Does anyone know how to get their fe to work? I’ve been struggling with it lately. Been very impathetic and I’m so tired of it now but I genuinely cannot fix it because I don’t understand.

I knew an ISTP that felt like he was never able to say what he really wanted to, and his throat was swollen all the time. I knew another that carried around guilt and shame that would flare up in his neck. Another worried himself so much that he went bald. Would you say that's something you experience?

Sorry for the long post everyone, im still processing. I broke up with someone I was dating for the last 4 months as I was just getting strung along. Im Aussie-Pakistani (ISTP), she is Chinese (INFP) that studied college in the States (neither of us are religious). She only lived here for 2 years, and hates this country. I was thinking of moving overseas too, as long as its a rational move (I dont hate my country, this is my home).

We met through a dating app, for the first month I wasn't that emotionally invested. We were having sex and it was good. She appeared to be caring, had cooked for me (which made me like her a lot), however, she was emotionally inconsistent from the start. She doesn't acknowledge my effort in planning the dates too, she always had to take control and would only do things that she liked to do. Sometimes, she would back out of the date because she is feeling "overwhelmed", but later on I would find out that she was still dating other people in that early phase.

After a month and a half, I asked her if this is casual or what because there is too much emotions at play, and she is already acting like my girlfriend. She goes no no it's not casual, she's thinking if we should go serious. Then she said she's dating me exclusively and not seeing other guys, except for another one whom she is thinking of ending. I'm not controlling or anything, so I say okay. Also, I think my perception is pretty strong, and I figured there was someone else because she had accidentally sent a message to the wrong chat. But instead of coming clean at the time, she tried to cover her tracks. There were a couple of red flags that I had noticed in the 6 weeks, the first was that she had said "It is so easy to lie.", and the second when she said that she was the toxic person in her past relationships. I kept these as mental notes to observe in the future.

Three months in, now she stopped being caring, she would cancel the picnic dates where she used to cook for me. However, she would expect me to be emotionally available for her. Anything I do, she would just want more. Like "why couldn't you pick a better restaurant?", "why didn't you buy me any gifts? (this one irked me). She would never be grateful for anything I did too. If I got a gift, she would be like "I don't need stuff". We have had a couple of conflicts, and when I set my boundaries, she responds that I have "male privilege", makes me the villain and shuts down communication (even in-person). And if she acknowledges it, she brings it back up on text later. One of the arguments was about money, she says if we are to be in a relationship, she expects me to pay more than her for most things. She says "If you are more generous, then I can be more generous in other ways." I was like this is fucking weird to verbalise, firstly. And second, I'm already paying for all our dates. It was like telling someone vegan to not eat beef.

She still hasn't given any clarity on us, and I don't bother bringing it up yet. She has a trip to China for 3 weeks to stay with her parents, and I figured lets see how she acts after shes back. One of our final dates before her trip, we had a camping trip and although this was a very peaceful experience, she just casually dropped that she is bisexual. When I was like wtf, she goes "Did I not tell you that before? Maybe you didn't need to know." I reflected on this and how in the past she said "she is dating me exclusively now, and stopped seeing other guys". I'm like fuck, there is no way for me to trust anything she says now. Because, in our past conversations, she said some stuff that made me think "huh that's a weird friendship.". She also mentioned going to the nudist beach with her friend.

Her trip happens. I drop her at the airport, we communicate sparsely throughout. 3 weeks later, i pick her up from the airport. She doesn't thank me or anything, just says "This is so surreal. Why am I being picked up by a guy I met on a dating app.". Already this annoyed me (first strike), she knew I was coming to the airport beforehand. Then for someone that was whining about receiving gifts, she didn't get me shit her trip. Not even a fuckin chocolate. She says "I am your gift." (Second strike). We have sex, then have a long conversation, where she says "let's not bring our parents into our relationship, they don't need to know". (Third strike) Family is an important element for me. They don't need to be involved, but theu don't need to be disrespected either. End of the day, Australia is my home, this is just an escape for her. I ask her "So what is this relationship then?", she is very hesitant and tries to avoid the question. She starts talking about arranged marriages in China and the boxes that need to be checked, I'm like I don't care about no boxes. She responds it's because of my "male privilege" and I "won't understand because I'm not rich". Both of these angered me as they don't encourage open communication (and the latter statement about not being rich is just insulting). I get angry, and I go to the bathroom to calm myself down. When I come back, she brings up relationship again, and hesitantly says okay to be official. I say fine, let's talk about it next time.

The next day she messages me, bringing back the topic about male privilege, and she needs to be with someone understanding etc. I get tired of this and I break up with her. She kind of just went along with the break up really, didnt even try to talk it through. Honestly, how she was at the start was so different with how she was by the end. The only thing that was good in the end was the sex. If she just wanted casual fun, then she could have just said so 6 weeks in. There was no need for all the other drama.

One of the other key things she said on that last day was about her previous relationship of 2 years. The guy was kind and giving to her for 2 years, she broke up with him because she "didn't like him anymore". This could easily be me 2 years later.

This post is already really long, and there were so many other things that were red flags that came up on the last day. I do miss her, but mostly I miss the intimacy and sex.

Do you clash a lot with “macho”, overcompensating kinda dudes?

If so, machoness in which personality type has gotten on your nerves the most?

Let’s hear it

ISTP males, I’d imagine you would be attracted by the compatibility of women with thinking personalities.

But when you are attracted to women with feeling personalities, do you think there’s a primal male-female reason behind that?

Is the type of attraction different depending on the type of feeler personality (NFs, SFs, extroverted people with feeling, introverted people with feeling, etc)?

If a person close to you (friend, family, spouse) has done everything in their power to support you through thick and thin, pick up in the middle of the night and jump on a plane if you needed it, would you show up for them, even when you have need for personal space? (Not as in, you need personal space from them but just in general.)

You can answer this in detail or on a scale of 1 to 10 or both. You may also answer this question in general and ignore the situations altogether.

1. You are casually going by and a person bumped into you. They didn't say sorry and just moved on.
2. Out of the blue, an acquaintance shouts at you. You didn't do anything. Later on, they come to you and say sorry. They don't seem genuine.
3. Same as above but this time they do seem genuine.
4. You have a really, really close friend; like 'someone who understands you' kind of friend. You find out (from a genuine source, i.e. what you heard is 100% accurate) that they were actually manipulative. They lied to you. When you confronted them about it, they ignored you.
5. Same as above but here they seemed shocked that you know about it. After a while they come to you and say sorry. They apologized multiple times and said that they didn't mean to manipulate you and that they'll not do this again.

I asked this on the ENFP sub and I'm curious about what you guys think.. Also, I wonder if it has any correlation with MBTI, so I'm planning to ask this on the other MBTI subreddits.

I am good looking second year engineering student . Today out of nowhere my just friend started to mention that i dont have a personality , So my question is wht personality a boy should have . Because i am kind of introvert bt i dont mind to talk to people if required, i can make anyone comfortable around me , if my friends pullmy leg i just laugh it off because i dont mind that . So i want to know wht is a good personality being cold nd misterious or mean ??

Do you show up for friends and family when they are having a tough time, even when you have need for personal space?

Asking because I know ISTP care alot about their personal space but wondering if the importance would change in certain circumstances.

I usually wear tactical style watches or field watch. Just non flashy type but it gets the job done. Like Timex and Seiko.

What's your everyday watch wear?

Yes, very specific question😭, idk if you know how to answer this but I wanna understand

Share your discovery! I'm talking about Fe inf traits specifically.

Christmas, birthday, anything? Feel free to name a few if you'd like. I'd really appreciate it 🙂

I dont eat much because I dont wanna, which is why I have been chronically anemic since forever. In general, I’m actually quite weak and skinny. Are there any other istps who are also sick weak and skinny.

Share some ISTP stories, doesn't really matter what they are. Just stupid shit you've done.

For example: One time I was spacing out after getting stuck on an EE homework. So, naturally, i pour myself a bowl of cereal to focus better and found myself thinking of the problem again, so hard that I started spacing out again. That led to half a carton of milk soaking my apartment's floor and socks... (I may be on the spectrum, perhaps a tingle of the tism)

Has anyone been speed dating before? Personally I love talking to people for matrimonial purposes, I found I become a Estp, whats your experience like?

Just remembering about it makes me never want to leave my house again lol. Last year, in october, it was a random friday, i was having a terrible week and I couldn't wait to go home and not speak to anyone for the next 2 days. So in this class they made us sit in a circle and talk about how that subject made us feel. I honestly didn't even understand what I was supposed to say, and I couldn't even ratiocinate bc all I could think about was I really dont wanna speak rn. So when is was almost my turn I went to the bathroom and locked myself in there because I was genuinely freaking out for no reason. So I came back thinking the class was over, and guess what everyone was staring at me and one of the teachers go "we were just waiting for you". At that point I was considering ending it right there. So I said "Idk what to say", she responded "then say whatever you feel like saying". So I said "I dont feel like saying anything" and left the room crying. 😃😃😃 That was the most awkward dialogue i ever had and the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me, that was literally the only time I cried in 2024 and its so stupid, I dont even know why I said that. Maybe im just posting this here because i wanna feel better about myself lol Please tell me its understandable🙏

i love yall please be my friend

What’s your favorite aircraft. Military, commercial, etc?

Why is it that the more you try to keep to yourself the more people try to screw with you? What is it about someone not needing/wanting too much social interaction that seems to bother people so much?

My sister (INFP) dumps random ass information on me all the time. Example: "My friend and her bf blahblahblah" "I felt sad because blahblah" "this sea creature blahblahblah"

I get sick of her unwarranted speech and tell her upright to please stop talking because I genuinely don't care & it's bothering me. Then she gets extremely offended and storms away/starts crying. I'm taken aback because I didn't say anything particularly outlandish other than "can you shut up. I don't want to listen to this"

I don't think I'm obligated to listen and relate to someone's story, but my personal bias might be clouding my judgement.

Am I the bad guy? Am I just being an intolerant person?

Other ISTPs, do you relate to this? Or is it just me being an asshole and trying to self-rationalize my rude behavior?