My son is competing in jiu jitsu and u have his chosen name on his profile. Some competitions require ID in order to prevent someone else competing on their behalf. In experience its been okay as my husband it very respected as he's a coach and a 6th Dan black belt. But he's on a trip for work and Idk what I'd do if he gets stopped at registration the competition costs a lot of money and I don't want to loose it.

We're driving my daughter to the ER for abdominal pain. I called the triage nurse to see if it could wait to morning or if she needed to be seen sooner, and I told the triage nurse she was assigned male at birth because testicular torsion and hernias are on the list of possible causes of abdominal pain.

The triage nurse asked me if she'd had any vaginal bleeding or if I thought she might be close to starting her period.

Anyway, tips for navigating the she's a girl conversation with providers when you can't vet them ahead of time?

Let me preface this by saying that I'm about as vanilla as they come - white, male, cis-het, 30s.

I have a trans son (13, AFAB), who's having a rough time after coming out.

He spent a good few years presenting masc at home and fem when out of the house. He was always terrified of being rejected for being trans, so he hid it, while we did what we could to support him at home.

He came out to his best friend a few months back and they stopped talking for a while, but eventually started spending more time together again. Unfortunately, the dynamic in their friendship had changed, the friend kept misgendering and deadnaming him on an almost daily basis, despite my son telling her how uncomfortable it made him. We initially thought that it was just taking some time to get used to, but it seemed to be more that the friend was deliberately ignoring my son's trans identity and pretending that he's still a girl. I can excuse initially not understanding, but continuing to insist that he's not a boy for months is not fair. I think, in a way, the friend was embarrassed by my son being trans.

My son recently ended their friendship, which has been so hard for him as they had been inseparable for years, but the friendship was causing him so much mental distress. He is just a gentle, caring soul and absolutely hated upsetting her, but just couldn't cope with the torment any longer.

Fortunately, he does have other friends who love and accept him for exactly who he is, and not who they want him to be.

This is a really sad situation and my heart breaks for him, but I am so unbelievably proud that he is so certain in his identity and no longer willing to compromise on it in order to appease others. If you'll forgive my crudeness, my trans son has more balls than I did at that age!

I'm not exactly sure what I want from this post, but felt I needed to share it with people who might understand.

On a lighter note, this week we legally changed his name, which is awesome!

See https://www.out2enroll.org

I am a stepmom of a 15 & 16 boy and girl. I have a 29 & 28 son and daughter of my own from a previous marriage. My 29 year old son and his wife and 2 little girls moved in a year ago to try to save money. Me and my husband of 13 years have 50/50 custody of my step kids.

I've known since my 29 year old son was a teenager that he wanted to transition, however I wanted him to wait until he was an adult before making a big life decision like that. So in the past year, he's been doing hormone replacement therapy. I am 100% accepting of whatever makes him happy, and his wife is too.

Three weeks ago, he made his image change public on socials.

Now my husband gets a phone call from his ex threatening she's not going to let my step kids come over when our week comes (next week). l've tried to talk to her, my husband has tried, and my step kids accept him for who he is.

Has anyone had a similar experience?

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTFtxrq5q/

This is probably going to be long and messy, so apologies for any mistakes.

My 12-year-old was born female and currently wants to use He/Them pronouns, and together we picked out a gender neutral name that he was more comfortable with, so I'll refer to this child as "River." River told me this information a couple of weeks ago and I told him something along the lines of, "whatever you feel now and however you end up, I'll always love you because you're my kid." Then I asked if they wanted to pick out a name they were more comfortable with.

River decided he wanted to tell his dad, too. I was there for support, but thought the information should come from River. Everything seemed to go ok.

Both of my kids, River and younger brother "Ben", recently spent a couple of days at their dad's. This doesn't happen very often. When their dad picked the kids up, he referred to River by an old nickname (so I'll say the birth name was "Chelsea", and he referred to River as "Chels"). I said, "it's River now, you'll get in trouble for that." Then their dad went all quiet and weird, so I asked what's wrong. His exact words were, "the last week I've been feeling like my heart and stomach have been ripped out of me. But this isn't about me." I agreed with that last sentiment. Kids went off with their dad.

When their dad brought them home again, I noticed he's saying Her/Chelsea again. So, after he leaves, I ask River if dad was doing that the whole time. Yes. River felt too nervous to correct him.

Really, what I want to know, is how I can address this with their dad?

My kid recently transitioned, and he seems so much happier and more comfortable as himself. We're all proud of him. We live in a state that will definitely vote Blue next Tuesday, but even so, I'm worried about what will happen if Trump is elected. I think it's unlikely that services in our state will be targeted by a Trump administration and/or Project 2025, but of course, who knows.

In the event of a Trump victory, we're considering moving out of the country to protect his safety and growth. I'm wondering if anybody else is thinking about that too. Not necessarily looking for advice, just wondering how many of you are out there who are considering that big decision.

https://www.theguardian.com/news/2024/oct/29/acute-psychosis-inner-voices-avatar-therapy-psychiatry

There's nothing psychosis-like about trans kids, or trans-ness.

Gender Dysphoria can however, get really gnarly, and our kids are vulnerable to learning differences (LD) as well. Combinations of GD and LD... and living under threat? It can produce awful stress, depression, anxiety. The SI that can come from putting-off identity exploration... that's an expression of intense pressure right on the edge. That GD pressure + LD + either chronic or acute trauma *can* become hearing voices. I betcha a lot more of our kiddos and young adults and even grown-all-the-way-up adults have more of this than we know?

Some trans kids are having a two-spirit experience. Some are finding their niche or niches along a number-line. Some are finding their locus in a quadrant or in a 360° sphere, or a bunch of loci. Some are having all that *and* a learning difference... and/or PTSD that resembles ADHD at different times... and all this pressure can build up to produce voices, dp/dr, obsess/compul, numbing, all kinds of signs that there's too much pressure. Yet, it's important to note... a moment is not a life-time-diagnosis. Fluidity on their part and flexibility on the parents' part can make room for issues to arise, express themselves... and also to relax after they really feel heard.

If your kiddo is "hearing voices," inside or outside their head... so long as it doesn't feel dangerous... have you tried to see if you can invite that character for a cup of tea? Ask how character feels? Draw pictures? Make up dialogues? Use puppets? Make a game character? Gestalt therapy uses "the empty chair" and puts a character "in it," with whom both guide and client can interact. Or parent/kid.

What externalizing therapy or genius parenting move has helped your family?

I feel sick inside. A doctor I work with, whom I’ve always had tremendous respect for, just told me he hope trump wins because otherwise in 10 years, illegals will take away our right to vote.

I told him I hope trump doesn’t win because I have a transgender daughter.

He looked a little taken aback and chagrined and then went back to talking about illegals.

This is an intelligent, educated person.

I’m on a ledge. I just have a feeling trump is going to win and then what?

I think I have to get my kid out of here.

Has anyone actually left the us? And willing to give details about it?

The last day to vote is November 5th!

Due to the news in Oregon about ballot boxes being set on fire/bombed, track your ballot here: https://www.vote.org/ballot-tracker-tools/

Check your voting location and status here: https://www.usa.gov/state-election-office

Check when early voting ends in your area: https://www.vote.org/early-voting-calendar/

It is absolutely crucial to vote in this election, ESPECIALLY if you are in a swing state. Project 2025 threatens our rights at Americans.

Project 2025 summary (by the Harris campaign): https://kamalaharris.com/project2025/?utm_medium=ads&utm_source=Google&utm_content=Search-Project2025-EXCT-KH-Ad1&utm_campaign=EVG&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwsoe5BhDiARIsAOXVoUsGQc_NrAbB73HCLOrityNjrOBYzlS5-cBSOG4SsCt9nGvtsUTFV2kaAvFeEALw_wcB

Project 2025 document: https://www.project2025.org/

There is SO much that we need to worry about, no matter the outcome of the election- although things will be A LOT worse with Dump in the White House. Living in DeSantis’s Florida is really rough for us. Unfortunately, we live in the northern part of Florida, so it’s mighty red, with some blue pockets. One of things that I have heard in the past is that we should just move, because Florida is a horrible place for trans youth. While we would love to, both of our jobs require us to live here. Of course, we can get other jobs……easier said than done. We have been discussing moving, but a good deal of the friendlier states are unaffordable (California, Vermont, etc). We have even discussed leaving the county and becoming expats.
My whole family has volunteered, we donated, we sent out postcards, not sure there is much more we can do…… Thanks for reading my venting

I don’t understand cis vs trans, can someone help me out?

I'm a 23yo trans woman and often watch cute father/daughter tiktoks and imagine what it would be like to have that sort of relationship. But I can't find any similar stuff with trans kids and their parents, just being funny, or loving, or supportive. I'd really love to hear from any parents here who want to say something nice about your child! Proud of a college graduation? Thought they looked beautiful at a wedding? Or maybe you think it's funny how they sort the silverware.

I would really appreciate hearing about some parental love <3

Anyone here ever have their kid transition far away and then essentially "meet" them as an adult? Idk how else to explain it. What's that like from a parent perspective?

I have lived 3000 miles from where I grew up for the last 6 years, and 4 years ago is when I first came out. My dad is out here rn helping me pack to move and I've just realized how much a culture shock this must be for him, given that he hasn't seen the process, really seen me, and definitely hasn't seen how I live before this.

Hi all,

My kiddo has decided she wants to start T-blockers. She isn’t on any other type of hormone therapy and we’ve done some research that seems to indicate she would need to be on hrt before starting t blockers.

I just wanted to see if any of you might have any advice on the steps we would need to take to start t-blockers. Her therapist has been a great help so far and has sent us a few endocrinologist in our area that she might be able to see, I’ll be calling them this week as well but wanted to come to you folks to see if you had any advice as well.

Edit: apologies for the confusion, I’m still new to this :) she wants to be on T-blockers.

Ty!

This already presents its own set of challenges under the best environment, but under trump…I’m fearful of even greater challenges for my child. They will graduate and begin college under this next administration. I am growing increasingly nervous for their life ahead. This could just be my paranoia, but are any other parents grappling with this fear?

Hi all, my 18 year old has recently expressed he want to transition from M to F. l'm looking for advice on how to help, due to Autism and a few other things, I am still looking after her, we don't know where to start to find clothes as she is tall and very self conscious, I have offered to just take my card and go shopping for what she wants but she says she doesn't know. I want to help but not sure if I should just go and buy a ton of stuff and then work out what's comfortable or the tight style, I also don't want to be overbearing trying to help to much on her journey. Any advice would be great. Thanks

Disclaimer: If I get any of the terminology or verbiage wrong in this post, I apologize. As the title says - I am new to this. I am posting here for some kind of support, after having lurked for about a week. Some of the terms and abbreviations I've seen I've been able to look up and make sense of, others not so much. I do not mean to offend anyone here, and I am not intending to come off as a transphobe or a bigot or someone who's spreading hate. In truth, I'm a scared, lost man who loves his kids and doesn't feel like he has any footing to stand on right now... so I washed up here.

With that out of the way... here's little about me for perspective: I'm a cis male, almost 40, raised in a religious household though I've since defected from a lot of that (still have my personal faith, it doesn't align with my parents, sister, or cousins, etc. I was raised Southern Baptist for the most part (I know)... That said, I do not feel that homosexuality or transgender "stuff" is a "sin" - and even if it were, I don't feel that it'd be any different in God's eyes from any other sin, cause all are supposed to be equally covered through the redemption provided through the Resurrection. I don't push this on anyone, again only giving it for context.)

I am generally just a nerdy guy. I love comics, video games and the like. I've been married for 15 years and I have two kids with that woman. My kids are 13 (f) and 14(m).

At least that's how I'd of said that last part up until about a week ago. Well maybe a month. In any case - NOW it's very hard for me to adjust to the new changes. They feel so sudden. My wife says they aren't, that the kid has talked to her a lot over the last 2-4 years or so about this, but I just don't know.

Long and short of it - My son now says they are my older daughter. They have a new name for themself. They even get mad if I use "they" when I'm trying to be sensitive to their needs. About a month ago, "they" was totally okay and they were using another non-birth name but now it isn't okay and that name isn't their name, either. Apparently it wasn't feminine enough or something, so now that's changed again. This kid has been dealing with overall undiagnosed dysphoria for about a year. They say that they're a therian. At first that started with doing the quadrobics and wearing masks and tails and stuff, then it turned into being an "otherkin" (Wendigo, specifically) and the kid goes on about cannibalism a lot...because guess what a Wendigo eats? So NOW in addition to ALL of that they're stating they are trans. The trans stuff aside, I am very worried for my kid's well being and mental health. I'll get into more of why that is in a bit...

At the same time, my daughter now wants to be called a more masculine name and has proclaimed they are nonbinary. They are a lot less angry or adamant about their stuff. It sort of feels like it's tacked on just to have common ground to relate with their older sibling, but if not - I am trying to do the things they ask as well.

One of my best friends is even MTF and has been going through a ton of health issues waiting for a kidney transplant, and I've been there thick or thin for them in every way that I can be. They're a lot more relaxed with the pronouns thing, though. I probably call them "dude" more than I should, it's just the way I talk most of the time. I don't even realize I'm doing it. My friend is a lot older than my kids, too (50's) and honestly they don't seem to really care as long as they aren't being dead-named on the job or something.

As far as my wife goes... wife has just flipped a switch and it was so natural for her with the names and pronouns and all of it. "He" is now "she" and "she" is now "they" in all things and that's just the status quo. I want to take a page from her book but I have some kind of mental block that's making it difficult. Every time I hear her say one of them, especially the new "she" in the house, it feels like someone is murdering my kid again and again and again and they're making me watch while telling me I can't do anything about it. That may sound dramatic but honestly, I feel like I'm grieving... and I'm trying hard not to be resentful, because the "killer" in this case is the same person that I'm grieving on some levels. It's my kid.

Another important thing to note is that both of my kids have been dealing with self-harm and thoughts of suicide since the school year started. We've had them through crisis intervention, and they've seen some doctors, but no psychiatric evaluations yet and the doctor who saw my son wasn't equipped to handle transgender conversations so we got a referral to some other adolescent pediatric specialist... but it's all waiting. I think their next available appointment isn't until almost Christmas. It's a LONG time to wait for support when it feels like every day over the last two weeks has been another new "thing". The silver lining of any of this is that despite it all they're both keeping pretty solid grades. They're smart kids. I love those kids so much. I'm not crying, you're seeing things... fuck...

I have been "blessed" as an over-thinker, in case you can't tell, and so there is a part of me that's like... clearly neither of my kids are in a good mental or emotional place just in general. As a parent, that's the first thing I want to address. It's the thing we have appointments for, and damn our American healthcare system for being jacked up in such a way that everything is a 3-4 month wait at minimum... but it's where we are.

I feel like that stuff is at least partially separate from the identity stuff, because you can be anxious and depressed and suicidal while adopting any identity under the sun. My son could be my son and depressed/suicidal just as easily as they could be my daughter and depressed/suicidal. I won't rule out, but don't think that necessarily pushing and rushing into a new identity is going to cure them of the other stuff that ails them. I hope that makes sense.

I also want to be clear - I'm not implying that mental illness = trans identity or anything remotely close to that... but I do think that some things need to be addressed before we start conversations about something like HRT, because I just don't feel like MORE hormones is going to make things LESS crazy. When has it ever? Then again - what do I know? I know the kid got really mad at me when I told them I wasn't going to just go rushing into HRT sort of things when they're just painting their fingernails and adopting pronouns right now. I have this stance for their well being. It's not to be mean or keep them from being their true self. I just need to rule out the other stuff for them as their caretaker right now.

My wife disagrees with me a bit on this, but she's also prone to kind of just always giving the kids what they say will make them happy in all circumstances and so far that has mostly just created some kids who by my biased opinion are great overall, but are also more self-entitled and spoiled than I'd like to see them be, too... so I can't fully trust her lead on this, either. We know that junk food in large quantities helps raise depression rates and still she keeps buying them junk food of all kinds every week without moderation just because they ask for it. They don't even beg. It's like they tell he to pick up candy and she's like "Okay, I'm buying you candy." It's a whole ... other... thing.

Also... like I remember being their age and nothing felt real or good for me, either. I wasn't dysphoric (I don't guess) so I can't say I 100% know what they're going through... I just don't know. Sigh...

All that I DO know is that I don't want to lose my kids, wife, or marriage over my reaction or handling of this whole thing... but I just don't know how to act, what to say, how to be.... and when I tell the kids how I love them and I'm there for them, because I can't express it to their liking 100% immediately the way their mom can, they just don't believe me. Again, this isn't fully a new thing just before it was "You don't love me because you don't get me everything I want when I ask for it." and now it's this deeper stuff.

I do not say with pride that I can't say I've always been an ally. I haven't. I know my current struggles with this situation is at least partially because of my upbringing. At the height of my religious conditioning (aka "upbringing") I was very much against all of it. But - for the last 10-15 years or so I have been an ally. As I said above, my views changed. I personally feel God lead me to a deeper understanding of it all. Even with that solace to lean on, in general, this is a lot for me to process.

We're 10 days from an election that could paint a world that would be welcoming and inclusive to these kids of mine, or it could be a hell scape for them. I can't protect them if it's the latter. I'm not equipped for this. I don't want them to hurt themselves or to be hurt by others. I want them to be safe, free, and... happy. I want to be an active participant in making sure they can be those things. Like we never look forward to holiday season with my family but if this is the year we don't see them anymore I think I'm basically ready to go through all of that extra intolerable stuff.

I don't know if any of this is coherent or if it's just a huge wall of text, but if you've stuck through it all to this point I want to at least thank you for listening. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this who doesn't have a super polarized opinion or a 4-month waiting list to be seen. I can't talk to any family. When I try to talk to my wife about the things, it turns into an argument, and I can only assume the blame is on me for that because I must not be articulating how I feel properly. It's just a mess and I want to make things better, not worse.

I don't even know what I need by posting this. Maybe it was the outlet. Any perspective from anyone who has walked this path similarly before would be great, I guess... even a kind word on how I can get right whatever I may have said or done wrong just in how I talked about this is totally welcome. Again, I'm just a dad who is knew to all of this and I just want my kids to be alive and healthy and themselves, whatever that ends up being.

UPDATE: Thank you all for your feedback. I have taken some good meat from this conversation, and again I apologize for the emotional dump. I have started journaling and taking things a day at a time, personally. I think honestly the biggest thing is me getting me right so I can support my kids in whatever way they need it. This entire post was totally unnecessary in a way, but I appreciate those of you who humored me for your kindness in doing so.

For whatever it's worth, my son decided last night after over a week of trying out the new name and pronouns that they like their birth name best and are fine being using male pronouns, etc. I was very careful to make sure they understood that it's okay either way, and they said it just didn't feel right. Wasn't the right time at least. Now their anxiety is on how to tell their other friends, all of whom are somewhere within the LGBTQ+ range of existence, to stop using that last chosen name. After we talked about it, I think he's of a mind that his friends will accept him either way. I hope so and think so, anyway. They're still going to the Jr. High fall dance this Friday and I think he may still be trying to get a new dress to wear for it, so it's whatever makes them happy, really.

Thanks again for the kind words and understanding from everyone here.

recently things have been a little tough for us. my kid explicitly came out to his dad through text very recently and got a negative response.. my ex husband is a real piece of work and i wasnt surprised. he says that he doesnt care but he could just be trying to reassure me

a few hours ago he told me that he wishes he never came out to me . he came out a couple of years ago but he has my full support now. he knows that and ive made sure of it. I ask him why and if he feels like hes making a mistake or if he doesn't want to transition anymore.. id support him if he went down that route of changing his mind. he said no and that hes happy presenting as male. i tell him 'okay, that's cool.'

but im confused now. i dont see why he would regret coming out ( to me , i mean.. i see why he would have regretted coming out to his dad ) while not regretting transitioning . Last week we talked about hormones too and how much he'll need to be ready, both financially and emotionally. i dont want him working this year because he has exams coming up.. he doesn't want to either. but he'll have time for a part time job next year. i told him about some services i read about that offer the treatment he wants, and we talked about it.. ive honestly researched so much for him and it was nice to sit down and explain our thoughts on it. i thought it was a good discussion, we have a plan for his future.. there's hope. Weve even talked about surgery though that isnt available for under 18 year olds, and ive said that its his body and his choice. even though he'll be an adult when he goes through it, hes always welcome home and I'd absolutely help with his recovery.

im looking into helping him get a legal name change without the consent of my ex husband.. i would have done it by now if it werent for him. hes taken the initiative and has emailed people about it these week and im proud of him, but he'll need my consent which ill happily provide. i contacted his school a year ago to change his name on the register.. his nhs information is updated to his correct gender and name after he emailed them and after i called on his behalf. im working on helping him update his passport and getting a card with his name. i buy him binders no matter the price and get him period underwear. ive helped him go to school non disclosingly and students dont know about his identity.. im not 100% sure on what i think of that aspect but i respect if hes discreet and wont intefere with it as long as hes safe. i know that it's tough for transgender kids but ive helped him be his true self.

he once told me that the most transphobia he's had to deal with was from family and that he's had no issues with friends or society or school ( and even no issues with men, when i asked..) , apart from the current bathroom situation with his teachers.. which was heartbreaking to hear. A lot of extended family dont support it and i absolutely am upset on his behalf about that. but hes made me out to be unsupportive before ( maybe to fit in with other trans kids who have unsupportive parents.. but he doesnt talk to any and has always been discreet about his identity). i do love and support him. i tell him that often. he thinks i treat him like a girl who just goes by male pronouns- i don't. im not sure what he meant by that.. I was all for traditional gender roles in the past but since he came out, ive pushed back on that and challanged my own beliefs.. even when it comes to his sister. im not sure how else he wants to be treated like a son or boy. the biggest reason he feels like i don't is because i'm concerned about his safety as a trans child. he doesnt want to talk about it, but teens don't like talking about many important topics. For now he has breasts and a vagina at the end of the day.. it doesn't make him a woman at all and i will never tell him that hes a girl, but its the reality of his body. theres extra risks with him being trans.. what if hes assaulted or treated differently for it? i would rather have him educated and ready for any issues with his identity. besides that.. i can't think of any other way i treat him differently.. he's just my child and my son

i think that he might elaborate on why he said that if i prod a bit more, but im planning on waiting a little before asking. ive just talked to my friend about this but i don't think she knew what to say since her son is gay and not transgender . she suggested that it might be because im his safe person and he's taking out his frustration with my ex on me and that makes a lot of sense. Or maybe he does want to de transition but doesnt want me to know yet. im not really looking for advice but these issues are so complex and communicating is so important..

I’m not sure where to start but my son is 18 years old and he came to me a few months ago and told me how he wanted to transition to female. We have had conversations here and there over the past few years, but we have never just straight out talked about it. I am absolutely supportive of his decision. I will be honest, and I am scared not because of the whole transition thing because I know that he struggles and this I believe will be the best thing for him. It is due to how to go about the whole thing, he has researched this for a while and he wants to start injections, but I just need information on how to go about the transition in the best way for him. He does not want to see a doctor or anything like that. I don’t know if he needs to during the process, but this is why I’m posting because I just need all the answers possible. He is ready to start this like now, but I want to make sure it is being done the best way possible. I appreciate any advice, answers, and questions that you have for me if any. I am so happy to have found this group.

My AMAB kid came out to us as NB a while back and changed her name to a more feminine one but wanted to stick with he/him pronouns. Now she has asked if we can use she/her pronouns.

I'm struggling a bit more with this because old habits die hard. That's not my biggest struggle though, it's not wanting to out her to anyone she doesn't want to be out to.

I thoughtlessly told my longest BFF that she is NB when asked about the change of name. I wish I hadn't, because she is married to a TERF. Now we just don't talk about it but we only meet by Skype and I make my poor health the reason for that. (It often is the reason, but not always.) I don't want to make that mistake again.

My kid is really cool about it and just worried in case she is coming between me and an old friend. I've reassured her that that really isn't the case. If BFF turns out to be a full-on TERF, well that is a reason to cool the friendship or end it, not that my kid is trans.

My kid has said to use she/her with anyone I think will be OK with the changes. I have a friend coming over next week and I know she has supported other trans people in the past, including some who are NB. So I feel happy to use correct pronouns and for her to see kid in her new more feminine appearance - I know she'll be cool.

I don't think I'm really asking anything. I just wanted to be able to share with other people who will understand.

Oh, and this is a throwaway account. I really don't want to out my kid.

Trans kid here piggy-backing off of a post from earlier.

I am ultimately at a loss for words on how I could even begin to bare my parents' grief. I know they will grieve, and I know that they, who knew I demanded I was a boy from toddlerhood and up, will also grieve knowing how profound their actions were if they ever choose to do the emotional work it takes to make things right. I'm not saying I have to bare it literally, but it does deeply sadden me to think about sometimes. I know it will be hard for them. I respect that it will be hard for them. It shouldn't be, but it will be.

I don't think they're quite a lost cause. I guess I want to see some hope for them, that they might gain something positive despite it all. There must be something hiding in all that grief that leads you to accept, and to actually see, your child. I'm not sure I'll ever see it, but I'm sure it's in them somewhere.

I don't intend to be dismal or anything. I just find these conversations to be a bit sad. I'm not sure how to make it more digestible. You guys have done great things for us trans kids. It is warming to see people fight for their kids. Lord knows we need it.

I’m trans and must admit I can never truly understand this. My mother also claimed to grieve the ”son” she lost, but which was an idea supported by my independent therapist at that time.

I wonder what is the element of your life which disappeared. How having a trans kid is possibly emotionally taxing for you.

I'm having issues w/my daughter.(26) MTF..she has become so self centered. Shows me little respect. She's disrespectful and sometimes just mean. Shis in college out of state. I fear that she describes her childhood much more difficult than it was. Like she needs to tell stories to make her struggle sincere. This is a huge issue for me bc its fiction. Idk where this came from but I've had enuf. I want to talk about it but I'm afraid of losing her. Advice?

I’m an adult trans woman of 26, and realized I was trans back in March. In June I told my mom, whom I love with, I was her daughter and she was physically sick to her stomach. She said I had broken her heart, and had me see a psychiatrist she knew for “adulting” and for an autism eval. The psychiatrist told her he couldn’t disapprove I have gender dysphoria, and told me that he would suggest a councilor for us to go see together, if she asks him.

It’s been four months and I’m not treated as a trans woman at home, even though everyone knows. My mom, my mommy, means the world to me. I have nightmares reliving her telling me I broke her heart.

I just want to know if someone here could help me see things through her pov. I know she loves me a lot. She sent me to good schools (including an all boys hs). Shortly after I told her I’m trans, she said she wanted me to move out. She hasn’t mentioned it since, but I have a plan to move out lined up. But I don’t want this to end what we have. She’s politically a progressive person. I just don’t understand. Wouldn’t she be happy to have a daughter?

My 4 year old AMAB has started to say “I want to be a girl” but also says he wants to look like daddy and grandpa not mummy when he grows up. He has a mix of masc and fem clothing but says he wants to be a girl because of pink and sparkles. I’m totally supportive if he is trans or gender fluid but I also want to make sure he doesn’t feel like his preference in colours affects his identity. Any advice navigating the conversations would be great

My son came to me last night (just turned 15) and said he feels like he identifies as a girl. He said for the past month he’s been really thinking about it and I have seen him watching YouTube videos on the subject.

A few years ago he told me he felt nonbinary. I told him I’d support him no matter what and he didn’t mention it since.

I love and will always support my son so I don’t want to seem like I’m writing him off when I ask this but my gut reaction was it’s only been a month, are you sure? Of course I didn’t say that out loud but it is one of my concerns.

I also know he would lose family members, even his dad. That scares me. As a parent I don’t want my son to go through that and through the pain of being harshly judged so I know thinking I hope this is nothing is selfish.

At the end of the day I want to be there for him but im not sure how. I’m scared of saying or doing the wrong thing, I want to be his safe space. I’m thinking about finding him a therapist but I’m not sure if that’s the right move either.

Any advice?

Hi experienced parents of trans kids… We have our first appointment coming up for our NB 9 year old. We are so lucky to live in a state with consent to treat laws (so they don’t need a medical diagnosis like gender dysphoria) and laws that generally don’t target trans youth. So we will be discussing puberty blockers. Can anyone tell me about their experience with them, especially any “end game” plans for NB kids? My child hates their breast buds and says they want a deep voice and goatee when they grow up but they are afraid of looking like a “little kid” for longer than their peers.

We’ve explained that lots of kids are late bloomers naturally so they won’t be the only one, but I also struggle with knowing what the next step even is after puberty blockers. Just buying time to let them figure it out? I’m fine with that but does it actually help? They don’t say they are a boy but they are “masc” leaning. I just want to do what’s right to help them.

Finally, any questions you wish you had asked at your first appointment? Our pediatrician is very supportive and referred us.