My 13yo son just found out that his best friend is grounded & isn't allowed to trick or treat tonight. My son has a disability & doesn't attend regular public school at this time, instead he attends a virtual school program our district offers. This means he doesn't see his friends at school like he used to. When school let out, he tried to contact his best friend to figure out plans for meeting up to trick or treat & they didn't respond. I reached out to the parents & found out his best friend is grounded. My son called another close friend & found they were trick or treating in a different town. Its 4pm on Halloween and now he's finding out he doesn't have anyone to trick or treat with. He's really upset by this and I'm not sure what to do for him as a parent. I initially looked online for local kids events & found out they were all during the daytime. If anyone has any ideas on how to salvage the night and or cheer my son up, I'd be so grateful for the suggestions. I'm at a loss & feel so bad for him. Thanks

So my 8 year old, relatively reliable narrator daughter came home today saying she’s worried about a friend in class who gets “sad sometimes, because her parents hit her a lot” I’ve never seen these parents beyond the school gates and have 0 read on how true this might be, as I’m aware kids are unreliable narrators, but also don’t want to dismiss it entirely in case a child is in danger. I told my daughter to tell her friend to tell the teacher if things at home made her feel sad, as it’s the teachers job to help all their kids. Not sure if there’s anything else I should do? Would love advice.

Like the title says. I'm the father, 34yo, I have a 3 yo and a 1 yo, who I love dearly, and there are moments that they bring me great joy. But those "moments" seem to be the only joy I experience anymore. Almost every other part of my life feels like chore. Weekdays are spent at work, cooking and cleaning, bathing kids, stopping the kids from fighting etc. My wife and I get maybe an hour and a half together on weeknights, and honestly, a similiar amount of free time on weekends considering that's when laundry and house cleaning needs to get done. My relationship with my her is the worst it's been in 16 years, and I have never felt so depressed in my life.

We had a great relationship prior to kids and had an active lifestyle. We did a lot of things together and had a lot of hobbies, so I know I miss that stuff. But I also feel guilty about missing it. I feel like all I'm doing right now is surviving and feeding children. Lovely children I must add lol, but I feel like a hollow shell of a human soul.

Hello, I have a nine-month-old boy who started daycare and month ago. I know there is a transition time and it could be hard on them, I know it’s normal for them to cry at first, but I’m tired of listening every everyday things like “ your son cries a lot” , “he spent the day crying”, “ Let him cry at home”…That is stressing me out! The caregivers seems to be nice, but I’m tired of them saying things like these almost every day I go to pick him up.

What would you do about it? Should I just go ahead and find a daycare that is a better fit for us? Or should I just keep trying for things to get better with my baby?

I have a question; I’m too embarrassed to ask friends- do young girls have red perineum skin or should it just be a normal pink?
I put aquaphor on her just in case but just this area looks more red than her vulva skin. Obviously their skin down there has not developed so that would be my theory behind it as both my girls are slightly redder here.

I’ve been interested a lot recently in “core memories”, an event or moment in time which your kids will remember for years to come. It can be something big, like a Disney trip, or it can be something small that just makes them happy when they remember it. One of my core memories from my childhood is my dad making “Elvis Pancakes” on Saturday mornings, which were chocolate chips, peanut butter chips, and bananas. Sometimes when all the siblings are together again, we will make them together for a big group breakfast. We all loved them every time we made them and it still makes me happy thinking about it.

One of the things my wife and I do now are pizza & movie nights. To us, it's a cheat night that we both don’t want to cook dinner, but to our son he gets so excited about it. We usually order Dominos because it's so cheap and we don’t want to spend a lot of money, but he doesn’t understand the cost of it and he thinks it's a huge deal that we are ordering food. We are currently working through classic Disney movies and he gets excited to pick out the one he wants to watch.

My wife and I don't have very much extra money each month to go do these extravagant vacations to Disney or events, but these memories can be cheap when the main memory is spending time with you. Nowadays, people don't have a lot of spare money or extra time, so these would be cheap and quick things you could do to make your own core memories.

Leave a comment if you have any childhood core memories you can think of. I love reading about them and I’m sure others would too. We could share ideas to use for our kids.

I'm a little tired my kids (5 and 7) leaving skid marks in the toilet bowl for me to clean up. Also, if I miss then I face embarrassment with guests. Any ideas or tips? They aren't very prone to listening just yet.

My mum and I have a great relationship, she’s very maternal and has been a child minder for over now years (now retired)

My wife has always had issues with our baby (1 years old) seeing my mum. I want to bring my her with me to see my family, every time I try she either says I can’t or gives me a time limits (20 mins). She never wants to come with me, and makes excuses not to see my family whenever they are due to come round. I will often have to cancel on my family because she says the house isn’t tidy enough, or the baby needs to nap and shouldn’t be disturbed. Nothing has ever really happened between my wife and my family - she just doesn’t seem to like them or want my son and me to have a relationship with them.

I can tell my mum is getting upset. Do you think this behavior is normal?

As the birth of my second child nears, I'm finding myself being increasingly nervous about the age and gender gap between my two kids.

My son will be almost exactly 4 years old when his baby sister arrives. He and I have an extremely close relationship and I've always been the preferred parent, which I've always expected to shift as he gets older. But I worry that the baby's arrival will be especially hard on him when he realizes how much it will impact his quality time with me.

On top of this, I keep returning to the fear that he will struggle to foster a closeness and interest in a baby sister, given the larger age gap. Both my husband and I have only same-gender siblings, with whom we have good relationships. I also know a number of adult brother-sister siblings who are close, but anecdotally, the sister is the eldest in every case.

Part of me knows I'm hyper-focusing on the gender thing, which given my own history feels weird and frankly disappointing. (I was often called a "tomboy" growing up way back in the 80s, and I have a pretty fraught relationship with my femininity/queerness even now.) Maybe my anxieties about gender in my kids' relationship is just a reflection of my own unresolved issues?

Is there anyone here with a close sibling relationship, either as an older brother or younger sister? Or anyone with older brother / younger sister kids who are close? Any words of advice on how to create space for them to develop a bond across the age/gender gap, without being overbearing or forcing it? I'd appreciate some outside perspectives!

Struggling mom here... I have a 3.5-year-old daughter and a 7-month-old baby. Since my eldest started school in September, our relationship has completely changed, and I'm devastated.

She used to be so attached to me, but now it feels like she hates me. She constantly rejects me, especially in front of others (cousins, friends). I keep hearing 'no, not you', 'don't talk to me'. When I try to show her love or give her a hug, she pushes me away. It's so painful because I can't understand what I've done wrong.

I tell her I love her, but nothing seems to help. This constant rejection is breaking my heart, especially since we used to be so close. The change is like a cold shower - it happened so suddenly.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you handle this phase? I feel completely lost...

My 5 year old daughter constantly pulls out her underwear as if she has a front wedgie. I don’t know how to get her to stop. It’s as thought the underwear annoys her. We have all cotton underwear, don’t have bubble baths and use fragrance free laundry detergent. Her skin looks normal. It has looked red in the past but goes down after a couple of days.

We have a nanny that takes care of them while I work from home. I usually lock myself up in a separate room where I can focus and get work done. I do however have some free time between meetings where I can go see my children and play for a little bit, sometimes even eat lunch or a quick snack before heading back to the next meeting. I’m just really worried my kids will be very confused to see me come and go and think, if mom is home, why isn’t she spending time with me? I read a while ago in the book Being there by Erica Komisar that it is best to leave once and come back to your children once rather than doing it several times in a day. I wonder how other WFH moms with kids at home handle this situation?

TLDR: How long is the adjustment phase for a three year old at daycare? How upset is too upset? How do I not feel like a complete monster having to go to work?

My daughter just started daycare for the first time since she was an infant. She’s nearly four and we found a great daycare for her and she had a blast on her first day. The second day-not so much. Husband and I noticed the photos on the app of all the kids playing didn’t include her so I reached out and found she was struggling with indoor play and kept going to sit alone, holding her ears, and was generally overwhelmed looking. Outside however, she was fine. I spoke with her teacher and we decided to let her try headphones during indoor time if she felt overwhelmed.

For context, she’s an only child, my husband and I both work and are pretty introverted. I teach middle school so she gets dropped off at 7am and picked up around 4pm. She’s spent the last 2.5 years being babysat by my sister who homeschools her 8 year old and also has an infant- lots of quiet time and her tablet battery was always dead by the end of the day. So she’s not the most socialized child- despite always enjoying going places, waving and speaking to people, and coming to events at my work where she gets carried around and fawned over by 8th graders. We know loud environments bother her at times- like storms, vacuums, or lots of chaos (like playing at a busy public playground or meeting too many new people at once).

Third day was today and on the way this morning she told me the kids hit her. Her story kept changing and she’d not mentioned it the previous day so I was admittedly skeptical. She had a lot of nightmares last night so maybe she dreamt it? I promised to speak to her teacher and make sure she felt better about it all before I left today. Problem was- her teacher was late today and I had to leave her in the 4s class with a male teacher (she only has two men regularly in her life so she’s always hesitant interacting with them). She screamed. She cried. She fought. My momma heart nearly called out of work but I walked away and told the assistant director my concerns so she went to go get her so calm down as I left. (I have sick days/PTO but have been trying to save those for when she inevitably gets sick being in daycare)

Every photo on the app today was either the whole group without her or of her alone looking absolutely miserable. Her forced into situations where she was interacting but was hunched over clutching her coat and clearly uncomfortable. Husband saw and went to pick her up early. He’s distraught and said she told him the kids hit her and she cried all day alone.

When I got home from work she immediately wanted momma cuddles and excitedly told me she pottied at daycare and asked how my day was. When I pressed her about her day she said she was sad and wanted me. She seems to understand she’s going again tomorrow and doesn’t try to get out of going but she’s just so dang sad. To the point I’m not sure if she’s sick (she’s got sunburned/possibly rash on her cheeks and is all snotty sounding) or if she’s just been so distraught today that it makes her appear sick. I’m heartbroken because she was so excited to be in daycare for like the two months she was on the waitlist and she’d even cried when we toured the daycare and she learned she’d have to wait to start. Now this?

Is this normal? Like, I know kids need time to adjust but this level of sadness all dang day?

Concerning the hitting, I’ve not gotten to speak to the teacher yet but did talk to the assistant director who said she’d speak to the teacher. My daughter says she didn’t tell the teacher or tell the kids to stop. She refuses to advocate for herself which is odd for her because she honestly is usually really good about it. She once asked a waitress at a restaurant if they’d turn down the music because it was too loud. Completely unprompted. I don’t want to doubt her but I’m also worried about being “that mom” and go in accusing. Even though it’s a new situation, so much of her behavior is just so out of character for her and I’m feeling miserable about it because even if we had another option anymore she NEEDS daycare, learning, socialization, and friends her own age.

What. The. Fuck.

I don’t know what to think. What to do. I don’t know anything.

Other than I have a mentally ill child who I thought was doing better. And now he’s searching for naked women and burnt dead bodies while at school.

Please send help.

I grew up in a violent house. I am not physically violent but often find myself overwhelmed and shouting at my kids (5 & 3)

I don’t know how to even begin stopping. It’s all that seems to work. I have tried getting on their level and talking to them, eye contact, time outs.

After I shout I ALWAYS apologise. But as they say, an apology without changed behaviour is manipulation.

My neighbours must think I’m insane. I then sit every evening and sob about how awful of a parent I am. How can I fix this? Please?

Just that. I am missing three years of my 12-year-old's Halloween costume pics. I started putting together a little collage to share of Halloween over the years. I can't find 2016, 2021, and 2022. I am super upset. I tried Dropbox, Apple Cloud, and Google Drive, with multiple accounts for each. I am mainly looking for sympathy, I guess, but do you have any wild ideas?

Husband and I are not in agreement. 11 year old go caught at school selling things in lunchroom (which he knew was against the rules). He planned it out, bought the stuff days ago. Got a call from the school, and when he arrived home, he claimed he gave the money back to the kids. When asked for the money, he admitted he had given it to a friend to hold onto. This is not the first time he’s been caught in a lie since starting middle school this year (6th grade).

One of us thinks not being allowed to trick-or-treat is a reasonable punishment, the other thinks this is his last year to go and it’s too big of a punishment. Looking for others’ opinions.

UPDATE: the decision has been made to allow him to go trick or treating chaperoned by a parent (not in a group of friends), but all of the candy is being donated. He’s also giving all the money he made selling items to the school.

Today my 5 year old boy bit another boy at school. He says that it was because the other kid took his toy, this may or may not be true. Regardless, he also bit someone a little over a month ago at a wedding, this time an adult. That time we took away tv for a week, made him write "I will not bite." 10 times and impressed apon him how important it is not to bite people.

Is it overreacting to not let him trick or treat tonight? I feel really guilty about it, but it seems like the best way to get the point across that. He is currently writing "I will use my words" 20 times.

Hello! I’m in a situation where I’m unsure how to properly proceed. SD12 made a new friend at school. The girl is super sweet and it seems like a genuine friendship. SD has been struggling with friend drama so seeing a healthy friendship for her makes me happy. The only negative thing though has been the friends mom. She is constantly trying to off load her daughter and younger son on me. At the beginning of the school year she wanted me to watch both of her kids after school for her till she or husband gets off work since I’m a SAHM. I thought it was inappropriate cause I’m still going through postpartum with my first baby also I barely know her family like that. Also she did it in a very expecting manner not even offering to pay but that I should just do it. I let her know that being so fresh postpartum I’m not in the state to be taking care of four

Next she started to text me during every school break about the girls having a play date. Which I don’t mind but it’s the manner on how she does it. It’s always “what time can I drop A off at your house for a play date?” It’s never an offer of them over there which I find uneven. Also when I do accept a play date offer it’s never a few hours it’s honestly for most of the day. Drop off at noon but not picking up till 9pm. A couple times I’ve just had it become a sleepover cause of the late pick up times. Another thing is that the friend always comes over hungry. She doesn’t feed her beforehand so I’m expected to feed her lunch dinner and snacks. The girl has a nut and milk allergy so her options are limited over here. Not blaming the girl but I’m not going to specifically grocery shop for her. The friend always suggests places to go eat cause she knows she can eat something off their menu. As we parents know how expensive eating out is especially in a single income family.

Here is the breaking point for today. The mom just texted me asking what time am I picking her kids up for trick or treating. Also letting me know that since little bro is still 6 I need to constantly hold his hand during. I was just gobsmacked by this text. When I replied saying that we aren’t trick or treating in her neighborhood she replied why what time should I drop them off at your place then? I’m so mad texting this right now. It’s my baby’s first Halloween I’m going to be focused on him and his sister not your kids. I really want to tell her off but the girls go to a k-12 school so I don’t want to start any parent drama that will circle through the rest of the girls friend group. Plus I don’t want to affect their friendship. I just can’t take it anymore though. How do I put some boundaries in place instead of just always having blow off excuses to her? Help!

Just... how? I'm a new-ish parent who works full time, feeling overwhelmed. Looking for advice and resources for meal planning and prepping on a budget for a family of 3. Anything and everything, really - spreadsheet templates, how/when you plan and how much time you spend on that, how/when you shop for groceries, when on earth you do all of this while managing to get everything else done... Help!

I (34F) am struggling with a situation at my child’s (3M) school and could use some outside perspective.

There's a mom at my son's preschool who seems to actively exclude me and, by extension, my child from social activities. We initially had what I thought was a friendly relationship - our kids took swimming lessons together for a year, and we'd chat during the lessons. We even exchanged numbers, but when I tried messaging her, I'd get inconsistent responses, so I eventually stopped trying.

When our kids were in the same class, I noticed I'd be left out of pick-up conversations - she'd chat with other moms but somehow always manage to exclude me. Today I noticed that she organized a Halloween trick-or-treat group after the school costume parade. At first, I thought it was just for kids in her child's current class, but then I noticed she had included other kids from my son's class too... just not my son.

The thing is, I honestly can't think of anything I've done to cause this. What's more concerning is that I've noticed a pattern where I haven't been able to form friendships with other school moms in general. I try to be friendly and open, but nothing seems to stick.

My main worry isn't even about me anymore - I'm concerned that my son will miss out on social opportunities because of whatever is going on with me and the other moms.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you handle being the "outsider" mom without letting it affect your kid's social life? Should I try to address this directly with her or just let it go?

TLDR: A mom at school consistently excludes me and my child from social activities. I'm worried about the impact on my son's social life and not sure how to handle it.

My 4 year old has always been on the shyer side but still maintained friendships with the neighbors and his cousins, would play scream and run, he was always shyer with adults but still with uncles aunts and grandparents he was always outgoing. I recently put him into preschool, and I noticed he was definitely on the shyer side, he is soaking everything up because he comes home and will tell me all about his day, his teachers, what they learned, he’s learned so much since August, but I set up a meeting with his teachers to see how he was doing socially, and was told he doesn’t talk, to peers or to teachers. This was still within his first few weeeks so I wasn’t too concerned. When I go pick him up last week he said bye to both his teachers and they both acted so shocked and surprised and I genuinely think he speaks nothing. Now he does only attend 2 days a week so I understand him not seeing them so often to get out of his shell. I went to his Halloween parade today and he was the last kiddo in line with his hand being held by his teacher, they sang a song and he was the only kid who didn’t. We’ve taken him to play with his cousins since and he puts himself in a bubble, he won’t talk to them or play with them for the first 45mins to an hour and if we’re not there long enough sometimes they won’t even hear him talk. He’s still super outgoing with us his parents and sister he talks his mouth off and is full of personality but with anyone else he completely shuts down and it’s gotten so much worse with starting school. Now I feel guilty for putting him in school and I want to pull him but he’s learning so much and he loves going he just doesn’t talk or involve himself with others. Did I start him too early? Any advice for helping shyness? Any insight would be appreciated !

Can someone send me the petition link to complain about the crazy shrinkflation that’s happened to Halloween candy? I know I can’t be the first person to want to complain about this. I bought Doritos, Cheetos, Nestle chocolate bars and Maynard’s candy- the bags of chips are practically empty, there are three Swedish fish in a bag and the chocolates are invisible. Wtf!!

I paid the most I’ve ever spent on Halloween candy so at least if they’re going to shrink their products, they can at least drop the prices. Disgusting corporate greed at it again

Would you let your teenage daughter have a sleepover at her friend’s house if you’ve never met the parents? This year my 13 year old became really good friends with a girl in her class. She’s know the girl since 4th grade but they’ve only become really close this year. I’ve never met the parents before since we’ve never had any play dates etc when they were younger. The girl invited my daughter and one other girl over to her house for sleepover. The other girls parents already said no but my daughter is begging to go. What would you do?

Not really sure what I’m looking for but I’ve been having a really rough time since my LO turned 3 and we also welcomed another little one a few months back. It’s stressing me out so much but my 3 year old is going through a major speech regression she resorts to stuttering and pointing and generally acting like a baby. She use to be speak very well I’m not sure if she was advanced but she was an early crawler/walker and talker she learned everything so fast and this is killing me she gets so frustrated because she can’t get her words out. I spoke to her pediatrician two months ago and she kinda brushed it off as it’s from the new baby. Which I totally get it’s stressful for her. But has anyone else gone through this? What seemed to help? How long does it last?

Sincerely a stressed out mama

My toddler followed me into the bathroom. In about 3 seconds flat, he pulled up a stool, climbed onto the shelf holding my husband’s electric razor, and shaved a chunk out of the front of his head. It’s not horribly noticeable if I style it over the shaved part, but it’s still very visible. You could almost excuse it for typical toddler hair thickness inconsistency until his hair settles as he plays (he is black/white biracial and his hair is about 3b curly). What would you do? Shave it all and start over? It’s so pretty and took so long to grow… :( Has your toddler cut/shaved their hair? What did you do?

ETA: he just turned 2 last month. My husband and I shaved our heads in June and he’s been fascinated with pretending to shave his ever since. One of my biggest drawbacks is not wanting to be perceived as the stereotype of white mothers who shave their biracial children’s hair off because they don’t want to learn how to take care of it and it’s “too difficult.”

I'm not an expert on kids, but I have worked with 2 year olds for about 2 years. Never in a parenting setting though which is why this is so hard. My daughter is driving me insane. She does not listen to me at all. I'll say "M, no. That's dangerous" and she'll do the toddler thing and yell "No!". I'm having a hard time finding the patience to discipline her because she either finds it funny, a game or something other than "I'm telling you no". She doesn't understand boundaries, or that she is hurting us or her friends. My parents and my husband mom keeps pushing to put her inside school but she does not understand not to hurt people. She throws, hits, and bites. I'm going crazy, these were always my problem kids when I was a teacher, and I never learned how to handle them. I don't want to spank her, I want her to learn that she is not doing the right thing without fear. She's very high energy, and never plays with her toys. She jumps on everything and everyone and doesn't care who she hurts. She actually intentionally hurts. Please, and advice would be great.

I think I’ve posted about this before in one way or another, but I’m ready to put this to rest. My best friend thinks I should let it go, but it’s eating at me. Please share your thoughts - I want to find peace! If I am the mom who is hosting other kids and it’s not being reciprocated by the other moms, is it wrong of me to stop hosting? Honestly, hosting doesn’t bother me because it gives my (only) child time with their friends. But it hurts to not get a ‘hey can A come over sometime?’.
For context - the moms I’m talking about I consider close friends. I’m talking holidays and birthdays together. I’m invited to their homes often and we speak daily. But there’s never been an invite for my kid only. When their kids ask to have sleepovers, there’s always an awkward silence on their part and I cave and offer our home. Outside of all this, my kid gets invited to other homes. Parents who know me casually will tell me that I can drop her off anytime. I have asked one of the moms I’m talking about straight up if there’s a problem with my kid. They replied no but I could tell it wasn’t an honest answer. The question is - am I wrong to stop hosting??

He's been set on going to Brown his whole high school career. Plans have always revolved around Brown. We supported this. Of course as parents, we hate the idea of him moving so far away, but this is his life not ours. He's always been so excited. We even toured the campus a few times, have started looking into housing, etc. But as graduation approaches he started dating a girl. A girl with eyes set on Vanderbilt. Now he wants to go to Vanderbilt. Talks about it constantly. Has told several people now that Vanderbilt is his #1 choice.

Now, Vandy is a great school, especially for sciences, which he wants to study. It's not as far from us as Brown. But we really feel the girlfriend is the main reason he's doing this. This decision affects his life, which is why we would do whatever we could to send him to the college of his dreams. I just want to make sure this isn't because of the relationship, which, statistically, could fizzle out sooner rather than later. This is his first girlfriend. I just want the reason he chooses Vandy to be because it's what he wants, not because he wants to be with her. He's very defensive about this topic. I just want gentle prompts to maybe have a constructive, and not critical, conversation about the matter.

All week we have told our kids (six and almost seven) that if they don’t clean their room, they won’t go trick or treating.

Dumb move, but I really thought it would motivate them.

To get them started for the week with a fresh opportunity, we went in and did a purge of toys they don’t play with and we cleaned the room. All they had to do was keep it clean.

It is a disaster, and so we sent them up to tidy it and one kid went to our room to get the remote to watch tv behind our backs and the other one, to try to stop him, threw a toy and hit the tv and broke it.

What would you do?