I am in another state caring for a close friend who is in hospice and my spouse asked to talk, it wasn't good news and their timing is impeccable. /s

I'm just tired of them constantly needing to feel like... they're getting away with something. I'm not their parent and I've spent two decades with them only to have them pick the absolute worst times to 'act out' instead of focusing on things that would help themselves, me, our relationship, friends, anything positive - but nope.

I would always remind myself when I'd get the heartfelt apology that nobody's perfect, etc. and think about the times when people I cared for abandoned me. At the end of the day, I am allowing them to take advantage of me.

I am tired. I just want this to end. I don't have it in me to keep trying, we've been in therapy and every time its 'my' issues with them that bring us there, they don't understand why we're there - they just want to make me happy, etc. and now this.

I feel so stupid. If I don't end this relationship it will end me.

I've been with my now spouse for over 12 years, married 6. From the onset of our relationship I battled to win them over. Instantly I was compared to their former spouse and berated for any common characteristics even if the were unavoidable because many people of my set experience similar types of issues. They spent little to no effort in trying to develop an emotional connection with me and I believed it was due to the prior marriage. Well about 2 weeks ago I found a 15 page letter where they outlined every inadequacy and mistake I had ever made in great detail. This letter was written about 5 years ago and appears to be added onto regularly. I'm absolutely devastated by what was said about me, including very judgmental perspectives on personal tragedies that I've experienced such as childhood sexual assault and the tragic loss of my father. The details start from the very first night we met and progressively get worse. My spouse has never verbalized a lot of what was written and we have had a challenging relationship where I have consistently communicated that I feel very disconnected from them emotionally. I decided to tell them I read the letter and really the only response was, "you weren't supposed to read that". I'm literally devistated and feel the last 12 years are a complete lie and I've been deceived.

Here is a small excerpt from the letter;

"But I knew this would all go down like this. I knew when I married her. I just kept telling myself, you are in this for the medical benefits. I would remind myself, I really don't care about her. If she cheats on me who cares! Who ever she is with can put up with her shit cause I know she isn't for me."

This year, I went no contact with my entire family, moved across the country where I know nobody, battled a chronic illness, and overcame homelessness. Now, that the survival mode is fading, the grief is heavy. My husband also has a lot of trauma and has been through all of the ups and downs of this year with me. I wrote this today for my husband. Perhaps someone relates and it'll help them.

Grief

I feel scared I feel anxious I feel panicked I feel unsafe I feel unlovable I feel scared I feel so sick I feel tired I feel unsafe I feel hurt I feel unworthy I feel useless I feel that my future is gone I feel that my dreams will never come true I feel that I contribute nothing of value I feel defeated

I love you unconditionally

I feel scared but I still love you I feel anxious but I still love you I feel panicked but I still love you I feel unsafe but I still love you I feel unlovable but I still love you I feel scared but I still love you I feel so sick but I still love you I feel tired but I still love you I feel unsafe but I still love you I feel hurt but I still love you I feel unworthy but I still love you I feel useless but I still love you I feel that my future is gone but I still love you I feel that my dreams will never come true but I still love you I feel that I contribute nothing of value but I still love you I feel defeated but I still love you

Sometimes...

I get angry but I still love you I cry but I still love you I need space but I still love you I get frustrated but I still love you I'm mean but I still love you I'm checked out but I still love you

I love you no matter what. You are my world. I will never stop loving you. Mistakes are okay. Boundaries can be compromised. I still love you. There's no one I love more than you. Please know that and please love me until I'm me again.

I was raised by narcissistic mother with boarderline withwho was raised by narcissistic mother with life long depression sitting on pills all the time. My father was just never there. Anyways. Now I have son with narcissistic abuser (worst type)OFCOURSE. We don’t live together, but he is all the time tries to manipulate me through his son.

Do you have any suggestions of books , for single mothers who is dealing with narcissistic ex and parenting somehow parallelly ?

We're a comfortable 20 hour drive from my partner's family. Unfortunately he's considering taking a job in their hometown. It's truly a once in a lifetime opportunity which is great for him, but my stomach drops when I think of moving closer to them.

He's done okay building walls and picking the odd boundary to hold against them in the ten years we've been married, but I can say with confidence that they're the worst thing in my life and it makes me I'll thinking of being even an hour closer to them. My husband swears nothing will change but his parents literally drove for days across the country to come and "surprise us" by painting our house while we were at work. I can't decide if distance doesn't matter because they do what they want anyway, or if I need to call it quits now if he's seriously considering this?!

Anyone experienced anything similar?

Is anyone else just exhausted trying to figure out their spouses family? I wish I could just not care how they made me feel

Looking for your wise counsel… the cheating was bad enough, and it took a lot of couples therapy to get through it and learn that it really had nothing to do with me and it was all about him and his childhood trauma. I’ve listened to a lot of Esther Perel podcasts and read her book on infidelity. Really eye opening. But I’m worried my husband is scarred for life because the mistress was a narcissist who won’t let up and will create a million different emails to get back in contact with him (because obviously she’s blocked). How can we possibly move forward and try to rebuild our marriage when he feels worthless and sad and disconnected all the time? He has so much shame for the affair and shame for putting her needs/demands above my own. And so much anger that he let her in and that she’s “broken him.” And how do I come to terms with the fact that he chose this deplorable immoral abuser and dealt with all her horrible behavior for two years and still continued to be with her? I knew something was wrong and kept begging him to open up to me, but he just kept his distance. Now I know why since she was controlling his every move. I just don’t know how to move forward with us, if there’s even a possibility of “us.” I just can’t fathom how you would choose to put yourself through all that pain and suffering instead of your loving wife and family who missed you and wanted to spend time with you…I’m so heartbroken for the both of us, really.

My husband was raised by a physically abusive narc father, who I can not stand being around. Luckily we live in different countries and there’s very limited contact so we only see him once every few years (last time he made my husbands life hell trying to organise a catch up and completely ignored me when we first saw him, before attempting to love bomb me when I ignored him back).

We have two children who NFIL never contacts, never calls, always forgets their birthdays.

Last time my husband spoke to him, NFIL has decided he wants to take us on an overseas vacation that he will pay for.

I’m extremely resistant to going, and absolutely do not feel safe having my children around this man. I’ve told my husband this and he completely respects my decision.

He still struggles with telling his dad no and so I’ve said that I’m happy to message him and tell him exactly why myself and the kids won’t be going. But would this just end up causing more stress and conflict for my husband?

I don’t want to make his life anymore traumatising but I really don’t think I can handle a holiday with his disgusting Nfather. What’s the best option to go about this?

So, I was raised by multiple narcissists. I've always hated touch and hugging and I also flip out when I feel like pushed into a corner or blocked from moving a certain way. My husband is the sweetest man and we've been together since we were 17. The more I learn about my childhood and the truth of it, the more I hate these things. The problem is my husband's love language is touch and he loves hugs. He will literally hug everyone. He needs this from me. It's so hard for me though. I really don't want to lose him. He's starting to think it's his fault and he doesn't understand. He was abused growing up too but he doesn't have the same problem with touch as me. The other night, we hugged before bed and he kept his arm around me and his head was above me and all the sudden I went into a panic and yelled at him to get off of me. He wasn't even doing anything bad. But it freaked me out. He deserves better than this. I try to explain why I feel this way and why it's so hard but sometimes I don't even understand it myself. I didn't have this problem when we were 17. Can anyone relate? Does anyone have any advice?

I did it. Moved out on Dec 31 with my 3 kids (12f, 13f, 8m) after a 15 year marriage where I was convinced for so long I was the problem and I could “fix” it. So much emotional torture for so long, and an incident of physical abuse against 13f and I got out. Sent a text on Dec 31 that we are out… no response since. So grateful to his affair partner as well.

My husband thinks this may be another productive outlet. I need help. I’m obsessed… I’m an intelligent, emotionally aware 38 year old healthy female. I have 3 children and a very loving marriage with open avenues of communication. I have an analytical full time job and am a “diagnosed” idealist (that’s what my therapist calls me). After 13 years of being a part of my husband’s “Italian” family**; I simply cannot take it anymore. At first it seemed amazing to me. I came from a very small family. Minimal gatherings and when we had them, they were small. I had/have healthy communication with my parents. His family was always together. They helped each other with everything, went everywhere together, big parties, so many relatives… so much love… I fell for it. Hook. Line and Sinker. I wanted in and it was easy because I had found my soul mate. I jumped in head first. I throw huge gatherings now. I care about how other people perceive me. I am acutely aware of the family requirements and aspire to be “perfect”… I’ve been molded… Guess what? I still have feelings and I’m human… that’s no good. We don’t do that. We do what is required/expected of us and keep any and all feelings to ourselves. In contrast, I am an open (too honest) book. I offer my true feelings and emotions to anyone who asks… because, why would they want to hurt me? Doesn’t everyone want to love/help each other? No good…

Now I know; it’s all ammunition. My thoughts and feelings are actually predetermined. Regardless of how open/honest I am or what my intentions truly are; their perceptions are reality. My husbands mother is a narcissist and I’m not equip to handle it. I’ve become obsessed.

I spent the last 13 years trying to prove to them that I love them. That I’m grateful for being a part of the family. Trying to impress them. An impossible task. NOW I’m forced to accept that these things will never happen AND accept that my true intentions/feelings/reasons for needing to set boundaries will never be heard or understood. I have to do things that will cause them to DISLIKE me and accept that they will NEVER truly understand why… My brain replays scenarios where I’m able to provide logical information. True intentions. Outline how unhealthy the lack of communication is… Explain why this is causing unhappiness and unhealthiness amongst us… offer solutions and ideas on how to work on it… I’m obsessed with fixing something… explaining something… to a brick wall and I cannot seem to stop…

I have never had to deal with people like this before. As logical as I may be; my naive brain didn’t even believe people like this existed. Now I know and I can’t seem to handle it….

Any tips and tricks would be greatly appreciated. I’ll try anything…

**For reference; “Italian family” - We live 2 houses down from them. See them daily for childcare. We used to spend every Friday, Saturday AND Sunday with them. We’ve recently communicated this was too much and we would put “Sunday” dinner on the schedule… This was taken very personally (with of course no productive communication, etc.) Our lives are so intertwined, we barely needed separate calendars…. We are starting to pull back and set boundaries now that we accept the fact of the narcissism and what that means for OUR family, but… this is so hard…. And they are my husband’s parents, so he has 38 years of abuse to untangle… he’s fighting his own battle and neither of us are equip to help the other.

I don't have a relationship with my spouse's family, but we recently moved back to the same coast as them (we relocated across the country 16 years ago after dating for a short while) so the challenges were always... present, but not consistently due to lack of proximity. Fortunately, I told them from the beginning that "I have my own dysfunctional family I am estranged from, so I will not take up yours" and as far as I was concerned that was that.

For the first ten or so years of our relationship my spouse (then boyfriend) came back to spend Dec. 25th w/their family. I was in college and working multiple jobs so I didn't mind since I do not celebrate. I graduated in 2013 and experienced an extreme case of burnout after a series of health issues (having an organ removed, first ever bone break w/resulting surgery, bacterial pneumonia on Dec. 24th which was discovered by me suddenly being unable to breathe and not having anyone to transport me to the ER, etc.) and I asked them to stay with me that year even though I don't celebrate. It is a hard time of year for me due to circumstances with my family of origin whom I'm now estranged from and I felt guilty asking them to stay since I do not celebrate and their family does. Well, their parents do - they and their siblings are all atheists but go along with it because their Nmom reveres Dec. 25th.

Due to a series of... events aka 2020 coupled with I and another neighbor being harassed by racist neighbors and neo-facists literally patrolling our neighborhood we decided to leave our home. I'm still grieving this and I know my spouse is deeply angry but processing it differently. It reached the point where I was afraid to leave my home to walk our dog. I was also undergoing a series of medical treatments and I didn't know what to do so we moved back to my hometown to regroup. That's also been difficult for many reasons.

I asked my spouse to stay home in Dec. 2021 and they did, but we were both frustrated (they wanted to do things, it felt like we were rescheduling around them talking to family members on the whims of their family's convenience) and after that we finally started couple's therapy again which I'd been asking for.

Fast-forward to this year. I asked them to commit--if they wanted to, it was their choice ultimately--to spending this and future holidays w/me. Their siblings are all atheists with careers that offer time off and flexible schedules. Every year for the first 10 years we were together my spouse was the only one who went every year and Nmom was upset with them and expressed it in her typical passive-aggressive fashion the first time my spouse didn't go. It had become an expectation that wasn't challenged and it was frustrating to watch my spouse's siblings opt out of attending due to the needs of their own families, but suddenly it was an issue when my spouse (the eldest) didn't go.

So I asked in therapy that moving forward the expectation would be that my spouse and I would spend that time together and if they want/decide to go it is something we--the two of us--can talk about. I'm not entirely opposed to it and would be happy to travel on my own, etc. I just got tired of the assumption that I would be the one to stay home with the pets, etc. and take care of the house, etc. while they're gone.

They told their family and it went as expected, I never ask for details and thankfully my spouse doesn't vent a lot but understandably they may say something here and there. (They are in therapy and I encourage them to talk about it there since I have a lot of unhelpful feelings around the situation, for example their mother simply pretends I don't exist because WE chose to elope.*) We had a great time together and have been really happy with the activities we planned and just relaxing together. We've both said to one another over the last few days how nice this has been and how glad we are that we chose to do this.

Sooooooooooooooo late last night my spouse gets a call from their mom. We were in bed so they didn't pick up, but they immediately texted their siblings like 'what's up, is mom calling to give me more grief about coming?' One sibling replied, 'I will let her tell you' so now of course he's worried.

He calls this morning and finds out that on the last day of his siblings visit his mom informed them that she has a brain aneurysm and is going in for a major surgery that doesn't have a great prognosis. He told me this before leaving for work and I suggested that he plan to go down there to see her--in addition to supporting his dad--and maybe to ask his siblings to go as well to which he replied, 'they were just there.' I said, 'look, if it were me I don't care if I did just see them, I'd want to see them again if the prognosis really is this bad - but I understand and I support you in whatever you decide to do. I love you.'

I feel really bad saying this, or anything about how I feel really (I'm working through my own issues with codependency and people-pleasing tendencies) but... I feel like 'of fucking course this would happen when I speak up and ask for something that is important to me and put my needs first.' And I feel awful for feeling that way. And I'm scared that my spouse is going to resent me because he didn't spend her last christmas with her because its so important to her.

Logically I can remind myself that she's the one who chose to treat her kids the way she did and not amend for that and if she'd just acknowleged the fucked up shit and apologized we wouldn't be here -but- then I feel guilt, like who am I to judge/dole that out when nobody else in her family gives a shit or will hold her accountable.

And then I feel guilt and shame and fear. I fear my spouse will somehow blame me--those are my own issues--and, yeah. It is just a confusing and jumbled mess of emotions.

I will talk to my therapist about it but right now I'm working to support my spouse (who is acting as if nothing is wrong, that's what they do) or rather be here for them should they need support and also be kind to myself. There is a part of me that feared something like this--and if I am being honest not feeling as compassionate toward her as I feel that I should be--and I just needed a place to let these feelings rest while I sort them out. Just... even in this, I don't understand why she didn't do a video call to tell my spouse (the did a videochat on the 25th) when she told the others, but that is how she is - I am 110% certain she put on the extra guilt, and I feel my own sense of guilt/shame for feeling angry about that even though she's very calculated. i'm trying to give her grace, but I worry that since nothing has been resolved with them that it will manifest in an unhealthy way if she doesn't have a miraculous recovery and even then if that happens things will resurface that I thought my spouse and I had worked through aka my spouse will develop selective memory.

I'm sorry about the ramble, but if you read this far - thank you for listening. Ultimately I want to support my spouse. Despite their upbringing they are a kind, compassionate, and supportive individual whom I love tremendously.

Update: As of today my spouse has talked to their dad and the prognosis isn't as bad as it was reported by Nmil, there is still a surgery scheduled but a full recovery is expected. Spouse is going down for a week, I support them in that - but have also asked that they don't call me while they're there other than to tell me they got in safely. I asked that they talk to their siblings/friends for the day to day - BUT I'd be happy to talk if there is anything important going on that they want to talk about. If I didn't ask for this, they'd call me every day to make small talk while sounding annoyed after 5 min b/c it is what they're 'supposed' to do and they'll be in full-on Stepford-wife mode due to being around their family.

*That is its own story, we didn't want to have a wedding and were going come here and pay for a reception for his family to attend and she wasn't happy with that and told the relative who was going to let us use their space not to let us use it - and they retracted their offer which not something I would have done but I understand is their right. She didn't talk to my spouse for two years after that and after my spouse reached out she simply pretends I don't exist... Like they send him a holiday card and everything. Its fun.

I grew up in an environment where I conflicted with my parents some (sometimes a lot), but they basically wanted me to learn to be independent, and I watched my parents work together on projects. I've also had good experiences collaborating professionally.

My partner was raised by a narcissistic egg donor, and she's just now unpacking this. A couple years ago we bought a house together, and one of our areas of struggle has been collaborating on things like house projects: decorating, a shared vision for gardening, minor and major home improvements.

We've realized for awhile that we don't seem to have a good way to do this (work together), but now that I understand that she was RBN, it seems like the whole area is a minefield for her FLEAS. Collaborating and deciding things together means cooperatively deciding roles (who calls around for estimates? who keeps the to-do list? who picks up a bucket of KFC on busy DIY days?), i.e. negotiating boundaries.

And building a shared goal means sharing often conflicting visions, digging in to disagreement and looking for common wins. No one is wrong. But I believe my partner has no experience, either personal or professional, working with others in this way, as an equal. Rather, she leans on pleasing people and showing few preferences. In truth, she's done it so long, I sometimes think she doesn't have preferences.

At times, the pendulum will swing the other way, and she will get very frustrated that she just can't have exactly what she wants, but that is the exception. Mostly she is people-pleasing or expressing uncertainty and a lack of opinion that never resolves.

Can anyone else relate? And do you have any tips on how to help your partner learn to trust you when the stakes are, in many ways, quite small? There's not usually a lot of interpersonal hurt in this area. Meaning that picking out a rug seems a lot safer than "when you do that it hurts my feelings".

I've (25f) been with my GF (23f) around 4 years, started dating around her second year of college. Since the beginning we have struggled with communication and I've come to understand it's due to trauma she went through with her parents all throughout her childhood. I'm feeling very lost and alone, our relationship has been extremely difficult the past two years and I'm having a hard time figuring out if this is worth it for me. I love her dearly and I've never clicked so well with anyone before, she is my best friend and I can't really imagine life without her at this point. But its hard to see the light at the end of this tunnel.

Before I understood this to be a symptom of being an abuse victim, I thought maybe she was just abusive herself. She almost can't handle conflict at all, and as someone who values a relationship with open and honest communication I've struggled to find a way to come to her about issues. She almost becomes a whole different person.

I'll open up to her about something that upset me or hurt my feelings and there's defensiveness, then she'll tell me I hurt her feelings by implying something that I in no way implied. I'll reassure her that no, I don't think she meant to hurt me but I think it's important to point out a miscommunication or an issue so that she can hear my feelings and I can understand her motives etc. But she just doesn't hear me. She only hears attacks and insults. She spirals and will cry and hyperventilate and panic and eventually we put a time-out system in place that seems to work okay. Basically 5 minutes where she will breathe and journal and do affirmations, and then she can come back and let me know if she needs more time, or if she'd like to keep talking.

She struggles with beating herself up. She focuses almost entirely on who is at fault, who is to blame and what she does and doesn't deserve, vs. what I want to focus on which is basically hearing me, empathizing with how I was hurt in a situation, working on a solution for the future so we can both feel better in the future. (current situation is she absolutely NEEDS a nap if she wants to feel better or continue talking, but was refusing to take one because she 'didn't deserve' one and because she 'fucked up so much')

Every single conflict no matter how small turns into a multiple days long cycle of trying to take a break and live our lives, return when we both feel a little less daunted by the issue, then she breaks down again, and it's affecting everything. I can't make plans with friends. I can't do my WFH job because of meltdowns. I cant feel normal because every time we have any issue at all she just catastrophizes to the point of needing hours to cry and take depression naps and self regulate and be alone. All of which would be fine in moderation but she will need to do this for days until she feels ok enough to hear me out, or she will need us to just drop it altogether. I don't feel like it's fair that my feelings should just get shoved into a box because she can't handle them, but I see how much pain she is in every time this happens.

Usually when I least expect it, suddenly she will just be PERFECT about whatever conflict. She'll come back and suddenly she's on her A game and doesn't miss a single beat, and she can acknowledge that hurt was caused and that the only thing we can do is move forward and try to love each other better. But I never know when that will be, and SHE never knows.

She's in EMDR therapy right now and she is visibly improving. It's really helping her and she's not even that far in. I just don't know if it will be too little to late. I've gone through so much trauma, and for lack of a better word abuse? I know I don't deserve how she treats me. I struggle with feeling like it's my fault. I always have to fight with the idea that I will feel in my gut, "this is a bad idea, you shouldn't bring this up. she's going to have a meltdown and your next 24 hours will be hell. you will be made to feel like a huge burden and then left alone for hours while she isolates herself and if you ask for anything from her you will be put through even more emotional torture." and then I'm like ok, no, i will just tell her I'm feeling nervous. I'll tell her I'm struggling and tell her I'm not blaming her and reassure her that she's not in trouble. She'll hear me this time. I just have to be gentle.

I'm never gentle enough. the only way for me to avoid this hell is by shutting up about my feelings and dealing with it. I have to suck it up or I will suffer before I get relief.

IDK this is so long already. If I end things with her I will basically be nuking my life as I know it. We share an apartment and have 2 cats and a bunny. Our cats are best buddies and I'd have to separate them. We just signed our new lease and theres no way I can afford anywhere else in this housing economy. I would be stuck moving back with my mom and her weird bf. I'd have to rehome my bunny. I'd likely lose most of my friends because almost all of our friends are both of ours. I would lose everything essentially. Even if that wasn't the case, I love her to death. I want to see her beat this stuff. I know how hard she tries all the time. She's improved so much since we met. I just don't know if I can do it anymore.

Any advice is appreciated, conflict resolution or how to make her feel safe or whether or not I should stick this out, whatever. anything would help. thank you for reading if you got to the end <3

My wife is a survivor of narcissistic abuse (parents and ex partners) and it seems to be greatly impacting our relationship. Anyone have any book recommendations that are specifically for spouses in the situation? Everything I find is for people who have suffered the abuse and I can’t find anything that has to do with spouses of those who have experienced relational Trauma/narcissistic abuse

I am beginning to sense that a member or two of their system are narcissists, or borderline. I will have struggled for 16 years this Halloween trying to give this person I love so much a stable place to heal... But I am at my wits end. These system members I suspect come out in any situation where normally conversation would take place, but I get put to silence when I try and talk. As it is I am juggling his care with the care of my NGma who has become weak and confused enough that it's a lot like taking care of Sophia Petrillo now. I can handle an ungodly amount of things at once, but I see a very dark future ahead of me and I don't know how to get away from this or reroute the "system's" behavior somehow.

My partner's last few nervous breakdowns pared his personality down to whatever point the trauma he went through as a teen stopped his emotional growth, probably 16, and I am quite certain that leaving him or kicking him out would be sentencing him to homelessness and/or untimely death. I can't tell his therapist anything either because she just reminds me to hang in there. I am so lost and feeling very alienated.

TL;DR: Partner has alters that are narcs that don't even want to so much as hear me speak. At my wits end.

Looking for advice. My husband and I have been in counselling for three months now regarding the situation with his abusive parents. His mom is a pretty severe covert case- it is impossible to have any real conversation with her. I used to think his dad was grandiose but I think now that he is just an enabling bully who has taken on some of her traits over the years. Either way, he treats my husband like shit and they are forced to work in a business together. I didn't like this situation but I thought it is what my husband wanted. He and his father had a big reconciliation, they cried, hugged and talked about their issues. Even though I was traumatized from the previous months, I tried to put it out of my mind and have a cordial relationship with fil. Meanwhile the situation with mil got steadily worse and worse- currently no one is speaking to her in the house. My fil is very depressed about the whole thing but yet he still does not see that he is enabling her and is not willing to set any kind of consequences for her actions. My husband and I have been working on our exit strategy and are currently planning to move out Aug. 1st.

I'm writing because a few days ago, my husband told me that he doesn't plan to have contact with anyone once we are out. That he is done. This completely caught me by surprise because he had been talking before about keeping expectations low, ignoring their behaviour and how family is everything, etc. I was trying to get to a place in therapy where we could set firm boundaries with the in-laws and still live our own lives. I didn't think that he would ever want to go NC fully. It is not culturally acceptable (SAsian) and I perhaps don't want to be seen as the scapegoat who is "making" him do this. I don't know what is going on or what to think. Is it possible that I have fleas? Or am I anticipating being caught in the middle and forced to work toward reconciliation? I know that I should respect his decision but I still feel that this is a bad idea? Although I admit that my anxiety and related physical symptoms have calmed down a little bit... What should I do? Will he change his mind? Am I the one being manipulated? I am just so confused by this...