So I can be completely honest here, I have completely fallen for my driving instructor - the catch? He’s 27years older than me and married.

I am a grown woman, I would never act on it and to be honest he has no idea. We flirt a bit but I’m so comfortable in his presence, he somehow without wanting or trying manages to open me up like a book.. he has bent over backwards to help me with driving..

To add to my ever growing moral spinning compass, he talks about his wife a LOT and I just die a little inside. I had to stop the lesson abruptly yesterday because I was just fucking crushed.

I know full well how I feel, I’m not crushing l’m wholly in love. He always messages me after every lesson and when he doesn’t I feel utter sadness.

I just … don’t want to feel it I want it to go away. I don’t recognise myself. I can’t eat and I can’t sleep.

I’m not asking for advice or judgement. I needed it off my chest. I have no one to speak too.

I’m embarrassed, I’m ashamed and I’m so, so lonely.

Yes. I am getting another instructor.

How random this has caught me off guard. Thought I knew myself but I don’t.

I was talking to a friend (girl) let's call her 'H' about how my another friend let's call her 's' was dating a guy who is 5 years older than her, now all of us are in our mid 20s so it's not that common but s is dating bf 'M' since she was 15 and M bas 20. Initially she was like it's grooming and Everything but then I told H, that M is a muslim (H is also a muslim) she immediately changed sides and said oh it's fine initially it was wrong but now it's okay and blamed me that I was an islamiphobe. I was soo fu**ing shocked. And speechless like id i was an islamiphobe 1st of all i wouldn't be her friend. I'm still shocked and it's weird how Just because he is a Muslim and she is too she feels the need to defend him ? Like wtf? Although I have told s about the thing with her bf and she kinda agreed with it because of a lot of things. It's so weird.

So, this guy friend and I go long way back but ever since I got sick, he had been messaging me every 3 days to check on me since January. So thats been 4 months of being consistent. He had helped me in my sickness and acted like my doctor giving tips, talked to me when i had panic attack, sending me an excel sheet of what to eat/not to eat and visited me in the hospital when i got sick.

I don't have problems with him with messaging me first but i have problems with him whenever he is finish knowing what my health condition is, he goes off and either doesnt reply and comes back to me 3 days later for the next "check up". I really got fed up when I tried asking about his life and got no response.

When he came back, he did apologize but just joked around saying he came back from another planet. He also responded regarding his family life but a bit generic that it was the same. So when he messaged me, i no longer prioritized his messages and answered whenever i only had the time like 3 hours later. And hardly respond right away cause i was also outside.

Because of that, he must have caught the hint because he responded a short message after i responded and I just left it as is. Normally, im the perky one and have way long messages but now, i acted professionally and gave bare minimum answers.

I really felt i was no longer interested but I'm feeling a bit guilty because that guy said he was an empath before.

These last few years getting my master degree are probably the best time of my life. I got to learn about the thing I loved since childhood, I can go back to be someone who only have to care about homework and video games, and I spent some amazing times working with undergrads on capstone projects, it made me feel young again. I wish I could just stay in the ivory tower forever, away from everything.

But no, it all have to go. Now I have to face my true self again, a scared child, unable to find a job, unable to find someone who loves me, unable to keep any friendship without fucked it all up. I haven't change even one bit after all.

The only things keep me going are my daydreams, and they always are. I will be an industry expert; I will also be a reputable professor; And I will have a side job, which I'm so good at it I even get an award for it; I will have a perfect partner by my side, and surrounded by lots of friends.

I don't wanna grow up. Every day past means I'm further away from my perfect future, every week wasted means I wouldn't get anything done towards my goal. Everything is so bleak and I am so scared.

I swear I tried, I tried as hard as I could. Am I still traumatized by my childhood so I don't how know to handle relationships and emotions? Am I just...not the sharpest tool in the shed so I have achieved so little compared to my peers?

People tell me I'm fine, that I'm really good at what I do, that I'm a nice person, that they care about me. But I don't know anymore, who am "I" really? Is it an avatar I faked to trick people surround me, or is it me, in my own eyes?

All the regrets, all the thing I haven't done... I really wish I could turn back the clock and live again.

my” mom” gives me my iPad and takes it back because I answered a call at 5:00 am and said I’m too young to be doing that. And goes through it and demands for the password because she pays for it she says

Hi. To be honest, I'm not sure why I decided to write how I feel on a reddit post since I usually just journal, maybe I just want to hear someone's advice as to how I can combat this feeling. But I recently have just felt so unvalued, or so worthless as not only a man, but even a human being at times.

What I mean by this is the fact that I've never felt anyone ever fight for me ever. Every friendship/relationship I lost I tried my hardest to still keep and fight for, but I've never noticed any effort for them to keep me in their lives. Like once, a friend decided to cut off an entire group of friends that I happened to be apart of, and I had to fight to still stay in his life.

And disregarding friendships, I made the unfortunate mistake of trying to find someone on the plethora of dating apps and I just feel so defeated since every conversation just ends up with me either getting ghosted or unmatched immediately. I'm not saying I deserve to not be ghosted or unmatched and I get that it's a part of the experience, but it's just starting to overwhelm me at this point.

I just feel so dejected and unmotivated since I guess I somewhat believe that I'm not worth fighting for, and I really don't know how to change that at all. I just don't feel valued at all.

Jason Waldram was a firefighter who had half his face caved in, received two reconstructive surgeries, became a firefighter, suffered 3 head injuries, a neck injury and ptsd. He fought through substance abuse, and emotional trauma from an abusive girlfriend WHILE he was going through the trauma of firefighting. He was also shot in the chest, and in 2005 was drugged and assaulted. After the assault, he tried to kill himself but was rescued by his cousin and survived. He has composed numerous songs/film scores, written an album in the genre of pop/rock, and continues to work towards healing. His main goal is to heal to the point where he can bring light to those who are at rock bottom, and he hopes he can help as many individuals with trauma and injury so that they too may help others.

This is off my chest now the link to his media is on this profile.

Stay safe fellow friends

I just want to be loved, the right way… I’ve been in a bad relationship for the past 10 years and it has destroyed me. I can’t just easily leave, we share kids, finances, a home etc and financially I can’t manage on my own.

I feel disappointed in myself for allowing to be in a relationship like this. I am depressed, I am so lonely, I’m tired, and I crave a normal, peaceful, happy life. I don’t know what I did in my life to deserve any of this.

Long story short, I 18f was at a wedding after party, my cousin 24f kept giving me gin, vodka and rum, obviously I got very drunk because my alcohol tolorence is very low and i didn't eat much today. But when I was being driven home by another family member, I posted on my story that I needed to get laid, and my bf 17m was in New South Wales.

I had this guy DM me saying that he'll do it once he comes back to Queensland and I replied with 'bro f off, I have a boyfriend you f-ing gronk' and this guy kept insisting that he was bf, even knowing by boyfriend's name and his exact location. He even knew my full name, even tho on snap I go by a fake name. I ended up being extremely hostile towards the guy, threatening him with violence, being very verbally abusive and saying once my bf see these messages he ain't gonna be happy.

I still have alcohol in my system, but I can think a bit more clearly, I read those exact messages and omfg I said all of those things to my bf and he screenshotted them. I feel like I ruined my relationship with him, and I don't know how to apologize. I truly do love him

TW: addictions, death.

Firstly I want to start by apologising for my English, as it's not my first language.

So, the story is that I (26F) have a functional alcoholic mother (66F). For as long as I can remember, she's been always like this. I can recall seeing cases of beers in places in the kitchen where they shouldn't have been, but I never really fully understood that she was an alcoholic, at least for most of my life. Then, I started reading about addictions and realised that she was one.

When I was a kid I remember noticing weird patterns, things, and overall days (I actually called them "mom's weird days") in my mother. She's been always a depressive, angry, bitter woman whose been really difficult to deal with, but I still love her, she's my mom and she has sacrificed a lot for me. I won't get into much detail of my parents relationship, but honestly they needed a divorce years ago (they're still married tho).

Fast forward to the present, she was diagnosed with cirrhosis in 2019. She has ascitis (which is liquid in the belly), hipertension in the portal vein, and other things. She was put on a strict diet, diuretics and other pills to help stabilise the liver, but she stopped going to the doctor in 2021. This has always been a problem, she never wanted to do her checkups and it caused HUGE arguments whenever my father or I mentioned.

This year she developed the same symptoms as in 2019, but worse. She was hospitalised 2 weeks, but now she's again in the hospital. She has developed hepatic encephalopathy, which makes her confused, disoriented, etc. it's like she has dementia or Alzheimer's. This has taken a big toll on me, because one night she didn't even recognised me. Apparently, this is a very hard issue to treat and resolve, it depends on the liver working again, and that's hard and slow. It can be permanent.

I just can't take it anymore. I've been crying for days, I'm mourning her already and she's not gone, but at the same time, she is, because she's like a shell of what she used to be. I'm worried about my father and his health because he's trying to protect me from seeing the worse of this, but that's making me worry even more for both of them. I'm terribly sad, angry... Yesterday I was driving while crying and it got so bad I truly don't remember how I got home and how I didn't crash my car.

I feel so angry because why is this happening? Why me? Why I have to deal with this, this unprepared? I was starting my life, I had other priorities, I wasn't ready for a parent slowly dying and for having to take care of them. I thought this would happen later in life, and I guess you're never prepared for it, but I don't know... I feel like a child crying for his mother.

I'm in therapy but I just needed to get this out of my chest and see if someone here has been going through something similar. I feel so alone and isolated in this, because honestly this is not the normal experience for a 26 yo girl.

TL;DR: my mom is an alcoholic and because of this, she's dying and I just can't take this situation anymore.

I'm 22 and I'm in love with a person who's 37, me (M22) and him (M37). Let’s call him michael

Sorry for the mistakes, English is not my first language.

This story began in May 2023. I met this guy on a dating app, and we started talking non-stop for a month. Eventually, we met in person, started hanging out, and having late-night dates (it made me feel really good, I hadn't been this happy in a long time). On the third date, he confessed that he had lied about his age and that he was in a relationship at that time (during our conversations on the dating app, he told me he was 30). I told him it wasn't right, but we could still be friends. Out of the blue, he kissed me, and I agreed. We talked every day, and he introduced me to the place where he and his partner worked. Both of us started falling in love and developing stronger emotions. We went from "I love you" to "I LOVE YOU SO MUCH." He told me about his past and all the people he had been with before his partner, and I accepted him that way. Thanks to him, I came out to my family, I opened up more as a person, and because of him and his partner, we went to another country for a week to work. During that trip, he and I grew closer, and he started to distance himself from his boyfriend. He told me he loved me and didn't want to lose me while crying. He stopped seeking his boyfriend out both sexually and socially. Both of us visualized a future together (but he was still with his partner). His partner flirted with me when I first started working with them, and I had the conversations. I showed them to the 37-year-old, and he said that was reason enough to break up with his boyfriend and start with me. He asked for permission to take pictures of my phone with the conversations, and I agreed. He said he would talk to his boyfriend to show him the photos and break up with him. The 37-year-old and I argued about several things, and the plan with the photos was postponed. Recently, he told me he wanted to talk to me. He took me to a park and told me it was time to end it because he wanted to try to work things out with his partner and that I was too young for him, that he was just wasting my time (my heart broke). We kept talking, and we agreed to keep seeing each other, but he would also try to fix things with his boyfriend. The affection and jealousy he showed towards me diminished, and we talked about it. He showed me affection again and says he loves me.

My heart wants to be with him and build a life together. Thanks to him, I changed my life a lot for the better.

I know it's not fair to his boyfriend, and it's not fair to me to be in this situation, but I really love him a lot.

Michael gave me the password to his iPhone. One day, while using his iPhone, I accessed his conversation with himself and found evidence of him being unfaithful to his partner before meeting me. Should I give his password to his partner anonymously and tell them where to look for those conversations?

As the title says, my boyfriend has a feet fetish which I’m fine with other than the fact that I have ugly manly broad tanned feet. It’s not an exaggeration when I say that. It’s just bad genetics and bad luck lol. I’ve never shown him my feet before because of this fear. My feet are broad and tanned in certain areas only because of the heatwave in our country and they’re just downright ugly. I have body dysmorphia too so I’m terrified of talking to him about this or showing it to him to the point where I’m just thinking of ways to cover my feet all the time. I’m scared that he would not be attracted to me anymore if he sees my feet and/or he wouldn’t want to indulge in his feet fantasies with me. It’s so bad that I would have done some kind of plastic surgery if I had the money for it.

TLDR; boyfriend has a feet fetish, I have ugly feet and body dysmorphia and ‘m terrified that he won’t find me attractive anymore if he sees my feet.

I'm just so so tired and frustrated. I really feel like I'm living with a prepubescent child. He wasn't like this before we bought a house together. He was always (relatively) tidy and wanted to do stuff together.

He sits behind his computer and plays videogames literally the entire day.

If I stop cleaning up after him, he would live in his own filth.

Stuff around the house needs to be done. And when I ask him to help me, even in a kind way, he will get angry or frustrated. We have two dogs, and I really care about my house not smelling like wet dog all the time. When he says he's gonna do something, he ends up not finishing it or not starting at all. Even when I ask if he wants to go out and do something fun, he prefers to stay home and play videogames. And he acts like he wants to go home the entire time we are out. If he's not on his PC playing videogames, he's on his phone, watching youtube about said videogames.

I'm at my breaking point. I've brought this up to him so many times, but he acts like a wounded dog and refuses to have a conversation about it. He just gets angry and says that playing videogames is the ONLY thing that helps him relax, everything else is just a chore to him.

I'm at a point where I am thinking of selling the house and just leaving. I deserve someone who wants to do things TOGETHER.

So a friend of mine was arrested for.. shooting his girlfriend out of depression, exasperation, and other things I don't know. I haven't got to talk to him yet and I really would like to. I know it sounds, I don't know maybe stupid to you that I'm concerned about him, but I am. He's been real down and she got shot in the leg so she's going to be okay and he almost got killed by the cops because he was putting a gun to his head so I don't know if he wanted to do a death by cop or not. My question is, to those of you who have experience with this because I don't; is it stupid, risky, whatever, of me to call the county sheriff's department to try to talk to him to at least tell him that I love him and worrying about him and all that, so he doesn't think he's all alone? Now, I highly doubt that they will actually let me talk to him or possibly give him a note? I don't know. If I knew somebody up there, the chances would be greater that he could get a note or at least some little message verbally. Again, do you think that if I called up there to see how he's doing or whatever, that the cops would then turn their attention to me and start following me around and try to put me in jail for some reason? I mean, I am his friend and so I would be his phone directory and yes, he has been into some things and so they may think guilt by association or something. I'm having a dilemma with this. A huge dilemma. I want to call him right now but I'd really like to hear people's opinions on it.. not that I'm wanting to call him or still love him or still calling my friend. I don't give a shit frankly if you don't like that cuz he's he's not that way really he just flipped. And we've all flipped. He's actually very mild-mannered and has very mellow energy. I'm an empath and that's all I get from him is mellowness and joy when he comes to see me. Anyway, obviously he's going to be gone for a while and I don't know what they're going to do with his house or anything. I just told a mutual friend that I think has a key that I want to go in before his landlord comes and grabs everything. I don't know how that works either. Anyway, could you please give me any information or wisdom that you have gained about this in life? Thank you so much!

My bf and I started dating at the beginning of December and we both said that we're the only people that we'd date during that time. We started our relationship pretty early (still in December) and have been together ever since. The other day, we talked about it and through coincidence it came out that he dated other women during our dates. I get that it's ok to date multiple people at once, but what bothers me is the fact that he lied about it back then. We got together at the end of December, but he had a date planned with a girl on the 31st, after we already were official. The girl messaged him about his whereabouts for their date. There was no answer from him and he swears that he never cheated on me or went on that date with her. However, I said that there might be the possibility that he deleted messages, which he denies and thinks that I'm crazy thinking that. I want to believe him and I think that he is actually a decent person, but somehow I can't get over it and am still pretty pissed about it. Am I crazy for being pissed about that? This is a rant, but advice is also appreciated.

This week we hat the national shooting team triles (better known as the top 80) and today we got the list of the chosen team. I have been doing sharp shooting for 2 years now and have worked my way up from junior to expert in that time. I have been told I'm an amazing shot, making it to expert at 15 but I'm still devestated in the news. Everyone in my family was roothing for me to at least get the national clothing. It almost feels like I let them down as well. I'm writing this in my team's bus waiting for the big fancy dinner. Hell by now I'm the only one that wasn't chosen for the national team in my team. I am seriously trying not to cry before the fancy dinner and pize giving. This has is all I can say before I break out in tears.

So 4 years ago at the recommendation of my mom I decided to join a free government-funded C++ programming course. I didnt want to be scoffed at for being uninterested at anything so I said yes, even though I wasnt sure about fully completing it.

It was (still is) the biggest mistake of my entire life.

I was at all the webinars/lectures, but when it came time to do the homework after each lecture I just couldnt do it, being in school and also procrastinating my life away. As a result I flunked out after the 1st semester ended and I already felt very anxious when my parents kept asking me about the course, cause I feared theyd reprimand me for my laziness, so constantly lying and tell them everything was ok seemed like the only way out of this mess.

After that it was absolutely horrible, cause there were many times where I nearly got caught or questioned and the stress of keeping that lie alive was making me sleep less and overthink. Last year my mom stopped mentioning the course. I thought she already knew and just let it slide until 3 months ago when she started asking me about it in a way that I realised I should come clean, she was slightly mad, but I guess she thought I just took a small hiatus from the homework and said that I should get myself back up and continue??? So now Im still stuck ruminating about what my next plans are since shes gonna find about the lie sooner or later.

I really dont know what to do. The fear of dissapointing my mom is so bad that I am always thinking about suicide, cause she thinks that if I quit the courses she has to pay for it for some reason, even though its been 4 whole years without anything even remotely like that.

The only thing I wish for is for my parents to forever forget this like it never happened. But that is never gonna happen so the only stress-free way out is to end it all. Now if theres anything I want in life, I would like a fully loaded gun directed at my head. Ive even tried venting to my older brother about this and the only advice he has is to come clean. I know this is pretty much the most effective way, but Ive already lied to my parents in the past and broke their promises for too long, if they find out theyll lose all trust in me.

But thats just the truth. Im just some incapable idiot who always lies because he is scared of others, so maybe this stress and burden is exactly what I deserve for what my poor parents went through.

Dear father,
Since I was a kid, I always admire you. And we had a lot of good times together. I always told people, you inspired me a lot. And my love for writing, and the urge to explore the world comes from you, I guess.
I knew my mom did many wrong things to you. She had different affairs. She talked vulgarly. I don’t it either. I loathed that side of her with all of my childhood. And I tried to protect you from it also.
By being a good daughter, and being a middleman for your relationship. And that caused me severe childhood trauma, and depression, of course.
Going to therapy, and growing up, I saw more from our family’s dynamic. You contributed a lot of faults to its failure too.
You are, until recently, an alcohol addict.
You used to be a gambler addicted also. When mom got pregnant with me, you went to gamble several times. And when I was little, I woke up to you guys fight at 2 AM because you were gambling too. You lost a lot of money.
We had a lot of time together. Because mom handled all the household chores and took care of both me and my brother. And yet, you complained about her, complained about the food every meal, and you always mocked her to neighbors or relatives.
And when I started working, you had your affair too. With a girl who were even younger than me. I told Mom, look, you have several affairs, so I don’t care if he has something too. You guys figure it out.
But you always think I side with mom. Never. I sided with none of you.
Our daughter-father relationship died gradually on many occasions:
- When I first had my part-time job salary, I called you, to ask about your T-shirt size, I wanted to buy something for you. Well, you were drunk, you told me, “I don’t fucking need anything. You are just like mom” or something like that.
- When I shared about my depression, you told me “Well, it’s because of you. I have nothing to do with it.”
- Whenever I come back and visit you and Mom, you will find ways to compare me with other children that you know, every fucking day. Mainly about how much money they gave their parents, or how successful they are. Well many of them have 10 years, 20 years older than me LOL. And I beg their parents are different, not like you and mom.
- When I introduced my fiancé to you and mom, we had a meal together, and you and me fought again because you kept complaining about every dish that mom cooked, you told me “You think you have a white fiancé and now you can teach me thing?”. OMG…I don’t think I can forget it.
- …and many more
So when I knew you have cancer, a bit of me was feeling relief. I don’t need to deal with you anymore soon I guess. But I also cried many times. I cried for you, and for me, and for our once beautiful father-daughter relationship. And I also decided to forgive everything that you hurt me. Because for sure, I’ve hurt you many times too.
I’m far away from you, and mom, 10000km, and that’s the reason I’m having a better life. But I also want to come back and maybe cook something for you, talk with you. But I heard that you expect me to stay in the hospital and take care of you for 2 weeks. And you expect that my depression now is away so I can take care of you? I felt angry again. I felt crazily angry. I don’t love you as a daughter loves a dad anymore. I want to come back because I’m afraid I will regret later.
But now I don’t now. I just feel so much angry. You don’t show me love, and you expect me to love you?

Sorry for the grammar, English is not my first language.

My husband and I are in our late 20s, together for 5 years and married for 2. Lately we seem to be quarrelling more about intimacy/sex life. My libido and need for intimacy is much higher than my husband’s, and his is much lower. As it stands, we do not engage in sexual activity unless I initiate it. Often, he puts up excuses like his stomach hurts, he’s too tired from work(we both work full time, but his work is a desk job), he needs to use the toilet, he’s busy etc. if it was up to him, we would probably have sex once a week just for him to release some pent up sexual energy. We have discussed this multiple times but it all ends with him saying that if he doesn’t want to do it then we shouldn’t do it. But what about my needs? He tells me to get off by myself (which I do but I definitely envisioned a better sex life for myself. How am I going to withstand another 30 years of this????)

Lately, I do feel like he is getting disgusted when I do touch him. He recoils slightly but tries to not show it. I did attempt to discuss this with him which he denies but it’s obvious what he’s doing? I feel like he is disgusted with the part of me that wants intimacy because he would much rather read a book instead.

He does tell me that he loves me, but I am not sure if he “loves” me or just loves how easy I make his life to be. In addition to working full time, I cook daily and clean the house. Other than having dinner together watching the television, he withdraws into his “work room” and does not come out until it is time to sleep.

In terms of dates, he has never initiated any across the 5 years we have been together. I initiate everything and it was fine back then because I had thought that he just wasn’t an initiative person.

I’m not sure if divorce is something I’d want to pursue right now, as he is my best friend and losing him would be very difficult.

And no, physically I have not let myself go. I am still the same weight I was a few years ago and have gotten more fit recently…

How do you deal with having a spouse who is disgusted at you/with your touch? It’s eating me up inside and crushing my self esteem slowly.

I am a teacher, and sometimes, the hardest part of my job is not being petty to the parents who are rude. I truly have had ample opportunities, but I just haven’t been able to do it. I’ve kept my mouth shut because I really do love my job, and I love teaching. But man, sometimes, I would love nothing more than to tell a parent how terrible of a parent they really are.

My husband will do anything for me; he cares deeply for me, and I know he loves me. We've been together for almost 20years, married for 10.

The problem is, my dad has been seriously injured, and is currently recovering in hospital. His recovery is slow and he will need months of rehabilitation. Due to his injuries he is disabled. It's been only a week since the accident and my husband has only come to hospital twice, apparantly he can't be strong/put on a brave face for my dad. I'm a very strong person, but over the years I've had a lot to deal with, including my husbands cancer; I was there every step of the way.

Problem is, how do I forgive and forget? My dad will need care, if he is unavailable to support us now, what happens if my dad needs to live with us (which is likely to happen as he has nowhere to go)? I know it's tough on my husband, but what about being strong, and supportive for me? I have not heard a single word from his family, no message or phone call - and we have (clearly no longer) an amazing relationship. What if this was his mum or dad, I would not have hesitated to help where I could.

I know I'm stressed, and should calm down before making decisions, but I'm ready to divorce over this.

Why was I like this as a child? NSFW

Throwaway acct. Writing this partly to get it off my chest (haha) and partly to know if anyone else could relate to this or offer any insight as to why I was like this.

Hi, 25 F here, and when I was younger (13-17) I would go on webcam chat websites (think Omegle) and show strangers my breasts. The first time I did it was for a man I was talking to for a few days (probably in his 40s). I don’t even remember what we would talk about- but one night, he asked if he could see them and after a lot of convincing, I just remember lifting my shirt up and showing him. I don’t know why I complied, maybe partly due to my people pleasing tendencies, but I also liked the attention and the compliments I would get. I also started masturbating at a young age so I’m not going to lie- it did turn me on. He also knew how old I was but at the time, this didn’t seem as big of a deal to me- though I knew it was inappropriate. I grew up watching weird anime so large age gaps were normal and romanticized in my eyes.

I continued exposing myself to strangers on the internet, sometimes without even being asked to or to multiple people at a time. Naturally, the calls got more explicit and sometimes the men would ask me to touch myself or fondle my breasts while they masturbated and I did the same. I didn’t do this often (maybe once a month) because I would feel a lot of guilt and shame right after, but I did continue to do this until I became an adult. Anytime I did it the men always knew my age.

I did it a few times as an adult but it never felt the same and I never got the same excitement. I felt like I was more desirable as a child.

As I got older, I learnt more about how people were being groomed online and how situations like mine could actually be trauma. I brought this up to my therapist one day because though I felt guilt/shame after doing those things, I never once felt like what I was doing was against my will. I always felt in control of the situation so I was confused when she said that it was a form of trauma and it likely subconsciously effects me in adulthood- but I really can’t figure out how besides maybe my exhibitionist kink? I don’t know.

Anyway, does anyone have any thoughts? Or can relate? So sorry about the ramble and poor grammar- sleep deprived and writing this at 4:00 am after spiraling thinking about this for hours.

My Sister (35F) and I (37F) have always been very close and great friends, but at the same time we've also always had a naturally competitive tension between us.

Being similar in a lot of ways always made any differences between us feel a bit more significant and magnified. At times we both got obviously smug or hung up about petty things. I'll also admit that her always being a little younger and 'prettier' meant it felt things typically leant a bit more her way.

During a recent visit to her house I made an awkward and unintentional discovery.

I was looking for my phone but when I went to check in my sisters bedroom I opened the door to find her husband in the middle of getting changed. I walked in right at the most crucial moment and was confronted by a complete full frontal view.

While I was shocked by what I saw I was honestly most specifically shocked by how 'little' there was to see. It was 'extreme' to the point of being quite literally the smallest I've encountered irl by a very wide margin.

Needless to say I made a very hasty and apologetic retreat and since then neither my BIL or I have acknowledged the incident in any way. I also haven't told my sister about it.

The problem is that I'm finding it almost impossible to avoid feeling awkwardly 'happy' about my newfound knowledge. I really can't deny finding a certain smug thrill around my sister now, armed with this secret and most intensely intimate form of 'victory'.

I know it's selfish and immature but part of me feels like after years of fiercely comparing over trivial things I've suddenly won the world cup final of sisterly one-upmanship.

Is it natural/acceptable for me to at least privately feel smug and gleeful that she got the shortest straw?

I have honestly been acting outwardly more smug and superior around my sister since the incident and I can tell she has picked up on this but is confused why I have this newfound attitude. So while I'm not explicitly sharing the reason for my feelings my lack of poker face is definitely making my sister awkwardly aware something is up.

I also haven't come clean to my sister about what happened and am also enjoying the secret aspect of the situation a little too much.

For context I 22F work in the food business, for a nicer hotel. This hotel has a full team consisting of people who handle guests, and people who make the food.

Well recently I believe someone who makes the food, has gone around purposely spreading drama about me. I'll call them "A". "A" has been claiming I've been talking smack about my fellow coworkers in the front. This issue did start about 3 weeks a month ago now, where a coworker I had no problems with, comes up to me and tells me I said they were going to get fired and that "A" told them. Standing there shocked I had no idea what they were talking about. I brushed it off, and was told thats normal drama its bound to happen. Well a new issue has arisen, and now "A", I believe has gone to my supervisors now, and started saying I'm talking smack about others now aswell.

For clarification, I have not talked smack about anyone, but I did have a fellow coworker approach me today, while "A" was in a general vicinity and could listen. My fellow coworker asked me about someone who was let go (Call this person "B") during the time they were gone. I told the situation honestly, and said "I honestly believe that "B" has this coming. However, I don't want my words twisted, so I'll say I do not believe they deserved this, but with the things they were doing, being talked to multiple times about it and being argumentative, our boss didn't really have a choice." My coworker agreed and everything was good. It was not until later tonight that I was told that someone came to me about this issue.

I'm not looking for advice on the situation, I'm already talking to my supervisors and managers, and luckily the person who told me about this, I'm close friends with, and not in trouble. I however just want this to be out, and not bundled inside.

me (16f) and my ex (16m) broke up 3 weeks ago, it was because of his disrespect. Quick storytime we've dated for 11 months. Throughout the relationship we've had many problems about his behaviours. He liked girls' stories then he insisted on not removing girls (which he didnt even know personally) on instagram, defended people that didnt respect our relationships nor us to me, had spent time with his friend on the computer (online friend) for a week straight ignoring me most of the time and the list goes on. We broke up through text. Before this break up we had broken up and didnt talk for 3 days and then he came to me apologizing and saying it will be different. But he still didnt make things right and the last straw was him calling me slurs and told me he hated me even after we had especially talked about that and after ive told him not to 3 times in two weeks. After the breakup i felt great but a bit lonely, i got rid of everything that reminded me of him. But i still had questions like "Why did we get back together if he were going to act this way anyway?". I thought the best way to know is from him. So i texted him saying "Sorry for bothering i just wanted to know if you would like to talk about the breakup face to face, i have some questions that are occupying my head. i am not trying to get back together.". I know he treated me like sh!t and the relationship was toxic but I texted him purely out of my respect for the things we've gone through together and him, i just wanted to talk to him about the breakup and end things forever. He just replied with "nah". i didnt insist on it and said "ok thanks anyway take care" and he replied "u too". What do you think about this?

This is not that deep but I cannot stop thinking about it. I (30f) work in a small, somewhat unconventional office with 2 other people (25f, 30f) and my boss (32f).

My work has the normal weird power struggle boss/employee dynamic. I can swallow my pride and accept shit when necessary. I’m only a year into this job and don’t want to ruffle feathers so I take things on the chin very often. And also most things are just not that serious. I’m just trying to make the workday go smoothly and get out.

But this week something happened that really bothers me.

One day when all at the office table, I notice my boss applying a lipstick. Not a big deal. I look closer. It’s 100% my lipstick. It’s a specific shade and brand I purchased for a sentimental reason and have worn and left at the office more than once (the office is small and personal, the room we all work in is one where we frequently leave our things and are in and out of very often). I’m the closing manager and sometimes leave things on the communal table. Haven’t seen this lipstick in a while and just accepted it as lost. I see her using it in front of me and can’t stop thinking about it for a few days.

I’ve always been a passive person. I just don’t fight that hard for much, I’m a follower and a people pleaser. But the way this person acts to me is unprofessional and not very “boss” like (a coworker has said to me she tries to be a cool friend instead of a boss and it’s not just me that has an issue with it)

I decided to say something, even though I know she’s going to be weird and passive aggressive about it because that’s how she is.

To paraphrase, I said “hey, that lipstick you were using the other day, where did you get it?” (Oh, Walmart or something) “you didn’t find it at the office or something? Because I use the exact same one and the last time I saw it was here” (no this is mine I got it at Walmart and I only use it with a certain lip liner that’s why it’s so worn down it’s mine)

I know she is lying. I tried very hard to be the opposite of accusatory and present it in her weird “casual” way and almost laugh it off and blame myself, because I figured that would work and she would admit to taking it. It didn’t work. I know it’s my lipstick. It is too close quarters to be a coincidence

I know this is not that big of a deal but I cannot get it out of my head and needed to get it off my chest. I gave her ample opportunity to pretend it was an accident and to give me back what is mine, even texting her to be like “if you could see if you have 2 because you accidentally picked it up thinking it was yours” and she doubled down even though it is such a niche thing. This is just so weird. Im not trying to die on this hill but if she can’t give this back I will never trust her again. It’s almost the last straw based on all of her micro aggressions the past year.

“Finders keepers” is not a thing. We are adults. Do not take shit that does not belong to you just because it’s in a space you think you own. Other people work here. This belongs to me and I’m not backing down.

I just can’t get it out of my head and it’s SO WEIRD that she wouldn’t just take the out and admit that she grabbed it thinking it was left by a stranger or something. Like I asked you to your face and this is the route you wanna take? So strange and frustrating. I just don’t want to lose sleep over this anymore. Im gonna bring it up again more forcefully and honestly don’t care about the weird repercussions dynamic wise. This is so unnecessary.

ETA: I am not the only one who leaves a few things on the office from time to time. Think hotel convention center hub in terms of an ‘office.’ Lunch items, clothing and hair items from changing into uniform from street clothes, shoes, snacks, etc. consistently getting left in our communal area. I don’t want to hear “you shouldn’t have left something lying around you didn’t want to get stolen.” Every person on earth knows sometimes you use something personal in the bathroom or in a mirror you set down and forget where you left it. I just didn’t think someone would be so vindictive to take something and then not own up to it when confronted. It could have been so easy and I would have understood.

So basically I used to be “friends” with this rich girl who had nothing but evil intentions for me, manipulated me into meeting a man 10 years older than me who ended up taking advantage of my naïvety. He was very abusive, exploitive and disrespectful asf. From my understanding this man preys on young vulnerable immigrant girls stalks where their dad works and gets them laid off, then sleeps with their daughters. I just can’t believe someone got away doing something so heinous and disgusting. My “friend” was basically dating that guy who abused me. She would constantly make comments like “I be shting on btches” “btches have to be careful with me” or “btches be dumb” or “i be violating btvhes” “ I be ending btches” “btches wish they were me” and that she gets guys and how girls wish they were her. She calls her male partners “assets” where she sets girls up with her boyfriends (assets like she mentioned earlier) and then those guys steal financial resources from the girls family. She would FaceTime me all day long and make up all these weird stories about her life. How “Palestinians are oppressed” or “Muslims are oppressed” I’m not even Muslim, I’m Hindu. She would call me a “Palestinian” because of my social class. This girls boyfriend literally rped me, and she didn’t give a shit, she continued FaceTiming me telling me bullsht stories about her boyfriends. I was suffering with pain, humiliation and guilt and she didn’t give two craps. Her comments made me feel super uncomfortable. And she did in fact did all the things she mentioned to me. And she did all this to me because I gave her an unintentional back massage when I was 15 and she was 18. She yelled at me and told me to back off, I got very teary eyed and apologized, but she didn’t accept it. And she set me up with one of her “assets”. She’s very egocentric like todays rappers are. I feel violated, humiliated and just insecure. I’m just suffering in constant bitterness everyday. I’ve never been called such words i’m the sweetest person in the world and the fact people make me seem like I’m that, is disgusting. Like i’ll never be able to feel myself or be confident badss ever again. I just don’t know what to do.

I hate my stepmom. She does not care about me! She wants all my dad’s attention and she sees him almost every day whereas I see him like 10 times a year. They go on 3-star dinners together and travel to luxurious places and stay in 5-star hotels EVERY OTHER WEEK!! With my father’s money!

It’s gotten to a point where my dad advocates more for HER wellbeing than mine and my siblings’. I need to live in the frame of HER narrative. I’m so sick of it, I feel like I cannot breathe when I’m with them and that I always need to pull off a fake acting performance or else my stepmom will complain to my dad that I’m acting hostile towards her.

It feels like me, my twin brother and my sister(F15) have just been erased from their lives and that our existence does not fit with the new narrative. My dad also has another daughter (F8) from another failed relationship. My step mom and my dad created this new ‘perfect family’ with her, my dad, my half sister of 8 and my step brother (M15) and all the children from my dad’s first marriage (including me) are like side characters to them.

Whenever I’m at my dad’s place I always have to serve him and my step mom and nobody will ever step up for me.. My real mom, she has always stepped up for me. My dad left my family for another woman and went to another country in 2012.. I resent my dad for so many things which probably will not fit into this rant. He has always used me as an outlet because I look the lost like my mom and he has been verbally and physically abusive towards me and whenever that happened, my step mom would just stand there and look and not stand up for me. They even decided to marry each other after I told my step mom that he used to hit me from age 7-11.. As if she doesn’t care!! She just wants a lifestyle upgrade and well… she got it! My dad is about to buy her a porche and a 45K rolex!

my partner and i (both in our early 20s) have been dating for a few months now, but have been talking for almost half a year. for context, this is his 5th/6th relationship and this is my first. he has a secure, leaning slightly anxious relationship attachment style and i am an anxious avoidant (the best of both worlds /s). we met thru tinder (both of us on there for shits and giggles, a little embarrassing origin story haha) as we have progressed in our relationship, ive felt insecure about so many things that are related to how i grew up; things like cheating, leaving a partner behind, lack of communication, etc.

we talked about it before and he’s made efforts to make me feel better and less anxious. however, now i feel like he’s lost a bit of the same feelings he’s had for me from the beginning of when we first started talking. and i feel like it’s because i am so anxious and doubtful and maybe he feels like im holding him down, and he doesn’t see me as this special person anymore.

i just notice little things and my brain wants to transfix on it. i haven’t gotten flowers in a while even though he used to say he wants to do it for me. he doesn’t say that he likes me as much (haven’t gotten to the L-word stage lol). he doesn’t text random “i miss yous” anymore unless i say it first. things like that.

my feelings are also now made even more severe because he will be leaving out of state to pursue grad school & most likely will find a job in another state and does not really want to stay in our home state permanently, whereas i cannot imagine myself leaving my home state and my family. our future views on building a family don’t align either; he wants kids and i don’t. yes i understand we’ve only been together for a few months but it was a topic brought up early on in our talking stage.

we’re young and i want to enjoy the moments we have together. but i also think a lot about an inevitable end. i just want these feelings of anxiousness and doubt to stop.