I was all set to have an FET next week. Medications, monitoring, etc. Went in on Wednesday and there was a shadow on the ultrasound - I took a pregnancy test at the IVF office and it was positive (despite me being on birth control, etc for the last few months).

We had two days of cautious hope, then a blood test yesterday showed a drop in HCG levels - it’s my third miscarriage. FET is now delayed another two months.

Needed to share somewhere to get it out of my head. Sigh…

Hi all,

I have pcos, and don't ovulate. Tried one cycle of letrozole with OB, positive OPK, but got a ruptured cyst- painful! Since I'm 36 and with PCOS diagnosis, my husband and I have decided to go to a fertility specialist.

TLDR What can I expect on my first appointment, and testings moving forward before proceeding with IUI?

Thank you all I'm advance!

I’m at a loss for words. I just found out our first IUI failed AFTER our clinic told me earlier this week my pregnancy test (blood test) came back positive.

Apparently our clinic’s barcode label they use is outdated, so when my bloodwork was sent to the testing center at their other location, they had to remove that label and print out a new one for the blood vial to make it compatible with their system. Somehow, my bloodwork was mishandled and I got someone else’s results.

They told me Wednesday that my bloodwork came back positive and the IUI was successful. After I went back this morning to measure my levels again, I got home and started bleeding heavily (it turned out that it was my regular period). I was fully convinced that I had lost the pregnancy. A few hours later, I got a call from the clinic saying that the barcode system mixed up my results and I was actually negative the entire time. How does this happen?!

I fully prepared myself during the TWW for the possibility that this could not work the first time. My husband and I were blown away when we got that call on Wednesday and were on this two day high of happiness. Now we’re back at square one, in the weirdest way possible. I feel like I have the worst luck in the world.

So my husband and I have been trying to conceive for 3 years. I am 36 years old and have stage 4 endometriosis. In July, I had surgery for the endo. Then in August, I had pancreatitis caused by my gallbladder (impacted with stones). My gallbladder was removed. I've had multiple periods since everything happened, but now I haven't had one for over 40 days. Every pregnancy test has been negative, including my blood test on 10/28. I just finished a course of progesterone to trigger my period so that we can start the process in earnest.

While my current job is very, very flexible, it's a sinking ship. An absolute dumpster fire. It's a rather specific situation, so I'm trying to be general. We went from a whole (albeit small) department to a department of one...me. After negotiating extra compensation (which they don't have the money for), I was still lucky enough to get a new job.

My concern is that we are out of town 11/14-11/21 and my new job starts 11/25. My period **should** start within 14 days of finishing the progesterone. Then the IUI meds timeline. I'm afraid of 1) missing out on this round due to travel, and most importantly, 2) messing up my new job.

I told them that I would require flexibility due to a lot of doctor's appointments. I'm looking into ADA accommodation for fertility issues, but don't want to throw that at them immediately or give them a reason to regret hiring me, even though I know they really like my experience and I mesh with the team.

I even have written out multiple timelines to see what would be best, which I obviously have no control over anyway. I know that I am overthinking things. But if anyone has ANY advice or insight, it would be greatly appreciated.

I am heartbroken… I am 32 (33 this December). AMH currently 1.16, tubal factor (one blocked, other salphigectomy). Had partial oophorectomy on one side due to a tumor. No MF. Husband is 34. I had two cycles in Bangladesh. First yielded one day 3 embryo- they transferred it and it failed to implant. Second cycle in Bangladesh yielded 3 day 3 embryos. Of those, 2 were transferred when they became day 4 morulae. Did not implant. Third cycle in the US at Shady Grove- started with Follistim 300 and Menopur (started with 150 went upto 375), triggered with Ovidrel along with a boost of Follistim 450. 12 eggs retrieved, 6 mature, 1 fertilized but it’s growth stopped at morula on day 6. I have still requested my clinic to see if they can freeze it. I know morulae are transferred in some clinics and some parts of the world and some have even found success with it. My doctor at Shady Grove said based on the embryology report 3 eggs died upon ICSI, and 1 failed to fertilize. She noted that I have tough membranes around my eggs. She suggested I do a “long luteal protocol” during the next cycle, in addition to doing DNA frag test and possibly conventional insemination if DNA fragments results are normal. She thinks ICSI may not be right for my eggs because they have tough membranes. She also said I have poor egg quality and that this next cycle will probably be my last before I need to move to donor egg/sperm cycles. I cannot and do not want to use donor egg or sperm because of religious reasons. I asked about omnitrope - she dismissed it saying it has no proven benefits, I asked about estrogen priming she said it’s more important for follicle growth so not relevant for me (since I had 5 follicles above 15mm).

Do you think I should get a second opinion? I am in Baltimore, Maryland. Perhaps Johns Hopkins?

Should I accept that we will probably never be parents? Not at least to our biological children?

Infertility sucks and so does Debra in accounting, who just came back from her maternity leave. Who are you mad at IRL this week? Call out anyone who has wronged you and add a nice "fuck you" at the end. Or just type out a whole bunch of swears. We won't tell on you.

I’ve been trying to conceive for 5 years, had one miscarriage two years and have seen countless doctors. We had a lovely dr in the states and we were about to do IUI right as I fell pregnant. After I miscarried, my husband and I were devastated and as fertility treatments are so expensive in the US, we decided to love to Spain (not just for fertility, my husband got a job offer but more affordable fertility really pushed us to take the opportunity). I’ve seen a handful of doctors who all tell me to lose 50 lbs before we can consider treatments. As a woman with pcos, losing 50 lbs is a lot easier said than done. I’ve voiced how much difficulty I have to lose weight and my concerns get ignored. I’m feeling very defeated these days and unsure if this will ever happen for us. I was recommended to try ozempic for weight loss but I am a little weary of it. Has anyone used ozempic for weight loss with pcos? If so, what was your experience?

Do I want a baby? The answer to that used to be simple. It was always yes. Eager. Happy. Something worth looking forward to. Over the years it didn’t happen. Ten years. Ten years of wanting and wishing and then silently breaking and mourning the loss of something I've never had. The experience. The shared joy. Watching it happen for those surrounding me, over and over. Muttering “I’m so happy for you” while internally battling the jealousy and sorrow for myself and then the followed guilt for feeling those things in the first place. Do I keep holding on to that hope or toss in the towel? Perpetually between a rock and a hard place.

“Do you guys want kids?” “When are you going to have a baby?” “You two would make very cute babies.” Questions and statements that aren’t meant to be harmful feel like rubbing salt in an open wound. An open wound that no one else knows is there. No one knows because them knowing could only be worse, right? Sympathy feels just as bad as naivety. Poor, poor, pitiful me. I don’t need anyone knowing that because my body can’t do the thing it’s built to do that the rest of me struggles to function. Feeling perpetually stuck.

Walking through stores picking out tiny perfect baby clothes and expensive boxes of diapers to deliver to someone else’s baby shower. Watching their family and friends dote on their pregnant bellies and ultrasound pictures. “Mommy” may never be a word muttered in my direction.

Holding back the tears stinging my eyes and clinging to the hope that my time will come. But eventually that hope slips and I can keep trying to snatch it back but eventually I’m left holding tattered shreds of what could have been.

Do I want a baby? I don’t know anymore. I tell myself it’s because I can picture my life both with and without a baby. I didn’t used to be able to picture my life without a baby. I thought if it didn’t happen for me that it would destroy me. That’s not the case anymore. But am I just convincing myself of that because I am attempting to accept that the odds are not in my favor and I’m trying to protect the last tattered shred of hope that remains? To make it feel like a decision and not a failure? I’ve distanced myself from the pain over the years. Pushed it out, kept it at arms length, and kept the tears out there with it. Only letting it close enough to overcome me sometimes when I’m alone and the house is quiet.

It’s such a hard thing to explain all the emotions that come with this experience. The hope, the excitement, the desire, the hurt, the tears, the jealousy, and the guilt. The guilt might be the hardest to deal with. How can you be so hurt over not having this one thing when you have so much? How can your beliefs be rocked when you’re already so blessed? When does the threat of the negative emotions overshadow the desire to continue?

“You could try IVF” “There’s always adoption”. Maybe one day I will get to that point but I’m not there yet. The emotional rollercoaster has had more downs and twists than ups. You think you’re finally going to go up and you take a sharp left instead. Whiplash never feels good and after so many trips it’s not safe to continue.

Do I want a baby? Yes. No. The question now makes my head spin. I say yes, and feel nervous tingles run along my skin that whispers “it’ll never happen”. I say no, and the whisper is replaced by a screech of “you’ll regret that”.

I’ve spent years therapy-talking myself into submission, “You’re not a failure if you can’t carry a baby”, “you were put here to do more than carry a baby”, “you will have a good life no matter the outcome”. Some days it works and some days it doesn’t. Some days I don’t think twice about it and others it’s the only thing I can think of while uncontrollable tears stream down my face.

Will I have a baby? Well, that one is still to be determined. I do know that no matter what road I decide to travel down that I’ll be okay. Carrying a baby may not be in my cards but I’ll keep reshuffling the deck until I’m satisfied with the result, because I do know that no matter how this turns out for me that I will have a good life. A full life. A happy life.

The other day, the man I am dating told me that he is ambivalent about being a relationship with me because I am not pregnant. We have tried naturally So far. I’m 43. I struggled with unexplained infertility with my ex-husband for many years, but didn’t do IVF because I was scared to go through it unless he stopped drinking and he wouldn’t stop. He then left because he wanted kids. I feel so powerless. Like I keep getting punished for infertility even though I’m not doing anything wrong. Sometimes I feel so worthless. It seems like there can never be any life ahead.

Infertility is hard, and we all have coping mechanisms. Sometimes we need to just treat ourselves. Whether it's eating cheetos all day and marathoning your comfort show, a video game, a really great recipe you just made, or a haul from a store you love, what is your treat this week?

Hi, I am 41 and a half years old, and I have very low AMH levels. I am not undergoing any fertility treatments because I would need a significant amount of money for multiple egg retrievals—around 8 to 12. I'm trying to accept that I am childless not by choice and that I might not become a mom. However, I still want a baby and am asking the universe for a miracle. Sometimes, I feel depressed and have trouble sleeping.

Last week, I visited my gynecologist seeking answers, and he suggested that I look for a therapist. I have been checking online, but I haven't found a therapist who specializes in infertility. I'm wondering if therapy can really help. I want a baby and am unsure if a therapist can assist me in accepting life without children. I previously talked to a therapist about the benefits of not having kids, so I understand those aspects, but I still experience baby fever and feel sad because I can't have a child.

Can therapists help with acceptance? What type of therapist should I look for? When I search for therapists on websites like “Psychology Today,” I often find social workers instead of doctors or psychologists. Honestly, I don't want to waste my money and not receive the help I need.

I got my period today and I'm heartbroken. I know the odds for IUI are not high but I still had my hopes up. This was the last possible attempt in 2024 according to my approved protocol with my doctor. We will start the process for IVF in January/February. I don't know how I'll go through the holidays having to put on a fake smile around my family as they inquire when I'll finally give my parents grandchildren. I hate all the waiting and guesswork involved. I've spent half the year wishing time accelarated so I can get to my next doc appointment or the end of a TWW. And the other half wishing time slowed down so I didn't get older/my odds get slimmer, wishing that my husband and parents didn't age. I feel so depressed and defeated.

Please use this thread to discuss your feelings, plans for the future, etc. due to the outcome of the election. For ease of moderation, other stand-alones on this topic may be removed. Comments defending republican views on reproductive healthcare will be removed and commenters may be subject to ban.

ETA: This is not a debate thread and we all know what Trump has said. This is for people grieving what will inevitably be the loss of women’s rights. If you don’t think that will happen move on, do not comment it here. If you feel the need to comment that he wants to protect IVF you will be permanently-banned. This is a safe place for venting and grieving. If you require education on why people are upset, try an out of the loop or political sub.

What's making you say "WTF?!" this week?

 Hey there

So I just need a place to vent, and I hope this might be a good fit for me.

My partner and I have struggled with infertility for years now. After a while I was diagnosed with PCOS. We got approved for IVF earlier this fall, and will begin the process in January.

My younger sister knows all of this and how the struggle has been. She herself had an early miscarriage about a year ago. While it was devastating to her, she took comfort in the fact that she at least could get pregnant.

She and her boyfriend started trying a few months ago – and wouldn’t you know it, they got it on the first try.

Fast forward to yesterday. I’m at work, and I get a message from my sister asking if I had a couple of minutes for her at some point during the day. I replied sure – she then immediately called me on video call. I told her I was at work and it wasn’t a good time.

She said “Too bad, go to the bathroom I need 2 minutes”

So I find the only quiet place in the office – one of those phone-booths with glass all around it.

And wouldn't you know – my younger sister is 8 weeks pregnant. Our oldest cousin who had her baby in February is on the call too for some reason.

I put on my bravest face, I tell her how I'm happy for her but also worried about her health because she has some early complications. I try to put my heart into it.

But I know I failed. Of course I did. I was blindsided, struck by that familiar bitterness and grief, and stuck in a fucking glass box in the middle of the office. It fel like my worst nightmare come to life. All I can think of is that I need to get to the nearest bathroom unseen fast.

I tell them I have to run, that I'm late for a meeting and that we'll talk later.

We hung up, I I left work for the day, cried on my way home, at home and then did the rest of my work in the evening.

And I feel like a crappy sister. I know how much this means to her, I want to be her biggest supporter and cheerleader. But why would she tell me like this? Why would she insist I do this face to face at work with another relative there?

I knew s he probably felt dissapointed in my reaction yesterday, so I called her in the morning to let her know again I am really excited and that I want to support her. She tells me she thought about how this might be a sensitive topic for me, but “she just had to tell me, because she was stressed about it”.

I think to myself that if you waited 8 weeks, surely you could have waited 2 hours for me not to be in public, but I only say that I wish she wouldn’t have told me at work.

Now a few hours later I’m getting messages where she’s justifying her telling me at work yesterday, and telling me she’s upset with me because I seemed happier when our cousin and one of my best friends announced their pregnancies.

Of course she wasn’t there when I was told so she has no idea how I reacted..
But I've reassured her again I'm excited, that I love her and support her.

Anyway, I wish it didn't happen like this. I feel like we started this whole journey in a bitter and negative way.. There's no point in me trying to get her to see my point of view, she has a lot of worry on her mind already, I don't want to add to that.

But I need to vent a bit.. So thank you for reading

I'm not sure how to process my emotions as a female in America in my late 20's who's been battling infertility with my husband for two years. Will I even have options at this point if Trump gets elected? Let alone receive medical care if something goes wrong.

I have never had a irregular cycle in my life I tried letrozole 2.5mg for the 1st time now I’m on Cd 35 and still no cycle my cycle have always be 28 days long since I was a teenager should I be worried I’m not sure what’s going on have anybody else went through this? With letrozole

Underwent laproscopy, extremely painful HSG, several ovulation induction cycles, hormone pills, three iuis, letrozoles and clomids. Spends thousands on astrology. Still no definitive answer. Panic attacks, depression, suicidal sometimes. Extremely negative about my body. Doing yoga since a year. It’s a roller coaster ride. And guess what, each and every report is better than normal. Not even pcos! What do i do now? Seems time is slipping and am unable to do anything. It’s really hard to find positivity.

How doing today? Let everybody know in gif, emoji, or text format.

Trying for 4 years on and off. More and more of husband’s family members are getting pregnant. What’s annoying is most of his family are very selfish and entitled. They’re a mean-spirited, petty bunch and very clique-ish to outsiders. I don’t know how I survived honestly.

Anyhoo, his younger cousin is on baby #2. The fact that all his younger cousins are getting pregnant (and I’m years older) is seen as a failure in the family and almost embarrassing (Asian American mentality but I don’t believe in it- it’s the parents/aunts/uncle). When she was pregnant with her first, we decided not to go. Her older brother (who is pretty much a parent to her) would not leave us alone and told us to attend his dad’s (side of the family) and their baby shower. They’re divorced. Like I said, most of his family members are very selfish and entitled. I know his mom would start petty “silent treatment” with us if we didn’t attend (if went, we would be on neutral territory which I prefer; I’m an easy target because I’m an outsider.) I don’t want to go but considering we missed her first kid’s 1st birthday and christening, we should at least stop by for an hour to make an appearance.

The only thing they want anyway are gifts and a head count. I just can’t do baby showers anymore. It’s really hard for me. I was able to tolerate it before but I can’t anymore, especially when family members try to be “helpful” and they give unsolicited advice or try to interrogate me. I’m lucky I haven’t experienced a loss but it’s been so hard the more time goes on and I get my period each month. It’s also going to be more of a cousin clique with them and all of their babies. I’ll feel more like an outsider.

Guess I’m just ranting and almost can’t believe how hard it is to attend these things. My sister told me to F it and just send a gift but the whole family is so close knit. I just want to lay low, stay neutral, and not get too involved but enough where I won’t be treated with disrespect.

Edit: and I’m so mad at myself because I’ve always been the type to be happy over someone’s good news, so this isn’t me right now. Of course, I’m happy for her but it’s more than I’m more upset for me.

The title is so dramatic, but that is how it feels. My husband and I have been TTC for a little over 2 years. Last year in November, I got my first and only positive pregnancy test - which wound up being ectopic. Tonight I opened instagram to see the 5th pregnancy announcement in JUST the first 4 days of November. My husband and I decided to take a break this month after 3 failed IUIS and us having no idea what to do next. It is just so hard to see people that aren't even trying or who just started and get pregnant immediately. I am happy for them, but it breaks my heart to see what feels like everyone else living what I am still longing for. The hardest part for me is not knowing if it will ever happen. This month in particular has been really hard with grief due to all that happened last year. Anyways, guess I am just venting. There is no fix - it just sucks and I often feel so alone in this.

What a great journey these past 4 years have been! And now again a new milestone: getting a negative FET outcome on my brithday, I feel so grateful! Any other day was not hard enough, birthdays are more fun to find out all your energy, hopes and dreams, time and money are going to waste once again. Depression has become my most loyal partner, always looming...! How to keep going????

How are you doing? What are you planning to do for your mental health this week?

Long story short, I feel like I’ve essentially lost all of my friends (including my long-time best friend) due to lack of common ground, being in different stages of life, etc. AKA, they all had babies and are fully immersed in all things new motherhood related, meanwhile I’m still in the trenches of IVF, fertility treatments, and multiple miscarriages. There’s been no big discussions or arguments, just communications dwindling down to nothing.

This, in addition of course to the big bowl of depression that is infertility, has left me in a pretty big funk lately. So I’m trying to be proactive and put myself out there to make new friends.

I’m really trying to find people who are also either navigating infertility, or who at the very least aren’t brand new parents. So far I’ve joined a book club and a local Facebook group for people going through infertility/IVF. Finding new friends in your 30s is an uphill battle though.

I’m mostly just ranting because this sucks and isn’t something I ever anticipated going through. But can anyone relate or have any suggestions?

33f, will be 34 soon. Been TTC since March 2022, one MC March 2023, chemical this past September.

I see a natural fertility specialist that was RAVED about because we are trying to avoid IVF. She dismissed my feelings of possible endo so I reached out to a NaPro surgeon and she was like yes, this definitely sounds like endo and did give the options for some treatments before surgery. I said no, let’s just do the surgery. I’m tired of just trying things. Letrozole, clomid, progesterone, HSG, sperm analysis, a million blood tests.

I am struggling between wanting to advocate for myself & trusting docs. I don’t want birth control as a way to regulate my cycle and get pregnant. I have a regular cycle. But I don’t want to try in vain.

Anyway I am just SO TIRED of trying. This doesn’t have much of a point except I’m tired of bogging my pregnant friends and family, and my incredibly empathetic mom down with this and my husband just doesn’t get it.

He can’t comprehend why I feel so lethargic after clomid or why I’m having a panic attack bc my hair is falling out or why I’m so depressed when my period starts.

So I’m tired. And I don’t want to complain about my spouse bc he is incredible, but he just does not have any empathy for the hormonal rollercoaster of TTC for a woman and it’s making me resent him too.

I’m tired. I’m sad. Peace to all.

An ex gf of mine posted a social media status with her husband where you can clearly she she is like 7 months pregnant. I shouldn't have opened that picture.

P.S. for the record. This post is not in anyway shape or form, about pining after an old ex. This ex and I parted, on cordial terms several years ago. We remained respectful friends.

Now. Onto my rant:

I know that the cordial thing to do is to say congrats. Friends are supposed to congratulate each other on their respective married-life milestones. It's the polite thing to do.

Yet...the first thing I felt when seeing that picture was, annoyance, jealousy and anger. I feel like my wife and I are stuck at stage 1, and everyone else is skipping over us and moving on.

I am annoyed and jealous that in only 7months they have what my wife and I have been trying for for 2 years.

Annoyed, remembering when she congratulated us on our wedding...yet here we are two years later.. no children...and these people that got married yesterday are already having their first child. It's not fair! We were married before them !

Oh...and someone in my family is also 8months pregnant too.

Sigh....

I should be happy for them. I should be.

What are you up to this week? Do you have treatment or life updates to share?

My husband and I have been struggling with infertility this year. It was something I wanted to keep private until we couldn’t. I have to have surgery at the end of the month to remove endometriosis and depending on the stage, improve the chances of getting pregnant. We told our parents and my sisters and some close friends. My MIL told my SIL who told her husbands parents and her husbands mom put me on the spot asking me in front of my husbands entire extended family about us trying to have kids and having trouble having kids. I went along with the conversation and was not rude to not cause a scene. After that, the dinner party was ruined for me and my husband I left shortly after. I told my husband that he needed to tell his mom that the information that we give her is for her only and to not discuss it with anyone else because otherwise, I will no longer give her updates on anything because she’s breaking the trust I’m trying to give her. Am I right to get upset about what happened? I’m a very private person and don’t like to be put in the spot, especially not talking about very private things in front of acquiescences. I can probably count with one hand how many times we have seen my husband’s extended family (aunts and uncles)in the past 8 years and never in a million years did I want the most private thing in my life outed that way. It’s something we’re still processing because I don’t know what they’ll say after surgery and there’s a high chance our only option will be IVF since I’ve had surgery in my ovaries in the past.

I'm the one with the infertility issues. I'm the reason we can't have kids naturally. But he still stays with me, still loves me and chooses me as his wife and life partner. He says he doesn't want to do life without me.

I can't help but feel guilty about it, like I've tricked him into loving me when he could love another woman, be with her and have children with her. He should have been a dad by now, doting on a daughter or son. But I doomed him. Me and my defective body. He loves me and stays. And I love him so much, it kills me inside that I can't give him the greatest desire of his heart and mine.

I ruined everything.

I (27F) have been trying to conceive for 2 years. I always suspected I would have struggles to due to a history of irregular cycles. I went for a HyCosy examination this week, which was incredibly painful and the dye did not flow through either fallopian tube. The dr did not give any results or next steps and advised I would have to wait for my next appointment to discuss this further. If both fallopian tubes are blocked, is my only option IVF?