/r/BabyBumps

Photograph via snooOG

A place for pregnant redditors, those who have been pregnant, those who wish to be in the future, and anyone who supports them. Not the place for bump or ultrasound pics, sorry!

All Bump Photos belong in our Stickied Daily Thread

All Ultrasound/Announcement Photos belong in our Stickied Weekly Thread

All link posts must include content from the OP in the form of a comment. Pictures or links posted without content will be removed.

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About /r/BabyBumps

A place for pregnant redditors, those who have been pregnant, those who wish to be in the future, and anyone who supports them. A place to ask and answer questions all related to pregnancy. A great place to come for post-partum depression, breast or formula feeding issues, and body image. It's one of the biggest changes of your life and we're all here to support one another!

/r/BabyBumps

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1

What did you do for muscle pain?

I think I slept weird and I’ve injured my neck I/shoulder. Usually would take some anti-inflammatory medication but not an option at this point. It’s been a week and the pain is still excruciating. I can barely sit at my desk and it’s radiating down my arm and into my hand.

Has anyone experienced this before? If so, what did you do to help it? How long did it take to go away? I also have an 18 month old and carrying her etc is not helping.

0 Comments
2024/12/13
05:08 UTC

1

Skip Hop changing pad set-up

Tl;dr: Skip to the bottom for a non hemnes ikea dresser option for the Skip Hop changing pad.

After buying all of our nursery furniture and setting up the nursery, I went to put my Skip Hop changing pad on the changing table and it didn't fit. I was devasted (and tired, and hormonal) and literally cried over it. The solution was to utilize the Skip Hop in the living room on the main level since we'd spend more time there anyway and get a basic pad for the nursery to use at bath/bed time, so then came looking for something deep enough to hold the Skip Hop without being ugly or a literal dresser/changing table while also being affordable.

Nearly every post I could find on this sub suggested the Hemnes Ikea dresser. I tried searching for cabinets, dining room buffets, kids toy storage shelves, bookshelves, literally ANYTHING that had 19-20 inches of depth for the extra wide pad. After literal weeks, I found a "convertible bookshelf changing table" on Amazon that allows you to put it together with or without the side walls of the changing pad box so that you can use it as a changing station or a normal piece of furniture. With the walls, the Skip hop doesn't fit, but without the walls it's the right size (and a normal dresser doesn't have walls for the changing pad, so I figure it's fine).

It came in yesterday, I put it together, and it's literally perfect. The only part of the pad that can be considered hanging off is the toy bar which hangs off the back and is against the wall since the bookshelf isn't perfectly flush to the wall due to my baseboards, so it isn't noticeable at all. It checks all my boxes: cute enough and matches my living room furniture, not a dresser, fits the skip hop perfectly, and I only paid $150 for it on an Amazon sale (normally $175 which was still in my budget). I also really like that I can use it as a normal, not baby related, piece of furniture in the future once my girl is potty trained. I envision it being a good record player/music station as we're music people.

I couldn't get the link to copy, but on Amazon it's the Milliard Nursery Dresser and Baby Changing Table with Storage & White Modern Diaper Changing Station, Includes Spacious Drawer and Shelves, 18 x 14.5 x 70 inches. I hope this saves another mom who's looking for a similar solution!

0 Comments
2024/12/13
03:45 UTC

1

How did you feel during early pregnancy?

Me (36F) and my fiancee (43M) decided to start trying for a baby, mainly because of my age. I'm a week late, and had some light spotting on what should've been my first day on my period. I took a pregnancy test later that day but it showed negative. Might be too early. I'm retesting Saturday... Meanwhile I feel a slight pressure in my lower abdomen, been having some bouts of nausea and sore breasts. Today I also noticed more vaginal discharge than usual, clear and sometimes slightly milky looking.

I'm trying to not get my hopes up, due to a previous miscarriage and some health issues I had in my mid-twenties.... But what do you guys think? Also, I have an appointment setup with my doctor on the 26th. Just a regular checkup, but I'm going to have him test too.

2 Comments
2024/12/13
04:49 UTC

1

Nursing bralette recs

I don’t love the snap nursing bras. I’m a lot bigger than I was pre pregnancy, but still not huge. I was an xs now Prob a medium or large in bralette size. Does anyone have a bralette they recommend or love for breast feeding? (Also that won’t break the bank!?) there’s some that are like $40/ 1… I can’t do that 😅

1 Comment
2024/12/13
04:45 UTC

26

My daughter’s name came to me in my dream.

Currently 22 weeks pregnant with a girl and me and my husband haven’t discussed names yet. We had a difficult and worrisome first half of pregnancy when they found an increased NT at the 12 week scan but everything has come back completely normal (scans and genetic testing) and I feel like I can finally breath and start to enjoy my pregnancy.

Last night I had a weird dream that we named our daughter the same name as my friends daughter and I was yelling at my husband “how could you let me name her the same name?!” Then in the dream I said, “ok, no problem we will just call her by her middle name.” And I asked my husband what her middle name was and he said Emilia. Honest to god, this name has never crossed my mind and was never even a thought. I also remember very specifically the name starting with an E and not an A.

I think I’ll name my daughter Emilia 🥰

P.S. I NEVER REMEBER MY DREAMS WHEN I WAKE UP.

7 Comments
2024/12/13
04:17 UTC

2

Pooping….. a lot

I’m a FTM, and I’ve been dealing with chronic constipation…. Even prior to pregnancy. However, I’m almost 36 weeks and I’ve been pooping a lot over the last 48 hours. It’s not diarrhea, so I am not all that concerned, but then again I went 5x yesterday and 3x today. I’m more concerned this could be a sign of early labor. My back has been hurting today and I feel pretty lethargic, but other than that no other issues. Can anyone else relate?

5 Comments
2024/12/13
04:13 UTC

2

Telling Friends I’m Pregnant

My husband and I are about 8 weeks along and are over the moon for our little duckling! We told my parents over thanksgiving as my mother would catch on when I was drinking wine with her or eating some of my favorite foods! My parents, grandparents, and brother were over the moon excited; and it was so much fun sharing with them. Now however, I don’t want to tell anyone else. My husband wants to tell his parents/siblings at Christmas; and while I really don’t want to I won’t take that away from him. However, I don’t want to tell friends. Is this normal? A close girlfriend of mine wants to make plans for this weekend with another friend; and I’ve kind of lied and said that I was busy with the holidays; and might not be able to make it . But more it’s just I don’t want to tell them I’m pregnant. And I kind of feel bad about it. Sorry if this is rambling but basically I don’t want to tell anyone else; and I don’t know how I should be feeling about it?

3 Comments
2024/12/13
04:11 UTC

1

Do babies in the womb stop growing around 37 weeks?

So I'm now 39 weeks, just been waiting for baby boy to finally come, and went to OB appointment earlier today. Throughout my pregnancy, especially around 34 weeks, my fundal and baby weight were both measuring a week ahead. Until 2 weeks ago, at 37 weeks, baby was a week ahead in measurement. However, during appointment today, OB said baby is the same weight as the week before and my fundal height is 37inches even when it was at 38inches last week. I might be overthinking and just over worrying myself but could it just be that baby has dropped and the measurements are all off? Or is this just normal, considering baby is full term and there's really no need for him to keep growing aside maybe from fattening up?

1 Comment
2024/12/13
03:54 UTC

0

Ob said the most useless thing today.

So I’ve gained a lot of weight during this pregnancy, almost 40 pounds. I was already overweight to begin with because I was coming off of a medication and it made me insatiably hungry. I’m extremely thirsty all the time and I believe it’s because I’m anemic and so I need more water to keep enough oxygen through my body. The reason that has a part to play in the extreme weight gain, I feel, is because when I’m thirsty I desperately crave anything and everything to eat and start binging until I get sick. The problem is that the more water I drink, especially at night, which is when I have the urge to eat so much, I end up waking up every 20-40 minutes to go pee. And it sucks, because then I get no sleep. So then I opt out of drinking so much water. It’s a vicious cycle. Anyways, I asked one of my ob providers about what would be the best course of action and she gave me the most read out weight management dialogue ever. She said, “you’ve already gained the weight you were supposed to during this pregnancy so you really should be managing your weight from this point forward by watching what you’re eating and eating more fruits and vegetables. This puts you at risk for diabetes, hypertension, and things of that nature.” I’m paraphrasing a bit but that was the gist of it. It was just incredibly unhelpful; I wasn’t told anything I didn’t already know. I guess I’m seeking some insight on this. I can’t decide if I should just drink more water at night to stop the incessant eating or just continue to cut back on water at night to get whatever sleep I can with the downside of eating upwards of 3000 calories a day.

Sorry I know this is long but another option is going with the latter, and just waiting until after I give birth to stop the overconsumption, where I need less water and have more room in my bladder.

13 Comments
2024/12/13
03:45 UTC

1

Baby name for siblings Maeve and Oliver

Hello! I am expecting a baby girl and already have one boy and one girl, Maeve and Oliver. I’m having a very tough time deciding on a name for this baby, because my husband and I are having a tough time. So far we really like Emmy and Ellie and we both agree on these two names. We also like Eliana, but do not feel sure on anything yet. Hoping to get some suggestions for names that go with siblings Maeve and Oliver. Thank you!!☺️

2 Comments
2024/12/13
03:44 UTC

0

How does pumping works?

I’m made a decision not to breastfeed for strong personal reasons and pump instead and feed via bottle. How does it work at the hospital after delivery with initial feeding? All books say bring your bottles and formula, but I’m trying to pump should I bring pump and formula?

2 Comments
2024/12/13
03:44 UTC

2

Baby’s kidneys

At my last two ultrasounds, the baby's kidney was dilated so I go every 4 weeks. Today, the kidney was no longer dilated.. Today's ultrasound demonstrated a cyst on right fetal kidney with mild hydroureter dilation.

Has anyone ever dealt with this and what was the outcome? 28 weeks!

2 Comments
2024/12/13
03:38 UTC

3

My fellow SPD girls. How are you coping?

Today I was diagnosed with symphysis pubic dysfunction and because it’s the holiday season, all of the physiotherapists in my small rural town are on holidays or fully booked. So guess who gets to walk around with a cane for the next 6-8 weeks! 🤪 How are the rest of you SPD girls holding up? I’m miserable but thankful to finally know what’s wrong so that I can avoid triggers / use my cane to get out of the car / bed easily.

14 Comments
2024/12/13
03:34 UTC

38

Graduated at 34+6!

Had my son today at 34 weeks and 6 days after a scheduled c-section turned induction turned back into a c-section!

C section was scheduled early due to rising fetal anemia and him being frank breech, but after only a day of spinning babies stretches, I showed up to my c section and he had turned head down! So we converted to an induction. He tolerated 21 hours of pitocin-induced labor, including a cooks catheter, but after a steep deceleration in his heart rate and my stalling out at 4 cm after 8 hours, I decided to go back to our original plan and do the c-section. It was an urgent, but not emergent, situation; still a bit scary, but I was glad I had a say in the final outcome.

Meeting my baby boy was the most incredible moment of my life. I thought I knew love at first sight when I met my husband, but it was NOTHING compared to meeting my baby. I am so in awe of him.

He was an IUGR baby and was born small, at 3 lbs 13 oz, but he came out with a VERY healthy set of lungs and is doing incredible in the nicu. He already has his sucking reflex and is tolerating all the monitoring well, they just have him under lights to prevent jaundice and are essentially treating him as a feeder/grower, though they’re still watching for anemia.

I have never been so happy and grateful in my life.

3 Comments
2024/12/13
03:10 UTC

1

Late Dec or early Jan Baby but 0 deductible has been made

Hi,

My due date is January 7, and I wasn’t planning on scheduling an induction before the new year since I haven’t met my deductible (all visits so far have been fully covered under my plan).

However, I had to go to the hospital two weeks ago for cramps and contractions. Thinking the bill would be high, plus reading about the benefits of inducing at 39 weeks and the tax credit, we scheduled an induction with my OB for New Year’s Eve. The clinic assured us that as long as the baby is born on December 31, all services and follow-ups would be billed under the 2024 calendar year.

Today, I called Cigna, and they said this isn’t true. They explained that any services received in 2025 would count toward the 2025 deductible, regardless of when the baby is born.

Additionally, I just found out the hospital visit two weeks ago was billed as a copay, only applying $250 toward my $3,000 deductible. So I’m currently at $250 out of $3,000 for 2024.

I’m really worried about ending up paying two deductibles. Please give me some advise.

1 Comment
2024/12/13
02:26 UTC

1

Learned some news..

Possible trigger warning. Baby with TOF

Hi mama's. We found out at our 20 week ultrasound that our baby boy has TOF (tetrology of fallot). Being now 29 weeks along. And having multiple appts explaining the condition and feeling confident that our baby will be in good hands and our docs deal with this heart condition often, it's nothing new for them. We got a tour of the nicu and where we would be staying during baby's transition into the world and determining if he will need heart surgery right away or sometime 6 months down the road after he is earth side, walking past the rooms with all the Nicu babies in there made me lose my breathe in realizing that this will be our life in about 10 weeks... how different it will be compared to our first.. when he needs surgery... how breast feeding will go this time around with everything going on... the realization that we will only have a couple minutes with him before they take him up to nicu to get necessary test and an Echo done on his heart... knowing that I'll be stuck in a recovery room away from him (we are having a c section, so ill have to be in recovery for an hour or 2 before they move me to our room). My husband will be able to go to nicu with him, so at least he will be there for him.... but how helpless I already feel not being able to be there for him. Man this sucks.

On a day to day I am fine. And my logical brain knows, and fully believes that my baby will be fine, babies with TOF go on to lead normal lives and are fully functioning depending on the case. And our case, with everything they're seeing he will be born, with full color, no blue which is great they've also told us how things can change once out of the womb which is completely understandable. But overall, given the situation we have a best case scenario as of now.

My emotional brain when I let that take over... God, scares the ever loving shit out of me. My thoughts go from bad to worse. And its always bad after an appt cause you always get a nurse or two that talk to you as if your baby is dying and their walking on eggshells and it drives me insane. As more weeks go by I continue to get a little more worried. He is safe and sound here in my belly right now. But soon he will have to do all the breathing on his own, and depending on how he handles it will decide on when he needs the surgery.

There is alot of unknown until he arrives, it's kind of like a we have a plan, but we have to wait and see how things go once he's here on how that plan will unfold exactly. I love feeling his baby kicks and I can't wait to meet him, but please baby boy take your time.

Not sure what I'm looking for here other than to just get it all off my chest. If you made it this far thanks for reading. If you have an positive experiences with or want to share your own worries, I appreciate it and im here. ❤️

0 Comments
2024/12/13
01:34 UTC

1

How long did it take you to conceive?

I’m in my mid 20s, been on the pill since I was 18 due to painful periods and then just stayed on it as I became sexually active. I’m just getting off the pill this week. And my periods were always regular on and off BC.

I had one early loss three years ago while on the pill. I wasn’t trying then and haven’t tried since then. But I worry because infertility is a consistent thing on my dads side of the family. My dad and two paternal aunts struggled to get pregnant with all of their children. My moms side however is overly fertile ( I have two cousins the were born after a vasectomy AND tube tying!). So maybe it’ll balance out?

I’m just starting out on this journey and looking fore some insight from those who may have been in similar situations.

Thanks everyone!

50 Comments
2024/12/13
02:52 UTC

1

Should I get a Costco membership?

I am 5 minutes from a Walmart and typically shop there. I am further away from a Costco.

People are always raving about how cheap Kirkland formula is. Costco won't tell me how much the Kirkland brand formula is without buying a membership because it is a members-only item. This is the only reason why I would purchase a membership rather than simply buying formula at Walmart. Maybe diapers, but I am trying to get cloth diapering to work. We will see.

Is there that much of a price difference on store-brand formula at Costco compared to other stores as such that it would be worth it to get a membership?

28 Comments
2024/12/13
02:49 UTC

2

Weird Sensory Aversions?

Im currently 12w & the last few weeks I’ve been having such weird sensory aversions to the point I throw up. Not even just like aversions to certain foods or smells, but physical feelings. If I feel a hair in my mouth, I will immediately gag until I can pull it out of my mouth. (I have lots of animals lol so this happens a lot 🥴). I also have literally thrown up from the feeling of a necklace being too tight, from feeling too cold suddenly from walking out of my car (like.. what???) or from a shirt feeling too tight on my neck.

It like when I do have these weird sensory aversions, especially the ones having to do with my neck, I start to notice my gag reflux more & then start to feel…. Claustrophobic? Then I throw up.

It’s seriously like the weirdest thing. I’ve never heard of this happening to anyone else whole pregnant! Has anyone experienced this or anything similar? Please someone make me feel more normal 😂

1 Comment
2024/12/13
02:49 UTC

0

SoCal moms - baby in winter question

Hi all, FTM here. Due in April and currently sitting in Southern California "freezing" at 53F, it's been as low as 42F overnight.

For those who know, know. This is a "dry" cold and feels colder than other places with more humidity in the air at the same temperature. This is compounded by the fact that a lot of our housing is not built to retain heat like those up in colder climates. It's only newer buildings that have central heat, most places have a single wall heater in a central location.

On to my question, how much do I need to worry about my baby's tempurature at night once they are on the outside next winter?

Will a space heater be enough in their room to keep the tempurature level overnight?

Am I being overworried?

0 Comments
2024/12/13
02:38 UTC

0

Do you have to legally do the glucose test in Australia?

Does anyone here know if you legally have to have the glucose test in Australia, I am 27 weeks pregnant, I have uncontrolled seizures multiple times every day still & diagnosed with epilepsy when younger. Last time it caused them to get worse & I ended up in hospital. I know it’s good to do it but just anxious.

7 Comments
2024/12/13
02:21 UTC

1

Old belly button piercing starting to hurt

So I had my belly button pierced years ago. It didn't go well. The guy told me I didn't have the right anatomy for it but I wanted it anyway. It stared rejecting so I took it out. The scar is starting to hurt and itch and be rather uncomfortable and I don't know what to do about it. I've been putting lotion on my belly but it's not really helping. Im 28w tomorrow so I still have a while to go. Any help appreciated before I claw my belly button off 😂😭

2 Comments
2024/12/13
02:08 UTC

1

Intense Cramps

I’m 4+6 today. I’ve noticed I have cramping if my bladder gets full and occasionally when i pass a bowel movement. Day before yesterday I sat down to use the bathroom and had a normal bowel movement, but I did feel like there was more in there so I was straining some. Once I finished I started having very intense cramping. It was worse than any period cramps I’ve had before and I thought I would have to go to the hospital but after like 5 minutes the cramping completely stopped.

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I’m hoping the bowel movement just put too much pressure on my uterus for a minute but it’s worried me ever since. There was no blood, no back pain, and it wasn’t one sided.

4 Comments
2024/12/13
02:02 UTC

1

I hate his my body looks and feels 😭

I am still in my first trimester, baby is still SO SMALL.

I've been eating healthier because a) I've been trying to get all the right nutrients in for baby, and b) sweets and junk food and fast food just exacerbate my "morning" sickness.

On top of eating healthier, I'm eating less because it's hard to keep anything down and I don't have much of an appetite. I am forcing myself to eat as much as I am, to be healthy for the baby.

Despite eating less and eating healthier, I have gained a significant amount of weight.. I've already outgrown all of my non-stretchy pants and form fitting blouses, and it's visibly noticeable.

I am guessing it must be hormonal. 🤷‍♀️

I am physically uncomfortable, and I'm concerned with how much more weight is to come considering how rapid this has been so far.

I have a doctor's appointment next Wednesday so I'm going to bring it up at that time, but I just need to have a little vent/cry.

Anyone else dealt with this? Any insight, words of wisdom or advice? (As mentioned, I will be discussing with my Dr, so not looking for actual medical advice)

4 Comments
2024/12/13
01:55 UTC

1

96th percentile

I'm currently 30 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and he's in the 96th percentile, likely due to gestational diabetes. I'm taking the three-hour test next week and have completely changed my diet since receiving this news. I'm really scared about giving birth, particularly worried about him getting stuck or tearing me to oblivion. Do you think it would be reasonable to request a scheduled C-section, or am I overreacting?

1 Comment
2024/12/13
01:25 UTC

1

I Don’t Know What To Do! - I’m at my limit.

I’m starting to get really concerned and overwhelmed. I’m 17 weeks pregnant and have had headaches every single day since week 2. Nonstop. My doctor told me I could take Tylenol, so I’ve been taking Extra Strength during the day and Tylenol PM at night every day. But I’ve read that using Tylenol daily might not be safe for the baby, and I’m terrified I’m causing harm.

My blood pressure is normal, and I’ve never had migraines before. I even monitored my glucose for two weeks to rule that out—some post-meal spikes were a little high but nothing outside the normal range. Yet, nothing I do seems to help. The doctor hoped the headaches would ease after the first trimester, but here I am, and they’re just as bad.

On top of that, my back pain, sciatica, and pinched nerves are unbearable. I can’t sleep on my sides (too painful), I obviously can’t sleep on my back or stomach, and I wake up every night around 2-4 AM despite taking Tylenol PM. The lack of sleep just makes my headaches worse. I put heating pads to no avail. I feel like I’m stuck in a vicious cycle, and it’s wearing me down.

I finally broke down yesterday because I feel so incapacitated. I’m not even halfway through this pregnancy, and I’ve heard it gets harder from here. I don’t know how I’ll manage if this continues.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? What triggered your headaches during pregnancy? Did anything actually help—especially without medication? And how did you manage the side/back pain and lack of sleep?

I’m desperate for ideas or even just to know I’m not alone.

Edit: Ive also taken Magnesium, B12 and excedrin w/ caffeine per my doctor’s recommendation. To sleep I’ve tried heating pads, prenatal massages, and Im getting a new pregnancy pillow soon. But so far everything has brought, maybe, a temporary relief if so.

11 Comments
2024/12/13
01:21 UTC

1

What would you do? Induction/membrane sweep at 37 weeks

I have to be induced at 37 weeks, latest is 38 weeks due to hypertension. With my first, he was SGA and my BP increased to 140/90 consistently the last few weeks. This time I opted to go on medication to control my BP which automatically made me high risk. It has increased but not to dangerous levels, but they’d like to induce anyway since it can quickly turn

Baby looks healthy at the 75th percentile, but I was told at my last visit that I likely wouldn’t make my final visit on the 31st because they should induce me before then, starting on the 27th. So I made an apt on the 27th for a membrane sweep but not sure if this is a good idea? They said I can opt to cancel and just go with the induction when they call, but I kind of want to TRY kickstarting labor before. Pitocin was a bear and very traumatic with my first so I’d like to maybe try avoiding it, but maybe I should just let it be and not try the sweep?

Also I’m not even sure what the success rate would be for a membrane sweep at 37 weeks exactly. I had it at 39 and 40 weeks with my first and the second time took, but that’s a whole extra 3 weeks that I won’t have this time. Thoughts, advice, own experiences?

6 Comments
2024/12/13
00:52 UTC

3

Vulvar varicosities - tips?

Fun little thing I discovered at only 25 weeks! 😕

Lots of soreness and fullness and going to the bathroom sucks.

I got the v-band thing which helps but obviously not wearable to the office.

Any suggestions…? 14 more weeks sounds long when it felt so short?!

0 Comments
2024/12/13
00:52 UTC

12

3rd Trimester Tips!

Hi ladies, I'm 32 weeks pregnant and havebt a hard time figuring out what I need and what to do before my baby comes. I've got plenty of items but I know I'm missing many things. I've looked on Pinterest for baby checklists but there's so many I just get overwhelmed and stop looking. I'm also wondering what lactation food items that I could eat that actually work? This is my first baby and I feel so unprepared. What's are some items that are must haves for baby and postpartum? Also how many of each item should I get like baby Tylenol, gas drops, onesies, etc? Any advice I'd greatly appreciate, sorry for sounding like such a noob! Thank you 🩷

4 Comments
2024/12/13
00:51 UTC

6

Rant about my husband.. i’m at a loss please advise

I have to say the obligatory (and true) precursor to this, that I love my husband more than anything and that’s part of what makes having negative feelings toward him so hard.

My husband has been struggling with his health the last two years or so. Mental health - he has anxiety and depression which he is on medication for. Physically, he struggles with migraines from past head trauma and that comes with dizziness, ears ringing, other similar symptoms. When he had. headache he is unable to basically do anything and has to lay in the dark with no sound. This isn’t new to me because my dad struggled with this growing up so I have a soft spot and a lot of sympathy for migraines etc.

I too have struggled with my health for almost as long as I can remember, but particularly in the last several years having thyroid problems, fibromyalgia, mental health anxiety/depression just to name a few.

Here’s where things really frustrate me. I do almost everything I can to help my body stay healthy (yes i do occasionally have sweets or a netflix day here and there but I really put in effort to stay healthy.) I make doctors appointments on time, as soon as I have symptoms that are reoccurring, or feel something is wrong.

My husband on the other hand, barely makes appointments/does anything to help himself. I have offered to do them for him and he won’t let me. He has been having migraines for two years and been to two appointments about it. His therapist has extensively encouraged him to see someone for his head trauma because it’s been severe in the past which is why he has so many issues. I have begged and pleaded him to do something about it but he always says he’s going to and almost never does. He also has problems with his back that, again he never makes an appointment for. The one appointment he did have he found out he has degenerative disc disease and they asked him to do more imaging, PT, and more appts but he never went back. He never sleeps well so he did a sleep study (i made it for him without his approval bc I was desperate) and they asked him to do a second one that is more involved because he has a sleep study disorder they just do not know which one yet. It’s been over a year since any of those appointments.

Lately he’s been having to sleep the whole night when he gets home from work, and on the weekends can barely help because he says his head hurts.

Aside from not making appointments, he can’t workout because of his back (and shoulder problems too) and can’t run because of his head injuries. I’ve asked him to try swimming. He also doesn’t eat well. Ever since we met (8 years ago) he does not eat fruit or vegetables. He basically eats all junk food. I have begged him so many times, even cried asking him to eat healthy because I want him healthy for our family long term. He promised me when we had a baby he would eat healthy but he didn’t follow through. Now we are on our second pregnancy.

It’s extremely hard to have sympathy after years of the same reoccurring problems and him doing almost nothing about it. I’ve begged him to let me make the appointment, attend the appointments, even set reminders for him. I don’t know how to continue living this way. Pregnancy is starting to take its toll on my body and I can’t imagine the stress of a newborn and a 2 year old without his help the way I always envisioned.

I’m starting to have so much resentment. I just don’t know what to do anymore and I’m so defeated. Please give me advice. I’m begging.

2 Comments
2024/12/12
23:41 UTC

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