/r/Parenting
/r/Parenting is the place to discuss the ins and out as well as ups and downs of child-rearing. From the early stages of pregnancy to when your teenagers are finally ready to leave the nest (even if they don't want to) we're here to help you through this crazy thing called parenting.
You can get advice on potty training, talk about breastfeeding, discuss how to get your baby to sleep or ask if that one weird thing your kid does is normal.
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Exactly what it states. So this evening I was downstairs with the baby, and I had just found my son’s belt and put it on his bed. He starts snapping it around and it startled the toddler. Told him to put it away. He walked into my daughter’s room and I heard the smack. And then the sudden scream and cries that followed. I immediately flew up the stairs and he’s like “I didn’t mean to” which was bullshit. Know. He got caught and knew he was now in big trouble.
It took everything in me not to haul off and smack him myself. I wanted to. I was so angry. But I don’t discipline out of anger. Because I would have hurt him if I had. So, I took his phone. His tv. Everything he enjoys. And sent him to bed. I’m going to have to deal with this in the morning. I was too angry to really deal with him tonight. I sent him to bed at 7 when this happened.
How should I punish him? His father isn’t involved. We divorced two years ago after 13 years together and his father couldn’t get to me, so he stopped trying to see the kids. My son won’t even talk to him on the phone.
I have started counseling for him two years ago when we divorced but clearly there’s a lot of anger under the surface.
Why else would he do something like that? I should mention he’s adhd/oppositional defiance disorder. The older he gets the more aggressive he gets when he gets angry. He’s kicked doors. Thrown shit around. Like just complete melt downs and he’s flat out mean to his sister. Swears at her like he’s a grown man. I just took her to Florida for cheer competition for nationals, before we left he spit in her face. I told him today- the next time he assaults a member of this household. I will call the police and have him arrested. I’m not playing. I will not tolerate violence of any type in this home. Especially violence of a bigger boy against a smaller girl. That will not be tolerated what so ever.
I also removed his entire gaming system from the living room and it’s boxed up. I’m considering selling it. I bought it. He had it taken away for over 3 months. Just got it back. Had it less than 24 hours. I’m so done. Am I over reacting? What else can I do?
This is a long one so buckle up. I’m sure this is incredibly niche but my 10yo stepson has been “dating” this girl in his grade for a year or 2 now. We recently noticed that his grades have been dropping and he has 2 Cs and a D in various subjects. A week after we noticed this due to grades being entered, his girlfriend out of the blue dumps him (via note btw) because she likes another boy. He was snot nose crying in class and his teacher ended up having to call his mom and let him talk to her because he refused to tell his teacher what was wrong. Ended up keeping him home from school the next day because the crying would not stop and we didn’t want him disrupting class again. We discussed what happened and his feelings that night and he was distraught saying that he will never find anyone and will die alone. We pointed out that he’s only 10 and that he’ll find someone else. We then asked him what he would do if the boy she liked didn’t like her back and she came back to him. He said without skipping a beat that he would take her back. I told him that he would not be a second option to anyone and that he is worth more than being treated like one. Well, guess what happened a couple days later. They’re back together and all is well according to him. This was about 2 weeks ago. Got another call from his teacher that he always comes to school in a good mood and cracking jokes but after lunch and recess he sad and crying. He told her that he’s depressed and doesn’t play with anyone at recess because he’s waiting for his girlfriend to come over and see him but she’s off playing with her friends and paying him no mind (like a normal 10yo). He’s developed the WORST attitude and his grades keep slipping. We’ve all had enough and told him he cannot date (his mom was the one telling him he could and even going as far as getting her bouquets of flowers and a necklace with her name on it for Valentine’s Day, birthdays and such). He told us that he will NOT break up with her and that’s the end of it. We have no idea what to do at this point. I know what I want to do but I’m not sure it’s legal lol. He will walk away from conversations about it and slam doors on the way out, yell and tell us that we don’t understand etc. With all that has transpired and his attitude, he has had all devices taken away.
I’m feel like my hands are tied so any and all suggestions on how to go about this are appreciated!
Wondering if anyone has fixed a ripping seam on a little tikes bouncy house or any bouncy house in general. Mine is starting to rip along one of the seams on the slides.
Our daughter had a basic burner phone in middle school so we could always be in contact. Now she is in ninth grade so we got her a smartphone. My sister has three kids oldest is 8. Sorry I just think that is a tad young for a smartphone.
My baby is 5 days old and has started spitting up breast milk just a little bit at first although as my production is increasing he spit up but it also came out of his nose (possibly vomiting?) but it was all white and milk-like with no other color or problems appearing. I’m worried he could choke on it or that he’s going to get hurt in some way. I’m a first time mom so I don’t know if I’m over worrying and maybe panicking a little more than I should but it’s really stressing me out seeing my own breast milk coming out of my babies nose and being spit up.. I’m not planning on pumping until he’s 2-3 weeks old for bottles and outings. I know some spit up is normal but when is it a problem?
Throwaway for privacy.
On most days, my daughter (22) and I (44) have zero issues. She is my mini me in ALMOST every possible way (looks, attitude, beliefs, personality.. so forth) We have an amazing relationship, we are extremely close and spend at least 85% of our day together, everyday (we both work from home). However, the one aspect that's so polar opposite is her ability to turn a normal conversation in a whole ass argument. And over things that are so beyond stupid, I can't believe they become a real issue. I feel like I'm stuck in the fucking twilight zone.
For example... yesterday she brewed up a fight over 2 actors being more popular than the other. I never initiate these arguments... I always think we're just having a FUN civilized conversations and then BOOOOM, she pushes them into debates. She proceeds to get super angry while we're having a rational adult debate and turns it into a full blown pisisng match on her side. She will not listen to reason, never admits when she's wrong (like it even matters, because it's always the dumbest shit ever), and at times, just can't drop it. I have to say I'm done with this conversation for her to just shut up and she will end it by saying something hurtful, storming off, leaving me in tears.
She always puts words in my mouth, tries to read in between lines that aren't there (I say exactly what I mean, there's nothing to read into), interprets everything I say into her own twisted version of reality. She interrupts me when I'm calmly trying to talk with reason, then when I try to defend myself... she says you didn't even say that!!! when the words are literally coming out... she just cuts me off, so no how could you have possibly heard it. I will stop talking to give her the floor, let her get it all out, then when I can finally speak up for myself, she will say I don't wanna hear what you have to say... I don't understand at all how she can get so angry so quickly over such trivial bullshit.
It's beyond frustrating and it's starting to weigh on our relationship on my end. I'm just tired of being a verbal punching bag over things that have zero impact to our lives. I want peace back in my life. I don't want to kick her out, but if she can't get past whatever the hell is going on, what else can I do. 😭😭😭😭 Idk what to do, talking to her doesn't help. It stops a few days and then starts all over again.
So we have an only child. Yes, she's spoiled but wouldn't have it any other way. This weekend we went to my parents house and my sister's kids (two kids) and a family friend bought their kids (three). Everything started out OK but went into chaos.
Let me say that our house is very calm and laid back. Obviously with just one child we don't deal with the screaming and fighting. But I got a dose of it from my sister's kids (one boy one girl) and my friends kids (two boys one girl).
I feel like my wife and I get judged (mostly by my sister but probably my friend as well) as being too much of helicopter parenting to our daughter (she's two). What I mean by that is, for example, at my parents house my sister let her two kids downstairs and my friend let his kids all play downstairs as well. My sister and her husband stayed upstairs (did not check on the kids once) and my friend and his wife also stayed upstairs and did not check on the kids at all. Obviously my daughter wanted to play with the other kids but we weren't comfortable to let all six kids play alone. I mean, doesn't there have to be some adult supervision?
Well, we tried that (my sister said just let our daughter play with the kids alone they'll be fine - great advice). All of us stayed upstairs and about ten minutes later we here screaming. The other parents didn't care, but I went down to check on my daughter. And thank God. One of the kids (boy) was running around completely naked (my daughter saw this) and then my sisters kid was hitting my friends kid with a baseball. My daughter just kept playing and seemed ok with her girl cousin but I was fortified. Keep in mind it was the older kids that acted like this. If it was just my daughter and my niece, everything would've been completely fine.
Eventually, things settled and the kids were disciplined. But I don't know why I felt like me (and my wife) were the only ones that wanted to make sure there was some supervision. It frustrated me because the other parents didn't care. Maybe I was just in a bad group of apples this weekend and not all kids act like this (or because we have an only and are not used to this).
What a weekend.
Hey guys! Some people I know have been talking about how they took their littles to movies and personally I want to see Moana 2 😭🤣 but my 10 month old ? I just don’t know how she would do. She’s a very stoic and calm baby has anyone taken their baby to a movie? How did it go? I obviously would leave if she wasn’t having it, and we’d go to an early movie with few people. Would it really be a dick move ?
What the title says.
Basically my wife (46) and oldest (7f) are enmeshed. Wife knows it and jokes about how we are going to pay for her therapy when Rose is older. I think it's not that funny a joke since my kid keeps looking to her mom for how to feel about things. Also, rose will Not. Be. By herself. I know kids like to be near their parents, but I feel like this just on the side of too much.
It started, I think, when Rose was a baby. I work 2 jobs and both of them could put me on travel significantly. One during the work week and the other on weekends. I had been good at managing them so they wouldn't overlap but at some point my wife started feeling lonely and would keep Rose in bed with her. Now I see the mistake, especially with rose's personality. She can fixate and perseverate on things like no one I know. Its...a lot.
Also, when we had our 2nd, due to wife's health and honestly ease, I handled taking care of the baby, while wife cared for Rose. FFwrd to today and Vera has a great relationship with both of us, though she prefers me, and Rose only wants her mom.
I make an effort everyday to connect with Rose but she only wants my wife.
I have changed 1 of my jobs so now I only have to travel weekends and that is ony part of the year.
It will be our baby’s first Christmas and that’s our first baby. My husband has decided that he is going overseas to celebrate Christmas with his family. I have asked him to stay with us for the Christmas but he says no there is our family restaurant opening as well so I need to be there. Its not their first restaurant opening they already have 2 more, so it’s not like they can’t do it without my husband.
I know that sounds terrible… but I really can’t stand my friends kid. She is so rude and constantly tears my daughter down. I had shitty friends growing up and I just accepted them for how they were…Now as an adult, I have a hard time making and trusting friends because of that. I’m a single mom. This is the first Christmas I’m celebrating with my kids (former Jehovah’s Witness born and raised for 25 years. I’ve been pretty much out for 4 years now.. but have lived with my parents who are still witnesses). I’m doing these holidays alone. I have bought the tree… presents… but my kids have recently realized they felt left out with the Elf on the shelf (I was hoping to wait until next year to incorporate him… I also, as of recently, work overnights and I’m already overwhelmed with the holidays financially…) I bought an elf plushy (10$ vs the 33$ for an actual Elf the Shelf) for now as my kids elf is in “training” until Sunday….well her friend told her the elf plushy I bought it’s not a real elf… I’m so annoyed. Obviously I know it’s not… but damn. Like I’m just trying to bring some Christmas magic to my kids because they deserve it! My daughter thinks I’m mean to her friend… but I just can’t stand listening to her friend on FaceTime being a little brat….
Sorry. Just needed to vent that out.
My kids are middle school age. I’m having a longstanding issue with them leaving their lunchboxes, bento boxes, thermoses(?), water bottles at school, in the car, or in their backpacks or room.
They help me pack the lunches so they have input on what they want to eat and how much they’d like. We have a lot of options.
The food gets packed, then thrown away at school, thrown away at home, or the dreaded, “I don’t know where it is/I forgot” and it’s full of rotten food.
One of my kids left a banana in her backpack (just an uncontained banana, thrown in the bottom of the main pocket! and it turned to soup and ruined everything in her backpack and ruined her backpack.
One problem is cost I’ve replaced maybe 8-10 lunch boxes. Maybe 6 water bottles, and one back pack. Not to mention the Tupperware I just throw away cause it’ll never be clean again after a weekend in a hot car trunk or lost and found. It’s not cheap.
I also have to figure in the cost of the food that isn’t even being eaten, like why even buy it?
Another problem is the gross messy hassle of cleaning it all out. It’d be easy if I could just get them to throw out what they don’t eat and at least rinse their lunch boxes. At this age they should be washing their own lunch boxes out after school. So them not giving a shit about basic things like not being wasteful and not picking after themselves is weird.
So I said, “You’ve showed me you’re not responsible enough to handle taking your own lunch to school and so you can eat cafeteria food for the next week. We’ll reassess in a week.
Is this too harsh? One of them is pretty picky and said she wouldn’t eat it at all, I told her that was her choice.
So, am I being unreasonable? Suggestions? Thanks!
I don’t even know where to start.
We moved to a very remote area (1hr + from just about anything) about 2 years ago. At first I thought this was temporary and we would find better housing. So any issues I kinda just brushed off. I have come to realize this isn’t temporary. When we lived in a metropolitan area I was constantly going out with my kids. Splash pad, parks, museums, theme parks, movies, etc. I was a very outgoing person and loved taking my kids into the community and having new fun experiences.
Now my kids are 13, 11, and 8. The distance has only amplified my 13 year old daughter’s behavior issues. When we first moved, I continued to schedule outings, albeit on a more limited basis. But with each outing, and time, the issues magnified. She will pick fights with her siblings almost nonstop. She speaks and acts very negatively. She also uses a lot of nasty language and will ridicule and talk down to her siblings endlessly. They are not innocent - once she has started in they will go back and forth with the same kind of behavior. I purchased a larger car in hopes that giving them some space would help. It didn’t. Last year I went to lengths to purchase tickets for a special event after Christmas. I planned a special day. They were one of many generous Christmas gifts given to “the family”. When it came time for the special day, my 13 y/o was awful.
Everything described above plus when we got to the event center she was so cruel to not only me but everyone else. It ruined the entire performance. She soured the entire day. All because she could not sit in the seat she wanted. This type of thing has happened on multiple occasions. As it pertains to Christmas, last year getting a tree was miserable. Going to look at Christmas lights was miserable. Going to the ballet was miserable. This year we have done none of those things and I am so, so depressed. I have stopped doing almost all of the things I used to as a mom. I feel like there is no point in trying to plan fun memories for my family because the stress of her behavior has overwhelmed me so much I cannot convince myself to do anything. The things I did with my daughter at 8 I feel like my youngest will never get to experience because I am to overwhelmed by her behavior to plan outings. My 11 year old is slightly delayed due to a brain injury. My 13 year old is always angry with me because her sister (2 years younger!) does not have the same standards as the 13 year old. My husband and I have explained that she has a medical diagnosis of low processing etc and so on. I didn’t want to share this info with my oldest but felt like it might help her understand where we were coming from. It didn’t. I regularly make time to spend time 1:1 with each child including my oldest. I try to bond. I apologize when I’m wrong. Still my oldest is so resentful and mean. I do not know what to do It has depressed and overwhelmed me to the point that i know I am not showing up for my other kids like I did/do her. We have tried taking away phones, grounding, but nothing seems to change the behavior. I’m emotionally fried and staying in our house in the middle of nowhere doing nothing with constant bickering has got me very depressed. I got a part time job to get me out of the house but it didn’t fix anything. It doesn’t fill my “fun bucket”. I don’t know how to exist in the absence of all the things I love doing. It has made me a very dull and depressed person. Is this just how the teen years are? I am an only child so I really have no idea what other people are like growing up with siblings. I just want to curl up and cry. The idea of leaving the house with the kids is extremely overwhelming. Outside is not an option most days. It’s extremely cold where we live and most days I keep the house at 60ish to save wood. warming up after outside activities is difficult.
When I take the younger 2 anywhere without the oldest we almost never have issues. They don’t fight. They are grateful for our experiences. But I rarely do that as I feel like it’s not kind to not include her. I’m at a loss of how to parent in the best way for all 3 kids. None of them sleep in the car either so when all 3 are present - there is no reprieve. Ever 😭
TL;DR: 8 year old lost a $100 bill, and next day, a $100 magically appears at his locker at school, claims he happens to find it. How to get him to confess and what's a suitable punishment?
My 8 year old doesn't have a fixed allowance, but he gets money now and then as rewards, gifts from family, difficult chores, just because, etc... Anywhere from a few coins to a dollar to a $10 dollar. This year he got a $100 bill gift from his aunt for his birthday which is a huge deal! I asked if he'd like me to put it in his savings account, but he insisted on keeping it in his wallet. We talked about being careful and responsible with money and so on.
A few weeks back I saw him about to put it in his school bag, saw that just on time and explained that he shouldn't carry that much money around, or talk about it or flaunt to friends etc. and had another lesson on responsibility.
Yesterday before bed time he casually said that the bill was missing from his wallet! I asked if he misplaced it, took it to school, talked about it, showed it to someone, nothing. Between bed time and next morning routine we didn't get a chance to talk about, and my mind starts wondering if someone stole it and searched everywhere, we planned to talk after school.
Well, at school pickup, I opened his locker, a bunch of stuff fall on the floor and I see $100 bill! It was sport drop off time so I didn't have time to talk much about it, but I brought it up, firmly. He acted surprised, then quickly said he found a $100 under his locker but didn't know who it belonged to. I asked, why he didn't report to the teacher, and he stumbled and couldn't answer. I told him that I am disappointed and that we're having a serious talk after sport
My thought (hope) is that he took it to school (showing off?) forgot it somewhere, picked it up today, and got caught before he could sneak it back. I hope it's no more than that, like what are the odds of a random $100 appearing at an elementary school where he happened to be that moment, and one day after he reported his money missing? I truly hope this is his money and not stolen. But I'm really upset about the lying.
He'll be home in about an hour and I need to figure out what to do next. Not sure what my question is. I will try to get him to tell the truth (it's either yours so admit it, or not yours so we turn it in to school) but otherwise is there any suggested punishment for this type of thing? I like consequence based (so not taking away unrelated stuff) but not sure where to go from there. I think kids at this age and money problems are normal but I want to use this as a teaching moment!
Thanks for reading that far
To preface, my 3 year old is extremely accident prone, she is very impulsive at times and super super high energy. Well we were out to eat at a restaurant and I took her to the restroom which was down a set of steps. On the way back up, as I was holding her hand, she mis- stepped and fell and bumped her lip and her tooth cut her lip, which started bleeding immediately. After lots of TLC and wiping it off, it stopped bleeding and we gave her some Motrin just for the pain. Well, my husband believes that children should never get injured under a parents care. So immediately I was to blame. He says that I am an inattentive parent, and I should have had closer watch. My opinion on this is I was holding her hand, she tripped, and there was not much more I could have done at this split second to prevent this fall. He said I should have been more “attentive”. I do not think this makes me a bad mother at all but he is trying to say otherwise that any injury she gets under my watch, is my fault.
Our son, 8, has been observing changes in his body and I would like some practical, parent-tested language to help him feel comfortable, secure, and confident throughout the changes ahead.
Tonight the observation was about a spontaneous erection while he was reading before bed. I assured him in a relaxed way that it’s very normal and healthy and has to do with blood flow. He seemed more or less satisfied with that and carried on reading, but I realized that, as he has two moms, we could benefit from some knowledge sharing to help him through this next phase.
What have you as parents said to your young sons about spontaneous erections? What words and ideas have you chosen? Have you waited for his questions, or have you offered information proactively? What worked well for your family?
Thank you in advance for sharing.
My son turns 10 in January. I'm just tired of trying to navigate parenting alone. We live with my parents who are great people and all that but I don't think they try hard to instill discipline like I do. I'm the only one on top of him doing his chores, making sure screen time doesn't get too excessive (and still does). Try to get him started in extracurriculars (right now its just Boy Scouts, but we missed the last month due to my varying work schedule, we also have a membership at a trampoline park). We live in a suburb and no kids are outside so after school it's me just navigating him.having a life outside of video games, but that's all he wants to do.
I'm am always trying to have experiences with him and do new fun things with him, but he doesn't care. We have a great relationship but he is simultaneously sick of me and I don't blame him. I'm the only voice he hears as I try to instill good values, yet personally I'm not even in a great place because I live at home with my parents and I have no career just multiple side jobs. I feel like I can't get ahead because I am worried about him, and I'm worried about me and I am overwhelmed and I wish someone would step in and just be his teacher to be someone to get him involved in other activities and be his guidance. My parents are wiped after work, they watch him when I go to work but i feel my son needs another positive influence. His dad is completely out of the picture because he simply doesn't care enough to be there for him.
I'm tired of being a single mom. I don't fit in and I hate myself and the situation I'm in living at my parents house. I feel like a loser. I'm getting burnt out figuring out life for two people.
I don't know how to write this without it sounding crazy so I will just stick with the facts of what happened. My ex and I have been in and out of court with her trying to take away my custody (30%) and me trying to get 50/50. After a year in court, I finally prevailed once the court appointed what is known as a minor's council. This is a lawyer who is supposed to advocate on behalf of the best intersted of our two boys (11 and 14). He recommended we transition to 50/50 over the next few months because the boys requested it and I moved closer to be with them.
The minor's council is an older guy (maybe late 60's) and is supposed to be super well respected in our County. My dealings with him have been civil and professional--that is up until last week. He wanted to attend my older son's IEP meeting with the school. Everyone was remote: me, my ex, my son, a few of his teachers, a rep from the school district. Everyone was cameras on.
In the middle of the meeting I hear my ex scream: "What the hell!?" and I look at the other Zoom boxes and see the minor's council with his penis out of his black pants. She then said: "it looks like he doesn't know he has his camera on" and then his camera angle changed and we could no longer see his penis. The craziest thing was I guess we were all in shock because we just kept the meeting going for another 30 minutes with no one saying anything.
I texted my ex and she claims not to have seen anything and I asked my son and he said the same thing. I thought maybe I misunderstood what I was seeing until a representative from the school board called me to let me know they are launching an investigation and asking if I or my son needed any assistance. I am meeting with my attorney tomorrow morning to get advice but I just had to get it off my chest.
This is such a nightmare. This one guy has so much power (the court basically rubber stamps his recommendations) over whether I get to see my kids or not. Maybe he went to the bathroom and forgot his camera was on? But then again his phone had to be turned sideways for the view of him standing up with his penis out so it seems like you wouldn't set your phone like that by accident. In any event I don't want him around me or my kids but I also don't want another year delay in the custody transition.
This is so unlike anything I've ever dealt with I don't even know where to begin. Thoughts?
I am curious how many people out there have stepchildren and if they have a happy life with them or, often, a very stressful life. I have been married for two years this summer. I love The woman I married more than anything in the world, but I am so sad alone and just a mess in my head because of the stepchild. I have been in the kid's life since 2-3 years old. His father is a deadbeat and just recently started to come into his life more than the past 6 months to a year. He is supposed to have a schedule and can never stick to it because he would rather party and hang with his friends. Either way, none of that matters. Being the person I am, I welcomed the kid with open arms, as I would to anyone. Let me say this: Idc what a child has problems with, and I am 100% willing to do my best to help.
The main problem I feel is the mother. I think she feels guilty for the child, so she, in return, down plays every single thing her child does I feel like. However, he is highly jealous of my daughter, his step-sister. I recently thought things were turning around, and every time I think so, things happen, and I feel lost. He's hit her, lied to her and me, and talked back about every single thing under the moon. I have been trying to coach this kid and teach him like I would do my son, and
90% of the time, I can't even do that bc he will argue with me and tell me I'm wrong or this isn't right, etc. (when in reality he is wrong but thinks he is right) that could be why he calls himself “HIM” he walks around and says I am HIM I guess that's what “cool” kids say these days. I could go on and on and on, but I won't. I love him deeply, and my wife and I want to be the person they both want me to be. It just feels impossible because when he gets in his moods where he's acting out for days or weeks 24/7, I feel like it comes in between my marriage. After all, I try to stop the problem, correct it, and move on, yet I end up fighting with my wife. She doesn't want to speak to me for days, maybe a week at a time, and it's confusing because I'm doing nothing wrong. This past episode, my other child came for the weekend, and I didn't even have the door
Closed behind us from getting home, and already started to try to get a reaction out of her. (I speak with her alone about the behavior problems, and she handles them well.) Anyway, she ignores and ignores it. The next day, he kept going into her room and attempting to make her feel stupid by repeatedly saying rude things. Finally, she said something back that was innocent, and it hurt his feelings. He went and told his mom, who got mad at me because I told her he shouldn't have kept pestering her (all she said was his breath stinks, by the way). I know it sounds so stupid, but it's the same thing repeatedly, and I do not know what to do anymore. It feels to me whenever he is acting out, the mom is mad at me, and I feel super sad and sometimes alone during these phases. I'm just curious if anyone else goes through this and if they have a positive way to move past it and be a solid family.
I try to be as careful as I can but nothing will stop her. Wether it's climbing on the bed and then falling off or just climbing on literally anything(tables, chairs, boxes, etc) she just doesn't stop. I thought it would just be a one time thing where she falls off or falls backwards off of but she falls then gets back up and does the exact same thing. I can never be too safe but I can't be constantly watching her when I have to do housework. I do have a playpen and I use it a lot but sometimes she just screams to be let out so she can follow me then she just wanders around. I don't like keeping her in the playpen all day though but when I don't she is constantly getting hurt. Is this a weird behavior though? I feel like toddlers would get hurt a few times then stop doing the thing that's hurting them but she keeps repeating? Is it normal or should I start seeing a professional?
Our son (5m) has always been very high energy and has been slower developing impulse control. He seems to need a lot of physical contact/attention - both affection and more wrestling/rough play. Redirection isn't working and his testing behaviors are escalating including being too rough with his little sister (2f). He is in Kindergarten, one of the youngest ones, and is on track/ahead academically but his social/emotional/behavioral skills are lagging. He frequently struggles to sit still and focus during carpet time, disrupting class and other students by rolling around and/or yelling out. Sometimes he struggles to maintain personal space and will just poke, touch with his foot, etc. others and mess with people, too. As a parent, it is so hard as he is testing boundaries and pushing buttons so hard, more frequently and in riskier or more hurtful ways.
Flip side is he is very empathetic outside of these outbursts. His teacher highlights how endearing of a friend he is and he takes great care of his sister otherwise, helping her and doting on her even. He has great charisma and personality, in preschool he had a lot of friends, and approaches and plays well with new kids at the park.
Pediatrician said he doesn't think ADHD necessarily but more attention and sensory seeking behaviors based on observations of him during appointments. Met with a clinician and they said too early to tell, but also seemed more anxiety versus hyperactivity. The more uncomfortable and anxious he became, the worse the behaviors were.
Our daughter is also watching and learning from his behavior and we do not want her to develop the same bad habits. She is even more bold and ballsy, and responds to redirection or immediate consequences fairly well, but is starting to become more challenging each day it seems. Our house is often very loud and the sensory overload can be immense with no end in sight. I've tried whispering to them and singing to calm the yelling, tried the volume dial down but nothing works for more than a minute or two and half the time he does the opposite. My husband and I try to give each other quiet time away but we struggle to take it because they are so young we get such little time as it is before bed so we wait until late and then it isn't even refreshing, just silent exhaustion.
I guess I'm looking for resources, advice, support. Our patience runs bone dry some days and as much as we don't want to yell, it's happening more as we hit wits end. We worry for his friendships and social life at school. We worry about his academic reputation if he continues to be so disruptive. We worry for our relationship with him and for the influence our dynamics have in the house as a whole.
Bloomberg is reporting that Costco is switching manufacturers for its popular Kirkland Signature brand of diapers. First Quality is replacing Kimberly-Clark Corp. as the maker of Costco’s diapers, with the official change set to happen in January.
Probably explains why there haven't been any big sales on Kirkland diapers, lately.
Has anyone had any experiences with First Quality diapers? I'm not finding much online...
Long story short our toddler is resisting bed time and was crying to the point they would throw up. They did this for hours until I started telling them the options they had were to go to bed or go to time out for not listening.
I hate this. She use to be such a little joy to put down and now it’s frustrating — mix in potty training and we have to do the same thing at night when she wakes up to pee.
Am I taking this approach wrong? She will make every excuses under the sun not to go to bed. Idk how much more I can last doing this. Someone please help or at least let me know if what I’m doing is ok.
My daughter and son have a 16 year age difference. I recently had to move into my mom's cause well shitty happens. This is also where my son lives. He pays her (my mom, his grandma) rent and what not. Anyways sometimes he is an absolute jerk tho his little sister. I would say he's behaving like a bully. What do I do. I want to tell him. "You get in your sister's face, push her around or start yelling at her again I'm gonna fuck you up myself and show you what it's like to be in the position where you can't do anything about it". But that may not be the best approach. All view points are valid. And I'll answer any questions that are productive to the conversation.
My youngest niece 6 yo has turned into a Fn crybaby. I’m 1000000% sure it’s bc she watches YouTube all the damn time and it pisses me off. I’ve changed my moms and grandmas phone passwords but they give her the passkey. When I take the phone away from her she has a chaotic breakdown. She’s been having behavioral issues and is so rude sometimes. I only buy her puzzles or other kind of interactive toys, lots of paints and stuff to paint on but they prefer to be on the phone. Plz help find alternatives for when she does have screen time. How to delete YouTube everywhere
Sincerely, a stupid mean auntie who is no fun 🥲
As the title says, ill be travelling alone with my little one in a few months. This isnt my first time but the last time I did this alone she was 4 months old and slept through the entire flight. Shes old enough now that shes in her own seat, I was lucky enough to get a flight where the plane is small and is only two seats rather than three.
So im hoping for some opinions and strategies. Here are the stats:
-Flight is around 4hrs -Daytime flight outside of regular napping hours so the chances of her sleeping is low -we dont usually do long screen time but im willing to give it a shot for peace on this plane. -shes usually a very peaceful girl but she will be about 2.5 at the time of the flight and im ready for the pre-threens tantrums
Snacks will be packed, shes not potty trained yet so no worries about the toilets. I just want to be prepared and maybe get some tips that work for yall.
Also if anyone knows a good set of headphones for little ones I can get in Canada, thatd be great too because then she can at least listen to her music (she loves kpop)
I had to enroll my 2yr old in the same center my 5yr old goes to Pre K so I could look for a job. The terms and conditions of the program that helps us pay for daycare was that they have to go full time(5hrs+). My 5yr old starts at 8am and his pre k program ends at 11am but that is only 3hrs so I have to leave them 2 extra hours which by then, it's nap time so I don't pick them up until after nap time. Both of them have made amazing friends, both have best friends. My 2yr old bestie is L and my 5yr olds best is A. They have grown very attached to their friends and their teacher. I finally found a job and was thinking about modifying their schedule to where they would only go until 11am but my 5yr old begs me to keep him there until after nap time and I genuinely miss them so much! Would it be mean of me to cut them down to only part time? I can make my appointments before I have to pick them up or I can take my 2yr old but I'm about to have a baby and thinking about how much help daycare would be since I have no family help. Any advice?!
Hi everyone, we are first-time parents, and we're at our wits' end with our 4-year-old daughter. Lately, it feels like she’s turning our lives upside down, and we're not sure how to handle it. We love her, but the constant stress is taking a serious toll on both of us.
Here’s what’s been happening:
We’re at a loss and feel like we’re failing as parents. Has anyone been through something similar or have any advice on how we can manage her behavior? We really don’t know what to do next.
PS: We’ve ruled out any potential underlying issues (no ADHD or anything like that). It’s just her behavior that’s the problem.
Any tips or support would be so appreciated. Thank you!
Tonight my toddler is desperately begging for a Mommy hug. The night was going great, I hugged her twice before leaving because it's Daddy's night to put her down and now she's been SCREAMING for the past 30min, running desperately to find me, and just repeating that she wants a Mommy hug. I know that if I give in it'll continue because 1 hug isn't enough or she'll switch to wanting something else.
We try redirecting but she is so fixated she just screams more. We try tasks with praise but she won't comply because she's so fixated.
I just don't know what to do. I'm sitting here crying because she's begging for me but I know giving in won't help or will encourage this behaviour more
We've had a Nanny for about 6 months and so far it has been ok. She recently approached us to tell us that she lied about how many children she has in her interview. In the interview she said she had 1 child in preschool. It turns out she has 7 school aged children.
Her rationale for lying was that we would never have hired her if we knew from the beginning. She is telling us now as she feels she has proved that she can do her job and she was feeling guilty about hiding it from us.
On one hand, she's right. We probably would've assumed she has too much going on at home and would likely need a lot of time off so we wouldn't have chosen her.
On the other hand, now we feel like we can't trust her fully. My gut says we should part ways. But also, firing a mother of 7 children so close to christmas would make me a feel like a villian from a Charles Dickens novel.
What would you do?
EDIT: Thanks for the replies.
Why did we ask about how many children she had in the interview?
It naturally came up in some interviews and seemed like a good question to ask at the time. Finding out what their philosophy on childcare and parenting was and seeing if we match. And, yes we were worried about someone who would need a lot of time off. In hindsight, wasn't smart and we won't ask in future.
Are there other issues?
Small things. But nothing crazy.
So why fire her?
We don't want to. We like her and she's great with our child.
But it's less about what we want and more about trying to do what's best for our child. The lie she told was understandable. Firing her now would prove her right.
But right or wrong, now there's doubt. If there's a worse lie waiting for us in the future, and our child is hurt, it feels like we will be responsible for not doing something about it now.
I believe we won't fire her on the condition that there aren't any more lies.