I have been looking for an apartment since my STBEXH told me to “get the f* out of the apartment” for the second time this month. This rage episode happened twice after I confronted him about coming home from a work meeting with a women’s perfume on his collar/went out with work friends and never told me and I questioned him.

I found an ok apartment but can’t bring myself to sign the lease. I know the divorce papers hold way more weight than that but I know that if I sign a lease, I will be moving out and this will be the end of us. There’s no turning back. I do want the divorce. I am so done with the screaming and throwing things, not trusting him. Years of years of lies. So why can’t I do it?

I moved a dead squirrel out of the road this morning while walking my dog. I used to do that for her, so she wouldn’t have to see the dead squirrel. Now I’m doing for myself and the neighborhood. Things are getting better for me, but it felt better in the past taking that action for her benefit.

I think there are lots of things like, big and small, that that she didn’t factor into her decision making when deciding to leave. For her, I think she needed to feel beyond responsibility for the decision, despite it being her decision alone 100%, as I didn’t want the divorce. So she discounted all the good into nothing, and exaggerated any bad, or even just anything annoying, into everything, as if that’s what the relationship had been.

I am currently going through a high conflict divorce. Mediation was a bust because he was a no show and is also refusing to turn in financial documents. Self employed business owners. How does this work as far as going to trial if he refuses to turn over things like “accounts receivable”? I’m not understanding how we would prove accurate assets when our company is owed hundreds of thousands at all times and the amount changes weekly sometimes daily. Seems like he can hide income and I’m just screwed.

Hello everyone!

I am looking for a lawyer in SD. I live in Florida but my wife is there and filing so I need a lawyer representing me there.

I am looking into low cost groups or lawyers and seeing if you know anyone I could work with or more information about it.

I got LegalZoom for now but the lawyers there only help you for 30 minutes and there is no one in SD.

Help!

Very early stages of divorce and very amicable so far, we're in agreement 50/50 split of assets and custody.

We've done rough numbers of what we have in terms of assets and how we divide them evenly.

We earn the same now, but I probably have greater earning capacity going forward. He is 10 years older than me and so pension contributions started earlier than mine and he has always been full time, whereas I have been part time for a few years and his employmer contribution % is/was higher. I have always put the minimum I to mine because his pension scheme was so good.

Rough numbers I have £200k in mine, he has £1m.

Given he will likely retire before me based on age and therefore has less years left to add to it, it feels a bit unfair for me to take 400k of it (leaving us with 600k each). But taking nothing seems careless of me.

What is reasonable here?

My husband (33m) and I (36f) decided to separate over the weekend. We have been married for 18 months and together for eight years. He said the words, but I’ve been thinking them for a while, he was just the one brave enough to blow everything up.

We never planned on having kids and we’ve been thoroughly enjoying the DINK lifestyle (multiple trips per year, meals out etc). I feel like I am currently struggling with how my life post divorce is going to look.

I think I am more heartbroken about losing the life we had planned compared to the marriage ending, which probably explains why it is.

Does anyone have any advise on what helped moving forward?

Currently separated for 6 months. Married in Virginia, resident of Florida (No waiting time) but currently both of us are located in North Carolina (1 year waiting time). Attempting to E-FIle divorce in FL but confused if we are eligible due to currently being stationed (Military) in NC and potential to have to go in front of a judge. Divorce is uncontested and we just want to go our separate ways. Anyone have experience with this. Currently just overwhelmed with next step.

Hi everyone,

My husband (29m) and I (27f) are together for 7yrs almost married for 5. We have an 8m old baby.

Lately I feel like we’re drifting apart. He has taken on a new job for us and a lot of sacrifices for our family. I feel like he is depressed. Being a parent is not what he imagined it to be though he loves our daughter very much. He doesn’t want to go to therapy and doesn’t see any problems in our relationship.

I carry most of the load on childcare and housework besides working 28h and studying in the evening. I feel like im taking care of two kids. The days he is with our daughter he does fine. But I know he is watching TV all day with her playing on her own. I know he doesn’t let her cry and she is fed and changed. But in everything he does, he puts in the bare minimum. When I ask him to read a book to her or give her a bath, he tells me ‘she’s a baby, she doesn’t need a bath everyday.’

He complains about housework not being done, but all he does is unloading and loading the dishwasher.

At this moment I feel like I’m better off alone. But does it really get better?

My husband and I have had disagreements about several things, causing on/off arguments. We are currently getting along, but I think its temporary. Long story short, I agreed to plan to move with his parents into one home together. However, I stated that I only want us on the deed. Everyone was fine. Now they are saying both his elderly parents need to be on the deed. I suggested we just buy our own, larger home and they can live with us, and my husband said that I either agree to have them on the deed or he is divorcing me.

There is a ton of backstory, and I think this is what my husband views as the last straw. We've held off on the conversation for now, but it will start back up when his parents come up in a few weeks. I told him I am not ready to move, and he said that he will be moving with them and I can join if I'd like...

The issue is, we have two kids under age 3. One is less than a year old. We are currently in NH, but I have no interest in staying here. I'd like to move back to Mass to be closer to my family. Him and his parents are all hung up on Mass being listed as one of the top most expensive states, but I told them that is mostly in reference to boston and surrounding areas. Places bordering NH are not that much different...and then its the income tax...Anyway, I feel like I have to choose to live with him and his parents to be able to be with my kids full time. But even if we divorce, I might not be able to leave the state. At the same time, I don't want to risk liability and whatnot with sharing a deed with his parents.

I think I am looking for some encouragement. And I'm curious to hear about people in a similiar position in regards to having young kids and getting divorced, especially ones living on the border of states.

Hey all! My wife and I (44F, bisexual) broke up In the spring time. Our relationship had been deteriorating for quite some time, over a year.

After the break up, very bluntly, all I wanted was casual sex, so that is exactly what I did. After a couple of months (August) of doing that, I noticed I was enjoying the company of one man (45) in particular. By coincidence, we are both going through the same thing; handful of months out of a break up from a 10 year relationship. End up dating exclusively; something I was fine with.

Here we are now a couple of months later, and we both find ourselves with increasing feelings, which is both surprising and not surprising.

It’s not surprising because our chemistry is insane. Absolutely hands-down the best sex of my life. We have similar careers, dating history, life experience, values, interests, hobbies, goals. We have a great time together. Lots of laughter, deep conversations, road trips. You get the idea but I am not exaggerating when I say there is a spark there that I am not sure I’ve ever felt before.

The part that is surprising is pretty obvious. I would never expect to find myself with actual serious interest and feelings for somebody so quickly out of a separation. It’s not my style nor need; I’m confidently emotionally and financially independent.

He is completely comfortable with his feelings, I am struggling with mine. Not because of him – he’s great – but because of my situation. We’re both fairly pragmatic about the future; we have discussed moving in together next year while, at the same time, acknowledging the real possibility the relationship might not survive our separations.

Our separations look different, but both are relatively straightforward. No kids, so basically division of property and equalization. He has filed, I have not. My ex recently found out about him and has gone radio silent on me since then. That’s fine.

I’m well aware that relationships after separations generally do not succeed, but I find myself being hopeful. Curious if anyone else has had a meaningful relationship that started shortly after their separation? Experience? Thoughts? TYIA!

My wife and I are filing for divorce and we are both in agreement on the divorce and have already separated all property and don’t have kids. My wife and I have no disagreements on anything so we didn’t think we would need a hearing so we didn’t request one in the initial filing of divorce papers. Just yesterday we got an email saying we were scheduled for a case management conference with the judge and would last 10 min. Does anyone know what to expect during the conference and what type of questions will be asked? I’m assuming it’s just going to be the judge basically confirming our intent to divorce and that there are no final disagreements between my wife and I but I wasn’t sure.

I am confused on why someone would not sign a quit claim deed. I was awarded the home. I am trying to refinance my heloc into a fixed second and then refinance my first mortgage. I did the math and it seems by doing this, I will save $200/mo in my payments. I am on a tight budget and barely able to qualify (don’t want to sell because I worked very hard to have an ADA house built for my daughter, and ex did not help). I have paid my ex most of what is owed. I owe an additional $9k, and was going to pay it when I refinanced the 2nd lien and take a little more out to pay the last of the funds owed. My lawyer said I need to refinance it altogether in order to get a refinance or he won’t sign a QCD.

My question is, if a decree states I have all interest in a home and he has none, why wouldn’t he sign?? I will never not pay my mortgage, and let’s say I stopped paying, I understand he’s on the mortgage and it will hurt both our credit, but what interest would he hold?? What if I died before refinancing, could he claim any equity because he’s on the deed? I have roughly $200k in equity that if I died should go to my children. Because he holds a title, could he claim it?

So it’s fairly clear my ex and I aren’t happening. I’m doing online dating and it feels like a part time job and local interest is few and far between. I thought I need to change something up and make things happen. So I plan to get involved in clubs, sports or whatever soon. Maybe do speed dating. I will bite the bullet, strike up conversations, and make the ask. I crave companionship. Last night I said screw it I’m going out by myself and enjoying the music at a local spot and try to make something happen if opportunity presents itself. I’m not Brad Pitt but I’ve been working out and I put nice clothes on. By some odd twist of fate, a pretty woman actually approached me. A couple women did actually. Later that night, I got a number. We exchanged texts after leaving and I got myself a date the old fashioned way. If that didn’t happen, I would have had a decent night out I guess on a date with myself.😀

This is gut wrenching to write, but I’d rather ask people who don’t know me. Just so we’re clear, I know in my heart what the right thing to do is.. but let me elaborate. I got married to my husband a little over 4 years ago. We both had children previously. We definitely had toxicity in our relationship before we got married. I felt he was always hard on my 2 kids. I always treated his very lovingly. We fought terrible when we fought, but good times were always great. That’s what kept me hooked for so long. I know I’ve been at fault for fights etc in relationship, but I can’t believe some of the things I’ve allowed. We have our own son now. He’s 2. When I was pregnant he pulled my hair out bc he didn’t like something I said. He gave me a black eye when I asked him to stay during a fight. I was holding our 6 month old son. During fights he’s said horrible things about me and my kids. I finally have the courage to leave. I’m ready. But I’m still fearful and occasionally it makes me sick to my stomach. But I see my older kids run up to their room when they are with us because they don’t want to be around him. He talks terrible to me in front of all the kids. Last week I found that he shared inappropriate pics of me on the internet. He was also commenting on inappropriate pics of other women. I’m just afraid of the fight that’s to come. I told him I wanted to leave and he was almost panicked, crying etc. he begged me to stay. I said yes because he seemed so desperate it almost scared me. I want out. I got approved for an apartment. I just need to find time to do the inspection etc.

Why do I feel guilty? Why am I worried about him? It shouldn’t be this way… please just send words of encouragement.

I live in Germany and there are some interesting laws here regarding divorce. I separated from my partner just over a year ago. We are required to go through a separation year (Trennungsjahr), where we still stay legally married but are separated. During this time I paid her Unterhalt, basically a payment that makes up the difference in income. Come to find out, I probably didn't have to pay this for that time; I should have gone to a lawyer earlier. Regardless, I am now in the process of getting everything ready for the official divorce.

She hasn't worked in nearly two years at this point. She has had issues with depression before and throughout our marriage, one of many reasons why I left, she didn't want to change. Now that I am finalising everything, she is officially requesting that I pay her Unterhalt. This will now be more money because she is no longer getting sick pay but is getting unemployment, which is significantly less than what she was earning before. As it doesn't look like she will start working anytime soon, I basically have to make up the difference. This is further annoying for me because when she was working, she always earned more than me.

Now, I could deal with all of that, but the real problem is that she will probably be able to request alimony and likely be awarded it, especially if she decides not to work (or decides to earn less). She can do this because she can always use her depression as a reason to not work. If this gets approved, I am required to pay, so long as I work full time and earn essentially more than her. She can get away with working less, I cannot. She can not work, and I will be forced to with the threat of a criminal case being brought against me if I don't. I'm currently doing a PhD and will finish next year, after which I was planning on taking a year off to travel the world. If she gets the alimony, I will not be able to do this as I will be forced by the government to pay her and work with the threat of jail if I don't for the time when she isn't working and earning enough or until 1/3 of our total married time surpasses, ca. 4 years.

I just don't understand how all of this can be based on the state things were in at the time of separation, not what happened during the whole marriage. I don't understand how you can leave someone who wasn't good for you and was just bringing you down to then still have your future ruined by that person. How can someone have that much power over you after you leave them! I don't understand how a government can force you to work and pay someone. I am sad, angry, frustrated... I don't know what to do with all of this, so I am venting here. I wish nothing good for her... I tried to make this all amicable, but like always, she's just greedy and after money. I felt so much better after leaving her, and now I feel like she's dragging me down again.

Note: For the sake of space I am very much oversimplifying everything here.

Coming out of a very long marriage. I don’t want to jump into another long term relationship right away. How do you date people more than once with an understanding you might see others? I assume up front communication but I’m thinking someone will be hurt eventually. Has anyone been through this?

Super difficult and painful relationship for past 6months. Found out she was interested in other people after making me move across the country for her job. I got upset, and she told me to get over it. She was cold and callous for months up until I threatened suicide and got a 5150. While in the mental hospital she asked my brother if she could visit me and my brother said no. Then I called her to let her know I was being discharged and she said she filed for divorce. Who tells someone that while in a poor mental state? Someone apathetic I guess. The whole thing is shitty but literally I went crazy bc she was hot and cold for months. Wanted me then didn’t want me. Has anyone else gone through the roller coaster of your ex flipping on you constantly?

My husband and I met in 2017, I was 19.

I fell in love so quickly, he made me so happy.

There was always things on his instagram that weren’t okay in the first 6 months, a lot of flirting and compliments to random women and women he knew.

1 year into our relationship he was illegally sexting an underage girl when he worked at the high school. We split and then got back together 6 months later.

6 months before our wedding I discovered a photo of his co worker on his phone.

1 week before our one year wedding anniversary I discovered a 3 year old reddit account with a fake identity and describing his “large” c*ck in his BIO.

He was following just about every porn account, messaging women in our city to meet up for sex, commenting, liking etc.

It broke us.

6 months after this for some reason I tried to give him another go, but fell deep into a depression.

1 day before my birthday I was recovering in a psych ward from a suicide attempt - my husband texted me and told me he was leaving. Locked me out of the bank account and took the physical cards from my wallet. Moved back in with his mum and ignored me basically ever since.

Ended up going to a lawyer because he wanted to take my car too. He has lost and I will end up with a lot of money.

But it doesn’t matter about the money,

He left me in such a horrible and cruel way after what he did to me.

He has convinced himself he is innocent and I’m the cruel person who got sick. I always had struggled with depressive episodes, before he even met me. He knew I had these episodes. He used my mental health against me told me it was all my fault. I was always open to communication and told him how I was feeling all the time but he never did, even though I sat patiently waiting with only kindness and support, I always was the best I could be with him because I loved him.

He was fine leaving me without saying sorry, fine leaving me without caring about our two cats, I asked if he missed them 4 months after he left and his response was “well I don’t miss the cat hair”.

It’s like something snapped in his brain and it wasn’t him anymore, I couldn’t look at him in his eyes because he was just so cruel and mean to me.

My heart is broken and I feel so heavy.

How could someone do this to me.

What did I do to deserve this.

I can’t stop crying. I think I need to call a helpline. I know I’m falling into an episode again and I see my doctor on Wednesday, I’m trying to hold it together but life has never been easy for me and this really has hurt me, more than anyone has. It hurts so much I have chest pain.

I posted in r/advice but feel it belongs here.

TLDR divorce in the US seems like financial suicide, I want to leave my emotionally abusive, lazy partner since I already feel like a single parent but feel stuck because of financial entanglements.

I've been with my husband for 15 years, married for 8. Our kids are 2 and 4 years old. He has been diagnosed with severe ptsd and adhd. Both of his parents were alcoholics and drug addicted. His mom is alive but their relationship is strained. I've begged him to get counseling because I see him exhibiting the same toxic behavior. He cannot stop smoking marijuana all day every day, he is never accountable, he is easily angered by our kids (but not violent), he has a nasty attitude towards me, and he doesn't help as much as I need him to. In fact, a few months into me working nights, my 2 year old needed extensive dental work because my husband wasn't brushing his teeth on most nights when I was at work. He is so lazy. I've begged him for years and years to get counseling, do couples counseling with me, etc and he just wont... he was briefly going to a counselor but once they mentioned inpatient being an option he stopped going in fear of being locked up involuntarily. I have been more patient than I should have in hopes he would get help and change his ways. I'm at the end of my rope.

Since our oldest was born, I chose to work while he stayed home, only because my career was able to pay for everything while his couldn't. I have a good paying job but still work an average of 60-70 hours a week. I could live off just 40, but I save for vacations, retirement and all of that for the both of us. I'm also in school full time. I ask him for very basic things like to clean the kitchen floor when it's dirty. He gives me a ton of pushback and attitude along with never ending excuses on why he can't do more than the dishes and picking up toys. On a regular night, he will wash dishes and pick up the kids toys around the house. I'm always made to feel as if I'm not doing enough to help after my 12 hour overnight shifts... on days off, I usually do all of the laundry, deep cleaning, ordering groceries, etc. I already feel like a single parent but with an additional bratty and rebelious teenager (husband). I'm just tired.

We live in the U.S. so my issue is that we own a home together (bought during covid, very low payment) and he has no income so I would likely be stuck paying him to keep doing nothing... he is the nasty type who would try and take the kids from me and keep our home too. He has rich family members that would just buy me out of our home if he needed them to. I'm worried to have to start completely over because in the area we live, houses are at least double what my payment is currently. I would struggle to find childcare for my overnight job. My kids and I would ultimately suffer. I'm really not sure what to do but I'm so miserable in this marriage. He is childish, aggressive and cusses at me regularly, triggering trauma for my not so great childhood. I did lots of therapy before having kids, but it still hurts to have this happening again, with our kids in the home.

I feel like a fool as I write this but I'm not sure how to end this... he won't get help and isn't willing to change. The kids and I deserve better.

My mother found out my dad has been cheating on her for the past two years (if not more) with the same woman.

My dad introduced me to that woman a few years ago telling me she was a friend and asked me to talk about my job (working in the cinema industry) to her kids who wanted to hear about it. I feel betrayed, my dad used me to look good in front of the woman he was cheating on my mother with.

I feel even more embarrassed that my dad always presented himself as this man full of principles about honesty, trust and sincerity since I was a child. To make it even worse a year ago he sent me a message that was meant to his lover and lied about it when I confronted him.

My mother offered to forgive him he stopped that relationship and he decided that he wanted to stay with that woman.

I really don’t know what to say to or feel about my dad and all I can see is how sad and angry my mother and sister are

For those who switched attorneys during the divorce process, how much money and time did the switch cost?

Some background: I chose my attorney based on their reputation as a negotiator, believing we would settle out of court. Unfortunately after 4 months of their side being totally inflexible, it looks like we're going to court. A second attorney I consulted with arguably has a better reputation as a litigator, so I'm considering switching to them.

M42, During our relation, my wife was not very responding to my needs and not carring a lot for me during most of the time we were together, 17 years. She was very self centered on her professionnal objectives and not really taking into account my wishes or needs. Despite i was leading the family for logistics and every day décisions. It was like normal for her that i was doing everything in the house or mostly. We sperated on her demand and now it's been a few days we are officially not together she is really nice to me. She care about my feelings ask me how i am wich never happened before. We even flirted and had sex (before we had sex, but never flirted). So now she teaches me her passions and she is lovely to me. I wonder wtf is going on in her head and why she was not like that before. I suppose she is relieved that i accepted nicely de separation ( i resisted a lot since months because was very attached to her) and now i do everything for it to go well but.. it's still strange.

Struggling to find what makes me happy anymore. I’ve tried a couple things but end up depressed thinking of her again. She’s dressing in a way that makes her happy. She seems to be having to time of her life at this job and 3 months into this separation I went from crying to smiling and now back to depressing even with my anti depressants. I know this will take years to get over but…..man I….don’t know what makes me happy anymore other than making the kids happy. I tried to get back into wrestling, anime, gaming, hit up a bar to try and find friends, nothing. Feel like an empty shell. Like I’m just….destined to be lonely and depressed.

I've known divorce is coming for a long time. My wife has pretty much told me our whole 16 years of marriage that she wants to divorce. We've stayed together thinking it's the right thing but it's clear she's unhappy, I'm unhappy. She shows no vibrancy or life, just angry and resentful all the time. Cusses all the time, especially around the kids, always angry about something. Tells me she's only here because of the kids, tells the kids they make her miserable. I think it's time for divorce but it just seems like such a huge task to go through and no way of knowing what's on the other side. I don't even know where to start, don't even know how to say the words that it's time. Both of us will never be happy together.

Where did you start when you finally realized it's time for divorce?

I've been divorced for 4 years now. I was wondering what kinda hobbies you guys do to keep busy and help get over the breakup??

I think the problem I’m facing right now emotionally is that I guess he “gave up” or whatever but I can’t figure out how to give up too. He didn’t communicate anything or try anything or give me a chance to try anything. It’s so crazy because we normally talk a ton about everything. Like was he not feeling capable of talking? Did he just assume I wouldn’t be able to address his issues? Did he assume he wouldn’t be satisfied no matter what? Idk it’s hard because we took marital vows and he clearly threw those out the window instead of telling me anything was wrong or trying at all to improve anything. There are probably a million different ways we could have either solved or attempted to solve whatever problem(s) there was/were. And I’m never really going to get a straight message from him on what it even was that was the main problem despite me being able to analyze everything after the fact on my own and figure it out. Just because I spent a bajillion hours analyzing things and figuring it all out on my own doesn’t mean that helps or anything. Like great, I think I understand. But he still would never have a straight conversation about it and be open about what the problem was. It just seems so cowardly and un-marriage like. The vows and relationship agreements that he made with me included things like communicating and solving problems. I’m just so disappointed and betrayed that he always said that was what we were good at but then I guess some sort of problem arose that he was unwilling or unable to communicate about or work on at all. I was being patient and playing the long game whenever he struggled or made things tough for me, trying to forgive and understand and help and repair the relationship after the issue was resolved. But I guess he … what … didn’t have it in him to do that for me? Didn’t want to? I don’t know. I’m terribly disappointed whenever I’m not feeling betrayed or enraged instead. Because we explicitly spoke about how our relationship was strong BECAUSE we always were brave enough to talk about the hard stuff with each other. And then he completely skipped that step on whatever it was and declared a divorce instead of even telling me anything, let alone discussing it or doing anything about it or giving me a chance to do anything about it.

How bad is it if I just think he is being sort of like, cowardly? I don’t think staying mad at him helps me. But I’m not sure how to get to the point where I can match his energy of having given up on this relationship. I don’t know how to get there because that’s not the type of person I am. I don’t just give up without trying first. It feels unfair that he is forcing me to have to do that. How do I get through the divorce if I can’t give up on the idea that it was very likely fixable and that he was just cowardly and wrong and made a huge mistake by not addressing whatever it was?

I’m currently living in the same house as my cheating husband. I can forgive, forget, and work on our marriage but he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want that and would rather separate. It hurts so much but I accept that. The divorce hasn’t been filed yet, so for now, I’m stuck under the same roof with him with our 4-year-old child.

It’s incredibly hard to deal with because I can’t simply block him and forget he ever existed. I see his face every day and talk to him, and we still have to co-parent until the day he leaves us for good to be with this new woman in the other side of the world. I just want the pain to end and feel normal again.

Has anyone been through something similar, and how did you cope?

Any advice or tips or even some kindness from strangers to get me through the day.

I’m not entirely sure how to word this. After leaving a 17 year relationship everyone else’s relationships just seem so alien and fake almost. Like I feel like how it was all before all of this and I’m back in my 15 year old mind set. Relationship seem so fake and to put it more bluntly, exhausting and not worth it. I spent so long catering to someone else I don’t want to do it again. But at the same time, I don’t want to be alone. The idea of dating scares me. I have a guy interested in me. He’s sweet but he reminds me a little too much of my ex. Not very confident, doesn’t drive or have a car and works at a gas station. I was blunt about us being only friends and see where it goes with the fact I may it clear it may never happen. Yet certain things he says makes me wonder if that got through to him. I don’t want a guy I have to take care of again. I want someone to take care of me for once in my life. But the idea of a relationship seems too foreign and fake anymore to the point I can only imagine negative things if I date this guy or any other guy. I feel lonely, but dating feels like a hassle too. Can anyone relate? How do I get past this? Or is it here to stay?

My husband and I have been together for 8 years next month. He's a good man, by most standards. He waits on me hand and foot. But he doesn't show emotion. He doesn't show love and if he does, I don't see it. He doesn't spend quality time with me but sits at his desk from the time he gets home until he goes to bed. He doesn't plan or take me on dates. My love language is gifts. He's spoiled. I buy him everything. He doesn't reciprocate my love language. I also have mental health issues and I've said I wanted a divorce a lot over the years, and I said it again. He's holding me accountable for that choice and I completely understand. I'm not mad at him for it. He doesn't deserve the yo-yo of my mental health issues that cause such a fluctuation in my moods. I am, by no means, innocent in this. I'm in therapy in hopes of healing. I have a lot of childhood trauma and I hate that it has taken me to this point to get help. I'm struggling so bad. My heart is shattered and my chest hurts. He's my person.