35 and feeling really stuck. Don’t know which way to turn or what next move to make. No kids not married so can go anywhere. I used to just move around and work job to job. Moving to new cities always kept me excited about life. New scenery new people. But now I am ready to make some big changes and start adulting. I feel like I am going through a late quarter life crisis or Existential crisis. I have always been a late bloomer in life so makes sense I’m going through this now when most go through it 5-10 years earlier I just don’t know where to move, which path to take, which career to choose, how to make new friends. I just need a nudge in the right direction. I am just lost. So lost. All my friends stopped talking due to life circumstances. No family (parents died) and just have no guidance or direction or disciple for that matter. I’ve always been a free spirit but now something has to change. I have to get my life together before 40. It’s getting depressing. Advice😞

Most people would love to find both relaxed joy at home and exciting success at work, but with all of life’s demands, it can be tough to juggle everything.

You need to begin by acknowledging that you’re going to be a much happier leader in your business — and much more effective — if you take care of yourself.

Many people talk about “work-life balance”, but it may be better to think of it as “work-life harmony”.

Let’s discuss some tips to help you achieve work-life harmony.

• Make a schedule and stick to it to balance work and personal life effectively 
• Set boundaries with family and friends to maintain focus and productivity 
• Take time for yourself daily to recharge and avoid burnout 
• Delegate tasks whenever possible to reduce stress and increase efficiency 
• Stay organised to avoid feeling overwhelmed and stay on track 
• Avoid overcommitting yourself to maintain a healthy work-life balance 
• Take vacations to increase productivity and creativity levels and avoid burnout

As we conclude this section, I would like to introduce you to Justly, an app designed to assist you on your journey toward achieving balance and reaching your goals.

Achieving a healthy work-life balance is crucial for overall well-being and productivity. 

By implementing these practical strategies you can effectively manage your personal and professional life. For more detailed insights and actionable tips, dive into our full blog on Justly.

I understand I have a problem with discipline, I am distracted by more things: phone, website, different tasks.
sometimes I use method Pomodoro, but it sometimes doesn't work with me.
What advice you can give me to be more disciplined?

30 days is too long to install a new habit. Yes, I know it takes 30 days to install a new habit. 

On the other hand, many of us also get too ambitious that we mistakenly install a new habit every day or every few days. But I’ve found that that ultimately leads to catastrophe as well because you’re doing so much at once, that it all comes crashing down. 

To strike a good balance, I’ve found one change a week to be the most effective. 

Let me explain. 

You have a daily routine. You eat a healthy meal, go for a walk, stretch, take a shower, then you write for 1 hour in your writing habit every day. Great. 

Suddenly you get the idea to add a 1 hour reading habit as it will enhance your career. Great. But don’t install it immediately. 

Wait for the coming Monday to install it. 

Also take Sunday off for reflection, contemplation, relaxation, and organizing. Use Sunday to prepare yourself for the change you will execute Monday onwards. 

Remember, these changes you are making are for the decades to come. When you install a reading habit, you want to install it for at least 1 decade. These are important life decisions when you start to see that these are long-term decisions. So do take some time to see how these decisions feel, before pulling the trigger Monday onwards. 

Every week you can install a new habit, or make a change to an existing habit. 

You could add a Tai Chi habit. That would be adding a brand new habit the coming week. 

Or you could iterate your existing habit. That is, instead of writing non-fiction that you’ve been doing for a while, you write fiction for 1 hour a day instead. 

But one change a week is working amazingly for me, and I had to share it with you guys. 

There’s a concept called “steady pacing”. Part of that means you decide what’s a steady pace of change for you in terms of habit building. Of course, there’s no hard and fast rule that you have to make one change per week. Everyone is different. We all have different circumstances, psyches, etc. so you want to see what works for you, and adapt strategies to fit your lifestyle. But I do see this as something that can work for a large majority of people. 

Then there’s also a concept of “order vs. chaos”. What I’m realizing is that you want to create as much order in your mind as you can (and some chaos too). There are of course many ways to create order in your mind and in your life. But if you consistently make changes once per week, preferably on a given day like every Monday, you a) automate this in your mind, and b) create a steady pace of change as described before, that creates more order. 

You are always in a balancing state of homeostasis, and making one change per week allows you to steadily adjust this balance meter. 

Title. I always had a very good memory, but since recently, it has been going a lot worse. I try to study, and after 1-2 min, I get frustrated for understanding & memorizing nothing. I can still retry, but the results aren't gonna be different.

My memory was as good, so that after 1-3 days, I could understand anything more than my classmates, even versus some of them that could be studying since the beginning of the school year. I do include both interesting and "dumb" subjects. I was just lazy and didn't study. Now that I want to learn a lot of stuff though, my memory seems to have deactivated. It's been like that since last 2 years.

I know where & what to search for topics I'm interested in, I know how to write efficiently etc... it's just my memory. I rly don't know the cause: I sleep well, I eat just fine, I'm not sick, I even started to exercice since a week. My house & room is quiet and clean. I don't get distracted from video games anymore as much as I did in the past, and tbh, I don't even use a mobile phone. Sun sees me, as I get out-home. I have to drink coffee since at least half a year. I'm a lot less stressed as well. The only idea that I haven't tried yet is to make thyroid exams and similar, just cuz I can't afford them. But I doubt it's some medical condition.

So, what is causing my "memory loss"? I'm very willing to solve it quickly since I have no other option than studying now or hopelessly cramming later

If you're in this subreddit, you've probably seen thousands of pieces of advice, thousands of quotes, hundreds of neuroscientific interventions and potential pills to help you 'finally become the person you've always wanted to become.'

Now I dont want to sound too dramatic, but genuinely, nearly all of this is bullshit. The self improvement industry sells you lies left right and centre.

Diagnosing the Bullshit:

Let me explain.

So let's say you are 20 years old. Right now, your brain has spent 20 whole years not only developing, but PERFECTING its neural connections, to make you into the person you are today.

It has devoted quite literally thousands upon thousands of days towards habits in your life that you probably dont even recognise to be 'habits.'

Do you find it easy to buy stuff online? Open the fridge? Turn on your phone first thing in the morning? Walk to the shop to buy junk food? Play video games? Turn on a porn site?

Quite literally anything and everything you do, is a result of fine-tuned neural connections that the brain has perfected because you've done these things so many times consistently.

When you do any task, your brain releases an amount of dopamine. Dopamine isn't the 'happy' chemical that people think it is. It is primarily the neurochemical involved in 'doing things'- so any time you do anything, your brain releases dopamine, so that the next time you do that task, because dopamine helps you to 'do things', by releasing it, the brain reinforces that behaviour, and makes that task slightly easier to do next time you want to do it.

So yeah to reiterate your brain right now is a highly efficient machine, and it does not like to be swayed off course from what it already knows.

Why?

Well as far as your evolutionary brain is concerned, all the habits you've built over your 20 years of life, have allowed you to survive.

Your ancient brain thinks all the things you do, all the junk food you eat, all the bullshit you do, is actually maximising its chances to survive on the Savannah.

Obviously no matter what habits you pick, if you live in a relatively safe country, you probably will survive in the world regardless, but your evolutionary brain doesn't know that. All it knows is that the way you do things right now are optimal for survival.

And that means your brain really fucking loves to do things how it's always done things. It HATES CHANGE. Because change quite literally could be life or death for your brain. So it will fight you tooth and nail to avoid change.

This is where the bullshit of the self improvement industry comes in. 'Change your life in 30 days', 'Change your life in 3 months', 'How I became a disciplined person overnight.'

Everything about your brain hates these statements.

And at this stage you may say, 'Oh but Mr Latter Vehicle 6648, what about David Goggins?' or whatever self improvement person you look up to, who 'changed their life overnight.'

This is going to be controversial, but I think people like Goggins are actually just mentally ill. Dont tune out just yet though, let me explian.

I dont mean mentally ill in a bad way. This isn't to disrespect the work people like him have done. But the ability to just 'flip a switch' and become a hard motherfucker, is so incredibly biologically abnormal, that it must be something insane like 0.00000000001% of people are able to sustain that- and I would imagine their ability to flip that switch is tied to years of hard trauma in their childhood, which most people who've come from a stable background, simply cant relate to. Thats not to discredit people like Goggins, im just saying, I think people like that have a form of 'positively impactful' mental illness.

That's to say, they are mentally ill, but it actually works for their life, so we dont talk about it in those terms. And it makes sense, like why would we create names for mental conditions that help people improve their lives? There's no point.

But it's super important to recognise that these people are not a narrative to base your life on, just like you wouldn't take advice from someone with severe schizophrenia.

So getting back on track here, when you try to implement any piece of advice from the self improvement industry heres how it always goes:

1. You try something new when you're super motivated
2. You completely transform your entire life for a week, 2 weeks, a month, or hell even 2 months for some people
3. Then randomly you wake up one day and its all fallen apart and you cant work out why.

And then you probably spend the next 12 months saying to yourself- 'man I wish I could just get back into that state of mind I had when I was super motivated'- but that state of mind never comes back, and if it does you just end up replaying the whole cycle again, and it falls off like it always does, again.

The reason you 'fall off' as I've mentioned is because your brain HATES change. So if you change everything, you're basically just biding your time, waiting for the day that you run out of cognitive energy to be motivated, and your brain goes back to the safe habits it knows best.

One hard truth you must accept is, your brain has spent 20 fucking years developing and strengthening its bad connections to make you how you are right now, so how the fuck do you expect 30 or even 60 measly days to flip that all around with a stupid '30 day plan.'

What life do you think your brain will pick? The disciplined one that you've tried to stick at for 30 days, or the one that you've hardwired and stuck at for 7 THOUSAND 300 days (20 yrs)?

30 is a very small figure compared to 7300. No wonder you fail to make any progress.

The quicker you accept how your brain works, and remove the ego involved in trying to quickly transform yourself, the quicker you will actually become the person you want to become.

If you ever want to change, you have to accept your brain for what it is and say to yourself 'ok brain, we CAN keep doing things your way, and in fact we are going to embrace things your way, but we are going to ALSO make some minor changes that you won't even notice ok?'

Real Habit Building

And this is where ideas like atomic habits come in. if you want to be the kind of person that goes to the gym, then you need to make changes so so small, but progressive, towards going to the gym, that your brain doesn't even notice you're making these changes.

Now crucially, im going to break down what a habit actually is, because this is another point that the self improvement industry lies to you about.

The self improvement industry has a tendency to call something one habit, when its actually like 12.

Let me explain.

For example, the habit of 'going to the gym', is not one habit. Firstly going to the gym, might involve:

Waking up at a reasonable time (one habit), getting out of bed (two habits), getting your gym clothes on (three habits), getting your keys and wallet/ water bottle (three habits), making sure to pack your gym bag (four habits), locking up your house (five habits), opening the door getting outside when perhaps you dont like being outside (six habits), walking to the gym for an extended period of time of like 5-30 minutes (7 habits), and ONLY THEN when you arrive at the gym, have you completed your seemingly 'one habit'.

No wonder your brain gets overwhelmed and refuses to go to the gym- it's like 7 changes simultaneously all wrapped up in the false assumption it's 1 change.

Lots of people may find that going to the gym is less than 7 habits though, they may find that 'waking up', getting dressed, going outside and walking, is how they can mentally break it down- so more like 3 habits instead.

But however many habits you think going to the gym is, is entirely dependant on just how different your current life is from the life you want to lead. So if your somebody that usually walks to work and is happy waking up at an early hour and is pretty well disciplined in normal ways, then going to the gym may actually even be 'one habit' as people think it is.

But if you're the kind of person that hates being outside, you wake up late every day, you spend multiple hours on your phone, you go to bed late, and you never work out, then going the gym MUST be seen as 7 separate steps, because each one of those steps is unfamiliar to your brain.

It is better to assume your brain is unfamiliar with a task than to assume it can conquer it easily. It is easy to get excited and carried away with the prospect of habit building such that you want to change a million things at once, but it is much more reliable if you change just one thing at a time.

This is where you have to kill your ego and completely detach yourself from results based progress. Please trust me on this, because if you follow my methods, you will be able to maintain any habit you want for the rest of your entire life, so just because it may seem a little slow, it will reap unimaginably large rewards for you for the rest of your life. so just trust me on this, kill your ego, detach yourself from results and be patient.

If your goal is to go to the gym, and this is something entirely unfamiliar to you, you must start with habit one, which let's say is getting dressed for the gym.

You must get dressed for the gym every single day, but make sure thats all you do. you stick to just that one habit, and you commit to it for an entire month. after that month your brain won't even think about getting ready for the gym it will be the easiest task in the world.

This is where month two you then get into the habit of actually being outside. I used to hate going on walks and being outside. So I spent an entire month literally just making sure after I woke up I would stand outside. There was no condition for me to walk anywhere or do anything, simply being comfortable being outside was unfamiliar to my brain, so cognitively was a big step.

Month three, go for a walk/ get in your car to go to the gym. at this stage the preparation phase for the gym is like clockwork, you could do it in your sleep its that easy for you. Now for this whole month you simply drive/ walk to the gym. Honestly at this stage as crazy as it sounds, I wouldn't even enter the gym. simply being there every day was testament to all the progress I was making.

Only then on month four would I enter the gym and do a workout. But I would make sure the workout is quick because again actually working out is an unfamiliar place for my brain so I dont want to go into a whole 1 hr workout, because I know if I do that, then for no reason, im going to wake up one day paralysed and incapable of mustering the will to go to the gym, because 1 hr is too long and I won't want to do it, so it will all fall apart

So for month four, I will workout for 15 minutes. you can make that even shorter if you want. Remember DO NOT ATTACH YOURSELF TO THE RESULTS. Your only attachment should be to honouring your word and completing the habit.

For month 5 you can then increase the length of your workout if you want, maybe to 20 minutes, then the next month to 30 minutes.

This is where shit gets really cool. by building habits in this way you can very quickly after like 5-6 months, utilise principles of compound interest. Once you are at the gym, if you increase the intensity of your workouts or the length of your workouts by lets say 10% a month then through compound interest you are going to be a gym maniac within like 6 more months.

And this principle can be applied to any habit you want to build. Make the changes so small that your brain doesn't notice, and make sure the habit you are focusing on is a specific action.

You could start any habit this way. if you want to read books and you dont read books, the self improvement industry would probably suggest you read 15 pages a day.

No. Kill the ego. if you dont like reading but you want to read, then 15 pages a day is a lot of fucking reading and you will give up very quickly.

Instead, for a whole month read one paragraph. I'm serious. not even a page. One paragraph- because you brain can then develop that network from the ground up- the action of picking up the book and actually committing to reading it even for onenparagraph is actively and positively rewiring your brain.

And then the next month you may read 2 paragraphs, then 3 paragraphs then 1 page, then 2 pages, then 3 pages, then 5 pages, then 7 pages, then 10 pages, then 15 pages and BOOM before you know it after a handful of months you will be the kind of person that finds it easy to read books every single day.

ROOKIE MISTAKES TO AVOID:

I could talk about this stuff for ages, but ill finish by mentioning pitfalls you DO NOT want to fall into:

***Do not get cocky. The self improvement industry would tell you that you should start scaling up your habits after a week or two weeks of doing it. DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS.

***WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT SCALE UP YOUR HABITS UNTIL A MINIMUM A MONTH OF DOING THEM, A MONTH IS THE MINIMUM.

***Secondly, do NOT juggle too many new habits at once.

You may think you are building 4 small habits- lets say you decided that you want to:

Go on walk every morning, meditate daily, have a skincare routine, and go on a run in the evening.

You may then think 'oh ok, so on month one lets do a small habit towards the walk, a small habit towards the meditating, a small habit towards the skincare routine and a small habit towards the evening run- what's the big deal right?' NO.

***IF YOU TAKE AWAY ONE MESSAGE FROM THIS TODAY, IT IS THAT YOUR BRAIN DETESTS CHANGE.

So if you do 4 'small' changes at once, thats 4 x the amount of change, and thus a lot more cognitive load on your brain than you may think it is.

Imagine I gave you a 0.25kg dumbbell in one arm to curl. You'd probably feel nothing from curling it. The change would go under the radar.

But if I instead gave you 8 of those dumbbells suddenly I'm actually lifting 4kg of weight. I would notice this weight a lot more and perhaps feel a bit uncomfortable with it.

This is like your brain when you try to start too many small changes at once. So don't do it. Stick to one habit for now.

If you want to build multiple habits simultaneously, only do that once you are comfortable having built one habit at a time for a while.

Anyway I think ive typed too much as it is, so let me know if any of this was helpful, I hope my advice can help at least one person to improve themselves. Good luck everybody!!

From a very young age I started having sex with prostitutes and it has been 2 years I have been living the same life and also I am super addicted to porn and masturbation . I even stole money from my parents to have sex with prostitutes and now for lack of money I cannot have sex . I am only 20 years old and now I am passing through a very important phase of my life because I have my board exams in next 2 months and I can’t concentrate in anything in my life as I cannot control my mind and my sexual desires.The upcoming exams are going to decide my future but I just cannot concentrate. I want to live a healthy , successful and happy life but I cannot make it . What do I do ?

I'm unorganised by default, and I tried to change this many times I'm 24 now. Can I ever get organised? and most of the times I don't even know, that I'm being eccentric....

Embark on a transformative journey of discipline and self-improvement with 30-day challenge. Designed to ignite your inner drive and cultivate habits of hard work, this challenge is a testament to your commitment to personal growth. Each day presents a new opportunity to push boundaries, overcome obstacles, and embrace the power of consistency. Whether it's tackling a new skill, prioritizing self-care, or honing your craft, this challenge is your roadmap to success. Join a community of like-minded individuals dedicated to unlocking their full potential, and together, let's embark on this empowering journey of growth and achievement.

Another challenge has emerged, led by a different individual, yet the entry requirements seem unconventional. To join, participants are instructed to download a peculiar app, one that may not be familiar to many, and unfortunately, it appears to be compatible only with Android devices. While their approach may differ from ours, we remain committed to providing a straightforward and accessible path for individuals seeking personal growth and development through our 30-day challenge.

HOW TO JOIN: Comment under the post if you’re interested and I will DM you to get the info. Challenge will be held in “TELEGRAM” app which is available for all devices, free and very convenient.

HOW WILL THE CHALLENGE OPERATE:

1. Everyone must be committed 100%
2. Share your daily tasks to the group via text or short video
3. Communicate, help and motivate each other with each other

!!! I’m really excited to host this challenge because I feel like this is what I need. I have been trying to build discipline for so long, and I know I’m not the only one that has tried. I believe that it is really challenging when you are surrounded by people that don’t have the same mentality as you, don’t have the same priorities as you. It’s truly hard to stay focused and locked in, when everything around you is distraction, your family, friends, etc. I want to create this community of same minded people, people who truly want change and become best versions of themselves!!!

Sorry if this post is long

I am 5ft 5 (165cm) and 220lbs (100kg) and I'm trying to lose weight and improve my health.

Today I made some purchases after doing some research online about supplements I can take to improve quality of life and to help with some issues I've been dealing with, namely shin splints and joint pain. Before I list what I bought just some context, I am a redhead living in the UK, this means I don't tend to get access to the sun all that much and I lack Vitamin D not only that but I'm lactose intolorant and my diet hasn't been good for years so I also lack calcium, both things that would lead to suffering from shin splints.

I decided to buy two different suppliments, one of which containing Vitamin D3 and K2 and the other giving me magnesium, zinc and calcium. I'm hoping this combined with me using better shoes will help deal with the shin splints alongside general health and better my skin, nails and hair too.

Aside from that I've started cooking more and trying to have more control over the food we have at home as I live with my parents and my dad does the shopping and tends to buy things he favours (unhealthy garbage) so I've voiced my opinion and concern and told them that of they bought healthier things that I'd do the cooking as they often just bought frozen things that you microwave or throw in the oven as they both hate cooking. This has allowed me to at least have one fecent balanced meal a day (I finally get to eat veggies yay!!)

I've also heard a lot about intermittent fasting and might give that ago.

If anyone has any advice on things I could do to make further improvements or if anyone has advice on intermittent fasting too I'd love to hear it!!

Flow state sounds great in theory — getting so immersed in your work that time flies by and everything just clicks. But I thought it was one of those things that only happened to other people, or required some kind of magical combination of circumstances that I'd never be able to replicate.

I was wrong.

Once I started being more intentional about structuring my workday to promote flow, I was amazed at the difference it made. My productivity skyrocketed, and I started finding way more enjoyment and fulfillment in even the most mundane tasks.

Here are the 5 key practices that I've found make all the difference:

1 - Super specific goals. Wishy-washy objectives just don't cut it for me anymore. I've found that the more concrete I can make my target, whether it's writing 1000 words or clearing out my inbox by noon, the easier it is to channel my focus and resist getting sidetracked.

2- Right level of challenge. This one took some trial and error to figure out. I used to take on way more than I could handle and then beat myself up when I couldn't keep up. Now, I try to find that sweet spot where I'm pushed out of my comfort zone but not completely overwhelmed. It keeps me engaged without triggering a stress spiral.

3**- Guard attention like a hawk**. Notifications, chatter, "just one quick thing" - they're all flow killers. When I really need to focus, I put my phone on ‘Do Not Disturb,’ close out of Slack and email, and treat any interruptions as the productivity emergencies they are. It felt weird at first but it's been game-changing.

4 - Commit to one thing at a time. Multi-tasking is tempting, but I've learned the hard way that trying to juggle a bunch of different tasks is a guaranteed way to half-ass all of them. Now, I force myself to pick one priority, turn on the 'focus mode' in my Sunsama app, and see it through before moving on to the next.

5 - Use a consistent flow trigger. For me, it's putting on a certain playlist, making a fresh cup of coffee, and taking three deep breaths before I dive in. It's like a mental switchboard that tells my brain it's time to get in the zone. I do it every time and it's almost scary how effective it's become at helping me drop into flow.

Obviously, everyone's different and your method of working may vary. But if you're feeling stuck or uninspired in your work, I really encourage you to experiment with some of these practices.

1. finish BMC
2. apply to 5+ jobs
3. find next year housing
4. settle club end of the year things
5. leg build strength to 50 pound press and 45 pounds extentjon
6. interview for bobby

Im thinking of a few fhat i have been hit or miss with so fsr this year

1. running 3 times a week
2. Pushups / stitups every morning (alternate)
3. No cafene
4. No fap

5.Cook lunch 6.eggs and shake for breakfast

Any others? Whats a good place to track em all? I have separate apps atm.

And not hitting the snooze and go back to sleep. Im currently trying to develop one and intrested if there is demand and how much people will be willing to pay

Looking for input on routine/schedule. Recently my SO switched his work schedule from 2pm-11pm to 6am-3pm. We have a 9 year old and twin 2 year olds I stay home with the youngest two and I take/pick up the oldest from school etc. I’m just wondering if anybody has advice on what a decent half ass routine (rough meal time frames bath bed etc) for a family working with this time frame should be on? Prior to the schedule change the twins sleep schedule was more on the night owl side. Everything was hell to be blunt. We are committed to trying to fix that along with get ourselves in a good routine. He has to wake up at 5 at the latest and I’d like to be waking up relatively close to the same time so I can do breakfast, etc without screaming kids lol. Any advice is welcome and much appreciated!

Hey everyone, I'm a 27-year-old guy struggling with anxiety and some mental health issues. Some days are tougher than others, but I'm doing my best to manage. I exercise a few times a week and prioritize clean eating. I've cut out nicotine and caffeine, although I still drink alcohol occasionally. Overall, I'd say I'm pretty disciplined with strong values. I'm always looking to improve myself, so I'm curious: What strategies or practices do you use to help with anxiety? I'm open to suggestions and eager to add more tools to my toolkit.

Things related to my personal life like my education, health, entertainment, I avoid everything. I am under-stimulated and over-stimulted at the same time because I have nothing in my brain, I am not thinking at all, let alone overthinking but at the same time I am overwhelmed and anxious. I have totally ruined my life by avoiding stuff for the past 6 years.

I am in college, but I avoid going as much as I can and then get frustrated because I am not going out of my house. I have failed every semester and I am in my final semester now and will need 1.5 more years after finishing 8th semester to finish my bachelors.

I cannot see a future at all for myself. I can't imagine my future. Even when I was a kid, I would think I would be working, earning money and be free. But I couldn't ever imagine or picture myself. All my friends have plans, hopes for future. Only just I can't seem to even think something basic like 10 years later I will be 35, with a job and family. I can write this, but in my head I can't picture it at all.

I cannot go to therapy both online or in-person. I strongly suspect that I might have ADHD. I frustrated and tired and don't know what to do to make my life better.

Everyone thinks I am doing good because from outside, I am doing good. It is just that I am totally failing at things that are solely about me like my education and fitness.

I am good at things that involves others like house chores and everything. But things that solely benefit me, I don't do it. It is not even procrastination. I just don't do it.

I really need help.

I have a lot of pending chapters(about 30) in my school, and btw I am preparing for an exam. This exam actually matters because it decides what college I'll go to. I have about 20 days of holidays coming up and huge test (after the holidays) that would decide what class I get into (yes, people who score more are placed into the top batches).

And these are no small chapters either they are fucking huge!(Each chapter is about 15 hours long on average, excluding the time it takes to practice) I get scared shitless when I think about, I am deadset on the fact that I won't be able to complete it resulting in my entire next year getting ruined.

And because of this I can't even understand the topics being taught right now in my classes as all the chapters rely alot on the previous chapter, which I have not completed.

I followed a pretty good schedule of excersizing, studying and some other tasks for about 2 weeks straight but I some how broke the routine, since then I have only been able to do it for like about 2 days. I am also scared of following the same routine till the next year, I think I would live a monotonous life.

And because I am so scared of getting started I resort to watching YouTube or playing games, It's like my brain explodes when I think about how much stuff there is pending, and to relieve that stress I play games ir watches YouTube.(I also think discipline far outweighs motivation, but I just cant seem to develop discipline, even if i do, i tend to just stop following the routine after 1 bad day) Thanks in advance for your help guys!

tldr : I have a lot of pending work, which also effects the work I do currently. I am scared shitless because of the amount of pending work I have to complete in 20 days, hence I procrastinate and can't seem to follow a routine or get an progress.

I have learnt and stored too many subjects including diverse topics and not to mention.. yet too many sections (since I’m a law student) in 4 days and now I’m confident yet scared of remembering them as I have more things to store. Any tips on efficiently remembering them while proceeding with new ones as well? P.s - I have a very important exam on 17th June for which I am currently preparing.

I have a hard time discussing my failures. I failed an important and rather expensive exam and never talked about it again then I joined my new job and a year later took the exam again and passed it. And now I’m this Genius at work who passed a difficult test. People praise me all the time but I don’t have the heart in me to tell them I failed it one year back. So does that make me any less authentic?

I managed to make some progress in learning web development yesterday. After a success day, I start over planning what I could do today and in the following month. I kept ruminating/maladaptive day dreaming of what I can that I can't sleep, causes me a migraine from over excitement. Hindering my progress today.

Suggestions on how not to over plan after a small win!

23, M, USA. I am a complete mess just like I was when I was a teenager. I have all kinds of bad habits. Drinking soda all day, smoking weed every night, chewing tobacco daily since 16 and occasionally cigarettes.

Can not even find the motivation to start working out or look forward to a good future as I feel like I won’t make it past 40 anyway.

I currently weight 115lbs at 5’10”. I want to gain weight and look healthy but all these other habits stand in my way of that. They’re like my comforts from being “young & free”. It’s hard to let go when you’re so comfortable in your own self destruction I guess.

Any advice would be great please. I’ve been listening to David Goggins a lot but I just can’t find enough drive to push.

Please help. I don’t know where I went wrong along the way, I was a smart kid when I was younger and had my shit together better than now.

EDIT: Thank you everybody for the advice and feedback, it means a lot for real. I’m sick of letting life slip me by and I want to do something with my life. This post is actually giving me a lot of motivation to finally get my shit together.

Going to try drinking more water tomorrow and am looking at at-home workout plans. Found a nice one to try going to see how I feel tomorrow being off the soda so much.

Started a small notebook I’m gonna keep in my pocket to track my progress. That way I can see what I’ve been doing and done so far along my way.

Thank you again. PLEASE keep leaving more tips and stories. Thank you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5viM_j97JQg

Hi Guys, Welcome to Eagerman's Hut,

I have decided to talk about discipline because it's one of those things that we know we need to succeed but have yet to internalise. Like many young men realise they need to go to the gym even when they don't feel like going to get fit, they know they need to read a book even if they don't feel like reading one to become knowledgeable. They know joining a martial arts class will help them, but they still don't do it. And that's where discipline comes in. You need to do what you're supposed to be doing to get there rather than what you feel like doing. It's not just about doing things that you like or things that giving you a dopamine rush. To become good at anything, you must leave your comfort zone and work even if you don't feel like working. It's what Mike Tyson said: "Discipline is doing what you hate to do but doing it as if you love it." Nobody wants to go to the gym after an eight-hour-long shift and an hour of travelling. Nobody wants to read a book for an hour before going to bed. Nobody wants to attend their martial arts class when the clouds are pissing on you.

And the problem is that many young men think they need more motivation. But they need more discipline because the difference between the two is that one is a spark. It comes, initiates action for a bit, and then it dies out, whereas discipline is the fuel you add to this spark to keep it burning and the momentum.

And being a disciplined man takes work, guys. It's tough. I've yet to master proper discipline. It's hell, man, but Life as a man is about going through suffering. Because suffering is linked to value, the more videos I record, even When I don't feel like recording, the more views I will get. Think about the long term and become a visionary.

So, to end, guys, part of being a man is about ignoring how you feel and doing what you're supposed to do to get there. What makes a man a masculine man is getting up and going after it even when you don't feel like it. You have to suffer; that is the only way you can add weight and value to your character.

Anyway, take care, and I'll see you all in the next one!

The Eagerman's Hut

Im a year away from graduating highschool and I'm not even joking I've been 'faking it till I make it' my whole life. Except now its just faking it and not making it.

Throughout my whole schooling life, I have never been taught how to study, how to correctly learn, ect. I've just been fluking it and only passing because I 'study' (write down a billion useless notes which I'm not even taking into memory) the night before tests. For assignments, I'm always asking for extensions and even then not handing it in.

I just don't have discipline or any time-managemet/organisation whatsoever. I've tried so hard to try to be somewhat disciplined and I just can't do it. I watch youtube videos for help and self-improvement books and nothing works. I have boosts of motivation now and then but that also just leads to nothing. I genuinely CANNOT sit down and study.

I had a chem report due a couple days ago and I just could not make myself do it. And now I have chem class tomorrow and my teacher is going to kill me.

What the hell is wrong with me? I need advice please I feel like my life is falling apart and I can't think about the future without stressing out or feeling like a disappointment. My mum is also so hard on me and it actually just stresses me out even more and she doesn't realise. My room is always messy, and when I clean it, it just becomes messy all over again. I'm so scared and going to fail in life and I need and want things to change for me.

Hello, from 13-15 I lost weight, got a gf, lost my anxiety, my grades are getting better, infact I reduced my screentime to 6 hours on weekends.

And now, I still feel my low-self esteem and self-image is still the same, and feel so doubtful of my success because of how I act and how I am.

Hey r/getdisciplined community,

I created a functional fitness exercise database in Microsoft Excel and Google Sheets for strength training – it’s a resource to help keep all of your strength training exercises organized and quickly accessed in an easy-to-use spreadsheet for your workouts (https://www.reddit.com/r/personaltraining/s/cvI4jUYMcv). I am constantly updating the exercise database each month with new equipment, exercises, and search filters - so I wanted to share a quick summary of the additions to the database for May.

The highlight of this update is adding the Strongman Sandbag as a new primary equipment item and its associated exercises, as well as including a new “Force Type” filter, where you can now organize all exercises by push or pull movements. When combined with the body region filter, you can now filter all upper body / push, lower body / push, upper body / push & pull movements. I have also added a number of new loaded carry and walking lunge variations. A full breakdown of all of the updates in version 1.6 is listed below, as well as the free download link to get your updated copy of the database.

More about the exercise database:

It is time consuming to sift through all the exercise information available on the internet (multiple exercise databases, YouTube videos, fitness pages/social media), so I made this to have all of the data in one spreadsheet that can be quickly filtered for your exercise search. The database has more than 25 search filters available for over 1400 + functional exercises - allowing you to find the information you need in seconds when designing fitness programs or learning new movement patterns.

The fitness library also includes exercises using the barbell, dumbbells, kettlebells, gymnastics rings, parallette bars, calisthenics, clubbells, indian clubs, maces, the bulgarian bag, the strongman sandbag, the landmine attachment, suspension trainer, sliders and other functional equipment that you may not have used for your current workouts. All exercises requiring you to move, stabilize, and develop functional and pain free strength.

In this version 1.6 update, I have added the following to the exercise database:

• Added an “Update Notes” link directly in the spreadsheet so you can now stay up to date on recent improvements each month.
• Added “Force Type” filter, where you can select all push / pull / push & pull exercises. When combined with the “Body Region” filter - you can quickly filter the database for all upper body push exercises, etc. I still have to sort through a number of exercises for this filter.
• Added “Strongman Sandbag” to the “Primary Equipment” category heading.
• Added “Plyo Box” to the “Secondary Equipment” category heading.
• Added 15 new strongman sandbag exercises.
• Added 16 new loaded carry variations.
• Added 16 new walking lunge variations
• Added 10 new kettlebell overhead press variations
• Added 3 new sissy squat variations
• Added 3 new box jump variations
• Added 3 new kettlebell arm bar variations
• Added 12 other new miscellaneous exercises
• Added “Double” to exercise name description for 2 dumbbell exercises for consistency with the rest of the database.
• Corrected video demonstration for Ring Pelican Curl

Enjoy the updated exercise database and feel free to follow along on twitter to stay up to date with the latest version (https://twitter.com/strength2o).

YouTube Tutorial Video:

https://youtu.be/9jW0il570Wg?si=DqA-i5hoko3sCSPz

Download Free Copy MS Excel / Google Sheets (best viewed on tablet/laptop or PC):

https://strengthtoovercome.com/functional-fitness-exercise-database

I really wanted o be discipline and consistent, I always planned and prepeared a good schedule for myself in order to follow

but most of the time I fails to follow it, it's not because of just me - but due to my family influence, or acadamic influence. The time I already fixed for something to get improved will be replaced by something sudden - which causes entire scheduling 😐

So now Im so confused on what to do, My prime aim is to learn coding​(cover the part which is already in plan )fast as possible. So Im confused on should I follow a sceduled limited time for it or just go all out and have more time by sacrifices including sleep?

so, i have never had a normal sleep schedule. im always so jealous of people who can wake up early with no problem. i tried, i cant! i keep sleeping through the alarms and i dont even hear them.

i fall asleep really late, 2-3-4 am mostly, its not that i do anything up until that i just lay in bed and cannot fall asleep. i also get sleep paralysis so often that im used to it now lol. and then i wake up at 12-1-2pm. and my whole day is wasted.

before you ask, i did try going to sleep earlier. i went to sleep at 9 pm, and i woke up at 12 pm. nothing changed…

I’ve had a good run with being disciplined in school and college. I’m working now and I can’t find the motivation to do anymore than the bare minimum which I dislike. However, I felt that motivation coming to me when I met my ex who I intended to marry. I was looking up houses, taking good care of myself and going to work with purpose. After it ended I lost that discipline and motivation again. What I come to realize is that I need someone I care deeply about to plan a future with, without it I just don’t care.

Now I’m at a dilemma, do I find someone to gain my sense of responsibility or find a magical way to actually care about myself, which I don’t know if i can..