/r/stilltrying

Photograph via snooOG

A middle place for people TTC. When TTC isn't fun any more this place is for you. Maybe you are thinking about/pursuing treatment or maybe you are just STILL trying.

This subreddit is for women / men who have been trying to conceive for a little while. Perhaps you are just waiting a few more cycles to start infertility treatments, or you are just starting them. Maybe you have an underlying condition that you know means it will take you a bit longer than the rest. Read this Do I belong here post if you still have questions

Spoiler tags look like this: [This is another spoiler](#spoiler)

This is a safe place for people to vent their frustrations and discuss our treatment options or our plans for conceiving. Any negative or hurtful comments will be removed.

Subreddit Rules

BFP Posts BFP posts go in the bi-weekly results thread. If you are having trouble locating it, it is linked in the text of the daily post.

Use Spoilers / TW for loss Please use spoiler tags and/or trigger warnings when discussing loss or previous pregnancies..

No cutesy terms This is the "medium place" (except without Mindy St. Claire) and we don't expect everyone to know all the technical details, but please avoid cutesy terms like "BD". Embryo Results Please put a spoiler tag on embryo results. They can be triggering for some. Share them, but let people decide if they want to know.

No discussions of current pregnancies or existing children This sub is intended for those that are currently trying to conceive. A list of subreddits for pregnancy can be found below. Please do not discuss existing children outside of the weekly secondary infertility thread. We understand that occasionally in discussing infertility it may come up and in those situations we ask that you please put a content warning in your threads.

Grad participation Grads should be mindful that their presence may be triggering. Please reserve participation to the results threads and topics you have specialized knowledge on. No discussion of ongoing pregnancies is allowed. This sub is intended for those who are currently trying, which includes trying for another. This means that if you graduated in the past and are now back, this rule doesn't apply to you (so long as you follow the rules around not mentioning living children).

Misinformation Our sub culture supports science and accurate information. Anecdotal stories are allowed but anything that is known to be false information will be corrected or removed.

No direct linking to images / memes Please give a bit of context with any images or memes you may want to post in the subreddit. Share why you think the image is important to you and how it has helped you! No Line Porn Not sure if OPK / HCG is positive? Ask in /r/TFABLinePorn instead.

No throw-aways I know sometimes we have to ask questions that we don't want attached to your main because a family member might know our main account, however we ask that you avoid using them in this subreddit. Many people have two accounts, one for trying to conceive and another for their day to day reddit usage, this might be a better solution. Throw-away accounts mean that we don't know a lot about your history and it makes it hard for us to know whats going on and understand each other.

Research We're happy to allow our members to be asked to participate in research projects for universities and other public institutions. Please contact a moderator for approval before posting. Unapproved posts will be removed.

Personal or Business Soliciting Please do not post any kind of soliciting posts (this includes personal blogs / youtube channels). If you have any questions about if your post may fit into this topic please do not hesitate to message the moderators for help.

More subreddits you might like

Before the bump

/r/tryingforababy

/r/TTC30

/r/infertility

/r/TFABLinePorn

/r/maleinfertility

/r/TFABchartstalkers

/r/trollingforababy

/r/miscarriage

/r/ttcafterloss

/r/babyloss

/r/waiting_to_try

/r/TTC_PCOS

/r/Prolactinoma

 

To the bump and beyond

/r/BabyBumps

/r/CautiousBB

/r/BB30

/r/plussizedpregnancy

/r/infertilitybabies

/r/ketobabies

/r/namenerds

/r/Mommit

/r/Daddit

/r/preDaddit

/r/parenting

/r/hcgifs

/r/stilltrying

8,663 Subscribers

1

Monthly Results Thread

Update us on a positive or negative test here. While positives must stay in the results thread, feel free to share negative results in the regular chat, if you prefer. Please refrain from posting updates on an ongoing pregnancy in the results thread. This includes positive ultrasounds.

1 Comment
2024/12/01
16:00 UTC

0

TMI Discharge

I just got stretchy discharge with a slight tint of pink, I’m CD12, what could this be?

3 Comments
2024/11/30
04:06 UTC

2

Self Care Saturday

Tell us what you’re doing to take care of yourself this weekend! Are you cooking or eating something good? Watching a fun movie or tv show? Going out? Staying in? We want to hear about it!

Normal subreddit rules apply.

3 Comments
2024/11/29
20:00 UTC

2

Intros and updates: What’s everyone up to?

Use this thread to introduce yourself or give updates on where you've been, where you're at, and what's next.

Maybe you haven't posted in awhile, maybe you're a lurker waiting for the right time to join us, maybe you're a regular - come say hi and let us know what you've been up to. Check in with each other and then come over to the weekly chat thread or discord (link found in the sidebar) for more support and discussions!

Normal subreddit rules apply.

1 Comment
2024/11/28
20:00 UTC

0

Feeling defeated

Feeling defeated

I’m 24 and me and my partner have been together nearly 2 years married 6 months and I feel so defeated. We are currently seeing an endocrinologist and I’m on my second round of Letrozole, the first round went great, I ovulated my progesterone level was 22.6 7DPO but didn’t conceive unfortunately.

I feel like I’m going everything I can and I’m still not conceiving, I’m trying to not let it get to me but I truly feel so defeated and depressed regarding it all.

2 Comments
2024/11/28
16:32 UTC

1

Weekly Chat Thread - Thursday Nov 28, 2024

What's going on in your life at the moment?

Click here for the monthly results thread

1 Comment
2024/11/28
01:00 UTC

1

Letrezole ovulation day

I've had 2 cycles of letrezole so far

2.5mg I ovulated in day 29

5mg and I'm currently on day 32, no ovulation yet.

If anything, I thought doubling my dose would have me ovulating in a normal range..

So confused, does anymore who still ovulated late on letrezole have insight from their experience?

6 Comments
2024/11/27
10:15 UTC

2

A Ritual for Bad Outcomes

Rituals are important in every society, but they tend to focus on positive moments (graduations, weddings, etc), and there are very few meaningful spaces or rituals for infertility and pregnancy loss (Japan’s mizuko kuyō, or “water child” shrines, are an exception that you can read more about on this wikipedia page ). October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and at 7pm that night, people light a candle for their losses. But what about the times in between when people want to mourn their losses? And what about the other reasons we in the infertility community have for grieving?

Rituals are important for processing our emotions and gaining closure, which is why at the end of each month, we’ll be providing an opportunity for people to create their own ritual for whatever it is their grieving and share it here. This post will be shared a few days before the end of each month. The idea is that with the closing of the month, you can take some time to reflect on your recent grief, perform a ritual, and do some processing, with the possibility of being a bit more ready for the new month and the possibilities it holds.

This thread is intentionally loose on guidelines in order to be as inclusive of possible. You might be mourning something tangible, like a miscarriage, failed transfer, failed IUI, or failed timed intercourse cycle. Maybe you’re grieving that your IVF results aren’t as good as you hoped, and are feeling sad about your abnormal embryos, or the fertilized eggs that didn’t survive to become embryos, or the fact that your IVF cycle yielded no embryos at all. Perhaps you’re pursuing donor eggs or donor embryos are are grieving the loss of a genetic connection. Maybe you’ve gotten a heavy diagnosis. Maybe you’re sad that you’ve been benched and haven’t been able to do any treatment in the last month, or that you’re still waiting for an appointment at a clinic, or that you don’t have insurance coverage and need to save, or simply can’t afford certain treatments. Maybe a close friend or relative announced their pregnancy or had a baby, and you’re sad that you can’t fully feel happy for them while navigating your own infertility. Maybe you’re just grieving the fact that you’re here at all. Remember, there are no pain olympics here, and no matter what it is that you’re grieving, your pain is valid.

The idea here is to hold space and honor the different types of grief that we are all experiencing, and give ourselves a dedicated time to process the hardships and traumas of the month. This is not a toxic positivity thing: there is no expectation that because you’ve done a ritual that you should now be able to magically move on. This is simply a chance for us to process some feelings, which is an essential part of healing and not something that we get the opportunity to do in a society where most of us don’t even share our struggles with others, share our rituals, and support each other.

I did some research on grief rituals, and here’s a list of options that fit within our context. This is just a starting point - feel free to create your own or modify these as you see fit. You are welcome to share a photo and/or describe your ritual and what it is you’re grieving at this moment.

  • Light a special candle used only for your ritual purposes
  • Burn incense or sandalwood (Sage is endangered, making it scarce for the Indigenous people who use it for religious and cultural purposes, so I’m leaving it off this list - obviously if you’re someone who uses it in religious/cultural ways this doesn’t apply to you).
  • Write down the thing(s) you are grieving and want to let go of and then burn the piece of paper
  • Create a work of art
  • Plant a tree or flowers, or buy yourself flowers or a plant
  • Take a walk in nature and reflect on the cyclical nature of the seasons and how spring always follows winter. We are in our own personal winters, but nature reminds us that no matter how cold, dark, and sad, spring always follows eventually.
  • Read or say aloud an inspirational verse, poem, or prayer
  • Play or sing a specific song
  • Ring a chime or a bell

These ones apply more to feelings of loss to me, but might be a good option for those who have gone through a miscarriage or feel some other form of loss, such as a failed transfer (loss of the embryo):

  • Make a donation to a charity that reminds you of the lost loved one (a friend of mine who had a stillbirth organizes walks for March of Babies (part of March of Dimes) in honor of the son she lost).
  • Carrying something special that reminds you of your loved one that you can take out and hold when you feel the need, such as a “worry stone.”
  • Create a “place” memory - a certain spot outdoors that you designate for being connected to the lost child that you can visit when you want to remember and feel close to them, such as a certain tree, spot in your yard, or bench in a park.

Over the next few days, up until the last day of the month, this space will be for sharing what you’re grieving and the ritual you did to honor and process your grief. Feel free to link to a photo of your ritual. You’re also welcome to simply write about what you’re grieving without doing a separate ritual - the writing is the ritual in that case.

1 Comment
2024/11/26
21:00 UTC

1

Self Care Saturday

Tell us what you’re doing to take care of yourself this weekend! Are you cooking or eating something good? Watching a fun movie or tv show? Going out? Staying in? We want to hear about it!

Normal subreddit rules apply.

1 Comment
2024/11/22
20:00 UTC

1

Weekly Chat Thread - Thursday Nov 21, 2024

What's going on in your life at the moment?

Click here for the monthly results thread

1 Comment
2024/11/21
01:00 UTC

0

Have anyone tried (Clomiphene Citrate)?

I have seen a lot about this pills that helps to ovulate and get pregnant and I’ve seen people saying it works, I bought them and took 1 pill (50mg) every night for 5 days, and having sex since then every 2 days until my fertile windows close and just wait for the outcome, but I’d like to know if anyone else have tried it in this server? Most of the info i find is in spanish servers, not much in the English one..

I (24F) my partner (31M) been TTC for 2 years now, and I feel this is one of my last chances tho Im still young.

4 Comments
2024/11/20
17:45 UTC

2

Switching from Letrozole to IVF after 2 Rounds??

I have been seeing an RE for 3 months now after being diagnosed with lean PCOS. I had a lot of hope originally, but yesterday that dropped.

My first month on letrozole 2.5mg, my follicles didn’t grow. I was put on provera. Month 2 - I had an active cyst (presumably because I didn’t ovulate). I waited a week from my baseline, and they saw it was decreasing, so I was prescribed 5mg. Bloodwork showed I ovulated but I am convinced this wasn’t a normal cycle because of the cyst. Month 3 - I took 5mg again, but no trigger shot because my LH was surging.

I received a call yesterday and my RE asked if I was ready to switch to IVF?? For someone with regular periods (despite PCOS) I was shocked by this. I’m turning 33, but I still feel like I have some time? My husband and I have been wanting TI to work, but do they know something I don’t know? All my tests came back clear minus the PCOS.

How many months on letrozole is standard? I feel like I ovulated successfully for the first time the last round, but I’d least like to try a trigger shot or something else before giving up on TI. Please help!

17 Comments
2024/11/20
12:59 UTC

1

amh 15.2 pmol/l is that ok

amh 15.2 pmol/l is that ok. I have 36 year and traying to get pregnet. Thank you

8 Comments
2024/11/20
12:41 UTC

0

AMH 15.2 pmol/l is that ok?

amh 15.2 pmol/l is that ok? I am 36 years old and we have been trying to conceive for 3 months. All other hormones are fine.

1 Comment
2024/11/20
00:23 UTC

1

Monthly Secondary Infertility Thread

Welcome to the monthly secondary infertility thread. This is a free space to discuss issues relating to secondary infertility without pesky content warnings.

As always you may discuss things anywhere in the sub, but outside of here you must use a content warning.

Women with primary infertility are welcome to comment or ask questions here.

The same rules apply here as they do outside this thread (except the content warning) and any type of insulting or negative comments will not be tolerated.

Those with secondary fertility are always welcome in this sub, and this weekly post will still be here, but if you want a full sub dedicated to secondary infertility there's the wonderful place of /r/SecondaryInfertility you can also participate in.

1 Comment
2024/11/19
14:00 UTC

5

TTC for 7 months, 37 years old, booked two fertility testing appointments, should I keep both?

We’ve been TTC for 7 months so decided to make an appointment for testing. In October I found a female Obgyn online, but she wasn’t available till early December but I booked anyway (took this route assuming it was a good idea to use it as an opportunity to “date” the doctor who might end up looking after me for pregnancy/birth, if that ever happens).

We are traveling back to our home country second week of December for Christmas, so I realized that if she orders follow up testing like sperm analysis it might not be possible before we leave for a month. From what I understand she might order it at a third party fertility clinic.

So then I decided this week to just call a nearby fertility clinic to see what their schedule looked like and found a male doctor who specializes in IVF and can see us very soon. So I booked that for the week before the other female Obgyn. I figure the benefit there is that he specializes in IVF and there might be less extra steps to getting all the necessary testing done.

So Im definitely going to the fertility appt but do you think it’s worth keeping the OBGYN one too for the purposes of shopping around and getting a second opinion? I know doctors can be very different in terms of what and when they test, and generally finding a good personality match, so figured it wouldn’t hurt to see both?

We’re new to this so would love any thoughts from others. Bear in mind that we’re really hoping / not interested yet in pursuing IVF, we’re just wanting to understand if there are any detectable hurdles we could resolve to conceiving naturally. Thanks!

4 Comments
2024/11/17
02:11 UTC

3

Self Care Saturday

Tell us what you’re doing to take care of yourself this weekend! Are you cooking or eating something good? Watching a fun movie or tv show? Going out? Staying in? We want to hear about it!

Normal subreddit rules apply.

1 Comment
2024/11/15
20:01 UTC

1

Weekly Chat Thread - Thursday Nov 14, 2024

What's going on in your life at the moment?

Click here for the monthly results thread

1 Comment
2024/11/14
01:00 UTC

2

Self Care Saturday

Tell us what you’re doing to take care of yourself this weekend! Are you cooking or eating something good? Watching a fun movie or tv show? Going out? Staying in? We want to hear about it!

Normal subreddit rules apply.

1 Comment
2024/11/08
20:01 UTC

1

Weekly Chat Thread - Thursday Nov 07, 2024

What's going on in your life at the moment?

Click here for the monthly results thread

1 Comment
2024/11/07
01:00 UTC

1

Self Care Saturday

Tell us what you’re doing to take care of yourself this weekend! Are you cooking or eating something good? Watching a fun movie or tv show? Going out? Staying in? We want to hear about it!

Normal subreddit rules apply.

1 Comment
2024/11/01
20:01 UTC

1

Monthly Results Thread

Update us on a positive or negative test here. While positives must stay in the results thread, feel free to share negative results in the regular chat, if you prefer. Please refrain from posting updates on an ongoing pregnancy in the results thread. This includes positive ultrasounds.

1 Comment
2024/11/01
16:00 UTC

1

Weekly Chat Thread - Thursday Oct 31, 2024

What's going on in your life at the moment?

Click here for the monthly results thread

1 Comment
2024/10/31
01:00 UTC

2

Intros and updates: What’s everyone up to?

Use this thread to introduce yourself or give updates on where you've been, where you're at, and what's next.

Maybe you haven't posted in awhile, maybe you're a lurker waiting for the right time to join us, maybe you're a regular - come say hi and let us know what you've been up to. Check in with each other and then come over to the weekly chat thread or discord (link found in the sidebar) for more support and discussions!

Normal subreddit rules apply.

1 Comment
2024/10/28
20:00 UTC

3

A Ritual for Bad Outcomes

Rituals are important in every society, but they tend to focus on positive moments (graduations, weddings, etc), and there are very few meaningful spaces or rituals for infertility and pregnancy loss (Japan’s mizuko kuyō, or “water child” shrines, are an exception that you can read more about on this wikipedia page ). October 15th is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and at 7pm that night, people light a candle for their losses. But what about the times in between when people want to mourn their losses? And what about the other reasons we in the infertility community have for grieving?

Rituals are important for processing our emotions and gaining closure, which is why at the end of each month, we’ll be providing an opportunity for people to create their own ritual for whatever it is their grieving and share it here. This post will be shared a few days before the end of each month. The idea is that with the closing of the month, you can take some time to reflect on your recent grief, perform a ritual, and do some processing, with the possibility of being a bit more ready for the new month and the possibilities it holds.

This thread is intentionally loose on guidelines in order to be as inclusive of possible. You might be mourning something tangible, like a miscarriage, failed transfer, failed IUI, or failed timed intercourse cycle. Maybe you’re grieving that your IVF results aren’t as good as you hoped, and are feeling sad about your abnormal embryos, or the fertilized eggs that didn’t survive to become embryos, or the fact that your IVF cycle yielded no embryos at all. Perhaps you’re pursuing donor eggs or donor embryos are are grieving the loss of a genetic connection. Maybe you’ve gotten a heavy diagnosis. Maybe you’re sad that you’ve been benched and haven’t been able to do any treatment in the last month, or that you’re still waiting for an appointment at a clinic, or that you don’t have insurance coverage and need to save, or simply can’t afford certain treatments. Maybe a close friend or relative announced their pregnancy or had a baby, and you’re sad that you can’t fully feel happy for them while navigating your own infertility. Maybe you’re just grieving the fact that you’re here at all. Remember, there are no pain olympics here, and no matter what it is that you’re grieving, your pain is valid.

The idea here is to hold space and honor the different types of grief that we are all experiencing, and give ourselves a dedicated time to process the hardships and traumas of the month. This is not a toxic positivity thing: there is no expectation that because you’ve done a ritual that you should now be able to magically move on. This is simply a chance for us to process some feelings, which is an essential part of healing and not something that we get the opportunity to do in a society where most of us don’t even share our struggles with others, share our rituals, and support each other.

I did some research on grief rituals, and here’s a list of options that fit within our context. This is just a starting point - feel free to create your own or modify these as you see fit. You are welcome to share a photo and/or describe your ritual and what it is you’re grieving at this moment.

  • Light a special candle used only for your ritual purposes
  • Burn incense or sandalwood (Sage is endangered, making it scarce for the Indigenous people who use it for religious and cultural purposes, so I’m leaving it off this list - obviously if you’re someone who uses it in religious/cultural ways this doesn’t apply to you).
  • Write down the thing(s) you are grieving and want to let go of and then burn the piece of paper
  • Create a work of art
  • Plant a tree or flowers, or buy yourself flowers or a plant
  • Take a walk in nature and reflect on the cyclical nature of the seasons and how spring always follows winter. We are in our own personal winters, but nature reminds us that no matter how cold, dark, and sad, spring always follows eventually.
  • Read or say aloud an inspirational verse, poem, or prayer
  • Play or sing a specific song
  • Ring a chime or a bell

These ones apply more to feelings of loss to me, but might be a good option for those who have gone through a miscarriage or feel some other form of loss, such as a failed transfer (loss of the embryo):

  • Make a donation to a charity that reminds you of the lost loved one (a friend of mine who had a stillbirth organizes walks for March of Babies (part of March of Dimes) in honor of the son she lost).
  • Carrying something special that reminds you of your loved one that you can take out and hold when you feel the need, such as a “worry stone.”
  • Create a “place” memory - a certain spot outdoors that you designate for being connected to the lost child that you can visit when you want to remember and feel close to them, such as a certain tree, spot in your yard, or bench in a park.

Over the next few days, up until the last day of the month, this space will be for sharing what you’re grieving and the ritual you did to honor and process your grief. Feel free to link to a photo of your ritual. You’re also welcome to simply write about what you’re grieving without doing a separate ritual - the writing is the ritual in that case.

1 Comment
2024/10/26
20:00 UTC

1

Self Care Saturday

Tell us what you’re doing to take care of yourself this weekend! Are you cooking or eating something good? Watching a fun movie or tv show? Going out? Staying in? We want to hear about it!

Normal subreddit rules apply.

1 Comment
2024/10/25
20:00 UTC

2

Weekly Chat Thread - Thursday Oct 24, 2024

What's going on in your life at the moment?

Click here for the monthly results thread

1 Comment
2024/10/24
00:00 UTC

1

Am I overreacting

My husband's brother and his wife have 4 children. They recently underwent IVF to have a fifth.

My husbands father posted about the birth of this child on Facebook... then proceeded to send out a mass text, including one to me.

I'm not upset about the Facebook post, but the text felt very invasive. His father knows how long we've been struggling to get pregnant, and we recently failed IVF.

I sent a message, briefly letting my husband's father letting me know how this hurt me.

Am I overreacting?

4 Comments
2024/10/21
12:21 UTC

2

Monthly Secondary Infertility Thread

Welcome to the monthly secondary infertility thread. This is a free space to discuss issues relating to secondary infertility without pesky content warnings.

As always you may discuss things anywhere in the sub, but outside of here you must use a content warning.

Women with primary infertility are welcome to comment or ask questions here.

The same rules apply here as they do outside this thread (except the content warning) and any type of insulting or negative comments will not be tolerated.

Those with secondary fertility are always welcome in this sub, and this weekly post will still be here, but if you want a full sub dedicated to secondary infertility there's the wonderful place of /r/SecondaryInfertility you can also participate in.

1 Comment
2024/10/19
13:00 UTC

2

Self Care Saturday

Tell us what you’re doing to take care of yourself this weekend! Are you cooking or eating something good? Watching a fun movie or tv show? Going out? Staying in? We want to hear about it!

Normal subreddit rules apply.

1 Comment
2024/10/18
20:00 UTC

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