So last semester I went on a little coffee date with this girl I knew. I thought it went well as we stayed around 2 hours before she had to leave for something. We talked and learned about eachother, but i was never really blasted away by a spark.

We texted a few days after then went on winter break. Texted a little bit over that. But then I sent a really cringe message and I stopped texting because I was embarrassed.

We still communicate on social media. We like each other's posts and stories and such. And that makes me wonder if I should start talking to her again.

But on the other hand she once posted a thing about something a guy said to her on a dating app. So yeah.

I don't think I should talk to her again. but I'm curious for a second opinion.

My gf (36 yo F) and I (22 yo F) have been dating for about 4 months. When I first met her, she was a machinist working 12-hour days. A month into our relationship, she decided to return to her previous profession as a barber. She's trying to build her clientele, but l've noticed that because she now has more free time, she goes out about 4-5 times a week and drinks heavily each time.

On New Year's Eve, she mentioned wanting to spend the evening with me at the movies. I didn't know that her college friends from out of town had come to see her, and she went out with them before meeting up with me. When she came home, she was very drunk, slurring her words and being somewhat mean and argumentative. I tried to ignore it, but it really bothered me, and we had a minor argument. Once we arrived at the movies, she fell asleep almost immediately, which upset me since it was our first New Year's together. However, I understood her friends were in town, so l let it go, and we moved on.

A few weeks ago, she asked me to come over and make her dinner (spaghetti) while she was at work. I agreed and went grocery shopping. When I arrived at her place, I cleaned up a bit and waited until it was closer to the time she got off to start cooking. She was supposed to get off around 7, but didn't come home until midnight. She explained that she had to drop something off at a friend's bar and then got caught up there. I didn't cook her dinner because I noticed she was at her friend's bar through our shared location.

When my gf finally arrived home, she was very drunk and immediately got upset when she saw that I hadn't cooked for her. She ran upstairs and slammed the door to her bedroom. I felt sad because I noticed this was becoming a pattern. I went upstairs to talk to her, but she was too drunk and mean, so I went back downstairs to make her spaghetti and then slept on the couch. In the middle of the night, she sobered up and came downstairs to apologize. I forgave her and tried to move past it. Last night, after work, my gf went to play pool at a pub near her job. She was there until about 11:30 and called me on her way home, slightly drunk. She immediately started making rude comments and being a jerk. At that point, I was fed up, so I told her I needed some time to figure things out because it was a lot for me. The next day, I didn't answer her calls or texts until she reached out again after leaving the pub, saying she was sorry, etc. I called her to discuss why I was uncomfortable with her behavior, but she said she wanted to talk later. I agreed and checked her location, confirming my suspicions that she was at her friend's bar again after work at 11 PM. I texted her what I had said earlier, but I felt confused and exhausted. This is a lot, but I do love her.

Please help, I don’t know how to approach her without it becoming an argument !!

hey mom and dad.

its me. the kiddo who legit threw everything into his car and escaped his emotionally abusive home. i am physically safe, but my emotional safety is all over the place. i kinda need advice and to vent so this is gonna be kinda long.

um freedom is both freeing and scary. I'm able to hang with friends longer, or sleep in, or go out in the evenings to like a cafe or restaurant. (I'm a good kid I promise) but I feel really bad for just dissapearing like that because in the moment, I didn't feel safe. i legit cried in church last Sunday bc I felt extremely trapped, and last Tuesday, I didn't even want to get up out the bed bc I was legit so sad.

flash forward to a week later, I'm safe but adulting is really hard and its harder when you don't have your mom and dad. my barber called me out, saying that I should've had the sit down with them, instead of just dissapearing. when my mom called this past weekend, she said that it was okay that I wanted to move out, but that I "slapped her in the face and made her feel stupid" because I sneaked out and she didn't know anything about it. oh and my personal favorite "the bible says to honor your mother and father, and by upping and leaving without any notice, I disobey that commandment and God is not happy with me". like I know she was hurt and is worried, but like be fr

it feels weird and wrong to call that home emotionally abusive. and even now, I'm just in this weird state where I'm barely surviving. to the internet parent who said 5 jobs was a lot, your damn right. its four now bc yk, I left the company. and my parents just talk to me with one word answers. and maybe it wasn't the best decision to leave, but like cmon. if you constantly yelled and screamed at someone for long enough, they wouldn't be able to take that shit no more.

the nightmares----growing up in a really strict Christian household, I was raised in the mentality of "the world is so scary and treacherous, we and God are the only ones that are good enough for you". and that didn't pan out to well. but also, the sex thing. we never talked about it except outside of dad making some lewd jokes, and mom freaking out when she found condoms. i also discovered a certain type of material when I was twelve, and obvi was shamed the hell out of it. this morphed into me masturbating to cope, but falling into this cognitive distortion of me doing it, causes all sorts of bad things to happen. from friends cancelling plans, to have rough days with my baby sister when I was watching her, to big yelling lecture from my parents, and having sh/permanently disappearing thoughts.

and so for the first time yesterday, I tried ignoring the spiral that happens after I do it and just distracting myself at my university job, being over the top with friends and being the funny friend, etc. and it felt great to not spiral in the moment, but as I was leaving uni from a rough day everything just went downhill. i zoned out on my 35 minute drive home, and just feel into a huge depression, becoming really dissociated. i skipped comp 105 for like the 4th time this semester because I do not have the energy to critically think, and quite honestly I don't want to. yes ik, tough shit. life sucks and we have to do hard things. I'm forcing myself to go to a coffee shop after work today and before my midnight shift, to lock all the way in.

but I had all sorts of nightmares last night about leaving home, and being completely disowned form family, having to work multiple jobs to pay for college and survive, etc. not to mention the fact that I'm dissocaiting so bad rn, and I have to go into work in a couple of hours. (same place where I'm working the midnight/overnight tonight) and though one part of me is proud for just ignoring the spiral to stave it off and hopefully challenge that distortion, a huge part of me wants to just go back to my old ways of thinking, where I do the thing every two days and have two shitty days, and one not so shitty day, before it starts all over again.

that has been going on for years. my university therapist knows. and she says that its going to take a while to deconstruct and get rid of everything and rebuild, it wont happen overnight. which is true. but I also want to switch bc almost every session I come out feeling like she was way too professional. shes a doctoral candidate so ik the stakes are way higher, and shes under constant supervision and stress, but she legit really didn't react to anything I said fr for the first month. then she started opening up more, and smiling, and laughing. but then that professionalism filter goes right back on the end and it makes me feel shitty af. and I cant really move to private practice bc my medication management is through the university, and I would have to pay out of pocket for the psychiatric appointments, as they don't take my insurance.

i need someone long term. my first three therapists were doctoral candidates and so I only saw them for 7-9 months each. and as much as I want to move to long-term, I don't have the bandwidth to reintroduce myself to someone new and have to go through that whole process again. so I'm gonna thug it out for now.

the second to last thing, religion. ik that its everyone's own path, and no one can answer that question but myself, but like its really hard me to hear just pray about it and have faith. i grew up with that. and don't get me wrong I've love praying and having that connection, but sometimes I need an actual human being. i need hugs, someone to lay my head on, someone to listen without immediately jumping to just pray and have faith. bc the fact of the matter is that I unfortunately have very little faith rn. I'm doing all the right things by going to bible study twice a week and being in a new church, but its like one step forward and a bajillion back. and its hard bc all of my Christian friends around me do still struggle, but they are much further along in their faith walk than I am. meanwhile I'm out here being a heathen, talking like asilor with my friends and my boss.

the last thing, jobs/money. are there any financial literacy resources you could recommend or try to find? and yes four is still too much, and not gonna lie it was gonna be 6 in a minute. most of these are part time that don't pay very well on their own. I'm thinking to take a month off my midnight/overnight jobs at least, and try to put my focus into like 2. my university job I can work 12 hours a week (up to 20 is university rule, but the departmental budget is a lil tight), which is 24 hours per pay period, and like 330 take home. or if my boss approves the 20hr maximum we're looking at about 630 take home, every 2 weeks. i doubt that max will get approved, so because I literally am itching to do IT/AV work, I found a bunch of A/V install companies with job openings and that's like 30hrs per week. now that we out, we have to hustle to meet rent.

last last thing. how do you get better at the basic self care things. bc I literally have not showered in 3 days bc I feel like I didn't deserve it, and didn't brush my teeth since two days ago bc I was exhausted. i know health is important.

thank you for listening. I've been up since 2 so I'm gonna try to lay down for a bit, and then have cereal, and slowly clean my new room. apologies for the spellign

as the title suggests, can someone just try reminding me that i matter? it may sound like i want pity and i guess i do, but- im really just struggling mentally.

basically the title; I, (M-24,) live at home with Mom. The increase happened to conveniently coincide with my disability benefits switching from the ridiculous amount that I was getting from SSI, to the slightly more tolerable amount that i get from dad's survivor's benefit. you can look through my comment and post history to see more about the situation because it's probably more than I can explain here. I'm just frustrated and don't know what to do. I want to leave but that's easier said than done. Again, for more information on that whole situation look through my posts and comment history. what do I do when the person I'm living with, who I pay rent to raises my rent for no other reason than the fact that I'm getting more money? I think it's completely ridiculous.

I (19ftm) haven’t spoken to my dad for 6 years, and he was very absent from my life my whole childhood. Never paid child support, didn’t ever call me, never made an effort to see me, etc.

Three days ago, he finds my Facebook and sends me a long, rambling essay that starts with “I don’t know who you’ve become or how you see me, but I want you to understand some things about your mom, me, and our story.” Overall the essay is pretty awful, and goes on several tangents about my mom, and how I “hurt him” by not calling him myself when I was a child-preteen.

Some excerpts being “ We had our arguments, and one time I lost my temper and threw a computer monitor. I replaced it, but your mom used that moment against me later, claiming I had abused her. I never, ever laid a hand on her. That’s the truth, and if you don’t believe me, ask her. Look her in the eyes and ask.” And “I don't have to listen to it. I don't deserve the disrespect and frankly you owe me an apology you want to be treated like a man then act like one. Only women hide from accountability for their actions men are always held accountable women Dodge. And that's the damn truth son.”

I responded. I don’t know why I feel so obligated to reconnect with him after he sends me this long, manipulative message, but I guess I’m worried about him?

We’ve been talking and it started off fine. But he’s just, so much. He’s constantly sending me long, uncomfortable rants about how much he loves me and hates my mom for putting space between us. He also sometimes go off on kind of scary things, like how he will find and kill my abusive ex step father.

I’m just unbelievably uncomfortable, and I don’t know what to do. I agreed to see him this Sunday, but he’s going on tangents about how “he’s gonna take me somewhere beautiful” so we can “spend all day together”.

Any advice?

I’m sick and at home bored and I enjoy helping ppl find providers! If you’re in the U.S. and you don’t have the energy to look yourself, I’ll help you find options for a therapist or a psychiatrist. I can send you options, email/call to see if they have openings, etc.

If you just want to know how, I recommend using the website psychology today!

(also lmk if you have ideas of other subreddits where I can post this message)

hey guys so i’m (16F). basically i live with my mom and dad. so what im wondering is if it is wrong to try and report my dad for emotional abuse? i guess the question would be what qualifies as emotional abuse? and what happens when a pardons get reported for it?

i have depression and have been in therapy for a while now. my mom knows how my dad treats me and makes me feel. she’s even talked to him about it before but he won’t change. so i just want to take the next step and get someone else involved. i am thinking about telling my therapist and asking if he can file a report. would he be able to do that or would anything come of it?

Is it normal to do this as a kid?

Tw: possible abuse? Is it normal to every night to massage your mothers feet because she said so and your gonna do it? Me and my sister would massage each foot every night and then she would give us a treat or something and then yell at us to go to bed.

I’ve told five adults and a close friend personally about this and they all agree it was atleast inappropriate or grooming but, I’m not completely sure because I don’t know if it’s just my perception of his actions that make it seem that way, so I’m going to try my best at being clear, be warned I still have a feelings towards this person.

Let’s call him “HB”, I was a freshman (F14 at the time ofc) when all this took place, I was very attracted to HB when I first saw him…he was my type even before I stepped into the school. HB was my science teacher, it was really fun because I LOVE science so I was really active in that class-that said I started crushing on him just a little bit I mean, he’s my type, he loves the same subject I do, and he’s young BUT he’s married and my teacher. Also, around this time I started watching Pretty Little Liars, even though I was already into things like L0l!ta and other things I probably shouldn’t have been ingesting as a minor that gave me weird fantasies about “love”, when I was gym while a friend and were hiding out skipping basically- I told her that I found HB attractive because in my mind finding someone attractive doesnt. She started laughing and freaking out saying “I’m going to tell him” at the time I didn’t really take her seriously and just hope she forgot throughout the day.

But fortunately for me she did tell him, went right up to his desk and told him.

It was the beginning of class so I couldn’t even escape if I wanted to. I’m thinking my head “He probably thinks I’m so weird” and etc., it was humiliating and she was just laughing the whole time. So, I decided to apologize to him because it is inappropriate for me to attracted or to have a crush on a teacher or any authority figure right? When I did, he just said while smiling “it’s… okay, it happens…a lot of girls have crushes on me” i don’t know but it made me feel comfortable to be around again it was nice to know that at the time. After, that I started going to games he was in a student vs teacher tennis game and he was HORRIBLE at it, the only reason to it was to see him. Around the same time as that, there was a basketball that me and a friend went decided to go to, just for high school memories (I regret going and know who your real friends are!), but while I was there I remember one of his co-workers friends say on the intercom “Here comes Mr. B’s girlfri-“ he was cut of and distinctly remembered watching HB pulling the mic from the guy but I genuinely don’t know if it happened for some reason no one anything about it, but me and a friend were talking about him while we were there and all the coworkers walk down stairs, we continued talking because we didn’t see him and then he we hear someone walking and it’s him, HB we make complete eye contact and he’s smirking I’m talking about him kinda loud so whole heartedly think he heard me but him and the coworkers were going to secluded spot on campus and he kept looking back at me(?), later I left early because I was not enjoying myself and he was cleaning up a like stand or something I was looking down at my phone at he said “hello, my name” I looked up and we made eye contact, I just said hi back because I wasn’t in the best mood and just continued walking but I looked back and he was just looking at me smiling and he quickly put his head down.

Throughout this I’m talking (i will admit I was flirting) to him daily also being active in class btw. After this I believe, I decided to stay after in his class for a few minutes to get some alone time with him, we start talking and he gets quiet all of the sudden with a flustered expression he looks out the door for a second and moves closer towards me at the time I thought he was moving away from me but when I moved back he stopped.

Later, we’re all in class…and I asked if he had any socials and he admitted he had Facebook, I started searching for it but i couldn’t find and he told me it was nickname, we all knew nickname so I quickly found after. I told him about the day after and he didn’t seemed bothered or anything. Later, when I was putting away an assignment for chemical equations or something up and he walks over and starts playing with my journal which was random because why would just start doing that ya know? I did get defensive because it’s my journal yk? Anyways, I did feel kinda bad and wanted to make drastic changes, so one day while everyone was in an opposite corner I went over and started touching his jeans, slowly moving my hand from his knee to his groin area, I know this is bad really bad and something I should never have done because I felt like it, I do believe I SAed him. I think the comfort to do that comes from my past experiences as a minor which ofc is not an excuse but something that definitely comes into play. He did move away, he looked kinda shocked and I kinda just backed off for a bit I stopped talking to him for bit and stuff because at the time i don’t know why I really did it, after like 2 days he initiates talking to me again which made me feel great I acknowledged him but I didn’t say much because he was just now getting back comfortable with me.

After so time some more flirting and stuff, there was a silly-string event at my school to raise money and he volunteered to be sprayed lol, when I was at the purchasing table he sped walked to ask me if was getting to get a ticket to spray; tbh I had no intention of getting one because of social anxiety, but I got one just for him I didn’t think nothing of it because like 50 other girls also signed up so I thought there was only a 1/50th chance of me being picked.

I was wrong.

I was coincidentally picked to spray him, it was so awkward and one of the worst experiences ever so far. Sometime later, we’re doing a PH project, I’m ignoring him because I’m trying to get over him (didn’t work obviously) but he keeps trying to talk to me but I ignore it, but eventually he bends down and whispers in my ear “How does this make you feel?” It was said in a really intimate tone, I was shocked and I think he was shocked when he did it because he quickly moved away. It was confusing because I wasn’t even sure if it happened but I remember the heat I felt on my ear and his breathing.

But, it reignited my feeling toward him, after that would stay after the class to talk him asking him questions about his life and stuff he always gave me a honest answer it was really nice and stuff but yeah then i left the school lolz

How do i open up to my mom? We are losing touch and I want to build a better relationship with her.

I feel ashamed for the fact I have no life. I have nothing going on. I’m living at home and even my family tired of it. They constantly pushing me to go outside. Like getting a job, go back to college, make some friends and learn driving so you can independent on your own.

Yes I do want to go outside my house and do all this things but I’m too worried about what others might think of me. Because my main insecurity is my age. I feel ashamed the fact I have no relevant job skills nor do I have the life skills. My social communication skills as I seem to carry shame. I badly want to get education because I want a stable job. I did work in fast food, warehouse and retail.

I (M23) am currently trying to go to grad school by applying next year in 2026. I graduated May of 2024 and came back home for a gap year and it’s been rocky to say the least. Home life and events reminded me quickly why I never wanted to come back even though I thought I could tough it out for a few years. I have a friend graduating in May of this year and I got the idea if we could move into a 2 bedroom apartment together in a big city. I look at it as a rarity to live with a close friend after we’ve both graduated college because most people leave and go their separate ways.

Unfortunately I am closeted and my parents don’t know and recently I’ve been meeting someone (M) and enjoy them and want to be official and out with them. Also unfortunately they are religious parents and I’m waiting until after I move out to tell them. In addition, I’ve started therapy and the healing I also need is me being independent and on my own away from the negativity of my small town. Within the last 6 ish months I lost all of my inspiration for my future career goals and life and felt so lost and low.

How do I bring it up to them that by me getting a job, and affording (nearly all) of the expenses I should move out for better opportunities? To anyone that’s been in this position how did it go over with your parents?

I'm new to this subreddit but I figure I might try it out.

I don't know what's going on with my life right now. I'm 18 and very lost. My entire life, I've molded myself into the expectations of my friends and family members, being a good student, reliable friend, and emotional support sibling. But I'm kind of tired, a bit burnt out perhaps. I've made a lot of big changes recently. I've moved halfway across the globe to attend college., leaving my family behind. But even though a lot of people might think that's the reason for my anxiety, it isn't. I've been feeling this way for a very long time, but it's becoming a lot to hide now. Sometimes, in the middle of class, or even when I'm talking to my friends, I zone out and start having dark thoughts. Therapy is an option, but it isn't a free one. And I can't trauma dump on my friends, that's just weird. So here I am.

I think I've mentioned this before, but I feel really lost. I don't know what to do with my life, but I know what people expect for me and I know that even if I have the potential to fulfill those expectations, I wouldn't want that for myself. And everyone around me seems to have it all figured out. They know exactly where they want to go and how they are going to get there. Not to mention, everyone has someone to rely on when there are bad days. I am the person that everyone relies on, that everyone spills there thoughts and emotions out on, but when it's my turn there isn't really anyone I can talk to. The chronically single, emotionally available friend.

I think I've yapped enough, lmao. I'm not looking for any advice in general, I just wanted to post this somewhere. Who knows, maybe it'll help.

Hey Reddit,

I’m (22F) dealing with a tough situation and could really use some outside perspectives. I met a guy (let’s call him guy #1(23M) ) when we were both 19. I was attracted to him personally but not physically. We stayed together for two years, but our relationship was always a struggle. We were constantly broke, living place to place because neither of our parents are in our lives. There were no gifts, no dates, or small gestures because he thought they “weren’t good enough.” I tried telling him that it’s the thought that counts, but he never really seemed to get it. Still, he treated me amazingly, and he never mistreated me in any way.

After two years of this “struggle love,” I ended the relationship because I couldn’t keep going through the same cycle.

Fast forward to meeting guy #2(21M), and I’m physically attracted to him, he was great in almost every way—funny, kind, caring, everything I wanted emotionally. But I found out he was cheating on me with multiple women throughout our entire relationship. I ended the relationship immediately after finding out about the infidelity. He also has some underlying emotional baggage that contributed to his poor choices, but he’s now proving that he’s trying to do the emotional work to address it.

Here’s where I’m stuck: Guy #1 has gotten on his feet and wants me back now that he feels like he understands what I needed emotionally in the relationship. The issue is, I’m still dealing with residual feelings for guy #2, and the hurt from his betrayal is still fresh. Part of me feels like guy #1 deserves a second chance once I’ve completely healed from this major heartbreak, but at the same time, I don’t want to rush back into anything without being certain.

Honestly , I’m not sure if I even want to go back to either of them. I just want peace at this point, honestly. I’m torn between wanting to move on from both relationships and trying to figure out what my heart truly wants. Has anyone been in a similar situation? What should I do? Should I even give either of them another chance, or is it time to just move forward and find peace on my own?

TL;DR: Dated guy #1 for two years—he treated me amazingly but we struggled financially, living place to place since neither of our parents are in our lives. Ended things because I couldn’t keep living in “struggle love.” Met guy #2, who I was physically attracted to and emotionally connected with, but found out he cheated on me with multiple women the entire relationship. Ended it immediately. Now, guy #2 is trying to do the emotional work and wants me back, and guy #1 has gotten on his feet and also wants a second chance. I’m still healing from the heartbreak and unsure if I want either of them. Should I give guy #1 another chance once I’ve healed, or just move on and find peace on my own?

obvs a throw away account, just don't know what to do or who even to ask lol

Hey everyone thanks for readying, sorry if this comes off as whiny or ranty, also sorry if this doesn't fit the sub. :)

So essentially I'm currently half way through my second year of highschool. And I have no friends and it seems nearly impossible to find anyone I could even relate with and enjoy spending time with.

I have social anxiety and have trouble communicating to people. Another thing that makes this more difficult is the fact that I live in Lithuania, and despite being born and raised here. My primary language is English instead of Lithuanian which I have a lot of trouble speaking in, given that a good 60-80 percent of the entire school is more fluent in Lithuanian than english this is an issue. I can more elequently communicate my thoughts, emotions and feelings in English. As it very naturally rolls off my tongue, while in Lithuanian I'm constantly struggling trying to get my grammar right and say the right things so the other person understands what I'm saying.

This has been an issue for me since I was a child as I was practically raised on English/American media. So I've pretty much always had trouble communicating in my native language.

Aside from that. I've also always been extremely shy, preferring to just kinda stay silent and only really respond with nods and 'mhms'. I remember my mom telling me a story from when I was in kindergarten where I would always just hide under the table and not speak to anyone for a while. Presentation's and similar absolutely terrify me to the point of wanting to skip school.

Anyway, back to the present, I don't really have any friends in my actual class, as I don't really like them, due to most of them being loud, rebellious, disrespectful, etc...

I've pretty much spent my entire time in highschool friendless, really the only friend I had was this girl who actually approached me and started talking to me, we ended up being ttogether for a single day lol. Really the only reason that kind of happened was because she specifically approached me and seeked me out. Otherwise it wouldn't have happened.

I don't really understand how I'm supposed to make friends or anything like that, like simply approaching somebody seems impossible. Not only in how difficult it would be for me in terms of social anxiety, but the fact that I don't even know what'd id say, and most of the time I even see anyone, they're typically already in their friend group or busy doing something they wouldn't want to be interrupted in.

I'd love some advice on how to make friends or maybe more

Anyway thanks for reading again :)

I don't know if this is the right place to go but gosh I feel like parents will have encountered this and have answers for me. My bf's work shirts are made of complete polyester and I cannot, for the life of me, get the cat hair to stop sticking to them. I don't set them down on anything after pulling them from the dryer and there's already cat hair on them! The lint roller doesn't even grab it off so he's constantly covered in this cat hair and i'm at my wits end. My washer is clean the dryer vent is cleaned every use, what the heck do I do?? It's only his polyester blends that attract every ounce of cat hair and doesn't let go.

Please help.

I'm 20 right now I'm recovering from a hip replacement, I have next to no friends, the guy I love told me he loved someone else, I can barely leave my house, I might not get into uni. I don't feel okay I don't know how to feel okay, every night I can't sleep because I'm constantly thinking and can't seem to stop.

Edit: please stop pushing medication and therapy on me! Both me and my doctors decided it did not work for me and they are happy with where I am. Just because someone has a blip in their mental health does not mean you guys can continue pushing and telling me why I'm wrong to not keep trying with it

TL;DR on the bottom. This is a long one. For the first time in my life, I (27f) felt like I found someone that actually likes me for me. Not for my body, not to just use me, not as a mother substitute. I was so scared at first to have a crush. I'm not in a good place mentally and I have loads of baggage. I told him everything, when it was clear that I like him and he likes me. I told him I want him to get to know me first, when he asked me to be his girlfriend. That he should really think about it, because I'm not an easy person. That I have a lot of anxiety and trust issues. That I'm working on all of it but it's nothing that will change from one day to another. He was sad but agreed and told be, I should ask him , when I'm ready. He was always kind, empathic, understanding. Gave me a sense of security, that I'm fine the way I am. He has bagge too, he said. He told me about his baggage and it's unfortunately very similar to mine in some cases. We were connecting beautifully and he always told me that I should stop worrying about being too much and that my need for closeness is not something he is used to, but that I should not stop seeking it. He will tell me, when something bothers him. He told me this over and over again. I told him that I was scared about him seeing everything with rose tinted glasses and that he will not want me after. I told him about other instances where this exact scenario happened. He told me, while he can't deny that he is crushing hard and having a bias, he still thinks that I'm amazing and that nothing will change that. So after having a talk with my big sis about my worries, coming to the conclusion that my anxiety stems from me feeling inadequate because I finally met someone truly amazing that likes me as I am, I felt courageous enough to ask him on New year's eve at exactly 0:00 if he wants to be my boyfriend. I even bought him flowers and because I met his parents this day, I brought them sect and Chocolate. He was so happy, beaming even as he said yes. It all seemed so perfect. And I know that nothing is perfect but it felt like a dream come true. Sex was amazing as well, we just clicked in so many things. Even if I had a mental breakdown, because I finally had a good experience when in my past they where always negative, he was there for me and told me, that it's alright. He is a big introvert and wants loads of time for himself and while I'm not that, It was fine with me if he needed space or wanted time for himself. He always told me that he will tell me if he needs time alone. So I just believed that. Well... But he didn't do that. The week before his birthday, I had a meltdown because he mentioned that he actually dislikes sleeping in bed with other people and hasn't been sleeping well when I'm around. I told him, that I'm sorry and that he shouldn't do anything he does not want to but he ensured me that it's fine and he's taking not sleeping well over seeing me less. That he just does not want me to stay over more than one day for that reason and that maybe he can get used to it in the future. It calmed me down but he still embraced me and held me until I felt better. When I went home, it was one hour after I was supposed to leave and I could tell he felt drained, even though he wasn't saying anything. We met again early in the morning on Saturday, his birthday, because we went into the mountains to stay at a mountain hut with his dad and sister. It was amazing! But I also noticed, that he's been dismissing everything I said the whole day. When I infodump about something or he did something I deemed unsafe, he basically told be, that it's stupid to worry about that and that it's fine. We had a great day otherwise, even had a night long look at the gorgeous starry sky. Before we went to bed, I told him that I kinda feel disrespected emotionally and also not being taken seriously with the stuff I know if he dismissed me like this. He suddenly went cold and said that he does not want to talk about stuff he deemed unnecessary, so he just reacts this way. A long emotional, but calm discussion ensues in which he tells me, that he dislikes how I always try to fix everything and he does not want any help from me. At all. It fucking hurt. But I calmly told him, that I will try hard to not make him feel uncomfortable like this again, to mind my own business and that he should be more respectful to me in return, if he does not want the help I'm offering. We agreed on that and he hugged me and told me he's proud that I stood up for myself and that I did nothing wrong. We had some fun sledding down the mountain the day after and when we said goodbye to each other, after eating cake with his relatives, things seemed very tense. I wrote him that I need time for myself for the next two days and fel horrible, blaming myself for making things so difficult but also because, again, I was deemed too much by a person I love. When I asked him on Tuesday, if everything is good between us and if he wants to call, he just wrote that he does not want to talk and needs time, without answering, if we're okay. The next few days where horrible. I just couldn't do it anymore last Sunday. I told him, while I respect his need for solidarity, I need an answer about our relationship. That it hurts to not know where I stand. Even tried calling him 5 hours later, whiteout success. Well, about 10 hours after the text, he answered that he wanted to call me, but because I can't wait, he'll do it like this (Like, why not just call me?) and that he does not think we're compatible, he thinks he needs more space and, while I should not feel bad about needing closeness that I'm too needy for him and he also wants to grow as a person and can't do that if he has someone at his side that is not stable herself. That he wants to talk if he feels better, if I want to as well. I'm heartbroken. I was always honest, direct and straightforward with everything. I always told him what my deal is and how I am. And in the end, the reason he broke up about, was the stuff he told me not to worry about. He never talked to me about it. Never asked me to find a compromise. He just ate everything up and dumped me, when it was too much. I just don't want to date again. I had so many relationships, romantic and platonic, that where toxic, horrible or lied to themselves about how much they actually liked me. I don't think he's a horrible person. But his best friend told me, that she thinks he's stupid for not talking with me, an asshole for ending things like this. And that he's in a really bad mental state. And while she can't tell me everything he said, because she is his best friend, she thinks everything could've been fixable if he just opened his mouth. Well, now I'm here, grieving. My friends are amazing, helping me through everything. But it hurts. So much. I just can't exist some days. I want it all to stop. Am I really that unlovable? Do I care too much about people? I don't even know if he ended stuff even though he likes me or because he does not like me as much as he thought he would. I know nothing and it's braking me. I'm suffering and I don't know, what to do right now. I know things will get better over time. But what can I do now? I'm not mad he broke up. I would never be mad about this, it's his right to do that. I'm disappointed, he never gave me a chance to understand things and I'm mad he made me suffer like this. I'm sad he left me like this. I just feel so worthless and exhausted right now. TL;DR: The first relationship that felt not abusive or like I'm being used for something fell apart because he did not talk to me about what's bothering him, told me that everything was fine and the moment he realised that things where not fine, he ended everything with a WhatsApp message after letting me stew for several days when I asked him, if things where okay between us.

Okay, so this subreddit has became a sort of safe space to me over this past week. I think many of you will recognise me as the 21F from England who left her abusive house with no idea where she would end up and with barely anything to her name. But for those who don’t know and want to catch up:

1st post, 2nd post, 3rd post

So, today is Day 3. I’m more settled now, I’ve been feeling comfortable in my independence. I’ve gone out and bought essential groceries for myself. I’ve been eating and I’m glad to say I’m alive and well. As the days go on, I feel so much confidence in the decision I took. I know there’ll be a low point in the future (maybe once my period starts again next month and my hormones are out of wack) where my loneliness will overwhelm me, but I’m prepared. I know it’s natural, it’s inevitable and it’ll pass :)

I’ve also got therapy scheduled for Wednesday 5th February! I’m glad it’s happening- I’ve simultaneously left the abusive environment and starting my healing journey. Yay

In regards to drama at the house I left, my little sister called me to tell me that my mother doesn’t even know I’m gone yet. I mentioned in my previous posts that when my mum would fight with me and say the most horrible stuff (or in this case, hit me), she would ignore me for weeks. This is still the case, she’s still “ignoring” me, so she hasn’t checked my room. She hasn’t seen me either (obviously lol I’m long goneeee), so she has assumed that I’ve barricaded myself inside my room and that I only come out when she’s at work😂😂

With that context in mind, my sister told me the funniest things that have happened since I left. 2 days ago in the car when my mum was dropping my siblings off to school, she started shouting at my sister. Nothing new there, but my sister almost burst out laughing when my mother began ranting crazily about “that sister of yours that hasn’t even left her room in days and has stunk up the place, is that who you wanna be like?!!”

Then, yesterday morning, apparently she was angry at another sibling and went upstairs to shout at them for not being ready to go to school. She was passing my room and decided to knock aggressively whilst shouting through the door. She was yelling about how this is her house, I have no right to (her words) “shout and abuse your own mother then lock yourself in your room and avoid all responsibility!! you WILL come out! If I am back and you’re not out then watch what happens !!”

Mind you, she’s saying all this with the door closed. It’s 7am, I’m not there, I’m 10 miles away sleeping in another bed. Who tf was she screaming at 😂😂😂😂😂😂

When my sister was telling me this I was genuinely dying of laughter. I couldn’t believe the level of ridiculousness. Like what do you mean you’re screaming at someone through the door, not knowing if they’re there or not, yet wasting your breath anyway. She didn’t even take a peek to ensure I had heard her🤣🤣🤣

As funny as it was, it also made me realise the craziness I lived in my whole life. My mother felt so comfortable in abusing me because she genuinely believed there was no limit for me. All my other siblings, she holds back because she doesn’t know how far she can go before they’re irreversibly pushed away. With me, she exploited my sensitivity and clear desperation for a loving mother. She felt so comfortable saying whatever, doing whatever, thinking I’d never go anywhere despite it.

The day after her attacking me, she was quiet, telling my sister to bring me food. She knew she was wrong at least at first.

The day after that, I left in the morning as you all know. Since then, I haven’t been back as I have everything I need for now. So she hasn’t seen me. Yet she assumes I’m still there.

And because she assumes I’m still there, she is relieved that the small doubt she had about me actually leaving (which came from me telling her I would after taking my suitcase upstairs on the day of the attack) was gone. And so because her belief that I’ll never leave is reinforced again, she now feels comfortable twisting everything to make it seem like I was the one who attacked her, even shouting at me for it… through a closed door that I am not behind, lol

It’s hilarious, this is what I’d have to endure if I stayed. I have never ever felt more secure in my decision than now. I was right - anything else would have been better for me than subjecting myself to more of her bullshit.

Anyway, that’s enough on the update front. I’m sure I’ll have another story to tell when she finds out that I actually did leave. I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see that reaction. I’ve already blocked her because I do not want her contacting me at all, and that’s bringing me much needed peace right now :)

[edit]

It’s been 4hrs since I posted here, after reading some comments and thinking to myself I’ve decided to unblock her just to ensure any messages that come through can be used as evidence if needed. Muting it though, just to preserve my peace like I mentioned

I forget my bag in a bus and it has some very very important things, like a book that my grandma gave me and a lot of comics that cost me a lot of money, a phone and half of my clothes. I have no chance of seeing that again and I don't know what to do with myself. I kind of wanna die. I don't know what to do with my life without this things.

Edit: I checked with the bus company, and they don’t found it so it’s probably got stolen

I (14) was born and raised in a certain city, my parents have always been married, my father never stopped being a good father, but that's it, he was a bad husband.

He never let me lack for anything, whenever I asked for something he would do it for me, whether it was material or something emotional, however, he is an explosive father and whenever he got nervous he ended up being rude with his words, there were few times he hit me , and if it did hit, it wasn't something scandalous.

Well, my parents always argued because sometimes my mother caught suspicious conversations on his cell phone, sometimes they both told each other to go to that place, in short, it was a terrible lack of respect.

In the year 2023, my mother was planning a birthday party for me, she had already ordered some things, rented it, etc. My birthday is on the 8th of July, if I'm not mistaken, it would fall on a Saturday, on the Sunday of the week before my birthday, my mother was cleaning the house to have a party, on Wednesday she found out that my father wanted to meet with a cousin of his, my mother never called much, but in conversation this cousin of his said "ah, but won't your wife be mad at us seeing each other?", things like that, and my father also told her to call him at certain time, when neither my mother nor I we were at home.

So, they argued a lot, on Friday, one day before my birthday, he went to his mother's house and on Monday he filed the divorce papers! My mother was devastated, she cried a lot, we never left her side.

At the end of 2024, she decided to move to a city 3 hours away from my old city, me, her and my 26-year-old older sister, this obviously affected me, I found myself alone and without friends, and my first year High school seems to be terrible, here people live a lot in groups, so I don't know what to do!

My mother and I don't get along very well, sometimes we fight like cats and dogs (I'm not saying aggression, but a lot of screaming), my mother is a narcissist and I'm tired of putting up with her, everything has to revolve around her and she She doesn't see that everyone left their lives in the old city for her.

Well, I need opinions on this, I'm truly confused. Remembering, my father is still living with my grandmother, but he is already looking to buy a house with my stepmother.

Was failing to become a Marine.i thought they were so cool and bad ass. I have ADHD and bad anxiety, I am also very impulsive, so a few years after 9/11 I got it in my head I wanted to become a Marine. I never should have got through screening to be honest but somehow I did.

I remember getting to Paris Island. A couple days in we go into a room and they tell us this is the time to admit to anything. My impulsiveness kicked in and I went up and said I was anxious, and then I started bawling my eyes out.

I was surrounded by drill instructors screaming at me and I shutdown and fell to the ground. I was quickly taken to an office and was told I was done basically.

I spent I think a week in a separation area. I remember one person who kept causing problems and was constantly in trouble to the point the DI said at least I was better than them and did as I was told. I remember just cleaning and being in fire watch.

When I was finally released a DI whispered I. My ear to not be afraid of my own shadow, and some other things, I could barely focus but it was a pretty good pep talk, which was odd coming from them because earlier they said if they saw me again they would kill me..

I remember being sick and hiding it because I would have to stay longer. My parent got me and I left, I remember stopping at Darlington racetrack and walking around the track and the. Going home.

I feel I have accomplished most things I set out to do but this one still hurts, I completely failed.

To make a long story short, I am in a toxic household that I cannot escape. I'm so close to either running away or killing myself. I wish I had the connections to get people to help me out here but I don't. Should I go on apps and try to find someone to communicate with in my area so they can help me? Is there anywhere I can go without losing everything? I have 3 cats that I can't be separated from. If you view my post history, in a sub called r/homeschoolrecovery I made a post saying that I have ONLY 3 options. Killing myself, becoming homeless, and finding someone off the internet that can save me.

I pre applied for an adult education program and it's supposed to start in March. I have to do something in the meantime to keep me from committing suicide. I need to go back on antidepressants but I've been on every single one under the sun, and all they do is make me either completely numb or borderline anorexic.

At this point I feel as if no one will help me, no one cares enough to help, and I can't help myself because of huge mental health struggles. All I've been doing is trying to apply for jobs with no avail, having a SHIT sleeping schedule, staying in my room and laying in my bed all day because if I come out of there and make any kind of fucking noise, I risk getting my abusive father up and I want to avoid him at all costs. We recently had a huge argument that he started. Now I hide.

So what in gods name do I do? Do I go and sleep in my car for a while? Die? Risk being r-ped or S.A.'d by someone I met off the internet? What??? I'm broken and confused.

See let me clarify first, I am M15. I don’t know what to say. And maybe that’s the saddest part of all.

Today, I walked into a class for something—just a simple meeting, nothing grand, nothing extraordinary. But behind my back, they whispered, they laughed, they branded me with a label I never asked for. “Gay,” they called me. And I tell you, it wasn’t the word itself that stung. It was the way they said it—the mockery, the sneers, the sheer pleasure they took in tearing me down. You’d think a heart like mine would be made of stone by now, but it isn’t. No, sir. It’s still as breakable as a windowpane in a hailstorm. And today, it shattered again. Now, don’t get me wrong. I know what they’ll say—“Be mature, ignore them, rise above it.” And by all means, I would, if I could. But let me tell you something about the back of a man’s heart. It’s where the truth lives, and my truth is this—I am insecure as hell. I am short. But I think—no, I hope—I look good too. And yet, when words like these are thrown at me, I start questioning everything. If they’re right, then what am I? A short, strange-looking outcast with no real friends, no respect, no chance at love? A walking target for betrayal? I know I shouldn’t be so damned pessimistic, but you have to understand—when you’ve spent enough nights talking yourself out of the dark, you start to wonder if there’s any light left at all.

I do it all myself. Every time I fall, I pull myself up. There’s no hand to reach for me, no arms to wrap around me and say, “It’s okay, you’re not alone.” No reassurance, no comfort, just me and my own reflection in the mirror, trying to convince myself that I’m enough. And I swear, some days, it’s the hardest battle I ever fight.

This world is not fair to me. But I know—I know—I’m not the only one. There are others, just like me, stumbling through the same storm, looking for shelter in a world that would rather throw stones. And I keep thinking, the answer to all this misery—it has to be love, doesn’t it? Love is the most powerful thing a man can give, and yet, we hoard it like gold and spend our time throwing dirt instead. Why? Why do people choose to hate when love is right there, waiting to be given?

I don’t have the power to change them. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not ever. But damn it, it hurts to be overlooked. To be unseen, unheard. I tell myself I don’t need their validation, but the truth? The truth is, every man needs a little kindness, a little encouragement, a little proof that he matters. And yet, they won’t stop for me. They won’t acknowledge me. They won’t admit that maybe, just maybe, I’ve got something good inside of me.

And maybe—just maybe—they’ll finally admit it when I’m gone. But tell me, what’s the use then? What’s the good in being loved when you’re no longer there to feel it? Couldn’t you—just for once—do it now? While I’m still here, dying for a little kindness?

For context I may have Real Event OCD.

I’m 18, and my girlfriend is 19. We met online and they’re friends with a 16 year old online. At the time they were 18 and the 16 year old touched them on the shoulder leading them to say “I’ve been touched”

At the time I think they thought the friend was 15 but I can’t remember, I talked to them about it and they agreed to not make jokes like that anymore but I’m so worried that people would hate them, because I love this women so fucking much it’s actually crazy.

Can anyone reassure me? Am I just being crazy?

I’m 19 and don’t yet have enough money to buy a car, so I’ve been getting rides from my mom and brother everyday.

I’m fairly confident that I can save up enough within a few months to buy a beater off Marketplace to hold me over. The thing is my family seems to be getting tired of driving me to work even though I give them good money for it.

They’ve been trying to convince me to finance a vehicle through a dealership but I’m on the fence about the idea owing thousands of dollars for a car with an increasing APR.

I’m not quite sure how to explain this to them and I’m afraid they’ll just stop giving me rides all together and I’ll be back at square one.

Is the smart move for me to just finance?

Hi everyone,

I'm just really sad right now. I posted on r/relationships but I usually find their advice to veer towards "just break up with the person" instead of working together to solve a problem.

Essentially, my boyfriend, when I asked him to work on being a better listener and emotional support, said that he's not good at it, he's not professionally trained at it, and he's really sensitive to helping people because it can trigger his depression and anxiety. I guess he's just really inexperienced in that arena. He said he grew up being kind of arrogant and only grew out of it a year or two ago, so supporting others isn't really in his wheelhouse.

I just felt a death toll in my head when he said that, I have been happy to be emotional support for him. I self-regulate pretty well if I can just talk things out, is it normal for men to not want to be emotional support for their girlfriends?

I just went through a major health/mental health thing a couple months ago, and he was asking me yesterday if I thought such a thing would ever happen again. I did so much work to work on my self-care and fix the core of my problems, I was sick in response to abuse from my parents, and I had other issues that compounded my stress and affected my health. I feel like the major effort I put in to make myself better and literally cut my parents out of my life so it doesn't happen again, was just.... unacknowledged? I can't guarantee that I will not struggle under something of the same caliber in the future. It really probably never will be that bad again, I really did make major changes. I completed steps to prevent it from reoccurring, but I can't help but feel like the underlying message is "if this is normal for you, [he] should reconsider being with me". I dunno, it kind of scares me. What if pregnancy hits me hard? God forbid I get cancer or an autoimmune disease out of the blue.

I don't need him to be an expert at 'helping' me, I just really enjoy relationships where partners both emotionally support each other. It's invigorating to see each other's perspectives. I find a lot of fulfillment in emotional intimacy. I spent the day grieving an impending potential breakup. If being emotional support for me is too much, honestly, it's not a bad idea to part ways. It's just sad to me because this is the first healthy relationship I've had in a long time. I'm not sure what he envisions to be his ideal relationship, but, things aren't adding up and it's making me really sad.

I'm not without a plan, though. I'm going to talk to him about how, if emotional support is something that he doesn't want to work on improving, it's something I really need in a relationship, so I won't hold it against him if we need to end the relationship over that. My PTSD has been under control for the last few years, but I do get some infrequent flare ups sometimes. I'm willing to give the relationship a shot if he says he'll try, he'll work on it. I hope I'm not being unreasonable to him or myself.

Anyone have any feedback?

I know it’s an odd question, but I have met many kind and interesting older people. I have a lot of childhood trauma that I am trying to work through in therapy but I don’t think I will ever be able to self parent myself out of wishing I had parents.

Hello parents,

Having a bit of anxiety tonight.

I was recently offered a FT retail job, but I'm unable to take it due to conflicting commitments — commitments that are more closely aligned with my desired career / learning path.

However, I would like to maintain positive relationships with my interviewer and the team that supported my hiring.

What is the best response that I can give when declining a job offer, so that I do not burn any bridges? Could I re-negotiate the offer somehow? How should I respond to the offer in a way that shows eagerness, passion for the job, and (simultaneously) clarity about my commitment to my career path (which has nothing to do with retail)?

I would love to keep future opportunities open and maintain positive relationships in my workplace.

Thank you.