I’ve been slacking off quite a lot lately. I don’t like making excuses but I just want to note that I’ve struggled with depression and BPD. I lost my remote job because of my own fault and I’m wayyy behind in school assignments, this is just pure self-sabotage. This is my last semester in college before I get an internship, and I need advice on how to overcome this block that I’m going through.

Tl;dr: I dont have the drive nor impulse to do anything that will benefit me.

Any advice is greatly appreciated <3

Like they say that people use “neurodivergence as an excuse” and “it’s not hard to understand tone online”

Be so for real right now bro.

Question: How do you determine autistic support needs labels? Any thoughts would be appreciated, but I want to prioritize MSN/HSN people’s responses here.

Background/Context: When I was diagnosed as autistic it was as Level 1 and I assumed I would be considered LSN, but as I’m examining things further since being diagnosed I’m not sure if I have LSN or MSN.

I know the levels aren’t a one to one correlation with support needs, but I was given level 1 for a reason. I’m decent at masking, verbal, don’t deal with meltdowns, etc. In a lot of ways, I relate more to what I see from LSN people. But I have never been able to live independently, hold a job, get a degree, etc. I can’t form or maintain any kind of relationship without a built in structure. And I can’t do a good chunk of ADLs and IADLs properly or consistently without outside support and accommodations. Even with outside support and accommodations, I still am not able to manage taking care of myself properly in various aspects. Those limitations align more with what I’ve seen from MSN people.

Then everything gets complicated by the fact that I have co-occurring disabilities, including psychiatric disabilities that can be difficult to disentangle from my autism. I don’t know how much my support needs are really from my autism, and if that’s the case, do they count for my autistic support needs? The whole thing is confusing.

I wouldn’t worry about it so much except that I don’t want to claim MSN if there’s a risk I’m wrong and actually LSN because I don’t want to contribute to the harm faced by people with higher support needs.

Disclaimer: not asking people to tell me what degree of support needs I have; more looking to better understand how to differentiate them

What pronouns do you use on yourself in your internal monologue?

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Let me preface that I absolutely detest being touched by another human being, regardless if they are my family or close friends. The sensation is one of the many feelings I hate.

On the brightside, when someone manages to touch me without annoying me, boom, instant chemistry... and all turned into long-term relationships.... until they got sick of my shortcomings.

This is the third time, and I hope third time's a charm. I'm one year in...

So the conversation about oppositional defiance came up and we started talking about how we both experience it. The most common and simple example being like if someone asks you to do the dishes or a task right as you are about to do it or are in the process of doing it, or if it disrupts the schedule in your head, it just makes you not want to do it at all and your brain completely detaches from the idea and begins to avoid it like the plague.

We were conversating about how the second something begins to feel like an expectation, an obligation, it makes you not want to do it at all, especially if the expectation is on another persons terms and not your own.

Then it hit me. I always considered myself to have a relatively avoidant attatchment style considering I prioritize independence, I like being by myself over being with people, and there was always one really big thing that stood out and always immediately made me lose interest in someone I'm talking to. Once I put two and two together it struck me like a truck.

When I'm chasing after someone, I'm fine. When I start talking with them, I'm fine. But the SECOND communicating with them starts to feel like an expectation or an obligation, I shut down and detatch from them immediately.

When they start reciprocating feelings, that's when shit gets scary. They want to call, they want to facetime, they want to text, they want to come over, they want to go on dates. When THEY are requesting those things as I'm in the process of thinking about doing them, indulging in something to self soothe (hyperfixations/special interests), or doing something more important that requires me to focus, the oppositional defiance kicks in, and I start wanting to head in the other direction.

I've always been called avoidant over this, that I'm selfish, that I'm self-centered, but the second communication starts to feel like an expectation or obligation, something that I have to FORCE myself to do to appease the standards of my partner? My brain shuts it down completely and I'll start to do the complete opposite. I always wondered why this was something that happened with me, and my best friend experiences it too, and he isn't even avoidant, hes a naturally clingy person.

When it clicked for both of us in the middle of the conversation we just sat in silence for a moment and went "....oh-"

Just like- damn.

Why does this happen?

What are some chemical / biological causes?

Everything feels normal or what I'd expect normal to feel like. Less social anxiety, eye contact is not a problem, even light sensitivity is lessened.

I (24F) am in the process of figuring out if I am autistic. I have had severe anxiety since my earliest memories and dealt with anorexia from ages 15-22.

Autism was never considered or even brought up until a few months ago when my psychiatrist suggested it. After doing a lot of research and having a full identity crisis, I realized a lot of my childhood experiences where people just thought I was a weird/anxious kid, could actually be signs of autism that were missed. My parents are in full agreement with this new information yet I am experiencing a mix of confusion, fear, and denial.

I have very severe anxiety that has been medication resistant and I have been at a point of desperation in trying to find any relief. I have been in therapy weekly for six years and have tried over 15 medications. I am scared that Autism could possibly be the reason treatment hasn’t been effective for my chronic anxiety.

My psychiatrist said she is 60-70% sure I am autistic. She wants me to get an official evaluation and I am nervous about it. I have been in denial and questioning everything I have known about myself for the last 24 years.

What are benefits to receiving an official diagnosis? Did your life improve after getting clear answers? Or does anyone regret getting an evaluation? Has anyone here gone through the evaluation then been told you are not autistic?

This is very long so thank you if you made it this far!

ive always hated underwear even as a kid but obviously i now have to wear them due to periods

but the feeling of it rubbing against my bikini line makes me want to sob ik it's just my sensory issues but I can't do it anymore i need advice

Music really helps me! When i do work from home, i listen to music and it helps. And when i play video games i listen to music. It really helps my mood.

Somedays i can't listen to music, and i find myself being anxious and irritable.

Autistic person: is visibly struggling

Anyone: treats them like they are a fully competent adult and berates them for not being able to do a simple task

Autistic person: is thriving

Anyone: infantalises the Autistic person and tries to take control over what they're doing because they can't be trusted to do it themselves

Why does our autism disappear when we are struggling and only exist when we are thriving?

I'm autistic and have recently become online friends with someone who has ADHD. Since then, he asked me to help him in his work which involves writing papers/documents. I always scheduled helping him 1 hour earlier than the time I expect him to online so he could prepare just like what I do with my irl ADHD friends when we're hanging out.

He's usually 1.5–2 hours late because of his trouble with time management. No problem. However, whenever I tell him that I have to go, he just immediately logs off the online workspace without saying anything. Rinse and repeat everytime I help. His work remains untouched when I go offline.

I didn't mind at first (I was not the best in social norms either) but there were other behaviors that made me feel like I was being used since I have had experiences of being the "useful friend" of some NTs which burned me out.

I wanted to bring this up to him and told him that he could say goodbye so that I know that he knows I'm leaving, but he said he was not interested in any "interpersonal talk" because he's uncomfortable with it. I actually didn't understand how it was an interpersonal talk. This was a behavior that would always come up in every message I initiated trying to explain. From then, he goes: "Sorry, something personal came up. Let's talk later." I also planned to teach him how to do his work (since I was in a similar field) but it seems that he has no time to study it. So I do the (ghost)writing, proofreading, citations, while he does formatting and gives me instructions.

I understand this difficulty well. I was in the same position of taking way too long in studying and training for jobs because of my lack of common sense. But this friendship really burns me out and I want to help him because he is clearly suffering, probably much worse than me during my undergrad days.

It's just that my suspicions have really become worse due to my past experiences, and I wonder if it's made me think negatively of my friend, by thinking he's using me. I had to hide my online status for a month just to avoid him because even if I told him I had no time or that it would be better for me to teach him his work, he would always send me a message begging me to help him.

I know I have an issue of cutting off people by pretending to be offline when I get overwhelmed. I don't mean to ghost people, but my social battery just shuts down. I don't know how to fix this behavior of mine, and I know my capacity for overreacting.

Thank you for everyone who may give an advice! (I would also appreciate if anyone can recommend me certain research papers or articles that may help me make sense of it because I can digest these information more easily without my past experiences muddling my brain. I'm a researcher too, but not in psychology).

I was idly talking to myself about the nature of cats vs dogs and how they can relate to how we form relationships. I recall that the majority of us often prefer cats, for varying reasons. I guess I discovered why, exactly, I like that cats' affection has to be earned.

Cats' love is conditional. There are clear requirements to their affection that we can understand and adhere to. Give them food, respect their boundaries, cuddle occasionally, and they're okay. Dogs are relatively unconditional, and it's hard to find a reason as to why they give affection.

I think this may apply to how we percieve relationships. A relationship with clear boundaries and conditions is safe. I know how to maintain the relationship, what I need to do and not do to keep their affection, and that's that. "Unconditional" relationships are never truly unconditional, the conditions are just unclear. It's scary and unsettling. We spend time worrying that we might not be meeting the secret conditions.

We like rules. That's a well known fact. It seems the common comparison to cats may apply to our relationships, too.

Let me know if this is just a me thing and I'm just insane. I wanted to know if others could relate.

Probably when I land my ears hurt so bad. I am wondering if it’s common for other autistic people are nothing to do with it. I have a theory that people with sensory issues may struggle with this but I could be wrong.

It may have nothing to do with autism and SPD and more to do with sinuses.

One trait I have that I think is purely Autistic and not overlapping with anxiety or anything else is sound sensory because I feel it no matter the situation, in fact I can feel very happy, safe but it instantly gets under my skin hardcore and it's upsetting too like "i want to punch a wall" sort of upsetting lol

How do you deal with it though?

Like people smacking while they eat or chew gum (omg almost had a bad typo there), smacking, spoons hitting a bowl, texting/typing, talking too low, making other sounds when they eat like "mmmm" or what gets me is when they used to have paper around the straws, people would roll them up and constantly play with them.. holy fuck, why? It's okay if I do it of course, but not them xD It's just sooo many noises that get to me, it sucks.

Like I said, it'll get to me when I'm in a great mood, really upbeat, no real anxiety and it if it doesnt stop, it can get to a point where I get angry over it so I'm trying to find ways to cope so I stay positive.

I've realized that experimenting with hookup culture/dating apps might be beneficial for me, as I rarely have interest in relationships(but when i do i fall hard lol). The world of meeting people/dating apps/hooking up feels like such an alien world as im usually consumed by my interests, but I do feel as though to reach my goals i should 1. Meet more people and 2. Get more experience with the ugly stuff(getting rejected, rejecting, the list goes on) so i wanted to ask if anyone has any words of wisdom or motivation, like what has worked? Has the essence of hookup culture clashed with your autistic traits? Or has it been beneficial? Are there any dating apps that work better for you? Any to avoid?

And what the hell do you put on a dating profile besides an essay about every interest you have

Hello folks. Something I’ve been noticing and that maybe has to do with my autism is my weird relationship with pain. When I get hurt unexpectedly I often don’t notice (I’ve broken my foot as a child and only notice on the follow-up morning, when it swoled) but when is expected it hurts sooooo bad (examples: getting ‘burned’ while waxing, doing eybrows and mustache, self-harm).

Does anyone struggles with that? Does it has an explanation?

( I apologize for unusual speeling and grammar, English is not my first language)

I was at my brother’s house for thanksgiving, and I tried a bunch of new food. Chili, chicken stir fry, birria tacos, and smoked turkey with garlic season. Most of it was good. I didn’t like how my brother used a ton of garlic cloves.

i used to have a dinky cheap one on amazon, it was 15 pounds and pretty OK, but i have cats so beaded wieghted blankets are a big issues, wondering if anyone here can reccomend a nice one 😊 i am willing to splurge up to $100 USD

And since im sure people are gonna be confused, basically, the girl with the white streak of hair, Rogue, has an ability where she can absorbs peoples abilities or memories, as a result shes unable to form a physical relationship. While storm has Weather Manipulation.

This is too hard.

Im 28 and disposable to everyone.

I dont mean anything.

Guys date me and say all these lovely things and lovebomb me and speak about future and then just block me

I had one friend. He just randomly messaged me saying 'my new girlfriend doesnt want me speaking to you. Sorry. ' and blocked me too.

What the fuck

How is it so easy for people to do this to me

Do my feelings not matter

I dont want to do this anymore

Im now completely alone and i dont want to try again

Im worth nothing but a sentence and an easy goodbye

Mine are kind of interesting to think about when I wake up. The visuals are mostly (maybe about 65%) black and white with some colors as well. And the sound is non-existent; I feel what sounds would be playing if I could hear but I don't actually have the sensation of hearing. When people talk I just sorta receive the information telepathically. The actual content of the dreams tends to reflect whatever piece of media I am currently interested in. For example, I remember having a dream about the movie WALL-E when I was a kid since it was one of my favorite movies.

Hi, this is my first post here so if any of this is not allowed or against any rules i understand. I'm in the process of learning more about myself and why i do what i do, and I'm seeking an assessment for diagnosis through professional channels. I've been looking back at my childhood, and I was wondering if this is a common experience in general or common among people woth autism. I remember watching movies and asking a bunch of questions because I could never follow everything going on. I'd always get an answer of 'watch and find out,' but looking back there was always more to it than just wanting to know what was happening next. It was like I was the only one in my family who didn't understand, inherently, what was happening in the movie. I needed some sort of guidance for how to watch a show. Like I had to learn the point of watch TV. I'm also dealing with a lot of other mental health issues right now as well, so any suggestions for navigating things would be welcome.

hi guys, i have undiagnosed ADHD and autism, and recently i'm self-aware how i use phone and how i use internet and social media, i got two really distracting issues:

first one is impulsing acting while using any social media apps (save/bookmark post, subscribe or follow)

another one is the hunting feeling my devices need decluttering and organizing, the feeling so unpleasant i don't wanna use my laptop or phone functions, for example: "i wont be doing this and that on my phone, till I sort out my camera roll albums and delete something messy". thats like i need to categorize stuff on it for the peace of mind.

im getting FOMO (not really Missing, but Loosing instead) really often when i scroll tiktok or surfing explore page on instagram: whenever i see i kinda like i get THE URGE to neccessarily save it under the saved post section, or like so i'll not lose it for sure.

and the problem is that these are things i most likely will not even get back to, but it's like a hidden or subconscious voice within me that tells me to save it cause i will *need* it again or the chance might be that i'll recall it and it will be too late when the app is refreshed and image/post is gone too. the same impulsivity is like following some group or channel or anything for the sake of not loosing it forever.

and then consequently i have 1000 bookmarks on apps and this mess follows a hunting feeling of "okay i need to declutter it", like an intrusive thoughts that having it unorganised is like bad(?). sort of like it's a physical space and it's dirty and to use it properly i need to clean it, but i know that it doesnt really matter what's going in bookmarked posts or folders on my laptop but i still have the feeling and thoughts that i need to do it. the same is about my camera roll, albums, i always think how nice it'd feel if i had it all sorted out or cleaned up, to the point that i don't enjoy using social media or phone because i feel it.

maybe it's OCD but not quite, it's more how i shift and use my focus and attention to me, any personal experience on it or advice is greatly appreciated

I unfortunately drew the nameof a massive ass for Secret Santa. He is a high schooler thats let his manager title go to his head. He also has a history of making racist statements, calling people slow (mentally), making jokes about beating up homeless people, making fun of people struggling with addiction, and using the R word to describe one of our more quiet coworkers that he for whatever reason had something against. I'm planning on donating the max price limit to a charity in his name and giving him the receipt in a pretty decently sized box that'll be wrapped up all pretty. I was wondering what are some good charities that actually do good for autistics/other disabled communities? Like I know that a lot of main stream organizations that pop up on Google aren't that great and I want my spite to go twords something that actually helps. Please and thank you!

i 19F have been dating my girlfriend 20F for about 3 months but we have been friends for at least a year. we are long distance and almost all our conversations are over the phone. other than the concerns in my post she is an amazing girlfriend who is very supportive and caring and wants to be a good girlfriend to me and would do probably anything to be that. i know that nothing is off limits to bring up and i feel comfortable talking about it with her but i cant tell if i am just interpreting things wrong. my main issue is what seems to be a lack of interest in me and my activities and no desire in trying NOT to offend me i guess? she is autistic and i feel some of these things are just her being blunt and not realizing but sometimes i will tell her something im excited to share or say and she will say something like “im aware” and it will end there. or ill say things trying to gauge interest in a story i want to tell like “omg this is crazy” only because shes frequently distracted scrolling and she isn’t really listening usually unless she knows im talking but even then its hard for her to pay attention and i think its something she feels bad about and she acknowledges its a problem. our conversations can be really one sided like today she showed me her songs of the year over stream but wasnt even curious about mine and its not a huge deal but little things like that happen all the time. she forgets to ask me how my day was after i ask her and she just doesn’t seem as attentive and invested as i am in her. it comes somewhat naturally to me because i am just genuinely very interested in her but i pay attention to EVERYTHING she has to show me. i abandon my activities to pay attention to her which admittedly is my bad for betraying myself but she asks me if im paying attention so i feel the need to be! i love her very much but sometimes shes just too honest for my feelings i guess. she cannot tell a white lie and she has no desire too and i guess its hard for me because i do it for her like,, if she shows me a song and she shows me ALOT (never returns the favor listening to mine even if i send them) i will pretend its good even if i dont like it. i wont lie and say its my favorite song but ill take it objectively and highlight what i DID like leaving out any negativity unless absolutely necessary and it never is! but when she does finally react to my music she says its average or just skims over it. she really isn’t trying to hurt me she is just being totally honest and part of me loves that because then i know when she really means something but im extremely rejection sensitive and im holding back tears for little moments when shes blunt. this isnt really something i can bring up and have her fix because i cant ask her to lie to appease me and i think she would refuse the idea anyway. i know she loves me and cares and knows enough about me to know who i am and what i like we just aren’t the same kind of invested.

TL;DR:my girlfriend is autistic and brutally honest and im sensitive to rejection.

Mine are Bluey, Full house, Good luck Charlie, Too cute, Yu-Gi-Oh GX, Gakuen babysitters, little house on the prairie, Hazbin hotel and Helluva boss.