I have depression and have recently been prescribed Wellbutrin. It has been working wonders, except for the fact that it kills any of my enjoyment of eating. I really, really don't want to get off it if I don't have to because of the energy/focus I get from it. I wasn't able to get a psych doctor's appt. about it until next month.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how I could go about forcing myself to eat? As it stands, I take one bite and it just makes me want to throw up. No food looks, smells, or tastes appealing. Even food that I used to love is a chore to eat now.

I've been forcing myself to eat but it's really hard to get anything down when you gag on every bite. I've lost weight which is bad, because i was already almost underweight and most certainly am now.

tl:dr prescribed wellbutrin, now i'm having trouble eating anything. Has anyone else experienced this and do you have any tips on how I can make eating a little bit easier?

We work together at a grocery store, talk and text back and fourth. And hang out. Or atleast we did, past 2 weeks we havent talked much.

I'll be honest, I like her, but not looking for a relationship with a co worker.

Recently she has been distant, and I was alittle upset that day about something. I kind of felt that maybe I put her off, also, I got alittle worried that maybe I was around too much, and either she got bored of me, or got annoyed. I asked if I looked mad, and she asked why I asked a weird question.

So after I left I just text her "It's cool, I just gotta stop worrying about what people think"

Her: Yup

Me: So your by yourself at work?

Her: No.

Me: Ok that's good, anyway, goodnight.

No response after that.

I felt I fucked up somehow, so the past couple of weeks i kept my distance and occasionaly came by to say hi for a very breif moment, but she is still distant. Like not looking at me when I talk to her. I have not text her in 2 weeks, alst I saw her was last sunday.

I'm nervous about asking how she is over text because I might not get a response, or a one worded response like our last text.

IDK if it's my fault she's this way, or something else. And I really don't want to become clingy(which I now recently it's been borderline and I really tried to back off).

I want to get back to when we were really cool.

I've been looking at my phone all week, and just feeling like I just lost my friend.

I like her, but I value our friendship too much to ruin it by confessing my feelings to her.

Overall, should I text her and ask how she's doing, or wait til' we meet in person again?

She's a good friend and I am really dreading losing her.

Hello, I am 19 and I have Aspergers and I've always have difficulty socializing. For some reason, as of late I've been feeling guilty about my gaming and the amount of time playing video games. I guess this all began when: I was starting one of my college math classes and my teacher went on a rant to tell about how bad video games are and what a "waste of time" they are. She thought the idea of pro gaming to be a weird thing and was demonizing it. The next day however, she would go on and show a class where I can illegally watch movies and TV shows for free. So she hates video games but watching movies and TV shows are completely ok with her? Throughout the year she would go on YouTube to show us popular you've videos that are on at the time. However, this made me think a lot about my gaming lifestyle.

I have lately been doing research on this topic and would go to /r/NoFap and /r/StopGaming and people there seem to complain how gaming has ruined their life. They would also go on to say how much their social life has improved once they quit and got tons of friends. To me this is very difficult and I feel like I'm socializing while I'm online. I now feel like I have to be a workaholic 100% of the time and always be doing something constructive. I've lately been picking up Dungeons and Dragons and seeing if that interest me. I also think I'm starting to turn into a Luddite that hates technology. How can I stop these thoughts and what should I do?

I can't tell her because we work together. She seemed cool when I first started. Real out going, warmly greeted me. Didn't talk for a while just a "hi" here and there. Eventually she moved to another side of the building and I hardly saw her. I'd see her and we would say hi. She seemed like a really cool person. But I didn't think I'd ever really interact with her. I moved to a different area and she moved to the same place. We worked together and she would always strike up a conversation with me. She invited me bowling, etc. Later I realized that she is this amazing girl, and I felt lucky to be close with her. I had a feeling she would put me aside as a friend though. Especially since we worked together. Intact I promised myself never to fall for anyone, but some people can really catch your eye. I asked her to the movies, but she was busy. Seemed like everytime I asked if she wanted to do something, she was busy. But she invited me bowling. And occasionally offer to buy me coffee. Anyway, fast forward to now, she see s distant. Idk if its me, or something else. My worst fear is that she knows how I feel. I have not text in a while. My last texts received one word responses and then no response. I'm worried. Worse thing than rejection is losing someone friendship and trust. I try not to think about it, but I feel it's somehow my fault. I must have made her feel uncomfortable at some point. I just wanna go back to when things were good.

Thank you in advance for reading. After a lengthy conversation with my friend today, I realized that I have more wrong with me than I could possibly know. This is strange, because she was coming to me for advice, and I helped her, but it opened up a section in my brain that had been dormant for a large portion of time, and as a result, when it opened up it overwhelmed me with a lot of really important realizations.

My request, is that you comment on these realizations and tell me if I'm way off the map here, but seeing as many of these will hinge off of personal experiences there is a good chance that many of them will.

The only way to avoid yourself from being unhappy with yourself is to live cleanly. This has always been mildly true for me, and I have attempted to do so (do not harm others, do not mistreat others, stay away from quick fixes to large glaring problems, such as do not do drugs as a way to escape issues, instead confront issues and actually deal with the cause), but I have come to the realization that literally nobody thinks this way. No person I have ever met seems to empathize and help in the way I do. I feel like a lone hub trying to reach out and live a life that makes me happy, but here's the problem.

When the people around you mistreat you (ignore you, be rude to you, attempt to dismiss you are self-righteous and stupid) how are you to sustain the way you live when everything around you seems to be the opposite. The obvious answer is surround yourself with more like-minded people and you will have no problem carrying your mind-set, but I have never had a group mentality and I think the reason for that is that I simply think differently than everybody else.

I would like to address how douchey this all sounds. Mushy-gushy hand-holding and song-singing isn't going to change anything, and I do not feel like I hold a superior moral ground/do not use my actions to justify that I am somehow better than anybody else. I have had a good life, but I have always been a very emotional person. I have cried when I listened to songs, I've felt joy in overwhelming waves from good events happening to me, when I get angry, which does not happen very often, I lose my lid and explode, and I honestly fear for the people who have legitimately pissed me off. These emotions are something I have restrained because they are too powerful for me to handle and they have the tendency to scare other people off.

I came to the realization that I do not want to live restrained anymore (obviously within reason, I'm not going to go to work and start staring deeply into people's eyes and tell them they're doing it wrong and that I'm some crazy messiah with THE message), but I have been doing it for too long. I have been closing off the valve that brings forth a new kind of life into my otherwise fairly colourless landscape. I have been looking for validation in other facets, but when true validation came from myself to myself, I never felt better. I forgot all of this, but I have learned it again.

Not to say that I'm never going to do anything that I deem useful again. Quite the opposite, I want to right everything I did wrong, I want to take the long route and prove to myself that I have nothing to be scared or afraid of, and that concerted effort can actually accomplish something meaningful and I am not just going to be a fuck up who appears to be good at some things, but knows that with his own hands he could yield something so much greater, so much more, but is scared because he begins to think of himself in the way that other people treated him.

I'm tired of dismissing those who have wronged me as fuck-ups and I want to take time to rectify the ways I acted/didn't act with them, and I want to be free again. I want to be proud of myself, and that's not something I can honestly say I ever have been. I want to wake up to to a reality that dwarfs the joy of any dream, because it is so fucking good I can hardly believe it is true. More than that, I want to share this with those around me, because I genuinely believe we all have the capacity to feel really great about ourselves, and as a result (I don't think the other way around is as productive, because when we feel bad about ourselves we really don't accomplish much) we will begin to shape the world the way we want to see it.

I guess the only questions I can ask is...does this make sense to anybody else? Am I getting at something here or am I just being a naive idiot? Does anybody else believe that keeping your head down, forming your own brand of elitism and ignoring what makes us human is where a lot of us are going and it hurts us? Is anybody out there?

TLDR: Early-life crisis has me crippled from sleeping and I want to know if anybody else can see some sense in what I have written. Please read if you can spare the time, it would mean a lot to me. Holy fuck this is long. Also if anybody could recommend another sub which I could post this to for more feedback that would be appreciated.

To tell you about who I am feels weird, because sometimes I feel like my life is a broken mirror; I don't understand myself or have a large sense of self-worth/self-confidence.

I'm 25 years old and a Marine veteran. I never saw actual combat, even though I went to Iraq twice as a Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) pilot. I never gained any major citations, but I did some good charity work before I finished my pilot training, and got a few letters of commendation for that. I joined up pretty early in my life, basically straight out of high school, where I had friends but felt more like a loner for most of my life. I couldn't tell you why. I was always picked on and called names that I didn't understand because my family is Catholic and since this was before the coming of the all-mighty Internet, I couldn't very well look up any of the names they were calling me. I had a temper too; in 3rd grade I stabbed another child with a pencil, and got in trouble for numerous fights while in school. Not many things comforted me, especially after my family moved to a neighborhood mainly comprised of retirees. Reading did, as well as playing video games. I started playing the trumpet in 6th grade and it helped too, but there were only so many times and places I could practice. I became proficient and switched my focus to baritone/euphonium. In high school, I joined marching band and was promoted to Low Brass Captain. I graduated with a 3.0 GPA and moved on.

Eight years after that and here I am. I spent five years in the Marines, was promoted to Sergeant, and then got myself into a silly situation which saw me demoted to Corporal. I accepted it; it was my fault that it happened and so I took the punishment. I tried to re-enlist, but my weight and office politics took hold, and so I received an Honorable Discharge and moved back in with my family, where I got a job at GameStop and started going to college.

I've finally made it to the point where my manager wants to promote me and I'm attending a major university for Computer Science, but I still feel like something's missing in my life.

I feel alone, since my love life is all but dead. That's not to say that I haven't had relationships, but they all have crashed and burned rather spectacularly. My first real relationship was with another Marine (we're very egalitarian in the Corps). After a week, she decided to stop seeing me. My second was on the same base, with a very clingy sailor who wanted to merge our bank accounts after the first two or three days. Being 18 at the time, I immediately got hives and left her after a few more days. After that, it never felt like I should start another relationship; I never knew what was going to happen next and it wouldn't be fair to whomever I was dating if I had to go to Iraq or move to a new base.

After my discharge, I spent a year just going to school and I did quite well: I made the Dean's List twice while I was attending the local community college, before I transferred to the afore-mentioned major univeristy. The beginning of my second year, though, I met someone, let's call her Gina. Gina and I met completely randomly; we were assigned to be lab partners when she finally showed up to lab after spending a week sorting out her financial aid. We "hit it off" and started spending time together, ostensibly to study (which we did a lot of) as well as becoming somewhat romantically involved to a point. She didn't want to become too attached because of her ex-boyfriend at the time. And then I ended up moving an hour away to the university, where it became much more difficult for us to spend time together. Then she had one of her closest friends pass away, and moved in with her friend's family to help take care of everything. Fast-forward a few months, while I'm at work, and she lets me know that her friend's 42 year old widower has proposed and Gina accepted.

I almost turned my store into a war zone.

She says she loves him. And I have/am accepting this; there's no way around it.

But I really don't think I can find anyone else like her again. She woke up a part of me that I really didn't think existed; she taught me what it was like to feel actual love and not the platitudes that I say to my immediate family. Will I always love her? In my own way, yes. Do I want to move on? Absolutely. I don't want to sit here and waste myself on someone that I can't be with.

And so I joined OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, and neither one has brought me any joy so far. All the women seem to just not be interested in me. And while I hear everyone saying "It takes time, be patient," I'm tired of being alone. I just want someone who can accept and love me for me while encouraging me to grow and change along the paths that I choose, and who I can love and grow with.

The problem seems to be that I don't have enough self-confidence. Whenever I talk to conventionally pretty women, I get tongue-tied and left behind instead of just going with the flow. I'm not witty. I'm not handsome (at least, in my own opinion). I hate clubs; I can never think straight with the bass. I don't dance very well, when I do dance. I weigh over 280 lbs.

So what do I do, Reddit?

TL;DR: I feel like I'm never going to find "the one" again, since I found her once already. I feel socially awkward and lacking in self-confidence. What should I do?

Hello all, so I'm not sure where else to ask this.

I recently got diagnosed with depression, and have been doing a bit of a self evaluation, and the other night, I thought I might've found something out. Since I was maybe 12 or so, I have, at times subconsciously, and other times actively thinking, that I wish I was born a girl. However, I'm not sure if I have enough "personal reason", or in laymans terms, if I truly think that'd be a good idea for me. In my mind, I imagine that I am a lesbian girl in a man's body (so I wish I was a girl, but I'm still exclusively attracted to women. I'm very secure in my sexuality, and am confident that I'm not gay.

I don't have anyone to talk to right now. I haven't started therapy for my depression yet, and my family is very conservative when it comes to the whole GLBT thing (my personal views are that equality's long overdue, etc.)

Is it too soon to tell, (I have been wishing I was a girl for a very long time, but again, I'm still 100% straight as a man) is this an issue I should explore with a therapist (I still need a therapist for my depression, would it be appropriate to bring it up with them?), help me out here.

TL:DR, Straight man wishes he was lesbian girl, but not sure if its the right decision.

It doesn't seem like it should be an issue to be good at and interested in a variety of things, but I've noticed that its caused me to be completely unable to focus on one skill and to grow with it. I always feel burdened by the fact that I COULD be doing this or that, could be excelling in something else that I'm good at, instead of whatever I'm currently working on. This mindset causes me to panic and switch gears constantly and is extremely counterproductive.

I'm 19, I know I have a loong time to decide what I want to do with my life, but it seems like while everyone else has chosen some direction as to what they want to focus on, I'm all over the place.

One thing I'm really into and naturally gifted at is art, but because I feel like I can't make a practical career out of traditional art, I guess my goal as of right now is to go the digital route. Because I'm trying to transfer to a techincal college to do this, I'm having to take several computer science/programming classes, upper level math classes, and even lab sciences; in other words, a lot of subjects that I can't stand and really have no interest in. At this point I'm so miserable in my current curriculum, and so unsure that I'll get into my school of choice, and SO ready to move on to doing something that I actually enjoy, that I just want to drop everything I've been working on and switch to something else entirely, to finally start doing something that I love.

Sometimes I feel very panicked and anxious and almost depressed over making the "right" choice. I think, what if I'd been focusing on another one of my passions instead this whole time? Music, film, writing, whatever it might be. Sometimes I'm absolutely sure I'd be much happier with a different focus. But I know I'd also end up asking myself the same thing: what if I were doing something else instead?

Anyway, my point is that I cannot decide what I want, and I'll always feel burdened by choice, no matter what I do. This shows in my hobbies too, random sporadic switching between different things. For a couple of weeks I'm a painter, then suddenly I'm a singer or flute player or pianist in my spare time, then a jewelry-maker, then a poet, then whatever else comes next. Never focusing on anything long enough to actually make any progress or build on my skills.

This probably all just seems like the typical indecisiveness of someone who's just beginning a college career and isn't sure what they want, but I seriously get worked up over it sometimes and it's always in the back of my mind. I feel like I'll never be what I want to be because I'll never know what exactly it is that I want to be, and then I'll settle for something mediocre because I'll never focus on one thing long enough to be great.

tl;dr: constantly worrying that I should be spending my time differently and focusing on a different skill/hobby/career, and because of this I never make progress on anything and I'm always unsure about what to do with my future.

This has been bothering me for a while. Basically, a few weeks ago I was masturbating in bed via clitoral stimulation. I was laying on my stomach at the time and started to press my face into my pillow to the point where I couldn't breathe well. Eventually I couldn't breathe at all (erotic asphyxiation I believe it's called) I get off this way sometimes because I find that my orgasms are always stronger when I can't breathe and feel on the verge of passing out.

Anyway the orgasm that followed this was so intense that I immediately felt liquid between my legs as I was coming. This sensation has never happened to me before. I mean, sometimes I feel a little "trickle" of wetness during a particularly strong orgasm. But it felt like a lot more than usual. I was so scared and freaked out that I had peed myself, but I found that it didn't smell like anything. And I didn't have an 'urge to pee' before or after this orgasm.

I think I squirted, I'm almost certain but still I can't help wondering what happened. :S What do you think? Can I celebrate my first time squirting, or did I just nearly wet the bed? lol u_u

p.s Please someone give me a serious answer. For some reason no one in other subreddits really wanna help me with this. Instead they keep downvoting me. Someone even accused me of being a troll. :s

I've dealt with envy and insecurity issues for as long as I can remember. I remember it clearly starting at around age 7 or so, related to a girl I was friends with. This "friend", who was only a year older than me, would passive aggressively put me down, or compare us. She was a smart, pretty, accomplished girl, and while I also had some of those traits to certain degree, I never felt I compared to her.

I don't blame her for my issues, we were only children, and I take responsibility for my state of mind. Just a little background on how it all began. Anyways, I've always compared myself to other girls (and now, women), since then.

Age 12, I was envious of the girl with the long, uber-skinny bodies typical of that age, whereas I had boobs and curvy hips/thighs (not fat at all, and I'd kill for that body now, but then? I looked different than my peers). Then it was the clear skin envy (me with my then-cystic acne, now at least a couple breakouts, but better than before at least).

I always seemed to want what I couldn't have. Be in the advanced dance classes? Nope, could never get quite good enough. Be advanced to pointe in ballet? Nope! Flat feet and the wrong body type. Have a boyfriend? Please! Feel like a normal teen? Yeah right. I couldn't relate to my peers, and I suspect it was partly because I was so bitter towards them.

Fast forward to today, and I'm happy that I've made some progress. While I'm just now going back to college to finally get a "real" job someday, and I have no issues making friends now, I still find myself comparing. It's summer and crazy hot outside, but I can't get myself to wear shorts, sleeveless shirts, or sandals (oh yeah, this nail fungus is totally attractive, especially since it's not gonna cure if I cover it with polish). I wish I was in a cute sundress, and sandals, looking... Well, normal.

But instead I'm continuing on my weightloss journey. I have another 20 lbs until my BMI says I'm "normal." And then I presume another 15-20 on top of that to look "good." I wasted 6 months (January-June) counting calories and working out, and when I didn't lose a damn thing, I went onto keto. So far it seems to be working, but we'll see. But I envy all those skinny, pretty girls who sit their eating their burgers, and cake, and tell me I should "stop worrying" about losing weight, and just moderate. Because hey, if it works for them, why not me?

I see the pretty girls on my FB post photos of other fit girls, with captions like "MOTIVATION", and I'm sitting here like, "Oh that must be nice, to need motivation to lose maybe 5 fucking lbs." Even the girls posting on reddit "Finally got the courage to wear a two-piece, no fucks given!" and what do I see? Beautiful, normal, healthy girls. I just want to screams "SHUT THE FUUUUCCCK UP!"

My wannabe go-to phrase as of late (meaning, I never actually say it out loud) is "Must be nice." I hear it in my head all the time. "eye roll Must be nice...." I'm becoming bitter towards everyone, mad at the world. Logically, I know everyone has their problems. Someone with health issues might look at me and think "Must be nice". Or someone waiting at the bus stop in 100 degree heat while I drive by in my (admittedly beater) car with AC might be thinking "Well, bully for her!"

But these internal hateful thoughts are consuming me, and I'm drowning.

tl;dr: Drowning in envy, and no matter how logically I look at thigs, I always assume others have it better than me.

I'm married(kinda happy). I've been really depressed lately, to the point of fantasizing about leaving my family or committing suicide. I was 14 or 15 and went to the house of a friend of a friend to jam out with some of his friends that I hadn't met. One of his buddies brought his little sister along, let's call her Amy. She was 13 i think, I was a freshman, she was in 8th grade. I immediately was drawn to her. She was adorable and very friendly. I couldn't wait to see her again after that night. I would get butterflies and get nervous anytime I would hear that her brother was going to be around in hopes that she would be there. Her brother and I became really good friends and were in several bands together over the next few years. I fell in love with her quickly, my mutual buddy knew it and he always talked me up around her. Word got around and her brother knew as well, and we would joke about it. I never had the balls to tell her even though I would bring her flowers occasionally, and would go ot of my way for her. She was a small time model. She was gorgeous. Me, an overweight not even close model. Bad self esteem. Her older bro left for college and I would still see her around. Always greeted with excitement and a huge hug. She always made me feel better about myself. She fronted a band and I was asked to fill in on occasion. We became good friends, because of how gorgeous she was AND she was in a band, she had guys all over her constantly. We made it to 20 or so and by then our relationship was playful. We would pinch each others butts in public, as a game. We would try to catch the other off guard. Go to the beach together and I would run the douche bags off who would annoy her. I would come to her and her roomates' place to be greeted by them both in their underwear jumping on me with a stradling hug they both seemed overjoyed to see me. Two smoking hot girls in their underwear, all over me, completely platonically. By then it was, me still madly in love. We hit a few years together at a community college. She always hugged me and kissed my cheek and sneek a pinch at my ass when i would look away. We would be in different relationships and be there for each other when they failed. By 21 I moved away. She stayed. I lost touch for yearswith both her brother and her, last I heard, she was having a baby. Now I'm 30 years old, married with a few kids and i had a dream about Amy. It was about the 1st time I met her. Both of us, kids. We were in a 14 and 15 year old embrce and she whispered for me not to go in my ear and kissed me. I got in touch with her brother, I really did miss him though, we were really good buds. And through social networking, I found her and we conversed and caught up a little. But the excitement of "me" she once always had to see or talk to me wasn't there. She's married, a few kids, a little heavier than I last saw her, but still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. All the feelings came back in the dream and just about killed me when I saw her now. I shoud've said something when I had the chance. I didn't have the courage, even if I would have been friend zoned, I would've maybe got over it. Or even if she felt the same and it didn't work out, I still would've had a chance wit her. She looks happy now. I wouldn't dare say anything to her or my wife about it. But I am now more depressed because of it, to the point where my wife keeps asking if I am asleep or not. I was already battling the depression, now it feels like heartache stacked on top. I know it'll pass and I'll move on. I know that we have both changed and that she may not be the same girl I once fell in love with for years and I'll probably never get the chance to find out. I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Hi,

I posted here many months ago, about having a really bad history with relationships. I've had two which were abusive, or borderline abusive. I always needed to be in a relationship, or I felt absolutely worthless. In some ways, I'm still battling the worthless feeling, though I've come a long way in that regard.

So, in the past few months, I've had no serious relationships. I'm taking a long time to be alone and figure myself out, and learn how to be independent. The goal is 2 years single, and right now I'm one year in.

I think I won't really be healthy emotionally until I'm comfortable with the idea of single-ness long term- as in, the rest of my life long term.

The thing is, I'm happy and single now. I'm thinking more about when I'm 40-50-60 ish. I just feel like if I go back into dating, feeling like I need to be partnered up by a certain age, then I'll always have this weird thing tinging my thoughts and my decision making. What troubles me most about the idea of being single forever is the social stigma. Women who are single past 40 are really pitied- I've seen it. (although older single men are too, to be fair.) I don't want to be pitied.

It's not the being alone that bothers me, because I have a really good support system, or boredom, because I've got a job I like and a passion (travelling). I just care too much about what people think. And I'm scared that will drag me back into my old habits of allowing myself to get with people who don't respect me. How do I fix that?

TL;DR I'm on a quest for self improvement. I won't improve until I'm happy being single for the rest of my life. How do I do this? I really, really don't want to return to an abusive relationship. Thanks.

This may have to do with the fact that a while ago my ex girlfriend broke up with me, effectively destroying a relationship of several months and a best friendship of several years.

I have also become far more socially anxious since my start of freshmen year of college (I am going to be a senior), which I don't know how that is even possible.

I keep thinking back to my freshmen year. How I was so open to everybody and not thinking about what people think about me or how I can try to please people or appease them into enjoying my company. I was just myself. If that worked and I made friends, great, if that didn't work and people didn't want to be around me, also great.

I keep thinking back to my first summer after college, when I worked with my best friend and how amazing that was. How I worked with a bunch of other amazing people and I wasn't dwelling on the past, I wasn't thinking about the future (except maybe getting to go back to school, which was fun).

But nowadays I keep dwelling on those times. Everyone I meet I am suddenly thinking a million different things about "Do I want to be friends with this person? "Does this person like me?" "Can I form a personal or intimate relationship with this person?" "Why does this person not talk to me as much as x?" "How can I act to make this person like me more?"

Questions I NEVER contemplated just a few years ago, at least not to the extent I am now. I am currently doing a potentially AMAZING thing for the summer, but all I can think about is the past. And before the summer, I couldn't look forward to this thing. I am never truly happy in the "now" - and it has not always been that way.

I WANT to stop dwelling on the past, but the past makes me happy...in a very sad way. I LIKE to dwell on it, but I know that is incredibly unhealthy.

Maybe it's because I haven't met anybody I truly like at the place I'm in now compared to the place I was a few years ago, or maybe it's because I am "lost" without that rock of a best friend. Or maybe it's because my social anxiety has skyrocketed, and I cannot feel like I can be myself around people anymore. But I don't know what is causing this. I can't enjoy going out with the friends I made here because when I do, I just think about how much BETTER going out with the friends I made a few years ago was - even if going out with friends now is a perfectly fun experience. I am constantly feeling like I want the past because the past was better. And when I try to quit thinking about the past I get even more sad because that means all I have is the now, which is not so great.

They were never obsessively overprotective, but my mom especially, was always scared that something might happen to me or my sister. During childhood it wasn't too bad (except for the fact I never had many friends, or that I never learned how to ride a bike 'cause mom thought it was dangerous... she never learned either, btw).

But adolescence was awful! Sure, they let me go out, they let me drink sometimes, even smoke... but I had strict curfews, they never let me go camping with my friends on summer, and in general had a more restrictive adolescence compared to my friends.

Anyway, I went to college in our town. They hardly forbid me from doing things, but instead they used guilt to steer me off some stuff. They frowned upon many things I wanted to do, effectively discouraging me from doing them. They used the whole "as long as you live under my roof" speech.

Now I'm 24 still living with them (in the country where I live college takes around 5 years to complete, so I'm kinda just starting out). Sure, it's not AS bad as it could be, but they still "over-worry" sometimes, guilt trip me, frown upon things... so it's awkward because they make me feel like a child sometimes! I work and earn my own money, I'm responsible, but for example if I want to travel on my own they start making faces, saying things, etc.

It makes me feel like I've missed out on so many things that I'll never get back (like during adolescence). I read that children of overprotective parents usually have a way harder time coping with life in general, and sometimes I feel like that. How can I overcome the fear, indecisiveness, etc? I still fear confronting my parents when they get overprotective, how can I deal? I want to move out and even relocate (I'm sick of this town!), but it feels overwhelming and scary... and my mom acts all hurt and like it's not necessary every time I bring it up... am I making a mistake?

I got out of a year-long relationship with my best friend [24F] about 6 months, the effects of which not hitting me until about 4 months ago, and I'm still hurting a bit.

I stay up pretty late, about 3:00, just on Youtube, Reddit, playing video games, and browsing GW subreddits. Then I wake up, sometimes early, sometimes just after enough sleep, sometimes after too much sleep. Regardless of how much sleep I get, I still have to lay in bed for about 30-45 minutes before I get up. Sometimes, I even fall back asleep and wake up about an hour, to an hour and a half, later.

I hound my friends to see if any of them are free and if no one responds, which is pretty often, I just get really down. I just stay in my room and watch TV, browse Reddit, or play video games for hours and hours and hours.

If someone is available to hang out, I turn 180. I'm generally a very happy person. I'm funny, I'm energetic, I'm happy. I do love life. When I'm with friends, I have all the fun I can have, I make people laugh, I laugh. I just enjoy everything.

I've been told that I need to learn how to be happy by myself but...it's just tough. I'll go for a walk, then come home back to square one. I'll go for a drive and just bored.

I eat out quite often. I do use eating as a coping technique. I've become the "Let's get something to eat" friend. I'm 5'11, 160 lbs. I tried getting into shape. I would go on jogs, do a pushups/crunches/pullups regiment, and I would see some results, but my motivation comes in spikes. I'll do really well for a couple weeks, then just stop.

Suicide has never been an issue for me. I've never had a thought, and I've never contemplated it.

I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs either. I never have.

Does this sound like depression? If not, what does it sound like, and how can I get out of this? I want to get back to my happy, life-loving, friendly self again. This isn't me. I don't know who this person is, but I don't like him.

I come from a very traditional family, where my dad worked and my mom was always a stay at home spouse. I always thought that I would live the same life as my mother, who never had to worry about working and who always had someone who took care of her.

I have always been a bit antisocial, nerdy and weird, so when I was younger I did not care much about my appearance and having a boyfriend since I felt that men did not like me very much and I also resented men because male relatives bullied me and I saw bad relationships in my social circles. Notwithstanding all this, I always thought that my "future husband" would show up somehow naturally in the right time.

So I carried on with my life, I went to college, graduate school and then I got a good job in my field. I live on my own and people would say that I am doing fine, but this is not the life I sincerely thought I would live.

A few years ago I realized that my dream life was not happening and that I was growing old, and that I had to be more proactive. So I lost some weight, improved my appearance and attitude and I tried to meet new people both in real life and in online dating sites, in order to foster a relationship, but I was very unsuccessful. I felt like I was an expired product in a meat market and I felt so worthless because none of the guys I liked would reciprocate.

Just to clarify, I never went for the alpha guys that were way out of my league, but I rather went for guys that were similar to me in age, academics, etc, and even then I was not able to sustain a meaningful relationship.

Some guys showed interest in me, but I did not really liked them, so I talked myself into liking them, so that I would not be alone, but I just felt very unhappy, so I let them go.

I know I should be more proactive, but I really think that it would be counterproductive as I would come off even more desperate than what I am right now.

What worries me beside than dying alone, is that I am becoming very resentful of married women with husbands that love them and take care of them, even though many of these women are manipulative and treat their husbands poorly.

I resent that if I were cunning I would have a husband by now, but because I do not to manipulate men, I ended up alone. I feel that I am becoming more cynical about life in general and more inclined to chronic depression.

I am not perfect, but I think that I am a decent human being and that I would make a good partner. I try not to hurt other people and I think that I am somewhat attractive, since I had received compliments on my appearance, and I even posted on r/amiugly and most people said that I was pretty.

I talked to a therapist about these issues and I have realized at a conscious level that life does not owe me a husband, and I am trying to be more positive in life, but it is hard when my efforts do not yield good results.

I would appreciate your help. Thanks. tl;dr: I am an independent woman that would rather be married, and for this reason is increasingly becoming resentful and cynical.

I'm East Indian and slightly overweight. I've always liked skinny Caucasian girls. Am I totally doomed? Aside from the obvious (get in the gym), what MORE can I do to fix this issue?

My family and I moved cities last year and our new house needs quite a bit of repairs, plumbing, electrical work, etc. Last year an acquaintance recommended us to a plumber (his friend) adding jokingly 'he's single.' Anyway last October we hired him to fix a pipe in our bathroom. Fast forward to this year when we needed him again for a leaky pipe last month. My mom, my aunt and I were all home when he came to fix the pipe.

• When I answered the door for him, he reached out his hand to shake mine, but I didn't notice so he dropped his hand. Feeling stupid and rude, I quickly stuck my hand out to shake. He put both his hands over mine to shake it.

• He commented on my hair and how it looked different than last time, and how much he liked it. He mentioned it twice.

My mom told me to go talk to him while he worked - to keep him company. So I went and he ended up talking my ear off, and asking me questions as well. It turns out he's pretty nice, really into business, spirituality (something I've gotten into lately too) and he also has Crone's Disease which he was hospitalized for and had surgery. :( I run a small business with my sister, a shop that caters to subcultures like anime and videogames. We're moving to a bigger location in a week. I told him about it and and he offered to help us out in any way. After he left my mom told me to keep in touch with him. As opposed to just contacting him when we need him to do stuff for us. She started calling him my 'friend' a lot too.

Anyway, I listened and sent him friendly texts, asking how he was, and discussing business too. We text almost daily. Just things like 'how are you? Will you be available ________ day to help us with __________. Have a good day. etc.'

Today he helped us out again by carrying some products to our new store. (He has a truck and offered to help us transport our large store fixtures from our old store to our new one) At the end of it I offered him gas money but he declined and left quickly. My mom told me that my sister and I should go for a drink/dinner with him. So I called him, but he already had plans with his daughter tonight. He said next time though.

*We've known each other for 8 months now, but only started talking (texting) this month.

p.s. I'm 23, female, and socially anxious. I don't have much experience with interacting with guys my own age (never dated) never mind older men. (He's in his late 20's, plus he has a 6 year old daughter which is a turn off. :s) Anyway, would you say he's interested in me or just a friendly/kind person?

p.p.s I think I started developing feelings for him, like I think about him when I shouldn't. >.< Unfortunately, I'm so self-conscious and anxiety-ridden that I find myself subconsciously convincing myself that longer like him (and that he wouldn't really like me) because I'm afraid of something coming of this. Plus he has a kid like I said before. What do you think? thx!

TL;DR My family's handyman and I text almost daily (mostly work related). He complimented my hair, and wants to help my family as we move to a new store. He did a favor for us for free today, even when I tried to give him money. Is this normal? Also, he has a 6 year old kid. :s Is he interested or is he just a good person? I'm pretty shy and have social anxiety. I'm scared of something coming of this, and I'm scared of turning him off as well. What do I do?

I feel ugly all the time, I'm 24, female, and can't remember a time in my life when I felt pretty. It feels like everyone is so much prettier. A while back I posted on /r/amiugly and got mostly positive feedback, although a lot of it was "not unattractive, but not attractive or stunning".

I don't know why being beautiful feels so important to me. I guess it's because it's cultural or something... also yesterday I was with friends (mostly male) and they were talking about other girls and it seems all they talked about was how they look, their bodies, etc. How some are ugly, how some are hot, etc. It seems like it doesn't matter if a girls is smart, funny, kind, whatever, all it mattered to them was looks. I joked that now I feared leaving the room, because who knows what their opinion about me is, and they told me "well, for any guy or group of guys you know, you can bet they have talked mostly about your appearance at some point".

It's scary. I know at my age guys aren't fully mature yet (neither am I, to be fair), but it's scary to think that one of their priorities in valuing women is looks, and I rank so low! I feel unlovable, in a way. Also because many guys approach me in an obviously desperate attempt to "get some" and not because they really value me. It's not because they find me attractive either. You can just tell... they're usually drunk when they approach me, in sober contexts I rarely get attention.

For those reasons I feel really ugly and it gets me down. Some of it I can change, like by losing weight, although I hate aspects of my body that I can't change (like being pear shaped, having crooked knees, being taller than I'd like, and not petite, cellulite, etc.) I also dislike facial features I can't change, like my jaw, my cheekbones, the size and shape of my face, etc. And what I hate most: MY HAIR! It's so thin and limp, and I think it's getting thinner... I hope it's something reversible, I fear it may be genetic and thus permanent, and how ugly would that make me? I'm also getting fine lines under my eyes, along, bags and dark circles... I just will never be beautiful. I already exercise daily and follow a healthy diet with mostly lean proteins and vegetables, but the weight is coming off slow... I don't smoke and rarely drink, I don't drink soda or coffee, mostly water and some green tea without sugar. I also have some more body hair than I'd like (nothing too major, but I notice) and it makes me feel manly.

I just wish I'd feel BEAUTIFUL. I guess in a way I accept the way I look, but that doesn't mean I like it. I fear I'll never like it, and thus, I'll never feel beautiful. I hate looking in the mirror, I hate shopping, and it affects me sexually (it inhibits me a lot).

TL;DR: I feel ugly, no matter what I do, and I can't get over it. I fear that I'm unlovable, and that guys will never take me seriously.

I do not have any trouble breaking the ice, or talking to a girl that I am interested in at all. I am confident in myself and am well kempt, but I do struggle in a key area: the gap between meeting a girl for the first time and getting her number.

What I've noticed is that I am usually the one asking all the questions because when the conversation naturally dies out, I am usually the one to start a new conversation. I believe that it is because I have an unconscious need to "prove" myself to the girl that I am someone that she should talk to and be interested in. Sometimes, if the girl does not seem interested, I grow disinterested and lose the drive needed to go that extra step.

Any chance that it could it be that I talk too much and do not give the girl a chance to talk?

I'd love to hear any and all input or thoughts. Thanks.

I've just turned 20, although I've been dealing with my Mom's narcissistic behaviour for about 14 years. My Mom's issues arise from an emotionally abusive relationship with her Mother (my Mom's needs always came second to my Nanny's needs). I understand where these problems come from however, I can't substitute them as an excuse for the way she's behaved towards me for as long as I can remember.

I can recall my earliest argument with her when I was 6 years old. I hit myself in the head because I didn't know how else to deal with the frustration. We've been in a cycle ever since. She gets mad. I try to tell her my side of the story so we can better understand each other and I get accused for being selfish. I apologize and reconcile. She gets mad... I still feel like that little girl, I just don't hit myself in the head anymore.

At some point I decided to stop mentioning my emotions at all. She didn't want to understand them and this was demonstrated by telling me that I was making it "all about me" and that I was being manipulative. This hasn't worked out very well because she tells me that she wants to understand and I tell her only to have her invalidate my emotions again. Now I just break down most times when she mentions something I've done to upset her. I also apologize profusely when she mentions something I've done wrong (e.g.: "Sarah, you did this wrong.", "Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry.")

Obviously, this isn't working. I feel emotionally exhausted trying to reconcile with someone who just wants to hear that she is right, but also makes these awkward and problematic attempts at trying to figure out why I'm so upset at home. The apologies aren't as bad as they used to be, but I still struggle with accepting favours from people and especially money. I feel like I deserve none of it because I am never doing enough to deserve it.

She has frequently threatened to kick me out of the house. Usually it is because she feels like I'm not doing enough around the house, while she spends a lot of her time at home "relaxing" on the computer. She works an average 40-hour/ week job and has no extra-circulars and no relationship/ spouse or friends (I spend a lot of time being her friend and listening to her issues).

For the record, I am a full-time university student who recently quit her job because, well... I was being threatened with being kicked out of the house. I don't feel capable or able enough to sustain a place to live, an education and a job all at once. My Mom also has control over my RESP and this makes things a bit more complicated.

My Mom is an excellent provider when it comes to material things. Not such a great provider when it comes to emotional things. My severe hesitance to share anything with her emotionally typically bleeds over into material things because I feel like my needs are invalid (like my emotions). I rarely ask about things for myself so as to spare her the inconvenience. Even if she offers, there is always a time that I hear about "everything she does for me" and that I should be more grateful.

Recently, she forced me to break up with someone who was very good to me. Again, she threatened to kick me out. This was incredibly frustrating to me because in the past I dated an emotionally abusive, narcissistic person who even blatantly described the fucked up situations he put me in and my Mom hardly reacted to it. Now that I found someone who treats me well and the way I deserve, she resents him. This might also stem from jealousy because she has always had dysfunctional relationships with men.

I should also mention that she has been extremely critical of my weight. I used to run and be more active last summer, but I stopped because I hit a plateau and got frustrated. I also experienced symptoms of exercise-induced asthma that prevented me from running as much as I'd like. She would lament about everything I used to do and how good I looked back then. This made me feel incredibly inadequate and uncomfortable.

I gained at the most, 10 lbs. Though she exaggerates and tells me 30lbs. She also blames it on my relationship with the really nice guy just because he was a bigger guy (goes to the gym every day, but has a metabolic issue). She critiques my portions and recently told me that I "eat like a trucker". I know that her Mother used to be very critical of her weight, so again I try to be sympathetic. I mentioned how uncomfortable this behaviour makes me and now she gets mad at me because she claims that she can't even talk to me anymore.

Last night, we had an argument about my weight. I skipped dinner and cleaned up after her. She ended up screaming at me and telling me "fuck you" and flipping me off for being so "rude" and "disrespectful". I remember when I would merely swear ABOUT something in an argument and she would cry verbal abuse. Now she gets to be verbally abusive FOR REAL and its a-okay. I apologized to her (I know that what she did is wrong) because I know she wants to hear me tell her that she's right, etc. She gave a half-assed, over-the-shoulder apology about screaming at me, slamming my door and walking away. These are all things she does regularly during an argument. She never apologized about the verbal abuse. In fact, I brought it up again today and she told me that she had every reason to verbally abuse me.

Today, I was going to go to a movie by myself and she started screaming at me again and called me a "jerk". This was also caused by my not really saying anything when her friend called her "hot". I've always praised my mother and I've done plenty of things to show that I appreciate her (make her breakfast every time I can, greet her at the door, always ask her what she needs/ wants, etc.) and I feel like she's just looking for excuses to be abusive. I'm not subservient enough for her and this is also the reason why all of her relationships fail.

I feel like everything she does for me is so that she eventually may use it as fodder in an argument, because this is what she has ALWAYS done and is still doing. Any time I ask for something emotional or even material, I make it "all about me". I've learned not to ask for much or at least do it in a very strategic way.

I have always done my best to make my Mother feel validated. I am as compassionate as I can possibly be towards her narcissism and why she behaves this way. I listen to her brag about how she looks and all the compliments she gets. I humour her when she thinks her crush is spying on her. I listen to all of her issues, even when she interrupts me while I study. I do everything I possibly can to make her happy and again, I feel like I've always felt; I'm never good enough.

I know that this is A LOT to take in. This has been an issue in my life for at least 14 years, so I'm sorry if it seems patchy and I'll try to clarify wherever I can. I feel trapped and I feel like I don't know what to do anymore. So, I seek an objective perspective to perhaps tell me that I am as wrong as I'm being made to feel. Or that I'm actually doing an okay job and maybe I can find some helpful suggestions.

Thank you to all who took the time to read, contemplate and advise on this mess.

As the title suggests I am kind of getting worried with the dating scenario as I'm 18 and still not had any luck really. All my life I've never been the most confident person so asking "love at first sight" has never been my thing.

I've only ever had one girlfriend which was over in 6 weeks, not really sure what we broke up for. Anyway, I've always been scared of rejection and that most girls I know will automatically say no so I have never bothered asking those out.

Upon joining college and progressing to my 2nd year, halfway through, I asked a girl out who I liked and am friends with and she basically wasn't ready for a relationship so we agreed friends. About a couple weeks down the line there was another girl who I liked and so wrote her a letter asking her out as seeing each other in college wasn't consistent. She said yes, so I made the effort etc. Unfortunately, after multiple attempts of talking to her online with no reply, she messages me saying I don't really see you that way etc. This made me very upset and well I guess has put my confidence down a lot as I built up the confidence to ask her out.

I've mainly been trying out the Plenty of Fish dating site and have messaged many girls with NO reply after waiting. I've picked girls who have the same interests as me and, well, nothing. This, again, has had an impact on my confidence with girls.

What should I do? Am I doing something wrong?

Also, I struggle with first messages online and think that they'll think I'm creepy or something. Mainly, I just put "Hey, want to talk?" but obviously doesn't seem to be working. What tips do you have for first messages?

Thanks.

I spent the last year at a foreign country for work related reasons, a significant part of which was with 5 people (various F and M roughly 27-30 in age) in exactly the same situation. I really felt a connection with them - birthday parties were celebrated, sorrows over dating life shared etc. I was hoping to make life long friends - but now, after just a few days of not being in the same office it seems that the others are not interested in staying in touch anymore; discussion over email pretty much stopped.

I suppose I'm not completely overly optimistic over (at least some) people staying in touch at the very least - I know for a fact that the three girls that I shared the office with are going to visit each other in different countries. But am I unfair in being upset over the fact especially me as an individual seem to have been forgotten very quickly?

21 male here as said in topic.

Oh man, I've worked on my confidence, self-esteem, on my skills of making new friends and dealing with people. Was worth it.

I have a girlfriend[19f] of 2,5 months now and to know what I'm talking about I need to share a story with you. Here it goes:

At first, she was into me, like crazy. I didn't care so much about her, but hell, she wanted to go out so we did. Then again, and again, and again and I realised she's awesome - we have a lot in common. She's a great person in general - nice, polite.

3 weeks ago, she went with her family out of town just for 3 days. She was calling me, telling how she miss me, how she wish I could be there. Good to know that someone cares about you.

2 weeks ago, something broke. We had a weird day on Monday. I was feeling bad, I was rude and mean - later on, I felt guilty for acting like a child.

She was busy for the next 4 days (tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday) - she's an activist in "legalize ganja-type" group. They were doing some stuff under the parliament building.

Though, we met on wednesday [she was busy so we didn't talk much]. Met her on thursday [she didn't want to talk on the phone and when I came to their "tent camp" (because it was some kind of camp) she wasn't into talking to me - was kinda exhausted and high I assume].

My fear started to grow... that I'll lose her, that I fucked up, that it was going too well and I just had to fuck this up.

Friday passed kinda normal, didn't try to contact her - no texts, no calls.

But on Saturday I had a major breakdown. And I mean it, I saw her online on facebook. Sent her couple messages, she told me she can't talk and will msg me later. But she didn't - yet she was still online commenting and liking photos.

I paniced... she went offline and I sent her some msgs if she doesn't want to talk to me, that I feel bad for my behaviour on monday, if everything is ok and if she wants to tell me something she should do it. After that, I didn't feel any better, I couldn't sleep the whole night, I was a wreck, a little sissy staring at facebook msg inbox...

The next day we were supposed to meet. She only sent me msg she can't make it, she has "stuff" to do. Called her, apologized her for monday - said she's cool, nothing happened -, asked how she's doing and when can we meet. Nothing, told me she's going out of town on monday. "Cool". She didn't want to say goodbye or something because she was too busy again.

Later on Sunday, she noticed those msgs from Saturday and told me it wasn't cool from my side to think like that - plus, I asked her sister if she's ok or mad at me..

So, she went out of town. I calmed down, gave her some space. I called her on Wednesday since we were supposed to meet on Thursday [yesterday]. Said she can't make it because she's not comming back. She'll call me later or on Friday when she's home.

Well, she didn't even bother to send me a text she's home [she got back yesterday]. Happily pmed her on facebook how she's doing and can we meet on Friday [today]. Nope, busy.

Fine, she told me we can meet on Saturday - great, I have an empty house on Saturday so I invited her to come over. But no, she can't, she's busy and we can meet only in the morning. Changed her chat statuts on offline and kept liking photos on facebook.

My worries.."

Is she avoiding me? I mean, she's really high energy, she wants to change the world. Working for this "legalize ganja-type" organization is something big for her. But hell, I miss her so much.

I'm comming of as needy... I know that, but she's my first GF and I like her very much and I can't help it. I feel like a trash. I came such a long way from being fat loser to who I am now... or at least who I was.

Someone here, on reddit told me that I should change my mindset and my views on relationships, sex and love.

Relationship should be something like partnership - attachment and connection. I know, I know, I know this things but I can't help it that I'm thinking about her and I just want to meet her so fucking bad.

I'm even thinking about ending this relationship because it hurts me. Should I? Should I end it and try to move on?

How do I fight with the "neediness"? Just to get rid of that for GOOD. I want to be a normal person, a casual guy who can build a healthy relationship.

I worked so much ... so hard... and after almost a year it turns out that I was lieing to myself? I put so much effort in changing my life that you can't even imagine.

I'm a trash. I'm a fucking loser. That's what I'm feeling now. Year of work... one fucking year of work for nothing. When I meet the girl that I fucking care about I have to fuck this up. What's wrong with me? Can anyone explain me what's wrong with me and please tell me where to go? What to do? I'm done, I've nothing left, I've tried everything.

Now, I'm gonna try not to think about negative things and try to CONVINCE myself that my views on relationships and love were false? bad?

21 year old virgin loser who can't do shit.

TL;DR

How to fight with neediness? or whatever that is.. Maybe you can tell me. I'm confused, I worked so hard on myself and I thought my problems were over, but it seems like I was wrong. Dating a girl for over 2 months and I'm scared of losing her [sometimes can't sleep; TERRIBLE feeling] - she doesn't have time for me, we don't text, don't talk, she's all the time busy [for the entire past 2 weeks]. Maybe she's avoiding me?

I'm recently 16, and just moved to las vegas, and school is out for the summer. I have no idea how to make new friends.

I'm 17 year old male from England. A girl I have a crush on recently made it apparent she thought I was ugly. My friends have made points akin to this before and I would like some honest opinions. I have deep psychological issues (commitment, fear of rejection, mother issues) from emotionally abusive parents and at the moment,not to sound soppy, I could really use the truth. Picture for reference

I [19, M] have this girl in my high school that I think I have fallen for. I don't see any common symptoms present in me that are often associated with being interested in someone , however I can't get her out of my head. She just pops into my mind from time to time, also, I find it vary easy to spot her in the crowd.

Fortunately this girl is a friend of a friend of mine, so, I also often find her at parties, which I attend fore sole reason to get to know her better, but sadly results have been insignificant due to my social inadequacy and lack of communication skills.

Although direct stalking is unacceptable on my part, I do find myself eavesdropping on conversations regarding her to find out more information, and with limited success and indecisive accuracy I determined that she has a lot of characteristics in her personality that I find attractive.

I figure my biggest problem is that I'm a vary cynical person and don't believe in "unconditional love", and obviously never experienced it.

I understand that my chances of entering in a relationship with this girl are virtually impossible. Its just something I'd like to figure out for myself and decide my next course of actions.

TL;DR I found interesting girl in my school but due to the fact that I'm cynic I doubt that I'm in "Love" and that my interest is derivative from my social unrest and desire to expand my (vary limited) social circuit.

Update: I forgot to mention that she is currently in relationship with some other guy. But from what I heard that guy is "bad influence" and that she was repeatedly discouraged from it by our mutual friend. I appreciate your opinions, so far they have been quite helpful! But taking into account the newly updated information what is your opinion? I personally was considering admitting my apparent affection to our mutual friend and listen to his advice.

I've been friends with this woman (Let's just call her L) for around 3 years at this point, and my feelings have been well beyond the friendship line for much of that time. To make a very, very long story short, L is currently asexual and expresses disinterest in any sort of romantic or sexual relationship, not just with me, but with anyone.

That said, L has made it clear that though she's not interested in a romance, I do mean a lot to her. She seems to enjoy my company as much as I enjoy hers, and there's rarely a dull moment when we're together.

Enter the problem: I truly believe I love L.

What I feel for her is different than anything I've ever felt for a woman before. It's a feeling that hasn't faded or lessened with time. It's a feeling that hasn't subsided despite the near-certainty that my physical desires will never be satisfied with her. It flies in the face of everything I thought I knew about love, and it's pretty much the most amazing feeling ever. I can't imagine anyone else I'd rather spend a lifetime with, with or without a physical relationship.

That being said, I'm not asexual. I desire sex. Had L been anyone else then I probably would have walked away as soon as she told me she wasn't romantically interested in me.

This conflict of desires is causing me a lot of pain, and my mind has been at war with itself over what exactly to do about it for quite a while. L and I are strictly at "friend status," so nothing's technically stopping me from seeking out a sex partner or even another love interest, but the problem there is that if I'm going to have sex, it needs to mean something, and I can't possibly give another woman my heart while L maintains such a vise-like hold on it. It's really a sort of crazy Catch-22.

The pain of all this has gotten so bad that I've resorted to paying for therapy in hopes of finding a way to cope with it. Despite my best efforts, I seem to be no closer to a solution for the pain that plagues me.

Has anyone else found themselves in these shoes? If so, how did you deal with it? I really, really need to find a way to reconcile these two conflicting parts of myself, and any and all advice will be openly taken into consideration.

Thank you for reading.

TL;DR- I want sex but need an emotional connection to do it. My emotions are dead-set on a woman I can't have sex with. Haven't found a way to reconcile this. The discord causes pain. What do?

I'm a 20 year old male and for the past 5 or 6 years I have been dealing with the trouble of intimacy and connection. When I'm in a relationship with a girl or I'm on dates, I just don't feel THAT connection anymore. The last girl I ever truly felt a connection with was my 8th grade girlfriend who I foolishly broke up with after almost 18 months. Whenever I'm with girls now I don't look at them like I used to. I don't feel that passion or drive inside and I know it's not them because I have dated some truly amazing females that a lot of guys would die for.

I know 100% I'm not gay. I feel like this trouble with intimacy has also affected my performance in the bedroom. I usually climax in 2 minutes and it's extremely embarrassing. Sometimes I can't even get it up because I feel like I'm just not there.

I would give so much just to feel that passion and fire again. I want to love so bad, but it feels like I can't do it. I've tried and tried again only to meet failure. I've lost so many great partners because of this and I hate it. Idk what's wrong with me and it's something I have never really talked about. I have issues, Reddit, and I need help!

tl:dr I can't feel love and idk why