First time poster who recently realized I (26F) don't actually want kids. I realized that when I really thought about my life and what I wanted, the reasons I wanted kids were mostly based in cultural conditioning and stereotypes. When I really looked at what I wanted, I realized that while I would love to be an aunt or a godmother, I don't want the responsibility of raising a human being.

Ever since I turned 26, it's like I'm suddenly looking at my life and getting a much clearer understanding of what I want and what's right for me and despite how sudden it all seems, I felt so much relief when I realized I didn't have to have children. It's like 80% relief and 20% grief (despite this being the right choice for me), and I actually feel so relieved that I could cry.

Anyway, so glad there's a space like this where people can share their feelings and hear others perspectives. Having kids is very much the default where I live and while I love my friends and family who are parents or plan to be, I know my path is different than theirs and it's nice to feel like I'm not the only one.

I had minor surgery today to remove a cyst in my ear canal, and had a most interesting conversation with my prep nurse. I could not make this up.

Nurse: We need to do a pregnancy test.

Me: I've had a hysterectomy! 😁

N: it's not in your records, so we need to do one anyway.

M: no worries!

N: I mean, you never know!

M: Oh, I certainly do know!

N: Maybe you'll be a case of immaculate conception!

M: Oh god no! I know it's December but no! I am very child free.

N: Oh, you're still young. (author's note- I am 46)

M: I am VERY child free.

N: Hmm!

My (34F) bisalp was 6 weeks ago and I’ve gone through a bit of a grieving period since then. I want to preface this to say I don’t regret it, at all, it’s just brief feelings!

There was a very short period in my life when I wanted kids. I actively tried, conceived, miscarried and then felt grateful because I realised I only wanted it due to circumstance and it was a terrible idea. I realised I would be a terrible parent, I have zero family support, I have a high chance of a child with a disability due to genetics that skipped me, I am the product of an extremely mentally unstable mother and I don’t believe I could do better with my own kid, I can’t understand why people sign up for the nightmare of parenting and I’ve had multiple high needs pets my entire adult life preventing me from being spontaneous or booking every holiday I wanted, even just spending a night away sometimes.

After that experience, I spent the last decade rabidly childfree, researching sterilisation, joining many childfree communities, preparing for a life without kids etc.

But after my surgery something has mentally shifted. It’s hard to put into words but I don’t feel so disgusted by the whole concept of kids anymore. I’ve softened and instead now find myself saying things like “I missed the boat” or “under different circumstances maybe…”.

I’ve had a few “wtf have I done?” moments but they’re very brief and easily remedied by reminding myself of the long list of reasons why I did this and that it really wasn’t for me. Even if I wanted to in a couple of years, I’ll be nearly 40 by then and I still have so much living to do (travel when I’m pet-free).

I’m really just wondering if anyone else can relate to this experience of a mindset change after surgery? To clarify again, I’m absolutely not talking about regret, just a change in the way you look at your circumstances!

ETA: Thank you SO MUCH to those who have made meaningful and compassionate responses to this post. I want to clarify I’m not currently grieving, freaking out or upset. I really just wanted to open a dialogue because as another commenter mentioned, some people don’t talk about having mixed feelings after surgery, and/or a shift in mindset and the way they view their situation/parenthood.

Hey there!

I have something of a dilemma. I am seriously considering a destination wedding/honeymoon in the Caribbean. Now we are not *opposed* to honeymooning somewhere where children are present--we don't hate children; we're just choosing not to have our own. But at the same time, we don't want to stay somewhere that is primarily geared toward children and the adult experience is something of an afterthought.

The logical thing here would be to stay at an adults-only resort, but my little sister will be attending (I want her in my wedding party so "don't take your sister" is not an option) and on the day of the wedding she will be 14. I'd also like to hang out with her for a while during our stay too. This excludes her from being able to go to any of the adults-only resorts.

Our travel agent has suggested Beaches but so much I've read makes it seem way more geared toward younger children, and that's also not an experience we want. But we'll be open to it if the adult experience is a good one.

Has anyone stayed at a family-friendly resort and still found it a fun experience for child-free adults? Anyone have suggestions for great resorts where kids are allowed and adults can still find fun?

TIA for advice and tips!

My parents have always wanted grandchildren and they were absolutely devastated when they found out my ex got a vasectomy. The news made them break down and sob which was incredibly uncomfortable. This was a while ago and I still feel icky when I remember their reactions. I'm an only child who grew up with a lot of health issues and was told to avoid pregnancy if possible as I would be an immediate high risk. I don't mind the idea of non biological kids in my future but I refuse to go through pregnancy.

Well, I broke up with my ex and decided that I wanted to continue receiving the benefits of sterilization on my own terms so I easily got a bi salp scheduled. Unfortunately, I have to wait until December because the wonderful surgeon is apparently very high in demand. My gynecologist was uncomfortable performing the surgery in her outpatient office due to my medical history and I don't blame her so I was referred to the specialty surgeon. After the breakup a few months ago I moved in with my parents and I plan to live with them for about a year. It's been an interesting experience to say the least.

I obviously can't hide the surgery from them even though I really want to. I'm dreading their reactions and I'm 90% sure they won't kick me out. I wouldn't be surprised if they secretly hope grandkids are back in the picture because of the breakup. They know I'm ok with adopting or becoming a step mom but they value biological kids above all else.

Does anyone have any idea how I should approach this once again?

Edit: I'm not 100% sure that lying about what kind of surgery is the right path because they will demand to be the driver to take me home. I've had 20 surgeries in my lifetime and they've been at every single one. This means they'll hear what surgery I'm getting in the pre-op room. However, there were some good ideas and I might tell them I booked a small trip. I can hide the evidence of this surgery because I'm getting the procedure done vaginally instead of through the abdomen.

For anyone unaware there has been a protest over the past week or so

https://www.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/1476ioa/reddit_blackout_2023_save_3rd_party_apps

Because I mod only using a third party app, due to the serious lacking of tools and usability with the Reddit app. Also it completely fucks anyone with accessibility issues.

Now that Reddit admin is forcing the sub open I have to open it or else I will be removed as moderator and someone else who might not share the same direction of the sub that I have steered in this direction of niceness for the past few years.

As previous before the sub was shut down all submissions were filtered for quality and fitting content. That will continue. If I feel the posts or the user posting does not fit in with this sub. It will not be approved. I am really bothered by the actions of the reddit admins. But they have been force removing/replacing moderators. All of whom work for them for free. Who run their site. For free. We get nothing out of it.

If anyone has any ideas for the sib moving forward please feel free to suggest it below.

Further reading.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14cr2is/alternative_forms_of_protest_in_light_of_admin

I have a bisalp scheduled and I'm looking at my work's short term disability coverage to save my PTO if recovery goes longer than a week, but I can't figure out is it's even worth filling out/whether or not this will qualify.

Is this a thing anyone else has tried, and if so, was your claim approved?

10pm Friday night here and I'm eating icecream with sprinkles in bed while watching history docos on YouTube.

Going to a friends for lunch then to a local arts centre tomorrow.

What's everyone else doing this weekend?

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview?usp=sharing&pru=AAABgbyEz80%2Aki0mctT40bBlN9NCfbfg6w

I only ask because I know i do not want kids. Despite being certain about this, i would only ever adopt.

I was wondering if it would be a good idea to say something about sterilization to my doctor so there could be documented history of my stance of not wanting kids? I know the chances of it being allowed at my age is unlikely (especially as a woman) :/

However, I figured if i say something now, later down the line, they can see i felt the same before that point.

I hope the question makes sense

Edit: thanks for all input guys. I’ll mention it to my primary care doctor next time i see him in a few weeks.

I’m 29/F and while I don’t typically disclose my tubal to people outside my close friends and very supportive immediate family, it also isn’t something I hide. I’m in a liberal area and while I have some conservative family my friends and the people I have relationships with are all progressive so I’m definitely guilty of being in a bubble.

Anyhow, recently I was having a conversation with somebody I thought I was making friends with and we were discussing relationships etc. and about how she eventually wanted children. She knew I am CF but I also don’t have anything against having children responsibly and I was excited for her as she discussed her future plans.

Anyways, we were sharing some pretty vulnerable things and she mentioned how much birth control sucked, and without really thinking I said “Oh, I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about that anymore!” Obviously she asked what I meant so I just replied “My tubes are tied.” matter of factly thinking nothing of it. She was silent for a second and then just said “Oh… Wow.” In a way that sounded like she was trying to hide shock.

Then she slowly asked a couple odd questions, which I answered, and I apologized if I made her uncomfortable and we changed subjects. Since then she’s definitely distanced herself and even if it isn’t my fault I still feel a little dumb for blurting it out expecting it to be as well received as it had been for me previously. Lesson learned :(

I’m so excited!

When I started this process, my surgeon dad told me it was a bad idea because he’s old af and didn’t know what the procedure was. I told him to look it up. He did, and now he’s on board. ALSO! It’s 100% covered by insurance because of a family history of ovarian and breast cancer. (Not that that’s a great thing, but silver linings…) I have learned through this process that most ovarian cancers start in the fallopian tubes, so that’s a great reason to consider a bisalpingectomy over tubal ligation.

Question for those of you who’ve been through this: what am I looking at recovery-wise? Cramping? Bleeding? It’s laparoscopic, so I’m thinking it won’t be too bad. I have a high tolerance for pain and am pretty committed to getting over shit in general, but I do live alone.

So it happened again...

Went to the doctor and she tells me I'm not gonna get ny tubes tied at 32, I'm too young, I might meet someone someday, bla bla bla...

I'm at a loss. This was the only doctor in the childfree list in my country, if they won't do it idk who will... At least this one suggested the IUD or implant, something no other doctor did, saying the implant is too invasive and the IUDs are only for women with kids...

Even worse is I paid a lot out of pocket because this clinic doesn't accept any insurance. Im angry, I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I'm disappointed and I just wanna curl up in a ball and cry...

Edit: thank you all for the support, it's been really helping me deal with the disappointment.

I am 38, happily married, 2.5+ years sober, have a good career/income, and I am able to do what I want when I want to. Today, walking through Kew Gardens, I took a moment to think about how truly blessed I am and appreciate that this moment would not be possible if I had a child. I took a week long solo vacation to London, saw all the sites, ate at nice restaurants, went shopping, did all the things when, where, and how I wanted to.

If you can, take a moment to appreciate how your life is positively impacted by being child free 💕

I try not to over analyze people’s words, but especially when it comes to the topic of children I think phrasing is an important tell. I’ve ended a relationship with someone I loved over the kid thing, someone who thought I would change my mind, and never want to go through that again if I can help it. If it is not a resounding “No, I don’t want kids either” should I cut my losses?

Feeling fairly alone and defeated. Me (30) and my husband (32) have now formally decided we do not want children of our own.

The problem is I love kids. I always say in another life I would have been a nanny. I love talking to them and being around them and playing with them. I don’t mind their crying or frustrations. I think they are such fun, wonderful, little people.

It’s really our personalities and priorities that are the reason we don’t want to have kids. We like to be selfish and do the things we want to do whenever we want to do them. We like traveling and getting ourselves nice things and being able to save for early retirement.

I am also a very sensitive and emotional person, and I know I would not have what it takes to be a mom or would repeat the poor behaviors of my mom. I need quiet time and can easily get overstimulated or frustrated. I hate being rushed. I don’t like neediness and I don’t find it cute when moms joke about having to hide away to eat a snack so their kids don’t take it… it upsets me that they have to live like that.

I have a nephew and adore him and drive 3 hours to watch him often, but seeing the financial and mental toll it takes on my sister is so hard. Our familial support system is limited. I know I don’t have the chops to thrive as a mom… I mean, I had debilitating puppy blues for nearly 5-6 months when we got our dog… I can’t imagine how bad it would be with a human child.

Which brings me to my purpose of this post. I have tried to join childfree communities to not feel so alone, and am frustrated because I can’t find others who are like me…people who love kids but just know parenthood isn’t the right choice for them. It feels like some groups are just a hotbed for nothing but dehumanization and demonization of children…

I really need support from similar minded people… are there others who feel the same? How have you found community or solace? All my friends have kids now except for 1 (who is always out of town for work). I just feel lost and can tell being childfree in my 30s is going to be incredibly difficult and lonely.

Obligatory long time lurker, first time poster, on mobile.

I have been thinking about bisalp/tying tubes for a long time now but it has always been sort of in the back of my mind. I've mainly been trying to get an IUD or the implant first cause I sometimes forget the pill.

I've had 2 doctors saying no, one because she wasn't comfortable with it being too invasive (but then recomends the vaginal ring) and the other because it's bad for my mental health. I'm on antidepressants and specifically asked my psychiatrist and he said it wouldn't make any difference.

This last doctor I asked about tying my tubes and she said not to do it because it would be terrible on my mental health and she's had patients having nightmares after doing it (I call bs on that). I argued that wouldn't keeping me on hormones or potentially having to go through an abortion be worse but she doubled down and said i could either get the pill, ring or patch. I opted for the patch.

Fast forward a month and a half I'm using the patch. I hate it cause it gets all dirty around the borders because of the glue, I'm not liking it. Then in the middle of cleaning I tossed the box and couldn't remember if the one I had was the last or not. This was the final straw and I booked an appointment at a clinic in the childfree doctors list.

I talked to my bf, he doesn't see the need to be so drastic but supports my decission either way. I have been discussing it with my therapist (not my psychiatrist) and she wants me to wait until we figure out what issues I have with having kids and where my fear of getting pregnant comes from.

I feel like I have discussed this multiple times at length and can't for the life of me figure out any deep meaning or reason for it, but the truth is I was a bit scared of making the appointment. Anybody have any advice about this? What were your experiences prior to getting the snip?

A woman in my friend group has been with her partner for over ten years, married for about 6 years. She had expressed to me in the past that she didn't want kids but her spouse did. About a year ago another friend that struggles with infertility told me that this friend and her husband were in counseling and it was so great that the friend was getting to a place where she was ok with possibly having a baby. When I heard this at the time I was horrified to think that her husband and therapist were probably applying intense pressure to convince her to have a child that she didn't want to have.

Well, I saw this friend this past weekend and she told me that she's pregnant. I was shocked and just said "Wow". I don't normally react this way when a friend tells me they are pregnant. I usually mirror their delivery of the news. If they're happy, I'm happy that they're happy. However, she said it so matter of factly. Almost like this was something that was happening to her, she was not a participant in it. It was bizarre and I'm a little saddened by it all.

I have no doubt that she will be a good mother and love her child. I really, really hope the best for her and her future child in this situation.

Hope this is ok to post here, as it relates to sterilization—and marked NSFW in case anyone feels sensitive about menstrual talk. I’d love to hear any experiences of changes in level of pain while menstruating, mood fluctuations around period week, length of your cycle, etc, or if it stayed the same as it was before. I’ve tried looking online but can’t find much about it. Thanks in advance!

ETA: removed the part about no longer ovulating, as I’ve learned that a) you still do and b) I was once again failed by the American sex-education system.

I just wanted to post about my experience getting a bilateral salpingectomy, as I read so many posts here prior to my surgery and found them so helpful!

For context I am in Portland, OR and a 26 year old cis woman. I've always known that I didn't want children and a few months ago mentioned to my PCP that I'd been considering surgical sterilization. Without hesitation she referred me to the family planning clinic! A few weeks later I met with a CNM there who told me about the procedure and the risks and then had me sign the consent. She briefly mentioned the required "some people regret this", but not once did she try to talk me out of it or bingo me. I mentioned to her that it was really nice to not have to prove myself and she basically said "we trust that people know what they want to do with their own bodies". After that I scheduled my bisalp a couple of months out (as that's when they were scheduling).

Morning of the procedure I checked in 2 hours prior and filled out some paperwork, talked to a million people (it was a teaching hospital so lots of residents, fellows, nurses, etc.) in pre-op, got my IV, and then they rolled me back ahead of schedule! Everybody on my team was so nice and took great care of me, there was not one comment about the nature of the procedure other than logistics. They put me to sleep and the next thing I remember is waking up in post-op. I was a bit weepy when I woke up (this is common for me, and also for the young woman demographic!), in a bit of pain (about a 3-4 on the pain scale), and also quite cold. The nurse gave me ice packs for my abdomen and had me eat some Jello before giving me Tylenol and Oxycodone. She also got me lots of warm blankets and turned on the Bair Hugger (basically a machine that blows warm air), and then I was nice and toasty. The ice + meds definitely helped and I snacked on some crackers and such and drank some water for 10 or so minutes. I was expecting a sore throat from being intubated but it wasn't an issue! Then another nurse came to bring me back to my original room where my partner was. We noticed one of my 3 incisions was a bit "leaky" and, while not concerning, she added a bit of a pressure dressing to be safe. At that point the nurse had me get dressed to leave, and the OB docs came to check on the leaky side and said it was all good. While the docs were there, they also showed me all of the pictures they took inside and explained everything to me, which was really interesting! I thanked them for making it so easy to get the procedure done and they were so kind and understanding. At that point the nurse gave me my final instructions, and then I was sent on my merry way less than 5 hours after arriving (with my partner driving me home).

As for meds they sent me home with, I was given:

- Oxycodone 5 mg (I only expect to take this for the first day or so as I'm not really in pain)

- Extra strength Tylenol (500 mg)

- 800 mg Ibuprofen

- Miralax

I'm home relaxing now and, aside from some soreness, I'm feeling fine. Can move around fine, no gas pains in my shoulder or anything (not yet at least, I know they can come up the next day after it has a chance to move around), and minimal pain. I have had a tiny bit of vaginal bleeding, but nothing more than a light period, and to be expected. The weight off my shoulders I already feel from having this is immense, and I highly recommend it to anybody considering it! It was overall much easier than I expected, and I'm so glad I did it.

A bit of a long post, but I know I was so thankful for the people that posted their experiences so I wanted to post mine as well :) And happy to provide an update in a couple of weeks on the healing process! If anybody would like information on my specific doctors, I am happy to discuss in a message!

I can’t believe it— today was the day of my procedure and it still feels like it’s not real. I’m 21 years old and never have to have any more worries about accidental pregnancy, or being forced to carry. no more stress. no more awful side effects from birth control. all I have to do is focus on healing, and then I’m free.

I met with a doctor off the child-free list and after a pretty short and straight to-the-point meeting with her, where there were zero zingers besides the fact that she was legally required to mention the “potential for regret,” we scheduled my surgery and I got it this morning.

I’m in a little bit of discomfort, but not enough to have had to take more than Ibuprofen or Tylenol. frankly, the insertion of the IV was what bothered me the most, even more than anything post-op so far.

It’s insane to me that it was something so accessible, and especially that it was so gender-affirming considering the fact that I’m a transgender man. I wish that all doctors took the autonomy of their patients when it comes to fertility/sterilization as seriously. anyways, this post is just a bit of a celebration for me after being a lurker on here for a few years now. I hope everyone reading this gets the same supportive healthcare and treatment that you want and deserve.

I'm interested to know how others here have handled discussion with children in your family about why you don't have kids of your own.

My niece and nephew are 2 and 6 and I was sort of expecting this issue to come up at some point but it came a bit sooner than expected out of the blue this weekend when the 6-yr-old suddenly piped up with "Are you gonna have a kid?"

This has been a complicated one for me as before I was happily child free I did want to be a mother and it used to be quite a difficult topic between my sister and I. So I thought it was probably not a coincidence that my nephew waited until I took him to get an ice cream and we were away from her and other family members to bring it up.

I was quite blindsided by the question and just said "oh I don't know at the moment", to which he replied "well, do you want one?" Which was even harder! I said something like "I'm not sure you know - not everyone has kids and I'm very busy with my work, plus you and your sister are enough for me!" He seemed satisfied with that and didn't mention it again.

Was this a good way of dealing with this situation? I don't like lying to children and wanted to be honest but I wasn't quite comfortable saying "no, I would never want one".

Thanks all

I've been under the weather this weekend with a cold and just keep thinking about how hard it would be to feel even mildly sick with kids in the house. As a woman in my 30s I feel like everyone I know is having kids these days and it's made me think a lot more about my choice not to live that lifestyle. I've spent all weekend laying on the couch, playing video games or cuddling my dogs, and eating comfort food. No one asking my to do anything or take care or them. My husband is working all weekend but is still around some of the time to keep the house running and gran things for me. Running out to CVS to grab cough drops and some ice cream drained my energy and I just keep thinking that if I had kids I would be running around with them all day or my husband would have needed to call out of work, resulting in loss of income for our household.

All in all just feeling very grateful about my decision not to have kids today, especially when it seems like everyone else around me has baby 1, 2, or 3 on the way.

I told my gyno I wanted to discuss "more permanent forms of birth control," and she immediately offered to take my tubes out. No beating around the bush with the mention of the IUD, my partner, my age, etc. Additionally, she told me that while I'm under she can install the IUD during the bisalp for the sole purpose of doing away with menstruation. I was completely flabbergasted. I have a surgery date for the middle of April now, meaning that in less than a month I won't have to worry about my biology betraying me. I won't even have the monthly reminder that I have a reproductive system.

I feel so validated and liberated already. I want to shout it from the rooftops, but there's not many people in my life who can understand my happiness about this. I'm so glad I've found a community here that can uplift and support me as I undergo these next steps in my child free life. Cheers!

Finally scheduled my bisalp and I'm so excited!

I’ve shared the details below for those interested, but also I’ve felt so supported that I wanted to add this doctor to the list of doctors in Ontario who are understanding and approachable. Anyone know how to do that?

I (late-20sF, Ontario) asked my family doctor to refer me to a gyno to "discuss birth control options" instead of for sterilization. Although my doctor is lovely, he also treats the rest of my family and we come from the same (misogynistic-y) cultural background so I didn't want to risk having to convince him of my desire, especially because he's made comments in the past about some of my prescriptions that we'd have to revisit them when I want to start a family. He's lovely but just a different generation so I didn't feel like upending his expectations.

I got the referral 3 months ago and I show up to the clinic yesterday and for some reason I didn't realize it would be a male doctor, so I was nervous about being mansplained to or something. The doctor was surprisingly super duper nice. He asked me what I wanted, lectured me (in a friendly way) about the privacy health act when I explained why the paperwork was wrong about what I was there for (lol).

He then listened without interrupting when I told him why I want a bisalp and told me he respects that I've done my research and that I've obviously thought a lot about this and that it's my body and my choice but he appreciates that I've discussed it with my partner beforehand, and boom! I'm scheduled for mid-May!! Should be healed up in time for my scheduled vacation :D

I didn't even have to use my cheat-sheet of why I have a right to choose this for myself, the rates of regret for women under 30 who get sterilized, etc. He interestingly noted that he would never suggest a tubal because Canadian gynecologists have come to the conclusion that tubals are just the worse choice: if you're going in there anyway, and the tubal removal means lower risk of ovarian cancer, his opinion was that it's malpractice essentially to push people to do a tubal. So that's nice!

I don't have anyone other than my partner to really share this with so I wanted to post here and encourage others to go for it if they've wanted it done but haven't had the courage to try. :)

I've been in two relationships, both with guys who were 100% sure about having kids. It wasn't a direct reason why we broke up cause we were still too young to make that kind of decision but the stress of me being a fence-sitter was definitely there. Now that I'm getting a bit older, I feel like I understand myself better and realize that I wouldn't necessarily be happy as a mom. I love children and I'm great with them, but I have some mental heatlth issues (anxiety, oversensitivity etc.) that I think could make it really tough on me to be a mother. I can imagine my life with just travelling, doing my job that I love, going to gym, going out, maintaining friendships, having downtime to take care of myself etc. It seems easier and more peaceful. But I would love to have a partner by my side while doing all that and I'm scared that most guys will reject me if I do decide I'm childfree. Im only a couple weeks after my second breakup so I'm not dating and not looking for anyone right now but when I'm back there, I think I will only date people who are fence-sitters themselves or CF. Even though I'm not sure myself, I can't handle the stress of knowing my partner is hell-bent on children and I may have to breakup with them one day. And I'm scared that those guys are in minority and I'll just end up alone...

Edit: Thank you guys so much for all the comments and encouragement. I'm going through a pretty tough time - breakup with a guy I thought was the one, only couple months out of college, having a bit of a quarter-life crisis. Im reevaluating a lot of things and feel like I just needed something as stupid and simple as don't worry and stay true to yourself 🥰

Also, because this seems to be recurring theme in the comments, i would never consider having a child simply to have a guy. I thought that was obvious. Im just a bit worried that being CF/fencesitter may make it difficult to find a partner but Im definitely not saying: there aren't many CF guys out there so maybe I have to settle and have children.

Hi everyone!

I (23F) am in the process of getting a bisalp, my surgery is in two weeks. I first met my gynecologist in November, and we started the mandatory 4-month reflexion period.

I have my second appointment tomorrow to confirm my will of sterilization, and I’m also meeting the anesthesiologist.

I have a small list of questions ready, some for administrative stuff, like the length of medical leave (so I can organize my work before leaving), and I have taken good notes of precedent posts in here to ask for photos of the operation!

I wanted to know if you had any more tips on things I can ask (I really think I may forget a few since I’m 100% into it right now and don’t have any step back), to my gynecologist as well as to the anesthesiologist? I have to say I’m terrified of the anesthesia as it’s my first surgery ever.

I’m also getting my hormonal IUD replaced during the surgery. I’m a bit afraid of both the pain of surgery + IUD replacement after. Did any of you also got these two combined and have feedback on this?

In the same way, do you have any advice for recovery? I live alone and have a cat at home to take care of.

EDIT: Thank you SO much to all of you for your answers and tips! I'm going to do everything ahah. Both of my appointments went great today, even if we made a change. I won't be getting an IUD switch after all: my doc suspects I have endometriosis, and wants to treat it directly at the source so I don't have to deal with an IUD for the rest of my life. I'll have some exams to take about that and we'll see in time! If I can I'll keep you updated after the surgery.

The entire time we were walking through the hot tub showroom I was thinking how amazing it feels to have complete freedom with our money. My SO has wanted a hot tub since I met him 5 years ago and he has worked very hard to be able to afford one with all the bells and whistles and was large enough to fit him and our friends. We're in our late 20s and we had a very rough start for 2023. But, we're determined to make this year the year we achieve personal goals and desires while strengthening our relationship. Our lifestyle would be nearly impossible if we had children.

I cannot wait to see where the CF life will take us next! Christmas in Portugal perhaps?