Me and my husband have been married for 5 months (together for 8.5 years). I went on a 5 week holiday to visit family and 3 days before returned he called me and said he wasn’t anticipating seeing me and he enjoyed being alone and he wants a divorce. He said it scares him being with the same woman for the rest of his life and that he missed the chasing and conquering girls. during these weeks he has been hanging out a lot with 3 very single guys who often poach about their singleness, threesomes and open relationships.

When I got home after a 30 hour trip (feeling extremely anxious because I don’t know what I am coming back home to). He said that I am like his medicine and he has been sick. He was feeling a lot better when he saw me. He said that our relationship is amazing and there is nothing he is missing. He said he will never be able to find anyone as good as me and with the same connection. He says he now has to chose between the shallowness of just wanting to chase girls (because he says he doesn’t want a relationship and he likes being alone) or to stay in a loving marriage where he is loved.

He also told me that he only slept with 5 people in his life and that he feels he has missed out (he was 28 when we met). He feels he only has a few good years left (he is almost 36) before he turns middle aged.

We went to see a couple therapist. The therapist said that if he feels this way only when I am gone, but when I am back the feeling goes to the background. It most likely has to do with unresolved childhood traumas. He comes from a very unstable childhood and didn’t have good marriage examples in his direct environment or a safe environment where he felt loved.

I feel things kind of turned back to normal, we do talk about this issue a lot. But I just feel so extremely hurt. It feels like I am not good enough or not giving him enough. He says that it is him, he is the patient and that I am amazing. He apologised for saying wanting a divorce but realised he needs to work on this thoughts he has. He keeps saying to me that he is the patient.

I haven’t felt like myself at all the last 3 weeks, I lost all my life lust and don’t feel like doing anything (except going to the gym).

I try to be my bubbly self around him to show that things can be normal. But at the same time I just feel very very lost… my husband says he is doing the therapy because he wants to try to go for the marriage. Oh and we are buying a house together in 4 weeks time from now….

How do I get out of the feeling of being so sad and hurt? I feel very hurt by my husband but to be able to move on I need to put this feeling aside but I don’t know how…

Are there any other people who have had a similar experience? Is it normal for people to question these things?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Feeling very stuck.

Tldr: husband is doubting if he can stay with the same woman the rest of his life.

Out of nowhere, two days before she was crying in my arms, telling me how no other boy has made her feel this way. She feels safe, secure and happy around me. She struggled to form sexual relationships, I was her first, I was the first boy who listened to her, to trust and believe her when everyone else failed her. I completely accepted her for who she’s was. 4 months we were together, not a single doubt about the relationship. Yes she was scared of commitment, but then a month ago she called me and asked me to be her boyfriend. Broke up by text telling me it Dosent feel wrong, but it also Dosent feel right. I hate this, why Dosent it make sense???

feels like i'm the only one in the world who could feel this depth of pain and nobody could understand. I know logically that's not the case but it feels like the world is ending. this isn't my first rodeo but this was the first real true adult love I've had. why does it feel like i'm the only one who's ever experienced this

I know you love pizza especially when you’re drunk, I know your favorite color is green specifically a dark jewel toned one, I know you sleep with a bunch of blankets even though you’re always hot, I know you hurt me. I know you didn’t want to end things because you didn’t want to hurt me. I know you would have loved the Christmas gift that I started making when I realized I loved you that’s never going to be finished. I know you liked it when I put my head on your lap and let you rub my head. I know you were nervous for our second date, and before I told you could I knew you wanted to kiss me. I know you like wearing slacks but not jeans, and I think I know why you like always being dressed up. I know you skip meals for pastries and I know dark soda gives you a stomach ache. I know the last thing you wanted to do was hurt me. I know that you still did.

my entire body aches and my heart hurts so badly. this man was going to marry me, had the ring and all, and then he decided we weren’t compatible and should break up. this was thursday and i’ve been unable to eat, sleep properly, or even get out of bed :(

Whew, it’s been a year since the breakup after ten years together. I finally feel like I’m mostly healed and ready to start dating again. I remind myself that I was okay before I met him, and I’m okay without him—especially when I catch myself feeling emotional about it. Time really does heal for the most part.

Basically was with my wife for 17.5 years married for 12 and 2 kids together, we separated around 18 months ago just simply drifted apart. I tried to fix stuff but she wasn’t interested. Fast forward to a week or so ago, we have separate houses, share custody of the kids and are in different relationships. I have had bad anxiety for a long time and been attending CBT sessions to try and fix it, my therapist recommended sitting down with my ex and trying to get answers as to why we separated and find closure. When my ex wife came to my house she basically admitted everything was her fault she should have tried harder and basically asked to try again, she finished with her partner a couple days after that and I spoke to my partner and advised my head was all over the place (as she already knew) and I had to take a few weeks to figure stuff out, I didn’t separate with her as I knew my ex wife’s history when wanting stuff and changing her mind. I really love my current partner but the thought of potentially getting the family back together was drawing me in. My ex wife was saying stuff like let’s book a holiday, nights away without the kids, she was saying she’ll be able to put her wedding ring back on etc. 5 days later she is back to her old self, not talking, saying I’m smothering her, I’ve now told her to bolt and not to talk to me again unless it’s about the kids, it’s just unbelievable how someone can change so quickly, or my other thought is maybe she just didn’t like the fact I had someone new and was moving on, I’m not sure my point here to be honest just wanted to write all this down

I hate that my issues caused her so much pain and suffering and I never considered caring for my mental health properly because it felt so wrong for me to and it felt like I'm just constantly seeking attention or playing a victim because of my mental health and shit when I know everyone else has it so much worse even she had it worse than me and she was still so good to me and I just fuck it all up all the time...

She is and will always be the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and seeing her face and when she would snap me pics of her and her face body and whatever I feel my heart melting all the time even after she left me. :( I wish I was able to express more strongly how attractive she is because I want the world to know how beautiful she looks and as a person. :(

As the title says, I'm going through grieving a 14-year long relationship with my first love. I'm feeling utterly devastated and betrayed. It's nearing the 6-month mark now after the breakup, I'm still crying sometimes, have trouble sleeping and I'm thinking about it often. There's just a lot to process I guess.

The story is that she ended it, a complete blindside, and as a bonus she already had someone lined up to hop into a new relationship. No hard conversations, no fights, nothing. Just came out of the blue. Looking back at it now I can see some signs. The relationship was (I thought) good and stable, with no big drama, no cheating, or any kind of abuse. The biggest mistake I've made was that I was often neglectful towards her and got too comfortable for too long. But she never said anything was bothering her and behaved completely normal until she decided to break up, hence the blindside.

During the only in-person breakup talk we had her demeanor was like nothing I'd seen from her before, just completely cold and callous. I was in shock listening to her, I was barely able to string a sentence to say something. She just kept listing all of the things she didn't like about me and our relationship in a very cold tone, maybe just slightly frustrated, but not much emotion at all. Just nightmarish stuff now that I think about it, how someone you knew and trusted for so long could hide something like that.

The thing I'm wondering about is, the only point at which she broke down and started crying was when she said that she was not in love anymore - why? If she was completely over the relationship at that point already and was thinking about and processing everything by herself for a while and had another guy ready, she clearly does not care anymore, so why would this be the only thing to make her cry? Wouldn't she feel relief at finally letting go and letting it out?

I have some of my thoughts about this, but would like to hear opinions from other people. Thanks!

Hey dm for more

That’s all. She was a horrible person to me. All our mutual friends say she doesn’t deserve me. It’s been 7 months since I found out and we broke up. Apparently she only met him once whilst we where together but I don’t know what to believe. We had been together for 4 years.

I feel that She was selfish, unreciprocative, unappreciative, liar, manipulative, and uncompromising.

I felt like I was walking on eggshells when I was around her. She wasn’t committed to me like I was to her. I felt that the whole relationship was one sided.

I know this is not a loss at all for me. When I didn’t know this yesterday I was fine. Yet I can’t help but be upset, angry and betrayed again.

Did I mean that little to her? Did all my constant love, attention and commitment over 4 years mean nothing that she can move on so easily? Why does she get to be happy and I’m stuck alone and trying to heal?

I shouldn’t be hurting but I am.

My boyfriend and I had a massive fight last night. He blocked me on all social media and texting. He has an iPhone and doesn’t have my friends number saved, even my coworker who I’ve asked to put his number in to verify that I’m blocked because everything is green. The box/bubble is green automatically before you even send a message - I haven’t had anyone text him . I tried calling on a texting app and WhatsApp and it just goes to voicemail and on WhatsApp it keeps on ringing. I doubt he changed his number at midnight - and he depends on his number for work. I’m trying to make sense of whats going on regarding his number

Im thinking my navigation sensors are broken!!!! I know i know i need to stay NC with my ex— but im starting to think i need to reset his beliefs to make him go away?!??? is he stalking me?!? why does he keep being a presence in my life!!???

He (54 yr old M) and myself (51 yr F) were engaged and had been together for 3.5 years. He wasnt what i wanted and needed- we failed at resolving our issues (this is where i interject as to how he was so wrong!! ) But i wont bother- it takes 2 to tango- we failed— end.

Our engagement was from april 2022 to when i canceled it in nov 2023. We remained living together with a (actually my) timeline of 6 months to solve the problems or call it all off.

When May/ June of 2024 came around i was trying to find my way out— but he made it difficult— as it was my house- my money he lived off of— my family’s good graces in letting him make a solid exit plan… it became obvious he wasnt leaving— to be completely honest- i rather quietly manipulated him into dumping me— which took until July… 2024… and as he drove away that July - his remaining possessions were being boxed and stored for him!! Not once has he gotten a “talk” call or text— a reach out in any way outside of— get your things—from me..

He has in these last 6 months— texted- called- showed up at events— messaged my friends and family— joined a club im in- left me letters- posted couples pics on social media. I closed all my social media in july— but continuously hear from friends about his posts— i blocked him in october instead of ignoring every text or call since july…

And so now- i have a new man ( no one i had ever met— just happenstance)— we started dating in dec 2024– its going great. My ex— shows up at a card nite club im in- with my new guy)—- and ugh awkward!!! The ex then leaves a 3 page typed note at my house— basically a “youre horrible- your fault” message—

Im thinking i want to meet the ex and tell him how messed up this is— how he may be the dumpee- but just stop!! and— basically tell him what i wouldve said if i couldve been the one to finally call it off- basically my own 3 page typed letter.

Help me!! my brain n heart r in a battle!

Hey everyone,

I’m a 21-year-old guy from Pune, currently working as an investment banking analyst. Life’s been all about crunching numbers, late-night Excel sheets, and chasing ambitious goals. While I love the grind, I also feel the need for genuine connections—friends who vibe on the same wavelength and maybe even a like-minded partner to grow with personally and professionally.

I’m passionate about finance, investing, and self-improvement, but I also enjoy good conversations, exploring new places, and unwinding after hectic days. If you’re someone who values deep talks, shared ambitions, and mutual support, let’s connect!

So he's not interested in me but somehow I keep thinking about him like no one I've ever thinked about before, why do we like people who gives a sh!t about us? Why is he so important to me? I've tried to meet new people to fall in love with but it's been unsuccesful!

Sorry for the rant but I literally just got dumped over not having a round enough butt. Apparently big tits arnt in fashion anymore and I look weird. Now his new girl he’s made it official with 2 days after leaving me is known for her ass. How am I meant to feel about this? Thanks for making a girl self conscious. I feel gross

All I ever hear about dating is terrible stories about partners, cheating and manipulating and all I hear about is people saying they found someone when they were 50 and it scares me I don't wanna go more than half my life having heart breaks and not finding anyone I just want a simple life with a man is dating that bad? I feel like I'll never find anyone because of what I've seen happen and past relationships

My (22M) girlfriend (20F) broke up with me a little over a week ago. We both attend the same college, and she is very unhappy with the school. Her reasons for breaking up were: One, needing to transfer without a commitment to anyone. Two, she had asked me to change several times and I would change a few things but the rest only temporarily got better. Three, the stress of school was getting to us both greatly and straining the relationship.

We tried to stay friends, but went no contact on Wednesday. She initiated and I will be the one to break it ‘when I am ready to be just friends’. I think this is the best option for both of us to heal.

I am wondering, if I am able to sort out my mental health (therapist and psychiatrist), and continue in my pursuit of quitting nicotine, as well as address some of her other concerns, does anyone think there is a possibility of her ever taking me back?

If I reach out in 6 weeks, do you think she will even still want to be friends? She has told me and my mother that she desperately wants to be friends, that we are best friends, will this still be the case in 45 days?

I never cheated in any way, I was never violent or abusive. I helped her overcome an ED and was there for her whenever she needed me. Will she remember the good things or only the bad? I just don’t know.

I’ve had two breakups, One recently and while I know it got better after the first heartbreak this one has just brought back all those feelings. They’re all I can think about and there’s a sadness there now that never really goes away. I have no idea what to do.

I miss talking to him. I miss our daily video calls to smoke together. I miss falling asleep with him on video. I miss his inside jokes. I miss his stupid laugh. I miss his small observations about random stuffs. I miss hearing from him that he’s frustrated about the game he plays. I miss his chit chat about his friends. I miss how he used to check himself out for his progress from the gym. I miss his random twitches while he’s sleeping. I miss hearing his breathing next to me. I miss his smell. I miss his touch. I miss running my hands thru his hair. I miss looking at his eyes how they wonder thru his phone while looking at funny videos and that tiny smile when finally seeing something funny. I miss how his eyelashes fell so perfectly when he blinked. I miss him. A lot. It’s been 3 weeks since I went no contact. He hasn’t texted me not once since I moved to check up on me even tho he said he would. That we could stay friends. That he would send me funny memes here and there when he finds something. That he will ask me what have I been up to. My birthday is in 3 days. I’m scared that he won’t even wish me happy birthday. As if I never existed for 4 years while we were together. Why is it so hard ? Why can’t I be okay as he seems to be ? I feel like I’m stuck in a dream. Nothing seems real and I’m just waiting to wake up. The only time I feel real it’s when I’m crying. I feel as if time is passing by so fast but also it hasn’t even been so long since we last said goodbye.

All the horrible things, the little things he did ill never get an apology over or confront him over I still find myself being mad over it. I wonder if he'll do it to his new girlfriend? I was his first proper one so it's frustrating that he might not do it to another person and no one will understand but I know that it's good he'll hopefully not do it but I really hope that she doesn't hate me I know I'm not innocent and I did things to him aswel but I also just I JUST WANT A SORRY.

it is one of the worst feelings in the world. how on earth are you meant to move on? a year and 8 months- all gone. i shared every single fibre of my being with this girl. she got me through the loss of my mum when we started dating, memories with her are the happiest of my life. and yet all that has gone to pot. it was mutual in the end. and yet it could and should have been avoided with more communication. but there’s nothing i can do now, she doesn’t love me. she can’t see past how our relationship has been for the past month or so- it wasn’t terrible by any stretch, we still had some lovely times. but these little issues were internalised and it meant effort from both sides was few and far between too often. what id do to go back, becuase she made me the happiest boy in the world. and i really do believe that it’s possible. but she doesn’t and that’s so hard to accept. but i have to move on and it feels impossible. she’s probably right, it’d just end up being the same. but what if it wasn’t? and we’ll never know. help?

I ‘F/24’ was seeing a guy ‘M/28’ for about 2.5 months. He said that he wanted to date for three months to make sure we were compatible. I didn’t love the idea of waiting, but I wanted to respect his boundary and chose to do so. I have really bad anxiety and OCD and during those two months that we were seeing each other, I was stressed out so much And eating nonstop. I gained a little bit of weight and I just feel so bad about myself. I was so worried that he was gonna decide not to be with me. Which ended up being the case when I asked him. on Thursday, which was about 2 1/2 months in. He told me he wasn’t sure that he wanted to be in a relationship and that he still wanted me in his life while he figured out his shit. He saw me cry and said that he felt awful and then gave me a hug which I didn’t reciprocate. I ended up leaving his house earlier than expected and drove home and ended things that night because I need to respect myself enough to walk away from someone who isn’t sure about me. I understand about being unsure about wanting to be in a relationship, but he also lied to me for three weeks about how he was feeling. During that time he wasn’t even sure that he wanted to be in a relationship with me, which I had no idea he was feeling. He told me on her third day when I asked that he thought we were heading down the path of being boyfriend and girlfriend so it felt like a complete 180 to me when he told me otherwise he also lied to me about stupid things like when we exchange Christmas presents he said he felt like he didn’t get me enough so he lied and said that something was on the way and just assumed that I would forget and not ask. I ended up Asking Not because I’m a materialistic person but just because I wasn’t sure if maybe he forgot. I had also had something that ended up coming later in than expected so I was giving it to him that night. And that’s when I found out that he lied about that. I ended up finding out on Friday That he had been feeling this way for weeks since we hadn’t been able to see each other because I had Covid and he got sick from the preschool. He works at. we only hung out twice after we both got better and I feel like he didn’t even give us a chance to go back to our normal routine. I felt that I was the one who had to ask him to go out and do lunch because we always just hung out in his room. I’m really upset because he ended up sleeping with me multiple times when he wasn’t sure how he felt about me and I had no idea. I had told him about how an ex had done that to me in the past and how extremely hurtful it was to me. I don’t like having casual sex, and he knew that. The only reason I slept with him was because I had a really good feeling that we would end up together. When I texted him that I can’t believe he slept with me not knowing how he felt, especially when I had told him about my past experience with that and how hurtful it was he didn’t even acknowledge that he didn’t admit it wrong. He kept trying to be the good guy and be like I think you’re a great person and very caring and sweet and I want to have you in my life to some capacity. What did he expect us to be friends? FWB? I feel so stupid even having waited the 2.5 months for him to decide. I feel like he always called the shots and everything had to be on his timeline. Like apparently he planned on bringing this up when we were supposed to hang out on Saturday and if he didn’t bring it up on Saturday, he’s gonna bring it up on Sunday. I was the one to bring it up on Thursday. I don’t even know if he would’ve brought it up. Because I can’t believe anything he says anymore he keeps trying to act like the good guy and says that he feels extremely horrible about how he’s hurt me, but it doesn’t really seem like it. Sorry this was long. I just had to get this off my chest.

It’s been almost a year since my first love broke up with me. It’s been quite rough, but I have been trying to stay busy and focus on myself. About a week ago she reached out to me. We started messaging back and forth through out the whole week, me being a dumbass, I started to hope that we could try again. Today she messaged me saying that she may have messed up reaching out and she just wanted to apologise about how she broke up with me and how guilty she feels, but wants nothing more from me. Right now it feels like I’m back where I was a year ago. I guess I wanted to vent somewhere, and I thought this would be the right place, as I have been lurking this sub on my main account.

I have been a relationship for four years, and I think it has run its course. I feel that I have tried everything, and the only thing left to do is break up. However, we have lived together for three years, have a dog together, purchased almost everything in our home together, and even share a car and car insurance policy. Hell, I even have a life insurance policy with him as the beneficiary. We are renting an apartment, and the lease is up in April—but either of us could afford it on our own for a few months if needed.

Does anyone have experience with ending this committed of a relationship? How can I exit without huge financial upheaval? How can I end it and still get at least partial custody of my dog?

I am scared of what will happen. I have no idea how he will react. He’s not violent, but he can get angry and I don’t know how he will respond verbally. Mostly, I’m scared of not being able to keep my dog and that he will be angry and demand full custody of her since he works from home (I work in person three days/week but could work my schedule around her).

Can anyone help?

My ex (20 then, now 21F) and I (21M), had been together for a little over a year. We were both twenty when we started dating and she had been in long term relationships before, whereas this was the first time i really wanted to fix myself and put my all into a woman. We can just call my ex girlfriend S for now. S and I became friends at the age of 13 in jr high. We felt something for eachother then, but she had a bf and then she moved out of the state. We grew apart and didn’t talk much in highschool, she had a different boyfriend and didn’t visit my state much. Flash forward to 2023, second semester of our freshman year in college. We start getting close again because she’s visiting, she comes out again mid semester and stays with me at the dorm. She had a bf still but we kiss and then she goes back to her state. They break up, we don’t talk summer of ‘23 a lot. I find out she’s moving back to the state and so we finally see this as our chance to be together. We start talking early august and by November are dating. Beginning of it was great, we had some trouble, but like i said i fixed everything and did everything to make sure i was the perfect man for her. I had my imperfections and issues but I tried everything for her truthfully. Our relationship was built on a lot of love, but over time, it just felt like that we were roommates and i felt more like a friend to her. I started feeling disconnected, especially when it came to intimacy and emotional validation, and I struggled with feeling truly wanted. We didn’t make out, we didn’t do much of anything, she didn’t even like tongue and we had a dead bedroom. It felt like i was overcompensating for the lack of love that she was putting in our relationship too. She couldn’t really meet my needs emotionally, not even talking about sex. She never really complimented me or made me feel wanted. I had to ask her to treat me like a boyfriend many times and it would last about a week, then it would just go back to normal. I broke up with her and told her all of this, i had asked her to also open up more and just be more emotionally available but she couldn’t be. Then when we break up she goes to therapy, starts doing all these things i wanted her to when we were together. I miss her so fucking much and i love her more than anything still, but i don’t know why and i don’t know what to do. I don’t know if i should go back and try to make things work because maybe she’s changed? I’ve been missing her so much more recently and i don’t know why. I hate this feeling and i wish it would go away. I can’t talk to any other girls because i still only want her. I lost myself overcompensating for the lack of effort she put in because i thought it would make her love me more or finally put the effort in. I don’t blame her at all for this, i still blame myself for some reason. Any advice is helpful. Also this was my first long term/very seriously relationship. I feel like I’ll never love someone the way i love S.

TLDR: Missing my ex (21F) and I (21M) don’t know what to do or if i should reach out.

Creating a barrier in the attachment relieves a lot of the anxiety.

I cannot stress how important it is to do it on your terms. At first it may be from the angle of hoping to return with your ex in the future. And thinking that no contact will achieve that. Whatever the angle, the empowerment of finally putting yourself first is an immense leap in the direction of prioritising you.

The girl he was caught cheating on me with, doing the same things me and him did. It’s too painful for me to watch. I’ve muted his stories. I’ve only just brought myself to not watching his stories. Stalking her account and stories.

Each time I caved in to that impulse, would be intermittent hopelessness and grief. I cannot bear to put myself through that any longer. I want to be alleviated from this pain. I cannot run away from myself any more.

Please pray for me. I pray for all those this resonates with. We are beautiful empathetic sensitive people. Just don’t allow that to ever be a mechanism that forgets you. You first.

I thought I had accepted that he was gone, after he dumped me. But I'm still sad.

We both have birthdays in the same month, plus Valentine's day. We were planning something wildly romantic this month to celebrate all three.

Obviously it didn't happen. It's been 2 months since the breakup. I miss you, I hope you're having a happy birthday.

9 year old companionship over. He reached out to me today, asked me how my family and I were doing, nothing more. I was angry at him throughout the day, ‘how could you leave me like that? You’re a coward, you should’ve fought for me! You’re selfish, you hurt me! I hate your parents, they broke you as a kid, and they continue to break you, I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!’ Called him back again later, said all this and more, he is calm and acknowledges all of this, says he is doomed to be miserable his whole life. My heart broke all over again, I had always felt he did not love me as much as I loved him, but today I realize he never loved me, how could he? He never loved himself, nobody who loves can let the object of their love be so miserable. He might be selfish but he never loved himself. He deeply cared for me which is what we both mistook to be love. My final parting message to him - ‘our journey is over, it was beautiful, don’t let the end of it go to waste, please love yourself, work on your mental health, you deserve it, you’re a good person.’ My only hope from this is I see a truly happy him sometime in my life. We are never getting together again. I am finally able to call him my ‘ex’. Grieving my ex hurts, thinking about all the memories we will never create, all the laughs we will never share, all the love I can never give him, I truly feel sad, but I wish the best for him, he deserves it. Farewell, my love.