Hi all, first-time poster. I have posted this on a couple of subreddits to get advice from different perspective.

This post talks about sleeping training but not CIO method and I want strategies that aren't aligned with conventional sleep training.

Background.

I had PND and PNA and a somewhat traumatic birth/postpartum, and truly struggled with sleep.

We were rocking her to sleep and she would cry and cry but one day I just left her in her bassinet (at 5 months) to get a break, and she fell asleep. So we technically sleep-trained her, as she fussed for a couple of minutes and fall asleep. Overall, cried less.

She regressed again at 10 months, and we sleep-trained her then with 3-minute check-ins, and that worked well.

She has slept AMAZING ever since, with a few regressions sprinkled in there but nothing major.

Fast forward to now, she started to have bad dreams about her stuffy (stuffy breaking etc) and that has triggered a form of fear in her. And for the past month or so, she has been waking up during the night, screaming. We thought they were associated with her bad dreams but later found out they were also mixed in with the fact that she wakes up in the middle of the night and gets upset (possibly feels lonely) and calls out.

We settled her back in bed, a couple of times by re-doing her night routine, book, songs, and cuddle and bed.

But recently, this hasn't been successful. I've slept in her cot and slept next to her cot on the floor.

We want to transition into a single bed, so changed her room a little bit by putting in a new night light, taking out the big chair, and putting in a little toddler chair.

Last night, around 2:30 am she woke up screaming, and we held her in the living room, cuddled, read some books, and showed her that it was nighttime. She used the potty, drank some water, read her some books, and went into her room.

She was so distraught. She stared at the night light (so wondering if she was spooked by it, its just a teardrop-shaped light).

I just didn't have it in me to put her in the cot and walk away, I would have done this when she was a baby as she needed/looked like she needed the space but she is so aware of what is happening and I didn't want to *scar* (for the lack of better words) her.

This resulted in me sleeping next to her cot on a mattress. My husband also joined as he wants to be able to take over for me on some nights.

Also wanted to add that she can't sleep on our bed, she thinks it's time to play but we haven't tried this for more than an hour so maybe she needs more time to settle in our bed.

I'm also conscious that when she is in her single bed, she will be able to just get up and leave her room.

Daughter's personality

She is very strong-willed, she has been having a hard to regulating her emotions recently. She has an amazing memory, and I'm stating this as this is part of the reason why I don't want her to feel abandoned. Along with that she feels deeply, she notices the smallest things, even a little scratch on our hands, she picks up.

My questions/spirally thoughts haha

What are some conscious/attachment parenting strategies that I can use to navigate this time?

The thoughts that are sort of cycling through are

What are some tips for getting toddlers to sleep in their rooms?

Is what she is going through quite normal for her age?

Am I overthinking it?

I spiral a lot about sleep and I think I may have some postpartum hang-ups so would just accepting it make It better?

If we just accept her in our bed or transition her into a single bed and one of us joins her when she wakes, would that define the next few years of our sleep?

Should we hold off on the single bed?

Ah so sorry for the essay. Thank you so much!

My little one is 12 months old. My husband and I don't have family nearby so for the past year we have handled all childcare. We both worked remote up till now so we just took turns throughout the day with working and watching our baby. The problem I am facing now is that my husband got a new job full time in office. I still have to work as well (can't afford not to work) obviously watching a toddler while trying to work is nearly impossible. Luckily my job is somewhat flexible but I could still benefit from some help.

My issue... My baby does not handle being with other people well. My mom just visited and if my husband or I left the room for just a moment, he would scream and cry. Wouldn't stop. Would get so worked up to the point of hyperventilating. Idk how I'm supposed to hire someone to watch him for a couple hours a week if he's going to scream and get this worked up? It makes me feel terrible. I would ideally want someone in my own home but obviously hearing my child scream wouldnt be a good work environment (and cause me so much anxiety.)

Looking for any advice.

Hi mamas! I’m new to Reddit, looking to pick some of your brains. I have a toddler I’m looking to night wean. He doesn’t nurse at night because he’s hungry, he just wants to comfort suck. I’ve been okay with that but my husband and I are starting to think about another baby and slowly starting to wean. He has always refused any other kind of a comfort item, he won’t take a pacifier or anything else. I don’t believe in cry it out obviously but if I don’t let him nurse at night, he loses his mind. It breaks my heart. I have tried walking him outside, reading him a book, getting out his blocks, back rubs, singing to him, telling him calmly how much I love him, distracting him, showing him things, I never put him down and leave him, I’m always holding and cuddling him but he refuses to take any form of comfort other than my boob. What do I do? Have any of you experienced this? What worked for you? I don’t want him to get so upset, I don’t know how else to comfort him as we slowly cut back on nursing. I have tried to give him time, I adore breastfeeding and bed sharing but my husband and I got married a little older in life and we are looking to try for another in the next few months. Any thoughts? Thanks in advance! :)

Hi all! I currently breastfeed my 5.5 month old to sleep. Unfortunately this has left her dad very limited on how he can get her to sleep when on his own with her. Bottle feeding her expressed milk hasn't worked so far, he's tried rocking to sleep but she screams and arches her back when rocking. He's been left with essentially controlled crying where she lies in the cot while he holds her hand and she cries herself to sleep.

I'm a bit conflicted about this as she's so small and I've worked hard to respond to her needs as soon as she cries so feel this may be confusing for her. However there are times I need to leave the house and my partner has to put her to bed for naps/bedtime.

Any advice would be appreciated, or opinions on our current method for getting our daughter to sleep when I'm not home. Thanks!

TLDR: What methods does the non breastfeeding partner use to get baby to sleep?

My son just turned 2. We have been going to many birthday parties, Halloween parties, etc. First and foremost, I know developing secure attachment is more than bed-sharing and breastfeeding. In summary we support our child’s needs on all levels and are responsive in ways he is best receptive to. However, both topics are just so openly discussed among parents especially sleep. We don’t know anyone else that didn’t sleep train and we are definitely the only family still breastfeeding. My son is thriving and I know doing these things is beneficial not just for him but for our family. Just like I know that choosing not to do them is beneficial for other families. I can’t help but to feel like the “odd man out”. Maybe even 2nd guess our choices! Probably because people look at us like we have 2 heads when we tell what we do. Just wanting to vent and get a little emotional about it. ♥️

First of all, no shaming in any way of parents who do this. Nor am I saying daycares etc are horrible, just know the research in this area particularly in the first 3 years.

My issue is probably more of a relationship one really, not a horrible one but a consistent issue.

Long story short, we bought a fixer upper house on acreage before we had our baby. I agreed to go back to work full time after my year mat leave (Australia), and was told Id go crazy not working for that long by friends etc. We both love the space and have outdoor hobbies.

I had no idea how hard it would be to seperate from my child, and stuck to part time. I am on a great wage but in a highly stressful job.

I am torn between time with my almost 2yo and the strain on my marriage (1 bio, 2 stepkids).

My partner is great, highly contributes to parenting etc but wants to do activities that cost money eg camping, pub meals, movie etc Nothing insane, but things that now have become extra. He works 11 days a fortnight and works hard.

We are not at risk of losing our house, but we're not making headway with our savings. My partner is not an asshole but practical, and his suggestions are move back to a house block or he works away for me to stay part time. I have declined both, as the kids will love the land and little creek as they grow and I could not stand the idea of him being away from the kids for weeks at a time.

How do I make myself feel better about being to return to full time some point soon?

I am angry about the general injustice of the cost of living, conscious of my choices now for the future- both of a wonderful place to live and my child's emotional security.

9 month old baby.

EBF and eats lots of solids. Doesnt like the bottle. Doesn’t mind formula (have given it to taste throughout the last month or so as I thought I might try to wean but I haven’t yet). Cosleeping. Nurses to sleep.

I will be gone for approx 30 hours. Baby will be with my husband.

Will my baby be fine if she only eats solids for the time I’m gone? I’m afraid she will refuse the bottle and formula.

Anyone have a similar situation and it turned out ok?

Not sure if it’s ok to post here as it’s not strictly about attachment and such, but I like this community and was wondering if anyone sharing parenting values has any advice. So my first is turning 3.5 end of year and so far, no interest in potty training whatsoever.

Background info: we try to raise him in a respectful, gentle way. We hold certain boundries but try to follow his lead as much as possible, for example we started sleeping in his own room when he chose to, and we didn’t send him to daycare at 2 y.o. as he seemed to be distressed by it. We’ve been reading books on the subject for forever, talk about going to the toilet, take him with us. We ordered a fancy potty he’d chosen in the summer and tried encouraging him to stop wearing diaper at home (it was very hot), but he didn’t want to. Same for sitting in the potty. He keeps saying he’ll do it when he’s big, or when he’s 10 yo (ha, ha). We left it in the summer as he was starting kindergarten in Sept so we didn’t want to put too much pressure on him and I was hoping other kids (almost all potty trained) would be some inspiration. He’s since settled in very well, loves going and all, but still doesn’t want to try potty. On top of that, he’s been in a habit of pooing at night, usually before we go to sleep - it started when his sibling was born a year ago, I guess because there was so much going in during the day, and just stayed this way. My husband is very much lax and saying we should wait etc but I am getting increasingly resentful about the whole situation. I feel like we might have to go cold turkey over the holidays in Dec and just take aways the diapers and see how it goes, because I feel like he’s just scared of change and trying it out. This was how we got rid of day dummies/pacis: we told him mice living in the neighbourhood came and took them for their babies😂 otherwise he would still be asking for them everytime he was upset.

Was anyone in the same boat? Any advice?🙏🏻

Time has come: I have to go back to work and earn for our living. In two weeks my 5 months old baby will have to start in daycare.

I deeply cherish the bond we've built via exclusive breastfeeding, tons of baby wearing and contact napping - he doesn't really know anything else in life. Yet.

In the daycare they told me to teach him falling asleep independently in the cot prior to the start. I am trying and trying with no success, lots of tears and frustration for hours. It all ends up with me nursing him to sleep anyway, just so he gets some rest at all.

While attempting to teach him an independent sleep, I am constantly questioning myself whether it is the right thing to do at all: forcing a 5 months old baby to sleep away from his mom, and how all this forcing will affect his trust and attachment to me. I am terrified to think how he will be heartbroken and struggling in the daycare.

Has anyone been in the similar situation and managed to find a solution on keeping the strong bond and letting a baby strive in the daycare at the same time? Share your experience please.

The day has come. My 21 month old needs to stop drinking milk from a bottle to be able to sleep. He does it before nap, before he sleeps at night and wakes up 2 times during the night to drink more and go back to sleep. I’m so anxious as he’s always had at least one bottle before falling asleep even when he slept thru the night (see below), I still gave him a bottle and moved him while asleep.

Last night was the first time I refused to give him milk at 3 am. He cried , protested and kept leaving the bed to get milk from the kitchen but I kept reassuring him that we will have milk in the morning. 1.5 hours later it worked and he fell asleep.

I feel like I should have done this sooner and in a way it’s my fault to have created this behavior for not letting the bottle go sooner. I’m dreading this but hopeful he’ll understand it.

I hope this community of all communities understands where I’m coming from and can share tips of how to do it or not? Maybe I can wait till he’s older? But what if it continues to damage his teeth and quality of sleep? And mine 😭

Some context about us: We sleep trained him 3 times and he slept thru the time between 12-15 months. Then between teething and lots of travel we started co-sleeping and we still do. This is something for another day. He doesn’t drink milk any time during the day other than falling asleep. I feel like I’m back to newborn days of having disconnected sleep and waking up every 3-4 hours. I’m craving a full night of sleep.

Hey guys.

I have a 7 month old who is VERY high stimulus. She does not sit still, not for a moment. Constantly grabbing things, screaming, moving 24/7. She hasn’t learned to crawl or sit up on her own yet, but we are working on it.

I am at my wits end. She is SO much to handle and I am so beyond exhausted. Unless I am holding her and moving 24/7, she screams at the top of her lungs. I have a good baby carrier, but I am just absolutely exhausted from moving around so much. I also have severe postpartum that I’m getting treatment for, so my energy levels are practically zero. I have tried putting her down and slowly training her to take small breaks but it just is not happening.

Any advice?

writing this in desperation. my 16 month old is currently waking every 2 hours at night and at 5am. the longest stretch i get these days is around 3 hours. very rarely. she’s currently down to one nap. usually around 11-1pm. she sleeps in her own room in a crib. during the first part of the night she’s usually easily settled. but it’s currently 2:52am and she’s been awake for over an hour at this point. i’ve tried multiple times to settle her in her bed, but she will consistently wake up as soon as i open the door to leave. it’s not like she’s not tired, she does fall asleep she just doesn’t stay asleep. she nurses between 1am-3am most nights. unfortunately, my husband is only able to help with the earlier wakings. we’ve tried co-sleeping but she thinks it’s wrestle time and not sleep time. i’m running on empty and need some help. i’m finding myself having to leave her to cry every night for at least a few minutes because i’m getting so exhausted and frustrated. before she got her molars she was regularly sleeping through the night. what am i doing wrong?

edit to add: she’s not currently teething or sick and is usually asleep before 7:30pm most nights

I’m from India where babies start independent pre school by 2 years of age (as opposed to mother toddler program which begins as early as 16 months) and kindergarten by the age of 4.

I’m personally not so keen to send my LO to independent school at 2 years because I’m a SAHM and would rather give her that one on one time at home. at the same time I feel some anxiety about her missing out on socialisation with other kids her age.

In what ways the benefits of early socialisation outweigh the benefits of one on one attention at home?

Or I am projecting it.

We come from Southern European familiies which basically told us “eat because children in Africa don’t have food” or essentially forcing us to have more food even though we are full.

We want to do differently with our kid.

But I think we never learned any other way to feed babies, so we don’t really know how to do it. Maybe your experience can help us?

Our 8 month old baby started eating solids at 6 months, but was already enjoying small taste samples since 4. He was always super excited about food, until recently. Now he will shake his arms mid feeding which I think is a sign of stress? He’ll accept food if given to him after he starts shaking his arms. But feeding time tends to end in crying and frustration. So I don’t know. We do BLW, but also spoon feed.

We are afraid he is not eating enough, especially iron. He breatfeeds on demand, as recommended by the doctor, and we offer him three meals a day. At the moment his sleep/nap schedule is confusing because of the hour change, meaning that meal times are now earlier too.

My wife and I agreed now that when he shakes his arms, we’ll stop feeding, even if he ate little and see how it goes.

Would love to hear your experiences though, maybe understand how we are supposed to do things.

My 12 month old has suddenly stopped sleeping at night unless being held or co-sleeping. This is brand new behaviour - he’s always been able to fall asleep and stay asleep alone in his crib. Now he screams bloody murder in his crib. We have tried sleep training numerous times - it isn’t working for us. My son will not sort himself out or fall asleep. When I say he screams, I mean screams on the top of his lungs, and there’s no slowing down or stopping. We have left him to cry and the longest we’ve pushed it is 50 minutes - he will NOT calm down or fall asleep. We’ve tried the method of going in his room to soothe him without picking him up. Same thing, he screams and bangs his head off the crib. Even after 30 minutes of rubbing his back, singing, shushing. This kid cannot be sleep trained, I swear.

I’m sort of at a loss here. I’m fine with co sleeping while he figures this out and most nights now we’re too tired to fight with him so we just co-sleep. The problem is, he goes to bed at 7 and he will not fall asleep without us. Which means one of us has to sacrifice our evening and free time and chore time to lay in bed with him. This obviously isn’t sustainable. We are working parents. we can’t go to bed at 7pm every night.

I’m expecting my second. I’m not even 3 months along yet, but I am so anxious about how we’re going to manage a nursing, cluster feeding, totally dependent newborn with a toddler that refuses to sleep without us.

I’m not sure what to do. It’s been 14 nights now of endless suffering. I dread the evenings. I’m so tired at work I can barely stay awake. What do we do?

I am looking to make the transition with with my 12 month old into his own room. I plan to continue sleeping with him in there for the foreseeable. We have a small place and are thinking to maximize the investment of a new floor bed, as we expect him to move to his brother’s bunk bed in another couple years. I’ve been looking at some floor sofa beds - Koala or Ecosa sofa bed in particular. I’m wondering if anyone has experience with these beds? Specifically how firm the mattresses are, and the ability to put a waterproof mattress protector on it? I love the idea of being able to fold his bed away and have room to play on the floor in his room, but not at the expense of safety or hygiene… I’d love thoughts or suggestions if you’ve tried anything similar! Thank you.

My husband starts work late and most days is the one to get up with by 23 month old in the morning.

Has two next month but for the last several months she does this on and off.

Not every day.

But he will get up with her in the morning and she will either be chill or be an emotional nightmare asking for me for the whole time.

I want mummy I want mummy.

Then he will bring her to me and she will protest for boobie.

She doesn’t want to cuddle, or do kisses she just wants boobie.

If I put her on for a moment she will want to suck like a bloody newborn and if she doses of and gets tired and I take it out she looses her shit. “One more minute boobie” She doesn’t understand concept of time so she will just say that again and again.

Her reaction is really mad. She isn’t crying she’s crying and yelling with her every bit of energy. Like saying MUMMY or BOOOOOBIE in her angriest tone. It’s so hard to feel sorry for her when she’s like this because she’s not being sad and sweet she’s being really bossy.

I’m stopping boobie lol before she’s two so the next few weeks wish me luck

This morning was my daughters(23m) sixth swimming lessons. Up until 2 weeks ago I was feeling a bit defeated about swimming lessons. That morning's class, she had spent the whole class protesting every activity we did, every swimming position every prop. I personally didn't feel comfortable forcing her to do the different positions like dunking her under water, forcing her to float on her tummy/back if she was crying. I saw other parents did do that, and I wondered if I was going about it wrong and was thus wasting my time and money by not forcing her. However I just couldn't, I also was worried about causing her to hate swimming and swimming lessons, so I just accepted that even if these lessons were just exposure to water, so be it.

Then last weeks class, I realized that when I don't transition her from position to position and follow her lead instead, she actually knew how and was willing to do the moves. So this week's class, I took things a bit more casually, letting go of my own internal pressure of following the class, using it more as general guidelines than instructions and tuning into the things my daughter was interested in and wanted to do. I found out that if I use the slide, she'll let me dunk her into the water and that if I give her a duck floaty, she will gladly float on her back with her ears in the water as long as she's holding the floaty; and she had fun the whole time! I was really proud of her and proud of myself for being able to tune into her and let her grow as she's meant to.

I wanted to post this to share with like minded parents, and also to reassure any parents that are in the "am I doing the right thing?" to trust the process and trust your baby's ability to grow with your gentle guidance and challenge!

Throwaway because I’m so ashamed.

I had my first in October. We brought her home and I’ve been absolutely in love with her. We’ve been in a newborn bubble and it’s been the best, although difficult as well. I was being everything for my baby. Feeding her on demand, holding her nearly 24/7 because she wanted me and cried being put down. I love how much she wanted me, but I also began to struggle. I wasn’t getting enough help, sleep, or any time at all to myself. I mean zero. I barely ate any meals and when I did eat, I was holding the baby. It would be days between showers. I had to pee very quickly because the baby would cry instantly. I wasn’t even able to change my clothes or brush my teeth. I couldn’t even step outside unless I had the baby. I can’t describe how much I just wanted to be able to set her down and have a moment to myself. I felt shocked by the sudden complete loss of autonomy and started feeling really depressed and having horrible thoughts (not of hurting my baby or anything, more aimed at myself). My partner works very much and very hard so when he gets to be home I was prioritizing his rest and let him sleep as much as I could. He still helped some but I tried so hard to do it all. Until the other day, everything came to a head. It was late in the evening and I had spent a whole ‘nother day holding and nursing the baby and hearing her cries when I had to pee. My partner was sleeping and had to get up for work soon. I hadn’t eaten and I’d barely had any water. I looked and felt like shit. Something switched in me and I completely lost all of my patience. I had just fed the baby and she was still crying and I just couldn’t bare the thought of latching her again in that moment. It had been five weeks of doing absolutely nothing by myself or for myself. I became desperate to simply even just stand around without holding a baby. I became so frustrated and so mad at myself for feeling that way. So, I set the baby down, my five week old precious baby, and I walked away, leaving her to cry. It was like my brain shut off to everything. I couldn’t gather myself. I couldn’t relax. I listened to my baby cry for what had to be 20-30 minutes and then she stopped. I went to check on her and she just looked numb. Her body was limp and she was just staring into space. She looked so defeated and sad. I immediately started crying and felt like a monster. She started crying again a moment later and I picked her up. Since then, she seems different to me. I feel like she hesitates to cry now. It’s almost like she already thinks no one is coming to help. I’m afraid that her eyes seem distant to me. My partner tried to reassure me that she seems fine and that I should have woken him up. I have tried to be hyper attentive to her since, but I just feel like our bond has changed. I feel like I ruined everything. I haven’t been able to let it go or forgive myself. I’ve cried for three days about this and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get over it. I feel so bad for her. She deserves so much more than me. I can’t believe I let her down within the first 5 weeks of her life. I don’t believe in CIO at all and have been adamantly against it my entire pregnancy. I can’t believe I left her to cry for that long. I can’t believe I let her down. I am so worried that I broke her. She has let me set her down a few times since then and she didn’t cry ): she never allowed that before. Now I find myself missing the way she wouldn’t let me put her down. I am mostly posting this to get it out and honestly I’m hoping that I’ll be shamed because I deserve to be. No other point to this other than learn from my mistake. If you reach the point that I did, just wake up your partner or call someone over to hold your baby. I wish I had never left her alone. I feel so disgusting and so unworthy.

My child is 19 months old. There has been a period when he wanted to fall asleep in his bed, with some patting or touching on our side. But aside from that, he falls asleep in our arms and we move him to the bed. When he as an infant, we rocked him, now we just sit in the chair and he is cuddled in me or my partner. But I'm not sure if that's normal. We are expecting a second baby and I would really like to help my child be more independent in falling asleep. Any help will be appreciated! Thank you!

Recently our baby has started having huuuuge issues with falling asleep with mommy, and almost only being able to fall asleep with me. This is becoming such an issue because my wife feels terrible about it, and we often end up arguing after baby falls asleep as she is both upset, and feels like im not giving her the right support (which i for the record dont know what is right at this time, as i literally onoy need to lay down with baby and he is happy)

Some background info. Baby is 4 months old, and i recently had surgery, so both me and wife have been home since he was born, me on medical leave, and wife on maternity leave. We share almost all responsibilities so its not like one of us only does task A, and the other task B. This ONLY applies at night time. During the day, he falls asleep with her without any issue whatsoever. But night time. Jesus. Always a battle.

At night time we also do EVERYTHING the same. But he starts screaming bloody murder the second he lays down with her. It goes for a good hour sometimes. And all i have to do is pick him up at he shuts his mouth. Wife gets soooo upset that i just have to lift him up. And as mentioned it leads to arguments because "i dont support" her when he is upset, and give pointers or tips or whatever. And i mean, i dont know what to do or say, because i never have these issues. And i as a result dont know how to help her. Which makes me feel like crap too.

Now all of this isnt an issue, i could easily take every evening and do bed time. The issue is i travel a bit for work

My 12mo son is not a good sleeper—for reference, last night we had somewhere around 16 wakes/feeds. He used to be a great eater and would eat anything and a lot of it, but now will hardly touch solids in favour of breastmilk. I know I know, toddlers and pickiness go hand in hand and I was expecting some pickiness to creep in, but basically overnight he went from eating well to having his entire daily food intake be something like some cherry tomatoes, some blueberries, and a few bites of cheese. He just doesn’t want to eat and usually signs for milk the entire meal. We breastfeed on demand still which used to work well and he would still eat meals, but now he’s basically constantly nursing so I can’t exactly blame him for not eating solid food—he’s just never hungry enough. Yesterday we tried some breastfeeding boundaries (no nursing for an hour before mealtimes) which seemed to somewhat help, but then we had a truly horrendous night and he breastfed way more than usual, so now I’ve been hesitant to try it again today in fear that we’ll repeat last night.

On a good night, he’s up every 2 hours with maybe one 3 hour stretch, on a bad one (like last night) it’s much, much more frequent. I lost count, but as I mentioned before, it was somewhere around 16 wakes, which is our worst night yet. We cosleep and the quickest way to get him back to sleep is by nursing, so we do that allll night.

My longest stretch of sleep last night was probably around half an hour and my brain is mush. I can’t go on like this and need help figuring out how to make a change. It seems like the obvious solution to both of these problems is to stop breastfeeding so much, but I just feel caught in this endless loop where I keep giving in because I’m so freaking tired and it’s the fastest way for us to get back to sleep. I don’t want to wean altogether and wish we could still nurse on demand, but that just isn’t working anymore. I need some help figuring out what the best course of action is, and how to go about putting breastfeeding boundaries in place to help support my son’s development with eating/sleeping. I feel so stuck and just don’t know where to go from here, and I’m so beyond tired that I don’t feel capable of doing the hard work to change what we currently have going on.

My 18 mo has to get blood drawn and I'm full of anxiety just thinking about it. Has anyone had to do this? Any advice? I took him in thinking it was just a pin prick to the finger but they said they have to do the traditional through the arm. Even just the flibotomist trying to assess his veins made him have a little meltdown and I decided to talk to the Dr and try again another day. He generally does really well with 'scary things' when I explain what's going to happen beforehand and try to take things at his pace but this is a bit over what I think an 18 mo old could understand. I'm afraid of traumatizing him by basically forcing him to do something that will no doubt be scary and a little painful. Ahh I don't know how to approach this!

The title says it all haha. My toddler has always been a terrible sleeper and I was hoping we'd have turned a corner towards better sleep by now. Nope. She is now unable to stay asleep unless part of her body is draped over the top of me and/or my husband. It is normal AND it is frustrating. Help me remember why I'm doing this!

My wife and I have an almost 1yo who is the love of my life. I enjoy almost every moment with them and one of my greatest joys is supporting their development with new experiences, educational toys etc. We BF and cosleep and I don't want to stop, I love them so much.

We conceived via IVF, and because of the current political climate in the US and in our state, we're not sure how safe our embryos, our pregnancy, or our queer marriage will be. Because of this, we're shifting our conception timeline from around 2yrs to TTC ASAP 😭

Right now, I can't imagine interrupting my LO's life with a second, but I know I want a second baby.

Parents with a ~2yr age gap, please tell me your success stories 🙏

My baby (well, is he still a baby? He just turned a year old) was always bad sleeper ever since he started to roll. And it took me awhile to start and figure out what’s bothering him. And I think I figured it out but it’s a very difficult combination. Firstly we identified an iron deficiency, no problem - been on supplements for a couple of months hopefully it improves. But I don’t think it’s the whole picture. We cosleep on a floor bed and I feed throughout the night.

If he doesn’t get enough space to roll around or his rolling around is somehow obstructed (eg we need to sleep on same bed as my husband now and again, we tried moving to a slightly smaller floor bed, I tried putting small bed guards on the floored) - he wakes up. That’s how we moved to a floor bed in the first place. He’s also sensitive to sound - so I noticed that whenever I walk into the room for the night, even if I’m very quiet. He wakes up. Which makes me think, maybe he should sleep in a separate room. However, he also does need the comfort and cuddles- if he could hold my breast all night long for comfort I think he’d sleep much better, even though my touch can also sometimes wake him up. It he wanted to sleep attached to me all night I honestly wouldn’t mind, except for, he also wants to roll around. It’s like he wants my boob to detach from my body so he could roll around with it 😂😂😂. Basically I think he needs polar opposite things that I just can’t provide. And don’t get me started on trying to figure out if he’s too cold or too hot.

I know babies wake up a lot at night and it’s normal. However I can tell between him waking up for just quick feed and comfort vs him waking up because something bothered him - the latter is usually much louder and frustrated crying that is harder to soothe. Whilst the former is when he barely makes a sound and is quick to fall asleep. And lately, it’s been lots of the former. I really want to make him comfortable but just don’t know how. Anyone had anything similar ?

My daughter is 8 months and breastfeeds all day and night. But I need sleep. I just tried for over 4 hours to get her back to sleep without feeding her and had to finally give up. We have tried bottles and pacifiers and she has never been interested. She is a great weight so she is fine to go throughout the night without feeding.

We co sleep and would like to continue doing that. I haven’t found any sleeping training methods that don’t require crying it out. So if anyone has been successful please give me all the advice. Because I need some sleep!!

Edit: I don’t mind if she still wakes up for a feeding once or twice, I just want to cut night feedings as much as possible so that hopefully soonish she will sleep longer stretches. My son didn’t sleep all the way through the night until 18months when he naturally started weaning himself. So just trying to see if we can get better nights sleep sooner!

Hiya, My baby is 9.5 months and has been a pretty bad sleeper since 3.5 months. Our baselines that whole time has been wake up every 2 hours overnight, with occasionally slightly longer stretches and then many weeks of waking more frequently. Occasionally he also wakes up in the middle of the night and won't go back to sleep for about 1.5 hours and is wide awake, so I let him play on the floor while I lie down and try not to cry 🫠

Nap wise I've always just tried to follow his tired cues and he has always gone down pretty easily. He's on 2 naps a day at the moment. He will sleep in the day often for quite awhile unless I wake him. When I put him down has been fairly consistent, but how long he sleeps has varied quite a lot.

I've never been very organised with tracking everything (I worry it will cause me more stress than it's worth) and have mostly just been practicing radical acceptance and going with the faith that it will get better by itself when he's ready!

He's breast feed and I pretty much feed to sleep for every nap and wake up. I can occasionally just hold and rock him or my husband used to be able to settle him back. Recently he's definitely not as keen on my husband settling him and will cry and look around for me. We've never done any form of sleep training and have always responded to him as quickly as we can.

Sorry this is so long! I'm just feeling so burnt out and defeated. I think one reason why it's hitting extra hard at the moment is some seriously hard nights, teamed with my mum telling me it won't be better till I leave him to scream! I'm finding her lack of support and push for sleep training really tough.

Thanks for any advice or support given!

Title basically explains the gist of where I am at. We are on week 4 of sleepless nights, and honestly at this point I’m just looking for some support and hope that we will come out of this phase.

I’m a FTM, and my son has never been a great sleeper. He has had his moments where he has slept through the night, or done longer stretches, but 95% of the time he wants to nurse back to sleep (or rocked by Dad).

I need to give myself a little grace because during these past 4 weeks a lot has been going on for him. Teething (but I can’t be for sure because he won’t let me look inside his mouth), bad cold with congestion that just won’t go away, and learning to walk independently. So I know buddy is going through it, but most nights look like this…

• Go to bed between 7-8pm (nurse to sleep)
• Wakes up 2-3hrs later, crying and upset
• Nursed back to sleep
• Then we either rinse and repeat anywhere from 2-3 more times OR, he does his absolute favourite which is just being awake anywhere from 2-4 hrs 🫠
• Waking up early (but tired) at 5:30am

Like I know he has always been low sleep needs, but I swear he gets on average the same amount of sleep as some adults?!

Our nights seem to be better if we can do 2 naps, but getting him down for the second nap is nearly impossible!!! Even trying for a contact nap or car ride rarely work.

He is a happy boy during the day, a little clingy to me but he always has been and we work through that, but he loves playing and exploring. This kid NEVER shows when he is tired until it is too late.

So all of this to say…like is this all normal?! I read through so many forums on here and see people in similar situations, but I’ve convinced myself that clearly I am the one wronging him and that I just haven’t done something right. I beat myself up over the fact that he cannot soothe himself to sleep, like I’ve faulted him in that area, but his crying is so intense, I can’t take it. I am truly happy to be his safe space, but this is slowly just eating away at my sanity.

Thanks for listening and for any support/advice you can share. Even if it’s a bunch of you saying you’re in the same boat, it helps a ton. ❤️

Hi all! ♥️ I have a an almost 3yo and a 14 month old, and just found out I'm pregnant yesterday. I'm heartbroken. Our first two are spaced out 20 months intentionally, but we said we'd never do that age gap again because we felt like we took our oldest's "babyhood" away from him. Well, we did it again... I was tracking all the things, but it still happened. There are lots of posts on Reddit about having 3 littles, or having another sooner than expected, but no one talks about the heartbreak of making your baby grow up. I already feel so guilty for #2 😩 and she has some delays, so she acts like a 10 month old, so it makes her feel even younger to us. We wanted more, but not for a while.. we had so many plans for next summer, and now I'm due in July and I feel like it's all wrecked and I've taken so much away from my "older" two. Can anyone give me hope? (Termination is absolutely not an option for us.)