I'm in my late/mid 20s and I already feel like my life is over. I dropped out of college with massive amounts of debt and that's honestly the main cause of all of my anxiety and everything. But because I was an idiot I've been making payments of basically most of my paycheck for a couple years now. I'm lucky I have the grace of my parents letting me live with them to help me save money, but I'll never be financially stable enough to live on my own. Because of my idiocy my parents have also not been emotionally great though. Paying money to them for stuff like bills is fine, but they generally tend to make me feel down by making fun of my weight or telling me I could have done so much better and that everything I worked for when done the drain; which I cant argue against cause its all true. I never feel safe in my own room anymore cause they barge in daily and just tell me for a good 20-30 minutes how much of a failure that I am, mostly my mother. On top of it all I don't have any usable skills to be able to move up in anything, and every job I've had since I started working has been low paying and makes me miserable. I honestly don't know how people have the perseverance through having 2-3 jobs when I feel so tried working 35+ a week (if I even get that many hours). And even for things I enjoy I've had very little drive. For videogames things have felt like a chore, I've mostly just been confined to my bed and watching videos of other people enjoying themselves and having fun or just being better at things. I did want to pick up hobbies like an instrument or drawing, but I never get far into it cause I'm unskilled and am terrible at everything I start. People keep telling me practice takes perfect but progress just takes so long and I have no creative imagination to make anything that I feel is worth anything. I've tried exercising too, and I absolutely hate it. I hate the feeling of being tired, I hate the feeling of being sweaty, being outside is always uncomfortable. I just hate the person I am; I'm unable to change, unable to improve, unable to be good at anything; I'm just a failure that no one can love. And before anyone says to try a psychiatrist, I've tried. I even took medication and it didn't work, nothing works for me. I'm just a lost cause that cant even help themselves. I'm just an awful person who doesn't deserve to be happy.

I always see people out enjoying their lives eith their friends, it's weird to see them so wanted by those around them. Doing all these cool things, making all these nice memories, experiencing things at a normal pace. All while I'm alone, by myself, rotting and withering away. I remember when I was in uni before I dropped out, for the induction day, how fun woukd it have been had I had friends to explore with

So uh i don't know how to organize this, but I have a marriage that's on the ropes and a lovely 2 year old girl in the middle and I don't want to lose either, but I'm deluding myself actively into thinking that I'm never actually wrong about anything, even when I objectively do or say something shitty (i.e. "it's not my fault she's insecure! it's not my fault my perfectly normal but objectively dickish joke got her all offended!) and I have no fucking clue how to stop hurting my wife.

I probably have an untreated attention disorder, maybe a mood disorder to boot. I look for the easiest, most pleasurable thing to do at every opportunity (thank God I haven't cheated yet), and always ignore the hard shit. I bury my head in the sand in the face of any real responsibility until shit actually hits the fan. I have huge organizational issues, and struggle doing anything that I can't already do.

I was incredible at school, and my parents coddled me for it. Just being better than the people around me at school was easy, and I was rewarded for it. I left my hometown, went to a great school, and ended up a teacher. Even being honest with myself, I'm not terrible at it, but it really doesn't help that I'm in charge of people objectively inferior to me when I'm talking about how I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm better than everyone else around me.

I love my wife. She's strong, smart, and way kinder than she needed to be. I don't want to lose her. How do I become a better person for my family?

I saw a post similar to this on the same sub, but life feels repetitive and meaningless, I go to school, chill with my “friends” get in trouble in class because I have severe ADHD and I physically can not get help from my mom because she refuses to even take me to a doctor. My “friends” get mad and say that I don’t have any real friends. I go to my mobile home at the end of the day because we can’t afford anything else. It’s always this or a variation of this everyday. The only reason I haven’t ended it all yet is because I have a goal that I sure as shit don’t wanna miss out on.

Hi everyone. For the past six months, I have been constantly questioning myself if I’m still the same Harry. When my ex dumped me in October and finally blocked me in December I began spiralling. I was diagnosed with OCD and battled all kinds of OCD you can think of; paedophile OCD, gay ocd, trans ocd etc. but after diving really deep into my sissy porn and BBC cuckold addiction began spiraling, like crazy, questioning my gender.

I love men’s clothes and I’ve always loved my beard and hated my man boobs. I have a cuckold fetish. I have a problem with that and I’ve gone to therapy for it, but it really turns me on and I find it hot and my brain told me that I have to experience it and I think part of it is because I’m questioning my gender hole fetish, and sometimes I want to watch another man have sex with my girlfriend in front of me… I have a problem with that and I’ve gone to therapy for it, but it really turns me on and I find it hot and my brain told me that I have to experience it and I think part of it is because I’m questioning my gender.

I have suffered a severe porn addiction and I’m battling BBC cuckold porn…. There are some scenes where the cuck cleans up his girlfriend’s genitalia with his tongue after the bull is done with her and I can’t help but feel that I need to experience this. I am not gay at all but find myself needing this experience.

Apart of me also thinks because I like this I should be a woman because I feel like I belong to the weaker and subservient sex because I enjoy watching other men fuck my girl.

Is this ocd? What is going on…

I need to watch my girlfriend get fucked by another man. I have a sissy porn and cuckold porn addiction. I have watched a man watch his woman get fucked and I need this to happen. I have ocd and I’m afraid of watching myself become a trans person.

The video that I watched showed a man watch his beautiful girlfriend sleep with a much stronger man. He was black and his penis was much larger. As he pulled it out she started sucking more passionately; clearly more than she did with him. Long story short she was fucked hard while she was bent over. While she was bent over, she started rubbing his pants and teasing him, getting him hard and making fun of him for enjoying the sight. He was in despair watching his girlfriend get fucked. When the black man moaned more he said I am gonna cum where she turned around and had him cum on her face and mouth. Then, she went over to the cuck and they started kissing, he licked the semen off her face.

I hate to say it but I came so much to this and I want this to happen. It’s safe to say that I’m trans and I would be better being a woman because if I enjoy watching the sissy or cuck in the videos it would be acceptable to be a woman so I can be weaker and subservient like the cuck in the video.

Please help me get over this :( I don’t want to be trans. I just want to be Harry Owen again! I want to be Harry! Please get these thoughts out of my head. Please please please fuck my life.

I reconnected with a guy friend in December. Prior we hadn't spoken in 5 years. Since reconnecting we've grabbed coffee twice and the other day I went over and we hung out and played scrabble. In a friend way, I love this guy. He's just so lovely and emotionally intelligent with a lot of friends. I don't doubt at least some mutual attraction but that's such a small factor.

Thing is, I was in a long term relationship until February which turned kind of bad. I'm also currently unemployed and just recovering from my chronic illness. I'm kind of a mess, not a total mess, but since the break up I went on a couple hinge dates and realised I am not living by my values right now. I didn't want to be single at 29, but I am, and I want to validate myself right now. I don't want to give into the impulse to seek validation from other single people around me, which is kind of what I have been doing.

Even though I have only seen this friend a few times I have been super open about it, my breakup and everything else, since he is such a safe space. I'm just a bit messy right now. And I know he is in a place where he is ready for a real relationship. I feel for sure if I expressed anything right now, I would receive a rejection (especially because jumping from a 3.5 year relationship into somethign serious 3 months later seems NOT SMART even if the option were available).

He also has met one girl recently. He said he isn't sure if it will go anywhere, but he is burnt out from apps so he's off them now.

I'm going to focus on myself and recovering health/from this break up for the next few weeks. I want to get myself into a less chaotic head space. Maybe we will grab coffee after a while and things won't have worked out with this girl, but maybe they will and it will be one of those missed timing scenarios!!

I guess I'm feeling some sadness at missing out on having a closer relationship with this great person, but a platonic relationship is much better than nothing!

I (21F) can only get over my attachment to a guy by getting attached to a new one how can I stop?

In the periods of where I don't have a guy to attach to, I'll reminisce and think 24/7 about the last guy and it's hurtful because I really want to get over them and leave it all in the past. But I cannot move on unless there's someone else to attach to and usually there isn't someone for a while. I just want to end this cycle because the last guy was rude and crazy but it makes me romanticize the good parts for so much longer as there's no one else to think about. And then I'll get into the mindset that it was more good than bad when it really wasn't. Any advice would be appreciated:)

This probably sounds odd or like some rendition of Stockholm syndrome, but I've discovered that I find a strange comfort in struggling with life's qualms. I grapple with trying to find my purpose or why the hell I'm even here, but I never want to find these things. I don't crave any resolution, I want no answer to my "why."

Am I alone?

But I will 100% choose being alone over having to deal with any one of those things on a daily basis.

This is the sort of thing I'm talking about https://tenor.com/en-GB/view/yes-gif-25833447 but I do it over nothing in particular... I'll just be sitting at my desk at home and I'll do it kind impulsively.

I don't do it in front of people because I know it's cringe but when I'm alone I do it several times an hour just because it feels good?

met this girl through a groupchat we were in together on instagram. She was 15F and i was 17M. We used to chat occasionally but I always thought she looked gorgeous to me. I wont get too much into the details, but we slowly started talking more and more(or so I thought, since i was the one who always carried our conversations). The more i texted her, the more i grew obsessed with her. On her birthday (November), I wished her happy birthday, posted an instagram story and went to sleep. When I checked my phone later that day after waking up, I saw that she had texted me," Would you like to date me?" I was obviously down to date her but still was confused as to why she would ask me something like that. We still had kind of flirted a while back, but this coming from her was pretty weird to me. I joked around a bit about that message but did say yes, to which she just said, "nah, I'm not looking to date online." I understand that people don't wanna date online, but why would she ask me that if she never intended to say yes? I still agreed to be friends but I just couldn't hold a normal conversation with her anymore. Eventually, I just unfollowed her. All of this happened around November 2023. Currently, it's april 2024, and I still somehow can't forget her. I go out everyday, have been asked out by another girl I know irl, but I just can't focus on anyone except her. This is extremely weird and annoying and I just wish I could still have her. I don't think I'll ever truly move on from her. I might find someone again in my life, but I'll never be able to forget her. I feel like an idiot P.S. Before someone says "you can't fall in love with anyone you've never met," it might not happen to you, but you can still catch feelings with people without having physical contact.

"Yeah, that's it. Did I just see you comment that something I mildly disagree with? I'm going to accuse you of knowing nothing about the topic or will try to prove myself with aggresive takes and ad hominems." This is how y'all sound when you furiously type that reply to that guy who said some mildly nonconforming stuff, people no longer explain themselves. My most recent example was I was arguing with a guy on reddit (ikr my bad) about why AI automation of art is bad, my argument was unless human emotions are involved, it couldn't be considered art and people INSTANTLY interjected saying shit like if I think art is all about myself I'm a really bad artist. Shit, I ain't even an artist. Not one that does commercial stuff anyway. This is just one example of countless arguments I've been in, and I'm actually tired of the lack of intellectual discourse. People have this mindset of "You disagree with me? You obviously don't know shit, or else it would mean that I don't know anything, which is not true". I know it's nothing new and probably existed since Adam fucking Eve but this side of social media feels incredibly exhausting to me. Thanks for listening to my ineloquent and barely coherent generic rant.

I wanna start off by saying this might be the most unhinged thing you end up reading today, or maybe not who knows! I am going to try to make this not super cringe, and weird.

So I was born, and raised in Norway. I have lived here all my life, and I am not white, but I am half white. My bio dad is black, and my bio mom is fully white if you saw me in real life you would never guess that I am half white. I have no resentment over my white half, but I call myself black, and view myself as black, because thats what the world around me has always called, and treated me like.

Now obviously most people I have been around my whole life have been white, and naturally that affects you. Over time as I have gotten older(Im only 21) I have noticed in terms of the people I am attracted to the most, they tend to be white, and there is nothing wrong with that, but at times I feel a bit weird about it. Being one of the few non white people in my shitty little town didn't help me when I was in school in terms of making friends, and socializing etc. I am attracted to every race, and generally would not say I have any preferances, and since most people are white ofcourse most white people are going to prefer white people back.
Also I need to make this VERY clear I have never been, or will never be the type of person to hate on the opposite sex of my race, or any other group at all, thats wack.

I am just mad at the circumstances I have been put in like I am supposed to fail, and how I am disadvantaged in this way, I just wanted to vent to make myself feel a bit better.

If you for some reason had the misfortune of stumbling upon my post, and ended up reading it thank you.

sorry if the grammar is awful.

I've been making an effort to hit the gym when work permits (not often, but twice so far this week). I've lost a lot of weight and I'm feeling good about being able to work out more on top of my meal planning.

Anyway, I was doing core day today by the dumbells and a girl sat by me for her own workouts. I was mostly focused on my own stuff, but out of the corner of my eye I'd catch her looking up at me for a few seconds before each set.

Probably Definitely imagined it. Not much to look at here, or rather far too much. Probably looking past me. Still, it's nice to imagine at least.

My dads really stressed because of money and other family things and on top of that my sister is lowkey useless right now and mother is not really doing much to help earn money. Meanwhile I’m going overseas for a job offer and it doesn’t pay much at all. I’m worried since my dad owns his own company, that things might happen if he gets sick then we’d have no source of income and I’ll need to come back. He doesn’t take care of his health and I won’t even be earning much to support them. I wasn’t even able to get a high paying role in my country.

I really like this job offer though and I feel guilty for taking it especially knowing my family needs money. It’s beneficial for my career, been my dream for a bit and perhaps I can do something on the side.

I F23 am not nervous around him M27 but i think i like him. I dont have any experience tho

I’ll start by saying that i have almost 0 experience with men, never had a boyfriend, never went on dates. Never even had a first kiss lol i just had lots of flirty encounters on nights out and etc but always rejected them and i just never let kissing or hookups happen.

People never believe me when i tell them so, cause i am perceived as attractive and look like a ‘maneater’.

If ur asking yourself why i never experienced any of the stuff above, its just a mix of life situations and eras and also a personal choice cause i never genuinely liked someone, besides one guy in 2022 but he was only interested in hooking up so nada.

Ok now to the real issue here;

In 2022 i started going out to clubs and i noticed this guy A, who was always there with his friends. He caught my eye because of his looks. We had some interactions and he also added me on insta but things got weird, idk. Anyway he stopped texting me and we lost touch and he also stopped saying hello when he saw me.

Fast forward to exactly one month ago, i end up at a bar with A, a mutual acquaintance and my bestie. We both acted as if it was our first time talking. We mainly talked to each other and things were lowkey but highkey flirty… I knew he thought i was hot. After the bar closed he proposed the 4 of us go to a hotel for an ‘after’ but they were all fully booked.

The weekend after we see them again at a club but A leaves early so our interactions are almost limited to nothing.

The weekend after that we end up hanging out again, and we also go to an after together. I won’t talk about the details, but again, the flirting got more obvious. Especially in moments where we were completely alone. By flirting i mean things like spraying our perfumes on each other, him telling me i look good, saying he likes my hands and hands are things he finds important in a girl etc.

When we laid on the couch, with me next to him and my bestie next to me, he also touched my leg. I kinda let him, kinda removed his hand. I also felt like at one moment he was ready to kiss me but i didn’t let it happen.

And then finally this last weekend… We randomly meet again. We were 5. We somehow manage to stand at the same table with everyone but kinda exclude ourselves from the others. We talk in each others ears and what i felt last month, when touching him, is now 10 x times stronger.

Its like some kind of magnetic pull. Its so satisfying. In those moments i felt such a need to be close to him and touch him it just felt so right.

Mind you, we were just talking and updating each other about our week and etc. At some point he tells me to go outside with him so that he can smoke a cig. (Again, i noticed he creates situations to be alone with me) and we just held hands to go outside which is so unnecessary but it just… happens?

Anyway, after a while we end up alone again in another room at this bar, cause he was smoking again and asked me for my perfume. Which was an excuse i guess.

I end up hugging him out of nowhere. He tells me i am super emotional and i have a wall around me that needs to be teared down.

And then he said “if we would kiss it would be absolutely insane”. And i asked him what he meant. We sat down on a couch and he put his hand on my leg, said “do u feel this? Look how ur breathing changes when i touch u, you feel it right? You feel the energy, u feel whats going on?”

I don’t quite remember what i said, cause i was drunk, but i told him i think i do feel it. He then told me i should ask him if he is attracted to me. I laughed and asked. He said yes thats why this is happening, this feeling etc. And then he repeated that if we’d kiss it would be out of this world.

He finally asked for my number, which took him a month btw. After that we got interrupted.

And shortly after we all went home. (He texted me the whole day on Saturday but then nothing lol)

He does know i never had a boyfriend nor anything else and when i told him that again, while he was telling me he is attracted to me, i asked him “but u do believe me when i tell u i have 0 experience etc” and he said “i do but we’ll see with time if i can trust what u say” OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. He also told me he’ll never touch me if i dont want to.

The thing is… do i like him? Its weird that i don’t feel nervous with him? My heart is not racing like crazy? Cause these were symptoms i had with my first real crush two years ago.

I feel weirdly comfortable with him and the touching, wanting to be close, flirtiness seems to come so natural. I think i never felt something like this? It got more intense each time i saw him.

But i don’t understand why i am not acting crazy head over heels like i was with my other crush (in my mind and body i mean). I am way calmer and i feel good. Also the magnetic pull kind of thing i felt this last time i spoke with him was something i still cant explain to myself.

Also, most men that have approached me have been way more ‘direct’ with me and straight up flirted HEAVY and initiated physical touch immediately. But not A. Its been gradual and its been ‘clean’ asf if u ask me. I really think he is attracted to me but of course i can’t be sure of how much and if it’s anything worth my thoughts in that sense.

I already told myself i would let him kiss me if he tries to. And just to clarify, i am not looking for a relationship. Its not my priority so if he doesn’t want a relationship thats maybe even better for me lol cause i dont see myself there.

Any insight on this situation is much appreciated.

So I'm not comfortable sharing what I'm like with people because I'm terrified of rejection and ostracism. I'm constantly afraid people will find out that I like cross dressing and make up as a male, I have told some of my friends who don't seem to care. It makes them a little uncomfortable but they just accept it. Yet I have trouble believing that they won't just leave eventually.

Other than that I can tell I have a lot more too me and I try to hide it even From myself. I recently learned I like MMA witch was odd. I don't know I just feel like my identity is all fuzzy and none distinct which I find distressing. I don't seem to fit into just any box, and I basically want to be a stereotype and not something that is not simple and easily explained.

I'm not sure what to do or how to accept my odd nature.

Basically as the title says. I want to hear your stories and how you coped. I will tell mine, but it is a long one. So if you want to skip ahead, just stop here. For those who want to listen, this is my story with my mother.

Firstly, my mother had me when she was 17. Fell pregnant with me when she was 16. Apparently she didn't have any sex education. She didn't know how babies were made and had no idea she was pregnant with me until it was too late for an abortion. For my first year of my life, we lived with her parents (my nan and grandad), and as crazy as this sounds; I remember living with them. I remember being a baby in that house; being bathed in the sink, learning to walk in the garden, the fireplace, my walker- all of it. But, what I don't remember is my mother. I remember my nan looking after me, and I remember feeling very bonded with my nan. After I turned 1, my nan and grandad chose to move far away. My mum didn't want to move away, so me and her moved into a flat. My memories of living here were not good. I remember being forever shouted at, and being left in my cot for long periods of time, I felt scared, bored and disconnect. It's at this time when I developed maladaptive daydreaming to keep myself entertained. A condition that was a friend to me at the time, but would become a problem later in life. But I digress.

I'd spend the holidays at my nan and grandads. I absolutely loved it there. I felt love, had attention, and despite being away from my mother for weeks, I never wanted to leave them. But, I'd have to go back. As I got older, I started to lie, because if made any sort of accident (spilling drinks, etc...) I would be spanked and screamed at. I'd always play outside, because it was better than being in, and I started going out when I was between 2-4 years old. I also hated learning, if my mother tried to teach me anything and I couldn't grasp it, I'd get screamed at.

When I started school, I was behind all the other kids. I found learning stressful, because I associated failing with dire consequences. This is where my maladaptive daydreaming caused me problems. Because I was stressed, I daydreamed out of my control. Which meant I couldn't listen to what the teacher was telling me, so they would shout at me daily in front of the class. This caused my classmates to start bullying me. So, now I was being attacked from all corners.

Fast forward to when I'm a teenager. My mother was starting to go out, and bring back men. They would have noisy sex, not caring if I heard them. Even if I had friends round. My friends would make jokes about it, and tell my other friends at school. I felt so humiliated. My mother also started pinching my clothes to wear. It was obvious that she was trying to live the years she missed. She also told me her 40s were the best years of her life, and realised it was becsuse she didn't have to care about me anymore.

My breaking point was when I came home from school and she barged into my bedroom demanding for tampons because we were out(I always carried some in my school bag, and I was also on my period at the time). I pulled out a couple for her, and she grabbed my bag, took all of them and stormed off. I probably had about 6 in there. I just figured she put them in the drawer in the bathroom where they are usually kept. When it was time for me to change, I went to the bathroom but they weren't there. I went to mum and asked if I could have one. She said no. I'd just like to add at this point, that I was still in school and had no income. So I couldn't buy myself any. I asked why I couldn't have one, and she just started shouting at me. I started shouting back and she slapped me across the face and pushed me into my room. I grabbed some stuff and stormed out. I went to my nan and grandads (who at this point had moved close by when I was 8) and told them what happened. My grandad went out and bought me what I needed. And I stayed there for a few days before moving back to my mum. She would tell her friends the story like it was a joke. Except she would say that I slapped her first (I never touched her). I never said anything to correct her. Perhaps I should have, but I knew it wasn't worth it. And besides, my confidence was zero to none.

Fast forward to when I'm 21. I've moved into my university and I'm severely depressed. I'm self harming and destroying my processions in secret. I make the decision to end my life, and I decide to do it by crashing my car. It's late at night and nobody is on the road (I didn't want to harm anyone else). As soon as I lost control of the car, I snap out of it. I panick and manage to correct the car. Nothing happened, but now I knew I didn't want to die and needed help. I packed up my stuff and went home. I told my mother I was depressed and her response was "oh" and she walked off. Nothing.

My depression continues to spiral and I realise I'm never going to get help from my mother. I went back to university and worked on myself. I qualified. Got a job. Made friends and found the love of my life. My mum would call me once a month and our relationship started to build.

I got pregnant at 30, and made the stupid ass decision to move back to my mother's home town. I figured our relationship was good now and that I wanted her to be close to her grandchild. Now, she has been amazing with my kids. Don't get me wrong. They love her. But, she barely talks to me. Minimises everything I say. Often ignores me whilst I'm trying to talk to her, so I often don't bother. My husband is annoyed, as he has picked up on this as well. And has told me he has been tempted to message her. And that's where I'm at now. I'm 36 and I'm considering moving away again. I don't think our relationship will ever be as I envision a mother and daughter. It has especially been more obvious to me since becoming a mother myself. I'd never dream of treating my kids this way. My nan and grandad have always been my safe space, but they passed away last year.

So that's my long ass story. I'd like to hear yours and if you ever developed a relationship. Oh, in case you're wondering why I haven't confronted her about any of this. Whenever I touch on the subject, she gets angry and denies any of it happened. So, I know it's pointless.

I can go for days without getting any form of significant messages or correspondence from people. So I come to Reddit to post stuff and patiently await for people to reply and vote. Opening up Reddit and seeing multiple notifications brightens up my day and gives me some form of comfort

Hello! I am sorry if this is long and messy, I have been obsessing over this for a while. Thank you for reading!!

When I (f22) was 18 I was with my then boyfriend (at the time 28) at a party with some friends. We got really drunk and had sex in one of the rooms, all was good and consensual and later we wanted to go to sleep. When we went to sleep in one of the rooms I started kissing him and he told me he was tired and we would go to sleep now and I think I kissed him again, maybe going on top of him, trying to seduce him. He told me we would go to sleep now and I think I stopped trying at that point, I hope so. The next day I apologized profusely to him and told him I should have stopped when he told me he was tired and that it really wasn’t okay. He told me I don’t have to apologize and it wasn’t a situation like that. I told him that he had already told me no and I should have stopped, he thanked me for the apology but told me I really shouldn’t worry about it. He told me that I am really aware of his boundaries and he really appreciates it in our relationsship. After that I let it go and we continued our relationsship.

This topic has come up again for me like a year ago when I started to talk more about my experience of rape as a teenager and I suddenly remembered this situation with my ex boyfriend and started to completely spiral again. After talking it through with my therapist I decided to ask him how he feels about it and to apologize again. We aren’t friends now but we ended on good terms and I asked him if I could talk with him about ya situation that happened between us that I have been really worried about. When I started to talk about the situation he immediately told me, “oh but (my name) that was nothing, don’t worry about it. He said you were horny and I was tired, you were drunk and annoying but you didn’t do anything bad. You weren’t aggressive or anything in that direction. Thank you for the apology but you have nothing to feel guilty for. “ we talked a bit more and that was it.

Obviously I’m not going to contact him again about this. I didn’t hurt him in any way he has made that clear and I believe him and have to let this go.

But everytime I start speaking about my own rape in therapy I start feeling immensely guilty about this situation because I just can’t see the difference. I was raped or coerced (I don’t really know what to call it) when I was 15 by a 26 year old guy that I met when I was 14. We had kissed and made out a few times.and one time I went to his place at night. He undressed me and tried to put his duck inside of me and I told him sno and he stopped and told me I am being unfair. We went to sleep. The next day he tried to talk me into having sex with him for hours and I always refused. Being 15 and a virgin I didn’t recognize that he was being manipulative, telling me that I was being prude and that there’s nothing wrong with having sex and that he just want a to make love to me . I always told him notand that I don’t feel ready. At some pint we were kissing and he put my hand on his dick and moved my hand to show me I should masturbate him and I did and he suddenly took me on top of him and put his duck inside of me and started spanking me. I froze in shock and didn’t know what was happening. After some time I came a bit ofusca of my shock and told him I have to pee and went to the bathroom. I was panicking and when I came back to the room I didn’t speak for a while. It took me about 2 years to actually realize what happened with him and that it wasn’t okay. He didn’t hold me down, the was no force or thread involved. I still conside this rape and deal with ptsd and fear of sex to this day because of it . I froze a and had made it clear before that I didn’t want to have sex.

And now I just keep thinking about that my boyfriend could have frozen and I could have raped him. He wasn’t harmed but I tried again after he said and just because he wasn’t scared doesn’t mean I didn’t act like my rapist. If I would have been in the position of my boyfriend I think I would have been scared. I don’t know. Or maybe there was enough trust between us and maybe I wouldn’t have been scared. I really don’t know what to think. I know the important thing is that he wasn’t harmed and I am so grateful for that. At some point I had convinced myself that he was completely traumatized by me.

I just feel like I acted like a rapist and was lucky that nobody was hurt and it feels wrong that he is telling me I did nothing wrong .

Thanks for reading all of this.

Being unfunny is a curse that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I try my damnedest to be funny and it FAILS EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN TIME. It's made me miserable knowing that I can't make people laugh. How can I alleviate this?

i really dislike being black, i have always hated it and today is one of those days when i feel really low and miserable because of it. what can be done right now? summer sun is causing my skin to get even darker and i think summer is making me more miserable because of it. i want to be white in an ideal world but that's not possible today and i feel like if i use a permanent approach like monobenzone, i might regret it years later, but on the other hand i have been so miserable in my skin and body for pretty much my entire life that it seems unlikely that my opinions would change. what are my options?

The past few weeks have been rough. I'm finding it hard to show gratitude and just be thankful the glass has water in it, and now I'm going through a dilemma. 10 months ago I got in contact with a known jewelry maker to make a custom piece. The price was $650 and I paid $700 because they were so accommodating and helpful. They wanted all the money upfront. I wasn't able to get my measurements in until October but things were still ok and communication was fine. Earlier this year I reached out because I wanted to wear the jewelry on my birthday a few weeks ago and she told me she was on vacation and would work on it when she returned so that I'd have it well, that didn't happen. Now I'm doing more research and the type of commission I asked for only takes about 2 weeks time a month at most. But still I am patient. I noticed she posted a new client getting a fitting done on the 1st and two weeks later on the 14th I saw he had gotten not one but two products. I inquired about a refund and how he was able to skip over everyone who has been waiting for months and she said he paid a $400 rush fee and tells me I can pay if I want my piece sooner but that's the way she runs her business so deal with it and she told me she just ordered the materials. (10 months later) I haven't heard of such fee all this time but I also don't want the jewelry any more. I expressed this and asked for a refund now its radio silence. I'm praying she will just refund me because she lived out of state and I also already closed the bank account used to pay her months ago so I cannot dispute the charge with them. So it's either court or face a $700 loss or have this jewelry that might look amazing but will be a constant reminder of this crappy business owner. And we live in different states so court would mean traveling etc as well as the general fees and drama of the legal system. I'm kind of losing it and would love to know some bright sides to this situation or other options I can pursue, I just feel like its one thing after another.

Never done this before, but I'm hoping to get an opinion/help. Whether lawyers are reading, or anyone who may know what to do. A couple weeks back I told my job 24 hours ahead I could not drive in the weather conditions the next day; knowing how my car was, mind me feeling unsafe about it. They told me talk to them in the morning, and dismissed it. For a group message to come out saying employees are REQUIRED to be wherever they are placed. In the Morning I wake up xtra early just to let them know I still can't come in. They tell me to do so anyways. I then tell them I tried to drive but my car was already slipping, so I came back home (I was only two streets over). They told me to wait then try again. Pretty much not giving me the choice to not come in. As an employee the fear of being fired will always be there. So I wait, and start heading to my location (which is 2 HOURS AWAY in this HORRIBLE weather...schools were even closed). Sure enough I get into an accident due to my car slipping, and almost went off a cliff on the highway. Let me remind you I also need a car for this job it is a requirement. I know there's workers comp but I was only out a few days. Cause as adults you still need to pay the bills. Pay for just a few days is not worth my life. Everyone is telling me to sue. But I'm not sure what to do. Or if something can still even be done since obviously I have come back to work. Any information will help <3

I am almost 40.

I’m not pretty any more, I know that. I don’t have lip fillers and fake eyelashes and fake tan like the cool kids, and I never will because they genuinely look awful to me.

I’m too old to take fashion tips from TikTok kids. I’m old enough to be their mum. I’m Stacey’s mom

except……… I don’t have it going on.

Once upon a time people told me I was pretty, but I think they were confused; I was young and easy because I had zero self-esteem…. and that is not the same as pretty.

Once upon a time a stranger handed me a business card in London; a modelling company. I never rang them because that isn’t a real world for me; my buck teeth and fat midriff don’t live in that reality, I don’t live there.

Now, I have grey hairs and anger lines in my forehead and if my body looks ok it’s only because I spend three hours exercising every day. I look old and baggy and sad, and I FEEL old and baggy and sad. I feel invisible, like an apology.

I should apologise for my own existence because I’m a waste of oxygen that somebody more useful could be using. I do not have any further ambitions for this life, I don’t like being responsible for anything and although we are trying, I don’t realistically think we wilI be able to conceive without medical intervention at our ages… and even if we could, it would be cruel to burden our baby with aged parents who will probably be dead before the child is 21.

I wish our lives just naturally ended when we were no longer useful, because then I would be gone and this would be over. I think it would br fairer.

Everything is so tiring when there’s nothing left to look forward to, when every day between here and eternity will be the same.

I’m just so tired, tired of being alive.

I (26m) can talk platonic, but never anything more. I could give hundreds of reasons for why I'm not dating, however the main one is that I don't feel good enough to ask someone on a date or show interest, due to low self esteem.

My first and only date thus far was at 24, she was the one who made all the moves, I didn't really do anything except show up and not fuck up.

The typical advice to use dating apps, I've been using Tinder, Bumble and Hinge for 3-4 years and have received hardly any matches, I therefore can't rely on dating apps. My looks are decent in person, but dating apps are a completely different ball game.

I also have approach anxiety (scared of taking to women), I can't help but feel embarrassed and ashamed of being a 26 year old man who's nervous taking to women. Some of my single friends have casual sex quite often and brag about it (typical guy talk), I laugh it off and pretend it doesn't bother me, but it often does. This doesn't apply for my friends in happy/stable relationships as I'm happy for them.

I'm not in a position to currently date, although if I wait too long, I can't help but think it'll be a turn off.

I’ll start by saying that i have almost 0 experience with men, never had a boyfriend, never went on dates. Never even had a first kiss lol i just had lots of flirty encounters on nights out and etc but always rejected them and i just never let kissing or hookups happen.

People never believe me when i tell them so, cause i am perceived as attractive and look like a ‘maneater’.

If ur asking yourself why i never experienced any of the stuff above, its just a mix of life situations and eras and also a personal choice cause i never genuinely liked someone, besides one guy in 2022 but he was only interested in hooking up so nada.

Ok now to the real issue here;

In 2022 i started going out to clubs and i noticed this guy A, who was always there with his friends. He caught my eye because of his looks. We had some interactions and he also added me on insta but things got weird, idk. Anyway he stopped texting me and we lost touch and he also stopped saying hello when he saw me.

Fast forward to exactly one month ago, i end up at a bar with A, a mutual acquaintance and my bestie. We both acted as if it was our first time talking. We mainly talked to each other and things were lowkey but highkey flirty… I knew he thought i was hot. After the bar closed he proposed the 4 of us go to a hotel for an ‘after’ but they were all fully booked.

The weekend after we see them again at a club but A leaves early so our interactions are almost limited to nothing.

The weekend after that we end up hanging out again, and we also go to an after together. I won’t talk about the details, but again, the flirting got more obvious. Especially in moments where we were completely alone. By flirting i mean things like spraying our perfumes on each other, him telling me i look good, saying he likes my hands and hands are things he finds important in a girl etc.

When we laid on the couch, with me next to him and my bestie next to me, he also touched my leg. I kinda let him, kinda removed his hand. I also felt like at one moment he was ready to kiss me but i didn’t let it happen.

And then finally this last weekend… We randomly meet again. We were 5. We somehow manage to stand at the same table with everyone but kinda exclude ourselves from the others. We talk in each others ears and what i felt last month, when touching him, is now 10 x times stronger.

Its like some kind of magnetic pull. Its so satisfying. In those moments i felt such a need to be close to him and touch him it just felt so right.

Mind you, we were just talking and updating each other about our week and etc. At some point he tells me to go outside with him so that he can smoke a cig. (Again, i noticed he creates situations to be alone with me) and we just held hands to go outside which is so unnecessary but it just… happens?

Anyway, after a while we end up alone again in another room at this bar, cause he was smoking again and asked me for my perfume. Which was an excuse i guess.

I end up hugging him out of nowhere. He tells me i am super emotional and i have a wall around me that needs to be teared down.

And then he said “if we would kiss it would be absolutely insane”. And i asked him what he meant. We sat down on a couch and he put his hand on my leg, said “do u feel this? Look how ur breathing changes when i touch u, you feel it right? You feel the energy, u feel whats going on?”

I don’t quite remember what i said, cause i was drunk, but i told him i think i do feel it. He then told me i should ask him if he is attracted to me. I laughed and asked. He said yes thats why this is happening, this feeling etc. And then he repeated that if we’d kiss it would be out of this world.

He finally asked for my number, which took him a month btw. After that we got interrupted.

And shortly after we all went home. (He texted me the whole day on Saturday but then nothing lol)

He does know i never had a boyfriend nor anything else and when i told him that again, while he was telling me he is attracted to me, i asked him “but u do believe me when i tell u i have 0 experience etc” and he said “i do but we’ll see with time if i can trust what u say” OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. He also told me he’ll never touch me if i dont want to.

The thing is… do i like him? Its weird that i don’t feel nervous with him? My heart is not racing like crazy? Cause these were symptoms i had with my first real crush two years ago.

I feel weirdly comfortable with him and the touching, wanting to be close, flirtiness seems to come so natural. I think i never felt something like this? It got more intense each time i saw him.

But i don’t understand why i am not acting crazy head over heels like i was with my other crush (in my mind and body i mean). I am way calmer and i feel good. Also the magnetic pull kind of thing i felt this last time i spoke with him was something i still cant explain to myself.

Also, most men that have approached me have been way more ‘direct’ with me and straight up flirted HEAVY and initiated physical touch immediately. But not A. Its been gradual and its been ‘clean’ asf if u ask me. I really think he is attracted to me but of course i can’t be sure of how much and if it’s anything worth my thoughts in that sense.

I already told myself i would let him kiss me if he tries to. And just to clarify, i am not looking for a relationship. Its not my priority so if he doesn’t want a relationship thats maybe even better for me lol cause i dont see myself there.

Any insight on this situation is much appreciated.

Trying to get some ideas for some outsets. Google is repetitive. I'd like to hear some personal answers