(Please let me know if this is not allowed!) Because premature ovarian failure (aka primary ovarian insufficiency, aka diminished ovarian reserve, aka my ovaries suck lol) is a disease that affects women for life outside of IVF and pregnancy, I’ve created a separate sub /r/POFLife. POF can be devastating, isolating, and affects everything from emotional well-being to family life to relationships and friendships, as well as causing health problems including heart disease and osteoporosis. Talk of family planning and pregnancy is not limited as it is (understandably) in other infertility subs. Those with medically caused menopause are welcome too, basically anyone going through this crap before you’re supposed to! My hope is that we will build a community that can provide women with support and be a place to vent for everyone going through this. I’ll be cross posting this in a few places in the hopes that more will be able to find it. Please join and introduce yourself !

I've been going through the entire Bible this year with http://www.thebiblerecap.com and the commentary about Jesus talking to the woman at the well was something I thought others might also want to hear.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/7sVk4qureSJM6FsgG8tVG1?si=ngCVfHGJRJWJ1f5nyAYf6A

Hey Ladies, I just joined and wanted to share that through faith all things are possible. That isn't something I just say, it's something I've lived. God used infertility to reveal the lies I was believing and helped me to truly find Him in the middle of this journey. I hope you know that you are loved and that you matter more than you will every know!

​

I often have free resources available and because it's NIAW I wanted to do a giveaway for women going through this season. So I am giving away 5 of my 91 Day Christian Infertility Support Programs on DVD along with my books Trying to Conceive Through Faith and the Journal that goes along with it. If you are interested check out more details at http://ttctf.com

​

Also, would love your prayer requests below so I can pray for you!

This is my first post on Reddit and I feel so alone and isolated. I’ve STC (struggled to conceive) since 2016. My life for the past 5 years has been incredibly hard. I apologize for the long post, but the timeline is important. Since 2014, the following has happened to me:

2014: Told parents my husband and I were going to TTC

2014: Month after TTC, Mom diagnosed with stage 2 cancer. Did 1 year of chemo + surgery and prognosis was good. 

2014: 3 months after mom’s cancer diagnosis, had to move 2000 miles across country while mom was in treatment 

2015: Dad died unexpectedly less than a month after my 36 birthday. Later discovered dad metastatic stage 4 cancer that he hid from me. So I never got the chance to see him since I moved to a different state. Also I did not know if my mom knew he had cancer. When his death certificate came in, I had to explain his cause of death and she cried, so I assumed she didn’t know. 

2016: I tried to move forward with life and began TTC in late summer. However my clockwork periods became highly irregular. My doctor didn’t think anything was wrong, since previous fertility testing was amazing given I was over 35.  Doctor chalked it up to stress. 

2017: Irregular periods getting worse so referred to RE. After doing repeat labs, I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure (POF). I was absolutely devastated and shocked as there was no family history or cause if this condition. 

2017: Somehow after diagnosis, I was ovulating. RE agreed to do an medicated IUI. That did not work and RE we can try again. I did not respond to the injectables meds. During my follicle check, the RE very coldly and un-compassionately said “You’ll only have a 5% chance of ever having a baby.” She just walked out of the exam room and the nurse gave me a nasty smirk. I was overwhelmed with sorrow and passed out in the exam room, half baked and spread eagle for God knows how long. 

2017: Husband and I moved back to our home state, and my mom agreed we could stay with her until we had money to buy s house. 

2017: We tried an IUI, which was unsuccessful. RE suggested IVF, and I had 3 follicles. Went through the whole IVF process and woke up from egg retrieval only to discover I had no eggs in my follicles. I was absolutely devastated. 

2018: We decided to take time off from TTC, enjoy life and try another IVF cycle in summer. 

2018: My mom was having some aches and pains that was not resolving. Doctor confirmed her cancer care back. We accompanied her to her oncology visit. Her oncologist told my husband and I that they notified my mom after my dad died in 2015 that her cancer cane back. She told the doctor she didn’t care what happened to her and did not get treatment. The oncologist also told us my mom knew my dad had cancer. So my mom lied to me about her and my dad’s cancer diagnosis!

2018: My job was unsympathetic to my situation with having to care for my mom (I’m an only child). So I had to resign. I now have to care for my mom. 

2018: I still would like to have a biological child and begin priming for another IVF cycle at a clinic that deals with DOR/POF, high FSH, etc. 

2019: Again no response to stim meds and cycle is in limbo. Also I only have 1 tiny follicle so chances of cycle working are slim. 

I apologize for the length of this post. But how could God possibly love me if all this happened to me?  Im conceived God either doesn’t exist or if He does, he hates me. 

I hope this is ok to post - Mods please delete or message me otherwise.

I'm a mod over at r/infertility and we have an AMA coming up on 11/13 we'd like to share with others in the TTC/infertility community.

The AMA will be on Tues Nov 13th from 9-11 am CST / 3-5 pm GMT. A little preview:

Elyse Ash, the Founder and CEO of Fruitful Fertility will be speaking about the free mentorship program that matches women currently dealing with infertility and those who have previously struggled with infertility. Mentees are able to have someone who "gets it" and can listen to rants about baby showers, frustrations with clinics/pharmacies, or anything else that the rest of the world might not understand. Mentors can be those who have chosen to adopt, have graduated infertility treatment, chosen a childfree life, or more. She is also taking questions on how to advocate for support. *Please note Elyse is not a therapist and currently Fruitful is only available to those in the United States, Australia, Canada, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Ireland, Norway, Sweden, United Kingdom and New Zealand.

**Please familiarize yourself with the rules of r/infertility (especially in regards to if you have graduated beyond infertility in some way) before posting, but we welcome all to join us and learn more about this free service.

The STARH Lab at East Tennessee State University is conducting a study on women’s life experiences and reproductive health outcomes such as sexual dysfunction, infertility, and pregnancy or delivery complications. We are interested in collecting information from women between the ages of 18 and 50 with any reproductive health experiences – that is, women who have never tried to conceive, women who are currently trying to conceive, and women who have children. As this survey is interested in topics such as fertility problems, history of unwanted sexual experiences, and sexual functioning, you may be asked sensitive questions related to these topics. If at any point you feel discomfort or are distressed by the survey questions, appropriate resources are provided below and will be made available to you at the end of the study as well. If you are a woman between the ages of 18 and 50, you are eligible to participate. We are hopeful that this research will allow us to better understand factors that may be related to various reproductive health outcomes. As a thank-you for your participation, you will have the option to enter your email address at the end of the survey to be entered into a drawing to win a $75 Amazon gift card. The survey should take approximately 30 to 75 minutes to complete, but you can save your place and come back to it several times if needed. If at any time you wish to discontinue participation, you may exit and leave the survey. If you have any questions or concerns about this study, please feel free to contact the principal investigator, Dr. Julia Dodd, at doddjc@etsu.edu or (423)439-4847. Thank you for considering participating in this research.

Please click the following link if you wish to be taken to the survey: [Women's Reproductive Health and Stress Survey](https://etsuredcap.etsu.edu/surveys/?s=84YJ7RCCHF)

Resources that may be of interest:

- Crisis hotline: 1-800-273-8255

- Resolve, The National Infertility Association: 866-668-2566, https://resolve.org

- Postpartum Support International: 1-800-944-773

- National Center for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: 800-273

- Resolve, The National Infertility Association: 866-668-2566, https://resolve.org

- Postpartum Support International: 1-800-944-773

- National Center for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs: 800-273-8255

- National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-4673

- National Alliance on Mental Illness: 800-950-6264

- Solace for Mothers- online community for healing birth trauma: http://www.solaceformothers.net/online-forum/online-community-for-mothers/8255

I have been doing a self guided 31 days of prayer for your husband. It's going to be way more than 31 days, because I am not doing it every day. However tonight was one of those nights where the reading smacks you in the face, shakes you and asks if you are paying attention. Tonight was prayer day 17, praying for his physical health. We had our first RE appointment today. It... did not go well. But I came home, cried a bit, did some retail therapy, cooked dinner. Then settled in and read the following:

Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies,

~Psalms 103: 2-4

Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, And He saved them out of their distresses. He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions. Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men!

~Psalms 107: 19-21

Yep, I am paying attention now too. Thank you Lord. I hope these verses can encourage someone else too.

Should I abandon my current religion if I ever find out that I'm infertile?

I'd take infertility as a possible sign that a god / goddess / pantheon of another religion beckons me over (and will bless me with fertility just as soon as I become a follower of said new religion.) And/or that the God of my current religion doesn't want me amongst his followers anymore.

Hey everybody! So I'll do my best to keep up a weekly thread. Feel free to post anything here that you'd like. Rant / rave / high fives / devotionals...whatever. The suggestion came through for possibly a weekly devotional. If someone would like to start on in the comments, feel free to do so!! Or just come say hi. :)

** Please remember to be respectful of the views of our fellow contributors. Any disrespectful comments will be removed. ***

Hey everybody! So I'll do my best to keep up a weekly thread. Feel free to post anything here that you'd like. Rant / rave / high fives / devotionals...whatever. The suggestion came through for possibly a weekly devotional. If someone would like to start on in the comments, feel free to do so!! Or just come say hi. :)

** Please remember to be respectful of the views of our fellow contributors. Any disrespectful comments will be removed. ***

Have you been part of a support group (I'm wondering about faith based, but non-faith groups ok too) or a bible study related to infertility? Could you share your experience with me please? What did you like about your group? What do you wish would have been different? I'm feeling led to start a group at my church.... not right away- perhaps early next year (they do "semesters" of small bible study groups) and I am trying to gather some information.

Have you come across any good books or studies on the topic?

Good morning, friends!

So I'll do my best to keep up a weekly thread. Feel free to post anything here that you'd like. Rant / rave / high fives / devotionals...whatever. The suggestion came through for possibly a weekly devotional. If someone would like to start on in the comments, feel free to do so!! Or just come say hi. :)

** Please remember to be respectful of the views of our fellow contributors. Any disrespectful comments will be removed. ***

It's been awhile...a long while. :-/ How has everyone been? Any new commers since I disappeared a bit ago?

So I was wondering what we can do to get this space a little more active. Any ideas? Feel free to chime in with whatever is going on. Even the weather. Perhaps we set up a daily thread? What do y'all think?

Several years ago my husband decided he didn't believe in a god anymore and became an atheist. This turned my whole world upside down, and every hope I had for our future together felt shaky, insecure, and like it could fall apart at any moment. I wrestled with reconciling all the parts of this, and my anger toward my husband and toward God, for years.

Now we're discovering that infertility is likely also to be a part of our marriage, and many of the same themes come up again and again in my prayers. I felt compelled to share a piece of this prayer, substituting infertility for faith.

*substituted themes in brackets

Dear Lord,

I confess in failing in one of your repeated commands - to be full of hope and joy. In wrestling through the pain of [infertility] you showed me that my hope has been in the wrong things. My hope should not be in my marriage, in children, or in the future, but in your very character. I've been living day to day trying to force myself to "find joy" in small things, in trying to be more grateful, but it never occurred to me that I was really missing out on hope.

In trying to dodge the lies of the prosperity gospel, I knew not to put my hope in the future. When fellow believers offered encouragement [for a future baby] my response has always been a choked out "thanks" while my heart would be overcome with anger or despair. No, my hope was certainly not in that future.

(on being afraid of healing)

Over and over I've reminded my heart that God is good. He does not waste pain, but we are told to expect suffering in this life. Oh, God, how resigned my heart has been! And now you surround me with months of peace and my heart is just WAITING for you to end this calm and bring me pain again. There has been happiness, but it's overshadowed by this fear. Fear has given way to shame, for does all this mean that I love the gifts more than the one who gives them? Does this mean I don't trust, truly, that God is good? He is, he is, my mind knows it!

The doubts lead to more lies about working harder to be grateful, about putting on a happy face until joy finds it's way. Attitudes vs feelings and feelings follow actions and all that.

Such wasted effort.

Joy springs from hope. Love turns into duty without hope. There is a reason Paul said it was faith, hope, and love that would last forever. You need all of them to have any of them.

The very thought of putting my hope only in you, God, sets my soul free. No more effort. No more worry or guilt. Just setting aside the burden of despair I've carried for so long and reminding my soul that it has bet everything on this one promise, this Person. For I will yet hope in him.

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you. -Psalm 42

Found out a while back that I'll have trouble getting pregnant, and likely can't carry a baby to term if I do. Based on my family history, this may be a good thing for my health since the women in my family end up having emergency hysterectomies after a few kids.

I haven't struggled and lost the way others in this community have, and I wondered if anyone here thought the fight was worth it. My husband doesn't want kids, but he also doesn't want a vasectomy. I see the cost of trying, and know that having kids will be a choice to have long-run medical problems.

My desire for kids has never been strong, but I've been growing one. The main reasons are that kids bring a lot of fun and lightheartedness to life, they also bring a lot of struggle and sacrifice and personal growth, and not having children when everyone close to me is in that stage makes me feel lonely. I almost don't know how to relate to other women at this point.

People who have children are so invested in their communities. They have to answer their kids' hard questions about why life is the way it is. Basically, the maturity difference between my friends who are parents and those who aren't is... it's staggering.

Yes, children are hard and messy and make you give up years of your life. They also bring a lot of life and help people understand God and his relationship to us in a whole new way. I want to know God like that. Building a family, a community, investing in younger people are all things that are possible to do without having your own kids, but I wonder if I'm capable of doing it with the same sacrifice.

In my prayers I've felt comforted that God will give me the children he has for me, my own or caring for a neighbor's or something different. It probably won't happen for years (my husband doesn't want children) and that's okay.

My question to this community is, how do you deal with the limbo? Wondering if my husband should just get a vasectomy, wondering what and how to tell my in-laws, and tired of dodging questions from friends.

I think I'd like him to have a vasectomy so we can definitively say that we can't have children. At first I was worried about taking control of the decision away from God (although that's kind of a laughable notion, isn't it?) but I don't see us going through all of the medical procedures so that we 100% know we can't have kids. At what point did you decide that it wasn't in the cards? How did the vasectomy conversations go?

How am I supposed to believe that I should put this in God's hands and trust Him, while simultaneously believing that He is not responsible or directly causing my infertility?

I'm not a religious person, I don't attend church, but I have, on and off, over the years, prayed for guidance.

A number of years back, my husband and I suffered some really serious setbacks in our lives. Perhaps we created the circumstances that caused this, perhaps not. We have tried to come to peace with it. We have at least come to peace with each other and what it did to our relationship. We are stronger as a result.

But since these setbacks happened, I have been very, very angry with God and turned my back on having any kind of "faith" or "hope" or belief in anything bigger than myself.

We have been trying to conceive for a while. We're on IVF #4. I guess I should have expected this to be difficult: my mother had 10 miscarriages in the course of having 2 children, they never knew why, but clearly I have inherited some of her problems.

Since our last failed IVF, I made a concerted effort to try to make peace with God, which I guess is really making peace with myself. I hoped this would help me deal with the difficulty of IVF more productively, rather than yelling at everyone and being nasty while pumped full of hormones.

Interestingly, my husband has managed to make peace with God, and he has decided not to hold grudges against the people that caused these life setbacks.

But I cannot let these things go. I feel like we are being punished because I am harboring anger toward people that hurt us, and toward God for preventing us from having children.

Can anyone suggest some ways (yes, I will read bible verses, I will pray, etc.) that I might be able to find my way back to God or to some kind of peace?

Thank you.

So. I have been trying to conceive for 21 months now to no avail. This is our second month of medicated cycles. I know that's not as long as some but it really feels like a lifetime. I have really been struggling the last few months. I of course call my mom and her response is always the same, "I'm praying for you. Just remember God has a plan." But every month I am starting to doubt it because if God has a plan then ... I just don't get it. I realize it's not my job to but... like really it makes no sense.

My sister called me on New Year's day to tell me she was pregnant. Let me tell you about my sister. My sister is a mental basket case. She can barely handle her own life and is mentally unstable. Most recently she has joined a cult and disowned the family for the most part (other than reaching out when it suits her). When my sister was 18 she got pregnant and didn't want it to ruin her life so she had an abortion. A few years later she started having horrible abdominal pain and found out that she had a horrible cyst and ended up having one of her ovaries removed. Then a few years later the same thing happened to the other one and she had half of that ovary removed. So here is my sister, had an abortion, has half an ovary and the doctor said she would have less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant. She ended up getting pregnant literally her first and only month trying.

I'm sorry but what is God's plan that he gives a baby to an abortion having mentally ill person with half an ovary and I have a slight hormone imbalance and have been trying to conceive for 21 months with no success. I hate hate hate to see it but if that's the plan I'm mad at God. I need help understanding. I'm not strong enough for this, it's wearing on me and it's breaking me as a human being.

I'm sorry. I'm partially venting and partially at a lost with my faith because how does God give a baby to someone who already killed one? I don't get it.

I know this sub is terribly inactive, but I figured I'd give this a shot. My husband and I are infertile (unexplained, but I do have endometriosis) and are hoping to begin more extensive treatments soon. I have a very high AMH (5.99 after surgery) and my clinic has suggested that I might make a good egg donor to possibly help fund our own treatments.

My dilemma is that I'm Mormon, and although the Church doesn't explicitly condemn egg donation, it does advise against using donor gametes.

The official guidelines are as follows:

The Church strongly discourages the donation of sperm.

The Church strongly discourages surrogate motherhood.

The Church strongly discourages in vitro fertilization using semen from anyone but the husband or an egg from anyone but the wife. However, this is a personal matter that ultimately must be left to the judgment of the husband and wife. Responsibility for the decision rests solely upon them.

My question is: is there anyone out there (Mormon or not) who's dealt with the religious implications of donor gametes? How did you make that decision? And if there's anyone Mormon out there who donated eggs or used donor eggs, did you feel obligated to disclose it to your bishop, or was it more of a "none of their business" thing?

I'm new here. I've been a reddit lurker for a long time, but I never thought about searching reddit for anything fertility-related until my husband mentioned he was doing some reddit reading last night. I just need to vent and speak my frustrations out loud.

Eight years ago, I was in a bad place so I slept with an acquaintance (really a neighbor of a friend I didn't know that well at all). We used a condom and it broke, so I took the morning after pill and about 6 weeks later, I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified, but I knew I would have my daughter anyway. So I spent the next 5 years raising my child as a single mom. Her dad and I have remained good friends and he is involved in her life. We've worked really hard to make it a very healthy relationship and I'm proud of us. During those five years I made my way back to God and developed a stronger relationship with Him.

I started dating my now-husband in 2011 and we married 2 years ago this December. We've been trying to get pregnant for those 2 years. I've been watching everyone around me get pregnant. My daughter asks me all the time, "Mommy, when will I have a younger brother or sister?" We went for testing and everything came back normal. Time just keeps passing and I'm still not pregnant. And I've been so angry.

I was in a situation in which many many women would have had an abortion. I went through so much pain during that time of my life- it was lonely and scary. (Of course, I would never change it for the word). And now, that I'm married and trying to have a child with the man that I've committed myself to for the rest of my life, I'm not able to get pregnant?!?

I have been mad at God. I spent the summer asking Him why I deserve this. I really do know better, but I'm still angry.

I can feel the anger fading and it's good. I've been praying more throughout the day to ask for peace. It's just hard. I feel like every time I gain a little ground emotionally, something else is there to kick us in the butt.

Yesterday we went to a fertility specialist. We are looking to explore our options with IUI and IVF. But then we got the estimate after the office looked at our insurance. We are going to be able to afford about 2 rounds of IUI or one round of IVF and that's it. Because just paying for that will put us in more debt than we can take on right now.

We got home last night and we both felt a weird combination of encouraged and discouraged. Encouraged because maybe there are options for us and discouraged because of the financial aspect. A few hours after we got back from our appointment last night, we get a call from our brother and sister in law...they are calling to tell us they're pregnant. The timing could not have been worse. Of course we are happy for them, but last night it felt like I was punched in the stomach.

How do I get through this pain and get over my anger? I know I need to pray more, it is just hard to keep my heart open and not let it harden.

TL;DR I got pregnant 8 years ago from one night of sex, a broken condom, and the morning after pill. Raised my daughter as a single mom. Now, I'm married and trying to conceive- can't get pregnant. I'm a little angry with God.

Infertility sort of destroyed my faith. I don't know that I ever stopped believing in God. It was more that I just felt completely abandoned so I just gave up having faith. I miss it though. I miss church and the sense of community and I miss that feeling of connection with God and my faith. When we did our final FET, I didn't even ask God for help but I wanted to. I've been wanting to find my way back for a while but I still feel hurt and betrayed and unacknowledged. I'm not sure what to do but I do feel a strong pull to try again.

It almost feels like trying to forgive a friend that hurt you. Do I give it another shot? Am I really only forgiving now that I had a baby? Does that erase all the pain I had before and the abandonment I felt?

I went to church today and the sermon was the parable of the Prodigal Son which seemed pretty fitting. Do I just need to learn to listen better to what God is telling me? Is there anyone else out there that lost faith and is trying to get back there?

I was raised Roman Catholic. Through my IF journey my faith has struggled and I walked away from the church on mother's day 2 years ago. I always thought I would go back, but the latest "IVF is a sin" just did me in. Lately I've been feeling the draw to go to church, so I'm starting to research other denominations. I'd love to hear about your religion/church.

Hiya folks!

Thanks to the help of a befriended mod (/u/TonyQuark) we now have the option to put a flair next to your name (the major religions and a customizable one) and a 'TRIGGER WARNING' option for posts that might be of an especially sensitive nature.

Please use the trigger warning flair for post that include topics like miscarriages, pregnancies and similar subjects. When in doubt, just use the flair! :)

Thanks!

This morning I decided to stream the service instead of rushing out to get there on time and I'm glad I did because I was able to weep in the privacy of my home instead of there. The scripture was about how the Israelites cried out to God when they were in Egypt and how God heard them. The guest speaker talked about what it was to groan out to God. That was when I started to cry (first 5 minutes) and intermittently for the rest of the sermon. His points were:

• If you see something that is wrong (injustice, or doesn't line up with God'd promises) to cry out to God
• God hears us and remembers us. In scripture when those to phrases occur together, it is followed by action on God's part
• Delays do not change the destination.

Here is a link to the stream if anyone is interested (the scripture reading and sermon start at 14:57 if you want to skip straight to it). I was so moved by it that part of me dared to hope that maybe the FET on 07/08 will work but I am terrified to hope because if it doesn't, the let down will be so much worse. I'm kind of rambling at this point, but I wanted to share it with you in case someone else needed to hear this also.