I [F16] woke up feeling really weird. My stomach was all twisted up, and I just couldn't shake this feeling that something was wrong. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks—my period was late. Panic set in real quick.

As I lay there, my mind was all over the place. I kept thinking about the past few weeks and all the guys I'd been with. It was like a blur of late nights and bad decisions. Now, faced with maybe being pregnant, I felt super guilty.

Tears started welling up as I thought about the mess I'd gotten myself into. I didn't even know who the dad could be, and that scared the heck out of me. Plus, I didn't have a stable job or a steady relationship, so the idea of having a kid was overwhelming.

(TW: Sexual abuse)

Initially I was going to make this about my whole life, but I decided against writing that short novel for now. In this post I just want to focus on my experience with women, or more so the lack therein. This may not really seem like a confession, but I'm not the type of person to genuinely complain about my life and I've never talked about my problems. Very few people in my life know that I have this struggle and not a single person aside from myself knows how deep it goes. I need to let it out.

In a few days I will have officially been single for ten years. I don't just mean single as in not having dated anyone either. No hook-ups, no intimate physicality. It has gotten to the point where something as simple as a girl putting her hand on my shoulder while she was leaning past me made me anxious, uncomfortable and nearly made me panic. Thankfully I'm really good at keeping my composure.

Nearly ten years ago I had a relationship, my first real relationship. Lost my virginity, she was the first girl I had ever kissed or held hands with, or rather she was the first I had these experiences with consensually. I had it in my head growing up that I wanted to only ever be with one woman, sadly things quickly fell apart with that girlfriend which I had waited twenty years to get. Looking back now I realize what an absolute clown I was. Sure we weren't a perfect couple, but it was my romantic inexperience that ultimately killed the relationship. I didn't have any idea what I was doing or how to properly treat a girlfriend. We split up after only about 3 months. It has been a long time since I have looked in on her, but last I knew she started a family and has a great life. I'm happy for her, in a way I'm glad she ditched me.

I previously mentioned consensuality. Since I was very young I've been simultaneously terrified yet drawn to women. When I was around 5 years of age I was regularly molested by a girl who was around 9 at the time. She was the niece of my dad's girlfriend and would stay with us a lot. She would sneak into my bed late at night, undress me and pretty much play with my body sexually. If I would start to say anything she would cover my mouth with her hand. Eventually I learned to just lay there silently, letting her do what she wanted with me.

She really didn't know what she was doing, I can say that with certainty looking back. I believe she was recreating acts she had seen elsewhere. I definitely didn't understand what was happening at the time, I had a feeling it was wrong and that we shouldn't have been doing what we were. At the same time it felt good in a way. This went on for maybe half a year. It is like the experience planted a seed in my mind, a strange desire to be dominated by a woman, to submit. It is still there which causes a lot of confusion for me, I'm not really a submissive person.

After I got into my teen years and really understood what went on I wanted to talk to her about it. Unfortunately she died before I could.

I truly don't understand what it is that makes women dislike me. Trust me when I say that I'm extremely critical of myself, yet I still can't make sense of it. I'm not the skinniest guy in the world but I'm not like morbidly obese, I am hygienic, I have a really good job, I have a well kept beard that gets many compliments and I'm well over six foot tall which I've been told women like. So many people tell me I'm a great guy, that I'd be a great catch, how I'm enjoyable to be around, I've even been told that I'm easy to talk to and that me being around makes people feel safe.

I'd say I must be cursed if I believed in such things. I've heard advice like lower your standards, but it isn't as if I'm out here exclusively looking for super models or something. Yeah, I'd love to have a significant other than was extremely attractive, but I've approached girls that are honestly speaking pretty plain and average or lower, one girl I talked to my friend said was a 3 which I felt was very harsh. I know beauty is subjective, but my point is that I'm not only going for women that are 12/10s.

It almost feels like this is made up, it doesn't make sense to me. When I talk to women I try to be really friendly, respectful but also natural. Doesn't matter if it is at a bar, a party or with a perfect stranger. I've had people spectate my interactions and tell me it seemed fine and normal. But I see it in their expressions and body language while I'm talking to them, discomfort or disinterest, quickly brushing off the conversation saying they aren't single or that they're not interested in men.

Recently I really tried to steel my resolve and wanted to put myself out there. A waitress was being really nice and friendly, more than you would usually expect. I try not to bother women in this way while they're working, I don't want to be just another guy making a problem of himself, but I had a really good feeling this time. Before I left I asked the waitress if she was single and would like to hang out sometime. She fucking laughed in my face. I've never felt so low. It broke me.

I feel so alone. I'm so scared that this is what the rest of my life will be like.

I'm not necessarily looking for advice, or pity even. I really just needed to process this by putting it into words. Thank you.

I'm going to keep this brief just to vent a little bit. So the onlyfans girl I was talking to. Me and her are done for the most part pretty much. Long story short I felt led on by her and she felt like I should have known better that onlyfans isn't for in person relationships. But to give context for myself because many people would take her side immediately so the thing is I didn't go on onlyfans to find a girlfriend or anything I just got on there for fun.

Eventually I found her and well over time of us talking and we got along very well and she kinda went out of her way to do things that gave me the impression that things could go somewhere and we could see each other in person one day. But it seems like that isn't the case since she doesn't want to meet any of her fans which I thought maybe I was the exception because of how she spoke to me and the things she did. It's shitty because she literally was talking about how much I mean to her and how I keep her going and that she told me stuff she never told anyone on onlyfans and how sad she'd be to see me leave onlyfans and not talk to her anymore and she got emotional at one point saying I help her build trust with people (yet she doesn't trust me enough to meet me one day but okay) and stuff yet later on she tries to downplay the stuff I claimed she did that contributed to this situation happening in the first place. If she actually cared about me like she claimed the stuff she did would have meant something deep but she said it wasn't that deep so I guess she didn't care that much.

She didn't seem too bothered to make her case too much saying she was exhausted doing the back and forth. She apologized but it seemed like a half assed apology to me personally like she didn't care for real. Basically claiming the stuff she did like wearing Spider-Man clothes that she out of her way bought to show me because she knows I like Spider-Man and liking messages of me implying or flat out saying how fun it would be for me to hangout with her and her friends and me saying I hope to gain more of her trust over time since she seemed open to me but closed off at the same time.

It was complicated with her. So she was saying one thing then doing another thing contradicting herself which was irritating. Which is funny because she said I was irritating her when I told her to be careful with what she does next time with other people on her page so this doesn't happen again. Acting like she did nothing wrong. I was only tryna help but she decided to get condescending and kinda rude.

Other onlyfans girls I talked to never took things this far which I think is the right thing to do if you don't plan on meeting fans ever or having a relationship with them or something outside of it. They kept their distance to an extent but she tried getting too close to me and then this happened. She did say before that she can't see me irl before but like I said she was then later contradicting herself with her actions so I was getting mixed signals.

She also said she never thought for a second of actually meeting me as well so that's why I felt led on as well. Came off manipulative and I guess she only viewed me as a customer which duh makes sense. She did seem super happy whenever I would show up to her live streams though. She reposted a tweet on Twitter last night so she seems butthurt about it but oh well I had to be honest with my feelings and how I feel like she did me wrong. But I'll take responsibility for getting attached but at the end of the day I'm a human being with emotions so cut me some slack. And plus like I said before I didn't intend for this to happen. I once again got on onlyfans for fun.

And look I get it that this is onlyfans and it's not a place to find people to meet but she really seemed like she liked me a lot (liking my dick and calling me handsome) and seemed like she was not against and maybe open to meeting me one day. Plus she seemed like a really cool person that I could see myself being friends with so not just sex or relationship wise. And I know it was her I was talking to in the dms I have proof but that's not relevant to this. So if you are wondering I'm not planning on talking to her anymore and planning on leaving onlyfans as a whole.

I go to college in midwest United States. I live in a dorm an have a roommate who shares a bathroom with me. He's not from the United States and seems a little nervous to talk to anybody who isn't from his home country. The first few weeks of college, I started to notice pee on the toilet seat. No big deal, I cleaned it up. After about the 10th time, I asked him if he could stop peeing on the toilet seat, or if he does, wipe it up. He said okay and went on his day. About 3 months later, I started to notice pee all over the floor, toilet seat, and all around the toilet; worse than before. I used my own toilet paper and started going through it very quickly, so it was getting expensive. I ended up walking over to his side of the counter and grabbing one of his extra towels. I've been using it to clean pee for about 1 month now and I've definitely noticed a change in color due to the urine and the fact that I've never seen him wash it.

You made me look up statistics for divorces and affairs.. when does self become selfishness?

My friend said love is a bourgeois concept and I am again showing signs of self inflicting pain

What do you call it when you smile and I melt ?

Me me me, again

My dad was an abusive piece of shit to me as a kid so now that he has cancer im happy. I hope that he dies from his cancer in 2024.

When i was 12-13.. a guy who lives in the same apartment as mine. He was very disrespectful to me right from our young age.. Another guy who became a friend of mine during the same period,he hated this kid too..at that time we were all friends but i don’t know how and when this started,we slowly started bullying him..like verbally,and one day it became physical..i literally beat that kid,he was 2years younger than me..i dont know why i did that..but it all went normal after i apologised to him and we were frnds after this..at that age we figured out something called porn and it was new to us..we used to jerk off eachother like literally,he would touch mine and i would touch his..we never came..we were really young..one day as we were talking and watching porn I remember vaguely that he sucked my dick for about 5seconds and gagged..i begged him to suck mine and he did that because he was afraid of getting bullied..my other friend made him suck on several occasions i wasnt aware of..im sick of this..we meet everyday..he literally lives in the same house where i live..i apologised to him a year after i started regretting...he said “its fine” and laughed it off..after that apology i talk to him few times,ask about his exams and stuffs i feel guilty and sick..few yrs back he also lost his father..i feel like i could have been a brother or a good friend to him..i cant blame my age factor or the other friend who suggested me to bully him..i truly regret what i did..i feel awful and terrible..although things are somewhat okay between us..i still truly believe i traumatized him…i dont want to justify..but if there is any way i can lose my life without pain..i would do it..idk for the past few days im seriously thinking of begging his consent to suck his dick so it could be even..idk how do i do it..am i a rapist?

Lately I have been drinking little sips of Frank's Red Hot.

Also, hot sauce on popcorn is such a delicacy.

This all started almost 25 years ago. My sister is 4 years older than me, and when I was 14 we had to share a bed in a hotel room. Our parents had a room a few doors down the hall.

The bed we slept in were two beds next to each other. During the night my sister woke me touching me between my legs and I froze she continued to suck me off and told me to put it in her ass. I have never told anyone that I lost my virginity to my sister. Afterwards when we went home, she used to come to my room a few times a week when our parents weren’t home and we had sex. I still love anal. We never had sex since she moved out of the house. Last week she told me she wish we could have sex again.

This all started almost 25 years ago. My sister is 4 years older than me, and when I was 14 we had to share a bed in a hotel room. Our parents had a room a few doors down the hall.

The bed we slept in were two beds next to each other. During the night my sister woke me touching me between my legs and I froze she continued to suck me off and told me to put it in her ass. I have never told anyone that I lost my virginity to my sister. Afterwards when we went home, she used to come to my room a few times a week when our parents weren’t home and we had sex. I still love anal. We never had sex since she moved out of the house. Last week she told me she wish we could have sex again.

Before the title makes you horny, I am a male lol.

I am a straight man but a few weeks ago on my main account (this is an alt) I posted a picture of myself and a guy slid in my PM’s and told me how attractive I was and asked if I do “custom content”. I was a little weirded out at first but I was also really flattered he thought I was so sexy he’d ask if I was a sex worker. I talked with him for awhile and took every opportunity I could to screen him and make sure he wasn’t a scammer or blackmailer. There were 0 red flags other than, you know, the boldness of asking a stranger online if they’ll send you custom nsfw content.

Sure enough, I sent him feet pics and he paid up. Then, I send him a video of me jerking off and he sent me $75. The past two weeks I’ve been sending him videos of me doing random shit like rubbing a toothbrush on my feet or jerking off and playing with myself and saying his name and he pays me $100 every time.

I’m being safe about it, he’s shown me who he is, and I make sure to never include my face in the videos or let him have ANY personal information. I trust him and he’s a perfectly nice guy, really sweet and has interests and a social life that he tells me about and everything but it’s of course precautionary and for safety because I obviously don’t KNOW him know him. I even use a VPN when I talk to him so if he is trying to track me he probably thinks I live in like 10 different locations. All he knows is my first name and what my voice sounds like (and what my body looks like I guess).

Sometimes I feel guilty and ashamed, mostly because I have a paranoia that somehow someone is gonna find out or see the videos that I don’t want to. But other times it makes me feel so fucking sexy and horny. And it’s seriously helping me out financially which I desperately need. Feels like a reasonable price to, these videos can be 10-20 minutes long and from my knowledge of sex work that’s a pretty standard rate for custom content. I’m very happy this happened to me and that he had the boldness to contact me but sometimes I do find myself a little ashamed and looking over my shoulder.

I have a fantasy about doctors and dentist. Mostly doctors. I've had this ever since i had a crush on my doctor when i was younger and was so sad when I had to switch to a regular Primary Care doctor. Now I have had 2 main doctors, and I seek out certain type of men. I anticipate going with great pleasure (just writing this makes me think about it). I wear clothes to feel attractive. I put lavender lotion on, I think about what I will say. I pick out a bra with car or wear none. I do things to stay in the office longer. I anticipate the exam. I have even had sex with my husband and imagine that he is the actual doctor. I get jealous when I know the doctor is examining other woman. Same with the dentist.

Strange things. I know

So to start off I think my coworkers are jealous of my work and I don’t understand why. It’s either they are jealous or have unnecessary beef with me because I speak out. So to start I work server position. The people who work with me are related (this is not a family business). At first they were really nice but there was a point I noticed that me and other servers were missing out on events. I believed due to one of the siblings being the person who makes the schedule. This was looked into and evened out after that.

Afterwards there was a time one of the siblings yelled in my space in front of customers about the fact I sat two tables in a row. Meanwhile they have done this in the past and their manager sibling would take tables for them as well so they had an advantage. When this happened I was hurt and had to leave the floor to gather myself. One of my customers had even checked on me, asking if I was okay and telling me it would get better, before I left the floor.

There was a mediation, I tried to talk about ways that the overhead sister seemed to single me out and everything switched to me not being a team player. I was caught off guard as I have looked for ways to improve and help others if you ever work service work, it’s nearly impossible if you’re not working together.

After this exchange I was expected to dismiss anything I said. I ended up apologizing to the head sibling because I do love this job. I just don’t want anymore confrontation.

Fast forward it’s busy times summer is here and people are out. Sister stays at the bar, this wouldn’t be an issue for me she wants those sales okay I’ll focus where I can. This became a problem when she would only leave the bar for any top over 4. This took away from my sales too, again okay whatever I don’t like the confrontation that comes with them. However I was cleaning everything after her, tables, barbacking, grabbing liqour. All while I’m busy too, this is something that if we both were doing our combined duties together would make everything better. She just did not want to leave the bar. To the point she became visibly upset and asked another coworker why they gave me a bar ticket. We are in an establishment where we are expected to bartend and serve.

I had a break, I asked sibling if I needed to stay that I could help and didn’t have to go. She insist on me leaving multiple times. I start to get ready to leave the kitchen. Kitchen manager comes to me and asks me to stay. This is due to the one on the floor asking the kitchen manager to come and clean up her tables. Keep in mind we were busy so KM needed to be in her area and cooking with her team. KM asks me to stay. I go back on floor sib is upset and asks why I’m still there. I explain I was asked to stay she says oh I only wanted her to clean up a bit for me.

So I go on to sit a table take their order. She sees me taking order under myself and asks why I am. I said oh I just thought because I’m staying. I can put it under yours instead. She says in a passive aggressive tone do what you think you need to. So again abounding confrontation I ask for her to input her passcode so I can put it on hers. I decide to leave after that. KM listens to my complaints and tells me to let overhead sibling know. This makes me nervous it always becomes drama and turned to me not being a team player.

As expected OHS and other S are in mediation with me. It’s only them and me. S is going on about me being prideful and feeling like I’m better. I ensure her I don’t feel that way I don’t think she’s a bad server I just think things would have gone much smoother that day even carried the tasks together. Meanwhile OHS is reprimanding me for using terms. Verbatim these terms are “picking up the slack” “I was always cleaning up everything” while verbatim S was saying “you’re just prideful” “you think you’re better” “I hope you find a place where your happy to work” “I’ve never met someone who never wants to help others”

Now I want reiterate with anyone else I work with I never have any issues. We work together and are able to do tasks as a team. So I can’t wrap my head around why they act this way towards me. It came to the point I’ve asked other coworkers if I came across this way as I truly am trying to be a team player and I don’t like when people don’t like me. I try to be helpful even in BOH. It really hurt me honestly.

After this mediation, the times I worked drastically changed. From hours we were busy to hours we were slower. I just let it go again I do not want confrontation. However this continued into the next week and I wasn’t given any of the four events that had happened.

I again go to my head boss being as clear as possible. However due to me being flustered I spilled something a coworker told me in confidence. (It was discussed that I make 3-4 times more in sales even with the same hours as everyone else) now I felt awful. I immediately call him let him know. Understandably he was upset. Everyone is kind of scared of these two and worried about loosing their jobs. I’m going in this morning to rescind what I said about him but I still feel bad and am worried. One that I’ve lost one of the only friends and ally’s I have in the kitchen and two that going in and taking that statement back will make my other complaints also look invalid. Idk what to do but I refuse to put him into drama that isn’t his.

Hey there. I'm 21, Male. I hate my life.

Pretty much everyone always tells me I'm a cheerful and optimistic person, but every single evening I cry myself to sleep. I have never been in a relationship. I feel like I don't have any friends. There's lots of people I talk to every single day, I make people laugh and people generally like me. But that's all just superficial, convenience friendships if you may call it that.

Last year I turned twenty. On my birthday I didn't receive a single text message, not a single call from anyone. That was when I realized I don't have anyone or anything.

When I look in my diary every entry starts with "I hate myself". I can't remember the last time I was happy. Every single year I told myself that maybe I'll find someone some day, maybe a genuine friend, maybe a relationship. Every single year passed without anything happening. Recently my hope has been fading and I don't think I want to keep going anymore.

I don't want any pity or attention. I just felt like I had to say this to someone for once. Thanks.

When I was 8, my mom read a poem in my journal, that I copied from a book, and assumed it was original writing. I didn’t correct her, and eventually she entered it into a poetry contest. It won’t first place and I’ve been guilty for the past 20 years.

I met him when I was 19, he was my mentor at the workplace.

He's not attractive in a conventional way, but he is a respectable man, he has other attractive qualities that make him really attractive to me: he's polite, kind, intelligent aaand... interesting.

He never hit on me at the workplace, but he had many positive things to say about me, I was always really happy to receive compliments from him, I know him and I know he's not the kind of man who will give any woman the time of his day, being praised by him meant a lot to me when I was 19, haha.

One day I playfully asked him why he was always liking my social media posts, he said: ''I find you fascinating and interesting, I love what you share. You are really beautiful, but most importantly, you have brains and a kind heart. I think you have a bright future ahead, you have many strenghts.''

Long story short, I quit the job 10 months later. I started taking German classes last month, and unbelieveably, he was taking German classes too. He still is friendly to me.

He has never made any ''move'', I'm sure he will never make a move, he is the kind of man who cares a lot about his reputation, he will never hit on a woman who is young enough to be his daughter, he knows how that'd be perceived by society.

I want to tell him that I find him attractive and be honest... I want to look at him in the eyes and tell him I want to have a fling with him. I'm single, he is single, we're adults... he makes me feel passionate.

My father is not a great person or a great dad and he wasnt a great husband either. He was an alchoholic but hes been sober a good 2 years now, he says its been 5 years but i know it hasnt because the way he acts when hes drunk is so obvious. Growing up he would hit my mom and he put me and mybrother in choke holds or hit us over the head with a remote to get us to shut up. And he would get SO mad and scream at everyone for every little thing. A few weeks ago when i was at his house he constantly is annoyed or mad about something and talking to him is like walking on eggshells because he may get pissed off based on what i say. Now im 15 and im so so so terrified that im becoming my dad because I constantly find myself getting angry or annoyed at everything. I dony yell and i dont hit people not like he does but i just get so mad. I have never been so afraid of something in my entire life. I dont drink i wont drink i avoid people that drink because of him and now im scared of myself because of him

Been texting with a woman for several weeks. The reason we connected was we discovered we’re both very kinky and into hardcore NSA fucking. We’ve never met yet, but we had a D/s thing going. She seemed my sexual dreamgirl because she’s dirty AF and even wanted me to join a threesome group with her as her +1.

As we were close to making plans, she told me a close friend of hers committed suicide, and she was messed up from it going to lay low for a while. I had been checking in on her to make sure she’s OK, which she has appreciated.

Today I checked her FB page and was pissed to find that she just announced that she’s in a relationship with a guy. I know both things could be true — her friend dying and Her having a new bf… But the timing just says that she’s been stringing me along. Very disappointing since she seemed pretty down to earth.

Don’t know whether to hang in there to see if maybe it’s an open relationship. Want to mention it to her but can’t tell her I found out through her FB.

I am a North Indian who has been in a relationship with a girl from North India for the past 4 years. We are not married. About a month ago, I started talking to this South Indian woman who is a divorcee and is 5 years older than me. We met at her place and had the best time together (I cheated on my girlfriend of the past 4 years). I am feeling guilty due to the fact that I never expected myself to do this. The South Indian woman is expecting me to commit to her and be in a relationship. I find her quite amazing. We share an amazing connection with each other. I don't want to ruin the life of my current girlfriend. But I also enjoyed being with the older woman and I have no idea what I should be doing from here. My mind is continuously thinking about being with the older woman, and I cannot even leave my current girl.

It's messing with my mind. And I needed to rant about it. Please help

I (sissy 42) was swimming at the local pool the other day and started chatting with a woman in the next lane. she was telling me all about her husband, her job etc, and then out of the blue, she said "oh my god, i want to set you up with someone!" and went all giggly and excited. I was a bit shy and said thank you, and then she continued with "he is perfect for you, and he will treat you so good!" and then i realised that she thought i was gay. (i am a crossdresser, but have never been with a guy... I am curious though!)
so instead of correcting her, i asked her what he did for a living, and if he was cute... and she started gushing all about him, and told me everything... and secretly, i started wondering if i should go on the date!
she said she would check with him, and next time i see her at the pool, she will give me his number. am i ready to date a man?
all i know is, it felt good to be 'one of the girls' and have girly chat with a complete stranger!

Formatted the title so I apologise if you’re seeing my post twice. This is more of a confession but I am open to hearing others perspectives and thoughts.

My friend (26F) and I (26F) got hired by the same firm after our master's program, in a company where reputation management is a big deal. Naturally, this means that HR is more focused on protecting the company's brand rather than protecting the employees.

7 months into working this job, I found my friend kissing our manager one day and immediately tried to compartmentalise what just happened. My friend started avoiding me and I got assigned projects where I could not collaborate with high-performing members of our team including my friend (obviously he would grant her favours) and it affected my morale. I can understand why he was trying to put distance between my friend and I and would coincidentally always happen to be working remote himself to avoid seeing me.

This forbidden knowledge of their affair was taking a hit on my job since I knew his wife and kids personally. I wondered if going to the HR or to the wife myself anonymously or threatening my friend and my manager to come clean would help, only to realise I might put myself in hot water by doing that. Something similar happened to another employee who got too nosey about another coworker's personal life.

I was dealt a very bad hand in life so to get through life, I had to get opportunistic and be a little underhanded to get ahead and be successful. After a few weeks of the unfairness taking place, I decided that the best course of action to help myself out would be to put myself first and prioritise my career over telling the wife myself as it wouldn't be too hard to find out that I'm the whisperer here.

I requested a private meeting with my manager to clear the air. I began the meeting with telling him that all I was looking for is a simple conversation. I told him that a couple of weeks ago I was put in a pretty weird spot and acknowledged that it's none of my business to pry in anyone's personal life. Indirectly I told him that I apologised if my demeanour around him made him feel like I was a threat to his personal life, and I was only talking to him as a means of advocating for myself as I had a vested interest in this job to progress in my career. I said to him "We can all dismiss my memory from that day as a figment of my imagination and we can all move on". I said that all I am interested in is a good working relationship with him and maybe that could start by staffing me on high-value projects from now on. He was happy about that meeting and we had a good deal.

He seemed to have heard and job started feeling better. Few weeks later I requested if he could give a strong recommendation to me to his previous employer as I was interested. I knew he'd take this as putting a distance between him and I and was happy to do so. Needless to say, I got the job with a salary hike and he was pleased about that. I kept my word about keeping my mouth shut.

I know that I essentially was unethical and did not do the righteous thing by telling his wife but I would never choose to jeopardise my career if it meant I become some sort of a "happiness pump". I was not always like this, if 5 years ago you'd tell me what I did, I would've been horrified. However, after every single thing I have been through, I opine that successful people aren't an ethical bunch either. And sometimes I do think I am an AH. However I try to rationalise away my guilt by telling myself that all I did was save my ass and one way or another the wife would know.

I probably saw that forbidden knowledge as a leverage to further in my career, and sometimes I still feel guilty about it. Yet in a weird way, almost proud of myself. It feels good to get this off my chest.

When I feel down usually about career, life, education etc I go on tinder/humble to see the people out there at my age and what they're doing sometimes match and chat, dig up the dirt and feel better about myself, and then ghost.

My ex husband we will call him Joe, we have been married for 7 years. But Joe always had love for this woman he knew his entire life but things were always complicated for them due to family. Joe’s high school sweetheart we will call her by her nickname Angel, she belongs to a very strict cultural background and she’s not allowed to marry outside her race and culture. They had a secret relationship when they were younger but it did get leaked out and Angels parents took her out of public school and put her into private school and forced all communication to be cut off between them

Joe and Angel always kept in touch here and there and they gave updates on their life. Joe did end up moving on with his life and lost in touch with Angel since he felt like he was wasting his life waiting for someone he can never be with. He always loved her though. He was really hurt having to let her go. I’ve honestly never seen someone this in love it was actually crazy that he was more in love with another woman than his own wife

I was always a place holder for Joe. He does love me too but it will never comparable for the love he has for Angel. It will always be here. That hurts for me to admit it but it’s true, it’ll always be Angel

Angel and Joe reconnected over the years without my knowledge. They were having an affair on and off since they reconciled during COVID. Which is insane because I was in the hospital during COVID and now the puzzle pieces are connecting. They stopped talking again because it wasn’t right that he was cheating on me, I guess he does have a conscience but nope they ended up reconnecting AGAIN

They had a sexual and emotional affair on and off for several years

It’s funny and crazy at the same time that their relationship has always been a secret. But their love never faded away, it always grew stronger. It hurt finding their old letters from high school and from the present day while I was still married to him. I read pages of their long love letters through his email too. I just can’t believe how much they love each other even after a time with so much absence. I guess I thought they’d eventually forget about each other. But I was wrong

Angels dad passed away when she was in her late teens. Her mother passed away due to cancer in 2017. Her parents weren’t going to stop them from being together anymore since they’re dead now. Joe was there for her after her mother passed

Joe kept telling Angel that he will leave me, but there hasn’t been a right time because I’ve been through a lot over the past couple years after COVID, it was a really hard time for me. I also lost my job at the time. My childhood cat also passed away. My best friend committed suicide. Then it gets worse…I found out about his affair

Long story short, he really thought that he could find a better time to leave me when it would be less inconvenient for me. He made me feel like he was doing me a favor or something by staying longer since my life was such a mess but he was only just causing me more pain

He did tell me he was really sorry, but he did say that it’ll always be her. He never stopped loving her. Angel also apologized to me. I don’t even hate her, aside from being a home wrecker she does seem like a generally good person but the circumstances were just unfortunate. Me and Joe were never meant for each other. We shouldn’t have been together in the first place. It was always Joe and Angel

My husband divorced me and married Angel and I they’ve been married for almost 4 years and they even have a baby together

You know everyone keeps telling me it’ll get better but honestly, I don’t think it ever will. I don’t think many people can understand having so many of your years stolen from you by someone else under no control of your own. It’s really hard to just forget about all the years of my life with a man who I love more than anything. I feel like I was robbed from my happiness

So yesterday night I went over to my friends house where it was just the two of us and his sister, we sat him down and told him everything, from the club to our drunken mistake and the fact that we talked about the night prior and that we have feelings about each other and that before we do anything forward we wanted to come clean to him and get his blessings, and he surprisingly was happy about it and not all mad, he said that at least I had the guts to tell him everything and not go around his back and betray his trust and that he respects me for it, and he has given me and his sister his blessings to get into a relationship and he said that there isn’t a guy he’d rather be with his little sister than me, and then we hanged out a couple more hours before I went home and continued chatting with his sister all night and yeah now I guess we’re officially girlfriend and boyfriend

I grew up poor. I lived in a car with my mom most of my life. I never got a chance. My mom even purposely held me back from school just so she can receive child support from my bio father longer

In my late teens I started working a minimum wage job where I met my now husband. I was initially attracted to him because he’s wealthy. But my husband is 9 years older than me

I even stole money from him when we were just dating because I never thought he would see anything with me long term, he still doesn’t know I’ve stolen money from him

I didn’t love him when I married him. The truth is I did fall in love with him slowly after we got married. I knew the only way I could have a better life was using him as a ticket to finally live above my means

My husband is a 7 figure earner. I used him to gain a college education. He put me through school. I have my BA in communication studies. I don’t have any debt. I have traveled a bit too. I learned I don’t like traveling though, dealing with language barriers is just a lot and makes the trip extremely stressful and after you see so many places it’s just another museum, statue, or river just in a different location

I did work after I got my degree, I worked in marketing and I didn’t like it. I dabbled in other types of work. But I didn’t want to work anymore and my husband said I’ll never have to work again if I don’t want to and I loved that. I use to feel bad because I don’t have any ambition or work drive, but honestly nobody in this world would want to work a boring 9-5 job if they didn’t have to either so I don’t feel bad anymore

My husband did cheat on me a couple times throughout our marriage but I don’t care. I’m staying because I need to survive. I really don’t care for love. Love doesn’t pay for your bills or your lifestyle. I grew up in poverty and I’m never going back to that

I retired from working in my 20s and I don’t regret it. I do have children and I love them so much. I also reconciled with my mother and I bought her own place near my house

this started off as simply being attracted to my coworker and not knowing any details of her personal life. after i left the company, i came over in attempt to flirt and explore my interest in women. however the second time we hung out, she told me she is married (didn’t ever wear her ring at work so i had no clue) but it is an open relationship and that her wife is currently sleeping with a guy. i already liked her unfortunately but we both agreed to keep it strictly hook up. she started texting me all the time and wanting to always see me, eventually she dropped the L bomb. I loved her too and from there it just became a thing. once she asked me to be in a relationship, she wanted me to meet her wife who she’d been wanting a divorce with due to her wife’s need to sleep with guys and neglect towards their marriage. i was introduced as a “friend” but the more all three of us hung out the more her wife started to have feelings for me too. for context at this point in time i was 17, the wife was 28 and my girlfriend being 31. it became a 3 way relationship where they would take me shopping, to events, gave me a house key, wanted me over every day. i would sit in between them on the couch. so after a couple months her wife asks me to JOIN their marriage and would invite me over alone without telling her wife (my secret girlfriend) i declined because i didnt love her or even liked her i secretly hated her guts. after awhile she found out about us but the wife i was actually dating divorced her so we could be together. we dated for almost 3 years and i lived with her after the divorce but unfortunately after all the trouble it didnt even work out😅

Please. I don't want to get old, please. How the hell was that shit funny to me??