I broke up with my ex a couple months back and regretted it. Asked for her back about three months after the breakup and she said no..

We are still friends now but I can’t help myself from checking on her instagram and snap.. did she follow someone.. was it a guy.. etc etc. I don’t want to block her because like I said we are still friends and I just think blocking is too much. What are some tips I can use to stop myself from looking everyday

So my now ex (40F) broke up with me out of the blue two days ago. I thought everything was fine. Turned out, for the majority of our brief relationship (3 months official, two months casually dating), she never truly loved me. She cited several reasons, but one was because our relationship was a distraction from her self-improvement. She's been to therapy for a while following a string of abusive relationships.

She also mentioned that she just didn't feel a connection. I had no idea. Nothing she said or did indicated that to me.

Another reason she left me was because of my epilepsy. I had a seizure in front of her after being seizure-free for 12 years. The reason I had that seizure was from over-drinking the night before, sleeping in, and taking my meds late.

She has a very different lifestyle. She enjoys going out to bars and can drink a lot. I rarely drank until I met her. I also did other things that were completely out of character for me, like grow a beard (because she liked it) and try 'shrooms. Her heavy drinking and smoking bothered me sometimes, like when she cancelled plans twice because she was hung over.

When I had my seizure, she said she needed some distance from me to process the trauma of witnessing it, leaving me alone to deal with the physical and mental pain. Her therapist said this was the right thing to do, but I felt devastated.

The therapist (according to my ex) told her that a seizure "WILL happen again." First of all, no, as long as I take my meds and don't drink like an idiot (learned that lesson), the chances are unlikely. Second, she's not a neurologist and isn't qualified to make such statements. So I think that just helped put a bug in my ex's ear and scare her more.

Looking back, I see this relationship was bad for me, but I can't get over my feelings. She wants to be friends, but I told her I need time alone and will be going no-contact until I'm ready.

She says she's scared to be a single woman in a city with few friends, and we were quite close, so she wants to maintain that closeness as good friends. I brought her comfort and confidence, and was the first (literally the first) man she dated who wasn't an alcoholic who abused her.

Basically, I make her feel safe and she wants that reassurance without the attraction. Honestly, I find that insulting.

To put it short, she's wrong for me. She neglected me when I needed her most. and now she wants to just move on and be friends. I told her I can't do that now, so I decided to go full no-contact. That made her scared and sad, but I told her I fully intend to reach out when I'm ready. It could be days, weeks, or even months, and she knows that.

But despite the fact that I've pretty much outlined the main reasons she was wrong for me, I still miss her like crazy, because also had many things in common that created chemistry. It's only been a day and I'm tempted to reach out.

Why do I feel this way? Logically, I shouldn't want to be around this person. How can I avoid breaking NC so I can actually heal?

tl;dr: I was suddenly dumped by an ex who was wrong for me. She wants to be friends, but I told her I needed to go NC for a while to heal. Tempted to reach out after just a day.

Going through a breakup of someone who was really good to me for a long time,person met me at my darkest and helped me feel better and discover myself ,things got complicated and worse. The person was my support system and mentor figure too,also best friend ,could talk to them about everything,very knowledgeable

Has anyone gone through something like this? I wish it was just. Romantic and friendship connection but it's way. Way more

We lasted for almost two years.

I feel so lost and confused. We're both tired and can't do it anymore, I'm sad but I'm also relieved I don't know. We both knew it was coming because we can't find time for each other. It's funny because we're only like an hour away with traffic.

It's both affecting our lives. For the past few weeks, we could only see each other if we called off work or skip classes. We really tried our best and we both agreed we deserve someone else, even though we still love each other. We grew so far apart, we both felt alone. We see each other more on a facetime screen than in real life.

Really can't sacrifice our future selves.

I'm so sad right now, need some advice. :(

we broke up due to distance (we once were not long distance). (we’ve broken up in a near identical way before) he was ignoring me for longer stretches of time, and didn’t always act interested in me. i asked him if he still liked and wanted me because i honestly couldn’t tell and was sure he didn’t. he said “yes of course i still like you” and “long distance relationships are never easy”. this was 2 weeks after we spent 5 days together. he was loving and so sweet each and everyday. one week after hanging out, he was still sweet and kind. but then, things changed. just a day after saying “i still like you”, i decided to gauge how he really feels about doing long distance, and wanted to let him know it wasn’t easy for me either. i said “i don’t like long distance relationships anymore” and he said “same they’re just so hard” i then said “i either want to be with you, or not talk to you”. he said “well it is what it is”. i asked him to tell me what exactly it is that he wants i was being a bit pushy because i was so upset and couldn’t think straight, and told him to answer. he said he didn’t know. “figure it out bru” was my response. i now understand that it was not the most mature way to respond. i said “i mean take your time of course but it is ultimately up to you”after calming down and taking hold of my emotions. i wanted to let him know he didn’t have to respond right away. i realized how impatient i was being. its been a day, and he hasn’t responded and i don’t think he ever will. i feel stupid for making this so needlessly messy.

F21, I had been exclusive with a guy since February and he was completely and wholly enamored with me until suddenly he started to pull away, I felt that shift in energy and decided to ask him to talk. I knew going into the conversation that our relationship was going to end, and I had accepted that, and I would say that I lost my feelings for him as well over the course of the days he had been pulling away and then finally when we talked because I knew what was happening wasn’t best for me. He told me that his feelings shifted really for no particular reason but because his OCD causes a switch to flip in him and suddenly he lost feelings. He said when he starts to lose feelings he can’t get them back and it’s all just a part of the way his mind works. Like once he starts to spiral he cannot stop and suddenly things he once thought were cute become not that anymore to him. I understand this to an extent, but I honestly thought he was going to become my person. We were so happy. While as of right now, I’m not as completely enamored with him as I once was, a small part of me hopes that someday we will come back together. What do you think the odds of this happening are after the summer apart? What about based on what he has said about the OCD?

Just getting it off my chest. I’m f21, we (him m28) were together for 2 years.

Broke up last October. Because I wasn’t ready to commit to him the way he was, and our life goals didn’t match (wanting to live in different countries).

Idk if it’s my own life that’s miserable or actually him.

But now that I did some growing up (a bit), and saw the world and life without him in it, I want him back.

I wasn’t very respectful to him, I took him a bit for granted at times, and the relationship wasn’t perfect. BUT he treated me so well, we were very functional, we gave each other meaning.

The thought of being with one person and having this one life for the rest of my life was scary last year, but now, it feels like it could be he. Him and I could make a home. Either of us holds a grudge against the other. We actually broke up out of respect, love and support for the other, so we could both chase our dreams.

I wish he would go to my mum and ask her for my hand. Ask her for permission to propose to me behind my back, tell her if I ever hurt him he promises he would bring me back to her. And then pursue me again. Yes, I am Asian, we are both Asian. So, family is important. I believe he still loves me.

Him and I could grow, and discover the world together.

Btw he was more than ready to commit to me, I am the one who doesn’t know who she is and felt the need to discover the world first. So, I moved across the GLOBE for one year at a different university lol, and we broke up because longterm I don’t wanna stay in our country. But now I see that we could try to figure it out.

I miss my wife. But she distant and cold towards me we broke up and she went on slept with someone else... we also tried rekindle our relationship but she went and did it again. Just ongoing circle and told me to wait and be patients with her... why is she being so toxic?

We broke up this week. It was a 6 month relationship, and it was an amazing time. We both were dating kinda aimlessly, then we met each other, and we fell so quickly. Her friends were my friends and vice-versa. It felt like our lives slotted together so seamlessly, and we both agreed it was the best relationship we've ever been in.

In the past few weeks, she was getting a bit distant, and it was hard on me. This week, we finally talked and she told me what's going on. Between a million and one stressors in her life (I'd rather not share the details, but suffice to say it is a lot going on) and previous trauma that's re-surfacing, she realized she can't commit to any relationship. It hurts to hear someone you love say they're not doing well and to see it in their eyes.

She told me it's the hardest decision of her life: because she's still in love, because I didn't do anything, because I'm her best friend, because she needs to fix so much going on in her life. Her last act of love was to make sure I knew I wasn't in the wrong, that it wasn't because of me — even if it's hard to believe sometimes. She made me promise to take care of myself, and we're on good terms, and I still talk to her friends. I told her I'll need space for a while before I can be friends. I'm trying not to hold on any hope, even though my friends have unanimously said it's the most amicable breakup they've known.

I'm glad I had this healthy, great relationship with someone who made me so happy, and I know it can happen again. But I mourn that it had to happen to me, and I wish I'd known sooner. Right now, I'm struggling with resentment. I don't want to be in the mindset of "I need to win the breakup," because again, it was amicable, and it ended before I got strung along.

I'm trying to do what I can: focusing on my hobbies, trying my best to keep up with my work, and making time with friends. I'm really touched that in all this, my friends have extended so much love and grace to me. But I just want to be over the heartbreak, it's so hard to get anything done.

Any advice on this would be really welcome.

That's all. He(16M) broke up with me(15F) 2 months ago. I don't live with my mom anymore, I live with my dad, and 3 months ago my mom said she would visit my current city. Me and her scheduled to have a dinner with my ex, because he was still my boyfriend. Remember this makes me sad for two reasons:

1. I miss my ex. I believed strongly we wouldn't be just highschool sweethearts. The breakup was out of nowhere for me because he was still acting normally and saying "i love you" at least 4 times a day.

2. My relationship with my mom was awful since always, but i normally reached out to her to talk about my boyfriend, and me and her kinda of were forgiving ourselves for all the arguments we had when i used to live with her.

Since me and him started dating, i daydreamed about him meeting my mom and my younger sisters. Guess it is never going to happen haha

My ex would tell me passionately she wanted to marry me and have my children. She said this consistently for years as if it was inevitable.

She told our families and our friends. It was alot but it felt good to have someone make you feel so desired.

She got off her antidepressants and relapsed into her past self. An impulsive and selfish person. It took her only 2 months to completely change what she wanted and we broke up.

Having someone you trust look you in the eyes and tell you these things only to change so rapidly is a mind fuck. I understand what happened because I know her too well. I know her flaws. But FUCK. It's so so so confusing and scary.

I'm legitimately afraid I won't be able to trust a womans emotions again. How can I move forward? Is this just reality? Is there a point where you can actually trust someone. Now I just view love and something people lend me at their convenience. :(

For those who are just now going through the breakup process or are still healing, but feeling hopeless it does get better. My breakup happened in February and I experienced everything that most of you all did. I was hurt, felt depressed, no appetite, couldn’t sleep without thinking about her what seemed like every minute of the day. It didn’t help that my ex wanted to be friends in the event that we had an opportunity to work on things down the road.

I watched a lot of self help and breakup advice videos on YouTube and Instagram. Some helped, but what really hit home for me was the advice one person gave on following steps to get over the breakup. The first part was feeling all the emotions and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It’s okay to cry it out and be angry. Work on your self even if it’s something small like making your bed or going for a walk. Go no contact and avoid looking at their socials if you don’t feel like you’re ready to block them yet.

Lastly, the acceptance stage. This was the hardest part for me, but most crucial. Accepting that the relationship is over no matter if you wanted a different outcome or if you plan on working things out in the future. The relationship is over. Once you have told yourself and accepted that the relationship is done you’ll start to feel more like yourself and what life was like before this person came along. Once you can do this you’ll find a big sigh of relief and thinking about your ex will become less and less, the memories won’t hurt as much and you’ll be okay at the end of the day. You guys got this, I wish you all the best.

I have talked to my ex about the issues around communication we were having and nothing was changing even though i would initiate conversation. So, i left it for about 2 weeks, because it hurt me more and more to look so desperate for attention from a guy who doesnt want it from me.

Today though, i saw that he had completed his move in one of our imessage games which we had abandoned since before the breakup, (probably because he wasnt interested in playing with me anymore) with a second message titled “whoops”. I dont know what this means. I dont know how someone can go onto dms of their ex and play an entire imessage game before they realise what theyeve done. Bare in mind, my profile photo is my face, and im not sure if he plays or texts anyone on imessage apart from me, but wouldnt he had to make an effort to search to find me?

But anyway, Ive played my move because id do anything to talk to him, but i feel like it was a genuine mistake from him and not an effort to chat because he hadnt responded to me at all yet but was active on a group chat i am in, and on snapchat.

I dont know what to do, im so confused to why he would try to get my attention after he has made it clear hes not interested in me. I love him so much and i need him back but hes sending me such absurd signals its driving me insane. i dont understand anything about his behaviour and i just want him to talk to me but he just doesn’t budge. Hes always been like this, not only with me, but everyone. I miss him so deeply and i just want him to talk to me

My approach to managing my break up has been to completey cut contact. 100% no contact. After 3 weeks back at my family home (I have been searching for a rental) I am moving back to the, small, city.

Unfortunately I brought her into my friend groups as she had struggled to make her own. Additionally, after we both broke the lease to our rental she went back to the real-estate to keep the place for herself! Gross.

Anyway I am quite paranoid as I will inevitably hear about her or even see her. Fuck, I might even see her profile on a dating app! That would make me sick. I have been coping alright away but I am very afraid going back to the place where we shared a life for 3 years will be difficult.

We go to different universities and do not have any commitments that will guarantee us meeting.

Any advice on how to handle this while emotions are so raw? It's pretty embarrassing as well.

My ex and I have been broken up for about a month and a half now after 4 years together. It was my first relationship, and this is my first breakup.

During the first few weeks of being broken up, I was so devastated and in denial that I would be physically exhausted enough to sleep. Ever since my ex and I talked for closure, I haven’t been able to get a full 8 hours of sleep. I think maybe it’s because the reality of us not getting back together is really hitting me now, but I just can’t seem to sleep. I have trouble falling asleep, and when I do I wake up in the middle of the night and end up thinking about her and our kitten that we got together. When this happens I get really upset and can’t fall back asleep. The feeling of being alone in the bed is the most isolating thing I’ve ever felt. I’ve never really had friends and I was always super lonely as a kid, but I’ve never felt this alone before.

Whenever I wake up early I always think of how my kitty would come lay in my arms on the bed and start purring. It just kills me that I’ll most likely never be able to have that with him or her again. That it’s not my reality anymore. (I had to move back with my family, and several of my family members are allergic to cats so that’s out of the question). I get so upset that I can’t fall back asleep.

Anyone have any advice? Sleep related or breakup related?

I feel like a lot of dumpees mourn the loss harder and often wish to get back with their ex without thinking of what it would actually be like.

Think about it. Let's say there was no cheating or abuse and they left you for valid reasons. Would you be able to trust them with your heart again? I feel like just the simple fact of someone giving up on me and ending the relationship would give me enough trust issues with them that it wouldn't work. I feel like I would always be on edge thinking they are going to leave me again for any little reason.

Do you think you could actually successfully get back with your ex

We stopped talking back in December, but we still follow each other on Instagram. When we first went into no contact, he used to post a lot on his main story. But recently (the second time we’re going into no contact), he’s been posting himself on his close friends. He usually would save these type of stories on his highlights, but for some reason, he isn’t…I’ve been only hearting them, but I’m not planning on contacting him since he was the one who told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. Is he trying to get my attention?

Me and my ex girlfriend were together for 4 years, we got together on April 9th 2020. The first year of our relationship was rough so we took around a year break and got back together about 2 years ago and during that break she met another guy and he didn’t treat her right so she decided to get back with me. The first year we were back together went pretty well, we were happy and we were making plans for our future together and it all went well with occasional arguments about dumb things like talking with other guys when I specified my boundaries with talking to other guys and having guy friends. We had our own opinions about it and nothing bad has happened with any of these guys so I kinda stopped worrying as much until October came around. During October she fucked one of the guys she told me not to worry about and continued to tell me it didn’t mean anything and it was an accident she didn’t ask for. That hurt me pretty bad because we were both virgins and planned to lose it together and then she just betrayed me and took that opportunity away from us, I forgave her and gave her another chance but got more strict with my boundary about having other guys. The end of October to the end of December were rough but we got through it, Christmas and the new year came around and that’s when we started being happy again and we made plans to live together and it was looking pretty good. The beginning of February came around which was her birthday and she turned 18 and all the plans we made started to feel more real because we were both adults. In the middle of February her attitude changed and she started being really mean with a cheating mentality. She kept telling me how good it felt with the guy she cheated on me with and told me how she wanted other guys and stuff like that and it continued for days but then she stopped and I forgave her again. Our whole relationship was long distance so it was hard but we both lived in Alaska so it was really easy for us to meet, we had multiple opportunities to meet in the past but I always got too shy and scared up until last month. In march we met for the first time and we spend a few hours hanging out and it was great and we were the closest we have ever been and. It started getting rough for both of us because going back to long distance after meeting wasn’t easy and we missed each other a lot so we planned to meet again in the beginning of summer and spend a few days together, I tried to spend as much as time with her as possible because I knew long distance wouldn’t work after meeting and it was going well, we called every night and watched all the Harry Potter movies together and texted 24/7. It went like that for a few weeks and we missed each other but we were still really close up until a week ago when I caught her texting her ex. She told me it was nothing and I tried to see it that way but I couldn’t let it go so I had to make her choose him or me because I couldn’t stay with her while worrying about a repeat of October so I made her choose and she chose me but that made her act differently and she got more distant with me through out the days and she started talking to me and calling me less and less up until 2 days ago when she broke up with me. She told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship and wanted to be “free” to do what she wanted and she also told me that she still loved her ex. She blocked me on most platforms and brought her ex back into her life, she said she wants to be alone to have “freedom” and tells me it has nothing to do with me but I know it’s not just that. She leaving me so she can go do parties and fuck any guy she wants. I still believe she is my soulmate and I hope she comes around and loves me again because I know she’s still there. She was everything I ever wanted and now she’s gone and now I have no future because we planned to have it together. I have no friends and no future, I literally have nothing left so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do or think.

I’m just thinking about my breakup which was about 7 months ago now.

He just does not feel real to me, and neither do the memories.

I’m sat thinking sometimes ‘did this really happen’ , and I can barely think of speciifc memories anymore. It feels like a total blur!

I’ve not seen or spoekn to him in months now and he doesn’t even feel like a real person anymore. Just feels like the whole thing didn’t actually happen and I dreamt it all.

Even when he shows up on Facebook or something he still doesn’t feel real!!

Does anything else feel like this? Or am I crazy lol

(I'm F15 and he is M16) Not only physically close but also the way that he cared about what i used to say and the way i could care about things he used to say. I could trust him and i was certain i was not being a fool. I was sure it was not an onesided feeling. I was so fucking sure we wouldn't be only highschool sweethearts and now I see him sometimes at the hallways acting like i fucking don't exis(though i said to him to never talk to me again cuz i wouldnt be mentlly strong, it still hurts). Hells, we've dated foi 8 months, it is not nothing...

I still don't got over his reasons for breaking up. He said he was feeling overwhelmed with me but he only said it 3 days before breaking up. I had no idea he was not feeling OK, because he was acting so normal, he said he loved me like 1 hour before breaking up. I had no time to show him i could fix myself. I blame myself so much for being so stressed out those days.

After we broke up i reached out to him asking of he was sure of it, and he thought for more 10 days. Then i knew there was no going back. Bro i just. It hurts so much. I actually believed we would date again on each one of these days. BECAUSE I STILL SEE NO REASON FOR THE BREAKUP. Bro why the hell he said that he loved me everyday at least like 4 times a day if he didnt love me actually??!?!? IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. THE SWEET THINGS HE USED TO SAY AND THE BREAKUP MAKES NO SENSE TOGETHER.

I will try to explain this as clearly and concisely as I can. My girlfriend and I split up some years ago. She dumped me for some valid reasons, but she wanted "to remain friends" Now she is retired and on a vacation in Europe. For some reason, that triggered me. I started to realize that I was still in love with her and that being "friends" was not really at all satisfying. Further, whilst she is on vacation she has written me one two line email. I replied to that message and have received nothing back in several days. I am not on social media, but another friend of mine told met that she was posting like mad on Facebook. I thought out friendship was deep, but I appear to be second or third rate acquaintance to her. She is on vacation by herself, so surely she has time to write me more than a single, scant email? I feel very hurt. I know that I need to end this "friendship". I want to do it now, via email. Would that be somehow wrong? I am really suffering and I want this to be over. Thank you for any feedback.

i ended things with him yesterday btw

—

anxious avoidant attachment

it’s cyclical.

what a distressing notion,

to love and fear the same person so much all at once it’s

quiet but painful

i just get so attached

you you you

Consume me

still, i am ready to flee at all times. my bags are packed with

spares of items you’d notice are missing from your drawer,

your bathroom sink,

my finger on the trigger,

but i’ll never pull it, i’ll never pull it because i can’t risk

hurting you

i would never ever do it

but i keep my finger on the trigger

and sometimes

i tease myself by putting some pressure on it and imagining

the s w e e e e e e e t r e l i e f

and then release

i feel your weight on me again

and ,,,

it’s easier this way

I told my boyfriend of 4 years to just end this relationship because he has not communicated with me for 4 days knowing that we are in a long distance relationship.

He is working abroad thanks to the help of my sister for recommending him to her employer. He was supposed to come home this April 27 but sadly his employer said that the date will be moved to April 30, and that his arrival in our country will be on May 1.

We are supposed to watch a concert together on May 1st, I've already bought tickets for us. However, I told him that I still want to watch the concert because this could just be a once in a lifetime opportunity. I told him that I will just have my brother to pick him up from the airport then I will just meet him at home. Then we will just make up with our bonding time together while he's on vacation.

After I told him this he didn't respond to my messages anymore. I still messaged him twice if there is a problem and that I wouldn't know what the problem is if he would not tell me. 4 days passed and he never bothered to message me.

Then I found a conversation with him and his former female colleague, she told him to come home and he teased her that she misses him. I took a screenshot of it and posted it on my FB story for a few minutes. This finally got him talking, he told me that I'm making myself a victim and that the real cheater is actually me, like WTF.

I asked him angrily, he better tell me what the hell was the problem why he didn't talk to me for several days. He told me that he was angry because he was actually expecting that I will be the one to pick him up from the airport and that he felt that I am more excited about the concert than seeing him come home. I told him then he should've told me that rather than ignoring me. I don't want him to wait for a long time in the airport once he arrives here because I know their flight would be long and exhausting. He never bothered to understand my reason for this.

I also told him that him not talking to me hurt me so much, I wondered for several days what did I do wrong. And what if I didn't message him angrily, then he can still go on for the next days still not talking to me.

Then he apologized for what he did to me. He apologized for his pride and anger towards me. I told him the damage has already been done and it's better to just end this relationship. Once he comes home he will gather his stuff and will return to his parents. He should've been sensitive enough to reach out to me in one day after not talking to me but no, he technically ghosted me for 4 days.

My family is still hoping this will be fixed but I told them I can't live being treated like this forever. I have my share of being problematic too but I won't have it escalated like this. Me letting him back into my life again is like letting him win in his manipulation and emotional abuse.

He has no shame, my family treated him as part of the family and even helped him to be able to work abroad but still has the audacity to be this abusive to his partner.

I still need to face him next week, but this will be to finally end things, help with pack his stuff, and send him back to his family.

I am done with emotional immature men who can't communicate with their partners properly.

Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse.

TL;DR I'm breaking up with my boyfriend who works abroad for not talking to me for 4 days because I told him I'm going to a concert and will just have my brother pick him up from the airport when he comes home next week.

My Ex recently got in contact with me and he wants to see me, 25 F and 25 M We were together for 8 years and about 7 months ago he broke up with me I wont go into too much detail but basically he wasn't happy and he wanted more from life and 2 weeks later he was in a car accident and sustained multiple serious injurys, I wont say what they are as I'm not 100% certain. I heard from his family maybe 5 times in the first month but they didnt keep in contact with me and anytime I did reach out I kind of got the impression that they didn't want me to contact them, I never had a good relationship with them. Anyway he contacted me a couple weeks ago and we have been talking but not about anything important but he's getting out next week for a few days and he wants to see me to talk and I dont know what to do a part of me really wants to see him but another part of me can't forget how bad the relationship got in the end and how he treated me and the last thing I want to do is upset him but I get the feeling that he wants to try again and I don't know if that's what I want anymore. Any advice would really help me and Sorry if I didn't explain myself properly I've never done this before.

After trying really hard to save my relationship for like a year and a half, feeling like I was the only one trying and being pushed out the door and not being treated well, I finally left nearly 3 months ago. My ex, although distraught at first, seemed to very quickly be able to shrug and seem much happier than he was, and got a girlfriend within 2 weeks. Even though I was the one to leave I almost felt like the one to get dumped, and have been going through hell feeling like I was actually with a sociopath for 5 years and just feeling so hurt and confused that he could do that so easily.

I still see his son about once a month as I was nearly his step mother as long as he can remember, and we had been hoping to be able to remain friends. At one point he asked if I would be open to meeting his new girlfriend and I joked “um maybe but I might want to kill myself after”. He got all concerned and after a period of not speaking he brought this up, and I was honest that there have been days that suicidal ideation comes up. This led to a nearly 2 hour conversation today in which he revealed actually struggling quite a bit to get over me and still wanting to be with me and feeling like I fucked with his head by bringing him into that and having to worry about me. Eventually the conversation led to the usual pissing match of who actually hurt who. I realized by the end that he still wants to be together and feels like I’m fucking with his head. I can’t deny wanting to see some sense that his love didn’t just disappear out of thin air. But I had no idea he was struggling. I dunno. I just feel so sad and awful and guilty now for dragging him down when he’s already hurting and I myself still want to be with him but nothing has changed to justify it. I just wanted to vent and feel like my friends are sick of hearing it all.

My girlfriend of a year and a half recently just broke up with me and im really conflicted on what to do. We've been in a long distance relationship 2 hours away for about this entire school year and things were going fine 1st semester but 2nd semester my classes got busy and I couldn't even respond to her texts until 2 or 3 hours later after she texted me. And even when I got home I couldn't even respond to her very much. And she's in college and in medical school and I'm in high school and she thought I was just ignoring her. And this is just a me thing I'm just really bad at answering my texts with everyone not just her. It takes me a while because I'm just not really on my phone all that much anymore. And when I got home I would immediately play with my friends because a lot of them are graduating this year and I want to spend time with them and because I feel like I neglected them last year. But me and her would call from 9 to 10 at the end of the day so I thought that made of for it. And it didn't help that one of friends were saying horrible stuff sometimes about her in which I should have stepped in but didn't and I regret it a lot. Sometimes I had hw so I would call her for a little bit then I would get off and do hw and sometimes I would lie to her and say I had something to do and I would play with my friends if they wanted me to get on but that didn't happen frequently. And she called me a week ago and broke up with me for those reasons and also because her mental health wasn't good and she said I was partly the cause of that. And she felt like she wasn't the priority which she was but I did a terrible job at showing that. It got so bad to the point that she started asking if I loved her which I always do and always will. And my love language is quality time like I love being with her in person and i loved spending time with her in person but we couldn't do that often. Like yea I liked calling her but spending time with her in person is what made me feel good. I feel guilty knowing that I could and should have done better and we would have been fine. I miss her more than anything and I truly hope she is happy and okay that's the only thing I care about. Yes I want to get back with her but we both need space and to work on ourselves. But I don't think she wants me back. I regret this so much and I miss her more than anything and I wish she would take me back. But what do yall think?

I dated my dismissive avoidant ex for 13 months and he initiated the break up. When we met up to talk, the first half of the conversation revolved around an issue we had prior and other things (like seeing if our beliefs and values were still aligned). He made it seem like he wanted to work on the relationship and then when we transitioned into the second half of the conversation we were breaking up. He basically told me that he wants to focus on his work and the new job he got and work to retire his parents, that he doesn't want to date me or other people. I find out that he's been on a dating app 3 weeks post our break up and he also recently went on a date as well. (He's also been using the photos I took of him on our 1-year dinner on his profile pics and dating app). Mind you he's also moving in less than a month so I don't understand the discrepancy in his words and actions.

When we were breaking up we agreed that when we tell people we would say we simply grew apart, but he's been telling his friends and our mutuals that he broke up with me and that it should've ended before we reached our 6 month mark. From that 6 month mark to when we actually broke up, he did so much and wrote in his Christmas and 1-year card that his commitment towards me and us wouldn't change. He mentioned a lot of promising things in his card and told me that he even bought a new card for our 1-year because he messed up. I don't understand why/how someone can say such things while together and once broken up say that he lost feelings a long time and that our relationship should've ended earlier.

Hello!

My girlfriend broke up with me one month ago. After the break up she came back to me after 9 days but only as a friend. I accepted because I could not see a life without her and I still cant. I hoped maybe there may be a sparkle that will make her say "ok whatever, lets get back life before". I have done everything that I can as a human and more to make her happy, I lost myself in the process. While being friend she set a lot of boundaries which I respected. However, I could not help myself sometimes and talk to her about why we broke up which she hates and I know it is not a good idea but it hurts terribly to just be a friend while we hanging out all the time and talk. Everytime I talk about it she loses even more interest and is even more colder. Because of that I get even more impatient, I go even more crazy and try to repair things or try to discuss it again just for some reassurance. This is a vicious cycle that makes her completely leave me in a way that I appear as a villain because of how I react to the situation I am in. I would die for her and I love her immensely. I cannot eat and sleep at all. I do not know what to do and it affects my studies in the worst time. I dont want to block her i still wanna be with her but it hurts. When we talk i usually listen to how her day went and say simple answers so i dont fuck up too much but i also try to help her with any problem she has. When i say too many words or talk about how I feel things get cold and i can feel i fucked up. Please someone help me I am feeling like I dont exist as a human anymore and everything i do is wrong.

I started smoking a lot just so i can feel something good. Even as a friends she sometimes behaves like before, we touch our hands we smile at each other so its not completely cold but when i do something wrong it immediately goes back to nothing. I am always scared she will leave me. I was not like this before, I had a personality and I enjoyed food, things, life.

Thanks for reading :).

Like seriously its comical at this point.

Recently, most of my days im feeling great and loving life and enjoying my free time and singledom. But then Ill feel a bit off and I wont know why. It lasts maybe a day or two. Then eventually I realize what was bothering me; typically something innocuous like a simple 5 second interaction with someone. Then, in like 30 seconds to a minute of further cogitating on *why* it bothered me I realize more deeply that it was just a thing related to my ex that I havent processed through yet. Then I laugh at myself for the absurdidty of it having been over for a year and a half now and its still affecting me in weird unexpected ways.

it’s been 3 months and i’m still not over it, how do i fully move on?