We've been in a relationship for 2 months now but we've known each other for 2 years. He (30M) has been accepting of me (27F). However, none of his family is accepting and open-minded. We tried to keep our relationship hidden from his folks, but they learned about it. We suspect that some of his so-called friends dobbed him. Unfortunately he's still living with his damn parents. It's easy for me to just say that he should move-out and be independent, but he can't do it easily; he is a part of the a****m spectrum (the word is very triggering for him so I have to censor).

His family sees me as a red flag because I've never done video calls with my bf. But we're planning to do it soon anyway and I've sent him lots of pictures and a video; we've been also constantly doing voice calls in addition to chats. I am insecure of my looks because I am not 100% passable. His family, especially his mum is thinking that I'm just in a relationship with her son because of money and that I've been catfishing him. I let my bf send screenshots of some of our conversations to her and she still doesn't believe me; she is surprised that I am very good in English so she thinks that I'm not from the country where I live, but is from a country where English is the first language and is trying to con his son. Because the screenshots didn't work, I sent my bf's family a letter, saying that I'm a real person ans those accusations aren't true. Again, her mum is very skeptical and she doesn't like that I know a lot of infos about her son; but in out defense, it's just normal for me as a gf to know lots of things about my own bf. One thing to note about his mum is she has symptoms of schizophrenia.

I've been thinking of doing a voice call to her, but it may just escalate to shouting and she still probably won't believe me because I have an accent on the phone but at the same time, she thinks that I'm a native English speaker because of the convos with my bf and the letter. She might think that I'm with a group of people, that the person who my bf is speaking via chats is not the same from the one that she's talking to. My voice is feminine, but I'm scared of the possibility that she might pick up that I'm trans 💔 And with video calls, it will be even more risky for me to be clocked. I've been telling my bf to just at least live with his more tolerant Uncle but I am fearful that her mum might do something in the background while he's not around, and she will justify that I'm a scammer because I don't want to talk to her.

My bf's flight tickets as well as our accommodation have already been booked and are both non-refundable. Of course her mum doesn't have any evidence against me, but what if their police cooperates with our local police to check on me/us? Instead of being happy, we'll be in constant fear. I am thinking of just not letting my bf to come here if it will be too unsafe for me and for us, but he spent a lot of money for the tickets and the accommodation 💔 I'm unable to visit his country because I'm unemployed due to past traumatic & transphobic experiences at work and it requires me to get a visa. On top of all, my country's immigration office is notorious for being so hard with their fellow countrypeople when it comes to asking questions, etc. so many people had been offloaded. I'm also fearful that if I visit his country, then his family will have a higher chance of attacking me: in person.

I haven't been sleeping well the past few days. Me and my bf are extremely stressed and anguished. Instead of being excited and counting down the days of his visit, we are dealing with this shit.

I'm Tau! I run a safe-space discord server that's inclusive to LGBTQIA individuals! I thought I'd post about it here given recent events.

We have a pretty healthy sub-community of trans members including some on the moderation and admin team, along with a boatload of resources for folks ranging from ADHD help to online Therapy links (some of them free of cost). We also have a dedicated channel for our trans members to use as an insulated safe space.

We have game nights on saturdays and mondays, and have a couple members that run things on the week (from all timezones, so something is usually always going on). Our current campaign night game is Barotrauma.

If you'd like a respectful community to join that can provide a safe space online, then we're here <3

PM me if you'd like an invite to it, and I can forward one your way!

As always, Be Good to Yourselves <3

my face is the thing that get me the most dysphoric of all the stuff so i wonder when its gonna start to change , ik its diff fo everyone but still