Hi there,
So we are a group of 3 dudes (me M29, "Keind" M30 and "Touxeek" M31) knowing each other for like 15 years. We started to play video game online in the last 3 years as we live really far from each others, sometime every evening of the week (I did reduce my gaming time by 3 in the last year and I only play now 1 or 2 evenings a week now (I'm really proud of it lol)).

"K" is like a best friend and I would say "T" is a great friend too but not as close like "K" to me.

So in the last years (because it's a old problem in fact lol), "K" and I have a little problem with "T" each time we play cooperative games online :
- "T" becomes too bossy, leader, managing us like we are his kids or something.
- "T" takes everything too seriously, too much at heart while K and I play for relax, fun...
- "T" get angry easily for mistakes we do even when we didn't do anything wrong...
- "T" blames us for some of his mistakes and never apologises in return... that's the most weird part.
- "T" insults us from time to time, not really with swear words but more like the angriness in the voice, it gives me the vibe he is a narcissist pervert at work and whatever you do it's bad....

I know communication is key.

We did try to talk about this with him, twice. While he was still angry but he got even more angry...

The second time, few days later after he got rude toward us, we told him again and he answered like "yes but you know I like gaming, blabla, it's not against you guys, I like to play to compete, etc."

It's really sad because sometime he can be really nice, funny and very listening, and sometime he turns into a poor loser with an toxic attitude toward us. I feel it's like being with two different people.

So really I don't know what to do ? Sometime I feel like talking to him like he talked to us but I know I will say something and it will hurt him... Then the next day I will feel so guilty, I will apolagise and I will still think about this in the next weeks lol.

Thank you for reading, J.E

Should I extend my internship into summer (+1 month) and change my flights?

Here are the details:

1. Interning from 14 January to 31 May on document.

2. Internship stipidend/salary = 960 USD/month approx

3. Booked my tickets back home (different country) for a grand total of 510 USD return included on the date of 14th June (departure) and 31st July (return). My reason to go at these times were 2, that firstly I have to attend the Islamic festival Eid Adha at home on June 17 and I have a cousin's wedding in late July.

4. My internship project is a bit delayed and I reckon I'd benefit both from a resume and a financial point of view if I extended my internship to June end.

5. My flight consists of an international flight and then a connecting domestic flight. Luckily I chose the student option for my international flight so I have a complementary/free flight change, but for my domestical flight I will have to pay a nominal fee of upto 33 USD maximum.

6. The only issue, and the reason I am making this post is that I am currently on a final year project (FYP) which I have given a commitment to do from June 1 (after internship ends) to June 14 (original day of departure) and resume from 31st July (original day of return). I can technically ask my professor that instead of coming for 2 weeks everyday (1st June to 13 June) I can come for evenings (1 June to 29 June) for the entirety of June...

My question is: Given all this information, is it financially and logically better for me to extend my internship to (a) Earn almost 1k USD more as a broke student (b) Miss out on celebrating the biggest festival in my culture (Eid Adha on 17 June) (c) potentially improve my resume (d) increased risk of professor getting pissed off...

You get the point, this is a bit of a rant, and I need someone to give me an outside percepective! Thanks.

I suffer from depression and OCD, and I’m seeing a therapist every week. However, something that is routinely on my mind is the fact that I am not a resilient person. I know this because of evidence. I barely survived the Covid pandemic lockdown, in which I had to move out of my college dorm and my parents forbade me from leaving the house for 18 months. I had a very cushy life during this time, with enough food to eat and all the Netflix shows I ever wanted to watch. But my mental health plummeted and I’m still not okay, four years later.

It hurts so much to know that if anything horrible ever happened to me, I would not be able to make it through okay. I’m barely hanging on as it is. I can’t imagine any scenario in which I survive a horrific event with my sanity intact. And that terrifies me.

I need a way to tell my dad that my younger brother is using drugs..

Hey, so my younger brother has been taking drugs for the past 3 years, and yesterday I was actually able to proof it. The problem is, I cant tell my father directly because my father loves him a lot and simply wont believe me. I know this because my uncle caught my brother doing drugs some time ago and came to tell us, but my father refused to believe him despite all the evidence my uncle provided, and just commented on how its because he is under stress. Eventually my dad shunned my uncle from the family completly under other reasons, but I know its because he spoke about My brother. I am afraid the same will happen to me if i said the truth now. What can I do? I thought of anonmysly texting him but am afraid he will figure out its me...

I'm a grade 10 student, and I've found that lately I simply cannot focus for even few minutes on any given assignment. I never had this issue before (though anything grade 8 and prior is more of a blur to me). The most I recall is some procrastination issues, though I'd get it done last minute, whether it be staying up or working through all of my classes. The idea is that I was able to focus on the assignment if necessary. Nowadays, I couldn't feasibly do this with it being due tomorrow. I would need to force myself to stay focused.

Recently, I've noticed that I cannot focus on an assignment for even a few minutes. What happens, specifically, I sit for a minute, either working or reading the instructions, then go off for few minutes with it lingering in the back of my mind whilst doing something else. This "few minutes" period can last anything from three minutes to an hour or two. I asked one of my friends how long he believes a given assignment would take, to which he said it took about 30 minutes. I have been "working" on it for the past 6-8 hours and it's around half done.

This is a terrible issue due to it wasting an absurd amount of time. It is also absolutely infuriating to not be able to sit and focus on something. The best way I can describe it is that I constantly feel stressed to NOT work on it. Imagine you had very stage fright, and had to go perform in front of a massive crowd in 5 minutes. In these 5 minutes, you are to write an essay. That is where I stand, or so it feels.

I've thought it being because of the attention span issue people love to fear monger about, though I highly doubt it. I have friends who also have similar bad habits to myself (such as watching short form content, the most discussed cause) who are able to sit down and work.

I am absolutely leaving out crucial information that I've forgotten, and I will reply to every comment under this post with answers to any questions if needed.

Meant to do this on an alt account but of course I need comment karma, so there goes that plan.

I am currently attending university for a bachelors in Communications. The problem? I was sent here to major in Construction Management. Technically, I'm still on track for a minor in it, but I'm sure that won't be enough. Basically, my parents (more specifically my dad) wants me to get a job in construction management, since it has high pay (not really) and whatnot. I'm not interesting in this in the slightest. No matter how I word it, no matter what I show him, he is adamant that he won't allow me to get a degree in communications, despite it opening up many job opportunities, and in some cases more profit than construction management.

What's worse is that he is paying for my uni in its entirety! If he finds out what I'm actually majoring in, all my funding is gone, and I've only held one job my entire life, so it'd be straight down to rock-bottom for me.

Side tangent if I didn't make it clear, I despise construction management. My father goes on and on about how easy it is to overcharge people for such an easy job. That does not sound like fulfilling work. I could never work happily knowing I'm probably living off of scamming people out of their money. He also glorifies it as some golden, perfect job, when in reality, its job market is (from what research I've done) just as screwed as every other line of work here in America right now!

I'm certainly in the wrong here in some ways; why go to college at all if I'm just gonna lie behind his back? I don't wanna have my life written for me, but why can't I just listen? Either way, I didn't make this post just to rant. And hey, I'm willing to admit when I've dug myself into a hole, but god damn will I keep digging.

How can I possibly convince him to let me pursue communications, or at least let me go to university for something I want? Since I was a kid I LOVED writing, and that's something that's never changed. Clearly passion isn't where I'm lacking, but I really don't know what else to show him without him catching on immediately.

I'll admit this sounds more like a rant than a post for advice, but I digress. Just trying to get as much info I can give out. If any extra context is needed, I'll be happy to answer it (assuming it fits within the rules)

And for anyone who read this, thank you.

When I first applied to college I wanted to get a bachelor's in theater. I unfortunately given up on it because I didn't think it would be a financially rewarding and I just wasn't passionate about it as a career. Also unfortunately it was the only thing I was passionate about, like there is Literally nothing else that I'm interested in. When I actually got to college I constantly switched my major because couldn't decide on what I wanted to do. Like all I cared about was finding a job that made good money, but unfortunately that meant I have to search until I found one I could stick to. I went like that for over a year until I dropped out. I just couldn't take the constant stress and frustration. I'm planning on going back but I feel like I'll just end up with the same problem. What should I do?.

I felt uncomfortable when I am vulnerable and people have to help me. I will give a quick example.

I went to a party and got pretty drunk by accident. I did 4 shots and normally I can drink alot and not feel anything. I have done this tons of times with friends and never once was a liability. But that night I forgot to eat all day because class ran pretty late. I had only a hotdogs and thought would be enough. Well, it wasn't and I started to feel drizzy very quickly. I was still coherent and actually was able to carry on pretty well. More people were trying to get me drunk and I was still in control and said no. So i tried to menigate the situation but i didnt know when i was going to get sober. I try to hang out and just drink water. But it was apparent based on how talkative I was that I had got tipsy. Ironically in this state, I was able to tell my friend that I need a ride home and I messed up. He decided to drive my car to my apartment. On the way home, I kept apologizing and telling him that I owe him and if he wants gas money, I will give it to him.

He said that he doesn't want anything and happy to help me. We are friends. He also told me to shut up because I'm being annoying. I feel guilty and I still do because I don't like it when I can't always defend myself. I also feel like I ruin his day and he had to drive 10 minutes from his home to help.

I just want to thank him even now that I'm sober. I can't stop thinking about how helpful he was. What should I do?

i’m gonna try my hardest to explain this but i really don’t know how to, okay so basically yk how when you sit (depending on your weight) you can feel your belly rolls. for some reason at random times when im laying down, one side of my stomach i will feel like im feeling a roll but there is absolutely no roll and its driving me insane. i don’t think this makes any sense but i literally can’t sleep because of it its making me go crazy someone if you know what i mean please help

Hello, I am a high schooler, I do an online high school thats 1 on 1 classes, and its great, but god i am so damn lonely, I am in my room day to day, i see the same 7 people on zoom and i see my parents every day, its dull. I live in the bay area,, but i just want to meet people my age and get some friends that aren't online friends that live hundreds of miles away.

Ill give a short synopsis. My whole life has just been getting by. I grew up in extreme poverty, to a single disabled mother, and everyday was just doing what I had to to get by. Everyone from my childhood has passed away or moved on. Im 30, and nobody or nothing from my last 30 years I really depend on or care about. It might as well not exist. So Im trying to make something of my life with no desire to do anything, except exist. I live alone in a city with no friends or family. None of them ever reach out to me except my 75 year old aunt who is also lonely. I have two degrees, but for years Ive been unable to land any job, and the jobs I do get management quickly comes to dislike me and looks for ways to get me to quit, or outright fires me. I work Lyft but Ill soon get kicked off the platform because riders lie and say I drink and drive.

The biggest issue is that Ive come to accept all of this, and dont care to make it any better. Im fine dying or becoming homeless, because it seems like life has always wanted that for me. But I live in Austin, Texas, and always see people going out with friends, talking about their families, and loving life, and I cant help but feel like I could have that too. But its like the more I try, thr more life tells me "no". So I just become okay with what is and dont try to get the American dream.

Where do I even start to make things better? I want good friends, not to be a screw up at work, not be threatened with homelessness daily. I just want to enjoy life, not just be okay with it

my boyfriend and i unfortunately lost our jobs at the beginning of last month. We moved into our current apartment in February (while simultaneously still living and paying for our last. We have not been late on a single payment. We were even able to pay last months rent on time.

We just secured new jobs (with better pay!), thank goodness, but our landlord isn’t meeting us halfway. We let her know that we are able to pay this month but we cannot pay before the eviction proceedings which are to be on the 15th.

She knows we lost our jobs and that we need a little extra time to pay this months rent, but she is telling us that we have until the morning of the 16th or else thousands of dollars of fees will be placed on our account.

We have been great tenants (even paying things sooner than we had to to make her job easier) and I’m unsure as to why we cannot be met with some leniency. I have never in all my renting history fased eviction, and I have been renting for three years. any advice on how to deal with this?

I was thinking about contacting the management’s office building when it opens tomorrow.

Hi,

My name is Jack.

​

I am currently a freshman in college, in my second semester, which has always been my ultimate goal and dream since I was a child (going to college). I got accepted to a pretty decent college, even though it wasn't my first choice. I was hoping to get into an Ivy League or something similar, but being homeschooled, I wasn't prepared from the start of high school and fell into laziness during my senior year, but that part isn't a problem for me, I was content in choosing my local research college because it is still a great school. Actually, I should be living my best life. But I haven't, and I am so tired of letting it get this far and never being able to do a damn thing about it.

Ever since college started, I have been struggling with my life miserably. I have become a miserable, repulsive, disgusting, decrepit version of myself which has caused me great shame, guilt, and disgrace. In the beginning, everything went exactly as I had envisioned and better: since the summer, I was in a fantastic headspace; I went from being a lonely, isolated kid who stayed in his room all day playing video games or studying to someone who was outgoing in a way I never imagined I was possible of, having the time of my life making new experiences, meeting new friends (so many of them being international, which was so amazing to me because I have always been a person who is obsessed with and fascinated by cultures and languages specifically). But then, at some point I just didn't do my assignments. I don't know what it was, some combination of fear of missing out on the events happening (that I could be doing other than my homework) and being still in the relaxed mindset from move-in week, when classes still hadn't started yet. I just didn't do any assignments, and then I still didn't; after some point, I was literally just turning to weed the second I was released from classes and had "free time" for the rest of the day. I ended up with Fs in all of my classes.

A little bit of possibly useful information is the summer before college I started finally smoking weed habitually, which I always knew I was going to pick up ever since I was like 12 years old, just because I've always been an extremely scientifically-minded individual and knew at the time that marijuana wasn't the devil's lettuce like some people say it is, and that it can be done in a relatively healthy way. A way in which I didn't and don't.

So, after first semester I was fed up and started reaching out to everyone I could about my situation. I was told exactly how to change things: I was given numerous resources I could reach out to and meet with to stay on track, and I told myself I was going to use them, and that this second semester I would fix everything and live out the rest of my freshman year how I'd wanted to from the start. I got accepted to do research in physics, which is literally my dream and what I've been wanting to do in life since I was a child, it's the thing that matters to me more than anything else. I did attend my therapy intake session and the information session after that, but I missed my 2nd real appointment and essentially just never went again because I was still under the assumption that I'd do well this semester. And then, everything happened again. Not in exactly the same way, and I was doing good at first, but then at some point probably around spring break I just stopped again. I couldn't do anything. I fell back into my same old habits, and I still can't do anything.

I just want to be able to do things again. I don't know who I am right now, but it's such a stark contrast to the studious math and physics obsessed nerd I was before college and I just don't know what to do. I feel like I've wasted my college experience because I spent almost all of it in a weed haze and it doesn't feel like I'm processing everything. I feel so discouraged because say I get my act together now: I only have about a month until move-out and so I'll no longer get to experience the dorms; I'll never get to do it over again. I'll be starting my life in an apartment with college already being a thing that we're doing and used to. I won't get to have the feeling and experience of adjusting and adapting to college life like it's a fresh new and exciting thing, I'll just wake up in the middle of it.

What can I do to fix my life? Why can't I find the motivation to do anything, even though I keep telling myself I'm going to fix things now and all will be well? How do I go from where I am now, failing all of my classes (I'm at least passing this semester), failing to meet all of my responsibilities, on shaky grounds with almost all of my professors and and my research mentor and with an irreversibly stunted GPA, to the person I was in high school: motivated, passionate about my subject, endlessly studious. How do I reach a point where I can get back on track to becoming a career physicist with prestige? Is it even possible at this point? Have I ruined my chances for the only career path I actually want to pursue and would make me content?

Any help at all would be appreciated, because I'm just so sick of this that I want it to stop, I want to try everything I can to make it stop, make things better.

Dear all

I think sometimes speaking to people I know they tell me what I want to hear, or, they offer some form of lecture. Neither of which are helpful.

Maybe however I'm just being wrong? Or, maybe I'm just a stubborn man who doesn't like to be told the truth.

Last year I lost my six year old daughter after a short battle with lymphoma. Just three years shy of when we lost her mother (my wife) to breast cancer. Through getting myself buried with grief, debt and stupidity - I've found myself in this odd space where I think I just need someone to pick me up and drop me in the right direction to push forward.

I thought I was starting to move forward. Last week - I dunno, I just shot myself in the foot one to many times (not literally I should add).

I'm not expecting, though would be nice, for someone to wave their wand and make everything alright again. Yet, I need someone to...I dunno, maybe shake me?

I guess the advice I'm after is, simply, answer the one question I don't think is able to be answered. That question being 'what's the fucking point off...anything?'

Eh? What's the actual point? And I guess I just wanted to read peoples interpretation of that question.

My aunt did an Intra-Family Transfer for the $2.5MM family home, and disinherited me, my sister, my mother, and her severely handicapped brother.

She did it all without talking to anybody in the family.

She got my 96 year old Grandma to do it under the pretense of taking over the mortgage.

So, my mother won Temporary Conservatorship to protect her brother and mother.

Can we revoke the Intra-Family Transfer Deed and return the family home to the Trust?

The house was bought in 1976, the property taxes ~$9K at that time. Due to the transfer, the owner (now my Aunt) will have to pay $20K+ in property taxes, and if she tries to sell it, she'll have to owe ~$900K in capital gains tax. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

We would like to return the house to the trust, as if nothing had happened.

non-crucial facts:- My grandma and grandpa were immigrant doctors from a 3rd world country. They worked hard for this home.

- Aunt has also mismanaged ~$30K of her severely handicapped brother's SSI checks, having "power of attorney" over him. Another case of Undue Influence.

Thanks for any and all help!

UPDATE: I have determined that the transfer can be challenged on the grounds of Undue Influence. It will require a lawsuit.

It seems like lately everyone important in my life is struggling and I wish I could help but I'm struggling with my own problems too and barely getting by. I don't want to bother any of them with my issues since I know their plates are already full. I guess this is turning out to be more venting but advice would be appreciated.

I’m 26 and still in college.

Went back to school at 23 because I work a retail job. Don’t know what I want. I have 54/90 credits for my associates. I have 3 classes that will cost me 1.5k to take, but can drop them before midnight tomorrow for no charge.

I don’t enjoy school, and dread the feeling of being in it for another 2 years. I also don’t want to work menial jobs forever and want an education so I can get a professional job. I am also quite good at school despite how I feel.

Part of me doesn’t want to spend the money on something I don’t like, part of me doesn’t want to give up and continue being something I am disappointed in.

What do I do 🥲

Edit: Part of me feels the staying in school would be done out of fear. I know making decisions out of fear is bad, but I don’t see how else I can become a respected professional.

Hello, I’ve got a mate, who I’ve never met in person but have been talking to him like on the phone and Snapchat that kind of thing for like 4 years now! He lives the other side of the country from me so miles away!

Recently he had had problems with his eyes (cataracts I think, something about blurry vision) so can’t work, and lost his job because of it, he has now been made homeless because the place he was staying at (his mates house) was a drug den basically so he left and his health got bad, also diabetic, so stayed in hospital for a week, the hospital let him go with no where to stay!!

He’s been to the council they won’t help, until he’s been sleeping rough for 2 nights basically they said he has to prove he is homeless, and now he has no where to stay!!

I said he could always try and get to my flat but again never met him 😅 and I’ve got no other suggestions

I reached out to a friend because I was feeling like I had no reason to exist. I wanted to ask what I meant to her and what the world would be like without me. But… I also didn’t feel like me. Like I wasn’t who I was. I had similar thoughts and feelings but I talked and acted completely differently. I remember (most) of it (and I say “most” because I have pretty bad memory fog so I have a difficult time remembering things) and I remember what I was thinking and everything, I just didn’t feel like me.

To show how weird this is I’ll give examples of my usual writing style and something I said when I “wasn’t me”. Usual style:

(Me talking to the same friend about an update for me being admitted into hospital): Oh also I am gonna be admitted to the hospital but the wait is like 4 weeks WHICH SUCKS MAJOR DONKEY BALLS

(Me talking as “not me”, my friend, rightfully confused, asked me if this is a disorder): I am unsure. I believe we are unlikely to have dissociative identity disorder, if that is what you are asking. I feel as though I am [MY NAME] but I don’t believe I am.

In that message I also refer to my whole self as “we”. I feel like I am many. I’m me now, and I’m that child who was taken advantage of. (I hate that child. She was such a weirdo) but I’ve always felt like that. But here I feel like I’m not me, a completely different person but with the same memories and thoughts.

I wasn’t actually sure if I was real like that… and you can see in this message: Again, if [MY NAME] was just having a mental break and we never speak again, you were wonderful company. Know that [MY NAME] loves you very much, and, I do too. Even though it feels like this was our first meeting.

I don’t really know what this means, but hey. At least they were a polite yet slightly creepy gentleman. They actually refer to my friend as “my dear” multiple times, which is interesting because I often like to call people “darling”… I’m probably just waaaaaaaaaaaaay too tired and this is nothing but I’d still like opinions!

Hi, ive made props for local theatres for years, its something i love doing and something i feel as though/have been told im pretty damn good at.
Ive ended up leaving my theatre for various reasons and really wanna custom commissions, but since i'm under 18 i cant do it through Etsy.
Now ive seen other posts about people under 18 wanting to do commissions, 90% of the replies are "Take the time to hone your craft, you're young" and while i hear that advice, its unhelpful, doing commissions will have a helpful impact not only on my skill but also my confidence. I have no way to hone my craft outside of what commissions would be and while sure making random props for no reason for myself is fun, i dont do it often, i have this skill, and i also would like to have money to be able to make more complex props (also cause im broke and would like money)
that being said, any real, simple or elaborate, advice on how to sell custom prop commissions to.. cosplayers or anyone really?

I'm a massive procrastinator and also have pretty severe ADHD, I'm a sophomore in high school, and i can't find any motivation to start working on my missing school work. I've been told that if I fail this year, I'm going to be kicked out of the school or held back, but despite that, I still can't seem to bring myself to do the work. Most of it is "read 20 pages and annotate" stuff like that, but I have over 50 missing assignments in all classes; some of them I know are easy, but others I just can't understand the way the teacher teaches, or they are a bad teacher. I REALLY want to keep going to this school and I want to get the work done but i cant get the motivation to start or i get derailed really fast (not understanding what the problem is asking me/distractions) I really need advice from anybody with ADHD or anybody who is a procrastinator on how they find the motivation to get shit done.

It’s my first time being a supervisor. I’ve been a supervisor since October and I am just now actually getting into supervision because I had my own work I had to wrap up. I’m STRUGGLING. There are some days where I am friggen killing it but those feel rare. I’ve stayed late more than I ever did as a worker. I have a hard time not letting my mood for the day get in the way. I do my best to be as cheery/nice/optimistic as possible but it’s always someone coming to complain about someone or something. I’ve also had to deal with a real doozy of an employee and it’s an HR mess. Does anyone have any advice at all on what you like about your supervisors OR if you are a supervisor how do you handle it?

I am a 5th year (final year) medical student in Pakistan. We have our last year this year and our college is adamant on making every decision that will make our lives absolutely hell. We have an insane schedule where it's basically 9-3 on Monday, 9-4:30 on Tuesday- Friday and now 9-3 on Saturday. We are wasting 50 hours a week on useless crap because at the end of the day,we have to study by ourselves no matter what. I study in an insane way where I cover the material extremely slowly but retain an absolutely monstrous amount of information. With the way I study,ideally i would be spending 30-36 hours a week in studying. Add that to the mandatory useless 50 hours. I am spending 80-90 hours a week whether I like it or not. It's just getting to me mentally because I already haven't had a social life in previous years now it seeks that I won't be even getting time for a personal life. All my prayers are for the death and destruction of our college and a horrendous death for our administrators and their families. Our own professors have told us that they find these hours absurd and unnecessary.

I just feel depressed and anxious to a level I can't even describe.

My dad works at college sports events, selling shirts for his company and there is one championship he goes to during the summer. My mom use to take us to visit him, and in 2017 i started to help him and kept going back every year. Despite it being really tiring, it is my favorite thing. In 2021, the championship was growing so my dad's company hired a merch company for help. My 2 best friends work for this company and seeing them for the week is the best part of the year. Also, the owner of that company thought it was working too hard to not get paid, and paid me. But, now my mom wants my brother to join for pay too. But, there are 2 problems. First, the high school i go to is in the middle of the country and i relate to no on there and have no friends, so these are the only people I actually can talk to. My brother is 13, has social anxiety and can only bench 50lbs. He's suppose to do the same thing as me which is carrying heavy boxes and making your way through crowds of thousands of people, which is probably the worst possible job for him. The only reason he wants to go is because the money and we sometimes eat out after. He also usually sleeps 14-15 hours in the summer, and i get at most 6.5 every night here. Also, the only way he gets paid is if he works hard the whole time. We usually are here for one week, and i am drained after, but we will be here for 2 weeks this time and I feel like there is no chance he will be able to do anything and will just stay by my side, and i can't talk to my friends as well with him by me the whole time. I feel like my dad won't understand and will say im selfish. This job is my only escape i have all year and i need it. How can i explain this to him? Also sorry for this being so long

A little background before I get into the story. I am typing fast and I am very emotional so please excuse any grammatical errors.

TL;DR: My mother has not spoken to me since we got into a physical altercation 2 nights ago. I have suffered through years of her taking out her anger on my brothers and I when we aren't the ones who caused her pain. I miss speaking to my mother but I don't regret letting her know how I constantly feel disrespected by her and telling her she has a lot of built-up misplaced anger and she should take the necessary steps to get help. What can I do to break the silence?

I (19F) was raised with my 2 brothers (32M, Jason, and 16M, Brian) by our single mother (48-51F), I don't know her exact age. Jason has a different father but Brian and I share the same father. My parents have never been married as my father is still a womanizer. That being said, I have never seen my mother in a romantic relationship, but I know she has had terrible luck with the fathers of her children and she has put up with a lot. Brian and I were born too close together for me to remember seeing her and my father together, I just know he was never present. Despite all of this, my mother has done a hell of a great job raising my brothers and I. She made sure we had everything we needed, never missed a meal, put us in extracurriculars, all the motherly stuff except.

The downside though is my mother has struggled with anger management issues all throughout my childhood. My mother did not have a pleasant upbringing so she has a lot of childhood trauma and also she is a nice person so people take advantage of her and leave her at rock bottom. When Jason was 18/19, he moved out so it was just me, mommy, and Brian. She always took out her anger on us, yelling, calling us names, hitting, etc. As we got older, it wasn't as bad but still. I don't remember all the incidents because I usually block out traumatic experiences. I suffered through years of emotional abuse like being ignored, being talked over, being belittled. And before anyone asks how I can call my mom a great mom despite this, I want to say I believe she has a lot of misplaced anger after being used and abused for literally her whole life causing her to be secretive (hence me not knowing her true age) and avoidant at times, so I don't blame her for her mental state, and she is aware of what she has put us through and feels guilty but that doesn't change the past.

Now on to what happened Sunday night

My mother works hard to put me through college and I am forever grateful for all the sacrifices she has made. Two days ago, Brian, my mother, and I went grocery shopping so I could restock my fridge and cabinets at my apartment. I had a cart full of groceries and the state I live in charges for grocery bags so we brought our own but we only had 4 so the bags were pretty heavy. About a week ago, Jason put a 40-pack case of water in my car trunk and the trunk floor caved in. So when it was time to load up the trunk with groceries, I needed help lifting up the floor because every time I try, I hurt my hand. I asked my mom to help me and she ignored me and sat in the car. Prior to this, when we were inside the store getting ready to check out, she asked Brian to hurry and get a case of water for her, he looked at me and said I should get it because I have the cart so I gave him the cart because I am not lifting a case of water when a male is present (Brian is young but he is very muscular). He refused to get the water so my mom said never mind and I could sense her attitude afterward. I ended up loading the groceries onto the conveyor belt and packing them by myself. Back to outside at the car, I had a glass bottle in my hand from the soda I was drinking and I smashed it the on the ground out of frustration that she once again ignored me. She got out of the car and kept asking me what that was and I kept saying nothing. Following this Brian went in the car as well, so I was once again left alone to do everything by myself. The drive home was quiet and tense and when I got in the house, Jason sensed something was wrong with me and I gave him the run down, but I couldn't even say 5 words without my mom cutting me off, I was growing more frustrated and yelled "don't talk over me, respect me the way you want to be respected". that didn't work and she kept talking over me so i got louder and that's when things got physical. She came at me so I started hitting back in self-defense. The first time, she had me pinned to the living room floor then I got up and things moved to the front door. I was in shock that I hit my mother because I never imagined I would ever do something like that. At the same time, I've had enough.

The following morning, all I said was good morning and see you later before I took the hour-long journey back to my apartment. Upon my arrival to my apartment, she sent a half-ass apology saying sorry if she offended but of course still managed to play the victim like always then she made a group chat with my brothers and I and said she hopes she will be appreciated in her next life, like give me a break!!!!!!!!! Once I was calm enough to send a mature reply, all she sent me was a thumbs up and we have not spoken since. It is eating at me because I love my mother and we don't ever go a day without speaking, even if we are busy we will text or have a brief phone call about our days, any updates, say i love you good night, etc.

Oh yeah, she didn't forget to mention that I hit her in the face but I guess her scratching me and tearing my clothes doesn't matter.

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What can I do to break the silence so things can go back to normal? I will add i "apologised" by saying "sorry i hit you in self defense" so I guess it was condescending, but I do regret hitting my mother, it truly was a defensive reflex but I don't regret telling her that she is disrespectful to me. I told her she should seek counselling or do whatever she needs to do to get help

Hi there, I'm looking for advice about my new housemates. Myself and my partner have moved to a new city and we looked for a place to stay to settle and get a feel for the new city. We went for a two bedroom apartment with another couple. The other couple had been living there for a while and had previously shared a space with a friend of theirs. The friend moved out and they advertised the room.

The other couple are both working professionals in their early to mid 30s, both are quite sporty and seem to enjoy travel. That's about all we know after a few weeks staying here. We try to get some conversations going but it's usually surface level or we have to drag it out of them. They also tend to stay in their room a lot despite the living room being plenty big. They have been very welcoming to us, but it feels like they want to keep a distance with us. We've offered several times if they would like to watch something on the TV but they always politely decline and go to their room. If we stay in our room or aren't there when they are, they will use the TV and the living room more. I think that they think they're being nice and letting us feel at home, while we are feeling like we must be on our best behaviour and not change things. It feels more like an airbnb with the owners being there.

I'm probably not articulating this properly but it feels like this is just a transactional relationship. I mean, it is, but I want to talk to them about this but I don't know how to phrase it. We're going to be sharing this place for 6 months, so I'd like to be at least friendly, if not friends. It's a nice sized apartment but it's not big enough for 4 people to avoid each other or attempt a timeshare. I may be blowing this out of proportion but it's starting to get to me and I like to be sure I'm not reading too much into it.

PLEASE HELP!!

I'm losing my mind at the moment. I recently moved into a new trailer home in February that is still owned by the previous owner, via a mortgage that still needs to be paid off, but a lien tied to it as well, which is due on May 1st.

The mortgage company I was originally working with, decided to reject my loan application at the last minute, because my debt-to-income ratio is "6% outside of their required debt-to-income ratio".

My wife is taking care of our 2 kids, and we recently lost our personal vehicle to a mechanical failure that we couldn't afford. (I use a company vehicle that I can take home, but is strictly for work). So I'm the only one making any money. If she had a job, and they paid weekly, I guarantee we'd get the paystubs in time to show that we can cover the missing 6% debt-to-income ratio. But once again, we don't have a vehicle, so she couldn't even bring the kids to daycare to do a remote job.

I'm making WELL more than enough to handle the loan, but they decided to be extra picky at the last minute.

I've called over 20+ banks, lenders and private loan officers, and nobody does mobile home loans for homes that are still on the community park land. Lots of then stopped doing those loans around 1-2 years ago (perfect timing, huh??)

I can't find ANYONE who does this loan. If I can't find a lender and get the loan by May 1st, my entire family and I, will be homeless.

I am really running out of options here, and I don't know what to do.

Does anyone in Minnesota know of a lender that can work with me??? Or even anywhere that works with mobile homes and can work with my location??

I just need a $50k loan by May 1st to cover the lien of the original home owner, once that's done with, it will be a smooth sail and I could finally breathe and relax.

I've already provided a $10k non-refundable downpayment to the homeowner, along with contract stating that I've paid in full, as well as the deed contract that states that I'm paying him off for the house.

I really need help. This shouldn't be a problem for me, especially when I'm making $25/hr and we get 70hrs per week, so 30hrs of OT per week. I'm clearly making money, but all these companies are expecting millionaires to apply, apparently.

What do I do?!?!?!

This is something I have talked about on some posts but haven't found any advice for yet.

Basically: when I realise I might have some prejudice or negative idea internalized, I start feeling like sh*t. Like, I start thinking that I'm the worst person in the world and end up getting into an endless circle of guilt, instead of focusing on how I can improve and change my mind on those ideas —in case it's true, I have OCD and depression so it's hard to guess whether they're real or intrusive thoughts instead—.

I know that just because a thought crosses my mind it doesn't mean it's real, but when it reaches a point when I feel it actually is, how can I change it without feeling like garbage?

In case you're wondering, I've been going to therapy for almost 6 years and my current psychologist —I've had to change 4 times because most end up leaving the insurance I'm in— told me that I need to remember that "having x thought ≠ you aren't worthy". But they didn't explain to me the mental process to do so, not that I remember at least...

So yeah, I'd be truly grateful for any nice piece of advice. I'm not in the worst situation ever, but I definitely feel really bad when this happens, and the more it does, the more sad and depressed I feel... And I don't want to live this way, so scared and judging every single thing that crosses my mind...

Thanks in advance for your help, take care!

Context: I am 29f, both friends are 28f. They have been best friends for like ~10 years, I have recently (in past two years) become very close with them. We do a lot together and have always had fun together. I understand that they have a lot more history with their friendship and they are closer with each other than with me, which I completely understand.

Situation: about a month ago, one of my friends, let’s call her M, started being a little passive aggressive towards me (ignoring me in groups, not making eye contact). At first I thought she was dealing with some external factors (she’s in med school, and has a history of making it known when she’s upset) so I checked in with her about school. Over the past few interactions we’ve had (in group settings, where we were drinking), there has been increased tension coming from her. I was going to ask her privately if she was okay and if I did anything to upset her, but we were all getting together again in a group at a beer garden that day. Before she got there, I asked our other friend, B, if M was okay. I said that I had noticed that she was not acting normal and was also feeling that she was upset with me, and told her I was going to talk to her over the next week. B told me that nothing was wrong, and when I told her I had been reeling over the situation for the past few weeks, and was going through my past texts with M to figure out if I said anything or did anything, she said don’t worry. I still had intentions of asking M, but I didn’t feel too urgent and could wait the day. Anyways, there was more passive aggressiveness towards me once M arrived at the beer garden, and I then overheard M and B talking about me later that day. B mentioned she “played dumb” when I asked. I know I should have confronted M earlier, but I honestly had been feeling like she was just going through school stuff, and was used to this behavior. I’m hurt about the whole situation, and still don’t know why I have been given the silent treatment, and really don’t know how to approach it now. Do I mention that I overheard them? I’m planning on reaching out to M over the next day or two to check in and ask what is going on between us, but based on their conversation I’m feeling extra hurt, confused, and lost. It has been feeling like mean girl energy towards me.

Anyways, any advice appreciated. And please be kind! I know I should have reached out sooner but this is where I’m at.

For some months now I've been struggling with something that has made me unable to live life. For any body movements I have to make a conscious effort. When I watch a movie I can only stare at the middle of the screen unless I make a conscious effort to move my eyes. When I walk I have to focus my mind on moving my legs.

It really sucks, I can't do anything and I don't know where this comes from.

What could this be a symptom of?