we are now together for 2 months but we were together at his house basically the entire time.

him and I met through a friend group,the first time he saw me he asked my friend for my phone number.4 days later we got into a relationship and it was all moving extremely fast.met his parents a few days after we started dating,his parents think I live with them and are always confused when he says that I went home.

from the start we both agreed that this is suppossed to be a serious relationship however a few days ago I was overthinking and I told him that I’m scared of him not taking me seriously.he said that he does take me serious but he was in a 5 year relationship and he thinks he basically jumped into a relationship with me.he said he doesn’t know if he is healed enough and that it all depends but we are in this together.at the start he said that he thought he wouldn’t be in a relationship for at least a year or 2 but it happened after 6 months.he blocked her number and I believe that they won’t get back together but what if he figures out that he is not emotionally available?

I want to stay with him but I am aware that this could end horribly for me.I just don’t understand why he initiated everything,talked about kids and moving in together and then 2 months later he admits that he is struggling mentally and that he doesn’t know if he is ready for all this.he doesn’t bring her up but he said that I am better than her multiple times even his mother told him to not compare us.he doesn’t want to break up because he is in love with me but I am afraid it will happen.

I’ve been thinking about breaking up with my partner of 5 years on and off throughout our relationship. Our relationship during the first year was extremely toxic and abusive and i chose to stay. They have since stopped being abusive but i’ve been noticing that despite their change and their growth as a person I can’t let that trauma go or put it down when I see them engaging in the very things they would abuse me for. i feel like my resentment is growing and it goes completely against my values to restrict my partner in any way. i have a hard time wrestling between this anger at being the safe person for them on their journey when they were a perpetrator in mine and the joy of seeing them be better and to process their own trauma/MH issues. i guess. i’m still having a hard time knowing when is the “best time” to bring this up to them? i am in a doctoral program and we just moved in together to our own place over 7 months ago and my family lives over 6 hours away so support is low and i would most likely need to continue living in our shared space. but i also don’t want to know that i want to break up or a break and tell them months later, making them feel betrayed, hurt and as though i was faking how i was with them the entire time. because i do love them, i just can’t imagine holding onto this trauma for the entirety of our relationship and just growing more resentful and angry.

My ex and I were together for 2 years. We've been broken up since Oct 2023 and although it was mutual, I changed my mind and she rejected me. I immaturely and emotionally reacted and reached out once a month for 2-3 months post break up. Include a full, blown out spiral around her bday when I sent paragraphs of apologies. It was BAD, you guys. Just pathetic. But anyway. This is the love of my life and went down on my sword. But from the bottom of rock bottom I climbed out and totally went No Contact. For over two months. I needed to grow and mature which I have and damn, I feel like a different person. I am someone who loves themselves now and can love my partner properly. Falling to rock bottom awakened me. Anyways, my ex (love of my life) and I ran into each other by chance two months into my no contact journey. We had a cordial conversation- very respectful. At first I could tell she was still in pain/anger, because she told me "how some is treated is a reflection of how they feel about themselves." I agreed. I was fully accountable and said how poorly I'd behaved and I thanked her for setting boundaries because she saved my life- I had to grow the hell up. No pride during this convo. I was just mature, calm, polite and thoughtful. I felt very peaceful talking to her and was so grateful to be in her presence as my healed self (not the ass hole she dated for 2 years). We ended up laughing and casually saying goodbye. As if I melted a little of her icy wall. A month later (and no other contact at all), we ran into each other again. This time the convo was a quick, and casual non-dramatic. I asked about her weekend and she asked about my family and then we parted ways very sweetly. I feel like she even lingered and smiled at me. I was so happy. She told me I looked good (casually) during both of these run-ins. But a few days later, I am walking down the sidewalk and see her coming the other way. I can tell she's gotten off work and is running a fast errand (I remember her ways lol). When we see each other, my heart just stops and I embarrassingly covered it with my hand. I then went to take out my head phones and I smiled (not too widely, just a "oh hi grin"). Help me, world, understand her reaction. She sees me and looks completely startled and almost fearful. As we get closer she forces an awkward smile to her face and just completely, coldly, walks by me. I felt like the kid on the playground that gets ignored by the cool popular kid even though they hung out secretly. I had enough pride and wisdom to keep walking forward, not cry and not call. I just kept walking and my inner child wailed. It was so intentionally cold, trust me. I've meditated on it and feel this is showing she has a lot of healed parts of her, but damn.... is she totally done with me? She used to be madly in love and we were headed towards engagement. I was just so stupid in the end but ultimately am glad we broke up so I could grow. I want to show her I've healed but I dare not trespass in her space. Thanks for advice.

I don’t think she did anything wrong, but I felt like we weren’t the right fit. I know these feelings are normal but it’s so difficult to feel okay right now.

We dated for just short of a year and I did love her deeply, but I had been feeling like we had some core differences that made me ultimately decide to end things. I’m really struggling because I feel terrible, as it wasn’t her fault or anything and I feel like I failed her and myself. I tried to stay with her and hoped that things would improve for me, but I felt like we kept drifting and these feelings of doubt were not going away. I believe I did the right thing, but I just feel so guilty and awful about hurting her. Any advice?

tl:dr I broke up with my girlfriend and feel really guilty about it. Any advice?

Say your ex blindsided you and rebounded/ or cheated or treated you bad would you like an apology from them? I know I would, but I don’t expect it, she’s in her little world of where she’s perfect right now and that it’s my loss when she broke up with me. It’s cool tho.

I have been seeing this man for about a month now. Met his family, he posts me on his social, very caring, attentive, respectful and all around connected on many levels. We had our first miscommunication last Friday. I apologized as it was my fault from a place of insecurity. I gave him space and on Sunday went to pick up my things I left at his place. I thought it was resolved as we FaceTimed before I headed over and he seemed genuinely happy to see/speak to me after a couple days of silence. On the drive over he sent a text saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship and would explain when I got to him. Due to shock and my pride of not wanting to get emotional in front of him I told him there was nothing to discuss and he could just bring my things and I would be on my way. When I got there he brought my things, I left without saying a word or even looking at him. On the drive home I reflected and text him when I got home to clarify if he just wanted to slow down or stop seeing each other completely. He said he wanted to slow down but after the miscommunication we had Friday and how I reacted Sunday he didn’t want to continue. I tried to explain but he didn’t want to discuss it so I left it alone. Since then he texts me every morning to see how my shift (I work overnight) was and to say good morning. I’ve been receptive to his messages but he’s made it clear he doesn’t want a relationship and even said he wants me to have “someone” to love me. Today I told him I agree with his sentiment and wished him well but no longer wish to continue speaking to him bc he is not wanting to progress with me and I am ready to meet someone on the same level. I am confused as to why he reaches out daily to check on me after making it clear he does not want a relationship. Am I wrong for expressing my wish to move on? Looking for any insights. I will mention I have been single for 3yrs intentionally and this is the first man I truly saw potential with and there is no animosity between us. The communication and effort has shifted which is the reason behind my letting go.

im hurt at the realization that I’ve never been in a relationship with someone who had my back like I had theirs. im hurt that time and time again I give men the benefit of the doubt and end up being fucked over, strung along. I have enough self respect to know when to leave where im not fully loved. That doesn’t mean it felt good to walk away. It feels even worse to realize that I think my ex just loved how much I loved him, but didn’t actually love me for who I was. Im frustrated with myself for pouring my heart into someone and believing more in their potential than their actions. My ex couldn’t show up for me when it was inconvenient, couldn’t respect me in conflict resolution, didnt want to grow together, couldn’t figure out what he actually wanted and be honest with me about it.

I feel truly hopeless about the prospect of finding anyone who shows up for me like I show up for my romantic partners. I want to believe that I’ll encounter someone loyal and loving and passionate who reciprocates effort and knows what they want, someone who wants to grow together. But this feels impossible. It feels like some people find this but that it’s not in the cards for me.

I feel alone even when im around my loved ones lately. I can’t remember the last time I went a day without crying. It feels like im always going to be navigating life without a partner. The additional horrible layer to this is that im a woman in my late 20s, and it’s getting less and less likely that I’ll find the right partner in time to still be able to have kids. It feels particularly impossible to find a man with a good heart who will treat me well and commit to me, who wants to work through the hard stuff together as a unit. I’m in such a raw emotional state about this. I loved my ex so deeply and it’s haunting me to feel like he just didn’t have it in him to reciprocate that to me. And it took me so long to realize.

I lean into things I love and do positive activities daily, but I come up empty every time. I’m going to therapy and exercising, eating healthy, and all of it feels like im just going through the motions. I truly trust my ex will do great in life, I think he’ll find a beautiful girl sooner than later who he’s actually willing to show up for, and build a beautiful family and take everything I taught him to treat someone else better. These experiences are threatening to harden me but I want to stay soft and loving. I hate this era of my life.

I can’t stop thinking about what shes doing now. I can’t stop thinking about how to get her back. I want to focus on my own life but I feel like I’ll regret it for the rest of my life if I don’t try again. But if I fail I’ll be back at square one and want to try again.

I just got out of a year long relationship. (28M) (28F) We talked about living together and I sensed hesitation from her point. Three weeks later and it’s over. I can’t say I’m surprised but we had such a good thing before then. She said I’m her best friend but she doesn’t feel what she needs too.

Does this sound familiar or did I just royally screw up?

My ex boyfriend broke up with me a month ago to date and it's been extremely hard especially because I know there is still a lot of love between us and a deep rooted friendship after 4 years together. I still miss him everyday, and I know he has regrets about his decision and is reeling as well. Even though I was heartbroken, we remained amicable and I was still on his social media and we are both not social media people at all. He started posting a lot of Instagram stories of just day to day things but it is so out of character, and he also started following random girls and he made a reel (which he didn't realize I was still in) with a caption that was a bit disrespectful (not derogatory but just senseless). We are both almost 30 so this behavior is pathetic honestly. I felt betrayed and I told him to mail me back my things, as we were supposed to meet in a few months when I fly across the country to get my things back originally (some expensive items I don't want mailed). I decided I didn't want to see him again after this social media blitz and we talked on the phone and he profusely apologized and said he was looking for attention and he wasn't doing well (which I knew). I said it is fine, but this is not you and I deserve more respect after 4 years and respect yourself too because you are spiraling and is is apparent to everyone. The conversation went well and amicable and we talked about a few life things. I said you can do whatever you want on social media but don't implicate me (and I told him I would unfollow him if this continued) and take care of yourself because this is not the way to cope. I continue to struggle with having him on Instagram because he is following new women and I can't help but obsessively check. I just miss him so much and don't want to throw away the friendship but with how he is coping, it is really hard to deal with. I have remained mature and respectful even after being the dumpee which comes with such a ride array of emotions :( advice?

Do you ever have those moments when you're chatting with someone, pouring your heart out or sharing your thoughts, and you wonder if they truly get where you're coming from? It's like you're speaking into the void, hoping for a flicker of understanding in their eyes. Lately, I've been reflecting on this a lot. It's not about just being heard; it's about feeling understood on a deeper level.

Whether it's debates about politics, discussions about relationships, or even just shooting the breeze about your favorite TV show, feeling that connection matters. But let's be real, it's not always easy to achieve. Sometimes it feels like we're all just talking past each other, lost in our own perspectives.

So, I'm curious, fellow Redditors, how do you navigate this? How do you ensure that you're not just talking, but actually communicating? Do you have any tips or tricks for fostering understanding in conversations? Or maybe you've had an experience where you felt truly heard and understood, and you want to share how that happened. Let's swap stories and strategies!

It’s been 3 months since we broke off our engagement and she texted me today (on my birthday) in a group chat with one of her friends solely to ask for a favor. Haven’t heard from her in weeks and she chose today to ask for something.

Thinking of sending back a “yeah, that’s fine” and “also, im doing a fundraiser for my birthday today, you can use the link below to donate if you’d like to contribute!” I feel like that’d be a similar level of petty to point out it’s my birthday and ask for a donation as it is to ask me for a favor on my birthday. Thoughts?

Update: I thought about it for another 2 min, got validation from a friend, and did it 👍👍👍

Often times when we’re missing someone, we tend to idealize them and focus on the positive things. What are things they did, or things about them, that you won’t miss? What are things that you didn’t like about them or were incompatible with?

I know running into your ex in the street or at school is known to be a terrible experience, but god I wish I even had that option. He’s in another state, I know exactly when he’ll be home and when he’s leaving again. I want to pray things can be rekindled but the distance makes things so much harder. It’s not like we’ll run into each other, start a conversation and go from there…. One of us has to purposely reach out, and I’m very committed to the no contact. A part of me wants to hear stories of people who got back with their long distance partner, but I also know hope is paralysing.

Hi, I’ll try to keep this short as I’m a chronic over-sharer. But my ex (28F) and I (25f) were together for a year and a half, and were friends before then. Two months ago, I decided I needed some space because we were moving really fast and I felt like I wasn’t getting any alone time. I was also dealing with some serious depression and anxiety. I told her I just needed some space to clear my head. A week after we broke up, she told me she ran into her first love ex (of four years) while she was back home. She reassured me that it was just a small catch up and nothing else. By this time, I had told her that I do want to be with her. She then began to say over the next few weeks that she needed to “learn how to be on her own” as she has been a serial monogamist since dating her first ex. She told me she wanted to be together but she just needed time to gain trust in me again/be comfortable on her own. Fast forward a few weeks, we had decided I would move out so she could experience being on her own (while we worked on ourselves). When I was over at our apartment a few days ago, I found out that she had had her ex over in our apartment and has been reconnecting with her despite saying multiple times that they were not in communication. They also had sex in our bed. I honestly want nothing to do with her, but I’m so hung up on how quickly she switched her feelings off for me and is now spending time with her ex again. For reference, her and her ex dated on and off for a few years and she has told me in the past they had an unhealthy relationship. I learned that my ex had rebounded pretty quickly to the girl she dated before me (who she dated for about a year). We also got into a relationship pretty quickly after she and her “rebound” broke up. She treated me so well while we were together, and I was never insecure about her having lingering feelings for her ex. We had talked about getting engaged this year (which was partially why I needed space- I felt like things were moving really fast) and now she’s gone back to her first ex. It hurts so much, because I wonder if I ever meant anything to her or if I was just a placeholder until she could be back together with her first love/ex. It felt so real when we were together, but now that I know she’s been stringing me along and using me as a backup in case things don’t work out with her ex, I wonder if I was ever able to compare to her. She has tried to guilt me into saying that none of this would have happened (her and her ex reconnecting) if I hadn’t said I needed space. But I told her it wasn’t fair to blame everything on me, because I have been very honest throughout this entire time about my feelings and have genuinely been trying to make things work. Not only has she lied about being in contact with her ex, but she has been allowing me to think that the reason she hasn’t wanted to sleep together/ be intimate was because she just needed time to “feel comfortable again”. But now I know I was just used.

I’m struggling with the guilt of initiating the space (although I know I needed it, and everyone else in my life agreed) while also trying to grapple with how she did the exact thing I was so scared of her doing. I had told her my ex’s always moved on within weeks and how much it triggered me. I genuinely can’t tell if she is trying to hurt me, or just doesn’t care about me anymore. She’s been generally cold towards me physically, but has been asking me to hang out with her almost daily. She also (I think) has a lot of resentment towards me for a) needing space and b) going on a solo trip. I went to Spain by myself for 2 weeks and ever since I got back, she has been bitter and resentful towards me. I think while I was gone was when she and her ex started talking regularly. So, I can’t tell how she’s feeling. I know she has anger towards me which must mean part of her cares, but I’ve also been consistent about wanting to be with her and have proven it over and over, and she is still choosing her ex over me. I honestly just want to know if their relationship is going to last. I respect myself too much to get back into a relationship with her, but it kills me to know that we could’ve gotten back together and she chose someone she hadn’t been in contact with for four years over our relationship. I’ve been so sick about it all.

We broke up 5 months ago. Haven’t been able to remove him, my profile is private.

I folded like a fucking lawn chair maaaaan. I was supposed to grab my things and leave.

These past few weeks of crying, anxiety, depression over her leaving me? Out the window the second she came in behind me with her goofy ass laugh.

I was fully prepared to be furious. I was mentally expecting this girl to feel like a stranger and that I didn't recognize her.

But we got to talking and hanging out again like normal. Like nothing changed.

It was a double whammy since we were catching up on her trips she took after the split and how we've been doing. She went to the beach and posted an amazing picture. She was fucking glowing I swear (or maybe I'm a big ass simp whatever)

But then I see her and she's peeling like a motherfuck from all the sun and had the most wicked tan lines I've seen on her from her interesting swimsuit choice.

I couldn't help but roast her... (well, the sun did a good job enough for that for me.)

Even with her flaky ass self I still found her as a-peeling as ever (sorry, no more bad puns lmfao)

She was telling me about music she discovered and rediscovered when she was taking her trip to a music fest that she loved and was singing me a bunch of her fave songs.

And it SUCKED, because it reminded me of the first night when we started dating she did this and that was when I realized I was falling for her back then.

It was a very long and emotional night. Lots of feelings discussed. Tears shed. Laughs had. Other.... things happened just like old times. Felt like we went from months of no passion to reversing and being super into each other again.

(Admittedly maybe stupidly) it was so late I just ended up staying over since I worked remote in the AM.

And fuck, I haven't slept that peacefully in weeks.

The cuddles with her hit even harder than they used to. Usually she wouldn't snuggle up next to me like that... but she did and I held on to her for dear life because it was depressing to think I would leave and lose her again in the morning.

But then in the AM, she said something I wasn't expecting again... "would you wanna just stay over and work here today?"

No shit I would love that? And I did.

Not much work was done yesterday... but I did spend a pretty good day with her.

It was just like I imagined it before she reached the breaking point for the split.

The weather was amazing. We checked out a new neighborhood in town. Went to this new deli to try out. I bought her food because I could afford to treat her now that I have disposable income again.

She held my hand and had her arm around me as we walked down the street and it was just as comforting as it's been all this time walking the streets with her.

I remembered what I told myself on the way there the night before and made sure to be present in all the moments vs old times of just being there as a body but really there? I didn't know how it would go, but it was gonna be pivotal to how I handle it going forward.

We took the fattest nap when we got back as it started raining.

Honestly was a perfect day, outside of work.

Dream come true, yeah? Yeah it fucking was.

But, dreams come to an end... I guess.

We both were desperately hoping time wouldn't end yesterday. Everything was so nice and good... like it could and should have been always. A perfect distraction from our shit situation.

But, I am unfortunately not naive enough to think this fixed every problem.

I want her back... really and truly. But, I also told her that I wouldn't want her back unless I fully commit to improving myself for me.

Wouldn't even deserve her if I didn't grow and work on deficiencies I have. Also would want her to work on herself too. Everyone has room to grow.

Today has been SUPER tough. But not in that depressing, fighting tears at work kinda way.

It's been in that kinda "Damn I want her to text me come over, let's get tacos at the place next door for Taco Tuesday" kinda way.

I, of course, went back to not texting her. I know all that yesterday probably has her head spinning. It would be super rude of me to assume all is well and take her space away.

I guess I can only hope today she's been kind to herself. She's got a big project to finish and it's coming along great from what she showed me!

I also actually really hope she starts giving a hobby a try. She's been trying to find herself and find stuff she likes.

I really think she should pick up photography.

(Am I biased because I got her a camera for her birthday last year? Mayhaps.)

But she always takes interesting pictures casually. I don't think she realizes how good of an eye she has for getting pictures of things in the day-to-day. Would love to see her hone her craft. What I would give to be able to compliment some cool shots she took around the city while she has her alone time.

Oh well. But, at least today I will go home after work and be thankful for an amazing day yesterday.

No matter what happens either way, I'll always cherish any moment and memories I have with that special girl.

Also damn wait... I never even grabbed my stuff from her place ahhh wtf! Another time I guess.

(Thanks for reading my rant if you actually did. Can't wait to look back on this in some years. Gonna order that journal now.)

I broke up with my ex bf last Thursday evening. We had been together for a couple days after three months, and my feelings had been dead for almost two weeks before that. When would it be too soon to move on?

She broke up with me Last Monday night because her trauma (from her past relationship) came back. She said she already moved on from that exes but thae trauma is still there. She broke up with me because she realized she's still not yet ready to have a serious relationship (we're 2 months btw).

What should i do? Should i moved on or give her time?

Is there anyone here that I can vent to about my breakup? Specifically a female so I can ask questions. But I’ll take anyone that’s willing to listen.

After you left me on the 4th of July I was not the same you left scars that could take years to heal you wanted kids and a house to call ours ,but you didn't want to commit , you said things that you knew would hurt me mentally without good reason acted as if I did you wrong but after time has passed I realized what you did to me when we where together , you lied to those we know and tried to make things look neutral when it was not ,I stood by your side for 2 years good and bad but when the cards are down your true colors showed , I see why certain individuals said what they said and I didn't want to believe it til I saw it for myself , everytime you see me you can't even look me in the eye. I can't wish you well you don't deserve it

I finally gathered the courage today and went on a date, frankly i didn't feel anything , if anything I felt like shit. Before you jump on me, it has been 3 years since the break up and I can't seem to improve. She won , she destroyed me , I am completely destroyed. I lost everything that made me special, my smile , my confidence , my charm , my goofy personality. I tried everything guys, time isn't doing its beeding and I am running Out of solutions.

My ex and I (in our early 20s) broke up 10 months ago. He actually broke things off with me after I had concerns with his drinking habits and it did not end well or amicable. Since the day of the breakup, I have not heard from him although his mother and him did interact with my social media a couple times right after the breakup. He’s had a new girlfriend for 6 months now and I haven’t paid attention to him but from time to time would see posts from his family and him. For the most part I’ve had them all muted. Yesterday a post from his mom popped up so I looked at it and carried on and then noticed later when I was going through my followers that 30 min after I viewed it she had blocked me and he had unfollowed me. I was shocked because it’s been 10 months since the breakup and have no idea why she would feel the need to block me. I had posted my graduation pictures from the weekend and don’t know if those caused the commotion. I didn’t like his mom’s picture (at least to my knowledge) I would have noticed if I did that. What could possibly be going on! He also still follows me on Facebook which is strange…. And he follows my parents and best friends… would love your thoughts!

So for some context, I was with my boyfriend for 3 years, in March we broke up. We didn’t live too near each other, an hour bus drive, both were in college and saw each other 1-2 times a week.

How did we break up? I initiated a conversation about how I feel like there’s a lack of communication, I made it clear how over time it seems that there was a lack of communication whether it be in person or just texting to each other. Now you might be thinking,? Maybe he is busy, it’s not that, it was more so I could write a story about what happened and I’d get a reply like “boo” or “that’s annoying” whereas when he wrote something I’d happily advice him. In person was similar,

Anyways, I said my feelings that I feel that there’s a lack of communication and a lack of connection, emotionally, physically etc. I said that we barely speak but I do love him. His response? “I’m too tired to speak about this” I didn’t bother respond I let him sleep on it, he woke up, I said I’d love to work on all of these if he can or even if he feels that way too, maybe I was going crazy? I got no reassurance just, “I’m too tired” “I don’t wanna be with someone who doesn’t wanna be with me”

I ended it, I told him I simply just cannot be with someone who doesn’t wanna work on it or feels that me expressing my feelings means I don’t wanna be with them. He didn’t seem to care just said “if that’s what you want”

ANYYYWAYS. Fast forward now, I’m feeling like I miss him, everything we did, memories we had, fuck Snapchat for doing memories 1 year ago 😭. I always feel like I’m alone now. Even tho he wasn’t great in communication and didn’t seem to care there were good moments too…..

Constantly feeel like I wanna text him see if he misses me but I’m scared of rejection

I know it has been a delusional hope... a dream that she could ever love me that way again. It just kept me motivated...kept pushing me. Idk, today I just feel like I am just in a shadow... like there is a whole in my chest that will never be the same.

Over the past few weeks, I have been trying to help with giving the point of view of the other side.... the person who did terrible things. I hope that I have helped a lot with that. I hope that those who needed to know a path to take to address their own demons have followed my advice and are on the path to get better.

Idk why I am really posting this... I just feel really lost tonight. I miss her a lot. I know I don't deserve a fraction of the kindness she has shown me... but I just want to be better. I want to be someone special... someone who can be loved again.

If that horrible person I was could be loved... why can't a healed me be loved? A person who I always should have been... I am sorry. I am just in my head tonight.

Please, if you have issues... address them. Be better and don't wait too long. You lose everything.

I just don’t get it. We dated for three years. He met someone new after two months and within a few days asked to date her. They only dated in person for one week and now they’re doing long distance. I just don’t understand.

I can't even focus. I'm trying to do homework, and listen to lectures and I can't focus. My brain just runs wild with different scenarios about what he might be doing to forget me. About how much he doesn't care. It's so exhausting. Mostly because I KNOW he isn't going through the same thing. He asked for this, so why would he be in pain?

It just hurts. He's out with his best friends living it up. And I'm stuck. I have been doing better these past couple of weeks, but it's hard to not picture him in everything. Especially now that I blocked him, I think "what if he wanted to reach out"... when I know deep down he won't ever reach out. How can someone just throw away someone who gave them so much love, love that they "never thought they would find". I don't even know anymore.

I broke up with long distance boyfriend. It’s day 3 I’ve had a pounding headache all day. I feel like the reality is coming down on me like a ton of bricks. I can’t stop crying.I just dumped the one person on this piece of shit planet who loved me who actually cared. Because I couldn’t stand the distance. Because just talking on the phone wasn’t enough. He was all I had left . But we have opposite time zones and work was so hard to balance I felt like I could never ever do enough and I was sick of feeling like I always fell short. I hate this. My head hurts so fucking bad. I felt like I couldn’t love him enough. I felt like I only loved him because he loved me. He would never forgive me I’ve ruined everything.

I recently ended a toxic relationship, but I still miss my ex terribly.

He would constantly get frustrated at me for the smallest things, and gave me the silent treatment until my anxiety would build into a panic attack. The things he got mad about were trivial: me wanting to spend the evening alone because we spent the past 48 hours together, me telling him I'm going out with my friends for the first time in weeks. It seemed like we couldn't go more than three days without him blowing up at me.

I finally ended things last week. Our relationship was short; we only knew each other for three months total, but I felt like we spent a lifetime together. On top of that, he was really sweet and genuine on the good days. He took care of me in small ways, like making me dinner when I had a long day, buying and bringing me my expensive meds when I forgot them, randomly buying me flowers and gifts.

He would also soothe me and comfort me after the panic attacks that he caused, saying that he felt so bad and never meant to make me feel that way.

After the breakup, he wants me back, but he's made no promises to change. Instead, he claims I left because of my anxiety.

How do I get over him? I don't know why I miss someone who hurt me and mistreated me so badly. I'm currently in no-contact with him under the advice of my friends and family, but I want so desperately to reach out to him in the hopes that we could somehow make it work.

i couldn't feel secure with him but i loved him so much. he broke up with me a month ago. i wish i could go back and undo things. there's so much healing i need to do. i wish it would have been an opportunity to grow, for the both of us.

context:

i tend to anxiously attach and struggle with jealousy and being overly preoccupied with my partner, and worry too much about them leaving me. i'm very committed and loving but very emotional, to the point of toxicity.

i contacted him too much, demanded too much emotional support from him, and didn't give him enough time to himself. we would get in arguments about dumb stuff. a lot of things about him would trigger me; he was sometimes a bit of an asshole and had very strict and sort of elitist opinions, some of which were critical of what i liked or thought. he was also avoidant, and tbh a lot smarter than i was, which made me feel insecure too. he was good at everything and would always beat me at every game and took everything so seriously bc he had to be the best.

i often had to witness other people flirt with him, esp in the beginning and he had slept with several girls i knew. i always worried about everyone liking him more than me too, and it seemed like i had proof of that over and over again. my friends had crushes on him previously or said he was sexy and it bothered me. he is a musician, and a pretty one at that, and in the beginning, after a couple months of trying to get him to hang out with me and feeling rejected, he kissed me and decided he liked me. then it all happened so fast, within a month we were official. i look back and think it was because he had tried with everyone else and i was a "cool" person he didn't know already.

my anxiety was overwhelming. it remained overwhelming. i couldn't handle my feelings and would lash out. i would always apologize but i could never heal enough to change my behavior. i didn't support his music enough. i was just mad far too often.

this is all the negative stuff, which is ultimately why relationships fail. i would go into the intense love we had for each other, but it seems that all of the built resentment overpowered it. I guess i just wanted to spill my guts a bit.