We donated our embryos a few months ago. A few days ago, we got the news that the first transfer didn't work. I'm not good with words. What is something simple I can say to let the adopting person know that our thoughts are with them?

I hope this makes sense. I had some complicated feelings I had to work through too, mainly I felt like we had somehow let the adopting person down. There are more embryos though and they are going to try again.

Hi, I'm new here I just found this subreddit after trying to find some info on embryo donation. I am 100% not ready to donate our embryo yet, and I am not sure if I will or not. I'm sorry if this post is too long but I'd like to share my situation. Skip to the end of you need to.

Here is my backstory: We started IVF in June last year, just did an egg retriveal and freeze all. We had been trying for over 2 years at that point and started IVF because we had experience a chemical pregnancy and a miscarriage of a chromosomally normal male concieved naturally, then had trouble getting pregnant and had 3 unsuccessful IUIs. From that one ER, we got 1 excellent graded euploid female embryo and 1 aneuploid male. I was 35 and only had 1 ovary so I knew I probably wouldn't get very much.

Because we had only got 1 euploid embryo, I had planned another ER to try to get more embryos. I was supposed to do another cycle in July but doctor cancelled it because I had 2 large follicles started to grow at my baseline scan so he said to wait til August. However, to our shock and surprise we ended up pregnant naturally the month after the egg retriveal. Our daughter was born healthy on March 12th.

I am fortunate to now be in a situation where we got the baby wed been trying for for 3 years, and when me and my husband got married 3 years ago we had been totally open to having 2 or more babies. I have 2 sons from previous relationships and my husband has 1 son from a previous relationship. With the way things are nowadays, inflation is going up and everything is becoming crazy expensive, having more than 1 baby now seems like it'd be extremely difficult and expensive. I'm obviously not ready mentally to donate my euploid embryo, it's possible that we could make having another child work, but I just don't know. The embryo storage will start costing us $50 a month in July. I am totally willing to pay as long as I need but also I have to cut my work schedule down to part time to avoid putting my daughter in daycare. Money is going to be tight. I know that people say do not give up your embryos until you are totally 100% sure you're done.

I just wanted to come on here and gather some information. I have some questions .

1. How did you know you were done having kids? At one point did you decide to donate? What factors did you consider

2. Is this something all clinics do? Will people accept 1 embryo to donate or do they require multiple?

3. Can you require the recipient family stays in touch with you and sends you pictures? It would nice if they were potentially open to that since if they were successful they would have a daughter and I have a daughter....they could possibly know each other. Is that weird to want to do that? Do most recipient just want to have a private adoption and not have anything to do with the other family? Does anyone have any posituve experience with keeping in touch with the recipient family?

4. Did you feel regretful or guilty after donating your embryo/s?

5. Do you need to get a lawyer for this process? Who handles the legal aspects of the embryo donation?

6. I have high functioning autism with no intellectual deficits. Would this disqualify me from donating? All of my children have been born healthy..my oldest son also was evaluated for autism as a toddler and I believe they did diagnose him but the doctor also told me he didn't have it even though the paper said he did. Based on this history, would people not want my embryo?

Someone close to me found out at 17 that they were conceived via embryo adoption. They are now 23 and are looking for others to connect with who have this same story.

Lots of people on this page are looking to donate or receive donated embryos. But is there anyone on here that is an embryo adopted child? Anyone close to 23 years old?

Thanks!

We donated about 5 embryos anonymously about 15 years ago. At the time I thought that was best . Now that my threee children are getting older , I often think about those embryos. I think there is a good chance they tuned into at least one baby because we got a letter from the clinic saying our embryos had gotten chosen with someone elses and they were transferring them together . Not sure why they told us that in an anonymous situation

Even though it was anonymous is there anyway for me to find out about any possible children?

To be honest I’m not sure what the result would be - whether I would want to meet them or their family or anything , I’m honestly not sure how I feel about it but just to know if that makes sense.

I recently decided to reword parts of our profile on multiple platforms because apparently people have different definitions of what an open relationship looks like. We've also recently decided to look at the number of embryos a donor family has on a case-by-case basis depending on the quality and whether or not they've been genetically tested. For example, we are open to untested embryos if there are plenty of them but will also consider a smaller batch if the embryos are genetically normal.

Have anyone else experienced their preferences changing while looking for donors or recipients?

A little information about me. I am 37 and live in New York. I love my job as an esthetician and excel at it. After getting my regular esthetic license at Long Island Nails, Skin and Hair institute and receiving multiple extra certifications through them I decided I wanted to be able to provide the best care to all of my clients and attended The National Institute of Medical Esthetics. The world of esthetics is always evolving therefore I am always taking classes to improve skill set. I actually enjoy going to school. I also work on post operative cosmetic patients helping them to heal quicker and getting their best possible results with lymphatic drainage. Before the pandemic I had a thriving bridal makeup artist business that I am now just getting back into. I am a huge animal lover and have 3 rescue cats and 2 rescue dogs. Both dogs were professionally trained and very well mannered. My golden doodle is the most loving gentle dog in the world and loves babies. Whenever my friends come over with their infants she cannot be more than 4 feet away she’s so in love. When they cry she tries to cheer them up by bringing them her favorite toy. My other dog is indifferent to infants, he does not like them or dislike them they are just kind of there in his eyes BUT once that infant grows to be a toddler he falls deeply in love with them and has a blast running around and playing supervised. I am also a very goal oriented person that works hard to achieve the things I want. I lost over 150lbs 6 years ago without the aid of any kind of gastric bypass surgery. I did it the old fashion way by making healthier food choices and working out at the gym and kickboxing. I also believe people should be judged by the content of their character and nothing else. If you’d like to know more I would be glad to tell you.

Now on to my IVF journey: A month after my 35th birthday I decided I wanted to finally become a mom. My biggest issue was I was single. So I decided to find a fertility specialist because why wait I knew I could do this all on my own. My doctor wasn’t worried I was in good health and I left confident it was only a matter of time till I would start my first cycle but, boy was I wrong.

Then problem after problem began to pop up. The testing took MONTHS. First I had a blocked fallopian tube not the biggest deal, but still not ideal. More concerning where the teratomas that were found on both ovaries, teratomas are non-cancerous tumors that grow body parts like eyes, fingers, spines, teeth and hair. I had a choice. I could try IVF with them in and be very very careful or have them removed, removing them would severely lower my AMH. Leaving them in would leave me at high risk for ovarian torsion during stims. Torsion is where the ovary and fallopian tubes twists because the tumor becomes so heavy. Within minutes of torsion the ovary can die due to lack of blood flow and oxygen. I was stuck between really unforgiving rocks. The teratomas were borderline sized, so it was 50-50 on whether or not I needed to remove them. Only 10% of woman go into torsion without stims with teratomas my size. I didn’t know what to do so I wanted a second opinion with a totally new clinic, before I made it to that appointment I fell into that 10%. The pain was insane. My left ovary and fallopian tube twisted not once but twice. If gotten to in time sometimes the ovary can be saved but by the time they got me in the OR the organ was already decaying. I lost my entire left ovary and half of my right. The recovery was both physically and emotionally brutal. They were some of the worst and darkest moments of my life. All my life I have wanted a child and I was watching my dreams going down the drain and was helpless to stop it. After healing from all of that I was going to finally try IVF. 2 weeks before I was going to start priming I woke up in excruciating pain. I ended up back in the hospital with four very large gall stones so I needed another surgery to remove another organ. Within 4 months I lost 2 and 1/2 organs I just had really bad luck. After healing from everything my attempts at IVF have failed. My AMH has crashed down to .13 and am a poor responder, my last cycle I was on stims for 25 days, only got two eggs, one was poor quality and useless while the second began to fertilize but mid way in it arrested. Emotionally and physically I simply cannot handle more IVF cycles and feel a donor embryo is what is best for me. From my first doctor visit to the time I was able to finally try my first IVF treatment was two very heartbreaking years. My doctor says I will have no problems carrying a child, my uterus is in his words pristine, for me its the ovaries. My whole life I've wanted to become a mother but I need help to fulfill that life long dream. My hope is someone reading this post will help me make that dream a real
If anyone thinks they may be able to help or has questions please feel free to message me

Does anyone know if there is an IVF clinic in California that has an internal donor embryo program?

Hi there . We are hoping to donate our one pgta tested embryo. I've posted on NRFA and on the Facebook donor group. Anywhere else I can get our info out there for a private donation before I have to go with an agency. I know the hold up is most likely just having one embryo to donate as well us not wanting to move forward with the donation until after may 2024. I figured it'd take a few weeks to get to know a potential match so maybe the may thing isn't a hold up but 🤷 who knows.

I send lots of donors message expressing my interest in their embryos, but they don't respond back. What's the point of posting about wanting to donate embryos if you're not going to reply to any messages??? And if you did end up finding a match or changing your mind, then at least be honest with me about it instead of totally ignoring me.

Sorry just needed to rant.

We are a Caucasian couple from Alberta with four embryos that we are looking to donate.

We had one heck of a ride with IVF and our little one is 2 months old now. We’d love for another family to experience.

These embryos are not tested - this was at the discretion of our clinic. This was because the embryos are created with an egg donor (in her 20s) with a few of her own children already. They didn’t see it as important for us to do.

If you’re interested, please send me a message!

My husband and I have completed our family thanks to IVF. We are looking to donate our remaining embryos. We have one pgt tested normal embryo and one that did not test positive. My question is is the one that tested abnormal still one that would be eligible for donation? I know there's lots of controversy around pgt testing. I'm not sure if any places will accept this particular type of embryo or if intended parents would "risk" transfering it. Im trying to find the best part for us on this donation journey

After a year and a half of being on a waiting list my wife and I just got a call from the University that it is our time. Super excited and super nervous.

We have our first appointment tomorrow there and my question is this for the families that have gone through this. What questions do you wish you asked? Or what questions did you ask about the process? I'm sure we'll get a lot of answers tomorrow but I just want to be as prepared as I can be going into this.

I am almost positive im experiencing a second chemical after a chemical last month as well. Both following FET of euploid embryos. These were the only two embryos we got after two rounds of IVF and 4 years of trying.. we cannot afford to do another full IVF cycle after all these costs.

I am wondering if there are any couples nearby with biracial embryos available for adoption? My husband is black Jamaican and I am white Canadian if anyone here has and embryos to donate or knows anyone I would love to speak to you/them.

We are located in the GTA and pretty close to Buffalo so that could also work! Thank you.

Can anyone share information surrounding donating your eggs in qld , Australia. Whats is the best place to contact for information

I would like to hear from families, donor or recipients, that have an open embryo adoption and what the “open” looks like for different families. I’ve heard recipient families agreeing to open and then not following thru with it. I understand the desperate desire to be a parent and worry that recipients may agree and then back out.

With everything happening in Alabama Supreme Court and their ruling that frozen embryos are children. And how that is going to affect IVF/egg donation as a whole. I now feel a huge pull to donate my embryos bc there is a chance we will be forced to keep them frozen.

We were going to use an organization but I feel like that will take too long now as most want a health screening, blood work, ect (even tho the embryos were created 9 years ago).

I just don’t know what to do now.

Well, folks, the title says it all. Last week, Embryo Connections sent us a profile of a donor that for once we were interested in. Today, on Valentine's Day of ALL days, Embryo Connections tells us that the donor chose another family. To say that we're shocked and heartbroken would be a massive understatement. I was starting to feel much hope again only for it to be shat on. I'm really hoping there's another donor family that will be an even better match for us, but I'm starting to wonder if we're just chasing after a pipe dream.

Anyone else have any experiences being rejected by a donor family? Please share with me your experience if you have.

Are there families that would be interesting in adopting embryos my husband and I created when we were in our 20’s, that have now been frozen for over 18 years?

I am a donor parent with 2 embryos going through a match agency. My husband and I are white and they matched us with a black couple. I am wondering what the considerations would be for a donor child growing up with different racial parents. I am not sure how to feel about it.

Hi all!

Does anyone know of, or would anyone like to form an embryo donor support group?

Specifically for people who have already gone through, or are actively completing steps on embryo donation.

I'm using my anonymous account because I don't know if the recipient family might see it. We found each other with social media, so I thought it was better to be safe than sorry. Not that there would be anything to be sorry about, lol, I just would rather them not know.

We donated our one remaining embryo last year, and recently found out that their transfer worked and they're expecting a baby later this year. I'm having all the feelings (mostly good, but some confusing) and would love to find, or set up a group to chat about it. Maybe some real time chats, or even video calls if people would be into that. Maybe on a regular(ish) schedule, just to have some people who understand all the feels.

Embryo donation isn't very common, so the resources are limited and it's hard to find people.

Let me know if anyone is interested!

I see a lot of people here either looking for or offering embryos...how does that work? I tried looking at old posts etc and can't find info. Like, do you pay someone to adopt their embryo privately? Do you have to go through a clinic to transfer custody?

We have a few frozen embryos that are in search of the right family for open donation.

If you are located in the USA and are interested in adopting these embryos, we kindly request that you provide us with your details. Please include any relevant information about your background, family, and why you are interested in adopting embryos.

Hey y'all!

My husband and I are looking for at least 4 embryos for about 9 months now after our IVF cycle failed last year due to crappy eggs and sperm. We have tried going through Embryo Connections, Empower with Moxi, and NRFA but still haven't found any donors that fit what we are looking for. Even though we are Christian and would like to match with a Christian couple, we don't want to go through Snowflakes or NEDC as they both require home studies and we don't feel they're that necessary. Plus, we view this as another way to get pregnant, not adopting a child. And the NEDC requires that you travel to their clinic and we rather not do that because 1) we want to stick with clinic because we like and trust our doctor and know that they accept a lot of outside embryos and 2) my husband just started his current job about a few months ago and needs to accrue some more leave before we do a bunch of traveling.

We are looking to have an open relationship with occasional contact with our donors. We also would like to wait until our children are ready to meet our donor family to do in-person visits. Our criteria for donors are:

• Christian couple
• Similar eye colors as us (blue and/or green eyes)
• Similar heritage as us (English/German on my side and Irish/Scottish/French on his)
• Willing to have embryos shipped to our clinic for the reasons listed above

We have also recently joined some Facebook groups and made a few posts. However, we're still waiting to get approved from a couple of them and from the few posts I already made, I received a few comments and PMs but (so far) no offers of embryos. But I probably need to be more patient with the Facebook groups as we just joined them.

Would anyone be willing to share their experience with Facebook groups for embryo donors and recipients? Any suggestions you can give us on finding the right donors for us?

All our forms are signed, the blood tests are done, the interviews are done. Now it's just waiting to call them in 1.5 years to find out if anything happened.

We threw some seeds to the wind. We may never know what happens to them.

My wife and I have tried for kids for ten years now; went through three failed cycles of IVF from 2020-2021 (my sperm and her eggs, but turns out there is an issue with eggs); we took a break, then November of ‘22 we were placed on a waiting list for a donated embryo through our Reproductive clinic and have heard very little since - so we’d like to look into adopting an embryo on our own. Any advice or help would be a blessing and very much appreciated.

Hi, I'm looking to see of anyone has any information about donating in the UK. I have 7 embryos left and I'm currently pregnant with my last child so I'm hoping to donate the 7 left but I'm not sure how. I have a medical condition (crohns disease) so not sure if I can even donate them tbh. I'm not looking to make any money or anything I just want to give someone the chance to have a family.

Hiya,

My husband and I did IVF with donor eggs and my sperm in 2013. We had one fresh SET and one frozen SET two years later with the same surrogate - both successful and we have two happy and healthy kiddos. We held onto our remaining 6, 5-day embryos (all high quality), but have finally decided definitively that we don’t want any more children. We had such luck on both our journeys, I’d love to donate our embryos to folks who need them. My husband and the egg donor (found through an agency, but we have an open relationship - in contact a few times per year) are more hesitant, but I think could be convinced if we could find a good known donor program. Our clinic (REACH in Charlotte, NC), where the embryos are stored, only offers de-identified donations (anonymous on both sides with no way of ever having knowledge or contact - even if initiated by the child when they turn 18), which I’m also not comfortable with - I don’t want to pick the family, but I also want the option to have contact if the child or receiving family wants it.

Can folks recommend a good known embryo donor program or agency? I would prefer a program that works with families dealing with infertility vs religious or snowflake-type programs.

Thank you very much!

Has anyone had issues donating eggs here?

Anyone had issues as an egg donor with this clinic?

I'm not sure if my wording is right, because it's technically correct but feels a little wrong. But last weekend, a baby was born from the embryos we donated. The family are lovely, and we honestly feel the baby is going to have a wonderful life.

We've been kept in the loop the whole way through, and knew the birth date, so it wasn't a surprise. We still had an emotional moment tho - the embryo was leftover from the batch of our eldest, in another life it may have been our child. But overall, we're just happy, and so excited that this baby is born to these wonderful parents. And I love that it's another person in our children's lives, because I don't think you can ever have too many "persons".