Post: "About a year ago, I went through something that completely changed how people saw me—and honestly, it’s still affecting me today. My friend Amy lost her watch, a gift her dad had given her, something that held a lot of sentimental value. Naturally, she was devastated, and I could understand why it meant so much to her. But out of nowhere, I became the one everyone suspected. People started pointing fingers at me, whispering behind my back, and spreading rumors that I was the one who’d stolen it.

I’m a pretty introverted person by nature, so I tend to stay quiet, especially when I’m shocked or unsure of what to do. When the accusations started, I felt trapped and didn’t know how to respond. I remember just freezing up, unable to find the right words or the confidence to defend myself. It was as if everyone took my silence as confirmation of guilt. People kept telling me things like, ‘You’re too quiet—if you were innocent, you’d be more upset.’ But the truth was, I was upset—devastated, actually—I just didn’t know how to show it in a way that they’d believe.

From that point on, my life changed drastically. Almost overnight, I lost friends who I thought were close to me. People who had been my friends for years suddenly stopped talking to me, avoiding me in hallways and giving me cold, judgmental looks. It was like they’d already decided I was guilty, and nothing I said could change their minds. What made it even worse was that, despite all this, I still didn’t know how to defend myself. The more I tried to explain, the more they’d say I was just trying to cover up the ‘truth.’

The bullying became relentless. I’d walk into a room, and conversations would stop, or people would just openly whisper about me as if I couldn’t hear them. It’s strange how quickly people are willing to believe the worst about you, especially when you’re not the loudest or most outgoing person. I felt incredibly alone, and even though I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, it was exhausting to keep facing those looks of distrust every day.

Out of everyone I used to hang out with, only two friends stuck by me. They were the only ones who believed me, and without them, I’m not sure I would’ve made it through that year. They’d reassure me, try to cheer me up, and remind me that I knew the truth, even if no one else wanted to believe it. Still, there were moments I felt guilty even leaning on them. I knew they’d been taking a lot of heat from others just for staying friends with me, and I didn’t want them to lose out on other friendships because of me. It’s hard to explain how isolated I felt even with their support, knowing that nearly everyone else I cared about had turned their backs on me.

The toll this took on me went deeper than just social isolation. The constant whispers, the accusations, and the bullying shattered my self-esteem. I started doubting myself,

I think I’m crushing really hard

I was almost done w/ my probation period too. Same mfka swore up & down "liked me working there" was same mfka slid termination papers to me. I thought bout calling a corporate line to file racial complaint bout lead who lied to my face like had liked me but then it hit me how I can't even afford a lawyer.

Back story I 33 female was in a fatal car accident when I was 18 that left me permanently disabled (im in a wheelchair) as the years past I have always been there for my sister and my mom and always have gone above and beyond to help them or just do anything they asked of me with no arguments or questions for my sister who was watching her kids whenever she needed me too helping her with whatever it was she needed help with same for my mom me and my husband have five kids we are struggling to stay afloat especially since he’s the only one working my ssi got cut off due to a missed appointment that I did not have a ride to because nor my mom or sister wanted to take me and my husband was out of town on work so I have had to re file and it’s been a whole mess at this point well my mom and sister are well off but with a gambling habit here is where family has told me I’m the asshole I asked both my mom and sister if they could please help us with our electric bill that was 175 and I know it’s not their responsibility, but I just needed a little bit of help and returned. I got shamed. And was told a bunch of awful things when I brought up that the only reason I am asking for financial help is because neither one of them wanted to take me to my appointment and said it wasn’t their problem and then went on to go to the casino together and blew more then I had asked to borrow well yesterday they asked me if I would watch my sister’s kids so they could go back to the casino and I told them no I would no longer be a doormat that they could just use and walk all over and I am ashamed for them to be my family Because they treat me like I am a burden unless it’s convenient for them well my sister 28f left her kids anyways and simply said I’ll be back later just watch them it’s not like you have something better to do after telling me that it sent me to an absolute mental rage that I called the cops and let them know that my sister had abandoned her kids at my house in no position and that I was in no position to babysit them when the cops got here I gave them a statement they didn’t contacted my sister who threw a big fit and had my mom backing her up and now my whole family saying that I am the AHOLE because I overreacted and that I should’ve just watched her kids for a few hours that it wasn’t that big of a deal am I the asshole or did I do the right thing???

I attempted suicide 5 weeks ago. It obviously didn’t work, and I’ve been hard work all day in therapy programs since because everyone else really wants me to get better. I work so hard because of the pain I know I caused when I hurt myself to those who love me. And I’m making progress, but I honestly don’t care to. I can’t get over the fact that I’m here. It wasn’t in the plans, and it’s a really hard pill to swallow. I’m not opposed to getting better, but it wasn’t the plan. I wasn’t supposed to wake up anymore and I’m upset that I still have to against my will. Working so hard for a goal that isn’t mine is exhausting beyond words

I have also been having the urge to do the same for panties

My trauma has turned me into a defeated individual who is scared to have opinions of her own. I would rather blend in than feel alone.

I have huge boobs. So if i sleep on my side the wrong way sometimes i wake up and my chest hurts. I slept so badly the ofher day that i think i pulled a muscle in my chest. When i woke up it hurt so bad that i couldn't even move my arm/shoulder to get out of that position.

My chest right over my sternum had been sore and only getting worse for a few days. Every movement of my arms hurt and especially any movement of my boobs hurt. If my boobs moved or shifted even in my bra, they pulled on my chest and caused some pain. Even though bras support me gravity still works and boobs kind of act like a liquid in a bag, so they moved enough to cause pain. I found that if i held my boobs while bending over/walking my chest didn't hurt.

Out of desperation i grabbed duct tape and hit my boobs with like 10 layers and i have never been so comfortable. No band digging into my back and no straps cutting into my shoulders and no boobs pulling on my chest uncomfortably. It also looks fine with a shirt on do i have worn this to work. It looks psychotic without a shirt lol. The tape is mildy irritating to the skin but it's still less painful. I either shower the tape off or sweat it off by the end of the day. Obviously this isn't a permanent solution but it is working.

Tengo una relación hace 8 meses el es de Irlanda y yo de Colombia somos de países muy lejanos el uno de otro pero hemos estado viajando para poder estar juntos el estando en mi país y yo en el de el hace poco regresamos al país de el pero me estado sintiendo triste y extrañando mi casa y más cuando peleamos el es demasiado frío y no le importa si ve que algo me afecta y me duele o lloro a él le da realmente igual muchas veces me habla y me trata de una manera la cual no me gusta le e terminado varias veces pero siempre regresamos al momento por qué claro no quería termínale solo que el entienda el punto al cual estoy cansada hace poco había tomado la decisión de irme a mi país pero lo vi tan triste y me dijo no te vallas entonces me quedé pero yo siento que él sigue tratándome igual que el día que me mostró que le dolía que me fue solo eso un momento triste pero él en realidad no quiere cambiar en fin ya con el pasar de los días he estado tomando más fuerzas para irme siempre le aviso que me voy a ir para saber si le importa y quiere arreglar las cosas pero esta vez no me importa en realidad darle un previo aviso simple te quiero comprar mi vuelo y decirle adiós que debería hacer yo realmente lo amo y estoy enamorada de él pero simplemente no puedo seguir con su actitud de que nada le importa

Well nothing much. My trust was betrayed by a guy who led me on for quite a long time(surprise surprise) didn't see his gf coming out of nowhere. He hated people smoking. Now when I smoke in the back of my mind I feel I have given him more reason not to like me. Feels like a rebellion against him. I don't miss him but I can't help feeling hurt.

I do not know why but I can physically not do what I am supposed to like I cannot control my impulses no matter what.

I think of the most fucked up shit imaginable, mind be going from one topic to another rapidly. Like stuff that’s not related to what I’m doing. I would get therapy but the shit I would talk about would get me locked up or traumatize the therapist. I mean I would never do the shit I think about cause of the morals that bound everyone, I think humans sleep because that suppresses the true nature of what humans actually are. If you stay up for days at a time, you slowly begin to lose your mind and then you become an animal. The mind wanders a lot, it’s very cool what the mind can think of/do. Had to get this out there, was thinking about it to much.

Couple of times I’ve let people use my body for basic needs. I was only doing it to survive.. so that’s what I keep in mind it was okay but I feel so ashamed.. it was only so I could get groceries and feed myself.

Makes me feel uncomfortable within myself and I really don’t want to have to keep doing it… just feels so degrading and has lead me to going to the doctors for anti depression medication.

I’m struggling with my mental health so finding it hard to hold down a job.

Feel like I’ve hit a all time low

Edit: I just want to say a massive thank you for all the support and love you have shared with me your truly amazing people and thank you for making me feel loved.

I’m going to the doctors on the 13th it’s been a long time so I can get my mental health back on track and get back into work.

Thank you so so much for making me realise my self worth I am grateful to you all. X

A story 20 years in the making

Edit: a lot of people seem to think the story is fake but it's not. I wish it was so I wouldn't have to feel so f****** guilty. I swear on my son's life and all five of my kids this is a 100% true story and this is how it played out

When I was in 19 I met a female named Ebony. Our love story went as so many young people's stories go. Hard lessons learned and heartbreak. During our time together we had a lot of fights and arguments. She would say things to me like.

"You're not s***" / "You're never going to be nothing"

Basically saying anything she knew that could get under my skin and cause me harm. After about 2 years of this I remove myself from the relationship because I could no longer take it. Even though the relationship was toxic and unhealthy I do not regret it one bit because it taught me some valuable lessons about things that I'm no longer willing to tolerate in any future relationship going forward. Secondly we had a son together which in the end was well worth it.

One of the last arguments we had before we separated I told her the following.

"In this game of life I will not lose, I promise you this. When everything is said and done I'll be on top and you won't. I hate losing and I will not lose. I promise you this"

I will never forget that conversation because it put a fire in me that day moving forward. When I left Ebony I took my son with me. Eventually I found a lovely woman and married her. Shortly after marriage ebony contacted me asking me to take care of her daughter that she had with another man.

Her reasoning was she wanted her daughter to at least be with her brother and she had nowhere else to send her child. Luckily for her my wife is an amazing woman. When I told her the situation she immediately said yes we will take her. During this time we had a total of four children three from my wife and my son. My wife's response was.

"We may not have a lot but we have food on the table and a roof of our heads, that child need us. I'm not going to sit here and let a child that has nowhere to go suffer"

So my wife and I took the child in and raised her as our own. I told Ebony I will take the children and raise them. So I told Ebony the following.

" You do not have to pay me child support, you do not have to send any money. I want you to be with our kids and have a good relationship with them but first you need to be stable. So here's the deal I'm going to give you 5 years to go to school get a college education make something of yourself this way you can be stable and help raise our kids together"

Personally I felt like this was a good deal for her. I'm basically taking two children one of them that is not biologically my kid nor my responsibility and raising them for the next 5 years.

During this time my wife and I went to school full time, work full-time jobs, and I also had a part-time job to put food on the table on the weekends. Over the next 5 years I watched Ebony do absolutely nothing with her life. Every time I would contact her she would be partying, drinking and showing up with new tattoos.

Over those 5 years I would gently remind her what she should be doing with this time. In response I was told to shut up. I was told multiple times that I'm not her father. I was told how weak pathetic I am. I'm a piece of s*** blah blah blah.

After 5 years my wife and I had improved our lifestyle dramatically. I came back to Ebony and asked her what has she done those 5 years even though I already knew the answer. Eventually I ended up putting her on child support because she was doing absolutely nothing to help me support these kids at this point and she did absolutely nothing to better herself.

Of course after those five years of receiving literally no help. (I'll take that back, that's not fair. She did send one hat and one jacket) I placed her own child support, and my Lord she flipped her crap. I was every name in the book. She would yell at me about how I was ruining her life. Even though I explained to her that paying $180 a month for one kid when I'm raising two of your kids is a really good deal. I also explain to her that the kids lunch for one of the children was $80 alone. None of this seemed to matter, apparently I was ruining her life on purpose and it was so unfair as she would tell me.

By this time I was pretty used to her crap. I would keep my head down and work harder with my wife to improve our life.

But I never forgot, not even for one second what I told her all those years ago.

"I will not lose, I hate losing"

During this time my wife and I got better jobs and we started working out getting in shape and focused on our family. At this point 15 years has passed and we were still raising all five of the children with no help from Ebony. During this time she had to come to my state to talk to the judge about why she wasn't paying child support. At this time she has not seen me or the children in years. 5 +or more

When we got out of court I had to literally bag her to come to my house so she could see the children because she was not going to. I'm not going to lie what happened next was one of the best feelings of my life and I will never forget it.

(Keep in mind she is still telling me up to this very point / just a few days ago how much of a piece of s*** I am)

Ebony and her boyfriend pulled up at my house and got out of the car. I could see it all over their faces as they looked around the property. I greeted them and as I was doing so I noticed her jaw / mouth was literally open in amazement. The first thing her boyfriend said was

"Man I'm not going to lie you have a beautiful house and nice cars"

Ebony said the same in disbelief. I remember Ebony asking me how much land did I actually own. So me wanting to rub it in her face a little bit, I took her to the edge of the road and point far into the distance and said.

"you see that driveway way down there, I own everything from that point."

Then I took her to the backyard which is even more beautiful, and told her how much land I own going back that direction. At this point we have not even made it inside the house.

When we got inside of my home I took her on a tour and all I could hear throughout the walk was her boyfriend saying how beautiful my home was. He made the comment that I was doing it big over here, lol.

During this time Ebony has not seen my wife because she was in her office working and about to get off, but I was waiting for that moment. Because my wife had lost a lot of weight started working out and got a tummy tuck and was looks really f****** good, and I knew that would get to her. (And it did get to her because she brought it up the following week about how cute I must think my little bitch ass wife is) her word not mine, put my wife found it hilarious.

As I was taking them around the house I took them downstairs to my man cave and was showing her boyfriend all my cool little toys, My multiple gaming monitors and the PS5 had just came out two weeks prior and I had one and my collection of guns I have. The more praise and props her boyfriend gave me the angrier she got, I could see it on her face.

Her boyfriend's is actually a really nice guy, I've been knowing him for years at that point. He was willing to give us props because he knows where my wife and I started. He knows my wife and I didn't have anything in the beginning. We were just living in a trailer busting our ass to get something, and raising 5 kids all at the same time.

As they were getting ready to leave Ebony said

"I have to give it to you, you have a wonderful life and you worked hard for it. Man I wish I would have done the same"

At this point I gently reminded her of our conversation all those years ago. When I told her I'm not going to lose. Ebony look me in the face and said

"You said you weren't going to lose and you were right"

I explain to Ebony at that time that I didn't hate her. I never hated her, even after everything we've been through all I ever wanted was the best for her and our children. That's why I was willing to take care of them and give her the opportunity to have the exact same things I had. (Honestly at that point I think it finally started to click for her for the first time in all those years)

I had no way of knowing this at the time but that was the very moment when Ebony became severely depressed and started drinking very heavily. (I would not find this information out until years later talking to her boyfriend)

I knew she was drinking, I just didn't know it was that much. Over the next 2 years she would sometimes call me up upset angry / crying / self-loathing. A lot of her anger towards me became passive aggressive.

She would make statements like

"We all don't have the perfect wife or we all can't take multiple vacations a year"

At this point all of my children were grown or at least to the extent that Ebony and I no longer needed to have much if any conversations.

Then one day out of the blue Ebony calls me up. I can immediately tell that something's off, she wasn't sounding like herself. Ebony begin to tell me that she is in the hospital and her liver is shutting down and the doctor's told her that if she has one more drink she'll die. (Keep in mind I did not know she was drinking that much)

As Ebony sat on the phone with me all the hate, all the anger was gone. For the first time in almost 20 years we had an emotional conversation that wasn't built off of anger.

She cried on the phone with me, She told me how sorry she was for everything. We apologize to each other. And she begged me to take care of the children, she made me promise that I would always take care of them. She told me how scared she was. I believe her because I could hear it in her voice.

(I'm not a very emotional person but I'm not going to lie I will never forget that conversation and I think about her a lot)

Ebony died two days later on the floor of a hotel room by herself.

Several months after her passing I called up her boyfriend to check up on him to see how he was doing. As we were talking I mentioned to him the phone conversation I had with Ebony when she was in the hospital. Apparently he was not aware of this conversation.

He begins to tell me that he had no idea that Ebony was dying. He had no idea that her liver was shutting down. He had no idea how scared she really was.

She never told him anything and they were together for over 10 years.

I miss Ebony, I have not told anybody this (not even my wife) except for her daughter the one that I'm raising.

I feel so guilty, and it eats away at me.

In her last moments on this earth when she was scared the most,... She called me and no one else.

RIP

Ebony. L

Edit:

It has been years but I finally told my wife. I was thinking about Ebony after I got off work yesterday and I cried all the way home.

i had this coworker who was hiding their drug addiction. they would go to the bathroom for 30+ minutes and come back with their eyes dilated, acting weird, and would avoid ringing people out for hours. at the end of the night, they’re drawer would be missing a ton of money or they would be over charging people on their debit cards. a lot of people noticed they’re change in behavior after going to the bathroom, but no one knew why. i used to take xanax for anxiety so one day i went to the bathroom after this person did. i saw white powder on the sink and they stupidly left a pill on the floor. i immediately recognized it and put two and two together. my boss a few days before was talking to the ASM about them and if they noticed any changes in their work and behavior. when no one was around, i wrote on a sticky note that i found Xanax in the bathroom and that they went before me. i taped the pill to the sticky note as well (probably not smart, but he found the note 5 minutes after i put it there).

he talked to them about what he was told and they confessed that they were doing drugs in the bathroom. they were fired immediately. i felt bad bc the company had resources for mental health and drug addiction so i thought that’s what would happen, but bc they were doing it at work my boss had to fire them.

a year later, they came into work to purchase some things and told us that they went to rehab after being fired. they were 6 months sober and had a job where they were helping them with their recovery. they said that being fired was the cherry on top for them bc their past two jobs also fired them for doing drugs at work. so it was a big wake up call for them, they looked really good and happy. we were all proud.

still to this day, no one knows it was me that made that note.

edit: the powder was white so it could of been coke, but i recognized the bar. this person told the team when they first started that they used to be addicted to heroine and xanax. i had confronted them about their behavior before and they said they were tired and had things going on at home. a few other coworkers did the same thing and got the same answer….should of gone to manager face to face instead of the sneaky note. i didn’t know what to do at the time bc i have never run into this before. i’ve learned from it for sure

This happened when i was in university, some years ago. My university was a bit rural. Students often chartered busses for big parties. This particular night was graduation night with a big late night party and busses to transport the guests. We only went to the late night party around 10pm. The game was always to get as drunk as possible before because we were all broke as fuck. The challenge was to get just drunk enough because the bus driver did not allow people in the bus who were too drunk. My plan was to drink a bottle of red wine relatively close to departure to get the effect just on time. I bought a bottle of cheap red wine and chucked it on the way to the bus. So far so good. Everything worked out smoothly. I got in the bus and was in a great mood. Once in my belly started to get all funky. Apparently it didn’t agree with the cheap wine in large quantity. I was in a dilemma. The bus didn’t leave yet but if I left to vomit they would leave let me back in. I decided to tough it out. It didn’t work. The wine wanted out. The problem was i had nothing to catch my vomit. Except the hood of the jacket of the guy in front of me. He had a blue soft shell jacket which he had placed on top of his seat. The hood fell over the seat and was right in front of my face. I did what i had to do and used it to catch my puke. It was quite liquid and had a deep red color from the wine. It was pretty disgusting. I was incredibly embarrassed and didn’t know what to do. I decided to keep it cool. My seat neighbour was my room mate. He covered for me. The bus ride was rather long and the hood wasn’t completely water proof so most of the liquid leaked during the journey. I washed my self with plumbing liquor which i carried in a hip flask to drink later and started to chat loudly and entertain the people around me so everyone saw how „fine“ i was. Once we arrived my friend and i fucked off asap. We observed the guys putting on the jacket and, since it was raining, putting the hood over his head. We nearly died laughing. His hair and suit got all messed up but he didn’t notice at first. It was terrible. He never figured out what happened. I felt bad but also hated to guy. Therefore i also had a deep feeling of satisfaction. He was a weird (relatively) old guy. He was in his mid 40ies and still hung out at the student parties to fuck young girls. He hit on my girlfriend back then quite hard and I really felt disrespected by his behavior. That mofo had it coming. Probably my best revenge ever and totally unplanned. My friends and I still laugh about this story many years later.

Fernando: if you read this, fuck you. It was me!

I am a 33f, ADHD diagnosed woman. Got the diagnosis in 1996 after almost failing school. The whole treatment I was subjected to was to help me control symtoms and live better in society, not inconvenience myself and others. I have some real autistic friends with the same outlook.

Now in the past goddamn 7 years I have to listen to absolute nonsense in the internet all the time. A bunch of "self diagnosed" people that just use their made up mental diseases as excuses. That makes the community look SO bad. I cant tell any employers I have ADHD because they will presume I will refuse to show up to work and say I have a mental illness, and be a completely entitled and unmanageable mess. I've seen people using ADHD to justify screaming with their partners, cheating, not delivering promises, being lazy, not putting any effort. Ah no, please.

My roommate is a 26yo, wrote me a massage calling my hygene "concerning" and Me disrespectful because I left a dish in the sink overnight, and when I confronted her and said she can't talk to me this way she started crying like a big baby and said "she doesn't know how to express herself because rod her autism". Is it a carte blanche for you to be a absolute dickhead with no consequence now? I have actual autistic friends, they have issues looking me in the eye and knowing when to talk, but all of them, every single one, can take accountability when you inform them. I just can't take this shit anymore. another roommate would make my life miserable with every fucking little sound because he had "mysophonia". Like the light switch sound in my room would get him bitchingin his. Never went to a fucking doctor, and now if I complain I won't live in complete silence from 8 I am the non accommodating monster. There is no goddamn accountability and discomfort anymore, every possible inconvenient feeling now had a CID. Meanwhile I'm the only one actually mentally ill with years of therapy/medication. And I definitely wouldn't be caught dead doing shit like that. I have dignity. Doesn't matter if my ADHD makes it hard to remember shit, it's my responsibility to write it down and make it, I took a commitment! Where's the accountability?

EDIT: Gonna put an edit here I didn't think I would need. If you're thinking "well I am self diagnosed and I don't do those things!" Then the post ISNT about you. This post is specifically about people that behave in that specific manner and cover it up with a CID. "Not all the mentally ill!" Also I'd recommend always trying to get a diagnose, because symtoms of under understood mental issues like autism and ADHD manifest in everyone in different shapes and forms. I've heard from 3 different friends that they are afraid they have ADHD because of executive disfunction issues, and they were just burned out. Can be bad anxiety. Can be trauma. Different solutions!

When I was younger I had a lot of friends, I was the person that everyone wanted to be. But I struggled mentally. Over the years I became more. And more isolated from society and went from being a social person to a person who resent everyone. I think I need to add that a was bullied a lot in my last year of high school so that may have something to do with my resentment. I have a lot of disturbing thoughts, especially when someone is mean towards me. But I have learned to keep it to myself. The problem is that I have a lot of “friends” but they only talk to me when they have problems. I am the friend that they tell their deepest secrets too but never gets invited to anything. The feeling of being ignored is so strong and every time it happens I get the worst thoughts and urges, and I don’t know how to deal with it because no one understands.

She’s been my therapist since august so I feel like we didn’t have the provider client bond anyway. When we’d meet she’d ask me the same questions and would leave me little to no room to speak about what I wanted to speak of. When I asked if I could talk about my grandfather who passed away she told me that I should speak with my mom since she already knows about him. That’s really when I told myself that I’d just stop attending therapy because like wtf if I wanted to talk to my mom about it I wouldn’t be asking during our session. Also our “hour long” sessions would last only 20 minutes because she’d never let me speak she’d ask about work and home that’s it. She scheduled our next appointment for 3 weeks later and during those three weeks we had a work event my boss wanted to bring his new girlfriend. Believe it or not my therapist was the girlfriend. I just felt so weird and the day of our appointment I called her and told her that I don’t feel comfortable seeing her anymore. She told me that I was being unprofessional for waiting until the day of our appointment to let her know because she “would’ve tried to make it work”

Wondering why I think like this. I think it’s the weed but I don’t know if it’s my mind in general. Too stoned to type, just had to get this out there.

I am from Hyderabad India,
I met this Wild, Horney, Mad F (25) two days back, she reached me a couple of days back by seeing my post in my Old Account. Almost a day she talked about only how safe she going to with me. From next day she started open up her kinky side.
Shockingly she was having most fascinating fantasies in the her mind. She shared all her kinky fantasies and thoughts. And asked to meet her in her house after 10PM. I entered in her home, shockingly she look very beautiful then I imagined. I thought she lied about her age. She is very fair, so cute, look like 22y, her skin OMG she is so smooth, smells so good, and "Taste" I never tasted something like that.
And as she told me, she was very wild, the way she pulling me, the way she holding my dick, the way she riding, the way she giving me head, the way she gave me pleasure.. Its unbelievable and memorable.
She haven't gave me any compliments, but I gave her compliment "Girl your are from heaven, I always want to submit myself to you"

When I was about 14/15 years old, I used to run around the neighborhood with my friend at the time. I’d hang out with her all the time because she lives downtown the street from me. One day I stayed at her house for an entire weekend. Her home life as I look back at it was chaos. Her mom I think did drugs and drank but she worked all the time too so she happened to be home this particular day. She kept telling me how she always wished I was her daughter and such. I thought it was always odd. That night as we were going to go to bed, my friend was like hey let’s go take a bath. I said I don’t have a swimsuit. Her mom overheard and said just use one of hers and you’re fine. I said ok. Come to find out she didn’t have an extra one so we just went in naked. We were playing with Barbie’s and all the sudden I felt her toe go into me. I froze. I couldn’t move or anything but I looked at her and she had a sideways grin on her face. I didn’t say much about it because I knew if I said something as a foster kid ( I had already gone through 13 homes in a year) I’d be booted out as I had already been raped twice now. I couldn’t muster up the courage to tell this girl it was wrong and I felt violated and she kept sliding her hand on my body. I pulled away and I must have blocked the rest out because I don’t remember much after this except I didn’t talk to her anymore.

My question is. Is this normal or what happened to me? Is this molestation or just curious teens?

growing up I was a troubling kid always getting into fights and causing problems in school and the neighborhood just for fun as it made me feel good with no regret or remorse for the pain and problems I caused, as I got older I became distant and quiet id disappear for months at a time and blackout for days and it angered an hurt me more because my family never noticed or worried. when I turned 18 I decided to get help on my own after a life threatening incident and later on it was discovered I was suffering from multiple mental illnesses such as (ASPD) and (DID) and I was on a few different medications and lots of therapy and its helped me and many ways and life as been pretty good since moving on my own and keeping my distance I struggle in some aspects but I'm working on it. but later on I was in a accident and I feel deep in depression and decided to stop going to therapy and stop taking my medication since I thought I had everything under control since I haven't had any "episodes" first few weeks was a little rough struggling with sleep not eating not speaking for days. I feel into abusing drinking n smoking to cope but in reality it was feeding everything in me that wasn't good and recently I've been getting easily triggered by almost any and everything the sound of people the thought of someone coming to me for unnecessary reasons and I get the urge to let go and give into the temptation into being that kid again causing havoc and problems since it was easier for people to hate and be afraid of me instead of them caring and having to worry about me since my own family never did. But I can say I'm actively fighting it daily but its progressively getting harder every day I want to break something just for the slightest feeling of relief and I've tried going back to therapy to but payments are expensive and if I get put back on meds id be better off giving In to the thoughts and whatever happens happens but I'm trying to be a better person for myself and not have to isolate and keep myself closed off just because I'm afraid or harming people I come in contact with.

I never thought myself an alcoholic, just a guy who likes having fun. But that definition of fun starting shifting towards drinking alone at my computer (like 8 beers minimum) some nights and 2-4 any night I'm not planning to get that drunk. Recently did I discover that this is what functioning alcoholism means.

Looking back, I haven't spent 90 consecutive days sober since I started freshman year of college 8 years ago. I've been in my state's national guard for those 8 years, and even with all the schools I've gone to and the deployments I've done there was always a way to get alcohol. Even in ranger school if you can believe it. And I had my fill at every opportunity.

I get up early, I exercise, I'm in the best shape of my life. I keep up with work, I'm financially stable and responsible. But I want a beer like it's the last sip of water I'm ever gonna get.

I have a good relationship with my boss, in many ways he's a good friend. I told him about how hard I went at a party I hosted two weeks ago and he, who is over a year sober, said "Damn, I think you need to take a week and dry out, man."

That one stuck to me in a way I didn't think it would. I don't know if I wanna wean down to one night a week, or a month, or cold turkey. But something's gotta give.

I'm 7 days sober

I think about this a lot.

Sometimes I wish it was my father who left. Maybe then I could have some reference material on how to grieve. At least my grandmother could convince him not to leave as well.

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I was in 1st standard when i was sexually assaulted/raped for the first time... it was the son of our land lords and my family was going trough the crises i remember trying to shout in pain but my mouth was stuffed with cloth and coverd with hands. I remember once i was being raped on terrace and my mother came looking for me but he hid me by lying on me on a 'khat' and i was small and skinny so no one could see me and one time his older sister caught him doing it, she askes what are you doing and i replied we are playing a game.(.idiot.) she didnt tell any one i used to think of her as a big sister but now all i feel is disgust she started scolding her brother i got scared bcs i knew it is abad thing and i ran towards my floor she came running behind me she grabbed me in front of my mother and said we are playing 'catch/pakdam pakdayi', we lived in that house for 2 years and i was raped whenever he got a chance i have a memory i dont know if it is real or a dream his dick was inside my mouth and i couldnt breath and i was choking so bite as hard as i could but then the kicked me in my belly i went flying.... i ran to my home but no one was there. I closed all the gates and i cried in the corner while tv was on a blasting volume....after few mins my mother came back and i acyed as everything was normal. All of this left me feeling as i was the guilty one and this is just nothing but a game and i cant play it belive me i didnt even knew what it was, what was happenung to me what was i feeling, we changed home and it stopped from that person we used to go to our village for vacations i made few friends there and there was this big boy he became a good friend and i shared with him what happeng with me what game i got played and then he started to play with me ......... and this continued for few years whenever we visited our village too...until he moved out to some other city it was over for me but it left me with trauma nightmares and alot of problems like stress eating,anxiety and whatever you call living a life inside your head..so mostly in class and in life i was zoned out living inside my head bubble and thanks to stress eating i grew fat so i was not being raped anymore i was getting bullied but it happend again i was in 9th standard a neghbour called me to his house to see a dvd and i went there and he rapped me this time i knew what it was that i was being rapped i knew what rape was but i could never fight back i could never tell my parents about that, i am telling it here cause you dont know me and belive me after so much years its still hard to even remember it it makes me feel like unloveable, unworthy, coward and what not

Title. I don’t work. I don’t do anything. I’m disabled (but not physically or cognitively). I’m uneducated, I didn’t get my high school diploma after dropping out before I almost aged out of HS. I have my HSE (GED) and I barely got that. I barely passed the test.

Dropped out of college after a week of non-stop panic attacks and crying the entire week because the college didn’t feel comfortable with me being in such distress.

I’m a waste of space, I’m a terrible friend, a terrible person, I don’t do anything for anyone.

Disability income was supposed to be temporary they all said and it’s been almost 10 years. I’m terrible.

I need to get this baggage out. I was DUMB. I traded carelessly. I lost 90% of my networth. Yes I made huge mistake. It’s one of those life changing moments where you screwed your life over. Ignorant idiot.

It happened few years ago and just now I looked at my account and it sting.

I need to get in my feet and rise! Enough with the gloom, it’s a fact that I made mistakes on the past huge mistake and I learned that, I learned how it feels to bankrupt and wacthing your hard earned vapor just like that. It’s painful shameful but I am still sane and that’s a huge plus!!! I know I’m resilient and I am learning to make the best out of it.

I hate beijg poor I miss making tons of money and now I am making it again. I know I‘m capable. Screw the world, whether there’s massive inflation or war idc! I made for success. Lets get back to work!

Cheers for not giving up and believing in yourself no matter how screwed you were in the past!

I’ve been struggling with something for a while now. My mom works at a night club. She's basically entertaining men in there. I know she’s just doing it to support us, but it still bothers me.