ahead and finish school on time? Take time off? Drop out? What motivated you to make that decision? How did it work out for you?

If you took time off, how did you fill up that time? And where did you live?

Do you think you made the right decision? Any and all experiences and advice welcome.

Diagnosed within the last 3 months, moved because of the episodes and money issues. I just started a new job (that I hate) and have had to call out the past three shifts because of a really bad down. Other than that though, the work anxiety is soooo bad. How do you do it?

Some days I'm in a low mood/depressed from morning until evening. In the evening it's like the head fog clears and I get more energy and sometimes I feel like I'm back to my old self and being silly, funny, maybe hyper.

• I am not sick, I don’t need help! (X. Amador & L. Johanson)
• The bipolar workbook: Tools for controlling your mood swings 2nd edition (R. Basco)
• Overcoming bipolar disorder: A comprehensive workbook for managing your symptoms and achieving your life goals (M. Bauer, E. Ludman, E. Greenwald & M. Kilbourne)
• New hope for children and teens with bipolar disorder (B. Birmaher)
• Break the bipolar cycle: A day-by-day guide to living with bipolar disorder (E. Brondolo & X. Amador)
• Living with someone who’s living with bipolar disorder: A practical guide for family, friends, and coworkers (M. Cohen & C. Lowe)
• The depression workbook: A guide for living with depression and manic depression 2nd edition (E. Copeland & M. McCay)
• End the insomnia struggle: A step-by-step guide to help you get to sleep and stay asleep (C. Ehrnstrom & L. Brosse)
• Loving someone with bipolar disorder: Understanding and helping your partner (A. Fast & D. Preston)
• Mind over mood: Change how you feel by changing the way you think 2nd edition (D. Greenberger & A. Padesky
• The bipolar teen: What you can do to help your teen and your family (J. Miklowitz & L. George)
• Why am I still depressed?: Recognizing and managing the ups and downs of bipolar II and soft bipolar disorder (J. Phelps)
• The bipolar II workbook (M. Roberts, G. Sylvia & N. Reilly-Harrington)
• Welcome to the jungle: Everything you ever wanted to know about bipolar disorder but were too freaked out to ask (T. Smith)
• The mindful way through depression: Freeing yourself from chronic unhappiness (M. Williams, J. Teasdale, Z. Segal, & J. Kabat-Zinn

anyone with bipolar/manic depression if you feel comfortable could you tell some things you've done in a mood swing? one of my friends says they are rational thoughts but i don't agree and i need some examples. i have manic depression but it's not as bad and my mood swings aren't as bad as others.

When you have been admitted to the ward in the hospital. So what has been the reason or the difference that you manage at home? Psychosis or suiside?

I've been seeing my psychiatrist and she suspects I do have bipolar 2 and did prescribe me lamictal and seroquel as needed for sleep.

Here's the confusing part when it comes to PMDD so I'm not misdiagnosed: I have the mirena IUD and I don't have periods, but sometimes I feel like I get PMS symptoms (moody/irritable, bloated, acne, fatigue), but this is hard to track since I don't actually bleed.

I have good days and bad days. I had a panic attack one day, had a day of derealization afterwards and day after that had hypomania. I was on cloud 9, spent $1500 a week in shopping, slept maybe 4 hours a night, was signing, dancing, talking fast. This is why she thinks I have BP2. Now I'm back to low mood :(.

What would you do in my situation? Go ahead and take the BP2 diagnosis and mood stabilizer or seek other options? I know Reddit is not medical advice, I'm just curious to hear other opinions.

It has actually been almost 2 months...I thought I would feel excited to see him but all I feel is pain and rage. He is still in love with someone else but loves me too...he isn't acting on it...but I feel crushed and it is hitting me harder now that he is home. He had been wanting a divorce and did not love me when he got psychosis...but now he says he loves me...I expected to feel happy but I cried for an hour straight...has anyone experienced this? Will I be able to trust him again...I mean he still "loves" this other person too...

I’m just curious about everyone’s stories. Currently being evaluated for bipolar and would love some in-site on others experience

Thanks!

I'm about to start Lamotrigine, I'm a metal artist (jewelery, scultpure) and am interested to see how others found the dosage climb, and prevalence of hand tremors which i'm somewhat concerned about. It's one of the main reasons I declined Lithium a few weeks ago.

Do you ever reread old journals and be like ..holy crap I was mentally ill. Like in the moment you don’t really feel it, or in my case I was invalidating myself about my symptoms (I was on Zoloft for 3 months and journalling at the tail end of it while heavily drinking and smoking weed). But like man do I not remember any of this

Woke up today and my body is buzzing uncomfortably, I can't focus, I'm roaming about, can't focus on work and at the same time feel like there is acoordinated effort by everythihng and everyone to just piss me off. I fuckin hate that my brain can do this to me I was fine when I went to bed last night and now I have no idea how long this will last. Intrusive thoughs up the wazoo and I'm getting tired at the same time but also don't feel like I can sleep partly for fear of something happening while I'm out. What _would_ happen idk but the paranoia si real today and I just needed to vent. I'm on meds (lamictal/weed for sleep) watch my diet, exercise, I do everything "right" on paper but my brain still wrecks my shit sometimes and I wish I were normal and didnt have to navgate this shit.

I guess I'm lucky that these states don't threaten to fuck up my life in major ways cuz I've managed to learn when I'm in various moods and work to mitigate the effects (something younger me would've _loved_ to know) but the pain of dealing with this is unbearable sometimes. Anyways thanks for listening/reading

Bipolar ex went nuts on me and broke up via ghosting... New relationship MIL suspected bp (either schizoaffective or schizophrenia. Hard to tell bc she refuses to get diagnosed. More info on her on this account if curious). I've got my own mental illness and I'm on vraylar w mild akathisia. Is the inner restlessness + needing to do stuff constantly similar to mania? Just curious. On gabapentin for it and weed helps.

I’ve been really depressed the last few days. Triggered it by drinking I think. This is the first time I’ve been depressed bad since I’ve been on Latuda.

I just really need some support or someone to talk to.

Anyone else have break through depression around this time of year, despite being on meds? Reference I’m 48/F, possibly also going through menopause. Diagnosed with bipolar 2 and currently on 100 SR bupropion and 100mg lamotrigine.

Just wondering if this happens for anyone else? Maybe I should be asking to up my meds. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I was in full rage this morning and then bawling the next… who knows. Thank you for letting me vent here in a safe space.

My cognition is sharply improving. A real wow for me. Still on Lithium, Cymbalta, Trazodone, Temezapem, and Clonzapem.

• Treating bipolar disorder: A clinician’s guide to interpersonal and social rhythm therapy (E. Frank)
• Manic-depressive illness 2nd edition (K. Goodwin & R. Jamison)
• Touched with fire: Manic-depressive illness and the artistic temperament (R. Jamison)
• Night falls fast: Understanding suicide. (R. Jamison)
• Exuberance: The passion for life (R. Jamison)
• Bipolar disorder: A family-focused treatment approach 2nd edition (J. Miklowitz)
• Clinician’s guide to bipolar disorder (J. Miklowitz)
• The bipolar child: The definitive and reassuring guide to childhood’s most misunderstood disorder (F. Papolos & J. Papolos)
• A mood apart: Depression, mania, and other afflictions of the self (C. Whybrow)
• Straight talk about psychiatric medications for kids 4th edition (E. Wilens & G. Hammerness)

• Bipolar Child (www.bipolarchild.com)
• Bipolar Significant Others (www.bpso.org)
• Bring Change to Mind (http://bringchange2mind.org)
• Harbor of Refuge Organization (www.harbor-of-refuge.org)
• Internet Mental Health (www.mentalhealth.com)
• McMan’s Depression and Bipolar Web (www.mcmanweb.com)
• Medline Plus (www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus)
• Pendulum Resources (www.pendulum.org)
• Psycom.net (www.psycom.net/depression.central.bipolar.html)

• Balanced Mind Parent Network (800-826-3632; www.dbsalliance.org/site/PageServer?pagename=bmpn_landing)
• Bipolar UK (www.bipolaruk.org.uk)
• Brain and Behavior Research Foundation (646-681-4888 or 800-829-8289; www.bbrfoundation.org)
• Canadian Mental Health Association (416-646-5557; http://cmha.ca/find-your-cmha)
• Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (800-826-3632; www.dbsalliance.org/FindSupport)
• International Bipolar Foundation (858-598-5967; www.ibpf.org)
• International Society for Bipolar Disorders (www.isbd.org)
• Juvenile Bipolar Research Foundation (914-468-1297; www.ibrf.org)
• Mental Health America (800-969-6642; www.mentalhealthamerica.net)
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (800-950-NAMI [6264]; www.nami.org)
• National Institute of Mental Health (866-615-6464; www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/index.shtml)
• National Network of Depression Centers (734-332-3914; www.nndc.org)
• Organization for Bipolar Affective Disorders Society (403-263-7408; www.obad.ca/about\_us)