/r/Miscarriage

Photograph via snooOG

r/Miscarriage is a community for those who are affected by or have experienced a miscarriage to talk about pregnancy loss. This is a place to come together and find support and connections to others who are going through this difficult process as well. We are so sorry you are in need for this sub, but we understand and are here for you. Hopefully you can find a little bit of relief here. Please feel free to vent and cry; this is a safe place for you to do so.


Please message if you think your post is caught in the spam filter.

This is a place for miscarriage support.

Comments that are not supportive will be removed. Trolls will be banned. Please message the moderators to bring these things to our attention.

Do not post asking if we think you had a miscarriage. Please consult your doctor. We understand that sometimes an unusual period may be disconcerting, but medical professionals are the only ones can determine if you have miscarried.

Please do not link to your own blog, website or youtube channel.


Other useful subreddits include:

www.reddit.com/r/ttcafterloss

www.reddit.com/r/infertility

www.reddit.com/r/secondaryinfertility/


Miscarriage websites recommended by Redditors:

http://facesofloss.com/ http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/ http://www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz/ http://unspokengrief.com/ http://www.silentgrief.com/

Resources for family and friends: http://americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyloss/mcsupportingothers.html http://unspokengrief.com/category/support/for_family_friend/

/r/Miscarriage

32,258 Subscribers

1

Mix of pregnancy tests?

I had a missed miscarriage followed by a d&c almost 5 weeks ago. I had my first negative pregnancy test 4 days ago - but I just tested again and it’s positive? Is it normal to have a mix of both for a while?

I just want everything to go back to normal 😔

0 Comments
2024/12/03
06:22 UTC

1

Tattoo idea

Back in May my wife had a miscarriage of what would have been our first child together. Since she was only a couple of months along we didn't know the gender of the child but joked about a certain girl name. Long story short I am thinking of getting a tattoo representing the child with that name. Is it weird getting the name when we didn't know the gender?

1 Comment
2024/12/03
06:17 UTC

1

what can I expect after taking misoprostol?

Went to my first ultrasound on Friday and baby had no heartbeat. I was waiting for it to naturally pass but and I’m thinking of taking the miso tomorrow. What should I expect? Am I gonna need any help functioning or do I need to call someone?

Thank you

3 Comments
2024/12/03
05:08 UTC

1

Period after chemical pregnancy

I started bleeding from a chemical pregnancy on October 24th I don’t know the exact day I stopped but it was longer than my normal period but not too long. I was supposed to get my period the 9th of October. I would say I was probably right at 5 weeks when this happened. My pregnancy test lines stayed for a while but disappeared.My period still haven’t come but my pregnancy test and ovulation test are negative. Do u base it off of the first day you bleed or when you end? I’m just confused and at this point just want to get my period . I’m also getting some more water white discharge. If I don’t get it by six weeks what should I do?

0 Comments
2024/12/03
03:43 UTC

1

Providers

Would anyone please be kind enough to share who their doctors/providers were who helped them during miscarriages and who helped you discover the cause of the miscarriages please. I live in Delray Beach, Florida but at this point after trying multiple providers, I am willing to go out of the city or out of state even to find a decent educated provider that cares... any doctor including ongyn, reproductive ob/gyn/endo... thank you so much in advance. This had been very hard and not finding answers is devastating.

0 Comments
2024/12/03
03:42 UTC

1

Help!!

I am so sorry to be posting here but I am genuinely scared 😭😭😭 I had a mc few months back and we tried again this month… I got positive when I tested but today I am having this UNBEARABLE pain in my lower back and pelvic area, the same pain I had when I had my first mc, I am so scared that I might be going mc because the pain is unbelievably painful 😭😭 do I go to the er now or what? I can’t stand the pain!!!!

1 Comment
2024/12/03
03:42 UTC

2

am i crazy? what happened?

Hi,

I don't really know where to start here. This is not a sub i thought id ever be going to. I'm not seeking medical advice as whats done is done, just support and reassurance that I'm not being a hypochondriac or something. Sometimes I can be! Who knows. At this point, I don't think I'll ever know what happened. I just need support.

Basically, here's what happened - 10/21 I had unprotected intercourse with a male for the first time. We are no longer in contact. Completely irresponsible, horrible, stupid decision of me.

10/29 I started birth control. I missed one day at a point and doubled up as soon as I remembered, but instead of spotting on 11/17-11/19 I started bleeding. Heavily. Really, really heavy and intense cramps with some tissue. I bled through a menstrual cup and through pads. This was more than just "spotting" for sure.

I bled for a few days after that, and since setting an alarm for my BC, it seems to have stopped. I tested negative on 11/19 when I took an at home test. I don't 100% know if I experienced a chemical pregnancy, because I wasn't aware and didnt test beforehand, but the timing of it being 4-5ish weeks lines up. I don't know if I'm being crazy for experiencing a feeling of loss that I didn't even know was created. Most of all, I just feel...guilt.

Incredible, incredible guilt. That I might have somehow accidentally created life and destroyed it unknowingly. I don't know who to go to about any of this. I cannot see a doctor due to my situation, its far past the date of the possible incident anyways, and the shame it would bring would be too much. I just need to know I'm not crazy for feeling this sort of way. I never intended to have a child, nor do I plan to, but I still feel a kind of loss? I'll be talking about it with a therapist soon but...I don't know. I don't even know what to think.

I don't want to undermine anyone else's story, or put mine above others at all here. But I am definitely not doing well. And I just wanted to talk to people who maybe have experienced something similar. Thank you for reading, and please contact me if I used the wrong flair.

1 Comment
2024/12/03
03:40 UTC

1

When did you get your period after miscarrying..?

First mc.. Didn’t use any medications to aid in passing process, but.. I’m still waiting for my period while the bleeding has stopped three weeks after but I miscarried in October? Is this normal or can anyone relate?

7 Comments
2024/12/03
03:38 UTC

2

Laws Suck - 1st MC please please help.

TLDR; being referred to planned parenthood to get medication to assist in a TFMR, no idea what to expect and anxious.

I am in one of the recently turned red states on the east coast. We thankfully live near other blue states. This is important as I have been spotting for the entirety of this wanted pregnancy with my husband. Because of that we have been monitored closely, with an ultrasound last Tuesday measuring a full week behind and today went to the ER and while the gestational sac grew, it is still empty. I am 7w today based off LMP.

We changed hospitals due to awful OB experiences. Radiology on both hospitals ruled empty gestational sac. The OB on call thought she saw and enlarged something in one angle in one shot after a 45 min ultrasound. Because of this, she told us:

  1. she’s not comfortable giving me medication to assist with passing this pregnancy.

  2. but pregnancy will be abnormal, and won’t end happily, because if what she saw WAS a yolk it’s enlarged and most likely aneuploidy. My husband and I discussed before conceiving and decided if we did run into any genetic abnormalities we would TFMR.

ER visit ended with everyone in tears, including staff because of how “politicized” (their words) this has become. This has left us with the option of going to planned parenthood. I have bad anxiety and ocd, which was well managed before this, but has been going crazy. I unfortunately have had friends who have needed to take medication to assist in a miscarriage, but no one has needed to use planned parenthood.

I am not necessarily concerned with what happens but more so my aftercare. Will planned parenthood help me? monitor me? Any advice sincerely appreciated

1 Comment
2024/12/03
03:07 UTC

27

It’s happening now..

I can’t believe that I’m here right now, this past weekend I was out shopping for baby clothes. I started spotting yesterday and got into my OB today for an ultrasound and the baby was measuring 2 weeks behind with a really slow heartbeat. She told me that I could expect to miscarry in the next several days. I’ve started bleeding bright red and know it’s happening, im absolutely devastated.

It took us 7 months of trying to get pregnant and it was the most exciting thing I’ve had happen in a while.

I’m crushed

5 Comments
2024/12/03
02:29 UTC

7

Coworker

I added the trigger warning just in case.

I had a miscarriage in July. One of my coworkers was aware of my pregnancy and of the loss shortly after it happened. We didn’t talk in much depth about it but she asked how I was etc… Two days ago she comes up to me at work and says, “I want to tell you something but I don’t know how you feel about it” I think referring to her not being aware of my political views. (FYI this post is not about my or your views, please don’t state them, I don’t care) Not knowing what she was talking about, I said, “well tell me if you’d like” and she proceeded to tell me how she was pregnant and had an abortion in the past week. GRAPHIC she mentioned how she was able to watch it on a monitor and how she saw the small body, and how badly it hurt. However, she said this is what she wanted and she wasn’t really saddened by it. Which is fine, I just hate that she had to tell me. I would have given anything to have kept my tiny little human growing inside of me, but it was taken away. I just wish I was given the option, I would have chose to keep my baby. I didn’t let it get to me in the moment but I can’t stop thinking about it now.

9 Comments
2024/12/03
00:54 UTC

4

Trying again

I lost my baby in July and since then mine and my husband's sex life has been pretty dry, because I really needed to take some time for myself and was so frightened of falling pregnant again.

I finally feel like I'm ready to start trying again. But every now and again pure fear creeps in, if this happens again, I'm not sure I will survive it the next time.

Does anyone else have these feelings? And if so, how do you cope?

3 Comments
2024/12/02
23:42 UTC

2

When will the questions end

Since my husband and I got married it’s been non stop questions about when we will have a baby. His younger sister had a baby summer of 2023 and is pregnant again. We pregnant at the same time and had due dates close together and that its self was hard. I was asked while holding my newborn niece when we are having a baby and have been asking more and more texting for “any updates”. I kept all of my pregnancies and miscarriages quiet barely anyone knows and I know no body means to hurt me with the questions but it just does. It’s gotten worse with my sil being pregnant again. I get cornered in rooms and asked when we are having a baby that we aren’t getting any younger and it stresses me out so much especially with holidays coming up knowing I’m going to have deal with it again. I don’t know what to do

3 Comments
2024/12/02
22:22 UTC

1

When will it stop

I took miso on 7th November. Bled heavily for almost 1.5 weeks then 1.5 weeks of brown bleeding/spotting. Now I’m bleeding heavily again with clots just like I bled in the first week (maybe a bit less). I had a negative test when I bled brown now it’s back to being a very very faint positive and I’m so just fed up and exhausted. I want it to end now 😭 has anyone had anything similar? (My HCG was 50 last week)

0 Comments
2024/12/02
21:59 UTC

1

Nausea then fever 10 days after medical MMC

Hi all,

My MMC was diagnosed on 22 Nov and I took the first medication dose, the second one on the 24 Nov. I had the "classic symptoms" and in the meantime bleeding has reduced to occasional spotting and all pregnancy symptoms or cramps are gone. On the 29 Nov is had a checkup and Dr told me it's all gone, no further action required.

Now today I developed a bit of nausea at around 9:00, then thought it's because I haven't eaten and took my supplements in an empty stomach. By noon it had my hugging the office toilet, hoping to throw up but I couldn't. I left work to crawl into my bed and since then have developed a strong headache and fever, but the nausea hat gotten better. Fever was 39.4°C (102.92°F) and has gone down after I removed the heating pad to see if that's what caused me to overheat, but is still at 38.9°C (102.02°F). My skin is really sensitive to touch, a sensation I only know from having the flu.

I have no other Covid or flu symtoms, also haven't had any MC "symptoms for 4 days" but after reading so many horror stories I'm obviously still wondering whether it could be related to the MC. Has anyone experienced the same?

My thoughts IF ITS NOT from the MC are:

  • Grastritis, from the pain killers I took (though I used acidity blockers)
  • Stomach flu (though I no puking or diarrhea)
  • Covid/flu (but no other cold like symptoms)

None of this seems very likely. Could it be from the MC? What could it be? ER or not? I plan to call my Dr in the morning, but wondering how I could best "prepare". I can't take anti fever medication because it would be contraindicated if it's gastritis...

Thanks for any help !

3 Comments
2024/12/02
21:50 UTC

0

Rh negative, was it my fault.

Hello,

Back in 2019 i chose to have a d/c after weeks of severe HG and weight loss, I was told that I was Rh negative and would need a shot within 72 hours but I was so out of it and mentally unwell I don’t think I ever got the shot. Recently back in December of 2023 I had a mc at 7 weeks and at that ER was given a shot in my glute after being told the same thing about my blood type. I guess im just asking if it was my fault since I never got the Rhogam shot in 2019. It’s been almost a year and I still can’t get that thought out of my mind

4 Comments
2024/12/02
21:35 UTC

17

Second miscarriage in 5 months

I don’t have an issue getting pregnant, especially using kegg fertility tracker but I feel so sad losing both and not being successful. Our first time the embryo never made it to the sack which was devastating, second time had a heartbeat at 6weeks we were so relieved and excited only to start spotting at 8.5weeks and my miscarriage confirmed today at that my 9 weeks baby never grew after the 6week check up.

When I do get pregnant again should I just wait 13 weeks to get my ultra sound? So I will be fully in the clear of a miscarriage or is it recommended to go earlier? The first trimester anxiety is so miserable especially after miscarriage(s).

25 Comments
2024/12/02
21:20 UTC

1

Looking for hope

Maybe this isn’t the best place for this so tell me kindly please…

Has anyone seen a fertility specialist after their miscarriage? Has anyone been successful? We miscarried back in July and have tried hard ever since, 3x in and no luck 😞. We’re wondering if it’s age. I’m 35f and he’s 39m, we both came into this relationship with one child each and it is breaking our hearts we don’t have one together.

7 Comments
2024/12/02
20:52 UTC

3

Second pregnancy second miscarriage

Just got my Anora results back, didn’t think they’d find much as this was a blighted ovum. Well they found that they had no chromosomal abnormalities & it was a girl. I feel so much worse having found out this information. This is my second pregnancy & my second blighted ovum. We didn’t do testing on the first one because we figured it was just bad luck but to find out they have no chromosomal abnormalities makes this all so confusing. I’m feeling so defeated…I see my doctor tomorrow. I’m thinking of doing recurrent pregnancy loss testing, is it too soon? I think 2 back to back blighted ovums can’t be normal. Should we try again or should we go through testing first? Has anyone ever experienced this & went on to have a healthy pregnancy?

4 Comments
2024/12/02
19:23 UTC

15

Back at work

I don’t want to be the focal point by any means but it’s my first day back since I lost the baby last Monday. My boss was out on vacation but knows and has yet to reach out or say anything. I’m not expecting a parade or a celebration but like damn it’s the harsh realization that everyone else’s world just keeps spinning while mine just falls apart. My husband had to go out of town today and kissed me and told me to be strong and I’m anything but strong today. I actually feel weaker than I did last week going in for my D&C. Last week I was pregnant and this week my baby has died and no one seems to care. It’s not that I need anyone to care really but the reality that we just have to exist through this horrible pain is too much today. I’m not strong at all and being strong is the last thing I want to be today.

8 Comments
2024/12/02
17:58 UTC

5

Still bleeding.

I lost my baby on Thanksgiving day, my OB was closed until this morning. I have called and messaged, receiving no response. It has now been 5 days of the most traumatic experience of my life.

I passed multiple clots, continue to bleed and cramp. Do I need to go back to the ER? Do I wait to see if they will call back? Please help.

2 Comments
2024/12/02
17:16 UTC

11

I still love and miss my baby

Nothing helps, nothing makes it better. This time of year makes it worse. No support, my ex won’t be here for Xmas now, so it’ll just be me in the evening. New Year’s Eve is really important to me and he won’t be here for that either, so it’ll just be me again. I think about my baby all the time.

2 Comments
2024/12/02
16:01 UTC

3

3rd consecutive MMC and I’m being made wait

The hospital is making me wait another week to scan again so “tHeY cAn Be sUrE” per the guidelines in my country! So another week of knowing my twins are nothing but yolk sacs that are not going to grow before they will even schedule my D&C. I’m 9 weeks and 100% on dates so it would take some sort of medical miracle for this pregnancy to progress! So the guts of 2 weeks to now suffer on with pregnancy symptoms knowing it’s all for nothing! I’m really angry but also so numb and can’t believe this is happening again.

5 Comments
2024/12/02
15:56 UTC

24

Missed Miscarriage

I got pregnant and it was a dream come true, I went in for routine genetic testing, they told me there was a less than 1% chance they will find anything…until they did. I found out there was a 78% chance our baby had a rare genetic condition that would make it dangerous for me to carry to term and the baby would have a next to nothing chance of survival. I had an additional symptom in my pregnancy that aligned with this diagnosis, yet, we still clung onto hope this was a mistake and it wasn’t true, because how could we ever be so unlucky to get into the less than 1%. We were waiting for further genetic testing when I had a gut feeling one day something was wrong, that something didn’t feel right. I went in for an ultrasound the day before Thanksgiving and found out our baby died three weeks earlier without me knowing. I was supposed to be 12 weeks, she measured at 9 weeks and 1 day with no heartbeat. I now keep thinking back to three weeks ago, before we got the test results back, before we knew this kind of darkness existed, when my husband, family and I were just so stupidly happy. I felt the most happy I had ever been in my life at the same time my baby passed away without me knowing. I needed help passing the pregnancy, they gave me medication and it was the most painful experience of my entire life. It has been three days now and I am left feeling empty, broken and lost. I feel incredibly guilty I can’t move past this quicker and get back to work (currently on leave). I feel angry that people are moving on with their lives when I am just stuck in this nightmare. I feel fearful that I will never want to “try again” like everyone tells me I should. I feel disgusted when my family tells me I will be a mother one day when I already am. I was a mother, and I failed as one, because I didn’t know something was wrong sooner. My baby died and I wasn’t there. There is no coming back from that.

6 Comments
2024/12/02
15:55 UTC

1

7 days post D&C and all of a sudden terrible cramping?

So I had my D&C procedure a week ago now and the pain level was mostly manageable with little to no medication. Starting last night the pain ramped up quite a lot and got worse over night into this morning … Taking Ibuprofen took the edge off but could still feel a decent amount of discomfort. I had bleeding the first day and since then I’ve had very very minimal spotting and bleeding hasn’t gotten worse since the pain has gotten worse. Anyone else experience this? 😓😣

1 Comment
2024/12/02
15:29 UTC

12

Just venting / feeling so alone in this

I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks, three weeks ago, my first pregnancy after 2 years of trying. I really thought I was doing fine - I had a natural miscarriage and even though it was painful, it wasn't as bad as I had imagined it to be. Before it started and in the days right after I was devastated about the loss but in the last few weeks I thought I was doing much better. However the past few days have been rough. I can't stop thinking about how I should be going on 12 weeks now, and sharing the news with everybody during Christmas. I keep thinking that I don't want to be pregnant again, because it would be so different. It would not be the same baby, it would no longer be the first time, I would be so scared of loosing the baby again and I would not be able to enjoy it.
I tried to talk about this with my mum who had a miscarriage as well, but when she experienced this 30 years ago, she was told it's no big deal and to just suck it up. She doesn't tell me the same, but I do feel like she thinks I am making this much larger than it is and I should be over it by now. My husband is there for me, but it's just not the same for him. I feel like the pregnancy for him was still so abstract as it wasn't his body changing, so he can't quite understand why I am sad again after being ok for a few weeks.

I just hate how alone in this I feel.

3 Comments
2024/12/02
15:21 UTC

21

Third pregnancy, third miscarriage :(

I got pregnant fairly quickly with this one, had a threatened miscarriage that we got through with the help of progesterone.

Was going for extra scans and everything looked great, even had my first appointment with the midwife. Then Friday I started to feel less nauseous. My consultant had told me loss of symptoms was nothing to worry about so I didn't.

Went in for the scan today and the consultant was absolutely silent as she scanned me. Then went to get another opinion. I knew it wasn't good.

My baby died in my womb a week ago. They had already done all the tests on me and everything came back fine so now they want to test the baby for chromosomal abnormalities when I finally pass it.

It really felt like this was the one that would go full term but no. I'm just numb now and worried about the physical side of the miscarriage and how on earth I will sort this with my job when I spend most of my day driving.

So sad today. Feels like I will never have a family of my own.

3 Comments
2024/12/02
15:13 UTC

1

First MC

Experiencing my first MC today at 5 weeks, sad but thankful that my body seems to be taking care of it naturally. My question is how long does the bleeding last? And how long did it take for your body to get return to normal? Also did ovulation return pretty quickly?

10 Comments
2024/12/02
15:09 UTC

4

Any advice for trying again after chemical pregnancy?

I am not sure if this really even counts as a miscarriage as I only knew I was pregnant for 4 days...but I tested positive last Monday and then had a chemical pregnancy on Friday (heavy bleeding and bad cramps for a day that basically turned into my period).

I wasn't sure how I was going to feel after this but my husband and I have decided to try again immediately. I'm going to go to my OB this week to get a checkup and ask questions, but I was wondering if anyone here has any advice emotionally or physically. In your experience, did you ovulate 2 weeks after the miscarriage like it was a period? Is there anything to the rumor that you're more fertile after a chemical pregnancy? (I heard the often-linked study is misleading) And how do you deal with the feelings of fear that it will happen again or disappointment if you're not pregnant again after?

9 Comments
2024/12/02
14:33 UTC

2

2nd miscarriage - different experience. Also venting

TW: bleeding / graphic description

So they diagnosed with me again threatened miscarriage, but at this point I’m sure it’s a loss.

Hcg: 11/22: 59 - 11/23: 55 - 11/25: 72 - 11/27: 176 - 12/01: 98

I have been spotting mainly. I bled heavy for a little but now it’s spotting again. I’m wondering if that means I have tissue lingering that I’ll need help miscarrying. My first miscarriage was quick, I cramped, bled like a period, and eventually passed the sac within 2 days of the initial heavy bleeding. Right now I feel like my body has just been fluctuating. I have been cramping / having twinges? Pinches? All over. Random back pains, shoulder pains, but nothing that has me doubled over. My anxiety took over last night though and I went to the ER just in case.

The idea of a D&C scares me. I’m hoping if I’m not passing it all the way, that I can just get medication?someone with medicated miscarriage, what is your experience?

Thanks yall. I had to mourn this loss twice. I got my hopes up when the hcg climbed back up. I know the OB was trying to help keep my spirits up while I waited over the holiday weekend to figure out what’s going on, but it’s frustrating. I can’t even say I’m mad anymore. Idk how to feel.

2 Comments
2024/12/02
14:11 UTC

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