/r/Parenting

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/r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting.

You can get advice on potty training, talk about breastfeeding, discuss how to get your baby to sleep or ask if that one weird thing your kid does is normal.

Make this subreddit a better place! Vote and participate in the new section and report rule violations.

/r/Parenting is a subreddit for anything related to the controlled chaos we call parenting.

Do you have a question for parents? Head over to /r/AskParents.

Did your kid say something awesome? Join us at /r/thingsmykidsaid.

Are you a caregiver or nanny? Check out /r/nanny.

We also recommend /r/relationships, /r/legaladvice and /r/family.

Community Rules
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  • Parents/guardians are any person who has substantial decision-making authority in a child's life. However, it’s okay for anyone to comment, provided it’s on-topic and within rules. Indicate you're a parent or guardian, or self-select your user flair, to avoid confusion/accidental moderation. Non-parents/guardians that still have pressing questions for parents can utilize the weekly "Ask Parents Anything" thread in this sub or visit r/AskParents.
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    • Remember the Human! Disagree but remain respectful; don’t insult people or their children, name-call, or be intentionally rude. Bullying, including baiting/antagonizing, and brigading of either individual users or subreddits will not be tolerated. Reporting posts that violate this rule is the best way to get it noticed by the moderation team.
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    • Most content describing sexual acts that involve minors (even when no adults are involved) will usually be removed. Self-exploration and sex can be a normal part of human growth and development. If you are worried your child is outside the range of normal please see a professional for advice. If you are worried about the sexual abuse of a minor please see your child's doctor, local police, or child welfare agency as soon as possible.
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  • Rule S - Things My Kid Said Threads
    • We have the "Things My Kid Said" weekly thread about things your kids have said. Please consider saving your submission for this thread instead!
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    /r/Parenting

    7,487,561 Subscribers

    2

    How to respond to negative behavior?

    Hi, have a 4 year old. We have a routine, reward, and behavioral chart. Plan is have simple X task through the day pick up toys, be respectful, brush your teeth, take a bath and so forth. For non aggressive behavior not listening example three shots to correct then third 4 minute cool off time. For aggressive negative behavior automatic 4 min time out.

    Issue is after 3 time outs trying to figure what we can restrict. Wife doesn't want to do the Kindle because I work nights and she is pregnant our child wakes up at night gives them it as a distraction. We can't do food because we are tying to encourage them to ear. Any suggestions?

    1 Comment
    2024/09/24
    21:05 UTC

    0

    How do you get over the fact that they'll get old :(

    Currently watching my 14 month old's videos from when she was born

    She was such a tiny thing but she's grown so much already

    In a few years, she'll go to school. Have friends. Have crushes. Heartbreaks. Grow up, hit adulthood, experience disappointments and sadness

    She's such a delightful, cheerful little baby but she won't be like this for too long

    Completely irrational post but man, how do you get over this sad realization? Is this why people have multiple kids? I want her to be a baby forever so she can be happy forever :(

    1 Comment
    2024/09/24
    21:02 UTC

    0

    Car stolen with my carseat in it...

    I'm so thankful that my carseat's occupant wasn't with me when it happened, but it's still a nightmare.

    The good news is that my car has been found largely intact, so no accident or anything. The bad news is that the back window was smashed to get into it, meaning there is glass all over the interior, including (presumably) my car seat.

    Is it safe to get it cleaned? Would insurance replace it without the accident? Should I just buy a new one anyhow?

    1 Comment
    2024/09/24
    21:01 UTC

    0

    Teens Sleep with Snapchat On?

    Son is a sophomore and I noticed that data was being used in the middle of the night. So I limited phone use from 11pm to 5am.

    Turns out, the data he was using was leaving Snapchat on with his girlfriend while they both fell asleep. He found out when he wok up and his phone was locked until 5am.

    He tells us he "can't sleep" unless he get back on and check his Snapchat.

    Someone else tell me this is creepy and unhealthy. At a minimum it's an unhealthy reliance on technology. In the extreme, it's an unhealthy relationship, where one or both parties needs to make better, clearer boundaries.

    I'm interested to see what you think and how prevalent this is.

    My son tells me this is "normal behavior," which leads me to believe he's the one being manipulated if it, in fact, is not.

    1 Comment
    2024/09/24
    21:01 UTC

    1

    6 year old extremely disruptive at school

    Hello all. I am hoping someone can give me some advice on how to handle this.

    My 6 year old son started first grade about a month ago, and I have already received 4 phone calls home regarding his behavior. His teacher says that he is disruptive to teachers and classmates at school.

    She started doing a little reward system with him where he can earn a “thumbs up” at different parts of the day, and if he has enough at the end he gets a candy reward. This worked the first week, but hasn’t really worked since. Not only is he no longer getting his “thumbs ups”, but today it escalated and he had to be removed from the group. I have also tried a little reward jar at home, but that also didn’t seem to motivate him beyond the first week.

    We had a little bit of this last year towards the end of kindergarten, which I chalked up to him being ready for summer, but never had any issues at daycare or preschool.

    I am at a loss of what to do. I’m worried for him and stressed out for his teacher. Does anyone have any ideas or helpful advice?

    Thank you!

    5 Comments
    2024/09/24
    20:57 UTC

    2

    Am I doing something wrong?

    I have a 12 year old daughter who chooses to be with her mom over me. I’ve been split up with her mom for about 4 years now and ever since our break up she’s been less and less of a mom. There’s been times where my daughter has cried to me because she hadn’t seen her mom for a while. I was basically left with the responsibility of 2 parents (parenting, paying for extracurricular activities, aiding her with school etc.)These past few months her mom has been a little better with seeing her but I’ve been noticing that when my daughter is with me she acts like she doesn’t wanna be here. She rather choose to be with her mom despite what she’s done to her emotionally. Did I do anything wrong? Is my daughter resenting me? Is this something I should discuss with her? Or am I just overreacting? Don’t know what to do at this point.

    3 Comments
    2024/09/24
    20:45 UTC

    2

    Wife seems incapable of being the "bad guy" with the kids.

    I'm given no choice but to step in over and over when she can't or won't enforce clear lines we've set with our children. They're young, 5 and 3. They are constantly pressing boundaries to see where they are. That's how kids learn.

    My wife and I talk all the time, we are on the same page on parenting. But when it comes to the reality of enforcing that parenting, she'll let my son fully open the banana and start to eat it, after telling him he can't have the banana. Just watch him do it. No escalation. No intervention. Just saying something and then doing nothing to enforce it. She does this constantly with both kids. They know she's not serious and walk all over her. When I'm around, I feel forced to "step in" and end up being the bad guy the kids are mad at for whatever line she originally drew, and then wouldn't stand on.

    It's frustrating and leaves me sour every time.

    I don't like being the bad guy, no one does. I really don't like being the bad guy concerning lines she drew and I wasn't even involved in. I'm at a complete loss for why she can't or won't parent in these moments. I've asked her over and over and always hear something like "I don't know" or "I know I should and I'll try".....and then nothing changes. She's gone as far as getting mad at me for stepping in because she doesn't want the kids to see that. My response has been the same every time, parent them consistently and the way we've discussed and agreed on and I'll never need to step in. She's a great mom in all areas except the authority that comes with being a parent. She's failed to accept that role somehow, and it's such a bummer to me that I need to adopt it as often as I do. I don't want to be "bad guy daddy".

    Any advice?

    2 Comments
    2024/09/24
    20:39 UTC

    8

    Hiding veggies in food

    So I thought it was fairly standard to 'hide' foods your kids won't eat in food but Reddit seems to think that's a violation and traumatic. Example my son's don't like courgettes or aubergine (eggplant) and only one likes peppers. If I'm making a pasta sauce I will roast up said offensive veggies, blend them and add them to the sauce. Personally I care more right now about my kids eating a variety of veggies from a nutritional pov than the long term impact of feeding my child something they don't like. They eat up the pasta no problem and if they asked I wouldn't lie to them about it. If they asked me to stop I'm not sure how I would handle it (they do eat veggies but it tends to be the same ones so not as varied as I think is healthy). To me eating a slice of roasted courgette is very different from it being blended into a food where you can no longer identify it. Where do you draw the line? I mean I don't check what's in a jarred sauce when I'm shopping so I don't think it's any different if I'm making it.

    15 Comments
    2024/09/24
    20:38 UTC

    1

    Teen step son says he feels like he “just exists” has “no emotions” for about a year

    My 15 year old step son has always been kind of introverted. He has gone through a lot but denies feeling any type of way.

    His mother isn’t the nicest person and her and her new husband fight a lot. She constantly talks bad about the people her kids love (myself and father). His step father is constantly “raging” and punches holes in walls. Mother is verbally abusive and so is step father. When step father gets in kids faces mother says “they deserve it”. This has gone on for about 5-6 years. Mother kept son from father, stole holidays, time etc up until court gave father 50% custody and she had to do parenting courses for stealing time. He and his sister were very happy about the decision even though they had asked for more time. My step son is pretty sensitive and I feel he has been internalizing his feelings. He says he’s used to the step dad and that he keeps to himself in his room. For example, His step dad coughed in his face when he was sick knowing my step son is a germaphobe. My step son initially told us and he seemed upset but when asked how he feels he says he doesn’t care, which is not true.

    The idea that he is pushing down his emotions really scares me because he constantly jokes about suicide. Last night he started telling me how he feels like he is just existing and that he feeling like when he does things it’s not him doing them. He also mentioned feeling like he has no emotions despite still laughing and exhibiting other emotions. He said that he has been feeling like this for a year. I’ll also add that he has a lot of anxiety (constantly worries about everything) and has irrational fears. Some days are better than others.

    His dad tells him to stop worrying and being irrational and they laugh at him at his mom’s house. So, I’m thinking this has caused him to internalize more emotions.

    If he is opening up to tell me, I’m thinking he knows it’s not normal to feel the way he does and maybe unconsciously is asking for help. I know boys go through many changes, but did any of you feel this way? Am I overthinking it and maybe I’m not piecing the puzzle correctly? Maybe his upbringing has nothing to do with it and it’s normal for some men?

    3 Comments
    2024/09/24
    20:33 UTC

    1

    My one year old son won't stop kicking me and everything else for fun.

    My son keeps kicking me, out walls and out windows, it's not out of anger or anything like that because he has a huge grin on his face the whole time. So I think he just thinks it's fun, but he's getting to the point where he's strong enough that it hurts, and I'm starting to get scared he's going to either bust a hole in the try wall or break a window and get hurt. Has anyone here delt with this and put a stop to it? If so what did you do?

    1 Comment
    2024/09/24
    20:30 UTC

    33

    Do you tell your kids who you're voting for?

    I have 11yr old twin step daughters who keep asking me who I'm going to vote for in November. I keep telling them that it's private because I don't know how to handle this. Their dad told them who he's voting for and he has no problem telling them it's the correct way to vote.

    I don't want to push my political beliefs on the kids one way or the other. And even though dad has full physical and legal custody, they still talk to their mom and I don't want them telling him I'm voting for so and so because that's the right way to do it. I also don't want them to grow up thinking they have to vote a certain way because that's how I vote or because they don't want to upset me or their dad.

    My parents always told me who they were voting for and when I was 18 and I got to vote, I voted for someone I don't think I would've voted for had I felt more comfortable making the decision on my own.

    Anyways that's probably too many words. Just curious how other people handle this. Do I just tell them and say like, "but that's just what I believe is the best choice for our country right now, you can think someone else would be a better fit. It's up to each of us to decide."

    144 Comments
    2024/09/24
    20:26 UTC

    2

    14 month old peed and pooped in the potty. Any advice on what we should be doing next?

    My 14 month old daughter is good at expressing herself and making her needs pretty clear with sings+words. She's been keen on emulating the babies/toddlers she sees in her books and we have had success getting her to not throw food, brush her teeth, look up while having her hair washed, etc. thanks to the babies in her books.

    So I figured I'd get her a book on using the potty (On My Potty by Leslie Patricelli) not with any intention of potty training or anything but just to introduce her to the idea of a potty and when time came for potty training, I figured it'd be a useful book to have around.

    But today, after reading the book for the second time, she surprised me by asking to go to th bathroom to use the potty. We did, and lo and behold she tinkled in the potty and proceeded to exclaim ("I did it") like the baby in the book. And later in the day did the same thing and this time it was a poop!

    I'm caught totally off guard because I didn't anticipate doing any potty training this early and haven't gathered much information on the topic.

    Do you have any advice on what would be some sensible next steps for us? Should I just let her take the lead or give her opportunities to use the potty?

    TLDR: 14 month old surprised me today by asking to make a pee and a poo in the potty, and did it! Is this a good opportunity to start potty training? If so, any advice on how best to handle it?

    5 Comments
    2024/09/24
    20:13 UTC

    1

    Kindergarten focus issues

    So today my sons kindergarten teacher called me to tell me his focus was “very very poor”. She described It as being in his own land of distractions. she tries to prompt him over and over and he’ll start the work but won’t finish or will finish slowly and a bit sloppy. He is also breaking and gnawing on pencils (2-3 per day) or chopping up erasers or papers while she’s giving instruction. She sent home the pencils cracked in half with teeth marks. Also concerned she didn’t tell me sooner… ugh She feels he’s trying to find something to do other than the schoolwork. She also says he touches / bothers other kids when they aren’t at their desk like carpet reading time. She said she’s switched his table assign,ent a few times. They’re only 13 days in. He’s been in preschool for 2 years and they never raised any concern like this to me so I’m dumbfounded. He also comes home and knows the concepts of his homework, however it’s a fight to get it done. I’m quite open minded to hay the schools have to say but can’t believe the laundry list of complaints she had. Her advice was to talk to my doctor and she may try to put him in a desk alone. I’m worried he’ll already get a stigma attached to him. He turned 5 about 7 days before the school year started so on the Younger side. I plan to call the pediatrician tomorrow and see what she thinks but any help would be great.

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    02:32 UTC

    1

    transition to daycare

    our son will be 6 months old in January when we’re more than likely going to enroll him in a spanish immersion daycare center. the first three months he was at home with me and now the next two with dad and finally again with me in December before he starts.

    obviously since he’s our only child and I’m on leave from work I devote 24/7 to him. he thrives with activity (like me MOVING! constantly. loves being in a carrier or held while I walk around the house) and being outside and I’m perfectly happy to spend as much time as needed in getting him naps if he’ll sleep, he’s breastfed on demand.

    we’re both nervous for him to be at home with dad and even moreso at a center. dad has this concept he’ll hit multiple things in a day including naps by himself in a bassinet, taking bottles from him just fine and being able to do tummy time for 30mins+. as the one at home with him now I know this isn’t realistic. he’ll have a reality check and get overwhelmed the first week and I’m sure change his perspective and find a groove.

    but how does this work bringing your child to a center? they have many children to watch and much more of a defined schedule, like dad is expecting. is this transition always hard? do daycare staff anticipate a new baby needs time end extra coddling to get with the program or is it kind of cry it out at points?

    just an anxious mom. any input or advice on what to do beforehand to make the transition easier would be appreciated!

    1 Comment
    2024/09/24
    20:09 UTC

    1

    Nasty notes

    Hi Reddit parents my 11 yo daughter got caught passing notes with perverted content on it. I took away all electronics. But I feel like it's not enough any advice?

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    03:08 UTC

    1

    4 year old will NOT sleep

    I’ve tried everything - and I mean everything - you can find on Google or tik tok but my daughter will not not not sleep. Like, not normal. She’s up til 1 or 2 every night and so grumpy the next day. But no matter how tired she is… she doesn’t sleep. The best success we’ve had is melatonin but Id hate to give her that everyday. But mom and dad need some sleep. Idk what else to do. It’s been this way since she was 2.5 years.

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    03:50 UTC

    1

    My 8 month old is driving me mad with biting.

    He has 8 teeth. Large teeth. And a very powerful chomp. Breastfeeding is unpleasant at times but if I only had to navigate that it would be fine. He is a Velcro baby and will crawl to me wherever I am (often on the floor because I have 2 other small children) and usually sink his teeth into my thigh. If I bring him in for a hug he bites my neck or shoulder. It isn’t angry biting, it is like he just uses his mouth to help him climb up my person. No amount of saying OW or screaming OW and plopping him down away from me has made a bit of difference. I’m getting bitten like 40 times a day and I can’t snuggle my baby because he just bites me. It really is upsetting me. And he has no shortage of things to chew on - teethers, rags, etc.

    Is there anything to be done about this?

    1 Comment
    2024/09/24
    20:07 UTC

    2

    Pre Teen wants to come home from school?

    My daughter is 13 years old and is in 7th grade. How do you parents deal with teenagers like this? At least once a week she will text me to pick her up from school early. These reasons are not valid excuses. -I don't feel like swimming in P.E -I feel really tired -It's too hot and I'm sweating badly.
    -I feel dizzy, but yet she was fine all day at home touching her phone and iPad.

    There will always be some kind of excuses and it's really testing my patience. I keep telling her, just because you don't want to go school, doesn't give you an excuse to want to come home early. I don't want to go work too, but I have to right? If you're wondering if she's getting bullied, she isn't. I thought about that too and had a talk with her, and she said no. We communicate alot about things regarding her friends.

    8 Comments
    2024/09/24
    20:07 UTC

    1

    Thoughts on Thumb Sucking?

    My 3 month old is a MAJOR thumb sucker. I personally don’t have a problem with it (and think it’s ridiculously cute), but I’ve had a few well meaning family members warn me that I should stop the habit now before it becomes a problem down the road. I totally get where they’re coming from, but also don’t want to take a self soothing tool away from my baby. He’ll wake up in the night and put himself back to sleep by sucking his thumb, so it might partially be a little selfish on my part. Also I’m not sure if I’d even be able to do much in terms of stopping him??

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    06:52 UTC

    1

    Noticing a distressing behavioral pattern.

    Has anyone else ever noticed a pattern with their teenager where, when a friend or family member was going through something, said child seems to create a problem for themselves? Possibly in an attempt to steal the spotlight or maybe it’s some form of mirroring?

    Current example with my child; her friend was removed from her parents due to some very serious issues at home. The very next day, my daughter who’s been being there for her friend, started a huge fight with myself, her dad and her sister who is only 2 years younger than her. She then belittled, insulted and threatened us all through text for hours before telling me she was moving out and never coming back (she’s now been gone for several days) I’ve noticed that this is a pattern now, every other friend she’s had over the years that had any kind of serious problem or lost a family member, really just any kind of sad or difficult situation, my daughter very shortly there after (sometimes within hours) will invent/create a problem! She will involve many people in it and she becomes impossible to deal with to the point of being mean and honestly scary. So, has anyone experienced this or does anyone know if this is a common issue with any kind of mental health issue?

    To add context: She is being evaluated for narcissistic personality disorder, or possibly bipolar disorder.

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    07:24 UTC

    1

    Door playing

    Looking to see if someone has been in similar situation. I have a 6 year old girl who had a couple of red flag behaviours from aged 2 - mainly opening and closing doors - so was assessed for ASD. After 2.5 year of observation and official assessment it came back not autistic as she didn't have problems with socialising or transitions, just one area of repeatative behaviour. I accepted the answer - but we are not at the stage of door playing/talking about them for 4 years now, and I don't know how to processes it for myself if this isn't ASD. It died down for about 6 months but is back with a vengeance. Has anyone had a similar experience? When I asked paediatrician she stated some neuro typical kids are found to be repetitive. We don't have meltdowns or routines we have to follow in relation to other areas of her life.

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    07:49 UTC

    1

    Could someone assist me with the current dilemma I am facing?

    This is a lengthy situation, but I will summarize it. I am currently facing challenges with my rebellious teenage daughter who refuses to communicate with me and spends most of her time in her room. I believe her behavior may be related to the separation between her mother and me. I regret not being present for her during her childhood due to my work commitments. I am seeking advice on how to reconnect with my daughter and make up for lost time. Any guidance or communication would be appreciated, particularly if you have past experience in this area.

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    08:37 UTC

    1

    Partners dependent children in their thirties

    My partner and I have been together for more than 5 years.

    He has two children, their mother died when they were 9 and 11 and he has basically raised them on his own and they never wanted for anything.

    I have two children also, they’re in their early 20s and I have raised them very differently. They still live at home but they both work and support themselves, I don’t ask them for rent, but we share the cooking, cleaning etc. They never ask me for money, they want more money, they work harder.

    He is a lovely man and his children, now in their 30s are still very financially dependent on him. Particularly his daughter, she take advantage of his generosity. He is 61 years old and has worked very hard all his life and she is draining him of everything he has saved.

    His daughter is 33 and married with 3 children, his son 35 and single works for him at his business that he bought about 7 years ago.

    ‘His daughter husband has a successful business but because he has always given them whatever they want she hasn’t learnt to live with in her means.

    Last year he sold a house he owned with his sister and gifted each child $300,000. Shortly after that, through a property deal with her father she swindle more money from him and her brother. They knocked down his perfectly fine house and divided the block to build two town houses. one for her and one for him, so he could help look after her children. She had the plans drawn up and her house is far bigger and well design where his is small and poorly designed. While the houses are being built she asked if he would move in with them so he could help her pay the rent. He pays half the rent for a tiny room with no en-suite, and she asks him to help her out with the utility bills and takes his money if he offers for the cleaning And she doesn’t even cook for him, or do his washing, he has to do that between the little chores she asks of him. His son offered for him to move in with him for nothing and is also irate that she is making him pay half the rent, but he just brushes him off.

    He still pays their phone bills and petrol, and if we are babysitting her kids she uses his Uber account when she and her husband go out.

    I am from a big family, my mother also died when I was young and although we weren’t struggling for money, (my father managed to put us all through private school), we never asked or were given money from my father. We learnt the harder you work the more money you make. His daughter is the opposite, she is lazy and has never had to provide for herself, she lived at home until after she was married.

    I am financially stable, when we go out we take turns at paying the bill, if we go on holidays it’s fixity fifty. I never ask him to help me if I need and extra pair of hands because although he works 5 days 6am-5-6pm at night she is always asking him to do little chores for him.

    I tried to talk to him before they did the property deal, because she got one appraisal that suited her, and I tried to discuss his house plans before they were approved, but he didn’t want to, I think he fully put his trust in her. The appraisal she quoted was $300,000 less than the bank appraisal to get a loan.

    I have tried to tell him he is not doing her any favours supporting her to live beyond her means and it is not fair to his son as she has taken a large amount of his inheritance.

    She manipulates him in other ways as well and every time I try to speak to him, he gets defensive and shuts me down.

    He was quite financially secure before gifting his children and building his new house but now he doesn’t have a lot left, his business just keeps its head above water, and I don’t think she will stop putting her hand out until there is nothing left.

    It makes me so mad that a child could think it’s ok to treat their father like this (and her brother) and I think I’m answering my own question, that I should just walk away. When ever something comes up, I have to try and bite my tongue because I know it falls on deaf ears but sometimes I cry for him and sometimes I can’t sleep. I just feel so sorry for him that he is blinded by his love for her..

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    10:11 UTC

    1

    If dept of education is scrapped- what then?

    We have kids in older elem and almost high school. One has dyslexia and requires (federally protected) accommodations… which would go away (probably) if Trump wins and dismantles the dept of ed. We are in Texas so we have less than dismal hopes that the state would improve in any regard. It’s already crumbling beneath us because Abbott is holding hostage billions of funds that public Ed desperately needs - to someday implement his voucher scam. We have discussed moving in sort of vague ways in the past, but if this happens we would probably be more compelled than ever. And no, we can’t afford private schools - charter schools are also a no, we have those here and all have a crazy turnover in both kids and staff. So. What is a state that would offer stable, well-funded public school options?

    1 Comment
    2024/09/24
    12:47 UTC

    1

    Forgotten birthday!!

    My birthday was 9/21 and as most mom's I wanted to celebrate with my daughter however she never wished me a happy birthday and I gave it a lot of time. I figured it could just be me, maybe I'm overreacting. Butwhen 7 o'clock rolled around and she still hadn't said anything my heart broke. I always try to go above and beyond to make her feel special on her birthday and I didn't want presents. All I wanted was a big hug, a kiss and to here her say happy birthday. It's 9/24 and she still has not said happy birthday. I'm extremely hurt and I don't know if I'm just overreacting or if I have a right to be hurt. I'm just broken right now and lost for words. Any help would be appreciated. But please be gentle. I'm trying to do the right thing.

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    13:03 UTC

    1

    Second Child - Give me all the good stories

    Okay, this is a ways away for my family, but...

    My husband and I just had our first baby about 5 months ago. We got the cliche amazing first child. He has always been chill, great at independent play, sleeps through the night for the most part, happy all the time.

    I truly want a big family. I'm an only child and always was desperate for siblings so I'd love to have 'lots' of kids and eventually their partners. Of course, when you talk about having a second child, all you are faced with are the comments about how hard and terrible the second child will be. "The second one won't sleep ever" "The second one won't let you put them down" "The second child is sent to test you" "The first child is a trick child" etc etc

    Please please please send me all the good stories about how having a second, after a super easy first baby, made your lives better. Or are all second babies super hard after a easy first (obviously not ALL). I feel like people say this as fear mongering. It's similar to the "Just wait" comments to pregnant people. People focus on the negative and I want all the positives! Something to refer back to when I start second guessing being able to handle the "hard" "monster" second child.

    1 Comment
    2024/09/24
    13:38 UTC

    1

    Mom Affirmations

    What are some of your favorite affirmations or quotes that you use or have heard that pertain to parenting? SAHM of 9 month old just needing a little something to help keep me focused and present with my little throughout the day.

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    13:52 UTC

    1

    Parents don’t respect my boundaries when it comes to my baby

    I have a 4 and a half month old baby, I had to go back to work early as I couldn’t afford to stay off for very long. My parents help out twice a week with looking after him whilst I work from their house as I work remotely permanently (I drive 50 minutes to their house from mine as we live in different cities). They have a border collie dog which I’ve never really lived with, I’m 29 and they had him whilst I wasn’t living at home, he is a lovely dog but at the end of the day a dog is a dog.

    I am really grateful for their help, I bought a gate that folds away to block the dog from being in the same room as them as my baby is so small and I don’t want the dog near him no matter what. I understand it’s the dogs house too but also it’s just a dog and they have a big house which he has the run of as well as a huge garden so shutting him out of just parts of the house/just a room that the baby is in during those days between the hours of 8:30-5:30 is nothing.

    There have been several times where I’ve come out of the room I’m working in and the dog has been close to the baby and in the same room and if he were to jump or anything he would be right on the baby. I’m so annoyed at this and losing my patience as I feel they are completely disrespecting my boundaries by allowing this. I AM grateful for their help but it doesn’t mean they cannot follow my boundaries when it comes to the safety of my baby and their grandchild for the sake of A DOG. They are the ones who offered to help by the way with my baby I did not suggest this.

    Every time I then say please don’t let him near him they’ll say he’s fine or then tell the dog to go away but just don’t allow him in the same room in the first place! They get defensive and act like I am causing them problems because I’ve realised now that I’m older that generation is very stuck in their ways and don’t like telling or having discussions and would rather huff and puff and act like I am offending them.

    I have seen a few other similar stories here but just want to know thoughts on how to deal with this.

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    14:15 UTC

    1

    Parenting advice needed for infant (3mof)

    My bf(24) and I(24) have been together for 2 years and just had a baby girl in June. This is the 1st baby for both of us, so tht might be why he's acting this way but I need advice. So when she was first born I pumped/gave her formula until I dried up so she was primarily formula fed after tht. After months of noticing her spitting up ounces after feeding her, her pediatrician suggested using a formula tht had added rice starch. From the beginning bf wanted to feed her goats milk formula and I always said no, the reasoning being if her tummy can't take sensitive-made formula, how was it going to react to goats milk? So we talked about tht option with her pediatrician and he couldn't give us much thought about it because he hadn't seen many patients who used it. Flash forward to last night, bf is googling our formula and sending me all of the "dangers" about it. He tells me we're switching formula next month, tht I have no say in it, end of story. Also throws in the fact tht if I'm comfortable giving our child a formula with chemicals in it, I must not give a fu** about our daughter and it concerns him.

    This is just one of the few arguments we've had since she was born and we never see eye to eye. I'm honestly tired of the comments he makes and how he acts like he knows everything/the greatest dad ever. We're currently on a "break"(put in place by me) and it's not looking good.

    Desperatly seeking parenting advice

    2 Comments
    2024/09/24
    16:38 UTC

    1

    Reposting this from the blending families sub… help/ideas with my 6 year old son.

    Help? Blending families is hard and nobody prepares you for it.

    Me (28F) and husband (42M) have 4 children together. He has 3 ranging from 19-6 from his first marriage and I have (almost) 7 year old. We frequently have the 2 youngest ones, although our schedules are opposite, we try to have them at least one day a week together. He has a little girl, 6, and I have a son 7. They are very opposite. My son is timid with exploring new things (riding a bike, climbing a tree, etc) while his daughter is the complete opposite. The issue is that while my son is terrified of exploring these things, he will also talk really big about himself. Or talk down on her specifically for not doing it correctly, when he isn’t even willing to attempt it.

    Our biggest issue and what causes the most upset in our home is how my son will speak to his daughter. Sometimes it’s provoked, but a lot of the time it isn’t. He will just be agitated or say mean things to her and it seems like it’s out of nowhere. She is generally good about sharing her things and speaking kindly to him. But he does things that show the opposite of that. Or he will just say some off the wall stuff for no reason. Twice, he has gotten so aggravated that he has pushed her.

    This situation has been ongoing since the beginning of mine and my husband’s relationship. It has caused a lot of issues with us. I feel like my son gets singled out and he doesn’t like that his daughter is being disrespected like she has been.

    Looking for advice on how to handle this as a mother of a son. I was a single mom for 4 years and he was an only child that entire time. I sometimes think that he is still adjusting to this new dynamic, but it’s been close to 3 years. Not sure what else to do and I do not want this type of unrest and unease in our home every time they are together.

    0 Comments
    2024/09/24
    17:10 UTC

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