As each day passes I desire to heal and focus on myself more. And I feel like blocking him will help. We don't talk. But at this point I'm pretty pissed with the way he left to realize now, I don't want to try again.

He sent me a text projecting a lot of truama onto me then ended it with "accept it and move on" then unadded me on everything so I can't message him (all his socials are private).

But I feel like part of the reason I can't move on is because I don't have him blocked. Keeping that possible connection open is only holding me back. We don't talk, but I don't think waiting around for a message that's likely never coming is healthy.

Idk how to tell my bf that I want him to completley stop being friends a girl I don't like and who I feel hasn't respected out relationship at all. Nothing personal but I just think given the situations we have been put in, I find it weird that she hasn't tried to step back herself. Because personally I would never be put in situations that she has been and never even tried to make myself a factor in someone elses relationship. My thing is with my bf and I just think he should be the one to respect me and give me my place in the relationship rather than fight for his friendship with her. At the end of the day he's the one that should want to be loyal and respective to me, she doesn't owe anything bc shes not my friend, and I just don't understand how he doesnt see that. He has told her in the past times that I did not want her to go to his house for a party and stuff and when ive asked how she has taken it, he always responds with "she was disappointed but she was okay with it." & when id ask if shes ever gotten mad he would just say "shes not that kind of person" and comparing it to the kind of person I am, who would have gotten mad in his eyes. But the thing is that I have been that friend too, with him in fact, when he had a gf 4 years ago, he cut me off and said it was to respect her and I understood and wished him well. We did not talk until after they broke up, even after his ex would watch my stories on instagram and even tried adding me multipe times on different socials, I never enterainted it nor involve him because I geniunley did not talk to him. So I just don't get how she wont do the same, it feels like she enjoys being involved in our fights and I'm just tired of it and Don't think it's fair that he spends so much time with her. They have a designated day they hang out and he's just now meeting her family even though they have been friends for 8 years, which he did not see anything weird about that bc it was her nieces party and he took his niece but she didnt invite other friends to the party. I just feel like there is more going on btw them and he swears up and down that there isn't but if thats the case, why cant he let her go?

First off, I'm sorry for the length, I cut so much out, but still it's a long story... I am a ' 44-F' and my ex is a '30-M' , this entire thing is my own fault for dating someone so much younger than I am..I was divorced and alone for 5 years and wasn't even looking for a partner, but I moved in with him after 6 months and it was pretty great at first. Then about a year in, my daughter got sick, and I ended up having to go and stay with her for about a month...during that time he said he met a '20-M' and a '19-F' that he's been hanging out with, and pretty soon I started getting a bad feeling about them .I started noticing his messages didn't sound like himself, like someone else was telling him what to say, or had his phone ..which later I found out was true...things just felt wrong,. One day he wouldn't answer my calls, he said he was sick and would I leave him alone..which was unheard of, usually if he was sick he never acted like that, but ok..then a few hours later I got a picture msg of a chic giving a guy head...and in caption it said " how does this look" right away I knew it was him, you know a woman knows. So he called me and said he meant to send that to his guy friend, he found it online...and I said we will talk about it later, I know it's you... So I kept getting messages from him that whole night trying to assure me that it was not him...so I planned to go home the next day and leave him...so I'm getting ready to go and I get a call, and it's this girl, I ask who she is, she said she was the girl in the picture. And that my bf raped her! So at that moment all kinds of things are going thru my head, especially the picture I received the day before ..how was that rape? So I immediately called him and told him what she was saying and that he needed to go ahead and tell me the entire truth... So although I hated him at that moment and I had Intended to leave him, I felt like he was being fausly accused and even tho I was mad at him for cheating, did that mean he deserves to go to jail .so he was begging me to come home and help him, and I was so overwhelmed I ended up going home. The girl got a rape kit, reported it and all that bs, but because I went in and showed them the picture that had been taken the whole thing was dropped.... So that was a couple years ago. Long story short...he acted like he was traumatized from being fausly accused of rape and begged me to stay and help him get thru the situation..we spend a year in couples therapy, where he started opening up and being more honest about things with me... I learned that in the beginning of our relationship, when he acted so in love with me, he was not..he said he was disappointed when he met me, but yet manipulated me into eventually moving in with him, for what reason, I have no clue except I make about 10 times as much money as he does... Anyway, I ended up catching him cheating on me again, after all the therapy , and everything,he hadn't changed... So my feelings started changing and I decided the therapy was pointless and I had to find a way out of this relationship.So one night he smoked some weed to help his back pain, because he'd had surgery..and we had a veryyy deep and honest conversation..and he admitted to me that that girl HAD told him several times to stop, but she didn't get up so he kept going..he admitted to me that he had asked her to pose for the picture in order to send it to me because he felt abandoned by me because I'd been taking care of my daughter for a month, and wanted me to come home.... I have been gone from him for 5 months now, but it still weighs on me. I also found out that when he came to my daughter's house for thanksgiving and used her laptop, he went into her Google photos, and copied her and her bfs private pictures. Is he a sexual predator, idk what to do.

Hi, this is really new for me idk,, but basically my ex broke up with me 5 months ago in early June, and it really had an impact on me emotionally and mentally, for me he was the one and only love I could see for myself and I gave my everything to him and I thought we were going get married or be each other's futures based on talks we had with each other.

So hear comes my need for help,I'm already decided to take a year away from dating to heal and just breathe, so basically this is month 5 of us being split and for the most part I have grieved and let go of us having a future together and can see myself dating again in the future, however I feel this break up and lost has really affected my heart and the way I love I feel scared and overwhelmed and just completely numb at the thought about being in another relationship and being so vulnerable just for it to backfire in my face, I'm scared of feeling like I lose myself again or I'll give to much of myself again just to be hurt and betrayed again 💔, like idk I went through a previous break up that i was easily was able to recover from because we knew were incompatible and I had time to grieve while in a relationship, but this relationship was different I saw us having are own place and getting married and being together till we we're old yk. I'm just don't know what to do because I feel this massive shift has occured in me about love and it hasn't changed, while I'm enjoying my single life and just being with myself again vibing and doing me without my anxious attachment going crazy about what's happening with my partner or what they are feeling etc, I am still a true love type girl and I want that romance and to be treated like a princess by a guy and just to overall just be warm and together yk makinh eachother laugh etc. But to be honest it just feels like I feel nothing like I'm incapable of loving like once did again and I'll be alone and forever just wantinh and yearning for something even though my heart feels cloudy and dark and missing yk, I just really don't know I feel so weird and just like a piece of coal tbh 😔, i just feel like if I get into another relationship again I'll either not be open enough about myself and my feelings or I'll complete not care at all and be closed off idk just wanted to vent or something

I guess my real question and just real need I need to ask is has anyone else felt this or currently going through this, how are you coping or healing? because currently I just feel like I don't care anymore and I failed idk such weird feeling of wanting something new but not really cause idk?

My ex and I broke up 2 months ago (we dated for a year and both early 30s) She switched up on me HARD. She always told me I was the best man she’s ever been with and could never be with another man again because I raised her bar so high. We got into a lot of fights because honestly she had deep insecurity issues and no matter what I did I could never make her feel like I cared (which is wild because she always bragged about me and said how great I was so it just felt so confusing to always have her upset at me when I thought I was doing everything I could). She also had a drinking problem she denied wasn’t a big deal that I was always trying to help her with. But she made me feel so good about myself and treated me like a king when things were good.

Anyways, after we broke up I begged her to give us another chance and after a few tries she blocked me. It’s the craziest switch up in my life. My therapist and friends keep pointing out all the negative things and how I deserve more but I cannot stop ruminating and obsessing and it’s driving me insane. Every morning I wake up with intense pain and thinking of her. I thought I’d be better 2 months in but it almost feels exactly the same as the first day. I honestly want to just not wake up sometimes because I can’t stop obsessing and feeling so sad and thinking of her with another man it just feels unbearable.

How do I get over this?? I try to go out, see friends, do my hobbies, workout, but she’s always on my mind and it doesn’t seem to be getting better.

Like when Is this going to stop Bro,she disrespected and disregarded me many times in our 3 years relationship and even more in the last three months,but i can't fucking switch my love off,i Just feel so bad,i Wish I could just hold her one last time,and knowing there Is no going back is killing me honestly,She was and Is a flawed person,and so am I,but I didn't care,actually It was her flaws I loved the most,why couldn't it be the same the other way around?

I have been seeing /dating a Brazilian man for four years. He comes here USA for a month, then he leaves. It is long distance. I am 53 (F) 43 (M). I have tried breaking up many times and I cannot . I tried to block him for a week . I go back to talking . In my heart I love him. He said he loves me If I try to block him for awhile, I get so heartbroken, because I feel like he won’t care or reach back out. I also feel he fell out of love with me. And it’s more one sided now I’m in love and he’s not . Anything you can say? It was the most amazing love I’ve ever had in my life . Sometimes I feel very low that I cannot break up. It is so confusing . He asked me to marry him, then went back to Brazil and said he’s single or “i am the lone wolf”. -heartbroken

My fiancée and I were together for 5 years and randomly they brought up going to the military. I spoke with them about my wants and needs in the relationship and I stated I cannot be a military spouse. They came back next day with papers from the recruitment place. Stating “you made your mind up, I made mine. “ Now we are broken up but still live together till they go to the boot camp. I thought there would have been atleast a little fight for the break up but they were fine. Am I crazy for wanting to feel begged for? Am I crazy for being so upset that they chose the military and were okay losing me? After all we have been through? May I add they cheated on me 2 years into the relationship and I forgave them. Now they talk to random people online and I think they moved on. Why do I crave someone that doesn’t crave me.

I see their name everywhere, as they were named after a stone.

It's in the games I like to play, the shows I like to watch, it feels like a constant reminder of them. It's been six months, and I've definitely moved on in a lot of ways, but it feels like I'm being reminded of them constantly.

Any advice for how to not be bothered by this?

I’ve [33F] been in the process of breaking up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years [35M]. Toward the end, he was cruel and cold and made it obvious he didn’t want to continue the relationship but didn’t break up with me, so being the in love optimist that I am allowed all the hurt to fall on me and kept pushing to try and turn it around.

I learned that you can’t make someone fall back in love with you with any amount of trying. In this process, I’ve said some really awful things that I regret to try and express the pain and humiliation I’ve felt, and for that I am so sad. He knew he didn’t love me and I felt like I was so cheated by that, and I knew if he cared he would have made the tweaks to behavior I told him I needed to make this work (not going out drinking until 3AM, having any sort of patience with me, telling the truth and having open communication), but I really let myself continue to be delusional.

He is so angry and never wants to speak to me again. I don’t know why I can’t feel that way. Like I literally am still in love with this man after all of this (I know, I know, self respect). How do you make yourself just…not care? Not want them? I can’t just keep feeling like I’m dying day after day. Any advice (other than the self respect thing, I got it, seriously) would be helpful, thank you.

We were in different countries and couldn’t come up with a satisfactory solution to close the gap meaningfully and for long.

Truth is she started expressing the distance draining her 2 months ago (it was true for sure, I saw it) and her overworked job didn’t help.

Now we break up but I think even if distance was solved she wouldn’t stay. So it seems to me she just lost the feelings towards me for whatever reason.

Am I allowed to ask something like: “was it really the circumstances or did you just lose your feeling?”

Just running off and into something else so quick ok I'm so lost in this. Thanks for the f***ery

I was together with this guy for about a year and he broke up with me two months ago but for the past month we've been reconnecting and talking about trying to get back together. One of the problems in the relationship was trust as he would lie to me at times but one thing that broke a lot of trust was he masturbated to porn and hid it from me for about a week until he eventually told me. I know different couples have different stances on how they feel about porn. He had told me he didn't think it was right in a relationship and so I trusted him that he didn't look at it. I was devastated when he told me about what he did especially because I send him a lot of pictures and videos of myself so I didn't see why there was a need to look for other things. He told me he felt awful about it and that he hasn't looked at anything like that since then. He's been spending the past few days with me and we've been really romantic with each other and intimate and still talking about how we love each other and would like to try again. I woke up before him one morning and I couldn't help it but to look at his phone. I found explicit pictures of women online in his deleted camera roll, a long list of models on facebook that he's recently been looking at, and a receipt from a porn site that he paid $10 for on a video. The video he bought was of the very same porn creator that he looked at two months ago that he told me about. I was once again devastated because I thought he truly regreted it and since he wanted to get back with me I thought he was trying to stop. The fact that he lied about not doing it since then also hurt tremendously. We've been intimate for the past month and we still send each other explicit pictures so again I didn't understand why he was seeking these things out and hiding it. I don't know how to bring it up to him. I know he will feel upset that I looked at his phone but I feel like I need to bring this up to him. How should I do it? today is his last day visiting before he goes home tomorrow and a part of me wants to not say anything to not ruin the good time we've been having but at the same time it's eating me alive to think about it.

Me and my gf were in a relationship for 3 years. It was perfect for most part. Both our families were aware and in support of the relationship. It was a dream… until it wasn’t. She started working this new job and got so busy that she started cutting me out gradually. Barely called or texted which lead to fights. Despite having communicated with her, she never took the time to address it. Eventually she gave up saying “I’m not there anymore” and broke up through a 20 minute conversation. Me, my family and even her family were devastated. None of us could comprehend what had happened. Worst part, she has no regrets, no remorse or sense of loss. Shes happy and hasn’t looked back once. ONCE. I met her cause her parents invited me and she was colder than ice. Not even a HI. She had nothing to do with me. We spent such good times, planned a marriage, had so many travel plans. All meant nothing to her. Now I’m just living in shock of what happened. I couldn’t do anything. And I’m just lost.

I know what everyone is going to say. That I shouldn’t end my life over one relationship. Or that there are other fishes in the sea. Or that it takes a lot of time for someone to move on sometimes. Several years even.

But every single day feels like day one of the breakup to me. No linear or non linear improvements.

I’m not even sitting on my ass waiting for my ex to return. Because frankly, as much as I’m able to admit to myself that it’s be nice, I’m in no condition whatsoever for a relationship. Be it with my ex or with a rebound. And not because of the breakup, but because I’m simply not mentally stable enough even before the relationship began. I’m aware of it then, but more aware now.

I’ve tried making new friends, working out, trying new hobbies, new cooking recipes, taking up new courses, surrounding myself with family. Therapy, youtube videos and tips to handle myself. Journaling. New video games, new sports. Heck, even a new dating partner. And I do keep it up in hopes that all I have to do is trust the process.

I wanted to be fully healed before my next relationship, but I thought maybe I could complete the remaining healing journey with someone new. But don’t worry, I broke it off really early with them because it’s not fair to that person. And they also were really understanding and appreciated my honesty. Everything seems to be going well but it just… isn’t.

I know everyone goes through this one way or another. Some even worse. Cheating partner, abusive partner, neglectful, manipulative, you name it. My relationship was not perfect, but it was a pretty normal one to deal with.

I even got closure from my ex. After 2 years of strict no contact. No social media stalking whatsoever. We had a very healthy chat, laughed things off, shared stupid things. I got lucky. Many people had a bad breakup with no closure. But I got what people would kill for.

So why am I still… hopeless? I had the discipline to do everything right post breakup. Gym, no contact, therapy. I just miss my ex so much. What the fuck is wrong with me. I just want to end my life. I don’t know who else to talk to anymore.

The past month has been rough. I gave up. I stopped grooming myself completely. No showers for weeks, stopped working too. I just can’t stop worrying about my ex and if they’re happy. Be it with someone else or alone. I’m preparing to take my life soon. I know it’s stupid. Okay? I’m aware. But I’m so tired.

My ex boyfriend broke up with me a little over a month ago. He was my first love and a lot of my firsts. I was also his first love. This breakup has left me absolutely crushed and I feel so hopeless and discarded. Can anyone speak on finding love after losing their first love? Was it better? Were you able to move on from your first love?

He is participating in this no nut November thing

The worst part is that while i was writing him when inwas devastated he was commenting and posting with strangers on Reddit. Also acting like he would like the sexual interactions with them... But when i say what i feel for him it's "inappropriate"

I don't know how to deal with it. He was having those conversations while acting he is my friend and cares how I feel. I need some advice on what you think of it 😓

I'm just even more hurt after knowing that. He didn't even tried to stop me when i said I wouldn't text him for the month 😭

Why couldn't we have stayed together? I was literally accepting everything about him. Wanted to there for him no matter what... Just everything. I gave everything and now I'm just a useless shell of what I was

My friend mentioned my ex last night in passing, and it caught me off guard. It has been 3 month since she left. I hadn't been thinking of her much lately, but since he mentioned her last night, I felt asleep thinking of her, and when remembering what we had at one point I even felt love for her. And I woke up thinking of her.

Idk if I will be able stop thinking of her. But I thought I would share. Thank you.

Why doesn’t he miss me? We dated for 5 1/2 years and were best friends, too. I tried to be the best partner I could be, and so did he. I spoke with him on the phone the other day for the first time in months and I told him I missed him and he said “I miss things.” I think he misses parts of our relationship but it sounds like he doesn’t miss it overall and that hurts. We were both very emotional on the phone and I know he loved me but I guess that wasn’t enough to want to stay. He broke up with me because he wanted to be alone and it all still hurts so much. I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life and it just seems like he doesn’t miss me. It’s like, I don’t even want to get over it. All I want is to be with him. I still feel so uninterested in anyone else romantically or sexually. We didn’t rule out being together in the future, but I know I can’t wait around for something that may never happen. It all just makes me sad

Found out I was being cheated on and the girl and confronted him about it. All he kept reaping was it was complicated and it got out of hand and he truly sorry but I didn’t see remorse or felt it was a genuine apology..He would message her after I’d leave for the week and hang out with her, having unprotected sex with her (and maybe more women since it seems there was a third girl I never met or knew of) I feel numb, don’t want to get out of bed (i found out yesterday) I want some justice so I’ve message requested his mother telling her what happened. I haven’t cried yet and I know it’ll burst out at the worst possible time but I just keep repeating everything in my head..haven’t really slept and I have no one else to talk to about this.

Please help me Reddit friends. I am having thoughts of just giving up.

I think my bf cheated on me, but I still can't hate him. He came into my life when I needed someone, and I instantly fell for him. I slept peacefully for the first time after one and a half years only because he came into my life, its cause he made me feel so loved that it gave me peace.

I didn't get closure, I didn't get a confirmation if his actions were cheating, he left me saying I don't trust him and this is not working for him. I feel terrible knowing all the promises of a lifetime together were fake, we weren't soulmates, he didn't love me more and he didn't value our relationship otherwise he would have protected it.

He made me realize someone who gets to be with me is the lucky one, someone who gets me wins in life. He made me realize I deserve to be loved, not lusted over, loved unconditionally and for forever. Even though he couldn't, atleast I would never settle for less in my life. I will look at actions above words from now on. I would still love passionately, play no games and whoever is meant to be, will stay.

I love you but I love myself more.

to start, my mom found out about my sh scars and she didnt even comfort me but yelled at me. then she went through my phone to see my gf opened up on dms. she got really mad as shes homophobic and made me block and break up with her. she hasnt even talked to me since yesterday after she found out. i dont even care about the scars anymore. i just miss my pretty girl. we were long distance, im in ny and she was in texas. we broke up once in september 19th and got back together, felt more like a break for 24 hrs and then we got back, loving eachother more after that. i always had suicidal thoughts and suffered from binge ed without anyone really knowing. my mental health was always extremely bad since age 10. i just want her back. im scared since she also had bad mental health issues and attempted once or twice, planning again on november 5th. bro, im genuinely struggling.

About two weeks ago, my girlfriend (we’re both mid/late teens) of 14 months broke up with me. We had an argument the night before but that didn’t cause it. The reason she gave me was because she needed some time to herself. She does have a lot on between personal life, trying to find a job and college and I completely understand why she would need time to herself (before anyone says this might be an excuse, her mother and a close mutual have confirmed this). The only other reason which our mutual disclosed was that she was worried about our futures may not be the same. Before our conversations, I had never really thought much about my future other than what job I’d do. We had a couple of conversations about it while we were together, but we didn’t really say the same things. Since these talks, I have considered what she said and I would actually like to do most of it. I thought about this while we were together, not just after we broke up. I went to her house two days after we broke up to collect clothes and we talked about our break up more. I made it clear that I don’t think the future would be a problem anymore. I also asked straight up (because I don’t want to hang onto hope if there is none) if we might get back together, to which she said she doesn’t know. She later told the mutual, about us getting back with me, “I don’t know but I might”.

I was happy with all of this and I was doing well until Halloween. She had a party and invited me and a couple of friends from our shared friend group. One of our friends got very drunk and confessed that he had a crush on my ex, which now has me very worried. She said she wouldn’t get with him but I don’t know if she was just saying that to make me feel better. I got a bit upset at the party because I saw her hugging this friend, which I was half expecting because she is a very huggy sort of person (she hugged me as soon as I walked through the door), but it did hit me and make me a bit upset, just seeing it. I ended up staying the night, we didn’t get much sleep but we all more or less ended up piling up on the floor and falling asleep. I woke up first and I was cold, so I grabbed a duvet and a pillow to try and make myself a bit more comfy. At this point, my ex woke up, not properly, she didn’t speak or anything, but she was awake enough to move around a bit. I was lying next to her and I put my one of my arms around her (just because I wanted to feel like I was cuddling her again) and she cuddled into me in the same way that she did when we’d spend night’s together. This made me so happy and I was able to look at this beautiful girl while she was holding me, but I still don’t know if it meant anything and if I’m reading to much into it. All this party really gave me was a lot of mixed messages and left me feeling even more confused and nervous.

I have also tried to work on myself since the break up. I had very bad OCD while we were together, this wasn’t a problem to her, but she was worried about it for me. I have now practically got rid of it and it now has little to no impact on me. I have also considered that I may have been a bit intense in our relationship and seemed a bit needy at points, for example, she would ask if I wanted to call and play games with her and our mutual friends, but I would only want to call and play games with her (in fairness this was my first relationship and I didn’t really know what to do/what to expect) but I have since considered this and I would want our relationship to be a less intense. All I want is her to come back to me. I know it’s early days but I genuinely don’t think I would find anyone better and I don’t think I could want or love anyone else in the same way. She is the most amazing girl and I just want to tell her I love her, I want to look after her and I want to be with her.

So, the point of my post, I want to know other people’s opinions/advice and I want to know what you think of a couple of questions I have.

• Why does she say she doesn’t know if she would get back with me? Is this just because she hasn’t considered it?
• Should I worry about the friend who has a crush on her?
• How should I go about trying to get back with her and how long should I wait?

I realise that these are questions no one but her could really answer but I want to know what others think of the situation. This relationship genuinely felt like one of those perfect ones from movies. I just want her back. I have thought about how I could maybe try to start the relationship again: she loves The Hobbit and LOTR and I was thinking, in a few months or more, should I ask if I can go over and watch those with her? Or should I do something else?

Thought and opinions please, thank you for reading, I’m sorry for such a long post.

hi everyone this is my first post on this sub and im gonna try and keep it as short as possible. i have recently gone through a very difficult breakup with this guy i was with for 5 years. we just couldn't work it out anymore and there's no going back now but he was there for me during the most difficult time of my life aka finals for the past 3 years. his advice, the way he calmed me down, even just talking to him after a day of studying helped ease my anxiety so much. and now that he isn't there in my life anymore it's so hard to concentrate on my studies and i really don't want to spiral cos this exam is really important. please give me advice on what im supposed to do now. i really can't text him anymore cos he's a completely changed person now and it's gonna hurt me even more when he won't even talk to me the same. i feel like im going insane i really can't take it.

So while my ex girlfriend was pregnant we broke up and in that time she got an abortion because she didn’t see me as a long term partner because I damaged her car one night while we were fighting but I paid her back money for the car. I know it was wrong damaging her car I take full responsibility for that. It’s been now nearly 50 days plus and we’re still broken up. Yesterday I posted off a package with letters how I’m feeling and I want her back. Do ye think there is a way back or is it done forever ?

Rebounds! Let’s band together!

When did you find out you were a rebound?

How did this person treat you?

How’d they make you feel?

Did they talk a lot about their ex?

Would you go back to them?

i still want it to be you. i know that you don’t want me, but i don’t want anyone else but you. it’s been weeks and you still occupy my mind and even my dreams. i’m blocked yet i still text you knowing you’ll never receive and read it. i still find ways to check up on you, i know it isn’t healthy and wrong but i want to know how you’re doing even if it hurts me. can you please come back

About 1 month ago, my boyfriend broke up with me due to his depression. Right up until the breakup, it was a genuinely wonderful relationship that was loving and supportive. About 1 week prior to the relationship ending though, I noticed he had been feeling a bit down. During that week, he started it off by saying how much he loved me but by the end of the week, he said his depression had come back, he didn't want to be in a relationship (ever again too), and that our relationship was completely over. He totally blindsided me... He never gave me a chance to talk to him about what was going on or how I could support him, he was just so immediately DONE with the relationship with no chance of us ever getting back together. There was nothing I could say to try and save the relationship, his mind was completely made up. The breakup left me completely shattered.

He wants to stay friends though and said he doesn't want to lose me as a friend (he got very upset about losing me as a friend). I've been trying my best to be supportive during the past month but it's been incredibly hard on me being just friends. After A LOT of talk, he said he needed a bit of a break to gather his thoughts so we haven't spoken in about a week and bit. During this time I've been finding myself increasingly not wanting to stay friends with him, especially as there is no hope that this relationship will ever work out again. He's completely done with it whereas I am still trying to get over my feelings, and I still have that lingering bit of hope in me of it one day working out again (my brain knows it's over but my stupid heart hasn't caught up yet). I just feel so incredibly sad and whilst I want to support him, I'm finding that it's just been a bit too hard for me at times. (I just want to add, he is a great guy, he really is, but he did put me through the emotional ringer with this breakup.) I'm more and more leaning towards telling him that I want to end the friendship and go no contact for the time being.

May I ask, has anyone been in a similar situation? And what did you do? Did you end the friendship? I want to be supportive but I feel so bruised right now. I really want to have space to deal with my feelings and just truly accept that it's totally over with no hope for a romantic relationship again.

Last week I (23F) found out that my boyfriend (26M) of three years has been cheating whenever he returned home for the holidays.

For context, we were long distance for two years and moved in together this last summer. He was everything I wanted in a partner, driven, smart, loving, my friends and family loved him. We agreed on politics, religion, cheating (LOL). He was truly my best friend. We were blissfully in love. There were zero red flags (I know, you won’t believe me, but it’s true). My friends would “if you and [man] breakup, I will stop believing in love,” that’s what our relationship was like.

I got a DM from the other woman (classic right?) and it turned into a phone call where she told me everything. I confronted him and promptly asked him to leave, I packed a few suitcases and drove across many states back to my hometown. It came to light (from the other woman, not him) that essentially every time he went home for a holiday or whatever reason, they hooked up. He later said it was very transactional and not emotional whatsoever. She said the same thing. He is filled with remorse, feels that he is a sick and evil person. My therapist thinks his family dynamic, attachment style, need for control (and lack of it in our relationship cuz I wore the mf’n pants) all contributed to this. He blamed it on his drinking and also turning into another person when it happened, not even realizing what was going on. He said the guilt was eating him alive.

But it happened again…and again and again. I guess I’m just confused still. I can’t make sense of any of it. Today, my mom and I are moving my things out of the apartment (he isn’t there). I can’t help but feel like I won’t ever be that happy again. I know I can’t go back to him, but I do believe he is broken. But how can he blindside me? My world has been completely flipped upside down, and I still can’t believe this is happening. And now I’m mad at him not just for the years of lies but the trauma he has caused me that I now will spend years probably trying to heal from. I need insight, advice, anything.

We spent most weekends together, going on some adventure, or just doing nothing. Spending time with you was all I ever wanted, and spending time with me was all you ever wanted, and I still don’t understand what changed so quickly.

Now I’m 30 years old, and all my friends have families. They have most of their weekends already planned, and I have to sit alone with my thoughts, nothing to distract myself with. Weekends are always the hardest.