I won’t bore you with the details but caught my son in a web of lies this week. After giving him some freedom and independence to meet his friends to play outside I found out he’s been going somewhere else instead, a place I have warned him not to go. He’s been going there almost daily, doing things he’s not aloud to do at home, then comes home and lies about where he’s been. He’s an exceptionally well behaved kid so this is such a shock. We just got back from a holiday of a lifetime that I spent thousands of dollars on for his birthday. And to find out he’s been lying to me almost every day… I’m absolutely heartbroken. I have an ache in my chest over it. I don’t know how to forgive him and I feel guilty for feeling so betrayed by him. I don’t want to hold a grudge against him but I just don’t know how to shake off this feeling. I can not believe he would do this to me.

I have a 7 year old with ADHD. They are medicated (lasts through school hours) and able to behave pretty well at school—for whatever reason, my child seems affected by the behavior chart system at school and does not want to be publicly shamed.

The problem is, at home, (even on weekend and still medicated for the day) they are defiant and rude. When I say defiant, I mean they hear requests and say ‘but i want to…’ or just doesn’t speak and continues doing what they want.

Basically my kid has their own agenda and doesn’t give a crap about what anyone wants them to do. Another example is, at a local playground/park, one of the moms told my kid and a bunch of other kids that were around not to touch her dog as they were anxious and didn’t like it. Well, my child just kept. On. Touching. The. Poor. Freakin. Dog.

Recently our nanny who’s here for a couple hours with my child after school has resigned. My child has attempted to spit on her twice (via raspberry type mouth movements directed at her) —why? For kindly asking my kid to clean up their toys. I don’t blame her for resigning.

We’ve tried punishments, rewards, and if anything works it’s only for a short amount of time. On top of it all, my kid never apologizes or shows guilt/remorse for any rude or bad behavior. I find this to be particularly worrisome and really sad. I have other kids who are neurotypical and are absolute angels in comparison.

Just wondering if anyone out there could offer…anything. Feeling pretty hopeless here.

I just don’t know how to handle these feelings. We used to live with my IL’s. I took my son & moved out because she was constantly insulting me, bad mouthing me, took my help for granted & finally one morning assaulted & hit me. She also threw herself over me while I was preparing my son’s breakfast. I had a knife in my hand. She wasn’t cut or anything… but I’ve worked very hard in school to become a CNA & am currently in school for nursing. Had this altercation gone all the way to the left & either of us would have called the police, everything I’ve worked for would have went down the drain. I did not hit her back or defend myself in any way other than blocking her hands from my face. I moved out that day. She did all of this in front of my son.

She’s tried texting me like nothing ever happened & told all of her friends/SIL, that I was the one who hit her, continued berating me to anyone who would listen. I’ve tried shoving my anger down & moving forward. I’m finding it very difficult to forgive. I refuse to be in the same room as her & the only reason my son goes there once a month is because I have to work.

She keeps buying things for him & is pissed that I won’t let SO bring them to my house. So a bunch of crap is just piling up that she keeps buying for no reason. I don’t want anything from her. I don’t want her buying my kid anything. He has all the toys, clothes, & necessities that he could possibly ever need. He has two strollers & she just bought a third.

Am I wrong? How can I move past this? I’ve been able to keep my cool any time I have had to see her despite her passive aggressive remarks & her literally trying to shove me out of the way to get to my kid. But internally I’m still seething.

I saw someone post earlier asking what you’re really enjoying about this phase of your baby’s life, and I loved seeing all of the positivity and joy in the comments.

But now I’ve gotta ask - what are ya’ll excited to experience in the future (even if it’s just your child not doing what they currently are 😂)??

My son is 11 months and babbling up a storm. He’s also developed a “toddler smile” that’s mischievous asf and I love it so much. On one hand I wish I could freeze time, on the other I can’t wait to hear him say, “I love you mommy.” I can’t wait to have real conversations with him. I can’t wait to get to know the person that he is.

My wife and I are 38 with 1 kid, a 10 month old son, and have roughly $650k combined saved for retirement between our 401k's. Sometimes we feel like we are falling behind, are worried about retirement, and whether or not we will have enough money to retire one day. This is also one of the reasons we are one and done as the expense of two kids would eat into our savings contributions. Daycare costs for 1 kid is nuts, for 2 kids it would be insanity.

How are parents even expected to save for retirement today?

My oldest LO has just completed kindergarten. They got a couple awards and I am here to ask what the best preservation method is? Lamination? Document protecter? Something else?

Finding mixed reviews on the internet. I just want to keep some of the more interesting ones nice to hopefully resurface at graduation events. Thanks in advance.

I just have to say I have no idea what some people do. I live in a city, where my wife and I both work and make good money. But we are hustling every day throughout the week with our 15 month old and are having another on the way. It's a grind making dinner, cleaning up, setting up his lunch for daycare the next day. I just dont know how other parents do it I see stay at home moms living in a nice area of the city, other parents just casually chilling in an outdoor happy hour with their baby at 5:00 pm. Meanwhile I'm sprinting with my toddler and the stroller to get home while he's yelling at me to feed him snacks so I can get him dinner and put him to bed by 7. Not to mention casual parents strolling around living in $2m houses. Like what do people do?? I just don't get it

How do I explain nicely what autism is, to young children, aged 3-5? Everytime they encounter someone with not-high-functioning autism they feel very scared and they also don't understand their movements. I have previously at the time said "they are just different" but the children still dont really understand. What's the best, most sensitive, tolerant, Respectful way to describe someone living with autism, to young children? Maybe you also have tips on how to get children not to be scared? I'm quite lost.

I have a son that’s just turned 2 (with someone else) and my new partner is expecting our daughter any day now.

The issue I have is she is reluctant to accept my daughter using anything that I could use that I already own for my son. Travel cot, Moses basket, pram etc she had an issue with it all.

The one that’s tipped me over the edge is the fact she said my daughter would not be able to sit in the car seat I currently have and use for my son.

Apparently it won’t be clean and it isn’t any good for her and he’s been unwell before and used the seat.

Personally I think this is absolutely ridiculous.

I think it’s genuinely because it’s not her son, couples that have multiple children together do not buy the same item over and over again every time they have another child.

How should I deal with this? Am I right for being annoyed and feeling like she is making out my son is dirty and some kind of germ and also is she being unreasonable?

I am feeling worthless each day but I don’t show it. I have a 14 month old baby and he’s into phase where he is exploring. He likes going in each corner of the house especially the laundry area and where our bins are. It started a week or two weeks ago when my husband snapped at me and calling me names such as irresponsible or idiot for “not watching our child” that our child never explore that area when he is the one watching. Then when I can’t put my baby to sleep he’s saying I let my child bullies me. That I need to grow up and be an adult.

At first I don’t let comments like these affect me however it gets to me and I’m feeling worthless.

I just wish for him to be kind.

I don’t know, it isn’t that bad I guess. It’s just so constant I can’t deal with it anymore while also being a happy and present wife and mother.

Literally if my stepson is in the room, I can predict with certainty that he is going to interject to patronizingly tell me how to do something I was already doing, confidently correct me on something he’s totally wrong about, or give me unsolicited advice on how to do some basic adult task he has obviously no knowledge of.

It’s hard to overstate how constant it is. If I am walking towards an elevator, he’ll announce “the elevator is this way” and race past me to make it seem like I wouldn’t have found it without him. After I push the elevator button, he will loudly deliberate “UM let’s see it’s on this floor” and hit the button I had already hit, thereby undoing it and pointlessly prolonging our trip. Then he’ll authoritatively ask, “Do you have the passports? You’re going to need them.” despite the fact that I’ve been traveling since before he was born and have never previously forgotten the passports.

When I’ll tend to absolutely lose it is when I ask my husband a question like, “Which terminal is our airline in?” a question my stepson can’t possibly know the answer to, and reliably without fail he’ll answer loudly and arbitrarily before my husband has a chance “it’s probably terminal 2, it’s always in terminal 2 in other airports, it most likely is here too” or some other random unhelpful input that makes it so I can’t hear my husband’s actual answer and I just snap, like stfu and let the knowledgeable adult handle something PLEASE.

This would be annoying no matter what, but he’s 6’3” and loud, towers over me, and just generally comes off as super domineering. It’s not like a little kid where you can just patiently ignore it. He comes off as an intimidating and imposing mansplainer lol.

My phrase I’ve started saying every time is, “If I need help I’ll tell you” but it doesn’t slow the rate much. I’m currently taking space sitting in a far opposite end of an airport lounge, really unsure of how to move forward short of disengaging.

My wife and I are early 30s, millennial parents with a 2 yr old

Like all of our friends LITERALLY have already taken a vacation & left their kids (under 3) with a babysitter or family for like 5-10 nights

In the last 2 years, I can count on my fingers how many dates my wife and I have done alone. We never even spent 1 night away (together)

Frankly I would love to travel with my wife.

I(42) divorced father have a teen (16F) we had a discussion because she don't like I go pick her up after afternoon activities, she want to arrive on her own to home. So I agree only if she can inform me where she is and arrive on agreed time.

Today I leave her at a park that has volleyball courts, we agreed she get home at 16:00 so we can eat together as family, didn't show up, didn't answer calls not messages. Arrived at 19:00 and just told me she stayed more time playing like it was nothing. She only visits on weekends.

Don't know how to handle it. Is more like a rant/vent but if someone have some advice.

I’m a little annoyed because we were reading bedtime stories at night and one of them involved pancakes so my daughter naturally said she wishes we could have some. My husband unthinkingly said we could make them tomorrow morning and she got really excited. I said we have dance in the morning and he said we could do it before that. I looked in the kitchen and we don’t even have the ingredients to make them. Either I’m going to be the bad guy or I’m going to get groceries before 9:00 on a sunday morning just so I can make pancakes before dance lessons.

yay.

My eldest, 5M, has insisted on joining the football (soccer) league. All the boys in his grade are in the league and have played a prior season; this is my son’s first.

However, at game days and training days, he’s lost. He doesn’t have the ball skills the other kids have (surprising despite their age) and he doesn’t know what to do (he ends up just following behind his teammates aimlessly).

I’m more than happy to teach him or even just kick the ball around with him but he never wants to… in the backyard with me, he’d rather play chase… he doesn’t like structured play.

Any tips to get him into it more? He definitely wants to play in the league, if not to do well, then to be part of the group.

Am I expecting too much? He’s literally the worst player and he makes up for it by clowning around. I fear this will affect his confidence long term.

My son is 13 and while there were no concerns before, he’s now got a curve and needs X-rays and follow ups during the rest of his puberty. He’s got a curve to the side and too rounded around the shoulders.

His doctor warned us it can get bad quickly during puberty, and I am worried. How often do you start X-rays every six months and it turns out okay?

We’ve been lucky with getting pregnant with our first two when me started trying. For our third one, my wife is super anxious because of age (which I think is still relatively young) of 35. Though we got pregnant right away again, this time she was pregnant for 6 weeks before she started bleeding on the weekend.

She’s devastated. I was disappointed but because we only knew we were pregnant for 2 weeks, I wasn’t as emotionally attached (ie I want to have another child, yes, but I know this early, anything can happen). She’s taking it much harder, I think also because of the anxiety she has about conceiving this time around.

How do I emotionally support her? She doesn’t want to talk so I’m expressing my support/affection via acts of service (ie minding our kids and doing her chores while she rests).

We seem to be heading into a rough stage of sibling rivalry with our soon to be 5yo and her soon to be 18 month old little brother. What are your hot tips for navigating this age range? 18month old is obviously into everything and generally being a menace 😂 5yo is struggling with knowing if she doesn't want to be bothered she needs to move out of the shared space because she wants to be with her family.

We all hang out in the lounge room mostly, that's where all the toys are etc. We're going to try and set up bit of a seperate space with a play pen for sometimes, but it's a small room so it's not ideal all the time.

My wife (28f) and I (28M) live in the states. My parents and brother live close by while my wife’s parents and close family all live in Colombia. We have an 8 month old baby. Long story short, she’s flying out to Colombia and my parents want to say goodbye at the airport. We are going to invite them to our place the night before but we wanted that day to be just us 3 at the airport. AITA for telling them this?

I’m not sure what to do. Today I felt my husband’s fuse was short. He was impatient and snapped at our 8 year old who was coming along on a road trip he didn’t sign up for, full of errands for things he didn’t need. This was 3 hours of driving all together to the nearest city. Considering that, I worked out a little deal that if he behaved, was helpful (he helped list the things he could do to be helpful), he could have a reward at the end. He was behaving pretty well, but my husband’s expectations are high, in my opinion. At one point, son starts saying he’s hungry. Husband threatens he may not get his reward. I try to smooth things over saying, “it’s okay, he’s just hungry.”

Later my husband refused to go get the reward; he didn’t want to go to the mall. I smoothed it over once again by promising to buy the reward online. Understandably our son was disappointed he couldn’t have his reward today but would have to wait maybe weeks.

Husband snapped soon after again for my son having a little laugh at his expense (grabbing a handful of chips while he was driving, with some of them falling). I hinted at my husband’s fuse being short and he made me repeat that TWICE in a taunting sort of way. I just repeated myself, “maybe your fuse is short”. He spun it on me, apparently “I was the one who got mad at him in public.” Total deflecting. Didn’t even know what he was referring to - it was that petty.

I tried to bring it up this evening to no avail. He thinks I’m being condescending. He also thinks I spoil our kid. Sadly I think our child is misunderstood and not shown nearly enough empathy (mostly from his dad, but I’m not perfect by any means).

Another example of his father’s treatment… with no consideration of my feelings he worked out a deal with our son last week that if he behaved he could have a cell phone (!) HUGE decision we had been adamantly against, but spur of the moment he springs this on our kid (WITHOUT TALKING TO ME FIRST) partly because 1) he wants to see improvement of his behaviour, and 2) doesn’t think he’ll be able to achieve a few days of perfect behaviour anyway, and even made this known to our kid. When I said I didn’t even agree with this, husband abruptly said “let’s call it off then.” Like the flick of a switch. Indifferent. I reminded him our son would be very upset about this, to which my husbands response was plainly, “you know I don’t care about stuff like that.”

I don’t think he understands how a child thinks and feels, nor does he want to. 90% of the time our relationship is fine, good, but this is bothering me and I’m not sure how to address it with him. I really feel for our kid and feel it is my job to protect him from this unfair treatment. But when I try to do this I am at odds with my husband. There’s no winning.

We are even doing a parenting course at the moment but I have finding him very unengaged; I am doing most of the work. He reverts to the old ways.

And if I am overreacting I would be relieved to know this and could try to relax or support my husband more…

I’m pretty sure I’m dealing with some PPA as I have been prone to anxiety in the past. Either way I feel like I’m starting to obsessively check to make sure my little girl (one month) is still breathing.

I hate having to put her in her car seat, and anytime she rides in the car, I have to ride in the back seat with her, usually with my hand reached across on her stomach to make sure I can feel her breathing.

I hate when my husband wears her in our wrap because I don’t feel like he’s vigilant enough or is flippant about making sure she stays in a safe position or isn’t rebreathing air. He wore her earlier to get some stuff done around our home and let me go take a nap. It took me 30 minutes and crying myself to sleep because I was worried he’d get too distracted wearing her and something would happen.

Positional asphyxiation is absolutely petrifying to think about. The fact that it’s silent makes my anxiety and obsessiveness about it even worse probably. But then there’s also SIDS where she could just stop breathing?! I don’t know how to ease this anxiety at all because these are things that can and do happen, so how can I tell myself she’ll just be fine when I can’t guarantee that she will be?

Hi parents! New mom here to a 1 yr old. I’m wondering if there’s some early childhood edu crash course? I’d like to learn about helping my daughter in the best way possible. Thanks!

How do you get over the guilt that comes with the second child? Or is it just me?

Guilty that I can’t give my first as much attention as he’s used to and guilty that I can’t give my second as much attention as I gave my first.

I feel like my newborn spends so much time in her bassinet while with my first I held him all day. I feel so guilty like she’ll think I don’t love her. Probably irrational but skin to skin is a real thing with babies.

I’ve tried a carrier with her but I’m worried she’ll get hurt - my son is 3 and he has had some regressions with his sister coming along - more hitting, kicking, biting, not listening, pooping in his underwear, just generally acting out etc etc. I feel like I’m playing defense the entire time I’m alone with them - today he got mad I couldn’t get him something bc I was breastfeeding his sister and so he ran up and tried to pull her hair and then when I pushed his hand away he tried to slap her head and I pushed him away harder and then he grabbed my hair to pull and was dragging my head down whilst I’m trying to feed her and I yanked him off and yanked on his hair… he started bawling… I feel like such an awful mom. I apologized and we talked about it but idk. How do others do this?? How do you protect your newborn from a younger child while simultaneously keeping both of them alive?

He’s not in daycare, we have a part time nanny but she will be ending with us in two weeks bc my son will be starting preschool, but he doesn’t start preschool until the end of August.

I’m 4 weeks postpartum. Luckily my little girl is so far pretty chill - much more than my son was at her age - but I’ve resorted to quickly feeding her and then putting her back in her bassinet to keep him away from her. But then I feel awful she’s alone in her bassinet all day and night except when I’m feeding her. She’s so sleepy it’s not like she plays much yet.

And then of course I feel awful that my firstborn is so clearly struggling with this change. I’m tired and although we try to do one fun thing a day, we definitely aren’t on the go like we used to be and I simply can’t give him my undivided attention.

In general just feel like I’m failing both of them and like a really shit mom 😭

Any suggestions? Does this get better or easier at all? Am I ruining my newborn? Am I ruining my son?

My son is currently 8, and since last year he has been repeating the last words of his sentences under his breath.

Example:

“Mom can we go to the grocery store?.. (whispers) store”

“I want to play this game.. (whispers) game”

He doesnt do this for every sentence, but he does it quite often throughout the day.

Another thing I observed is when he is sitting at the table, he’s constantly tipping his chair from side to side. Ive asked him to stop many times, but Ive stopped asking because he wont quit it.

Then since last week, he’s been flapping his arms as if he is trying to jiggle his biceps (just trying to give you a mental picture). I asked him why he does that, and he just said it feels good.

Am i looking too far into it?? Academically he seems to be fine.. socially he is a little awkward/quiet. His speech was pretty delayed, but we thought it was because his dad and I are bilingual.

When he was 3-4 years old, if i asked him to repeat a word after me, he would pronounce it completely wrong. When he tried to say “this one!”, he would say “oh-hai”.

I’m starting work in about 4 weeks. My baby is two months and one day old. I’ve been starting to introduce a bottle but baby hasn’t gotten the hang of it yet. I have tried Lansinoh, Pigeon, and narrow Dr Brown nipples. Does anyone have any tips to help with getting her to be able to get a full feed from the bottle? Did it take anyone else a while before baby caught on? Do I just need to keep practicing with her?

I have just been practicing every day when baby is not super super hungry. I’ve rubbed it against her tongue and gums and she’s resting with it in her mouth with her mouth open now but she’s not drinking from it much yet.

I’m so anxious I feel like I can barely function!

for context, when I was 15, doctors told me I’d have a hard time or possibly never conceive. By my 20s, the bitterness of being told it over and over again made me really harden my heart to it, even getting combative. Kind of a “well I didn’t want any anyway so THERE”. I also was suffering major mental health issues I think due to being on too strong of birth control for my needs.

Beginning of last year, I had been off bc for a short period of time and the desire to have kids came back, but we weren’t in a stable place financially and I wanted to live somewhere safer before we started a family.

Fast forward to late summer. We’d just moved into a nice little home in a safer neighborhood. We were using condoms but there was a mishap and to spare all of the details that may be triggering, I had a chemical pregnancy. I was devastated. I felt like I deserved it in some way due to my years of self sabotage, abuse and bitterness I let root in my heart. But that didn’t stop the soul crushing feeling of loss or the hollow ache to be a mom left behind or the “what ifs” as I sobbed thinking about the missed opportunity, like “What if that was my only chance?”.

We started trying, both of us keeping in mind that it may take awhile or may never happen. When I saw that plus sign on the pregnancy test in January, I felt like my heart was going to implode. I waited, though, before getting too excited or telling anyone should it be another chemical pregnancy.

Now here I am, 23w, and I love my son more than life itself. That being said, I’m high risk and my anxiety is through the roof. I’m hyper sensitive, cautious and overly panicky about everything. I research everything I eat, wear, use, etc to make sure it’s safe. I have nightmares every night that I’m bleeding. I’ve been to the ER twice out of panic. I call or message my OB office once a week with concerns. I’m so anxious… and now I realize all of it stems from the chemical pregnancy and that I’m high risk.

We didn’t tell anyone about the chemical pregnancy and now everyone is acting like I’ve lost my marbles for being so anxious.

My question is if you had a chemical pregnancy/miscarriage, how did you cope/are you coping with anxiety during pregnancy?

My 2 year old has entered a phase where bedtime is AWFUL. Just an absolute shit show every night it seems. This after a long period of bedtime being simple, routine, and low stress.

We have tried putting him to bed earlier, that was a joke. We’ve tried later with a little success, but it’s always something. He wants one more toy…. A refill on his water… or more often he wants whatever parent isn’t doing his books/bedtime to do it.

Tonight is a great example. We previewed for him a couple times leading up to bed that daddy would be doing his books. I started bedtime and it was fine. But soon he was demanding mommy.

We caved a couple times in the last… but (and he is our second.. we know the damaging caving will do) we’ve been pretty consistent.

Tonight he started squirming to get out of my arms while demanding mommy… I told him he could get in his crib or do books with me. He kept at it, so he got put in his crib and I left. Currently he’s about 2 minutes away from puking he has been screaming so loud and full bore.

What do you guys do? How do you get past this? Our first didn’t pull this exact move and I just want a return to effing normal evenings. I’m going nuts.

I’ve always thought the idea that “parents should be a united front” was weirdly combative and kind of disrespectful. Obviously it’s good to have a consistent set of rules between the two of you, but I’m talking about correcting poor behavior from the other parent (ie saying something mean, lying).

A lot of people say “don’t compromise their authority in front of the kid, bring it up later in private”. However, if kids can be corrected in front of other people, then adults can too. It’s good to learn that adults can be wrong, and if anything being able to apologize right away will make them respect you more, not less. Children should know that their parents are regular people, not infallible god-kings. It also models how to refrain from doubling down when you’re wrong.

I always hated hearing “I talked to (other parent) about what they said last night, and I explained why it was mean” That’s awesome, but as the person whose feelings were hurt, I get 0 closure.

What are your thoughts on this?

Hey all! Just a silly little post with a question at the end.

I believe my daughter may actually be a giantess. At 8 years old she is 143cm(4ft9in), 39kg(86lbs), and wears a size 6 shoe. I am only 4 inches taller than her and she’s started borrowing my shoes since they are only 1/2 size bigger. She loves to roughhouse with me and she is STRONG; last time, she knocked me flat on my ass. That hurt my pride almost as much as my backside. I should probably enroll her in wrestling or something to hone her talents, idk. Pretty soon she’ll be towering over me. It’s a weird feeling having my kid call me “little” and “short stuff”. Can anyone else relate?

Using a throwaway because I’m a bit embarrassed to say that my now 3.5 year old daughter is not potty trained and is now straight up refusing to. I feel like I “tried” several times around her 2nd birthday and beyond but was met with resistance so I just figured she’s not yet ready. Well now we’re going to enter pre-k this fall and my kid is still in pull-ups.

She is my second child, my first was potty trained around 3 successfully. She is agreeable and easygoing in most other aspects of life except for potty training. I’ve tried buying her underwear with characters she likes, she will straight up scream and cry when I put them on her. Telling me she is going to pee in them. I’ve let her pee in them and it doesn’t seem to deter her. I try to get her to even sit on the potty, a small plastic one not even the real toilet and she screams and cries as if it is a form of torture. Nothing I say, or any reward I could offer will make her even sit on the potty. I’m at a loss and have never experienced such stubbornness around the potty.

I will add that she does have issues with constipation, but at this point all I want her to do is pee on the potty. I feel like I’ve waited too long and the tactics used on littler ones won’t work on her or aren’t working.