This sub has become inundated with trolls in the past 6 months. They make deliberately provocative posts and comments containing dog whistles and inflammatory rhetoric (racist/sexist/etc). Please stop engaging with them and report them. This is an example of a troll post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Parenting/comments/1ihjtkg/i_36f_do_not_want_my_father_60m_around_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Their posts are designed to garner high engagement, so they are simplistic with no real tension or actual conflict. It will be a completely one-sided conflict with which they are requesting help: my racist grandfather keeps calling my husband and baby derogatory names. Every time we visit, he calls them sandn**ggers, and tells my husband to go back to where he came from. I don’t know what I should do! What should I say to him?

The answer here is so obvious, and posts like this will have hundreds of responses, all with varying shades of the same message: cut the racist bastard off!

As a community, we need to stop engaging these posts. We need to be more skeptical and apply more critical thinking to our community. These trolls are inundating our parenting subs to divide, disrupt, and create chaos.

Please think more critically when you see these kinds of posts or comments in this sub. It is destroying this community, which is a vital lifeline for many parents. I am asking everyone to please check post histories when you see inflammatory language. If it is a new user, or someone that has never posted in pregnancy or parenting subs, think critically about the veracity of the post. Thanks.

I don't post on this website, so I made an account just for this. I will be deleting the post after getting some opinions or coming to a decision myself. I just don't have anyone to ask about it.

TLDR at bottom because this is long.

I have an 11 year old daughter who is almost 12. I don't think I'm too strict, and have always felt like we had a good relationship. All she has to do each day in order to get what she wants (video games, TV) is to be kind and respectful, do one chore, and finish her schoolwork. If she does have bad behavior, taking electronics away or grounding her has worked in the past.

She does school at home on a computer. She has her first phone now, and I got it because she is too old for the local daycare centers and has to stay home for 2-3 hours twice a week while I'm at school. (Her phone is set up to not allow new apps to install and most apps require my password to be used, so that she isn't playing around during school.) She also has her own game systems (PS4, Switch, DS), laptop, and TV.

The disrespectful behavior in particular that I'm having trouble with began when she started doing other things during school time, such as using YouTube or cheating on quizzes. I blocked YouTube for her laptop, and talked to her about the cheating. However, the behavior continued and escalated into the following:

• One night, I found her laptop under her pillow and plugged in. This was a big deal, since I had talked to her many times about properly handling laptops, overheating, and fire hazards. It wasn't supposed to be in her room at all, let alone at night when she should have been asleep. She had been watching a YouTube channel called "The Besties." (It's grown women acting like little girls. I consider it very weird.)
• A different day, she stole one of my laptops instead. She had it in her room again.
• Eventually I found out that she had been calling phone numbers displayed in the YouTube channel's videos, from when the creators pretend to be calling "random scary numbers."
• I have some old phones of mine, and one still works. I keep them in a file cabinet located in my closet. She is not allowed in the file cabinet at all. I found one night that she had my old phone hidden under her TV stand, as well as a phone charger stolen from my purse. She had been looking up things to buy, including a new phone and a "possessed doll." She was looking for "The Besties" on every single site, sometimes looking for them by their full names. She found their TikTok (I don't use it and don't allow her to either), Roblox, YouTube, and other accounts. She posted comments on every video, joined live chats, and even tried to join a Roblox game with them. She didn't look at any other users or channels.
• Finally, I came home from school early today and found her using my computer and going through my purse. She was watching that same YouTube channel.

Clearly, the usual discipline is not working right now. Each time she was caught, she would just try to lie first, then get angry at me for finding out. She didn't express any guilt or apologize. She doesn't seem to care what I say. The only insight I managed to get out of her is that she's mad at me for not letting her do what she has seen other kids doing. (Using the internet any time they want, TikTok, YouTube, live chatting, etc.)

This obsession over one channel feels like it came out of nowhere, and I don't get it. She seems to be willing to do anything to access this YouTube channel during times when I am either sleeping or not home. She has never tried to watch it during times when I have allowed her to use YouTube. (Whenever she has used the site in front of me, she has only watched videos of gameplay, cooking, art, and stuff about her favorite TV shows.)

I have removed every device that isn't necessary and locked it up. I have passwords on my computer and school laptop. I don't think there is anything left that she can access. Being more passive and allowing her free access to the internet is not an option. I believe internet safety is extremely important. I don't have a problem with her using it in an area where I can see her, like the living room, but I will not allow her to have it in her room.

TLDR: 11 year old taking laptops and phones from mom's room without permission to watch YouTube channel "The Besties" at night. Grounding, discussion, and removing priveleges not working.

Thinking about getting a Dalmatian puppy, but I’m trying to be realistic and make sure I can manage it all. I’ve got a 5-month-old baby, I’m taking one college class, and I’m also planning to hit the gym regularly. I know Dalmatians are high-energy and need a lot of attention and training. My husband can help with the baby while I go to the gym, and I plan to walk the puppy before and after work. I’m also considering getting some help with training. For those of you who’ve been in a similar situation, how did you balance it all? Any advice or reality checks are welcome!

My kids (13M,M,F) have been on Reddit for a little while. I'm new to Reddit and after exploring it a bit I'm not comfortable with my kids being on here. I don't feel right just taking it away, so at the moment I'm going through their accounts with them and going having them leave subs that don't seem good for them, and I'm going to join the ones they stay in. I'm also having them go through their old posts and comments and checking dms. Does this seem like a good compromise that would keep them safe? I would like some advice and suggestions on keeping them safe on here. Thanks in advance.

I feel like I’m losing my dang mind some days trying to figure out how to parent my three girls. My oldest is 4, my middle is 2, and my youngest is 3 months. My 4 and 2 year old have VERY different personalities and I struggle so bad with figuring out how to discipline them in a way that works for me and for them and is effective. They have no ability to listen (thanks to dad and I passing on our ADHD traits ha) and my oldest just talks NON STOP, which I would never change, but sometimes it’s just too much! I’m overstimulated constantly, and trying to regulate myself plus regulate three littles is dang near impossible, legit going insane I feel like 😵‍💫. Tell me I’m not alone in this, I am feeling so inadequate as a mom most days and like I’m failing them somehow. I’m a stay at home mom and think I need more structure but don’t know how to implement it. My 2 year old is a menace to society and becomes Miss destructo when she’s tired, upset, or bored. I can’t do anything arts and crafts related with the older two because my two year old will break the colored pencils, eat crayons, or lick markers. She would also try to eat beads if we did anything like that. So trying to do fun structured activities that my 4 year old loves is nearly impossible…sorry that this is a long ranty post but I just need some advice, solidarity, anything really…if you read all of this, thanks for listening ♥️

My child and my partner got along at first, she absolutely adored them and wanted to play with them all the time and was always affectionate towards them.

My partner got a job at my old workplace a few months back after they got laid off from a previous job, the only shift available was evening which went from early in the afternoon to late at night. Their relationship suddenly shifted and it continued going south. She straight up said she didnt like them today and didn’t want to be around them. She’s been very hot and cold with them since they moved onto a different job with more flexible shifts so they could be around them more. One day she adores them and is drawing pictures of them holding hands and then the next she wants nothing to do with them and acts like she hates them. She doesn’t even want to hold their hand anymore when she walks with them. When I try to talk with her about it, she didn’t have any explanation, just that she didn’t like them. She’s always very specific about how she feels about things.

My partner has always treated her very kindly and always includes her in everything, they love her so much and treat her like their own and they are very upset about this. Is it possible that working evening shifts had severed their relationship? She use to be all about them but now it’s like she can’t tell how she feels about them. Is there anyway we can improve their relationship? It makes me so sad that this is happening, I love both of them very much and I want her to get along with them again.

My son’s school called me today, apparently it’s been an ongoing issue that my sons been mean to others. They haven’t called before this but apparently it’s been on going. He made fun of someone’s weight, called someone ugly and made fun of someone for not having money. We are NOT like this at home, I have never made fun of someone’s weight, looks or financial situations. I donated extra every time a slip comes home for an activity that requires money for the kids that don’t have it. We have told him why doing these things are not okay and not right and to find out he’s been doing it to kids at school makes me sick. He doesn’t care about consequences and I don’t know what else to do. Anyone else have this issue before? We cannot stand children that are bullies and I will not tolerate my child being one. I know I plan on making him write each one an apology when I get home to start.

Potential trigger warning here, just a heads up. Contains sa talk.

I get this message from my kid's teacher today explaining that a boy had been bothering her in class. This is kindergarten, for context, so we're talking 5- and 6-year-olds. Apparently the boy had asked my daughter and another girl to 1) show him their butts, 2) look at his butt, and 3) watch him, I quote, "lick his finger and put it in his pants." And the teacher and assistant principal decided the best course of action was just to move him to another seat away from the girls.

I should say, I wish no ill will towards the boy who obviously has been through something he shouldn't have. But I don't like the solution. I don't think a child who displays any sexual behavior towards another child should be allowed around children until it's been thoroughly dealt with by cps and therapists. I think the most fair option as far as realistic expectation is that he's at least moved to another classroom. My daughter shouldn't have to move, and especially considering it wasn't just her involved, why wouldn't they just move him? But I'm going to talk to the assistant principal, and will either demand he be moved or I'm just going to pull my daughter out of school. We're a homeschool family, this school was always a temporary thing, and we accomplished the goals we wanted by sending her there, so there's really no need for her to stay.

I'm posting this because, I was raised in a home where sa happened and was allowed to happen by adults, on top of major neglect and basically having no parents. So I legitimately don't know if I'm reacting reasonably or not, and I just need feedback from other seasoned parents or just people who grew up a little better than I did. I want to react appropriately for my daughter, and also for a little boy who is a victim too.

I'm literally in shock and still shaken over this. I'm in disbelief someone could be so rude. This is my third child and I've taken all 3 on countless flights. No one has ever been so rude to me in my life and I just don't ever want to travel with my little guy again.

It was a short flight, 40 minutes, but we had just gotten in from Mexico and it had been a long day, everyone was tired and a lot of people from my Mexico flight were on this flight too. We ended up having to sit on the tarmac for half an hour due to a maintenance issue. Not ideal but also no big deal. My littlest was getting restless and I'll admit it was tough. He was doing pretty good with toys and songs but started screaming for about two minutes, and i was panicking because everyone on the plane was already annoyed and obviously a screaming toddler doesn't help matters.

I heard an older woman behind me say "will someone shut that kid up?" I was just going to act like I didn't hear her and I was trying to entertain my toddler. Then she said "oh my god take that kid to the bathroom!" So my husband quickly turned his head around and said why don't YOU go to the bathroom? So she said "fine! You're kid is fucking obnoxious!" I was livid. I can't believe someone would talk like that to a stranger. I just said Maam you're being obnoxious. A few people on the plane that I didn't even know told her to shut up. She got up and flipped us off! The flight attendants spoke to her, no clue what they said, and she went into the lavatory and I guess just sat there for a few minutes. Came back and did a walk of shame as it seemed like everyone thought she was a moron.

I overheard her telling the man next to her that she can't hardly travel and she hates it and she didn't know where her bag was, all before she yelled at us about my son. She also complained when the flight attendants did their little speech they do on every single flight.

It was just so maddening and I feel pretty defeated. Little guy did so good on most of the flights, he just lost it for literally two minutes and we get harassed by a Karen? Just need to vent I guess. Makes me want to cancel our summer plans

Hi all! My 9 month old is a very large baby and has always been a bit late with motorskilss (or so I think based on Google 😅). Recently he started to get himself into a sitting position but in a very strange way-from all fours hi pulls himself up on furniture into a high kneeling position, and then he lets go of the furniture and sits. I hope you understand what I mean from my description lol. Anyone else had a similar situation?

I'm 28 years old and my husband and I are expecting our first little one in August! Needless to say, we're both super excited and I cannot WAIT to meet my little bean 💗

Time is flying by and I'm fast approaching my 20 week scan where we get to find out baby's gender and that has set off a few anxieties. I'm super worried about being a mother to a girl for several reasons. Jealousy, envy, competition etc.

Even before I was pregnant, my brother (5 years younger) would always openly say in front me me and the family that if I had a baby girl, the girl would be 'screwed' because of how much I don't get along with women.

I mean, I did grow up around boys more because of my brother and my cousins who are mostly boys. I was bullied by girls at school and I only had one girl best friend who I had a lot in common with. Other than her, I got made fun of by other girls at school who were in my 'group of friends'. I got beat up by a girl, one girl put cream on my hair and pretty much made my school life hell. My best friend and I are no longer friends and I haven't really found the same friendship again.

Fast forward, I didn't make many girl friends at uni, not because I didnt wanted to, I just met a bunch of guys who I became friends with.

Fast forward again to my work places, I've generally only made good friendships with guys (nothing romantic) but again, not that Im a pick-me girl, its because I havent really clicked with majority of the women in my place. Maybe one or two women, enough to get along well at work but nothing more than that. I found it hard to fit in among the women cause I guess you call me a straight shooter with traits of a tomboy?

My aunty would compare me to other girls who were better looking or skinnier so I never felt good in my own skin until the age of 23.

Fast forward to last two years, I got married to the man of my dreams. My husband's family has a lot of women so I tried my hardest to be a friend to them and reach out when they needed help and support. I tried my hardest. But things didn't work out the way I hoped it would. I tried helping my sister in law from her toxic husband who physically assaulted her, only to get told to basically fuck off and get cut off from my husband's side of the family entirely (she got mad cause I told her that her husband is a asshole and she should leave him). I'd probably still be part of my husbands family if I kept paying for their expenses, if I agreed with their stupid life choices and if I didn't give the truth they needed to hear. But fuck em.

All this to say that I've had some very negative experiences with women throughout my life. Now I don't have my own 'group of girls' that I go to lunches with, have drinks with or gossip to about our partners but im happy with what I do have, my family and a few close friends.

HOWEVER, that doesn't take away the horrible experiences I've had with men. Heartbreak, sexual assault and sexism.

I know by now that one gender isn't better than the other but the comments from my brother has really been messing with my head...I mean am I really a women hater? Am I really a pick-me girl? Am I not capable of connecting with women? These questions don't matter much now but the one I keep asking myself is 'if I have a baby girl, will I be able to connect with her and love her the way she needs to be loved? OR will I (somehow) hate my own kid and take my built of frustration out on her, only to lose her in the end?' 'Will I become a bitch mom who will see her daughter as a competition?' And 'Will I treat her differently if I end up having a boy later on in life?'

The thing that keeps me hopefully though is my mother. She is my biggest supporter, my biggest critic and my best friend. The one woman who I would jump in front of a bullet for. Thank you mum.

Enough rambling...have any of you wonderful parents out there experienced anything like this when you were expecting your first? How did you overcome it? Are things with little ones different now and ultimately, will the worries go away?

Thank you for reading 🙏

https://www.cnn.com/audio/podcasts/terms-of-service-with-clare-duffy/episodes/a01475c4-96cf-11ef-aa1b-f3b4efb74ea6

CNN’s Terms of Service podcast today discussed “Wait Until 8th” and the “Luddite Club.” What do you think about smartphones before high school?

My three year old son has no problem peeing in the toilet but he will not poop at all. He screams he's scared of the toilet the whole time to sit on it. We have tried everything (like charts, prizes, cookies, candy & even toys) but he still won't. I am worried about it and feel like I'm failing. Does anybody have any advice? Please send them my way 😭

My son will be 16 months in 3 days and he usually would wake up around 8-9am and be awake 3-5 hours then take a nap anywhere from 1-3 hours. Then would be awake until bedtime which could vary depending on when he woke up from his nap, could be 8:30-11pm. Usually around 9ish though.

Suddenly yesterday he woke up at 8:30, was awake until 11:30 where he fell asleep for his nap, slept until 12:30, then he refused to nap again (he used to sneak in a second nap if he woke up too early from his usual 1 nap) and was finally tired and fell asleep within 1 minute of laying down and nursing. He had a few episodes of waking up partially and fussing twice last night for 5-10 minutes. Then he slept until 8-8:30 this morning. I tried to put him down for a nap around 1, finally around 1:45 I gave up after he was crawling all over and playing. So I brought him out and started feeding him some more snacks. It’s currently 3pm so he’s been awake 7 hours and doesn’t even seem tired.

Why is he doing this all of a sudden? I’m sure he’s not ready to drop naps entirely but I can’t force him to sleep either

So for context, my daughter has always been a very independent person. She’s never really had a hard time with grandparent sleepovers, going to school, riding the bus, going to sports practices, etc. But recently, things have changed so much.

For the past couple of weeks, she’s been really struggling with separation anxiety. It seems to be pretty scattered as far as reasoning goes. Sometimes she expresses fear about something bad happening at school (lockdown drills, fire drills) when she is away from us, sometimes it’s that she just wants to spend more time with us as a family, and sometimes she mentions that she wants to stay a baby forever and feels that she is growing up too fast. Before the separation anxiety, it was a general anxiety about growing old and eventually dying, as well as being afraid of her dad and I dying one day. Now it’s evolved into her outright refusing to go to school, going to the clinic at school multiple times a week with a “stomach ache” to either try and come home or just talk to us on the phone, and refusing to go to practices or play dates. Most nights she can’t even sleep and lies in bed crying until one of us stays with her.

I believe it all started when her dad and I made a couple of comments about “how fast she’s growing up” and “how much of a big girl she’s becoming” because her birthday is coming up in a month. We’ve talked to her and her teacher, she’s not being bullied or anything like that. Her teacher has let her keep a family photo at her desk for comfort. She has lots of friends, great grades, gets along with her teacher, etc. I have made her a counseling appointment but it won’t be for another week. Today, she refused to get on the school bus and her dad had to leave work to take her to school late.

I’m just wondering if anyone has any advice, can relate, has any insight into what is happening or what could help her. We’re trying SO hard to be as supportive and patient as we can, because it’s breaking our hearts to watch her personality go from so vibrant and outgoing and silly to seeing her struggle with this so much, but we feel so helpless.

My 4 year old nephew is genuinely an amazing boy. He’s very sociable, plays well has no tantrums /‘d very little whinging etc

He eats well and has a good diet, by my sister is at her wits end with his sleeping.

His sleeping pattern has been the same for years, bath before bed every night, story and then lights out for around 7pm. He co sleeps so either one of his parents put him to sleep and they usually go downstairs for a few hours and back into bed around 10:30.

Since he has turned 4 in December, he has been getting up constantly from 9pm and through the night. Could be between 3-10 times a night but it’s every night.

They don’t know what to do and asked me to search potentially about giving magnesium supplement. They’re not sure which brand or type is good. (They live in the UK)

Let me clarify I’m NOT asking for medical advice and a call has been put into their doctor. Just looking for similar experiences.

My husband, my brother, my 5yo, 3yo and 1yo all have strep throat. We had an Amoxicillin party basically.

Today is day 7. They’re supposed to be on them for 3 more days, but my 3yo and 1yo are having bad diarrhea. I’m going to continue the antibiotics until I hear otherwise from their pediatrician.

This is our first time taking antibiotics, so I’m not sure how normal this is. I’m talking multiple watery poops every day for the last 3 days. My 3yo keeps having accidents because he can’t hold it.

Again, NOT medical advice please. Just wondering is this fairly normal for Amoxicillin?

I (43 F) am struggling alongside my (11 F) child as she does virtual schooling. She stopped going to public school recently as she had severe overwhelm and anxiety, and it was really affecting her mental health. Between the active shooter drills, bullying, constant noise and distractions, etc, she just could not thrive in that environment. So we signed her up to do her schooling from home through the district's virtual program (meaning it follows the district's curriculum and there are real teachers available to help if needed) to see if that would help her focus more and succeed. Well, it isn't.

My daughter has ADHD which we are in the process of getting treatment for. I also have ADHD and vividly remember my experiences in public school as I was growing up... and it was pretty awful. My grades were terrible because many of the classes that I was required to take were not interesting to me in the slightest, and I could not concentrate or will myself to care no matter how hard I tried. I knew that if I didn't do the work, I would fail. I knew that if I failed, I wouldn't graduate. It didn't matter. I just couldn't do it. The things I excelled at were the things I was interested in: English, Creative Writing, Art, and Music. Everything else were Ds and Fs and it made me feel incredibly stupid, and like something was wrong with me.

To see my daughter now experiencing the same thing is heartbreaking. I do not believe (and I haven't believe for a very long time) that school is right for everyone. It just isn't. And yet that belief is constantly being challenged by the societal pressure (and state laws) which say that all children *have* to go to school - or else! And the children who go to school but don't do well? They are labeled as "dumb," "incompetent," "learning disabled," etc. What is a parent to do when they KNOW that their child is very intelligent, but just not cut out for public education? Home schooling is an option, but that pretty much follows the same curriculum as public schools. Unschooling is another option, but I'm too nervous to try it and I have no idea how to even begin. I think that Waldorf-style schools are pretty fantastic, but they charge so much that I could never afford to give her that opportunity. I feel so lost, and I hate having to try and motivate/encourage her to "do better" when she really is doing the best she can.

Does anyone else struggle with this? I have been sitting on the couch with her as she does her work so that I can help her if she gets hung up on something (which is often) and honestly? I don't understand half of it either!! And it makes me want to take a nap, some of it is so BORING! How are these kids expected to sit in their desks for 7 hours a day listening to this stuff?

I know I'll probably get a lot of crap for this post and that's okay. It doesn't change my beliefs. I'm more just wondering if anyone else is going through this, or had gone through it, and to ask if you found something different that DID end up working for you or your child?

My daughter has been having multiple meltdowns a week. The triggers vary, but they are mostly associated with me asking her plainly to do things like pick up toys left on the ground from play, turn off the TV, go brush teeth.

She pretty much will never listen the first time I ask, so usually by time 5-6 I'm getting firmer and louder. I do my absolute best to not scream and lose my shit. I rarely get there.

As I get firmer, she'll run away from me and go cry and scream/stomp somewhere. The last couple of times I stopped chasing her and trying to explain myself, the ask, etc - and eventually shed'll calm down and then step out and try to return to normal (example: if it's before bedtime, calmly ask if i can read her a book now).

For context, I'm a single mom. My daughter's dad died when she was 13 months old. Lately when I try to ask where the big feelings are really coming from or what's upsetting her, she goes back to her dad. How he hurt her feelings by dying, how she wants him to come back.

I know I've been too lax and permissive. Changing that behavior on my end to try to get my kid to do more reasonable stuff (brush her own teeth, pick up toys, dress herself for school) is triggering an intense response in her that I'm struggling to manage. The hyperventilation modes she gets in freak me out honestly. We're in play therapy but quite frankly I don't think it's doing anything.

Tips, anybody been through this and found a way out?

I am at a complete loss over my 12 yr old daughter's behavior toward me. I decided to leave the family home and file for divorce from her father. He's always been Disney dad and I took on all family responsibilities, which played an enormous role in my choice. Now that I've left, her behavior is downright awful to me. Dad is struggling with work and failing to care for his responsibilities on his own. Some weeks he is not at the house with her or is disengaged. Whereas I'm full time WFH and always there. She is so mean and cold to me. I found out she has my name changed to some other random name in her phone. She's kind when she wants something. I have an appointment to have her meet a therpist this week. But what do I do? She gets so upset with me all the time and I'm a pretty great mom. This hurts me to my core and I loose hours of sleep worrying about her, our relationship and the choices she is making among friends. Case in point, I took her to Europe for 3 weeks in Dec/Jan with her older brother and she shit on everything and made comments about how she just wanted to be home with her friends. Every chance she got to ruin our time, she took it. Any advice from those who've been here is welcome. I'm exhausted.

I've been thinking about this recently. Maybe its my insecurity showing through, but I'm always concerned about if my wife and I are doing a good job in raising our daughters. I can't figure out how to approach her at her level to find out her outlook.

I just recently got full custody of my first born. I had him young and my mom raised him because I went down the wrong road.. ive always been in his life, just not as consistently as i should have been. he has always been a hand full for her and basically over the summer she dropped him off and signed him back over to me (finally) I. Happy and grateful but also a little resentful towards her over this. He just turned 12 and gives me a hard time when it comes to me asking him to do anything at all.. I ask him to brush his teeth - we fight.. ask him to do homework - we fight. Clean his room- we fight... Everything with him is a fight. It was the same for my mom. I'm worried about how to get a handle on him and this before he gets to much older.

Hi All,

Xpost cartalkUK. We are based in the UK.

I am selling my 2016 c4 grand picasso for scrap after years of problems and thousands of pounds. I've got three kids, 6, 6 and 9, and often take their friends places too. I'm not after something stylish, but something safe, reliable, and comfortable. I have narrowed it down to:

VW sharan SEAT alhambra Bmw gran tourer 7 seat

I am looking around 2020-2021(I know the first two are discontinued... is that problematic?) I really like the BMW, but I'm worried about comfort in the middle seat.

Any advice at all? Right now, reliability is huge on my mind after my awful Citroen experience.

Any advice is much appreciated.

I have a baby girl, almost one year old. I am a good mom, she is a fantastic baby, sleeps well, eats well, took to breastfeeding well, all in all I have nothing to complain about. But I hate being a mom. I don't like it and I don't want to be a mom. I look at my life and destroyed career and all the toys everywhere and the dirty food covered baby mouth and hands and I feel like a complete imposter. I love her so much but I hate this. Had anyone else felt this way? How do you deal with these feelings?

My husband and I have a 2 year old and a 6 year old. My FIL and his partner used to watch my 6 year old between the ages of 1-4 for the occasional date night. We had many safety issues come up in that time. Including his partner being high on mushrooms and taking my child to the park, gates not being up around fireplaces, they have a dog that has attempted to bite other people and dogs (never our child, in fact the dog seems to be very calm and affectionate with our children, but I am still not comfy with this), they also have a poor record of having the correct car seat installed, they let their other 8 year old grandchild sit in the front of their car without turning the air bag off, they have left knives in reach of the kids, let stray cats come into the house while watching my child... I could go on and on. For the first couple years they would address the issue and we would bring the kids back, giving them more and more chances, but then a year would go by and the gate wouldn't be up around the fireplace again. My father in laws response "oh you two have too many rules I can't keep up with them". Last year I said enough was enough when my niece found a pairing knife in the living room couch she had just been jumping on. We stopped sending our kids there and so did my SIL. My husband and I were in agreeance then. However my sister in law has started to send her 2 kids back and so now over the last 6 months my husband has been trying to convince me to start sending our 6 year old son back since his Dad has been asking him to watch our kids. I said no and my husband and I had multiple fights over it. I finally compromised and said his dad could come over and watch the kids at our house. However, I came home one time to my 2 year old daughter having drawn all over my sons mattress with a marker, which to me was evidence that she hadn't been checked on in a while. So I again I went by my original gut decision and said I just wasn't comfortable with his Dad being responsible for watching our children period. I said he could come over anytime he wanted to spend time with our kids, or we could even come for a visit to his house but that myself or husband had to be present. His Dad just didn't get it even after I explained everything that had happened in the past. My husband had been asking me again recently and I again said No, I wasn't comfortable. This weekend I went away with some girlfriends and my husband let his Dad pick up our daughter from daycare and take her back to his house and babysit her for 3 hours. I of course am so livid over this and I feel completely disrespected...my husband and I of course got into a giant fight over this. He told me I am being too controlling and that I am letting my emotions control the kids going over to his Dad's. Where I think I am being quite pragmatic. I gave his Dad so many chances in the past and he blew it, at some point someone needs to say enough is enough and they just aren't fit to look after kids. But of course that makes me the bad guy in the situation.

I am holding my ground here, but it is ruining mine and my husbands relationship. My husband says he will be taking our kids there anyways whether I like it or not, he agrees that my children will not be receiving the best care there, but that they are not in grave harm so there is no excuse to not let his Dad watch our children. I know this makes my husband seem like a total asshole, but he is actually a decent man and father in all other aspects. I don't want to divorce him over this issue, but I also don't feel like his partner when he is making these decisions without me. Also I am sure if we were to separate my children would end up at my father in laws way more often, I live in Ontario, Canada and I don't know if there is a way for me to legally stop my father in law from babysitting my children. I feel so stuck and I am at such a loss for what to do. If you read his far THANK YOU and do you have any advice on what I can do moving forward? How do i stop this from ruining my marriage (husband refuses to go to couples counselling/therapy)? and how do i prevent his Dad from watching our children if my husband is just going to take them there anyways without my permission?

My tweens are not athletic, nor have they ever been inclined to be. They are more artsy or STEM interested. We've never pushed athletics on either of them beyond basic safety measures (swimming lessons). They are wholly social, often on their own terms, and can stand up for themselves. That said....

Lately, I've realized maybe we were remiss in preparing them for physical confrontation. My husband has never had a fight in his adult life; he's from Jersey and his personality goes a looong way. But they are NOT him. We both agree that we should get them involved in ... something. He's leaning towards jiu jitsu, I am think some basic boxing. This isn't about belts or competition, we just want them to be confident in defending themselves from bullies or on the subway, etc. (YES, we are teaching them basic safety awareness but that's mitigation, not action.)

Despite their bravado, they often shy away from the spotlight, so I am OK with budgeting for private lessons. But where? With who? What am I looking for???? WHO am I looking for?

Last weekend all of us got sick. My daughter seemed to get it the least bad out of all of us which is great! Took her to the doctor Thrusday and she checked out okay. Sick but okay! Treat the symptoms, the usual thing. Over the weekend she just went so downhill. Shes miserable and it breaks my heart. Thankfully she goes to the doctor again today but it is just awful to see her like that.

Being a parent is so hard when you want desperately to help your child but theres literally nothing you can do but hold them and give them medicine. She cries for help and Ive got nothing, just sweet words, medicine and hugs and kisses but its not enough. I never realized just how much it would break my heart to not be able to reassure her that everything is going to be okay. I love the days of "Jump up! Youve got it, you're okay!", but this doesn't work in this case.

More a word vomit than anything but Im just worried sick and needed to spill somewhere before it explodes out of me.

Hi everyone. How has everyone gotten through daycare cost? We are barely making it by now. Our baby is 4 months old right now. Thankfully we have our niece keeping our baby until May. Once daycare starts it will be $1,650 coming out of the bank account per month. We have shopped around and this is one of the cheapest options.

We don’t have family or friends we could stay with. I feel like we are going to end up having to foreclose on our house. Our house would not even sell in the market today, selling isn’t even an option because we would lose money. We can’t sell our cars because there is not public transportation where we live, and that would not even bring us close to covering that cost. I have been having some emotional breakdowns over this, likely hormones but I am stressing big time.

Financially, what are some other options you all have had to do?

Thank you for any advice.

Mainly, what do your kids wear?!? What do you wear?

I always hear the “there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad gear/clothing”, but what is GOOD gear/clothing? 😂 Is it actually enjoyable when when it’s freezing?

Share with me lol

So our 8.5 year old is not allowed to play Fortnite at home; we don’t have a Switch/Playstation (yet). But he has two friends who he occasionally plays with, who are allowed to play for half an hour; up til now we haven’t prevented this. Our son has mild ADHD tendencies and is extremely drawn to these kinds of games, as are millions of kids worldwide… He likes to draw the characters, role play the game with his Nerf and friends and talks about it quite a lot. I have been growing more concerned due to talking with a friend who has a 12 yo with similar character development as my son and she is warning me to not let him play on account of it being extremely addictive and interfere with brain development. Her son is totally consumed by it and it shows in his grades and behavior.

So my question is: has anybody revoked their decision to allowing this game (or other games their kids really like) and how have your kids reacted? I’m sure he’ll hate me for it. I’m also concerned that he will find ways to play behind my back. Wouldn’t that make things worse? What do you think?