I started off with cat scratches at 12-14 , then started smoking and replaced sh with piercings bc of the pain , but I miss the feeling of sh , and burning isn’t doing it anymore . I’m at work rn and after I think I’m gonna start again , but on my wrists this time . I only do it for the aftercare , and thr feeling of accomplishment after

I told my parents about it on Monday, (never past baby cuts, some look worse than others) and they took it really well. but now they're being weird about it. I can tell they still. yknow. love me (have a very good relationship with all of em) but my mum is being wayyyy nicer than usual (she's the one I told), my step mum looks at me differently (not a dirty look per se, but like she discovered I eat worms. just off) and my dad hasn't mentioned it yet. I know it was the right thing to do to tell them, but I feel like ive fucked everything up. before I told them, I felt normal about it ans was accepting of the scars n shit but now I feel weird again. this is probably normal I just wanted to say it to someone who i don't know irl.

Like I feel like if I post here I’m going to accidentally give step by step instructions on how to cut to bone and tell everyone the perfect suicide plan that would work on everyone.

so i got into an arguement online after all these boys came up to me for no reason and starting being rude to me (this happens a lot) and i was rude back and kinda personal about it, which wasn’t needed, and i feel really bad, and usually when i do that i self harm or just because I think im gonna get karma for that because im very naive or im gonna be punished for saying that to someone (like karma or something) so i would self harm a lot in the past to be like ok it’s already done don’t punish me , but i also don’t wanna self harm but i feel so uncomfortable right now.

im gonna make tea and try to forget about it

just kinda need someone to remind me they were rude first but idkk 🫤🫤

So I'm kinda wondering if I'm just totally fucked or is it some type of addiction but I can cut myself out of pure bordome. Like I can idk watch a movie or talk with my friends online and like just do it because I feel like it, because "it gives me that kick". And it's one of the reasons I can't get clean for more than a week cuz like my body is just so desperate to feel that thing that I just do it. It's kinda like stimulants like my body is "hungry" for it. Recently even if I cut myself it like won't be enough like I just want more of that feeling that comes with it. Consequences of that is that I'll just try to cut deeper which I can't cuz of the place I chosed. Like my body is just so eager for that feeling that it just wants it more and more. And I don't rlly know if I'm some kind of masochis or am I addicted or just mentally fucked or maybe is it normal when it comes to self harm.

Ps: sorry for my English it's not my native language

Really what the title says, honestly. Just been going through it the past few days and I don't feel like I have anyone that I can talk too in my corner anymore.

English is not my fl~ Should I tell my therapist I sh even if it’s surface level cuts? I can’t bring myself to cut deeper yet cause I don’t do it for the pain so I can’t take that much of it, but I’m not sure it will stay this way. But still surface level cuts just seem like something everyone could do, like it’s not something useful to diagnose anything

I’ve had a couple shades darker scar on my hand for ages but how do I even make it go away faster? And is there any ways to make those pinkish scars after a styro disappear faster?

I hate that I hate that I hate that with all my life I just don't know why I can't cut whenever I want I feel useless,I wish if I could just stab myself and bleed out till I die Fuck that

I (27f) used to self-harm when I was 17-19 and my entire left arm is covered in scars from the shoulder down. Although I still struggle with the desire and urge to hurt myself, I have deep regret over my existing scars and wish I had never done it. It’s such a cliché-thing to say ”you will regret it later in life” but boy is that true. I struggle with low self-esteem and confidence, and have many fears that I will never be hired (although ironically I have a job right now), that no one will ever love me and that I will be a terrible role model for my future children. Bottom line is, I want to get rid of my scars. I have been looking into scar reduction treatments for the last year, especially into laser therapy. I know it’s expensive, that you have to do it many times and usually find a good solid place that has experience doing it. My question is though, does it actually work? Has anyone here done it and can they tell me about their experience? How many times did you do it, how much did it cost and did it actually help? Many thanks in advance for answers!

not really sure if tis falls under vent flair.

one of my parents noticed a cut on one of my legs and said that it was good i was starting therapy again and to just clean my wounds. i have been feeling conflicted with that response as it seems like therapy is the only way to get better I'm not sure if talking would be better but i also know i have no plan to tell my therapist anything apart from this i don't think i really need therapy sorry for whatever this is

Ive got a couple scars that are pretty newly healed, without any scabs or anything, and ive just realized that these are beginning to raise very very subtly, and become itchy again. Is this normal?

I feel like it's unjustified since I just graduated from a pretty demanding highschool, but to be honest I don't feel good. It was just a stupid, really tiny thing in my day that made me realize just how low I think of me. And that's it. I've been clean for like a month and a half, but even tho I just got out of a therapy session, I really feel the urge to cut. I'm out of my psychiatric medication bc I'm broke so that doesn't help either. Anyway, do you have any advice, or something? To keep me from doing it, I mean.

it’s few hard for me to do my schoolwork it’s insane i physically can’t do it it hurts to even think about it my grades are falling fast idk what to do it’s one of the reasons i cut myself idk i had to say this made i’m needy idk why i do this

Hi! Honestly, I'm going crazy. My last wounds are kinda itchy and to make it worse, I react allergic to band aids. Still had to use them, since the cuts were kinda deep. But now those allergic reactions are itching. My old scars are itching and the new wounds are like stinging/itching. I wanna go to bed, but i don't wanna be irresponsible and leave them open. So I put a bandage on them but the itchiness hasn't stopped. I just wanna cut my arm again. Just till everything stops. I hate sh. And I do it again and again. It's so much worse lately. Does anyone has tips for the itchiness? Really, I would appreciate it so much : (

I have no other coping mechanism, cutting is all I have, I threw away all my razors and it's been 7 days and I've not been getting urges for the past few days because I've been happy but at the same time I've been yearning to hurt myself again but I wouldn't describe them as urges, just burn myself or something I just need something to hurt myself but I cant its painful, it feels so wrong I just want to hurt but I promised so I literally can't, I wonder how long I have to be put through this till the need to harm myself fades away, it feels so wrong not being able to hurt myself and I don't get why so much this time when I've went somewhat longer periods of time without doing it.

It's been long since I have an actual win like this. This very week I was at my lowest point, but today I had a driving lesson with my instructor and he made my day. He is also a personal coach (not for me, he is just my instructor) so he is always treating in such I was I feel so safe, it's weird to say it but he is more of a father figure than anything.

He told me I was a very valuable person along other things and I don't know, I think I needed that today. I don't know how if this will happen again, caring for my own hygiene has always been a problem to me and going through sh was Mt only way of getting a shower at least, because the fear of infection or my family seeing my clothes bloody won over whatever happens in my brain. This is the actual first time I decided to shower by myself just because I wanted to and ni harm was done. So I wanted to state this victory. Yay for me.

I've been with this therapist for around 2-3 months now and the main focus is my self harm and I haven't found it to be helpful whatsoever yet and I don't really trust/feel comfortable with him but I'm trying to give it time and give him the benefit of the doubt but after our last session I feel like he doesn't understand the severity of my self harm and why I'm so worried about it escalating. I read the note he wrote after our last session and he completely misunderstood everything I said when I was talking about how my self harm has changed and escalated over the last few weeks and months and now I get a feeling he really has no idea how medically severe my self harm actually is and that my worry about causing serious damage is realistic and not at all weird. I hate discussing the physical damage I do because self harm is self harm and it shouldn't matter if I'm scratching the surface and not drawing blood or if I'm cutting into muscle and severing multiple arteries each time but I do feel like understanding the escalation and the genuine danger I am putting myself in is important for him to be able to work with me and understand my situation so I want him to know but I get so uncomfortable trying to describe my wounds. I hate talking about them because I feel so pretentious when I talk about different anatomical structures and use the proper terminology but I really have no other way of describing it so I end up just struggling and never actually properly describing it. So I think he just doesn't know cause I've used such vague language when talking about my wounds.

Just saying stuff like "wide" or "deep" and that I now do wider and deeper wounds but those terms could mean anything and to different people they mean different things. So I was considering showing him a timeline type thing with the escalation but that also feels wrong and kinda fucked up. I document everything obsessively related to my self harm and so I made a document with how many times I've been to the hospital for sutures, dates for when different things have happened, pictures of what my self harm normally lookd like a few weeks ago compared to today (with dates), etc and I kind of want to show it to him so he truly understands my situation but it also feels so wrong. I am very private with my self harm and I don't share these pictures with anyone other than occasionally it's helpful I show the people who help me with the physical treatment of my wounds but they already see my wounds in person and they take pics of them too so I don't feel as weird doing that.

I relapsed recently after 5 years of being clean. I don't know how I ended up like this again, how it could have gotten so bad. I have more friends and people I trust than I did back then, but ironically I still don't feel like I can tell any of them. One of my closest friends made fun of me for it all those years ago and even though I know they changed I can't confide in them, my boyfriend would be devastated and he has said in the past that if I hurt myself again, he would hurt himself, so I am incredibly scared of telling him. Since there is noone I want to burden with this information, I suppose I am burdening strangers on the internet with it now because I had to get it off my chest.

Do you guys tell your loved ones about your self harm?
The fact that I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to a single person in my surroundings is making me question whether my relationships have relied too much on whatever mental stability I apparently possessed in the past few years or whether these are just my insecurities and it's on me for not trusting them enough or not wanting to burden them.

TW: ptsd

I have no one to talk to about this so here I am. I am 55 days clean. This is huge for me because I used to cut myself multiple times a day. Recently everything has gotten worse. I had a recent ‘trauma anniversary’. To put it in normal terms- the date of the event that I have ptsd from came around. Anyways this has made me spiral.

My ptsd related issues have been bad for a while but just this week it has gotten really bad. I had a big test today and right at the beginning I went to the bathroom. Something (that I should’ve known to avoid) triggered me. It was really bad. I was having such bad flashbacks. I basically just left my body. I was shaking so bad and I was so dizzy that I walked back to class holding on to the wall. I ended up just sitting there for a long time just trying not to cry.

Other recent triggers have caused my Tourette’s to get really bad. It’s hard to admit it because I try to act confident but I am so embarrassed and ashamed of my Tourette’s. It’s the first thing people judge me by. People just stare at me and judge me all the time at school and in public. Multiple people mocked me and made fun of me to my face today. For a while my tics were not that severe but now they are really bad. I know it’s stupid because I can’t control it but my tics make me feel ugly and disgusting. I don’t even want to leave my house.

To add on to all of this lovely stuff my scars are fading. Idk why but it makes me want to sh.

Anyways, to sum it up, my mental state has turned to shit. I am super depressed and my urges are coming back after not having them for a while. I feel like cutting myself is the only thing that will make me feel better. I really need help.

I'm a clown. In real life and on the internet. I'm apathetic. I'm a bad person. But I'm rlly lonely and I feel like I have no one to rlly talk to. Like I'm so messed up I'm afraid to be myself around anyone. I dont know how to talk to peoplel online. Sorry that's just a warning. I hate when people talk to me and realize I'm messed up so they leave. I prefer they know before hand so no one is surprised. anyways if anyone wants to talk lmk ty. if this broke a broke mb

Like the title says i have been self harm free for 4 days! Idk how i did it but if you’re struggling just know you are not alone and you can stop! I know this isn’t much but i am proud. Anyway stay strong, stay positive, and keep trying to get better <3

i’m 18 and i’ve been self harming since i was 12 and it got really bad ages 14-16 like i was doing it every single day every chance i got and then i was fairly clean for a few years, only a few swipes when the urge got really strong. i’ve now been clean for about 4 months (since me and my ex broke up) but recently jesus christ i have wanted to hurt myself so bad and i know that when i do i won’t be able to stop and it’s driving me insane i need to do it so so bad

I tried so many things, distracting myself, Journaling, Calling friends, alternatives like snapping rubber bands or drawing on your skin etc.
I even gave away my "main" blades to two seperate friends. Or tried to use something more dull, so even though I'm still doing it, it's not as bad. But I always find something (sharp) to cut myself again.

I had so many scares about cutting too deep, hitting an artery, getting an infection, and every time I told myself that it would be the last time that I would do it. But it never was.

And every time it just gets worse, I use sharper blades, it bleeds longer, I cut more and I get closer to critical Spots like arteries. I guess the last thing is to higher the chances of me accidentally dying.

I recently even made a 'pact' with a friend that I have to pay them 1$ for every time I do it. While this does help a bit, I still am unable to quit, or even just lower the amount of times I do it a substancial amount.

While I have thought about removing all sharp object from my surroundings, that is just not realistic as I live with people who don't know about this struggle, and I also don't want them to know. And I would definetly have to explain this.
And even then, I wouldn't trust myself to not just go out and buy blades just for this.

The only thing I haven't tried is something like therapy, but that is also currently not an option for me.
So I'm just kind of out of options I fear.

Okay guys I think I‘m cooked so I have this one cut which is a bit deeper, it’s also purulent and white/yellowish, won’t stop bleeding too and I‘m fucking dizzy and feel like I need to throw up, is it infected?😭 I really don’t want to go to the hospital but I read it can cause blood poisoning and now I‘m kinda scared lol

went to the hospital last sunday to get stitches coz i cut to beans quite deep and long and was hella gaping. doctor said to get them out after a week so i did and now like 2 days after i got them out the cut is reopening a bit. idek how i just woke up looked at it and its reopened. not anywhere near the size of the original cut dw but like was hoping to have a smooth healing process with the effort of going to get stitches

Not long ago, I cut my thighs. It hurt, but then when I finished and laid down on my bed, I felt very calm and peaceful.. what does it mean..? Why did it happen?