How do you deal with sensory issues with some holds ? For some of them it's the texture thatI hate and for others (like the weird square ones or the big bubbles) I feel like if I don't hold it with exactly the right angle my arms are gonna fall apart, DAE feels like this ? How do you cope ?

He gets yelled at in pool.

So (19m) here, to give some backstory:

recently i’ve been seeking mental health counseling at college and decided to take a big step (for me) and seek out help since I’ve been having the suspicion i might have adhd, i recently have gotten my assessment done and even prescribed non-stimulants.

but why I’m writing this is when i spoke to the practitioner i spoke to, i told her the reasons i thought i had adhd, and told her about my sister who has level 1 autism (who i coincidentally found out she had adhd as well just a few days earlier) and what struck out to me was when she asked me:

does your sister go to therapy (in general)/take medication (for adhd)? i said no to both. now maybe she recieves therapy at school (and its a discussion i’d like to have my mom, just waiting on her) but i fully doubt so since my county in my state is regarded to have very poor aid to children with autism and it’s something i’ve knowing for a while. regarding medication, my parents and largely my family have had a negative connotation to medication and a stigma towards it affecting growth. but the practcioner told me that stigma is common and told me to realize its no different to someone who takes medicine their whole life for diabetes.

so it brought me to a realization that a lot of the issues surrounding my sister and how she’s been raised could’ve been dealt a lot sooner and a lot more different than it currently is and i’m sorry to say but i believe the damage has been done

and i don’t want to make this too personal, but i believe my parents don’t have any faith in support for her and have gave up a while ago and just hold on to this belief that in the future she’ll suddenly “get better with time”

i don’t know where and how to seek this help for my sister, all my sister does is go to school, come home and just sit watching videos or drawing, this isn’t inherently bad but she does barely nothing with school regarding homework and projects, coping strategies and overall anything that would be regarded as healthy for someone at her age, i can’t believe she’s even diagnosed with level 1 autism since she needs WAY more support (i personally feel like she barely recieves any at all)

i want to help my sister out but with financial needs, i believe my family possibly is afraid and no idea where to start, sorry if this badly written but this is straight from my heart and would VERY much appreciate for responses to clear any connotations and biases i hold myself since i know i’m not as self aware as i think

I am a bit childish I guess. I've been scraping back every piece of childhood I missed out on because traumatic stuff didn't allow me to be a child when I should of been one. That includes getting into kidcore fashion. One thing I missed in my childhood were those foam puzzle piece mats to help kids break their falls easier, and because I'm super clumsy, I thought it would be perfect.

But then I remembered autismspeaks and how they made the puzzle piece basically a hate symbol at this point. I'm so angry that this disgusting organization took it. I wished they used something else instead. like something nobody would think looks aesthetically pleasing. I hate that I kinda like the design and don't know what to do about it.

I've thought about train mats, but they're not often as colorful as I'd want, twister mats would be a great design but they'll never come in a similar squishy mat texture for kids rooms. Just super thin plastic.

What else can I use? Don't feel like you need to answer this part. this is still a vent.

Hello, I am a 23 year old women with a big problem. I have AuHD, and I’m in my final semester of college but to get to my final semester I have to pass a big test. It’s been a year and I cannot pass it. My major is art education so I don’t take tests and I’m horrible at them. I need study tips because every time I sit down to study I can’t. I love what I’m studying but it doesn’t stick for the test and I can’t ever sit down to study and when I do I remember to clean things. Any advice? Passing this test would be life changing I’m literally so close to graduating it’s just this stupid test and all my school is offering for accommodation is extra time.

Sort of a rant while asking for advice on how to deal with this issue.

On top of being I'm also pretty highly introverted, and not much of a daily talker, (certainly not for small-talk) but I do pretty alright if there's a specific topic at hand or activity.

I made a new friend in a game recently, and without fail, every single day they message me good morning. I didn't think anything of it the first couple days but now I'm starting to get annoyed and catching myself not wanting to reply to them because I'm frustrated with the communication style.

I think the thing that bothers me about it perhaps is sort of a PDA issue? Like if someone says good morning, it now forces me to say good morning too, otherwise I am rude. But, we just talked to each other last night! We talk everyday! Why are we resetting back to small talk after a night of sleep? It's so frustrating to feel like we're not making progress in the friendship to get past this point. In my other relationships, we only do pleasantries at the beginning of the conversation if we haven't seen each other in awhile or checked in emotionally (2+ weeks). I do not find it socially necessary to say good morning. I much prefer if people just get to the point of why they're messaging me. Just send me the meme you saw, if it's about the game we can jump to talking about that. I really do not do well with this overly structured communication style.

I feel really guilty today because I know there are a lot of people who would love a good morning text. So I want to try to address the issue before it snowballs, it's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment but I just don't prefer this type of communication and I don't want to start the day off annoyed. But is it okay to ask someone not to do this? Usually it's much easier to change yourself than it is other people so I'm just wondering if it's out of line for me to consider asking in the first place?

What would be a good way to convey this? And if it's not okay to ask what are some other solutions?

Idk if this is just me, but I’ve been wearing the same pair of tennis shoes for years because they’re like the only pair I found that is wide enough in the toes and the tongue doesn’t shift over constantly (which drives me nuts). Literally the only pair of tennis shoes I can remember having that the tongue doesn’t shift to the side constantly. Is this just a me thing or does it drive y’all insane too?

Hi folks My son is 3 and just at the end of getting his diagnosis (no final report yet but we've already been told what will be on it). He is very sensitive to noise, and his response to it is to make more noise. So for example in the noisy lobby of a hotel he will start singing very loudly. I just wanted to reach out to the community and ask if someone can help me understand his experience with noise and why he would be promoted to make more noise when it is loud for him.

Thanks 👍

I am a college student and can’t afford therapy but loneliness ravages my life as I watch everyone else around me making friends and getting married. One time I put a love note in a girls choir folder and she just got mad at me and called me a creep. I dress like a 1950s greaser but people say my hair just looks like I haven’t washed it in weeks. But it’s product not actual greasy hair. Is that part of my problem.

Fellow autistics: A certain entertainer (Asmongold) drops R slurs like it's a party favor, and people wanna tell me he's 'a nice person irl'.

Do you think that dropping slurs to make money stops you from 'being a nice person irl'?

I personally think anyone who drops slurs to make money(*) is not a good person IRL.

*Not talking about actors playing roles. It's very different from 'well that's just his persona'.

So I'm currently waiting for my psycharist referral that is processing for an assessment on autism and adhd.

When I was about 16 or 17 I was in the same class with another girl who broke down under stress and that hit me for a bit. I tried to distract myself with other work but I eventually broke down myself. The teacher called in the schools counsellor and eventually I got off early because I didn't think I would make it to after lunch classes and calming down. Another small incident was when one of the assistants wanted to cry but didn't and I felt the same way and felt like shit for quite a bit. Does anyone experience this strange sort of empathy?.

I wear ear defenders when I go outside because I'm sensitive to noise. Whenever I'm not in school, I've worn ear defenders and it has been fine. People have never said anything. However, when I wear ear defenders at school, people in the corridors (other students) tend to harass me(specifically because I'm wearing ear defenders). They'll make loud noises right up close to me trying to get me to react. As well as that, some of them will wave hands in my face, which I hate. It could also be combined with the fact that I tend not to speak most of the time in school (although I do talk to people I know), because sometimes a specific group of people leaving the classroom I'm about to go into for my lessons try to kind of force me to speak, and although I'm not always great with social cues, I'm fairly sure it isn't them being friendly because they laugh while doing it. Also, I find people in school talk to me as if I'm younger than I actually am and as if I don't understand much. It just really annoys me, because I'm just trying to exist and not have a panic attack whilst walking down the corridors.

i have an extreme difficulty understanding the issue with most of the things i say, usually people are offended or made uncomfortable/mildly disturbed because of it and when i ask what’s wrong they act like i should already know when i’m not doing this on purpose.

these are two seperate situations. i’m including them in one post because i feel like it will be excessive lol. please specify which situation you are referring to when you respond :)

situation number one: this morning, we were doing RS (religious studies) at school. i realised that everyone on my table but one person seemed to be of dharmic religions (i’m buddhist, person opposite me is hindu and the person next to me was sikh. cause i was super wowed by this and the fact no one pointed it out i said “woah guys, we’re all of dharmic faiths except for (the girl that was christian sitting next to the hindu person)”. the christian girl said “excuse me?”, clearly displeased due to my comment. then i asked what was wrong with what i acknowledged and everyone on my table looked super shocked. i have no clear idea what was so wrong with this.

situation number two: this occured in the lesson just after situation number one. i tend to use what are considered “big words” and phrase basic sentences in a poetic manner or as if i’m telling a story if you couldn’t tell from my choice of vocabulary earlier in this post. apparently this is considered odd because i am too young? (i’m 14, i don’t see how having a big vocabulary should be limited to my age.) i said to my teacher, “i currently do not have my geography book placed my desk which is unlike the situation the rest of my peers are experiencing”. the teacher got incredibly upset with me and ordered me to speak properly. this exact issue recurred multiple times across the lesson. (i said “greetings once again, ma’am, the amount of work which we were comissioned with has not become avaliable to me, so i was unable to complete the work”, during the register - i said “i am actively in the classroom”, “i believe that individual and unique opinions are not evenly distributed around the classroom”.) note: i don’t consistently talk like this. however i believe in all of her lessons, i have.

so i found out i’m autistic at 18 and it sent me spiralling because i realised i wasn’t “normal”. i already thought i was weird but the way i viewed myself went from just weird to there’s something wrong with me and i need to fix it. i started taking apart my personality, trying to suppress what i think my peers would find weird and trying to imitate what i thought normal is.

it’s been a while and i obviously still haven’t figured out what normal is (nor do i even actually want to anymore) but i can’t get myself to stop functioning from the view of “how would an allistic person act?”. i will admit it felt helpful at first, since i felt like i understood how to talk to people more but it’s spiralled into something even more unhealthy and i have subconsciously started suppressing my personality. it’s making me become extremely socially anxious and insecure about seeming weird or not acting how i think i should. it’s taking a huge toll on me.

at this point i don’t care if i seem weird, all i want is to be myself. it’s stopping me from building real connections because they become friends with this fake persona i’ve given myself and it’s sucking the joy out of everything for me. im tired of being constantly anxious and beating myself up for how i naturally am but i don’t know how to just stop trying to imitate allistic people. this behaviour i’ve picked up has gone from something i do consciously to subconsciously and i don’t know how to stop. please help!!

tldr: i want to stop trying to imitate allistic people and be myself but i don’t know how to since it feels hardwired into me.

I’ve heard before that lots of autistic people struggle with reading facial expressions and understanding peoples’ intentions.

I think I struggle with that too. But it’s less, “ I have absolutely no idea what they’re thinking “ and more, “ They hate me/ they’re mad at me, but I just can’t tell. “ OR “ They hate me/ they’re mad at me, but trying to hide it, or lying to me. “
So basically, my question is if some autistic people might struggle with reading people in THAT way.

I say “ sorry/ I’m sorry “ alllllll the time, because it’s veryyyyyy hard for me to tell when people are mad at me. So I just kind of assume they always are. People seem to think it’s annoying, but I can’t stop. People also think I’m rude ( when I’m not trying to be! ) all the time! So I have to be safe.

I was at a teen group earlier this year. Everybody else was having fun, laughing, and smiling. But I still started thinking, “ They’re all mad at me, because I don’t know when to talk, and I don’t fit in. They hate me. “ so I started crying in the middle of class. Even though most people probably wouldn’t think anything was wrong.

I just always assume people are mad at me, because reading faces, body language, and understanding vocal tones, are all very confusing to me. So that’s automatically where my mind jumps to.

( I do have a naturally monotone voice + resting b face, though. So sometimes people think this about me too, haha. ) But I think this about absolutely EVERYONEEEE. So I think it’s definitely worse for me than it is for other people.

Is anyone else like this? Could this potentially be an autism thing, or am I overthinking it?

( I’m not diagnosed. I’m just self suspecting at the moment ❤️ )

I saw the other post about people’s unpleasant textures and found some I couldn’t agree with, for example I love velvet and corduroy (crushed velvet is terrible however, both visually and texture wise). I got curious and I’d like to know if others here have fave textures that most autistic people really dislike lol

Like controlling eyebrows, facial expressions and in social interactions. I’d really appreciate it …

I tried unmasking by taking off a lot of these social pressures I feel to act “normal”. I have been working with a psychiatrist and seeing a behavioral therapist to sort out how to unmask. I finally reached a point where I felt confident enough in myself to let go of holding in a lot of my stims and tics. I stopped trying so hard to fix my tone of voice and constantly script my conversations and just speak naturally as myself. I was very very quiet before trying to hide and it felt so freeing initially to just be me, but I quickly realized that letting these walls down has people around me treating me so much worse.

It’s a harsh reality to see that when I was trying my best to be something I am not, everyone was so much more receptive. Now I refuse to allow myself back into that previous headspace of hiding and masking because it feels so unauthentic and repressing to me. I feel so stuck.

l’ve been called weird, random, awkward, strange, odd. I’ve been told I look lost, and asked why I’m moving my body the way I do with tics, why my face twitches, or people treating me like an infant or like I am a weirdo the moment I do anything that would show I am autistic. I had this happen before but not nearly as often

One example, I was hanging out one on one with a friend and they told me to calm down and “just chill” giving me a judgmental look because I clapped and waved my hands in excitement. It’s crushing me. When I started really being me everyone keeps giving me these remarks or telling me how to change or how I don’t fit in.

So, in like 2019, I went to an autism school, and the founder of my school (it was a small school) suggested to my dad that I take anti-depressants, because she was looking out for me, but they gave me heartburn and I was so tired, and I didn’t want to take any chances of getting heartburn, so I just abruptly stopped taking them because I was 16, I didn’t know that would mess with my brain, and when my dad told me that’s what happens, I told him to take me off them, because they were giving me heartburn, but he didn’t think it was the pills, he thought it was my American diet, which is a recipe for heartburn. Fast forward 5 years, my heartburn problems got so bad, we had to take me off my pills. Ever since, I’m not always tired, and my anger issues have gotten so low, I’ve never felt so free. This is a warning that meds can ruin your life

Hi. I was diagnosed with PDD-NOS when I was 4. ( My mom didn’t tell me about it until I was about 15 though. Probably because PDD-NOS stopped being a diagnosis when I was either 6 or 7. ) ( And because of that, the doctor just took it all away, because he didn’t think I struggled enough to have actual autism. ) ( Even though PDD-NOS is just considered autism today, as far as I’m aware. )

I’d like to get reevaluated though, because it’s been a while ( I’m turning 18 soon! ) and I do have many autism symptoms.

I’m probably more extroverted than some other autistic people, but I still struggle A LOT with socializing. ( Like social cues and understanding peoples’ intentions. I always ask myself things like “ When is it my turn to talk?/ Am I interrupting people on accident?/ Am I making eye contact normally?/ Am I making the right faces?/ Does my voice sound expressive enough, like a normal person’s would?/ Is everyone mad at me, but I can’t tell? “ ) I want to have friends, and talk to people, but people always think I’m rude, even when I’m not trying to be. ( Even over the internet, which is a much easier way for me to talk to people! )

And I have many other symptoms too. ( Like stimming, hyperfixations, sensory overload… )

Basically, I’m looking for a diagnosis. My parents seem on board for it too! But I’m worried it might be hard to get one. :(

Hello,

I'm sorry for my general ignorance. I made a great new friend online who is sometimes later this month coming over to play board games. I have BPD, and ADHD so I tend to have a very vocal and excitable style of communication. It can be intense even for a neurotypical, and I'd enjoy some advice on making my new friend comfortable when I communicate with him. My entire family is er rather loud, and this was imparted on me.

Thank you for any and all advice.

After years of suspecting that something was different about him, but not quite different enough to force us to do anything, I finally decided to pursue psychological testing for my 11 year old. His increasing emotional and behavioral difficulties with adjusting to Middle School were creating severe depression and anxiety and had escalated to self harm. After a comprehensive evaluation, we have walked away with an autism diagnosis.

I'm not sure how to go about telling him about the diagnosis. He has what once would have been considered Asperger's -- social, emotional, behavioral and communication impairments, but no cognitive or language impairments, being identified as exceptionally gifted/145 IQ on kindergarten entry. On the one hand, he sometimes says he feels something is wrong with him and he doesn't know why he feels or thinks or does certain things, but he has also lashed out at teachers/coaches who have tried to help with meltdowns and complains that "they talk to me like a baby/disabled/intellectually challenged person and I'm not, I'm really smart!!" and I think he will struggle to accept the idea that he has something officially "wrong"/different about him.

Whether you are a parent of a child diagnosed older, or an autistic person yourself, I'd be interested in hearing experiences with an older child learning about a diagnosis and how best to approach.

i don’t know whether i’m autistic or just neurodiverse etc in general but i honestly feel like i don’t actually belong anywhere like i don’t know how to have convos with my parent on families like i am too embarrassed to talk about interests (this isn’t a teenage thing it’s been since i was like little like watching tv shows etc i like and expressing i like something it makes me feel like they’ll bully me for it but i have no reason to think that) and i don’t know how to act like i always copy someone (sometimes not always but my personality very much adapts to whoever my biggest like friend crush is) and i’ll try act myself but i don’t know how. and i try having convos w my friends but honeslty they just tell me i’m weird or like i can’t carry it on and i struggle to make close friends and also i always feel tired and out of energy. i know autism etc if a spectrum but it only rly affects my communication, i don’t like certain like things that i think are gross like i don’t like touchy some stuff only a few bc it’s seems dirty to me. does anyone know why i feel this way ? i think i’m always like depressed not in a pick me way like since i was like 11 cuz of famikt stuff

To drive round the bend?

Hey all what kind of a doctor do I need to seek for a diagnosis? Do I need a referral first? I kno I have adhd but I do feel I am autistic. 2 people have even said that I might be based off behaviors? I’m 32, I tend to get bursts of energy and it makes me kinda want to run around, I get lost in music but not for lyrics , mostly the beat and I get a sense of overwhelming joy listening to it like the different sounds, I’ve always had trouble focusing, and comprehension can be troubling at times. I am very socially awkward and get uncomfortable in social settings, textures sometimes bother me, and I get irritated over it. these are just a few things but I’m really interested in getting this sought out. Any recommendations?

I have a very slight hand tremor when I am doing things like hand sewing or handwriting, I have had it my whole life and when I was a kid if I was stacking blocks or something it was super obvious. Now with hand sewing I can make it so you can’t tell I have it by the way I stabilise my hands. But some days it gets bad expecially if I am eating with a spoon or fork, the food will just fall right off. I can make it so that you don’t see the tremor but instead my hands just look very shaken and the food still falls, just a bit less. Some days it is not super viably shakey like when I am eating and stuff falls but instead my hands just become more “clumsy” and I type and hold my phone differently and I will drop things like a water bottle cap. Does anyone else have this? There’s no other diagnosis that I have and I don’t know anyone else who has a hand tremor. Is there anything you do that helps?

Okay so I see a lot of people with this dual diagnosis of autism and adhd on here who write it as AuDHD, and I have to say that I visually hate that there is one lower case and it makes less sense to me.

Before I knew about other people identifying with both, I would see it as ASDHD (ASD+ADHD) but I was just wondering why my way isn’t a thing commonly (or ever?) used?

(Small psa that I do not mean to be hateful if you prefer AuDHD, I am just expressing how I feel about those letters making me feel not good)

Hi I am 17 and I will fly alone soon with an airplane. I thought of wearing my sunflower lanyard but I am scared that they won’t let me board because they don’t think I am „responsible enough“ to fly alone in an airplane because I am autistic. I have a „Mild“ form of autism so I just maybe need some extra time and maybe some support.

do you think they want to see a medical report that I am „able to fly alone“ as an autistic person.

Or should I just not use my lanyard and try to mask (which I think I am going to go anyways)?

Not sure where to begin really. Does anyone else HATE being hugged/kissed/ and or cuddled? I fuxked up earlier today, bad kinda. So... I was trying to sleep and my bf knocked on my bedroom door as I was trying to sleep and I'm not sure if I let him in but either way, he laid down next to me which I wouldn't mind but then he started cuddling me and I just kept repeating get out, get out, get out, get out. Over and over again and then I went to vow him away from me and I accidentally elbowed his mouth and the back of his head hit the wall. I was looking the other direction so I didn't see where l was trying to push him away from. He then got all angry and hit my butt in a way that he was fisting me which made me angrier and then he hit me not really hard but I think with his phone twice on my head and I snapped and got up and used as much energy as I could to push him out of my room and I threw his phone out of my room too. I kept apologizing and I am upset for what I did but I couldn't help it. He knows I don't like being hugged what makes him think i would like being cuddled? He then said "you're full of shit, you cuddle me when you're drunk." And I told him "thays because I was heavily intoxicated and or high on Marijuana at the same time." He doesn't believe me. I think he thinks I am cheating on him or something. I'm in my bedroom 24/7 unless I have to go to work. Am I in the wrong here? My Psychiatrist also says I don't know how to regulate my emotions or relate to people which I don't know if I agree to that but whatever. I've had a few um dramatic experiences happen to me when I was a kid involving explicit activities and when I used to drink every single night like 5 years ago with my bf, he wouldn't let me leave his apartment without me giving him a hug and we used to fight like actual fist fight over it. If we got into arguments and I try to leave, he'd block the door so I can't leave which I guess would be the right thing since I was drunk or he could have just not kept trying to argue or fight and let us both calm down. Idk. Rocky shit? I guess. TL;DR I ended up snapping on my bf and I would like to know if I m in the wrong. Side note: I know violence is never the answer and I never hit anyone, ever, especially when sober and when I drink I normally sing and dance.

My wife was diagnosed with autism in July of last year, we are long distance, recently married and she is coming to visit in August, she has major issues with flying, the first time she came here I was already in the US so we flew together, she needed a heavy dose of prescribed xanax and even then felt awful. Second time she paid $2000 for premium economy but said other than the seat there was VERY LITTLE benefit!

Does anyone have any tips for flying with autism? We know she can request to board first or last but that doesn’t really help that much, she needs as big a seat as possible, ideally one that reclines so she can be comfy but we just can’t afford business class…