I just turned 20, and I am a guy.

I am writing this because I want to vent out my frustration.

I feel scared to go to class everyday in my college because there is this guy who picks on me. He makes jokes *on* me, not with me, and tries to isolate me. He does this mostly when he is with his friend group. His other friends laugh along. This is not "friendly humorous banter" - it is literally targeted bullying and making fun of someone.

I used to be bullied in school because 1) i had a quiet and shy personality so i wouldn't stand up to people and would take it and 2) I had Vitiligo. Vitiligo means white spots on my skin. Even some of my hair was grey.

I would get teased about it all the time. Literally all the time. They would ridicule me for putting medicinal oil everyday to school(i had to apply oil on my hair). They would even call me some names which are offensive, call me gay and a trans beggar no reason(in a different language which sounds more offensive).

They would even make fun of my passion for a musical instrument and compare me to some street busker would have to beg for money and play and make jokes(street buskers are awesome btw, how is this an insult lol. But you get what im saying, they were very mean to me).

This made me really scared of people, and in case an altercation/conflict would happen, I would always stress and worry as to how I would deal with it since I never knew how to back in school.

Since my last year of school, I realized i am extroverted and social, love meeting new people. Junior college(11th and 12th) was about to start but then the pandemic hit. I did meet a lot of new people and made friends, but most of them were temporary and superficial.

Then came degree college(im in my final year now).

I have no friends in my class. I am forced to travel 35 kilometres everyday(both ways included) to go and sit in a class for hours on end, sometimes 5-6 hours, sometimes 3 hours, with people who do not talk to me or are not my friends.

And in a class where this 1 guy tries to ridicule me and make fun of me, along with his friend group who cheers him.

I have connections/friends with people outside my degree, in other degrees in college, but they are not close friendships. They usually have not called or texted first as i've taken initiative. We run into campus, sometimes perform at music events in the college together, thats it.

How do I deal with being isolated in my class, sitting alone, everyday, as i hear sometimes(very often) people gossipping about me?

There is this group of girls which just keeps laughing for no reason, and i hear them take my name at times. They think i sit alone and dont pay attention to them but i hear them and they are like "he is so formal, he once texted me saying 'could you please send this'"

like wtf am i not supposed to be polite now.

Once I said "please" to a guy in class for something they again started laughing.

Its like every aspect of me is up for ridicule and mockery.

It affects me wanting to be a singer because to sing, you need to open up.

I can't open up if i've been mocked and ridiculed by boys my entire life so far and been so self-conscious about what people will think of me.

And I say EXCLUSIVELY boys. Girls have always been kind to me. Its so easy to befriend girls lol.

With guys I don't even feel like making friends anymore.

(not that I have any friends lol). I am going to graduate alone. Hopefully there are some people to take pictures with at graduation.

I just lost my dog. my PUPPY. They were young, they didn’t deserve that, there was nothing I could do. I say life’s fucking cruel becuase saying ‘i loved that dog’ would be an understatement. I really did love them, moments of silence would always end up being filled with their praise, ‘theyre such a good dog’ ’im so glad I adopted them, theyre so smart’ ect. It’s like a real fucking sick joke just becuase of the irony. And they was so young, I had plans.. new tricks I was going to teach them, places I wanted to take them, dogs and people I wanted them to meet. It’s not fair- they were and are SO loved I just can’t wrap my head around it. I couldn’t sleep and when I did I had the dream I didn’t want to have, they were back. And all i did knowing this was cuddle them more, pet them again, I was just happy with that. But then they were gone again, they are gone. It feels cruel to say it hurts more knowing there was nothing I could do,, they wasn’t sick, they wasn’t in pain or any pain she was in was quick. I wanted her to know they were loved, I really hope they did. I dont know how to grieve, i never did, but this hurts so bad- i know i cant stop moving and I know the world won’t either, but it’s so fucking sad man, it just it, I really loved them. And I don’t know what to do now, I just don’t know how to grieve, and I don’t want to hurt others by doing so. Everything makes me want to cry, but I know that would hurt others.

I just lost my dog. my PUPPY. They were young, they didn’t deserve that, there was nothing I could do. I say life’s fucking cruel becuase saying ‘i loved that dog’ would be an understatement. I really did love them, moments of silence would always end up being filled with their praise, ‘theyre such a good dog’ ’im so glad I adopted them, theyre so smart’ ect. It’s like a real fucking sick joke just becuase of the irony. And they was so young, I had plans.. new tricks I was going to teach them, places I wanted to take them, dogs and people I wanted them to meet. It’s not fair- they were and are SO loved I just can’t wrap my head around it. I couldn’t sleep and when I did I had the dream I didn’t want to have, they were back. And all i did knowing this was cuddle them more, pet them again, I was just happy with that. But then they were gone again, they are gone. It feels cruel to say it hurts more knowing there was nothing I could do,, they wasn’t sick, they wasn’t in pain or any pain she was in was quick. I wanted her to know they were loved, I really hope they did. I dont know how to grieve, i never did, but this hurts so bad- i know i cant stop moving and I know the world won’t either, but it’s so fucking sad man, it just it, I really loved them. And I don’t know what to do now, I just don’t know how to grieve, and I don’t want to hurt others by doing so. Everything makes me want to cry, but I know that would hurt others.

My sister is in a toxic relationship with her girlfriend who has now impeded the ability for us to work well as she has also managed to get a job working with us for a small business. She has restricted my sisters ability to speak with me, and very clearly doesn’t like me. She is not physically abusive she is mentally abusive and I think she has spun some sort of lie to keep my sister from speaking with me. I’m scared my sister believes her. Me and my sister are incredibly close so all of this is very frustrating and new to me. Should I calmly ask what is wrong? I have no intention of raising my voice nor to be petty and insulting. I don’t know what to do but I’ve had enough. Me and my sister only have each other as our parents have failed us hence our close relationship.

Any advice is welcome

So I had a group of for only a year back in 2022-2023. It’s almost been two years since this has happened. This might be long so stick with me.

I met a someone at the job I used to work at when I heard her(let’s call her A) talking about DnD and decided to chime in. The next day she came to my job and asked if I’d like to be part of her DnD group and I was over the moon because I don’t really have a lot of friends that I hang out with. I went to her house to create my character, met her husband(the DM. Let’s call him C) and their child, and then after everything was prepared I went to play with everyone that weekend. I was so nervous I brought a bottle of wine to calm my nerves but to also share. I fell in love with these people immediately. I finally felt like I belonged. I will say I had to let a couple people in the group down, letting them know I didn’t want to date anyone in the friend group because they have all known each other for years and if things went bad I would be the one leaving the group and I didn’t want that.

To show my love for my friends, I like to cook for them. I don’t cook often, but when I do I like to make a thing out of it by sharing it with people I really care about. So I had asked A and C if it was okay if I came over to make my favorite food to make for them. We made a whole thing of it. I got to know A and C very well and learned to love them pretty quickly. My conversations with them were just different. I loved talking with them, learning about them. And I loved their daughter to bits.

It’s dumb how feelings work. I developed what I thought was a silly crush on A. We would all joke about it as a group. Of course both A and C never made a big deal of it because they were secure in their marriage and it was only a silly crush. I kept it a secret when my feelings began to grow. Not just for A. But for C as well. We made light of my crush for A, but I never spoke up about my feelings for C. Because then it was real. So I squashed it. Buried it.

But down the line it seemed to me that maybe things could work out? Stupid, I know. And I’m a person who wears their heart on their sleeve and doesn’t know when to shut up. A went out of two for a few days and had asked the group to check up on C to give him company and make sure he was eating. She even asked me to do so. So I did. At some point he was on the phone with A and her and I were talking and he was making silly suggestive gestures which made me laugh and I scolded him for. Then we hung up and C talked to me about my feelings for A and I squeezed my eyes shut and blurted that it wasn’t just her that I liked. But both of them. After that, we had a long discussion. LONG. We sat in separate couches, I pulled my knees to my chest, and we just…talked. The conversation went from what I would want, what he would want, how we would need to discuss it with A, and we talked about how we could all be intimate. Inside, I was panicking, but I was just happy to talk to one of the people I had feelings for. And I was looking forward to bringing it up with A as well. The next day, I came over, and C and I had the discussion some more. The same thing. I sat on one couch, he sat on the other. Nothing happened, and we didn’t want anything to happen until we talked about it with A.

Now I know what you all are thinking. Why not just wait until A gets back and talk about it then? I didn’t think that far ahead. I didn’t plan to say anything. It just happened. The words came out. And I was hopeful. Stupidly hopeful. I just had to wait for C to talk to A, and then we could all have this discussion together. But that didn’t happen. I don’t know how the conversation went between A and C, but A wasn’t happy. And I don’t blame her. She thought I was trying to sleep with him while she was out of town. And I wish she could understand that wasn’t my intention at all. But I understand why she would think that way.

We went from friends one day, to her cutting me out of their life the very next. It hurt, but I understood. And as much as I wanted to explain, I knew that the explanation wouldn’t matter. My heart was broken, but I blame no one but myself.

Most of the people in the rest of the group still talk to me after I’d explained everything to them. I told them everything and said I would understand if they didn’t want to be friends anymore either. And surprisingly, I still have some friends.

Idk what everyone is going to say to this, what everyone will accuse me of, but that’s okay. I know what was in my heart, what is true. And I will always regret saying anything. Because it made me lose people I care about.

TLDR; I grew feelings for a married couple, confessed my feelings while wife was out of town, and lost a great friendship because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and wait for her to come back home.

Because I had my first pregnancy on my own without a partner with me, without my family who emotionally abused me .then having my baby but having to put her in care at 3 months old and at that time telling my family what happened and still my baby is in care at 15 months

I should be ashamed of myself for not telling my family I was pregnant I could have avoided this but I’m angry at them for abusing me and kicking me out of home in the first place leading to more trauma

I’m always going to feel sadness that I didn’t have a positive first pregnancy experience or even family involvement like the marjority of other people

I should just end my life so I don’t have to feel this guilt and shame and not have to constantly compare myself anymore I’ll never get better the feeling will never go away no matter how much therapy I have

I am 20M, and my sister is in her late 20's. She is in a relationship with a man, and they love each other.

My parents are unhappy with the fact that the guy's family is from a lower economic standing. They appreciate that the guy is earning well for himself and is in a field of work that is only going to grow from here. But the family is not so well-off.

They have grown up in a small house, with less money, in a not-so-posh part of a city in India(We stay in a really posh area, for context).

Guy is also from a different caste. I think my parents are okay to let the caste slide but the family's low economic standing becomes a problem.

The guy's family is also very religious, while we are not.

They don't eat non-veg or drink liqour.

We occassionally do.

My family's relatives are all doing well financially.

Inter religion and inter caste marriages have taken place in my family, of course. But the financial condition/economic standing was not as low as this guy's family.

My sister and the guy will also move to a different country for a few years, before returning to India to settle.

My parents are worried that my sister will have to live with the guy's parents for a long time(if it ever happens) and they may not get along due to stated "problems".

What do I do?

My sister is in love and is not willing to see other guys. I support her.

But my parents are not happy with this.

I understand their viewpoints and respect their concern, but since my sister is okay with all these differences, its her choice as an adult.

And obviously she's my elder sister, i support her.

What do I do? I just turned 20, i have no experience in dealing with this until now.

Thank you for taking the time to read and write your suggestions:)

My neighbor is 70 years old and just lost her leg recently and asks me for help often which I don’t mind but she keeps saying I hope you don’t think I’m coming on to you and gives me hugs and my hand always ends up on her breast and she answers the door in her underwear what should I do try something or tell her to stop

Have you ever wished you left your hometown? After graduating university I wish I would have left but now in the process of leaving. Do you ever wish you left? If you didn't what held you back?

So now I'm left feeling even worse. I'm not single because I know I'm better off, I'm single because no one wants me, and never will.

I hate that I fell for him so bad. I hate that I deluded myself for so long. I will never tell them, but I gently am a little resentful that my friends encouraged me. It's not their fault, they were trying to boost me up, but without their encouragement I never would've thought it possible, and so I wouldn't have ever even entertained the thought.

Now I'm away, and it feels even worse. Not in a stalker way, lol, just... I dunno. I can't really explain it. I suppose it's kinda just reinforcing the point. When I'm closer to him, I can maybe find a way to convince myself that maybe if things changed... but of course they won't. Why would they? And even if they did, he wouldn't waste his time with me. Why would he?

But being so far away takes away even that final wisp of comfort. That possibility that made me feel microscopically hopeful. And now I'm far away, and it reinforces the uselessness of it all.

I will die alone. I know this. I've always known it. I just wish I wouldn't. I wish I was good enough for a good man. I wish I could have him. I wish so many things.

Wishing for them is like wishing my relative will survive. They won't. So we just need to accept it. Why can I accept them dying, but not the fact I'm gonna be alone forever? It's an inevitability. As immutable as taxes and death. But still I fought against it.

Never again. Never again will I let myself feel like this. Next time I have a stupid crush, I'll be sure to keep it to myself. I can't deal with this again. That hope shattering. I can't.

My little girl cat has come onto my bed the last few nights to lie down with me for a bit when it’s time for bed. This is kind of a big deal, because normally she isn’t big on being picked up or manhandled. But, she lets me love on her and purrs very loudly.

My old boy used to do the same thing, very regularly. He passed before I met her, but I wonder if there is still enough of him here to tell her how much it means to me.

Most of the girls I was gathering statements from to report a man who has been inappropriate with women/underage girls for years have asked to be left out of it or not be named. I’m just so tired of this situation and I was really looking forward to it ending, but with so many people dropping out of the documentation I feel like it’s not going to be taken as seriously. And currently this man is still working with underage girls.

That is all, I’m sorry for being vague but I don’t want to alert anyone before I officially report it. I’m just so disappointed that I will be doing this on my own.

lil backstory: I had driven an 18 wheeler to 47 of the 48 contiguous states and never as much as tapped another car, or object and then I move to my current city and within 2 months had 2 wrecks. Neither were my fault but being involved shook me up.

So I know that's part of it. I also, at that point in my life, I depended on my car for money so going being my full time moneymaker to wrecking that, and then wrecking the replacement made it a much bigger deal.

But a year later, I finally got a new car. I have a job that doesn't depend on wheels and all was good, then one NIGHT ONE, the very first night. I got it stolen, right from in front of my house.

It was recovered but now I simply have no desire to drive or leave the house to be honest but that's another post for another time... But it's almost like someone stealing it, tainted the car and I can't even get in it. Can't even look at it.

I've had the money to get it repaired for over a year now. And paying money every month for a car I can't use is crazy, and trust me people remind me lol. It's like the idea of being outside, in that car is horrifying. Not in a jolting kinda way, but in a "I can't reasonably run to target in my car because it will 100 percent be stolen...and I know that's absurd but it's always there...

Is there a reason why can't I shake this shit???

I am absolutely devastated.

I live and work abroard, i have done for over 10 years now. Christmas is usually the only time I go home to see family, and Christmas in my home country (UK) feels so much more special than where I live (Spain).

I have been off work for 4 weeks recovering after a spontaneous pneumothorax and collapsed lung, which is scary for anyone to have to deal with, but even more so in a foreign country without family close by.

I was told that to recover enough to fly, it can take 4 to 5 weeks. I knew I would be cutting it fine for the flight I booked back in August, but it has been something to hope for, a light at the end of the tunnel. Well, despite making excellent progress with my recovery, my doctor won't authorise me safe for flying due to a rule change with medical leave. I am heartbroken. I was really hoping to spend time with family, I need it for my mental health after spending a month worrying, but it's not meant to be.

I needed to get it off my chest how disappointed I am.

(Sorry in advance for the long text, I had to get it all out)

So there's this girl that lives a city away from me, we met online and we've been texting and sending each other funny and flirty videos for a year now. We're both slow when it comes to opening up to someone, and she told me that she rarely likes someone which is exactly how I felt. I thought we were hitting it off as we had literally SO MUCH in common, both creative people, artists, similar humor, and likes/dislikes. It seemed like we were meant for each other from my perspective.

She has asked before to go watch a movie with her a year ago, but at that time we were just getting to know each other and I wasn't really sure about her. I was talking to other people and didn't realize how much we connected at that point so I never did go see her. But we'd still be in contact regularily, sharing reels to each.

Fastforward to last month she seemed really into me, often sending me pictures of herself sometimes slightly explicit, gym pictures as I'm really into the gym and she started going cos of me, and the sexual tension was high. She asked me to go see her, and since we had connected so much more now, I decided to take my chances. I told her and she was really excited, we decided to watch a movie then go eat something, spontaneous date as I didn't know the city, she seemed really excited about it.

I went on a 2 trip hour trip back and forth, we spent a good time seeing a movie and went to have a meal together where we talked a lot about various things. I felt very comfortable with her like I knew her for a long time. To me it seemed like the date went well.

Before I had to go back home I felt like the vibes were good, I told her that I'll miss her and she smiled replied with "me too" and high fived me? It was awkwad but cute. She said she has a friend in my city who she can stay with next time she comes to visit me. I asked to walk her home before leaving but she insisted that I get a taxi to the station since it's not safe around, and that I didn't need to worry about her as she'll just grab a nearby taxi. So I got a taxi and gave her a goodbye hug and waved her goodbye, we both seemed very happy.

But ever since I went home she's been really cold on text, taking too long to respond or flat out ignoring some of my texts but still sending me reels? I felt something was off, but she has a history of not being a good texter so I brushed it off. I asked what's wrong she said she's been sick so she's not feeling well, which was true judging from her voice. I said I understand and she seemed better a few days later, things seemed to go back closer to normal, but she stopped sending me any pictures of her. I asked her when I can see her again and she said "honestly idkk", I assumed she was going through a hard time with being sick and having her period (she always tells me).

We kept texting as usual talking about movies and whatnot but she stopped sending pictures of her. And a few days ago I decided to just flat out ask her when she's free so I can see her. She stopped responding? and it ticked as a seen message. All this while she's liking my instagram stories?? I ended up double texting 2 days later and asking if she's around? no response. (funny how she had posted once about ghosting people and I said "Don't" she replied with "I won't do it to you".

I assume she was just not feeling the spark IRL that she felt online? But can't I at least get closure? I would much rather she tell me flat out that she was not feeling me rather than just disappearing leaving so many questions unanswered?

This really took a tole on me emotionally, as I was too invested in this, it's something I tend to do but never learn from for some reason? I was ready to build a life with her tbh. And I rejected many girls who were into me to focus on her, but I don't even get a text back to say we're done?

Tbh I'm so done with all this dating BS, it always ends in heartbreak, everytime I take that gamble I end up regretting it. Can I not be in a happy relationship for once? All my friends seem to be having a much better luck than me, it almost feels like I'm cursed? I'm not even ugly and I consider myself a decent person?

I hate complaining but I feel I need to do this or else I will just pop.

When I was 15 I moved to my father because my mother was physically and mentally abusive. My sister decided to stay with our mother and become a walking early 2000s talk show setlist but that's a story of its own. My father's partner moved in with him and brought her own children. I will call them my parents later on. Other than in some blogs we mixed pretty well as a patchwork family and while not 100% harmonious we did well.

Christmas became surprisingly good for me. In my previous living situation, it was the time when you had to be especially careful or else you got yelled at and beaten with household utensils. If you cleaned your room "wrong" you got a beating and were sent away so my mother could clean it the "right" way and go through your stuff. Christmas changed after moving. Preparations were a lot more relaxed and there was no shouting or beating. Christmas eve had a program now that was not just about food and presence. After my father's partner and her children returned from church we would enter the room with the present and the tree and before opening them there would be cards from family friends been read, one always sends a Christmas story that is also read, and then one of the children was to give the presents to everyone. After all the presents were opened and some talking, there was food and games. On the second day, we would have breakfast together and then everyone did their own thing until we met in the afternoon to visit a restaurant. A little corny but I liked it very much and developed the "I like Christmas not for the gifts but for spending time with my family" mentality.

During adulthood, some dynamics changed and some people moved away or became more nomadic. I got diagnosed with depression and went into therapy, I do way better but the sessional variation clings to me like dogshit. and I went back to hating Christmas again. I never really understood why until this year.

I feel invisible.

Around six years ago I was diagnosed with an unfortunate combination of allergies. Cow Milk protein, chicken protein ( the meat and the egg) and soy. I don't balloon or choke, but I will have incredibly painful colics and get "drunk" meaning I do lose orientation, self-preservation, and the ability to make safe decision making. Driving is one of the worst things I could do in this situation. After it sank in I could not eat in a normal restaurant or cafe my parents completely stopped calling me up to go to drink a coffee or tea, something that we did at least once a month before. When I visit them during dinner time, I either get some tomatoes with red onions, oil and vinegar, or nothing at all because they have nothing in the house for me. In the six years, while my godmother finds a new dish I can eat every week when I visit her, they only remembered that I can eat a certain kind of hot dog brand and that's it. They have smartphones and access to the internet. They can visit the same sides as I do and are still asking what my allergies are. This Christmas is the first time they looked into which restaurant I can visit. Still, I have yet to call the restaurant and talk with them about my allergies. My friends keep my allergies in mind and even cook for me separately. Our secretary at work makes sure the Christmas treats I get are stuff I can eat and even almost threw herself between me and our new boss because he was about to give me the wrong parcel.

I tried to invite them to dinner at my house, cook for them or just talk over coffee/tea it worked two times when they showed up with my niece. And it is not that they do this with the other's as well. I often hear how my sister had dinner with them so much that they got annoyed because she wanted bbq and it was exploding their food bill. They talk how they went by or met the others with their families and had tea or coffee, and visited an exhibition. Months later I get to hear: "We thought you might have liked it too." But it's not that they call me in time when it's still open.

This year was especially bad for me.

Two years ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis in addition to my already established pcos. I got told if I want children I should be fast about it. The thing is I do want one. I am an aromatic asexual, so I have no idea what even to do with a partner but I do want to be a mother. Not just a mother but a good mother, that's one of the reasons I went to therapy for so long. I found a fertility clinic and a sperm bank that had a donor and put away money for three treatments. I have to pay for all of this out of pocket since I am not married. After three failed inseminations we moved to IVF, off which I could afford 1 treatment. I had already massively overspent on my initial savings and the prognosis of: Well it does look all well and should go pretty good with you. no longer inspired optimism. During the IVF treatment, I learned that even with a partner I would need IVF to conceive. And on the day one of five possible eggs was scheduled to be implanted, I got a call that all of them had stagnated in their development and none was viable. My parents were the only one in the family that knew I was on this journey and I called my father that this last attempt had failed and I would not have children. It was a short call in which he told me he was sorry and had been excited for the baby. and maybe we both had been a little bit too excited. And that's it. His partner called the next day to tell me how sad she was about this. Which was fine and I was grateful for nut than came the solutions: When I was done grieving I could find something else to put my energy in. Followed by a list of things I have 0 interest in or I already am doing and this gem: "You could voluntarily work at a counselling hotline and help people with real problems."

It's like they stopped listening to me years ago. They did not realize I am in no pictures until I told them and then they were shocked. Most interactions are initiated by me. 'Hey, this movie came out and is not shit. Do you want to see it?' Two months after the failed IVF treatment I got 1 message where I was asked how I am doing and when I answered that I did not good I got the answer. "Still?" They are radio silent until I met up with them and then they show me pictures of their grandchildren and all the things they are up to. And when I try to tell them I could need some help they look at me with this pitied look and tell me about the things I could do to make me feel better. ( What about adoption? Did you start therapy again? Well then I don't know either.)

I have friends who do care and ask about me but it just hurt that my family seems to forget about me at every twist and turn. I had no good months this year. Nothing feels as it should. I should have or prepare to have a child. I should not randomly start to cry during every hour of the day, have spurs of insomnia, spiked blood pressure and depression. And next week the same people who can be there for the family members who are loud and healthy will sit around reading a Christmas story about caring for each other and charity. Merry fucking christmas.

I’ve just finished school in Australia a month ago and my results were disastrous, I was expected to go and do decent sized things in my family not massive but still yh. I right now so wished I could’ve tried harder. I dream of getting into a great university someday but my biggest issue is my laziness. I hate myself at the moment and just beed advice whether it’s what pathways I should take to get into the top universities in the world, or how to stop being lazy. I want to look back to this moment in 20 years time and be rich and happy.

TLDR: This year, I found out my sister had been using my identity to open a number of credit cards and loans under my name without my knowledge. I ended up with $15K+ in debt that I had to repay.

It started with an unexpected phone call on a random Saturday afternoon. I was at the gym, when someone called, mad at me for not paying a credit card debt. I thought, Which credit card debt? I only have two, and I always pay them off before the due date.

Growing up with parents who struggled financially made me hypervigilant about my money. I rarely take out loans, and when I do, I make sure they’re paid off on time. I work hard to earn more, have built an emergency fund in a HYSA, and invest a huge chunk of my income in a diversified portfolio.

After digging into this mystery debt, I found out the billing address was my sister's (she lives in a different city than the one I was in). I called my parents, who were visiting her, to ask what was going on. What followed was ugly—they found a bunch of credit cards under my name in her purse, along with my national ID card and driver’s license that I thought I’d lost years ago.

I went through every stage of grief while dodging debt collectors who somehow got my personal phone number. They found my social media accounts and made threats about hurting my fiancé and even my pets!!

I tried getting legal help, but since she owns nothing of value, there was nothing to sue for. My parents begged me not to go to the police because they didn’t want to see her separated from her newborn. So, in the end, I paid every cent myself. She apologised eventually, but honestly, it doesn’t change anything.

I wanted to write this as part of my closure. This year wasn’t just about this nightmare, though. I hit my investment goals, saw new parts of the world, and got engaged to the love of my life. But I’ve learned that life isn’t fair. Being kind or responsible doesn’t guarantee you’ll get the same in return. Sometimes, it just is what it is.

I have seen a lot of women on the internet talking about how men and women seem to have different concepts of beauty and how a girl that is consider really pretty by women can be consider as ugly by men. I've had this on my mind for a couple months now because not a single boy as ever been interested in me ever, and even worst I have been call ugly by some of them, and I've had at least three different girls show interest, even two of them asked me to be their girlfriend directly. The problem here is that I have a clear preference for men (which are usually very "manly" lets say), I don't see myself dating a woman and my family is very conservative which means that even if I were to date one they would freak out. This just makes me feel like I'm going do die alone, especially because I have some family that has never dated anyone and I'm really similar to them (both physically and in personality). I know it's stupid, I'm barely 18 but I still see a relationship as something that could only ever happen in my mind.

I (f, 21) am madly in love with my best friend’s (f, 21) boyfriend (m, 22) and I feel like such an awful person and the worst friend ever. Believe me I have tried to get over these feelings and ignore them but I can’t, my feelings are too strong for this guy. My friend, let’s call her Kelly, has been dating her boyfriend, let’s call him Jason, for 8 months and I met him about 6 months ago. When I first met him I found him physically attractive but as I spent more time with him I started to fall in love with him and it pains me so much that he is with my best friend. Kelly and I have always spent a lot of time together and that hasn’t changed now she’s with him, it just means that now when we hang out he tends to be with her too which just makes things a whole lot worse. He is the most sweet, caring and attractive guy I have ever met. Kelly adores him and frequently talks about how much she loves him and how happy he makes her, which makes me feel really jealous as well as depressed inside. It makes me even more upset and frustrated when she talks about how great their sex life is.

I’m also sure Jason feels the same way about me because I’ve caught him looking at me and checking me out a few times and he’s also been pretty flirty and touchy with me at times when Kelly isn’t in the room. Another time he touched my leg when Kelly was sitting beside him on her phone. We have each other on Snapchat and have a snap streak with each other and he’s sent me shirtless snaps from his bed multiple times. I’ve snapped him a few times of me in lingerie but we have never exchanged nudes. We both love and care for Kelly and would never want to hurt her but there’s an undeniable spark between us that’s becoming harder and harder to ignore. I cry all the time about this situation because I feel like the worst friend for feeling this but I can’t help the way I feel. 90% of what I think about is him and I find myself making any excuse to go and see Kelly whenever she’s with him just so I can see him. A part of me wants to start distancing myself from him but another part of me is screaming not to because I don’t think I could live without seeing him. I don’t want to lose either of them.

19m It’s just not there’s no point I want to fix everything so bad but I just can’t I just can’t do anything no matter how badly I want to this is absolutely CRIPPLING life just isn’t for me unfortunately there’s no point once I’m kicked out of uni I’m just gonna hang myself

This is a reminder to you that I am one of those who are willing to listen to your story without any judgement or invalidating it. I do not know what you are going through right now, and I do not know how to make you feel better. But I want you to know that I am willing to sit with you somewhere, and we can talk about what you feel until your chest no longer feels heavy. You can share your pain with me, and I will do my best to understand you. But if ever I fail to understand, I hope you know that I will still listen to you untiringly because I know that you deserve to be heard. You deserve to express all those feelings that you've been keeping deep in your heart for a very long time. And no matter how heavy those feelings are, I want you to know that they are important.

I cried today because life just got too overwhelming for me. It's little things that accumulate one by one until I couldn't hold it and I cried so hard just to get the stress off my shoulders.

I cried with my mom, just bawling my eyes out. I didn't say out loud why I was crying because my mom knew what stressed me out. Anytime I got angry or sad I texted her right away, so she knew why I cried even when I didn't tell her the reason during our calls. Some other people heard me crying and told my friends I cried because a trivial stuff. I mean, she was assuming that I cried over trivial stuff (eg: the parcel containing clothes that I ordered online was stolen by someone)

I don't think that's 'trivial' but my friend just said 'you cried because of unarrived clothes?' with tone as if she's asking 'like.... seriously?'

Then what the hell am I suppose to say to that? If I want to cry because today rains, then you shut up and just let me cry. If I want to cry because my bus arrived late, then let me be. What does my tears have to do with you? Ffs that pissed me off. I didn't even cry because of that in the first place but that just pissed me off. So if there wasn't any big disaster happening in my life, then I shouldn't cry? Why am I getting shamed from crying? Damn I'm pissed.

Please bear in mind it has always been like this. We share room, people will know I cry and I have no problem with that. Though, I don't see the need to tell everyone (who are not sharing the room with me) that I cried? People handle stress differently. Why me, who didn't bother anyone, just crying to my own mother getting shamed? What the hell man...

Quick rant - not looking for advice but for people who have been in similar situations.

I (f30) have been with my bf (m34) for 2 years. We moved in together 6 months ago and it was all good.

We had an understanding that we would go 50/50 on chores and bills until we decided to have a child (as I would be putting my body, career and life on the line he would obviously need to make up for his lack of risk by contributing more around the house and monetary). Because of this I believed we had an understanding on how we believed partnership should work.

2 months ago he got a slight promotion and pay bump, which meant we adjusted our cut of the bills to reflect that. But somehow he’s comes to expect me to then take up the chores at home. It started with small things that I knew he could do like dishes and laundry and escalated to sitting down all weekend watching me do my half and leaving his half of the chores to accumulate.

He blamed it on the stress and added workload, but we’re both corporate and work at our desks regardless. I would be more understanding if his job was more physically demanding.

It got to a breaking point when I noticed mould in the pots he was meant to clean (if either of us cooks, it’s the others responsibility to clean). He just kept the lid on it so that i wouldn’t notice. I needed to take a day off work to catch up with all the cleaning he neglected. The last straw was when he came home without groceries, despite it being his week. Usually when either of us is too tired to do groceries, we let the other know in advance so we can at least order in food.

I told him we need to add a cleaner to the bills if he’s not happy doing chores anymore, because I refuse to do them if he’s isn’t contributing fairly too. He made an excuse about not wanting a stranger in our flat. I then said we’d need to begin ordering groceries deliverers for the extra cost too if he can no longer be bothered and he called me frivolous with money.

So I suggested that I would be happy to take up these responsibilities. But it would mean I drop my working days from 5 to 4, and I would expect to be compensated for the sacrifice I’m taking to my own career so he can “focus on his responsibilities”. Because apparently they matter more than my own. And I would also expect to be paid an hourly rate for doing the chores at the average market salary for a housekeeper.

He seemed so surprised and shocked I’d suggest that and didn’t know how to reply despite having an answer for everything I said before. I started to feel like he was trying to manipulate me into a situation that was more ideal to him and less ideal to me. And if he loved me, he wouldn’t be doing that. So I asked him if his friends put him up to do this, because I knew they all struggled to keep gfs and he said a “proper woman would be happy to look after the house”. And called me a gold digger.

I was shocked, because I wasn’t asking for designer items, I was asking for fair compensation for my labour especially seeing as it would dent my own career to take on all this work. So I called him a gold digger for wanting a private chef and housekeeper for free. I was admittedly angry at this point and also told him to stop being so proud of his promotion if he was too broke to afford a chef and cleaner and instead tries to manipulate the woman he loves to do it for free (not really for free because taking a day off from my salary means I’ll be paying for the privilege to clean up after him out of pocket)

I told him he was dragging me down when we were supposedly meant to build each other up equitably. The flat is his, so when he was ignoring me after the fight, I started packing. He told me I would see sense, but I didn’t bother. I started to feel embarrassed that I didn’t notice he was like this, and wasted 2 years to build up to this let down. As I packed my car I said as much and told him to not contact me.

I blocked him everywhere and he’s now sending our mutual friends messages and voice notes to forward to me. My friends have been mostly on my side, seeing him as a bit pitiful, and I can see that. One of the male friends we have in common mentioned that he’s been watching podcasts recently about masculinity and I have a feeling this is where he got the idea to stall my future and put me under his foot to only serve his dreams and goals. I feel angry the more I think about it. He loved those podcasts men’s ideas more than he loved me and now he expects me to feel sorry that he can’t afford the rent without my contribution. But I believe he still thinks I’m the gold digger for not accepting an unfair division of effort and labour.

If this has happened to any other women, how did you address it? I’m annoyed I let it trickle and accumulate for 2 months before addressing.

Moving forward I won’t enter a relationship without having this outlined at the dating stage. I’m in my 30s now and don’t want to deal with men expecting free women labour because society makes them believe it’s worthless in comparison to what they do.

PS - sorry for my wonky English I am from a European country that isn’t the UK 😂

EDIT: Thank you for the overwhelming support. I see so many people have gone through the same thing and it makes me feel less angry that I found myself in this situation!

I wanted to explain a few points that came up a lot:

1. He created an excel spreadsheet that calculated based on income how we can fairly contribute. When his pay increased, he paid more monthly(€80), and also had €400 extra monthly disposable income. If this is what soured him, I suppose he should’ve mentioned because it was his system, not mine.

2. We did not keep a tally. We had favourite chores, he likes to vaccum, I like to put dishes away. Sometimes he is sick, does overtime, or isn’t in the mood, I would happily do it. Same with him for me. I only started to tally when a pattern emerged. It would be stupid to not take notice when he is consistently leaving things to me silently as if expecting me to silently sort it out. The mould was disgusting. The groceries were just the straw that broke the camels back. I exhausted after only 2 months of picking up the slack mentally and physically. Couldn’t imagine doing it without serious reconsiderations to our dynamic.

3. We discussed children because we both agreed we wanted the relationship to head in that direction, not because we were ready now. I would not have spent 2 years with a man if our future ideas didn’t align. It’s okay if someone changes their mind later, but communication is important.

4. He listened to these podcasts in secret - I had no idea. And we usually share the entertainment we consumed together, silly videos and films.

I like to be alone. I’m a very sensitive person, so being in friend groups never suited me. Doing something on someone else’s agenda annoys me to the point that I get moody if I’m not home by a certain time.

But I also want to have friends. I want to make memories and have a good time and take photos that I’d show my kids. I just can’t bring myself to do that.

And I’m realizing that I’m very controlling about my time. If I want to be alone, that’s all I focus on without care of other people’s feelings. ie. It’s the middle of winter break and I’m still not going home from college even though my parents are trying to make me comfortable — but it’s all because I dont have any space for myself there. My room is taken up by a family member, so I’d have to room with my mom and she’s overbearing.

They want me to be with them, but I keep refusing. The same with friends. Prioritizing my alone time is costing me a social life, and also keeping me from nurturing my friendships and relationships

Like the title says. For example, just earlier after saying it was just a misunderstanding that he said something insulting to my mother (he said he actually said it to himself but we just didn't hear right and that we should get our hearing checked) he started saying things like feminism is useless and stupid and that I should get used to this kind of behaviour from men as a woman and so many other hurtful things like how he could beat my mother because he is stronger, but was again playing it off as a joke, seemingly making fun of men that think this way, afterward saying more mean things when I started crying and he again said how I should get used to it because feminism won't change anything as this is how men are. After a while, he just... left. Saying that we can't take a joke.

I am so hurt. By him and by the fact that maybe I should have handled the situation better, if he indeed was joking... I just keep crying and my head hurts.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rant, I hope you have a nice day!

I despise owning one. If it were up to me I would have rehomed her, but that isn’t my choice. I live with my dad and she’s my dad’s dog. We got her during July of this year. At first it was actually kinda cool but now I hate it. She has some sort of stomach infection so she needs special care. She smells all the fucking time. I feel disgusted after petting her. My hand STINKS!! I hate having to give her walks. And she fucking farts all the time due to having a stomach issue. I hate having a dog and I can’t do it. I’ve never been a dog person myself. My dad has even talked about getting a cat but no, he wanted a dog. There’s always dog hair all over my clothes no matter how much I wash them. I am literally disgusted everytime I see her. I don’t hate her but I don’t enjoy having her. I would NEVER abuse her but I don’t pay attention to her. She always want to be around people too. How do I get over this??? I’ve been losing my mind these past few months. It’s been driving me to fucking insanity and my dad pays more attention to her than me.

I recently started an OF, not as a creator but as a consumer and I started to realize so many things, good and bad.

I also started to realize that I'm a lot more lonely than I thought. Talking to these models made me feel good and like shit at the same time. God these models are beautiful, but they would never give me the light of day if money wasn't involved or outside of OF. The deeper reasoning why I feel lonely is that I'm staring to realize I want different things in life but I'm too scared to chase it. Freedom? A change in my life? Running away from reality? A whole list of those thoughts... and then while I have those thoughts, models are messaging me through their automated systems and I get happy but sad. They don't really wanna talk to me they just want money, but no duh that's the name of the game. Fml.

I have a group of 4 guy friends and now a girl, Katy, has been added to it, well more like I got replaced which is fine cause obviously friend preferences change over time.

But here's the problem. Katy used to talk to me before like wave at me and we'd have conversations but after joining the group she stopped talking to me completely and would only talk if she needed something or only when I would make conversations (but that becomes super dry in no time). This made it so awkward for me to even talk to her, but when I poke to her separately saying how things had become awkward in between us and if there's anything that hurt her she could let me know so that I'd apologize properly she said i that I didn't do anything but mentally she wasn't feeling good so that's why It would've seemed that way and that day she put the efforts to start the conversation twice and that's it after that again back to square 1. It's okay if she's like that with everyone but I observed that she's only done it to me and she's completely fine when she talks to the guys.

Now Katy has a best friend in the group, john. John was a nice friend to me but when Katy joined,John would just speak to me like a very close friend only when she's not there. When she is around there's no way he would even bother about my existence. I don't even mind that they are close but I just ask for basic respect which both of them are not giving. Now both of them pretend that I don't exist until they need something from me.

An incident happened where the group was talking about something and I joined in and they said something that I didn't understand so I just asked what do you mean I didn't get it and John just rudely said that Katy understood it so why are you bothered about it. That just hurt me so much. This is just one of the incidents.

my dilemma here is that I want to cut off John and Katy because this has been feeling very toxic. Issue is that if I do it then all the other friends are obviously gonna take John's side cause they've been closer friends than I am and I don't want to lose good friends just because of some things that these people did. And like I said whenever Katy is not there John goes back to the same old good friend.

I've just been crying and my head starts to feel like it'll burst from all this thinking but it's so hard to ignore these feelings and the way you've been treated. I just have no idea what to do.

Tldr: girl friend and one of the guy friends talk only when they need something otherwise im ignored. I don't know whether to cut them off or bear with them in order to not lose other friendships.

(edit didn't mean to say lifestyle)

Posting from a throw away because i don't want to stress out my partner with how I'm feeling There is one mention of something nsfw at the bottom but it's mostly pg

Ok sorry this may be a bit long, tmi and definitely a little stupid but hey it's my first post and I can't just scream it out so here we go.

Guess I'll start at the beginning of this mess so 20m work at a pretty popular tire shop and it's and extremely physically taxing job but it pays enough, in early October my boss took us from a 3 10 hour days and 1 5-7 hour day week to a 5 5-8 hour days a week which was rough but I obviously kept working until on the 25th a Friday i woke up with the usual stiff back until about 10 it started hurting until almost the end of the day i get sent home because it hurt so bad i cant walk where I could barely walk spend the night hoping it'll go away overnight, the next day I go in still in pain and tell my boss i cant do my usual work so he sends me home to start the medical leave process so I do so and start looking for a chiropractor during this time my pain grows to a point I can't even roll over without help i finally get a chiropractor appointment and pay out of pocket for (mind you i can't exactly remember those 3-4 days because 1 they were 3 months ago and 2 the amount of pain I was in kinda makes everything a blur so my recounting might be a little off but this all happened in 1-3 days) and the chiropractor says my disks are slipping but he does help the pain a bit then my hr calls me saying asking a bunch of questions and such until the end where she mentions this isn't work related so I quickly learn that my boss had told hr that this wasn't work related and I'm just needing leave which is very much not the truth I'm not running a steel mill out of my back yard so with that out of the way I get sent to workmans comp.

So after a day or to of waiting I get an update and workmans comp has me file a bunch of paperwork and go to urgent care to they give me some painkillers and muscle relaxers then another few days pass and I get a doc appointment with occupational medicine he says I've probably pulled or torn a muscle and wants to start me into pt, at this point it's been almost 2 weeks and I only got a paycheck from my work well the hour before my pt on a wensday afternoon work comp calls me and says they have denied my claim so I cancel my pt because I can not afford it out of pocket and get ahold of my hr who says they'll put a appeal through for me, 2 days pass and it's still denied so now they flop me back to a short term disability leave and I start the paperwork all over again.

So now I'm working with solely hr and scrambling to figure out how to get any payment at all because my partner 20 needs gas to get to class for college as well as bills on top of my radiator blew so i need to pay for a new one and I've got nothing left, they tell me a insurance company will pay 10% my S.T.D. should pay 37-60% and a colorado program should pay something else (of my weekly wage) but it's still a new program so we don't know much about it, so I do as much paperwork as I can and now have to wait a week before I can see my doc to finish paperwork lucky i get in to see him sooner than expected which was the 27th of November and he puts in a referral to pt, I have now gone 4 weeks without pay and my credit cards are getting scary just to hear that the doctors appointment and everything i just did was just for that 10% which happenes to be a whopping $43.10 and now I will actually be only getting paid that and through the colorado fmla and the fmla program has a 30 period and after that 30 day period you have to have "good cause" for being late so I go through that and give as much information as I can, now learning that even the 10% has been sent through the mail and will take 10 days to get to me so week 5 goes buy with little word and a little more paperwork and I finally get my 10% and a few days later my winter bonus which barely pays the minimums on everything thank God.

Now this starts a few days ago during this my patner has been selling on discord like an onlyfans to pay for gas and low and behold now some dude decides to go psychotic and blackmail and harass them on everything we are talking multiple accounts across multiple platforms saying he has their address he'll r@pe them and send pictures to thier family and friends and gives out thier information to as many people as he can so dozens of people add my partner and harasses them we do everything we can we block change names online call the cops everything but this dude will no back off and I can't say a word to him otherwise it may make things worse and I'm going insane because there's not a god damn thing I can do to fix it, luckily (and ivr been asked to keep details private so we'll just call them guy) we know guy who's cyber and computer smart and he's able to get account shut down and help us a bit but we still have no name and nothing to go off of so my partner is doing all they can to figure out who this is and stall until we get something to give to the cops although we don't think he's gonna do anything at this point so that's a bit of stress off.

And that all leads to tonight I can barely sleep and I look at my phone to see my fmla has been denied I just don't know what to do it feels like I've been fucked at every turn my job won't let me back until the doc oks me which won't happen until pt helps me but I can't pay for the pt, I could quit and try to find another job but i have no way to get there right now until I get may car fixed but I can't work on it with my back still giving me problems and it feels like there's nothing I can do to help my patner so I'm sitting here on the verge of just breaking down because I'm so fucking drained and I have nowhere left to run but hey I'll figure it out I hope.

Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.