basically me and my ex go to the same uni tho we don't share any classes, her bsf is in the same classes as me and we had lots of mutual friends so i'll have to see her like everyday.. another thing is that all our mutuals were better friends with her than with me so they're also sorta avoiding me ig? idk it feels like hell. i saw her today and i had never had this bad of a pain in my chest. how do i deal with it?

Ex bf (used the avoidant tag to break my heart and never turn back!) wanted, and got, no contact. What pisses me off the most is that he also never once apologized for the hell he put me through. Just out there living his best late-30’s figuring it out life. He seeks tons of external validation about and because he gets it, in my head he is dOINg SO gREAt . He probably isn’t.

He still has so much power in my brain and takes up so much real estate. I know this is a really silly thing to think about constantly but why wouldn’t he just Unfollow me? I follow him and I watch his stories. I don’t really know what I’m looking for and all of my friends say I should block him or unfollow him. Dumpers, why would you keep your exes on mute but follow them? Dumpees-why am I watching his stories still 😅

And I know he’s still single, and also struggling to date but that’s not a shock. I’m having no issues finding people but UGH it’s brutal and exhausting. So far the women and men I have dated kinda distract me from my own growth and I had to pump the brakes and focus on myself. Anyway! Why the fuck does he follow me if I’m muted. I will say he has occasionally watched while at his parents house (I know that’s when because I’ve seen what he posts as well). What do all these games it mean or does it mean anything because it is just a game?

Im so fucking pissed, I’m sad, I’m ashamed but most importantly I just feel like a shell of what I once was. I’m sad because I feel like I’ve lost someone I loved, someone I wanted by my side every single day. I feel so fucking hurt and alone, I wish that things were different. I wish you didn’t play these games with me at the start and make me feel like you didn’t give a shit about me. All I wanted was love, and all I wanted to give you was everything I had. I wish I had more left in me. I wish I could just let everything go and start over with you. But I could never.

All I feel is resentment from your betrayal and disrespect. I don’t think you ever gave a shit about me. You’ve taught me so much. You’ve taught me that I’m capable of a deep and unconditional love. But, you’ve also taught me to respect myself. The constant uncertainty of whether or not you care for me and want me, or something is going on behind my back was the most draining thing I have ever experienced in my life. I don’t hate you is what I used to say. Now I don’t know. Looking back through old photos all I see is a time you iced me out, a time you threatened to break up with me, a time you ignored me, a time you betrayed me.. all the smiles are fucking fake.

Yet still the empathetic, understanding part of me I’ve always had for you tells me that it’s deeper than that and not malicious. I hate the fact that I’m here now, fucking miserable, not knowing what to do with myself. No energy to enjoy my time. The night just dragging on. I wish I could just wake up and this all be over.

The only reason I’m glad I met you is now I know what I don’t deserve. I knew better than to let things continue, so I know I cannot blame you for everything. I wish you didn’t hurt me the way that you did. I wish you would have just let me love you the way I wanted to from the start. The deceit, manipulation, the victimization you gave yourself. I’m over it, I wish I could say I want the best for you but I don’t really care anymore.

Stuff came out, I hate my ex with a burning passion.

We originally broke up in July of 2023, when it first happened I was able to get over her relatively normal. I would say by late/mid September I was more or less my self and by December I wasn’t really thinking about her at all. Just that random thought once in a blue moon. In April of 2024 she reached out to me and wanted to see me again and she more or less was saying that she wanted to get back together. We texted for a bit after this but it didn’t lead to anything(mainly on my end). I do not have her on any socials nor do I have her number anymore and I graduated from uni in may of 2024 so I haven’t seen her in a while. Ever since that meet in April I haven’t really been able to stop thinking about her at all. I have made progress before but I’ll have a dream with/about her and that leads to me stalking her repost etc and a continuous loop of her on my mind. She originally broke up with me and kinda made it clear she didn’t want me so I think that may of helped me get over her, now I’m dealing with a what if situation. I browsed this subreddit and couldn’t really find a similar situation so if you have advice on how to stop thinking about her or relate I’d love to hear your perspectives.

I (22F) broke up with my boyfriend (21M) last week and all of a sudden he’s making YouTube videos with other girls. We were together for 7 months and I broke up with him because of some inappropriate videos of “his homeboy and his gf” in his phone. All the details are in one of my previous posts. The next day I broke up with him, he posted to his Instagram that he’s single and that his comeback is gonna be great lmao. I removed and unfollowed him off everything because I know he’s trying to make me feel a certain way EVEN THOUGH I BROKE IT OFF. He’s a YouTuber. While we were together, his videos were respectful and didn’t involve other girls. All of a sudden, he dropped a yt video called “2 girls at one time” lmao. In the video, there’s two girls who are strippers according to my research. They are having a photoshoot and he’s just there flirting and hugging them, looking really stupid honestly. Then he posted a story saying that he needs a girl for a viral YouTube video. How do I not let this bother me? It’s just crazy because only a week after we break up and this is what he pulls? I’m just glad I see his true colors. I haven’t said anything to him about it and don’t plan to. However, how can I stop letting it bother me?

Our "breakup" isn't conventional in the sense that he's coming back. When? I don't know. He needed some time to himself so he could focus on work, his health, and nothing else. I was fully on board with it, but never understood why he needed to do it alone.

Nevertheless, I did my best to understand it. I was happy knowing that he'd be leaving this fucked-up city where he's alone, and moving to a better place.

He promised that he'll come back once he's better, but that he needed to be no-contact so my thoughts don't haunt him. I did my best to understand this too.

But I can't stop feeling like I have been abandoned.

I have not been able to get up from my bed since he left. Waking up feels like a chore. Eating feels like a chore. Even breathing does.

I try my best to push through but I don't know how to go about this either.

I will end up crying during random moments in the day. I cry myself to sleep every night.

I still text him, even though he has blocked me.

Last night was extremely difficult. I saw him in my dream and for those few short moments, I thought I was sleeping next to him, and it felt like pure bliss. When I woke up and realised that this wasn't real, I kept sobbing in my pillow until I passed out from the crying.

Honestly, with each passing day, I am beginning to think that he won't come back. But I'm holding on to that hope because I believe in him.

How long will this grief last? What do I do to make it hurt less? I am so out of it. I have no idea what to do anymore.

I'm a 27M from India, and my life has been full of struggles since childhood. I lost my parents when I was 8 years old and was raised by my grandmother until my 10th class. After she passed away too, I somehow managed to survive, finish my studies, and get a job. But throughout my life, I never truly experienced love.

While working, I met a girl (25F). In the beginning, she was the one who approached me. We spent a lot of time together, and I shared everything about my life with her. She understood my struggles, and after a year of being together, I gave her everything I had emotionally. But then, she slowly started distancing herself from me. She told me I wasn't suitable for her and that I should find someone else. When she saw how much I loved her, she said her family wouldn’t accept it and told me to forget her.

She left without any closure. I tried reaching out, but she doesn’t respond. Now, I’m living with just her memories, trying every day to move on but failing. I feel like I lost the only person I ever truly loved. This was my first love, and it has left me broken.

I know this isn’t the right way to feel, but every day, I struggle with thoughts of not wanting to live. The loneliness is unbearable, and I miss my parents more than ever. Will I ever experience real love? How do I move on from this pain?

I’d really appreciate any advice from people who have been through something similar.

We split up after a decade and lately she said she's so sorry and im the best thing to ever happen to her and that she loves me and wants to work on things. I'd love to and when we're together in person things are great! But once we're apart I don't get any texts and I feel alone and depressed this is a super sad and depressing part of my life and i just need someone to talk to about this PLEASE

Its been 3 months since he broke up with me and im happier and more at peace now. (5 year relationship) But I can’t stop thinking about him and checking his socials. Is this normal? I don’t want to confuse this feeling with wanting him back but I would be lying if i didnt say I wish it would’ve worked.

I need a place to vent. She broke up with me and I feel awful. We dated for ~5 months.

It was due to a lot of different things. We're in grad school, she needed to know that the relationship would last after. I wasn't sure where we would end up but I was feeling it out, and I was starting to see her in my future. I never said it and never made plans for us after, but I felt we could maybe get there if things kept going well. We could make compromises and have it work out after.

I made a stupid joke. In hindsight it was stupid, honestly minor enough that the relationship could survive, but this was kinda the straw that broke the camel's back. Now I feel bad for hurting her feelings, I apologized after and even cried, but she said that this comment sent her over the edge, had hurt her feelings and security, and she didn't see the point in working through it if the relationship didn't have a future anyway.

I just feel so misunderstood. I was moving slowly, for sure, but I think these life decisions take time and we could figure it out in the course of the year. I was never able to communicate this well and I think it got taken as me not caring / just looking for something temporary. I tried to tell her this when the breakup went down but I'm afraid it came across as fake just to try to save the relationship, when the truth was I didn't see it as temporary, I just needed more time. I guess our timelines were off and we weren't compatible. I just feel bad I hurt her with my comment and potentially made her feel used or wasted her time. That wasn't my intention at all, but I worry that she feels that.

i feel so anxious abt not having her i feel it ik my body and it dose not go away

I been feeling a bit better these days. The break up still shows its scars from time to time but I feel as if I’m healing. Unfortunately I still share a house with her but I’m trying to change that within the next couple years. Anyway just took a big step. I deleted all photos of her tonight. Having mixed feelings about it. It’s hard to let go, but I realize it’s for the better. Plan at this point is to increase my value to myself and others. Hoping I can make some great strides. Sad thing is sometimes I miss her, then I remember we don’t mesh. It won’t work. I’m glad I took this step, truly!

Had a long post wrote up when somehow I fat fingered “select all” and then kept typing, replacing everything I had previously wrote.

My(34,M) fiancé(29,F) left me. Engaged for 3 months, in a committed relationship and lived together for the past 6 years, known each other for 10.

Ultimately she left cause she wasn’t happy. She told me she felt like she couldn’t be herself with me. She wanted her independence. She brought it up all at once and wouldn’t consider counseling with me.

I feel ruined. She was my best friend. I’ll never find another like her.

When i find myself takeing a step forward and moveing past everything i start to overthink and i take two steps back. I remembered how you did me and it angers me so much. It makes me wish your pillows were allways warm, it makes me wish because you allways wear your socks inside out because of the discomfort it gives you so it makes me wish you werent able to fix it and there allways uncomfy and then i get angry at myself forever being mad at you then it repeats itself and i remmber why. The anger it gives me. The distain and i think to myself why am i even stressing about this. Shes moved on. She loves another. So why do i feel this way.

does anyone here worry about what their family thinks when getting back with an ex? My dad has never had a problem with my ex, but my mom, brother, and sister apparently all dislike him. We broke up and I moved out a few months ago, but never really stopped talking. He wants me to “forgive and forget” and move back in. Obviously I’m worried about whether or not he’s able to be the man he says he is now. My biggest worry though is that my family will judge me and not like my choices. I’m 25, so it’s not like I have it all figured out. I’m very conflicted about what to do. Any advice or words of wisdom would be cool.

Its been more than 5 years since I broke up from my past relationship and moved on. I have no contact with ex ever since. My ex and I were in the same school and when I look at some of our common schoolmates social media posts it kinda haunts me. It was me who broke the relationship as my ex showed no sign responsibility and was throwing excuses to find job or learn a new skill. This was the case from day one but I kept waiting for them to change which never happened. I once thought they were my forever but eventually I lost trust in their words and actions which led to the break up. Now I am married and I am happy in my current life. But when I think about my past I am guilty that I had another person in my life. And what kind of role model I would be to my kids. What would they think of me if they get to know about this. I feel ashamed and can't muster up courage to talk to anyone who went to same school and studied there around the same time as us. Has someone experienced this feeling how do you deal with this emotion?

Remembering all of the hurtful words he slung my way from the get-go of our relationship.
He broke up with me back in September, which feels as though it was literally just yesterday. (I thought time heals all wounds?) Speaking of time, it feels as though time just sort of stopped, and then drifted off somewhere after he broke up with me. These days, it's the same day over and over and over. I don't sleep, I don't eat right, I have no set healthy routine, I isolate. My depression has gotten really bad and I'm in a hole again for the first time since right before getting sober in 2021. My anxiety is crippling. My insomnia doesn't even matter because sometimes I will get a real good night's sleep but wake up feeling shittier than I would if I got half an hour of sleep.

Anyway, the mean shit.
He texted me and I told him I could facetime him at a certain point of that evening. The facetime time came and went but I got preoccupied and at 9:20 he said he was going to bed. I realized the time and called him right away, kicking myself.
He yelled at me and told me that all of my texts annoy the shit out of him, that I'm awkward and anxious and that's all I'll ever be in his eyes.
Of course, I wondered why the fuck I keep contact with this man. He has verbally abused me since I met him for the most part.

The cherry on top, and the biggest punch in the heart was when he kicked my daughter and I out of his house in the cold, rainy night. He didn't hesitate to tell me that I had made him hate me. He told me that I've gotten so much worse since he met me, that I'm like a shut-in. He said I'm worthless, I'm not worth working on our relationship with.

He started the relationship out by telling me that from how it sounds, I have never been loved, not even by family. He promised me to show me what love is, and never to abandon me.

When it gets to this point of night, there's some kind of spark in me that needs to write about this.

I have no idea how to process what has happened. I lost my partner, my financial stability (unemployed because I'm disabled,) my home, had to move to a different town, and topping it all off, my car broke down on the interstate a few weeks later.

When life gives you lemons, right?

He entered my life, showing a beautiful future together, we met at the same work place he is an ortho surgeon and i am an ortho physio, we soon got used to our work culture attending OT’s together, treating patients together, both of us i think fell for our intelligence and soon started hanging out with eachother. Soon enough he told me he has a girlfriend ( which i honestly really think is a rebound because he still used to cry about his ex ). We soon started going for lunch every single day and he would text me im coming to save you like your knight in a shining armour and all that, he started calling me minimum 5-6 times a day, we started hanging out whole day together. Soon my degree was over and he got me a job at his work place as well. Both of us even have similar interests in biking, we used to go for bike rides and everything. One day suddenly he comes up to me and tells me his girlfriend has an issue with it, which is completely understandable. But here he is being completely different with me. He wouldn’t let me go and stay stuck. I really honestly thought she was a rebound and he loves me. Soon enough he told me, he does not have any physical attraction towards his girlfriend and has it for me, and he was the first guy i ever made out with in my entire life. It was so good! Suddenly one day, he comes and tells me he is opening his clinic and is getting engaged. And she has an issue with me and does not want me to go to ‘their’ clinic and work. It did break my heart and i cried it out. A lot. Finally, soon enough he realized he could not get anyone else better than me, he came back and asked me to joun which i asked time for. I attended his engagement with a smile on my face, but i have stopped eating ever since. I have lost 8 kgs in the past 1 month because of all this drama and i have stopped eating, i get up with a heavy chest and cry the whole day. My eyes hurt a lot. Deep down i know i don’t deserve a manipulator like him, but i really really love him. I saw him getting engaged to someone in front of my own eyes, and which getting engaged too, his eyes were on me. The worse part of all, the girl is already a divorcee and im not sure, but a friend told me she already has a kid. I am not sure tho. She is one year older than him and and a divorcee. He himself has told me, she is very dominant and controlling and keeps an eye on where he is, what is he doing, how much he spends especially cause she is a financial analyst. I hate her. A lot. Is it possible that she is blackmailing him to stay with her? She is shorter and below average looking. Where i know i am way better than her. He himself has told me. He also told me, she isn’t dominant where she has to be. Does this man really love her? With knowing her just for like 8-9 months? Where there is no physical attention, only controlling from her side and eveeything? What do i do? Do i go and work with him back or keep a distance? I really really really love him and want him in my life. I love him a whole lot :( I swear to god i thought this wouldn’t last because everytime he met me, he would tell me how he wanted to get over his ex girlfriend, how she left him and started dating his own junior, how he came to this city to make it big and show her good etc. also, when he is with me and his friends he is a different person. When he is with her, he is a totally different person. And whatever whoever tells, he goes and tells it to her like an idiot. Once i spoke shit about her, he went and told it to her. And i spoke to her on her engagement day saying you are starting a new chapter of your life, if you do not like it please tell me i will walk away. She told me, if you keep it as a friend zone and professional i have no issue. I so badly wanted to ask her what does she mean by unprofessional, but she didnt want to talk much. A scene that happened in the past- many of his childhood friends told him that she is a gold digger, because she is from a lower income family and she will ruin him. He stopped talking to them. He stopped talking to his childhood friends for her. I saw all this and one day cried and screamed at him, saying i will never forgive her she ruined this beautiful bond of us, your own friends are talking about her and saying she is a fucking gold digger and she will leave you. And you still are going behind her have you lost your insight or what. He went and told her everything. So on her engagement day she removed this and told me, ‘its not your place to tell him all this’ And that broke me down. Does he even know what place he gave me in his life? I am stuck in this mess. I really feel he has lost his insight, and either she has done some black magic or whatever on him to keep him with her.

PLEASE PLEASE HELP. will he regret? Will he come back? Will he regret for using me? Does he even love me? I really love him and i want to stop crying for him 😭 we were together for a year and all this started happening in the last few months

Obviously based on the title, I broke no contact. We broke up on Wednesday when I woke up earlier than my alarm and saw he was sleeping on my couch. I got this random feeling to check his phone and saw he was texting another girl (probably the 5th time I caught him, so who knows how many times he has done it). We broke up that day and I cried so so much in class. I ended up going home and spending time with my support system. My dad and I had dinner together on Thursday (the day I could go home) and he actually told me how much he prayed for us to never get back together (i have a really close relationship with both parents). However, I was so so sad and didnt know how to cope so I thought of any excuse to text him that Saturday. We have been talking ever since, not as frequently as we did, but it has really helped me stop crying and just be okay. He was talking about how he planned on coming up for valentines day and a different day. I did make plans already so that wouldnt work, but Im fearful that me talking to him like this will just bring me right back to being with him, which it had every single other time. EVERY. SINGLE. OTHER. TIME. Probably since I was 18 and I am 22 now. He is my first love and was my best friend.

I guess I am searching for advice on how you guys were able to keep no contact. Or did you talk to your ex? Are there actual successful ex to friends stories, or am I trying to do that too early? Again, we ended things on Wednesday where I literally kicked him out my apartment. Now it is Monday and we have texted since Saturday evening. Does the whole exes to friends actually work or is this just a fantasy I am in to stay in denial?

I(M23) have been dating this girl(F23) for almost three years. A couple of weeks ago we had a fight that turned into us bringing up other problems each other had in the relationship. We decided to do a month break. Over the past couple weeks i have decided that i do not want to continue the relationship and I’m not sure she will want to break up. I feel terrible because i believe that she does truly love me, but i just don’t think we will live the rest of our lives in a positive relationship. I feel like we could make things work, but i do not want to just make things work forever. As of right now we are still on a break but i am going to talk to her this week. I feel terrible but my gut is telling it will never be what we want it to be.

My boyfriend and I broke up at the very start of october 2024. I found only two months ago that he was emotionally cheating on me september 2024. It was weird during September. He said he was constantly busy and acted distant but there were also times where he texted me the sweetest things and told me he loves me and made an effort to call me. He broke up with me after I confronted him about why he was following three accounts of a girl that he met off of a game. Suddenly it was like a light switch flipped. He said he couldn’t tell me anything because he doesn’t think I care, that I never ask him how he is, how things changed after I moved in august. He claimed that I abused him for two years, that I was at fault for everything that went wrong, that I don’t have my life figured out, etc. I know what I did wrong and I’ve heard his feelings and done better for him months ago so it confused e to hear things being brought up when I have been doing better. I didn’t abuse him for 2 years. He talked to me so cruelly. I already had a bad feeling so I asked if there was another girl and he said there isn’t. Even after telling me he needed to fix himself and that I can wait for him. He was still talking to the girl and I had no idea. At the end of november after breadcrumbing me for a month, he ghosted me and blocked me. During the whole of october when I was trying to fix the relationship, he was giving me mixed signals. One moment he wanted to fix things, the other he was pissed off at me and telling me he was just upset when he said he missed me. I was going through a hard time already and that’s not even including how he made me feel. I just don’t understand how someone can do something like that. I loved him and stayed through so much. He truly made me think I was crazy for everything he did to me like sexual assault, the manipulation, rewriting the past. I couldn’t tell what was real while I was with him. It’s been 4 months and they are still together while I’m going to have trauma that will never truly go away. I still struggle to understand. I know it will not benefit to find answers so I haven’t looked at any of his social media or activities since. I only found out about the cheating because a friend of mine saw something on the game they play together. This was a man who said “I would never do something like that. i’ve seen what cheating does to people” and here we are. There are days where I’ve been feeling better and happy but every time I have space and time, my mind drifts back to what happened. I know it isn’t healthy to keep running from my emotions so I’ve just been trying to fit with the feeling. It’s hard to understand how someone can do something so cruel to someone they love and continue to blame them. I really wish I understood why he could do that to me when I was with him when he had no job and no one. It took so long after the relationship for the fog in my head to clear and now I can see the relationship for what it was but I’m just so confused. He did the cruelest things while texting me the sweetest things. I read back at our messages and if I didn’t know what experienced, the texts made him seem like he was a good person. Has anyone been through something similar and have advice on how to get better? I still have nightmares reliving what happened in october and I still tear up often.

My ex left me on the 10th of January. I think he was deeply depressed and couldn’t get himself out of it. Truthfully I was very depressed as well. But I realized that my reasons for being depressed weren’t because I had issues. It’s because I had fully handed myself over to him and discarded any independence I had. I tried so hard to keep a job, I cried so hard the day I lost my job at scooters while he was at work because I just felt like such a failure to the relationship. But he turned my alarms off that morning when he woke up and said he thought I was already up. Which confused me as to why my alarm would have been going off and the house was dark if I was up, but I didn’t argue with it. so I woke up late and I was supposed to open the store so I got fired for being late. I tried not to blame him for it, I did my best to hold back the resentment. I didn’t talk about it with him. I just let it go. I knew deep down after that he would eventually leave again. I was desperate for a job that I couldn’t lose and had control over so he wouldn’t leave again that I went to uber. In the end, Uber is one of the reasons he gave for leaving. He said that he needed to leave our relationship for his mental health and knowing he’d tried to off himself almost 4 times in the two weeks leading to the break up I took it as “you make me want to off myself” and truthfully I struggled with suicidal thoughts the entire first night he was gone. I wrote out an entire note and didn’t tell anyone after the fact that I almost went through with it because the guilt I felt was so extreme. The only reason I’m still here is because I got scared and my fight or flight kicked in when I couldn’t breathe. The guilt of thinking I was the reason he wanted to off himself had consumed me whole that night. He had issues with being faithful and he admitted he hated being that way. And yet he never changed and it broke the trust in our relationship so much that I didn’t want to be away from him, not even for a shower or to use the bathroom (though obviously we did do those separately). This led to me putting work restrictions on myself and in the work place. I wouldn’t work when he wasn’t working. It cut my options down significantly. I just wanted to be able to trust him and have the ability to work whenever or do whatever I wanted for work back again. Everyone told me to leave but I just didn’t want to give up. Every time I brought up how I was feeling to him or an issue in the relationship, most the time it would turn into him threatening to break up, trying to walk out on me or screaming and breaking things or telling me how horrible I was and how he didn’t want to be with me. Or he would try to off himself and I’d freak out and we’d suddenly just stop talking about whatever it was because I was consoling him. And it always led to us going to “bed”. I just wanted him to love me the way he should have. I wanted to trust him. And the weirdest part is, even though he walked away from me, abandoned me after blindsiding me, I can’t trust anyone anymore, but somehow I still could trust him. And it makes no sense. I have no reason to trust him. he went from proposing the 20th of December to breaking it off the 10th of January. But there’s still a little there. I still love him deeply, and unconditionally and I don’t hate him. I am embarrassed to admit I want him back. He didn’t say this, but his family kinda did, but I guess he had a problem with our animals too.some were fosters we were trying to rehome and others we go because I was so isolated and lonely in the relationship. His family called me a cat hoarder. We had 5 cats ( two fosters) 2 bunnies and 2 guinea pigs. We were planning to rehome all except the guinea pigs and one cat because it was too much. I expressed so many times how I didn’t want all the animals we had. But in the end, it was my fault even though he was the one who drove us to get the animals and even paid for them. Some of them we drove hours for. He rehomed all of our animals except one. Which I kept and then rehomed to my parents because they loved her and she seemed happy with them and I just couldn’t handle having a pet at the time financially or even situation wise. I had 3 miscarriages while we were together and his family said I faked the pregnancies. I didn’t have health insurance at the time, I didn’t have a car that worked, and I didn’t know we even had a pregnancy clinic in town. Again it’s a population of like 5000 and it’s not advertised that it’s there at all and it’s hidden. I just so happened to be told about it by a girl who was pregnant and was in financial hardship, but that was after the 3rd miscarriage. The worst part is, I found out I was pregnant the morning after I tried to hurt myself when he left. I was so shattered that I was pregnant again by someone who had abandoned me. (We were actively trying for months for a baby). I didn’t eat, drink or sleep for almost a week, and I ended up miscarrying because of it. I didn’t even tell him I miscarried. In fact when he blocked me on everything I never tried to reach out to him again. I figured he wouldn’t believe me for one and why does it matter at this point anyways. I told his cousin I thought I was pregnant but who knows what she said to him. He blocked me a couple hours later after I told her. I went to the doctor a few days later and they told me that it was probably a mix between the not eating drinking or sleeping or the extreme stress. Again I didn’t tell anyone about the night he left, but I can’t help but blame myself. Thinking that I killed that baby. I don’t know. Everyone says I am the lucky one who doesn’t have to date him anymore. But I don’t feel lucky at all. I feel like I lost the love of my life. I just want to go home with him and forget everything that happened the past month. He’s blocked me on everything and we live in a small town and when I see his car he immediately turns off the road. I guess he’s been physically stalking me, like my work and house and I’ve noticed him coming by places I’m at (and it’s not a coincidence. It’s places he’s never gone and doesn’t go and has no reason to even be near). I don’t know how I’m supposed to let go. Accept that he doesn’t want me anymore. I don’t even know if he regrets it. I just wish he had given me more of a chance. And that’s a weird feeling because he walked away for things I never would’ve walked away for, but I stayed for so many reasons people would have left and never looked back for. It’s been a month and I still feel so much guilt for my part in everything. I just wish we could go home and forget about the past month but at this point I really don’t think it’s happening. I think I’ll always love him. And I don’t think anyone will ever replace him on the pedestal I put him on. Please give me some advice on how to move on. I’m so lost on what to do at this point.

We loved each other, he just has some issues and is scared of commitment.

It just sucks so ass because I know we could’ve worked but his fucking family messed him up and now he feels like he has to be alone, like he deserves to be alone. His dad is homophobic and basically kicked him out when he came out and his mom is bipolar and switches between smiling and manipulating to screaming and manipulating. Then he spent 5 years in the army internalizing being alone and never opening up to anyone. And maybe I’m just naive and we broke up because he doesn’t like me anymore but I truly don’t believe that and I don’t want to leave him like this. He’s a little broken and I just want to help but he doesn’t want it and so now I’m left staring at the broken prieces of my heart knowing that I have so much fucking love for him but no way to give it.

Honestly I’m debating just waiting a little and trying to be his friend (which yeah yeah maybe it isn’t great for me) but I don’t want to let him go back to being alone. Am I crazy?

I can't help it. For almost six years now, I've gone back to him whenever things get hard. I feel like he's such a huge part of me, and I can't imagine a life fully without him even if I don't actually want him. I don't want to date him, necessarily. I want the comfort he brings, the familiarity I feel with him and I don't know how to change it. I feel like I'm trapped in this loop of always going back to him and I can't move on.

So almost two weeks ago I broken up with my first ever boyfriend of almost two years, it was a pretty sad situation and the reason I broke up with him came out of nowhere but he did something that really hurt me so i decided to put myself first and "break up". The thing is, I didn´t concretely break up with him and told him we can maybe try it again in a few months because he told me he would change and then went no contact, which I now regret because all day every day I just think about him, what he is doing, if he´s going to regret his actions and change so we can get back together, if he´s going to reach out or if he´s already talking to someone new, if he´s getting with other people, etc. These thoughts consume me enterily and i just recently started university again, my major is a really demanding one but i can´t focuse on anything except him and I´ve started hating myself because I´m constantly sad because of him and stressed because I can´t focuse on school and i can´t afford to get behind. I´m so tired, i just want to be alright and be able to focus on myself and school but he haunts every single one of my thoughts from morning to night and I can´t deal with all this anxiety and stress, I´m so tired and don´t know what to do, please if you have any tips it would really help.

I hate that I’m here but I feel like a broken record talking to family and friends and I had a few more days before I speak to my therapist so here we go.

I was in what I thought was a very happy stable relationship that I was in for over a year. We recommitted to each other, he told me how much he loved me and wanted a future together and I was in such blissful happiness. I thought this was finally it. Five days later while I’m preparing my home for my mom’s visit, he showed up at my door. I had just been on the phone with him discussing a romantic European vacation in a few months so I was shocked. In the course of just 30 mins, he ended our relationship. Very little explanation and no room for a break or reevaluation of anything. It was over for him and I was absolutely blindsided. I had always thought he was a bit immature but I was willing to overlook this and grow with him. I never thought he would ever hurt me this way. But he did.

I had never felt so worthless in my entire life. I was absolutely heartbroken, furious, and full of grief for the future I thought we had with each other. I couldn’t understand how he suddenly didn’t want me in his life when he said he wanted to get married one day. In hindsight I know he was probably lying but I think that hurts more thinking about that possibility. He practically ran out the door and I’m ashamed to say that in the heat of the moment I followed him and yelled that he was a coward for doing this to me. When I was alone I finally fell apart completely.

I have an amazing support system with my family and all my friends plus my two cats who make my house a home. I’ve planned to go to Tokyo solo in place of the romantic European trip so that I can enjoy the time I scheduled off. I’m healing slowly.

But I’m still struggling. I have my highs and lows and I’m unsure how long this will take me to heal from. I really loved him and I am struggling to come to terms with how he could hurt me so incredibly deeply. I’m asking for advise on how I can move forward from this. If there is anything someone has gone through that was similar and how they moved on through the grief. Honestly any advise is appreciated, I’m just struggling to find my way back to full happiness at the moment.

TIA❤️

Jumping into a relationship with someone who just got out of one can be risky—not just for them, but for you too. When a person hasn’t had time to heal, reflect, and grow from their past relationship, they often bring unresolved emotions, trauma, and baggage into the next one. This can lead to emotional unavailability, comparison, or even using the new relationship as a way to avoid facing their own pain.

Healing is a personal journey that no one else can complete for you. It requires sitting with your emotions, working through your trauma, and truly understanding yourself outside of a relationship. If someone hasn’t done this inner work, they risk repeating the same unhealthy patterns and unintentionally hurting their next partner.

Before entering a new relationship, take time to reflect: ✨ Have I fully processed my past heartbreak? ✨ Am I emotionally available to love and be loved? ✨ Do I know who I am outside of a relationship? ✨ Am I seeking love, or just a distraction from my own pain?

A healthy relationship starts with two whole individuals, not two people trying to fill a void. True love isn’t about escaping loneliness—it’s about choosing to share your healed and authentic self with someone else. Don’t rush the process. Heal first, love second. ❤️

#HealingBeforeLove #EmotionalMaturity #SelfGrowth #KnowYourWorth