Hello to all of you who read this 🌹 I am looking for advice or points of view from this lovely community, I'm sorry if this is long:

My boyfriend is autistic (late diagnosis, he is 28 and he was diagnosed through ADOS-2 with 13 points a little while into us meeting, we have been together for about 6 months) and as we have ventured into our relationship that has been great overall I have come to struggle with dealing with his behavior more and more, mainly about his behavior towards my feelings and how stuff he does or doesn't, affects me. I dont know if it is autism or he just lost interest in me and the relationship for example:

Sometimes but often, we are texting and doesn't answer o answer just what he wants but he used to answer most of what I asked him, often he doesn't ask about things back.

If I tell him I am feeling bad or down, often he doesn't take into account that message, instead he chooses to answer another text I sent asking him about something he did or likes so the conversation doesn't die there and he answers something..

He doesn't seem interested in what I like, very rarely he asks about my hobbies, interests or pets, even if I tell him they have some kind of issue or stuff (We have spoken about this, he says bc of hyperfixation he doesn't have too much interest in what he doesn't hyperfixates in, but told me that maybe if I repeat things enough and try to relate them to stuff he likes he may grow to like them/interest himself, but what, then I have to tire myself trying to get him invested even when he shows no interest? I always try to learn about what he likes, but it is draining not having at least a bit of it back, I can tell him about stuff but he mostly just ignores it).

I'm always there for him, I dont feel like he is there for me, when he is sick I go to try to take care of him, if I'm not there I'm constantly checking up on him, if he feels bad mentally I try to see how can I help him, if talking or going to see him, he doesn't do any of that. He doesn't like coming over to my place cuz I don't live alone which I kinda understand but he has not come over in like 2 months or more, I always go to his, he says it is easier and more convenient, but of course for him it is.

He complains that I bottle up how I feel, but when I tell him he doesn't seem interested, "comforts" me shortly and tries to change the topic to something else of his interest or goes do something else.

I feel like he used to be more loving or invested in me/us, maybe it is normal in relationships, I have had 2 long relationships (2yrs+) but I have to acknowledge that both have left me scarred, I try not to bring past issues of different men into this new relationship, but I can't help but noticing patterns of when they lost interest vs him and his behavior, he has had at least like 5 exgf and a couple situationships but his longest has been 6 months, maybe he doesn't know how to navigate relationships longer since it is the longest he's had? As far as I have understood, they ended bc the exes fucked up, I do believe him according to what he told me.

I dont want to feel like I am chasing after him to get some crumbles of care, I want to try and know if all of this has something to do with autism or he just doesn't care or love me.

Maybe I should not prioritize him that much?

A part of me tells me i should just match his energy, if he doesn't talk to me, then I won't, if he doesn't ask how I feel or take it into account, then me neither, but I don't feel right doing that, I know it will just destroy what we have.

I know for a fact that he sometimes ignores my messages but he feels bad about it, he told me that much.

Maybe since he says that with me is the only partner that he has been able to attach securely he has grown comfortable and maybe taking me from granted?

I don't know how to approach all of these topics and more since I don't want to be accusatory, or not taking into account things that may be affecting his behavior that maybe he can't help? (But I don't know I feel like if you really care about someone you at least try? But i dont know if with autism is different?).

I don't know how to start the conversation, like, maybe start with how has he been feeling lately and stuff, maybe he is going through a tough time and doesn't tell me? Maybe also ask what he expects of me and what he thinks I expect from him in this relationship,

He takes medication but is not on psychological therapy, i really think he should go to that too, his meds are for depression, anxiety, PTSD and ADHD.

Since a couple of months ago I have been trying to find the right professionals for me but I have not been very successful, I have a new appointment in three days, I was on meds (escitalopram and lisdexamfetamine, he also takes those two) but not anymore, teachers suspected when I was in school (in that time about 15 yrs ago) that I may have had aspergers but my parents are old and have misconceptions about mental health care, I have not been diagnosed of anything by doctors, but have had a hard time with mental health as long as I can remember and I am currently going through a tough time so all of this affects me more.

I need help with this topic, I want to try and do stuff right and nice. Thanks.

Like if someone calls me a mother fucker, although I can understand what it means literally, I don't care and it registers as an esoteric inflammatory expression instead. Or let's say someone says "son of a bitch" for another example, I won't then get offended on my mother's behalf because why would I? It seems silly to me. They're just figurative to me. Then on the other hand, neurotypicals can take swears literally.

What is the BEST thing you have bought to help with autism related stresses/troubles?

I'm thinking loop ear plugs, weighted blankets etc.

**TL;DR:** I need help finding fruits, nuts, and non-vegetable sources of vital nutrients.

I've been struggling with vegetables since I was a child, and it has been a source of shame that i cannot bring myself to eat some of them. Some do taste bad, but my main issue is the *texture*. When I was younger, it was so bad that attempting to eat one of these foods would trigger an involuntary gag reflex.

Although I've been able to "grow out of" that involuntary gag reflex for most foods, the textures are still very unpleasant, and most of the time i cannot bring myself to eat meals that include these vegetables.

Usually, my main issue is the staple veggies that people love to mix into things, such as onions, peppers, tomatoes, etc. I can handle some veggies on their own, like lettuce, carrots, corn, brussel sprouts, and spinach. However, the moment they're put IN some dish or on a sandwich, I cannot stand it. I used to have problems with some fruits and nuts, but my tastes changed, and I can eat 98% of the fruits and nuts offered to me.

I'm very unhealthy because of this, and want to improve myself, but gaging down these vegetables are proving too difficult.

Are there any alternative ways that you use to get your nutrients?

Working 6 times a week 8 hours a day, where is time for myself? 5 days of internship and 1 day of actual working, I WANT SOME ME TIME, WHERE IS IT. :(

And with some me time, I mean more than 1 day of me time. I cannot recover in 1 day.

There is a lot of talk amongst NTs about “the authentic self”, or the “unmasked self” amongst NDs.

But to me, it sure seems like any level of meaningful interaction with the world/others necessitates a mask.

The “real”/“unmasked” me amounts to little more than a ghost or a blank. It’s like an overly-sensitive and mute child. Very minimal functionality.

As such, my default state when unable to mask = no friends, no romance, workout a lot (while avoiding interaction), daydream about what could be accomplished with the perfect series of masks, and consuming nostalgia & “cheap dopamine.”

Basically almost all worthwhile interactions and endeavors are mask-dependent. (Even writing this post, there is a subtle layer of pretend.) Kind of like how you need a mouse cursor to interact with icons on a computer screen.

My intuition is that NTs mask just as much as we do (without having it be insanely taxing), but that they also have a functional core identity that they can default to and still get by. -- Meanwhile NDs have this painful “blank”/“ghost” as our default or core, which can be very unfunctional and would probably perish in a true survival of the fittest scenario.

There’s really not much of a point to this post.. I guess I’m finally being hit with imposter syndrome?

But I’m curious if others can relate or not..?

Just like the title says, is stopping a task you are in the middle of to eat or sleep difficult for anyone else lol? I routinely find myself setting a hard line I need to stop, even if I have stopped it and I go to put something away, blink and it's several hours later and the task I wasn't supposed to be doing is complete and I have ruined my night's sleep lol. Can others relate?

Cut a long story short, I have an autism assessment in a little over a month. I (and my friends and colleagues) have had thoughts for a while that I might be autistic and I finally have got round to having my assessment. My parents on the other hand are from an older generation and have a lot of negative stereotypes against autism and refuse to acknowledge that I might have it. My issue is that I need one of them (preferably my mum) to be my ‘informer’ for my assessment as they are only people who would be able to give an accurate picture of me through the years. Does anyone have any suggestions with how I go about asking her? Any help would be appreciated because it’s causing a lot of stress.

Hey all, for most of my life I’ve been in and out of burnout. The worst of it beginning when I went to college and began having more demands.

In June 2024 I burned out HARD, harder than ever before and had to stop working. I was 30-40 pounds underweight and could barely leave my apartment, my relationship was struggling due to constant meltdowns.

I went to an inpatient facility that did end up helping me get re-fed, and on the right meds, and I got out of that program in October of 2024. Now, in February, I’m finally out of the woods.

I have gained back all the weight I have lost, my meltdowns are few and far between, I am able to socialize and take care of the chores, help my partner with tasks, and take care of the animals. I am no longer not in control of my self and emotional state, I’m really thankful for this.

Now, all that is left is the block I am experiencing vocationally/creatively. I can do chores, see friends, go shopping, cook food, do hygiene, and sleep enough, but I cannot learn anything new, take on large tasks, meet new people, or expand my current world whatsoever.

Doing so brings me back to feelings of panic and overwhelm I previously felt.

I have a lot of trauma when it comes to learning new skills, and have a CPTSD diagnosis from an almost decade long experience in an incredibly toxic and abusive situation.

I was heavily ridiculed and often yelled at for small mistakes.

I feel unable to start anything new. My insulated world I’ve created for myself this past year is finally manageable, but I still yearn for more purpose in my life, more fulfillment.

This feels like a mix of agoraphobic feelings of not feeling safe in society/ being worried the world is going to send me into the very frightening state I was in before if I attempt to re-enter, and also a deep fear and intolerance of learning new skills or trying new things.

I want to honor my apprehension, and my therapist agrees I am not ready to work again, but I do feel like I am wanting to expand my world.

Previously, I would just go from 0-100 with this kind of stuff. Clearly, that did not go well before.

How did you re-enter society after a stint of intense isolation? What micro steps helped you build tolerance to learning new skills?

I am really frustrated. Everytime I do things I like I am hitting a beautiful shutdown afterwards. Today I went to watch a children's movies at the movies theater, sat at my parents table and had breakfast, cake and dinner.

I am really disappointed, that 'all of that' was too much for my brain and thought of staying unemployed, because I cannot bother anyone to pay me for being such a failure...

Thanks. That's my self-esteem at it's lowest. 👍🏼

I'm on my third attempt at an assessment. First was very brief "along with" treatment of anxiety disorder with panic. So not a real assessment, it was just brushed under the corner because all the answers I had given in regards to me where in regards to panic anxiety, and not autism.

The second was at an actual autism center, after having to apply twice, and was only two sessions with a nurse and ADOS-2 (I do not know which module.) And they said "we don't know if he has autism, or if it's from childhood trauma", and then I was tossed out (It felt very unpersonal, unpleasant and rushed.)

Now finally, in a completely different part of the country I got into an actual district psychologist (previously I had only seen nurses, and people behind the scene had done the assessment) and I feel seen at last. From the very first session she said her two theories are #1, Autism, and #2, Avoidant Personality Disorder.

I've read up a lot on #2 and I don't see myself in any of the non-overlapping symptoms, but I'm not entirely sure.

I've also been reading the notes she has left in my journal online, and she's already picked up on a lot of things no one else has, and neither have I, like being literal, concrete thinking, difficulty with metaphors which I didn't think I have.

Now, I don't want to mess this up, I second guess everything and worry about what to say or do, because in trying to act natural I feel I'm not acting natural of that makes sense.

Last session we talked about understanding other people's emotions, I said mostly I think I have issues with it, unless it's very obvious, but I can't be sure unless someone tells me.

I've thought a lot about it, and was reminded of a few things. When I feel what I assume is sadness, it's painful, and it mostly comes when other people are very obviously sad. For example when I was with my family when my grandpa died, or when I watched "Dear Zachary: A letter to a son about his father" or similar things. And the more I think about it, I don't think I can see people's emotions, but I can see when they're not themselves, if that makes sense? Every person has their own rhythm, or baseline, and I can tell when that's not being followed, and that's how I know something is up.

Is this something I should bring back up? Last time I brought something up that I had thought about she responded with "So you've been thinking about that?" I don't know if that's a good thing or not. I Just don't have a lot of faith in the mental health sector in my country, especially for autism for adults, so I'm scared I'm going to accidentally say something that will wipe away all progress because of outdated or unknown checkboxes.

Lately I've been watching gossip videos about influencers. Some of them have nothing to do with me, but I think, "What if it was me?". An example. I saw a video the other day where a young woman graduated and had a stable job, but suddenly decided to study medicine and created a huge debt for herself and her family. . Many people have called her a mosque, and it makes sense. She's not a poor person or anything. But it ends up giving me intrusive thoughts.I want to go to college, but I'm a poor person and I find myself thinking about how I could screw over my family. I feel frustrated because I don't have the ability to work, I'm afraid of screwing over my family and I'm afraid that the course I chose won't give me a return.I feel like a complete dead weight. I can't study, work or do anything and I constantly need help.

I haven’t been on this particular sub for very long. But long enough to get a feel for the general activity. I wish those out there to take my statement to heart. It is okay to just be you. You owe no one an explanation or excuse as to how or why you are the way you are. Look at it this way, you are just another human being that is a little different shade of grey. Some are a bit lighter and some are darker. But all are the same grey. And human. With all the same rights to live without the ridicule of another shade of grey. Your happiness will blossom when you realize this. And you don’t need another’s approval for anything. It’s your right as a human being.

Hey all, so I work in a group home supporting 3 high assistance girls with autism I'm the assistant manager and am trying to make the house feel more cute and home-y by decorating and would really like to put up some pictures of the girls But one of the girls will knock pictures down as often as possible 😅😅 So trying to see if anyone has any creative/cute alternative to pictures frames with glass to make it a bit safer

Does anyone wanna be friends?

I’ll do an introduction!! im esmay & im 15 years old!! i have asd and a intellectual disability, just so you know :> I like rainbows, the colours amaze me! I play roblox & I would love to play roblox with someone! I really also like dogs, especially dachtshunds and bulldogs!!

i can chat on instagram whatsapp and reddit of course!!

I’ve (50M) been diagnosed two weeks ago. This is my first post here, so I thought I’d try to make it good.

Since my diagnosis I’ve been trying to come up with analogies for people who are neurotypical, this is my latest one.

Neurotypical brains are like Mac OS or Windows—closed-source, standardized, optimized for broad compatibility, and designed for a seamless user experience. They prioritize ease of use and social integration, but customization is limited.

Autistic brains, on the other hand, are like Linux—open-source, deeply configurable, powerful, but not always compatible with mainstream software. It requires more specialized knowledge to use efficiently, and it doesn’t always play nicely with the systems built for Mac OS/Windows, but it offers incredible flexibility and depth for those who understand it.

Many autistic people spend years learning how to dual boot, running a neurotypical-compatible OS when needed—masking, mimicking, and adjusting to fit into environments designed for Mac OS users. Some even run a virtual machine, simulating neurotypical behavior on top of their native system, which drains processing power and eventually leads to burnout.

When people talk about “curing” or “rewiring” autism, they’re basically suggesting that Linux can be permanently converted into Mac OS. But that’s not how operating systems work. You can install compatibility layers, force it to mimic another OS, or suppress its natural functions, but deep down, the core architecture remains the same. And forcing a system to run software it wasn’t designed for doesn’t make it better—it just makes it unstable.

The real solution isn’t trying to overwrite Linux with Mac OS. It’s recognizing that Linux is a fully functional system in its own right and that instead of forcing it to conform, we should build environments that support and integrate both systems.”

Thoughts?

I’ve never really posted on here I just really wanna be able to go on a long rant about this. It’s been really difficult for me to get a job but after forever I got my first job two months ago I’ve been working in the kitchen and I actually really like it there for the most part but communication has been a big issue there. It’s always been difficult talking to people especially now in a work environment most of the time it’s people complaining about how I’m not loud enough or too shy there’s been two instances with two separate people having me repeat things over and over each time with them saying louder trying to get me to yell I understand their prospective because it is mostly a safety thing there having to be loud and I know I need to work on that I just really wish it wasn’t this way or that people wouldn’t treat me the way they do.

I’ve been trying to push that aside I think I’ve been getting a bit better more recently with talking there and just improving working there in general but I guess not because the other day I thought I was actually having a really good shift until I had a manager suggest I work at the front counter saying they think that’s a better fit for me. I’d like to believe that but I just know it’s going to be a huge failure. Dealing with customers all day sounds miserable I’m not gonna be able to do any good talking with customers not only that I also have dyscalculia I can’t count money. I’ve been practicing counting money to try and prepare but I don’t think anything could prepare me for this I feel like the second I get there I’ll just forget everything i tried practicing. I’ve been extremely paranoid about being fired ever since I got the job and now this is the worst it’s been I know I’m probably overthinking it like I have been but this is just the worst it’s been. I’m working till close today I’m not sure if I’m starting front counter today or not but if I am I’m basically convinced I’m gonna be fired right after they realize I can’t even do that right either.

I am autistic but I am finding it hard to write about how it is affected my life, I don’t think that it has that much. I have made little to no progress on my college essay, I’m trying to think about an example from my high school career and I don’t know what to do, it only really affected me from when I was younger from what I have noticed.

I’ve already asked about autistic passions, and now I’m kinda curious, how do all you (And me) autistic redditors stim? I know I love banging my head on hard objects (e.g. Walls, floors, chairs, books, etc.) and other ’weirder’ stims too, so there’s not to be ashamed abou, honestly they’re all different and completely fine. :)

i have suspicion my partner is autistic. his family has also felt that way. we had been together for 4 years. (broke up the other day) because i could feel this disconnect. we lived together for a while but had to move back home after he graduated school so started living separately. he is okay with space. i see space and not talking as him pulling away. i have anxiety and depression that i am medicated and a form of ocd. so i struggle with trying to read every action and tone of a person to figure out how they feel about me. he’s amazing and sweet. surprisingly i’m okay bc i have a strong feeling this break up won’t last. maybe i’m delusional. but when i went to see him after a month of being apart i naturally wanted to talk about things. how i felt all that woman stuff. and i kept pressing about how i felt like he wanted to break up. to which he cried ( i’ve only seen him cry like 3 time) told me how much he loves me but he constantly battles between not wanting to waste my time and not wanting to loose me bc how much i mean to him. then he shut down. stonewalled me which made me feel like he didn’t care. i’m now trying to see it as he couldn’t handle the emotions so he just stopped. i’ve always had a hard time feeling like understood by him when im upset or crying. i can b very emotional but i love that about myself. i cry over killing bugs. i cry to songs and movies. peoples stories. and that’s not somthing he can do. i would just like some tips so that if we do manage to come back together how i can understand. because he struggles to explain as well when im trying to grasp his thought process and emotions. i love him so much and want to do what i can to understand and not take how he does things as a personal hit or how much he cares about me. i’ve always wanted loved ones to do things for me without being told as well. like get me flowers. plan a date. i also struggle thinking that in order to make us truly work i have to set aside my emotions and process them on my own while i’m trying to help understand his. intimacy can b an issue at times as well. he can go a while without. or commonly will turn to online videos because it’s easier i guess despite knowing for years i don’t like that. any tips or knowledge or even plain ugly truth is appreciated

I held a knife close to my arm and was seconds away from stabbing it like crazy. It's almost like I can never do anything good in my life.

Yet another sucky cold bug. Sensory ick, especially if they trigger my asthma, which this did, like they almost always do. I had to deal with another ER visit filled with sensory bleh last night (bright lights, yuck fabric, nasal swab ruling out Covid and flu). They at least did the chest X-ray in the room, so no grabbing cold metal bars. But I’m still stuck with chest tightness and pain until this goes away, gross head cold symptoms, and my awful barking asthmatic cough. I hope this goes away soon 😩.

I always think of myself as very high functioning, but as of late I haven’t felt that. And people around me are starting to confirm that fact. This may be a question that only I can truly answer, but it’s made me really disappointed. There is actually no way I can connect with anyone. I feel myself losing my own spirit and creativity when this happens. Am I more low-functioning than I thought I was?

When I was younger I was quite proud I could speak up against teachers who i felt mistreated me, I always had the issue of not really viewing anybody below or above me, just equal

Now I have a full time job though and I’m struggling to change this mindset. I know deep down my boss words is important and must be followed but i find myself still wanting to bend the rules from time to time

Is this normal for other people who are currently working?

Now there are so many and thay are all over the place. A list of (some) of my specialst interests. Thare are probably gona be so many I forgot to put here and will want to come back and add them
Reddit and learning more about my autism is my biggest special interest at the time. Well actual dogs and cats are but that’s just forever allways. My iPhone 📱 My ogs are still around like anything Disney. Mickey and Minnie Mouse. 🐭 🧚Tinkerbell. Little mermaid 🧜🏻‍♀️Ariel and flounder. 🐠Nintendo. 🎮 Super Mario bros Mario kart Mario party. ⭐️ 🍄 Animal crossing. 🦄🦊🐱🐶🐹🐼🐻Uno card game. Cards 🃏 Skip Bo card game. Chuck E. Cheese history. 🍕 Show biz pizza place. Horse racing. 🏇 The movie Luck from Apple TV 🐈‍⬛ 🍀 tigers 🐅 axolotls (especial pink leucys ) 🦜 parrot and glo fish 🐠 Disney movies like Coco. Soul. And Encanto. Star Wars. Especial Luke skywalker Princess Leia and Anakin / Darth Vader and his story of redemption 🚀 Star Trek 👽 Lana Del Rey and The Weeknd 🎶 🎵 Krayzie Bone from Bone Thugs n Harmony 🎤 the city of Detroit Michigan 🌃 Lee Pace and the TV show Foundation. 80s music from rock bands like Starship and Def Leppard to r&b artists like Debarge and the Jets and 80s pop girl singers like Debbie Gibson Tiffany Martika Kim Wilde , 80s Christian pop music like Carman and Amy grant and Kim Boyce and Twila Paris and rich mullins and Keith green and Michael w smith. I can’t go bowling but I love to watch other peaple bowling 🎳 I love to watch monster truck shows. Magic shows. I love things like birthday party decorations and 🤡 🎪 circuses and carnivals 🎠🎢🎡and colorfol clowns. I love rainbow 🌈 anything and blues greens purples 💙💚💜I love relax in a swim pool or hot tub. I love yard sales garage sales and thrift shops and Christian books and music stores. I love bingo and casinos🎰 but I never get to go. Stardew valley 🏡. Disney dreamlight Sky Everafter falls. I miss tomodachi life. I play lots of mobile games mostly Mario kart tour and animal crossing pocket camp Pikmin bloom Finch and some anime games. Disney games like hero’s and rpg and emoji. Wreck it Ralph. Learning about the Jehovah’s Witness and the LDS churches. ⛪️ I can swing on a porch swing for hours and maladaptive daydream. I love flowers 💐 tulips 🌷 🌹 i know I will be adding so more to this list

Pretty much what the title says, I think I may be autistic. Some of the free online tests seem to indicate that it's likely. For other people who have been in my situation, what was the outcome?

this question can be answered any way u think fits! i really was just curious because i feel like even for neurotypicals all people have so many different interpretations of friendship! id love to know how some neurodivergent people view being friends with someone! :)

Hi all! I am currently getting my doctoral degree in psychology at Hofstra University. I have worked with autistic children and teens throughout my career. I am now doing research on the relationship between classroom setting and family-school partnership strength. Please check out the information below and take our survey!

TAKE OUR SURVEY: https://hofstra.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4HCN69c3Dg1fycK 

Participants must

1. Be the parents/guardians of a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder level 1 between the grades of kindergarten to 8th grade
2. The child is in either a mainstream or integrated co-teaching classroom (ICT) that they have been in for at least one full school year
3. Live in the United States
4. Be able to read English

So, I have realized that I have specific voices that comfort me. Listening to Them makes me feel safe or comfortable, and sometimes they’re also fun to do. For example, I like the YouTube Danny Gonzalez’s voice, and a specific dutch youtuber.

Also, I LOVE czech accents. This is probably because of Arcane. But I have also listened to czech people speak English, and I dont know why, but its just so relaxing.
There are more voices I like, but those are the ones I like the most. Does anyone else have comfort voices?