or accepted it at least? If so how and at what age did you change?

Mentions of like not having your first date or kiss in high school or something. That's what i'm struggling with getting over. Missed opportunities I will never be able to have.

And its a lot different then having an experience in high school then in my 20's or 30's.

I hear women on Reddit quite often say that women live less as long in a marriage with kids as opposed to being single but when I search for the data, I find opposite results. Can anyone share studies that say otherwise?

We are going to have to put our second baby in daycare later next year and that means we will have 2 in daycare. I’ve been trying to save and build my savings and have been doing great so far but now starting next year, we will really have to cut savings.

I want to keep growing it especially with two kids. Is there anything I can do for a side hustle? I m not good with dogs so I can walk them, I don’t really want to watch anyone else’s kids but my own, I’ve done door dash before but I don’t want to be away from my kids as I l ready work a 9-5. I tried the digital download on Etsy and it didn’t work for me.

Is there like a single thing I could sell on Etsy for passive income? I just don’t have any skills other than I am crafty but just not good enough to sell.

Just looking to make like and extra 200-300 dollars a month which isn’t a crazy amount but just so we could put it away.

Thank you!!!

Then I snap out of it once I start. Does anyone else feel this or is it just me?

My partner (M) and I (F) are of the same age. We've been together for 5 years now. We haven't gone in big fights and the fight subside after a day or two. However, I feel I never get the closure I want.

In our arguments, my partner would often repeat/ or mimic me (with a high-pitch voice) often flailing his arms all around. I, having worked with kids in the past, point out that it's a childish behaviour. He states that the only way the information can be conveyed to me. I feel very overestimated talking with him.

To make me less mad, he would often buy his peace by saying "NO, you're right. You're always right." without acknowledging why I felt demeaned.

I don't know if it's a problem common with early 30's women, but u feel that everyone is with someone immensely more mature than me.

Now that it’s getting cold…how do you settle what the thermostat should be set to?

I have a two story house and live with a roommate. We can never decide on a temperature. It’s too hot upstairs and too cold downstairs. One of us is dying and one of us is freezing.

How do you set the temp in your household if you live with others?

Hi there,

I’m finding myself at the end of my patience of listening to my best friend’s woes with her mid distance relationship. I’ll spare a lot of the details, but they’ve been very up and down and it’s been hard to see her get worn down by the less than stellar behavior of this man.

He’s not awful, per se, but he’s got a lot of growing up to do and a lot of emotional work to put in as well. I’ve observed that the behavior they find themselves in is largely due to him responding without emotional regulation, which just is not looking good at 28 or so years old.

Most recently they officially broke up for maybe all of but a little over 72 hours before getting cold feet and trying again (again for the same cycle…) and I just can’t listen to how lowkey toxic he is and see her being so unhappy in the last few months.

How should I bring this up to her without sounding judgmental? I want to support her but I think he’s a waste of time honestly. I just can’t listen to more or I’m scared of actually saying something unfiltered and ruining the friendship by having too much investment in something that’s ultimately not up to me.

(I am cognizant that she likely will have to learn on her own and am starting to make peace with it but it’s hard to see friends make potentially bad decisions)

Thanks so much in advance

Curious to know what self care is for others on this sub.

For me, it's a well made coffee in the morning or disconnecting from the world and working on my paintings.

Like technically that age range are real adults, but I feel like people in their 30s+ say "oh your still sooo young." So many of my friends are getting married and one just announced their planned pregnancy and we're all in our early 20s. I'm starting to "feel old", but so many people in their 30s are like "you're still incredibly young". But I feel like a grown up now (and sort of behind since I'm not married or planning a family). Curious to see how you feel about yout 20-25yr old self.

Anyone else in their late thirty’s experience perimenopause? I’m childfree and 36 and coming to terms with this might be what’s going on with my body. Any words of encouragement or advice?

I’m a 23-year-old woman, and at the core of my being, my main goal is self-actualization. I want to be independent, never relying on a man, and always surrounded by a community of women I can support and who will support me in return. However, because we still live in a largely monogamous and marriage-centered society, I can’t help but feel afraid of the possibility of being lonely as I grow older. I know this fear is real, and yet I also know that settling is not an option for me. How can I overcome this fear and embrace the path I’ve chosen?

I would love to hear any personal stories.

Hi guys. It's my first time ever posting on Reddit and I may delete this post. Idk im nervous. Here's my situation.

I turned 18 a few months ago and I have a good job with a pretty good income for my age. I live with my parents, as I just got this job in August.

My parents are very controlling. They don't like me to be out past 8, do too many things in a day, hang out with many people. They don't like me to do things on my own or buy things without getting my sister something as well. They don't like when I go to my boyfriend's house too often (we have been together for 2+ years). They have my location constantly and I do nothing without telling them or getting permission. I pay for my car fully, I pay for about half of the groceries, I paid for my phone, I pay for everything I need. I pay for half their subscription services for streaming.

How do I get more freedom while remaining on good terms with them?

It's like I wish I could just be cold hearted and cut them off, but I love them too much to do that, and I feel bad when I try to set any boundaries.

My parents and I also have a very weird relationship. Yes I live with them, but it's like we talk about NOTHING personal. We don't talk about relationships, personal things. Nothing goes deeper than small talk. I hate it. I don't know what to do, or really what advice im asking for. I just need to know how to get more freedom, because I am 18, while bettering our relationship and actually acting like a family.

THANKS❤️

Long vent - I know there’s this mentality among a lot of husbands (not all). But I was surprised to see this expectation from my dad who was visiting this weekend. For context, I am a single parent. My kid (4y) is pretty easy going. So I don’t have to be tough much. He listens and he gets a lot of freedom/choice as a result. Sometimes I feel like he is an adult because I don’t really like having to set boundaries etc. we have adult conversations. Like he gets it. It’s almost like we are peers. Obviously I do spend a lot of time ensuring he eats very well, has fun activities and learns.. he is my #1 when he is with me!

Anyway my dad is visiting for 2 weeks. And it has been stressful. Kid would be getting ready for daycare. And my dad will distract him. I feed my kid and dad will call him - kid gets distracted and a 30 min meal will take way longer. I am so stressed and tired. I am angry because I feel this is very inconsiderate and childish. And it makes each day more difficult while he also lectures on how I should focus on other things (dating, career, and not just my kid). And he comments on how slim my kid is.

My 8yo niece is visiting today (because he invited her (and I told I can’t manage 2 kids - because I can discipline my kid and not other kids). Anyway he just watches them mess up the house and mockingly laughs when I try to discipline. They just don’t listen when I call them for food. He just laughs. And he just plays with them for 10-15 min and goes for naps and walks. And he looks at me like I am a crazy unhinged monkey.

Growing up, my mom was always the disciplinarian and he always worked. I thought men (the one who are like this) do this only with their partners. I was so disappointed and angry by his behavior with me - his daughter (when he lectures that I spend all my time with my kid - but he doesn’t do anything to help when he is here anyway).

I don’t know what I am asking. I guess I don’t like being the tough parent and I don’t like being responsible. My kid lets me do my fun thing because he is mostly easy. But why do some men just diminish how hard it is to parent and yet maybe even mock us on how we become so serious?

Like why?

Just a couple things for my mom and MIL and maybe daycare workers. I was thinking jam but the fruit isn’t in season.

I can’t really do sour dough bread because I find the starter impossible. Something they can consume but is pretty cheap to make. I was thinking simmer pot stuff but I don’t know if my daycare teachers would like that.

Any ideas would be helpful!!

I used to have like 10 steps and spend $700 every 6 weeks or so on products alone, not even accounting for services like microneedling and facials. I've been deprogrammed and now only use 3 products.

I decided at a certain point that I was sick of the overconsumption and didn't even know what I was chasing in the first place. Since I switched, I haven't noticed any changes for the worse in my skin. If anything, it's less easily sensitized.

After this journey, my unbeatable combo is easy + effective.

Would love to know what you look for in their routines and where you land on the wide spectrum of skincare consumption. <3

I'm thinking of going back to therapy to deal with complicated grief of my father's and best friend's deaths. But I have to find the right kind of therapy otherwise it would be a waste of time and money.

How did therapy transform your life?

I met my ex & love of my life at 22 however we started dating on literally my 26th birthday. We broke up when I turned 31 and now co parent. It is my fault we broke up. I was horrible to him in the months leading up to our break up and during my pregnancy. A lot of trauma ( I had cancer at 28) took place and I took it out on him. I was awful to be around so he left. I’m 32 now and feel done with love completely. I don’t feel worthy of love. Has anyone ever however I just saw someone write on another post that if women don’t find a man to marry before 30 then it’s drastically difficult after 30 and chances are slim to none. Now I feel even worse that I let my true love go. How do you accept your awful fate due to your own behaviour?

27F here. I’ve had binge eating disorder since I was a kid, and it’s come and gone throughout my life. I lost tons of weight back in 2017 when I was going through a very stressful and traumatic time, and then months after my nervous system calmed down my binge eating came on full force and I gained tons of weight. I feel like I’m always in a restrict / binge cycle.

My weight has been up and down up and down since then. I’ve done out patient and I’m in therapy for it. I’ll have week of “sobriety” with it and then relapse.

I currently just got back on the horse and, was doing so well and I recently got sick with a cold (possibly strep, I’ll find out tomorrow), and have been binging. Ruined all my progress. I had to cancel a flight because of this sickness, and now I’m spending my booked time off work at home sick, binging and hating myself. I guess I’m binging because I can’t control my sickness, but food I can.

I hate myself. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.

Has anyone here struggled with this? What has helped you? I’m so ashamed.

Looking for something that will hook me in right away because I have ADHD haha. Something light and funny would be nice, on Netflix is a bonus. I just finished Man on the Inside and English Teacher and would love to watch more shows like that, but I’m open to any genre!

Seriously lol dating over 30 seems like an impossible task and mix in single motherhood, recipe for finding the loml in the nursing home lol

How do you ladies find worthy men to talk to? Dating apps are a bust. Everyone seems to have social anxiety these days.

About me- I’m a high income earner in tech. I stay pretty busy and understand I may be a bit intimidating but i definitely want to find someone to be able to take care of me as a “traditional” leader of the home would. I definitely don’t want to be the provider or play the masculine roles anymore . I’m here for the soft life. Give a girl some tips pleeeeeeease

I have been with the same organization for seven and a half years. This was my first “adult job” and looking back I can see my growth over the years, both personally and professionally. I started off as a low level admin and I am leaving as an upper level administrator of multiple programs and projects. The company leadership has changed and they are taking things in a direction I would prefer not be involved with, so I applied for and was offered a position with a new organization. (Side note, if anyone has some good information resources about grant writing, please share!)

Anyhow, what advice do you have for making this move?

I already have the following in mind:

-I’m not burning any bridges. I will give my two weeks notice and fully document my processes/information.

-I over shared personal information/drama at my old position and participated in petty gossip early on, it was hard to separate myself from that later. I intend on having better boundaries in my new position.

-I have an organization system through Outlook/OneNote that catalogs meeting notes, conversations, contacts, task lists, kudos… etc. I plan to do the same in my new role.

(Me = 34F)

Hello All,

I have been struggling with deciding exactly how to approach talking to my best friend about a recent issue in our relationship (friends for 10+ yrs).

Quick background: my bff has always identified as a love addict/codependent and I think we are both recovering from being “pick me” tomboys. She was w a guy for 5+ years who she had a very publicly messy relationship w & he cheated on her relentlessly. Since they broke up a couple years ago, she seems obsessed with finding love despite any red flags. I am a recovering alcoholic (sober 4 yrs) who has been really focusing on self help. At one point I was celibate for over a year & in therapy.

To the issue:

I (f34) and my best friend (f37) were traveling across the country for our art show, we flew separate but were staying together w some old friends. To clarify we make art together and the show was the purpose of our trip. I was staying for 2 days, she was staying for 3.5 weeks.

I landed two hours before her and waited at the airport so our friend could pick us up together. They get us food and we head back to their place to sleep (it’s around 10pm). We get to their apartment and put our stuff down and she tells me she’s leaving to go stay with A.

A (m34) is someone she met about two years ago on a retreat. They have sex when they are in the same city and when he leaves he slowly quits texting her. It’s a cycle that I’ve talked her through multiple times. Right before this trip she told me she was going to ask him if he had feelings for her (she’s done this once already and he said no) and if he doesn’t she’s going to cut him off.

I didn’t see her until the next day at 2pm and we had to be at our show at 6pm. We got some food & went to the art show. As soon as the show starts A shows up and for the rest of the evening my best friend is talking with others and A. The show ends and she asks if I can drive her and A to his house so she can stay the night. This is at 11pm. I fly out at 6am the next morning and she is taking me to the airport.

So I do, then drive back to my friends apartment. I get back at midnight and prepare my stuff to fly out in a couple hours. I fall asleep and accidentally slept through my alarm missing my flight (thankfully was able to get another flight for no cost). I tell my best friend and ask if she can give me a ride to my later flight to which she replied that A thought I should take the bus.

I decided to manage it myself and flew home. She text me the next day she was confused and hurt about me not communicating w her. I text her back and said I was confused and hurt about being ditched for a guy she’s been complaining about for almost two years. Her response was that she didn’t know I had expectations to spend time w her so therefore she isn’t culpable.

Honestly, I’m really leaning towards ending our friendship. But there is so much history that I’m second guessing my anger? I’m not sure how to tell her how I feel without hurting her feelings. I really do love her and hope the best for her, but I deserve more from a best friend and I know it. Help?

For context, I’m 28 working a technical job in the industrial field. I’ve done this work for 5 years now. Since age 17, I’ve had seven jobs. I’ve always ended up hating each one of them, and I hate my job now. My personal life experience has included battles with chronic health conditions and it’s sort of a dream of mind to end up in nutrition and do something along the lines of diabetic coaching or nutritional therapy. I’m a single parent and I can’t just quit and move onto to something else without a solid plan. I’m wondering if I dive into going back to school for my true interests, will I just end up quitting that too.. eventually. How long did it take you to find the right career for you? What realizations did you come to before finding that career? Any advice is appreciated.

My wife gets a long with my parents very well, and as we are in the financial planning stages of having a baby, I was of the opinion that we are going to use my parents as a “resource” for babysitting especially in the first few years when we are working. It made logical sense since we don’t have to spend money on daycare and my parents did the same for my sister’s kids. But my wife is of the opinion that the kids our responsibility and she would feel guilty about letting her in-laws take care of the baby and that would prevent her from working. She rather pay daycare than take their support. I would feel guilty giving up the baby to someone else than family since I do trust my parents more than day care workers. (Sorry nothing against the profession! Y’all do a thankless job!)

Financially it makes no sense. So asking women over 30 about your opinion and understand my wife’s opinion better. Thank you!

Hey friends - so I've been seeing a guy for about a month, pretty casually. We've gone on like 4 or 5 dates or so. We've kissed and it was great! He's a lovely person so far and treats me super well. So tonight, I'm going to his house for a movie and I'm feeling some anxiety because going to his house feels like a setting for sex. And I don't want to have sex. I don't want to feel pressured into having sex. I don't want it to become a netflix and chill. I feel pretty comfortable stating those boundaries. But also, the reasons I don't want to have sex are heavy and I feel like eventually I'll have to give some him more context. I've had partners in the past who've treated my body basically like a sex object. I was also molested in 2023. So, I just stopped having sex for like a year and it was amazing. Honestly the most peaceful experience. I had sex a month ago with someone else and it was awful, painful, kinda disassociating, and just like body was rejecting him. So, my fear of having sex with men has just grown. Anyway, I'm probably getting ahead of myself but I'm just nervous about having a conversation with him about taking it slow and was wondering if anyone had advice.

UPDATE: thank you so much all! i feel like i'm in a girl group chat. i sent a small voice note saying something along the lines of "even though you're sexy and i'm sexy i'm not ready for sexy time tonight but i'm excited to see you" so cool so casual not trauma dumpy. that was 3 hours ago...so we'll see. either way, i'm glad i set a boundary now rather than at his house!

HE RESONDED! And he said that's totally fine so thanks for walking me through this everyone. What a nice little group of sisters.

How to let my sister go?

At the beginning of 2024, my 18yo sister suddenly moved in with me after experiencing sudden eviction (her dad couldn’t pay rent). I took her in because I told myself I wouldn’t let her or my brother be homeless again. They were homeless a year or two with their dad after we were suddenly placed into foster care in 2015. I remained in care, they didn’t. Same mom, different dad.

Fast forward to now, my sister has a boyfriend she met through work. This job hires at-risk youth, current/former homeless youth and so on. Their relationship has been rocky from the start (cheating, controlling behavior, only priority is boyfriend), but it doesn’t matter to her because she wants love. She feels as though she’s worked so hard to get a boyfriend that she’ll accept any attention. She also started community college this fall, but never does her assignments, is always smoking/drinking with her boyfriend and only works 2 - 3 days a week for a few hours.

She also got a cat this summer, but I primarily take care of her since she always stays with her boyfriend. She doesn’t want to get a job too far from him. She wants to get another cat for his place (he lives with family, so idk why she’d ever do that in someone else’s home) and take her cat with her everywhere.

I stopped telling her how I felt about anything because it seems all she cares about is her boyfriend and what he thinks. She pays some rent, but I cover everything else. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I’m so tired of it and I don’t want to make it about myself, but I hate how my family treats me. I can help them out of their shit, and they can go back to acting as if I don’t exist anymore afterwards. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a bad person or sibling. I don’t know anymore. Also, I’m 24.

Hi ladies! 28 F here in the most depressive/anxious rut I’ve ever experienced. Was initially diagnosed with GAD when I was 22 and was able to go through therapy/medication management and honestly dealt with it all pretty well. I (mistakenly) went off my SSRI (Lexapro) in April of this past year and felt totally fine, didn’t really think I needed it anymore. Come July, I crashed SO hard. Worst anxiety I’ve experienced. I attempted to restart my Lexapro but ended up having terrible side effects (was throwing up everyday and actually became severely depressed/had SI) to the point I had to totally come off of it. I honestly don’t know why that happened since I had tolerated it well for 6 years. I’ve been unmedicated since October and still having an absolutely terrible time despite going through therapy/attempting to make small steps. Just looking for a small glimmer of hope from women that have dealt with depression/anxiety and what they may have done to turn things around. Appreciate your time 🩷