Hi everyone - first time poster in here so please be nice. I have a 12 year old SD who I’ve known since she was 4 years of age. She absolutely hates any form of education and needs to be yelled at to do homework or study or anything related to bettering her education. Since she was in kindy (first year of school) teachers have let us know that she was struggling and not picking up on material taught. We got her a tutor - this didn’t really make a great difference. Since then and now she’s in year 6 (last year of primary school) and her father has made her repeat a year. In those 6 years she has changed schools 7 times, when she was living with her mother she had missed quite a lot of days at school (like a lot) - I’m starting to believe the change and lack of schooling initially has impacted her whole mindset toward education and she’s missed a lot of school meaning she’s behind in what she should know. She’s been with her father and I full time for the last 2.5 years in one school and has attended 95% of schooling days - even then she’s still very much behind and functioning 4 years behind where she should be. At home we ask her to do some work and she will be under supervision and she ends up doing other things instead - like cutting and gluing paper. Writing letters and then throwing them in the bin kinda thing. Or she just pretends she’s doing something to get out of actually learning. We’ve spoken to her plenty of times about the importance of education for her and her future - how she needs to know how to read and write for her future and it seems to go to deaf ears. She goes to a paid private school so it’s not funded by the government. Any help or ideas on what we can do to help her put her head down and focus on her education? We do want the best for her but finding that we are butting heads with her mostly and that she seems to not care as much as we do. Thanks

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Me and my boyfriend usually smoke weed together but I’ve gotten pregnant… at first we didn’t know and I was smoking, vaping, etc. luckily I don’t like alcohol much. But I felt very bad and guilty. I expressed to him I didn’t want to keep smoking. I tried to quit but tbh I think I have a slight addiction maybe because when I tried to quit I kept getting sick and not being able to keep food down! And I smoked for years before this not everyday but most days… so I realized maybe I am addicted and didn’t realize bc I always thought I could just quit before this and never had any issues quitting before… I don’t even buy weed myself anymore bc I knew I wanted to quit. But We found that smoking honestly calms my nerves so much compared to without it I feel like I could kill someone I get so angry and on edge tbh…keeps me from acting so angry, and the biggest concern was I can eat and keep food down with it. Without it I was throwing up multiple times a day and everything I ate seemed like a waste. I lost a lot of weight at first and was scared I wasn’t eating enough for baby. I was 135 before pregnancy and my first trimester I lost down to 120…. Since then…. I’m now in my third trimester… I’ve gained 20 lbs and close to my goal from the dr. But I feel guilty bc I lied to the dr about my smoking bc I was honestly scared of admitting it… I didn’t want it to go on this long. I planned on quitting way sooner and me and my boyfriend kept talking about quitting bc I would bring up my guilt about it. He would tell me that it was ok because so many people smoke during pregnancy and don’t talk about it and that I was doing what was best because I needed to eat and that was helping me eat and not feel so upset all the time… I trusted him and now that I’m nearing closer to my due date I still want to be done smoking bc I don’t want to be a smoker all the time having a baby and I feel my baby deserves better ofc…. Honestly I know it’s my fault too I haven’t quit but I kept letting him convince me it was ok and my boyfriend kept saying he would quit soon when I told him I really wanted us both to quit smoking and him drinking as much unless it was a weekend or something like normal people lol… 😂 idk but long story short, he kept saying he would quit soon… and I’d get excited for us to quit and when the day came he’d make some excuse why he needed to get more weed (his back pain from working so much) which I’m not dismissing his pain but it makes me feel like he’s not taking any of this serious at all. I’m starting to realize see and believe I’m just an idiot who trusted another idiot. We made a promise for his birthday he could drink and smoke but after his birthday he would quit… now it’s a few days past his birthday and he wanted to get weed today.. I got upset and angry and we got into an argument again really really bad one. I told him his priorities clearly lie with drugs over his girlfriend and unborn daughter… and it’s sad bc my mom went through this with my dad and I never had my dad in my life for this same kinda thing almost… So it really hurts me and I’ve explained this to him. I feel like he always know how to talk his way to get me to be cool with things or promises me so I’m happy but then doesn’t follow through. I really am starting to wonder if he even really loves me like I think he does sometimes bc if he loved me why would he get so angry today when I finally told him no and wasn’t accepting anything less as an answer. The argument was so bad we argued in front of his dad even his dad and him got upset with each other and I just feel so guilty and horrible and sad about it all. I’m heartbroken tbh and so lost what to do with my life. I really love and care about him. I know he’s not the best boyfriend all the time but I’m no easy girlfriend myself and have been crazy toxic in the past myself and cheating happened so we’ve had a lot of issues and we’ve worked through most of them. Which is what makes it even sadder and harder that this is all over weed it feels like… I was living with him because my mom kicked me out thanks to him… my mom doesn’t like him bc he can be disrespectful to her and me and she saw how upset and much we’d argue sometimes. I just want best for my daughter and myself. I’m tired of the hurt and pain. Me and my mom don’t have the best relationship either so I feel like I have nobody. I need honest advice. Also I know we both are stressed about money and he’s working his ass to provide for me rn but we are still struggling to make ends meet so that doesn’t help either…

Looking for some help here.

I'd appreciate ideas/suggestions. Also looking for good articles about why this is important (or not, I guess?)

I volunteer with teens and I've noticed a lot of them don't bother learning each other's names. They don't think it's important. I specifically use their names and when they're working together as a team, if they try and say, "hey you" or "bruh - grab the rope" I chime in and use the person's name.

I've also talked 1-on-1 when out of hearing range of the other teens "Hey, his name is David, the one you keep calling "guy in the blue hat" and his skills are xyz and he's an important member of your team, you are the team lead and you need to use his name when addressing him as part of your team" and that has been a successful... but it's like I need to teach everybody the names of everyone! Most of these kids have been together for at least a year, some of them 3-4 years.

My son is the same way, He thinks it's not important to learn anyone's names. Not his teachers, not his coaches, and not most of his classmates/teammates. I've been trying to stress to him that this is an important social skill and the more you practice it the better you are with names and remembering people as individuals rather than nameless bruh drones. He accused me of having poor sources and thinks I'm wrong and wants to see proof. So... can anyone help me out? Searching online I've only found stuff saying why it's important for teachers to learn and use student names.

As the title says, my daughter (7) has a friend in her class who I know for a fact is on the food for kids program. I know this because she has given that food to my daughter twice after telling her she's allergic and can't have it. (Side note: I made her give it back the next day once I found out what it was) However, this little girl is telling my daughter her entire family only eats grass, she's allergic to everything else, and they're going to Tokyo. I know it's lies and I've told my daughter her friend isn't telling the truth, but is there more I should do? I know their teacher knows she's giving away her weekend food, because I went to her when she got a random bag of food.

I’m so sad to be dealing with this already. My daughter is 6, gets along really well with all her classmates and has a few close friends. She is wild sometimes and sassy with me but has always been so kind and generous with her peers. I’ve noticed that her friend “Jenna” is mean. Nasty and rude to her parents, makes fun of her older sibling, runs away from other friends trying to say goodbye, and at the park yesterday I heard her making fun of my daughters speech (my D is in speech therapy for a lateral lisp among other things). These are just a few things off the top of my head, I have noticed others. Anybody have any insight? Ways to start productive conversations and help my daughter think about this situation for herself? I know this child is only 6, and I don’t really know what her life is like… I have grace for a child who doesn’t know the right way to treat other people, but I also recognize an instinct to hurt others when I see one. I don’t want my daughter to lose her sweet friendliness or get hurt by a “friend” who tears her down.

Good Times Tuesday is one of the /r/raisingKids Weekly Events. These posts are made by rkbot every week at the same time. The general goals of these events are to stimulate discussion and promote community. The specific goals of Good Times Tuesday are to help remind us of the joys of parenting, and to share ideas of fun things done with our families.

This post is for all kinds of positive stories. For example:

​

• Recent accomplishments (awards won, goals met)
• DIY - arts, crafts or anything else you or your kids made that you're proud of
• Something you did as a family that you all enjoyed
• Something good that happened to you this week
• Something that emphasized the positive things in parenting
• Any story that remind us of the joys of parenting

This is also a good place to share things that are not normally allowed in /r/raisingKids: * Pictures of your kids * Comics * Other Low Investment Content * Your own blog posts or other things that might normally be considered spam.

Does anyone have any advice about Daycare?

My 4 year old niece is going to daycare/preschool for the first time tomorrow. She is going to be going for 3-4 part time days a week because her mom (my sister) gets her one night during the week, otherwise she lives with me and my mother.

I've been trying to get my niece excited about going because she'll get to be around other kids her own age and make friends. She says she is scared because she's never really been away from her family. We've toured the Kindercare she'll be going to and talked to the staff members, she had fun seeing the classroom she is going to be in. It seems like a great place and it's right down the street from where we live, it's only a few minutes away on bike.

Anyone have any good advice daycare and dealing with separation anxiety with children?

Thank you!

Problem Solving Sunday is one of the /r/raisingKids Weekly Events. These posts are made by rkbot every week at the same time. The general goals of these events are to stimulate discussion and promote community. The specific goal of Problem Solving Sunday is to provide a welcoming space for anyone to discuss "problems" (big or small) they are having in their families.

This post is for readers who would like another perspective on a difficult family situation. Please be respectful and considerate of each other. Everyone's family is different and what works for one child/family might not be the right decision for another child/family.

Mod from /rECEprofessionals here. Dr Dan Wuori Ph.D. in early childhood education, non-partisan policy advisor will be joining us for an AMA next Satursday 18 May 5pm (Eastern time). We'd love to invite parent & caregivers to join and ask any questions you may have about your child's stage of learning & development, child care questions and research.

We'd love to extend the invitiation to all caregivers, parents & people interested in the learning & development of young children to join us- to ask your burning questions & gain insight into the growing brains of the children you care for.

Hi all

I'm a medical student at Harvard conducting a research project, and we're doing a project on finding better solutions for lice treatment for young children. I was kindly wondering if I could share a survey with your group. This would help us a lot in understanding this disease and how to better treat it 😊.

It takes only 3 minute!

https://forms.gle/Wbh7bFveJy83riBp6 

Thank you very much in advance!

My husband and I have led a very adventurous life so far, (lots of travel, and adventurous expeditions) and are very close due to loads of hard work saving and investing to be able to live really a very free living (not financially troubled life).

We both now are medium to well paid individuals at this stage in our careers and said we would only have children if we got to this point where we could work part time when raising a family.

Although now we have reached that goal, it seems to be very complicated to raise a child especially considering certain political moves the governments keep making, plus we have the added complication that I am from the opposite side of the world to my husband - so it would be a want to be able to also travel between both our homes with kids (which at that stage would mean instead of a very comfortable life we would be kinda back to normal living, due to the added expenses it takes to travel with kids and ensure they get a good education etc.)

This is a very hard thing to discuss with most people, in fear that most would be envious and accuse us of not being grateful.

But, if you were in this position would you choose to have the completely free life… or would you have children because the add so much to your life…

Friends we have say having children is very hard and challenging and I know the most challenging things in life are the most rewarding but I just don’t know after all we have done to get here, is it a good choice to go and make it all hard again to have kids…

Thoughts?

My kid is female and in elementary school. She is getting bullied by a classmate. I don't want to get into detail but we've had to go to the teachers, the principals, and the school counselor.

This unfortunately started while she was in an extracurricular activity that espouses friendship and accountability and her bully is the child of one of the parents in charge of this extra curricular activity.

We have removed her from this activity because the parent in charge insisted that it was a misunderstanding, yet their child is the one who has gotten physical with my child and their child doesn't end up crying.

We've made sure to document all interactions and we've made sure to have them separated next year with the support of administrators.

What pointers can I give her for dealing with bullies?

Kids are 9 and ý. The eldest dreams of never going to bed. He's chronically tired in the morning. Should I let them sleep in on weekends? I feel like their body needs it, but then I can rest assured they won't go to bed on time the following evening...

My daughter of 8 got home from school today where she was told she has lice. I've been looking up products online such as permethrine and vinegar, I'm confused as to what might be the best option. Did any of your children have lice and if so, how did you treat them?

Hey all, my baby is 12 months and is is having a hard time pooping. I’m trying to increase her water intake but she won’t let me give her much before she’s uninterested. I mixed with juice and she doesn’t want that at all. We’re having a hard time with food as well, she’ll only really eat purées. She will pick up food and put it in her mouth but majority of the time she just sits the food in her mouth and gags on it. Idk what to do please help.

Hello!

To give a little backstory first without writing a novel, Our 4yo (first child) was born in 2020 peak covid, Spent the first 2 years of life in lockdown (No playgroups/Daycare), in 2022 Our second child was born and passed away in hospital. During that time our firstborn was bounced around grandparents for 3-4 months while we lived out of hospital, when the dust settled we noticed some separation anxiety but it improved in the months to follow, He started Preschool in 2023 and was in abit of a shell, quiet child tossed into the big world, he made leaps and bounds through 2023 and really came "out of his shell" socializing and making friends etc etc. 2024 weve just had our 3rd child, again complicated with some hospital stays but no more than a few days here and there but he now has a 3 week old brother in the house.

Fast forward to now - Today when picking him up from preschool his teacher asked to speak to me out of the blue and mentioned that he had "Regressed" over the past month, she said he isn't naughty or a trouble child ( He doesn't hit/bite/kick/bully etc) but he has been disruptive in class, During quiet/reading time he doesn't stop trying to speak with other kids and when playing with other children he likes to be hands on, not in a rough way more so annoying, like tickling and patting heads and things like that. Shes suggested maybe he go and see an OT.

At home hes a great kid (hes always been pulled up when out of line/On a good routine with sleep/eat etc), well mannered, nothing naughty outside of general kidness, Helps around the house plays with the baby and self plays. Nothing that jumps out with what shes mentioned. Obviously he doesn't have 20 kids at home but to me it just sounds like hes been a normal 4 year old. We will get the referral done by her just to be safe but do i have cause to be concerned?

Good Times Tuesday is one of the /r/raisingKids Weekly Events. These posts are made by rkbot every week at the same time. The general goals of these events are to stimulate discussion and promote community. The specific goals of Good Times Tuesday are to help remind us of the joys of parenting, and to share ideas of fun things done with our families.

This post is for all kinds of positive stories. For example:

​

• Recent accomplishments (awards won, goals met)
• DIY - arts, crafts or anything else you or your kids made that you're proud of
• Something you did as a family that you all enjoyed
• Something good that happened to you this week
• Something that emphasized the positive things in parenting
• Any story that remind us of the joys of parenting

This is also a good place to share things that are not normally allowed in /r/raisingKids: * Pictures of your kids * Comics * Other Low Investment Content * Your own blog posts or other things that might normally be considered spam.

Problem Solving Sunday is one of the /r/raisingKids Weekly Events. These posts are made by rkbot every week at the same time. The general goals of these events are to stimulate discussion and promote community. The specific goal of Problem Solving Sunday is to provide a welcoming space for anyone to discuss "problems" (big or small) they are having in their families.

This post is for readers who would like another perspective on a difficult family situation. Please be respectful and considerate of each other. Everyone's family is different and what works for one child/family might not be the right decision for another child/family.

I have schizophrenia it is hard to articulate I wrote post with help of AI

 In my family, instances of domestic and child abuse are unfortunately prevalent. As a result, my cousin's son and my nephew's daughter are both struggling academically. Despite the school's provision of free tutoring services, they are unable to access them. The process to qualify for tutoring involves testing, including a mental health evaluation conducted by a psychologist. However, both parents fear that disclosing their children's experiences may lead to intervention from Child Protective Services (CPS). Consequently, they opt not to have their children tested, depriving them of the assistance they desperately need due to their experiences with child abuse.

The system in really broken. It is failing these kids

https://www.reddit.com/r/raisingkids/s/qcKcM7PN2Z

So, come to find out our son is being bullied... This is why he didn't want to go to school. I know where the kid lives but I did email the principal and his sped teacher.

Okay, my son is 15, he has autism, ODD and ADHD. He tends to get into these meltdowns and get angry.

Yesterday, he didn't go to school because he had a 24 hour bug. This morning, he didn't want to get up at all. He kept saying he didn't feel good, he doesn't like school that well and it is almost over. I told him, he has to go and if the school sends him home then that is a different story. He was listening but still angry. He knew he had to get dressed, had to take his meds, had to go to school even though he didn't want too.

His dad kept harping him, instead of just letting him vent and get it out. He wasn't hurting anyone but doing so. His dad made it worse. My son walked in the hallway, looking out the window, calming down slowly. He said something his dad didnt like and he yelled "that's it you need to call the cops". That is when my son flipped. He punched the window and broke it. I'm not saying what my son did is the right thing to do but his dad should have listened and left him alone. It was only 7:00 when all this happened.

I went to tend on my son and just scraps where the glass cut him. His dad kept it going instead of just stopping. He also told me I had to choose, my kids or him. I told him, "my kids will always come before you"! He got even more angry, I took my son and left. We went to the store, got bandaids and antibiotics cream, and I fixed him up.

My son is punished, we talked because I'm not angry but disappointed. I told him, "what you did isn't okay. I know it got overwhelming and you got angry. Breaking that window isn't a way to go and you are grounded. There won't be coming with me Saturday because of this. Can you tell me why you did it"? He responded, "I am mad and dad didn't make things any better. If he left me alone, I would have calmed down". I responded, "when you feel like that, I taught you how to breathe and ignore". I made him late for school. I did tell him that he needed to apologize to his dad for how he was acting.

My daughter only got the end of it when she hurt glass break. She thinks her dad and I was arguing but that wasn't even the case.

I am not blaming only my son for what happened, but I'm also blaming their dad for what happened. He heard what the therapist suggested and he refuses to do so because he like all this chaos....

It's hard raising a special needs child with their dad. 😭😭😭😭

I really hope it's okay I share this (checked the rules, don't see anything against it).
I developed a card deck to help kids who feel different to build confidence. We're in the process of getting funded right now. There are all kinds of different questions, such as questions about how a kid sees themselves, but also questions helping them embrace personal responsibility. Looking forward to hear your thoughts!

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ontheodderside/kids-quest-ions-cards-to-empower-neurodivergent-children

Every time I look after the boy I babysit who is 8 (almost 9) I end up having to clean up a pee puddle in the bathroom multiple times. The boy has ADHD so I am assuming he is probably a little impatient and is easily distracted and so I guess he just strays off target. I’ve asked him to sit if he’s going to make a mess, but he refuses since “that’s how girls pee”. I’ve brought it up with his mother (single mom, no dad in the picture throughout the boys life) but she just says “Oh that’s just how boys are”… I know boys aren’t always the best at this but we’re not talking about small splashes, he is significantly off target. I’m a male and I’ve also looked after other boys his age so I know it shouldn’t/doesn’t have to be this bad. Admittedly I haven’t observed his technique (or lack there of) so I don’t know how exactly he’s missing that bad 😅

I don’t know how best to help him get better at this. Since they don’t buy cereal I’m looking for options other than the old cereal trick.

Current plan is to get him to start cleaning up his own messes, but would love to find some way to help him so that what ever is causing the issue in the first place can stop

Edit Additional Info: He is uncircumcised… I don’t know if that could be a contributing factor, but just trying to give as much info so i can get as much help as possible