hey there, im just gonna start off by saying i have no clue if im even posting this in the right place. i NEVER use reddit and logged into an old account i didn’t even know i had linked to my email address… my fiancé (25M) and myself (24M) have been together since we were 20. we both met through a mutual friend when i moved to boston and it turned out we worked in the same hospital. we’re getting married in 3 months and the wedding is going to be quite large (200ish people). we are getting married in the city which was a must for me but we have no clue how to execute it. We want wedding parties on each side but we’re not sure how that would work, most of his friends are males and i have mostly female friends. is it traditional at gay weddings for one groom to have “groomsmaids” so to speak? i still plan on having a best man (my childhood best friend) but the rest of the wedding party would be females. we’re also not doing a church wedding/getting married roman-catholic which seems to upset his parents thoroughly but that’s just not something we’re willing to do. we’re getting married by my uncle, who is a pastor. i’ve started writing my vows and we’re deep into planning but im just so nervous and am looking for ideas on how to make the wedding as fun as possible. we’ve made the decision to have an 18+ guest list which i think will take some weight off of our shoulders considering some of our music and our friends aren’t exactly “child friendly”. Also, it’s extremely important to my fiancé that we do some sort of dance number in front of everyone which i am TOTALLY against but i don’t know how to tell him. (He should be happy he’s getting a slow dance out of me lol). We have our suits picked out and our matching gucci ties, but we’re unsure how to walk down the aisle as well. should our mothers walk us down? should one of us be standing there waiting for the other? i have so many questions and im starting to freak out because it’s inching closer. hoping the people of reddit can help me out with this one! would love to have your ideas, also open to hearing what you guys did at your weddings that could spark some new ideas.

My sister enlisted my help in finding the perfect outfit for her wedding this summer. On a continuum of feminine style gowns to masculine style suits- she’s looking for something in the middle, hoping for a suit or jumpsuit that’s still feminine. She is also see staunchly against anything flared or wide legged, and won’t wear heals. This is the inspiration she sent me. The top left and bottom right are what we’re going for. Any ideas on where to start, online shops? We live in Idaho (save me)- she’s in northern Idaho, so there aren’t a ton of places to browse in person, especially ones that offer non-traditional wedding attire. She visits me in Boise often but we’re still pretty limited with in person options. Not sure if her budget quite yet, but it’s not extravagant.

Hi all! I am marrying the love of my life in June 2025. We are both women, both mostly feminine presenting, both wanting to wear relatively affordable dresses.

Here is the problem:
My fiancee is very sensory sensitive and just generally doesn't like a lot of fuss. She really wants to wear a boho dress, something simple and flowy, maybe even cotton.

I want to wear something more traditionally formal- tulle, lace, embroidery, veil, the whole thing.

Our wedding is medium casual- in our church, not a beach, but very DIY, so both styles could work.

I am more than happy for us to have different vibes, since our styles do anyway, but I'm having a hard time if she wears something too casual in terms of material like a cotton dress from etsy. Will people think it's weird if the level of formality of our outfits is different? Will I seem like a tryhard or will she look underdressed?

It doesn't have anything to do with looking like we spent the same amount of money- I would love to get my dress on sale and am considering buying used. It's more that we won't look "matchy" enough.

I have something in mind about what I want to where to my wedding.

Not sure what color yet, but it is a nice wedding jacket (for a suit) the flows down to almost a gown at its base. I found a couple similar things online but none of it looks like it is great quality. Does anyone know where I would get something like that?

Or if anyone has any ideas on similar products that would be amazing.

Thanks for the help!

I'm a trans woman and I'm getting married in June. My bridesmaids are almost exclusively trans, and my extended family (all of whom are cis) is invited to my wedding, so I'd like to use my bachelorette party to do something satisfyingly queer without having to think about being intelligible to straight people.

I'm having a hard time thinking up something to do though. I feel like the archetypical examples for bachelorette parties that float around our culture are:

(1) male strip club - doesn't really fit for me, I'm a t4t only kinda gal

(2) spa day - this is appealing on a sensory level, but I feel like these spaces are deeply permeated by cishet norms in a way that would likely make me or at least some of my bridesmaids uncomfortable

(3) brunch / bar crawl - I'd certainly be down for either of these as components of my party but I would wanna make sure whatever venue(s) we go to would really be a slam dunk, otherwise I'm worried that it would feel too mundane for the occasion

So yeah I feel kind of stuck. Would y'all help me brainstorm some interesting, memorable, and satisfyingly queer bachelorette party ideas? I'd really appreciate it!

btw I'm leaning towards Chicago for the location since most of my friends are around there, but I could be convinced to go somewhere else.

My Fiancé (50) (Ordained minister) and I (27) had recently become engaged and we’re starting to plan our wedding as of now our date is 3-9-26 and plan to save up $5000 for everything . The main problem is finding a LGBT friendly Pastor that will be comfortable with marrying us, and is there any wedding planning advice that y’all could give us? We would definitely appreciate it. Thanks 😊

Tl;dr --

My family loves me and my soon-to-be wife and has told me that they can't wait to celebrate us. Her family is furious because this is her second wedding (previously married to a dude). Her family makes me want to just elope but I also feel like if all of my siblings and cousins got to have beautiful weddings with the whole family, why shouldn't I?

The full story (it's a long one and I kind of just need to vent) --

My fiancée (34f) and I (28f) got engaged over the weekend after 3 years of dating. My family loves her and my nieces (6 and 3) were over the moon when we told them their aunties were getting married. My extended family was initially a bit hesitant around us when I first started bringing her around as I didn't fully come out to them until I was in this serious relationship -- my siblings and the cousins around my age that I grew up with certainly knew that I was a lesbian, but I come from a traditional Italian family and was worried my aunts and uncles would take an issue with me being gay with our Catholic background. It took a bit of time, but they all love my fiancée now. So much so that at a cousin's wedding recently, my aunt and uncle came up to her and told her that they really "can't wait until we get to do this for you guys." It makes me so happy I could tear up. I genuinely never thought I would have this kind of support from my family and I know a lot of queer people never get that.

However, our experience with my fiancée's family was less than ideal. We got engaged on a trip and when she sent a photo to her family group chat, her sister said "glad you could go on vacation instead of coming to your niece's soccer game" and her mom called and was furious about "not wanting to do this again" and "you do what you want, but you're being really inconsiderate." No congrats, no nothing, just complete anger. You would think we were on a crime spree with how they reacted. The background with her family is complex -- her parents and sister are all extremely conservative Trumpers.... but her sister is literally gay and married with 3 kids.... don't ask me how that works I will never understand. They all certainly hold resentment against us for being liberal, but that isn't the big reason why they dislike this situation. From what I understand, and this was long before I was around their family, future MIL was awful about my future SIL being gay. She's very masculine, and pretty much exclusively wears men's clothes and I knew their mom had a big problem with that. My fiancée has basically said that her sister and mom argued nonstop and were constantly at each other's throats about how she dressed and acted until her sister married her wife who had 2 kids already and those kids started treating her mom like a grandma (she finally got the grandkids she wanted).

My fiancée saw the way her family treated her sister and that, among other things, led her to suppress her queerness. She had two closeted relationships with women who are now also married to men and never came out, so that also informed her suppression, but yeah. Basically, she had those closeted relationships in college, was pretty traumatized and then just didn't date for years. And then she realized she was entering her late 20s and hadn't really dated. Long story short, she ends up dating a guy and getting married (we think this guy is probably gay too but can't face it...). When they got engaged my future MIL was THRILLED beyond belief. She has very expensive taste and planned their entire wedding — upwards of $50k. From what I've been told MIL lived completely vicariously through this big, boujee wedding. Obviously, this marriage did not work out lol. They didn't even make it 18 months before my wife couldn't handle it anymore and had to face that she was queer.

I understand that her family feels hurt because they poured thousands upon thousands into a wedding that ended up meaning nothing. I understand that they felt lied to (which is very unfair to my wife but that's how they feel and I want to hear them out). Believe me, I understand that when a divorce happens, it's hard on the whole family. My sister went through a really, really rough divorce with a 1-year-old kid and an alcoholic husband. My parents were crushed, and even though my mom was glad to see my sister safe, she still had a hard time when my sister started dating her new husband because it just wasn't what she previously had in mind for her granddaughter's life. I figured that my fiancee's family would have big feelings about this, but damn, is it putting a damper on what should be the most exciting time of my entire life.

All of this makes me just want to run away and elope in the mountains somewhere with our dog and a rando Craigslist officiant, but I know I would regret not having my family there -- we're a tight-knit group of East Coast Italian-Americans and it feels wrong doing this without them. I want my family and my friends there to celebrate because they love us and because if straight people get to have big weddings all the time, why shouldn't we?!?!!! Yeah, it's her second, but it's my first!! Do you know how many straight dudes get divorced and then marry a girl who has never been married before and they still have a big wedding because IT'S HER FIRST???? It's pretty damn common!!!!!!

I think we both kind of wish we could just do what we want and only invite my family and our friends if her family is going to be this miserable about it... but that would most likely involve going no-contact with how angry they would get over that and I don't think she wants that. Which I get. It's so hard when family is not supportive but you still want to try to salvage some level of relationship with them. Also, her sister has 2 daughters and now a son who we adore. I think if it were just adults involved we would likely go no-contact, but with these kids involved, that's just not an option. We love the kids and want them to be a part of our lives and our wedding day and none of this is their fault.

So yeah, sorry for the many, many paragraphs. I just had to write this all out. I genuinely have no idea what to do. I hate feeling completely invisible to my future in-laws. All they care about is how THEY feel wronged, not about how much happier my wife is or how we want to grow our own family or ANYTHING. It's all about them. I just want to ask other queer people what they would do in this situation. Because I literally have no clue. I'm at a loss. Truly, I have no idea and I'm so sad about how this has played out.

Thanks for listening.

I’m getting married next year, and I have some extended family members who are pretty conservative, but also not very outspoken about it amongst family. My partner and I are queer and I’m trans, and I’m not entirely sure how everyone in my extended family feels about my transition or about us getting married. They’re also the type of people who don’t really like to have any difficult conversations, so idk if they would say anything upfront about not being supportive.

I want all the guests at our wedding to be there enthusiastically and in full support of me and my partner. I’m torn, because my extended family hasn’t said anything to my face (or behind my back that I’m aware of) to indicate that they don’t support us. It’s just a suspicion I have based on politics/religious practices.

I’d like to extend everyone the chance to attend, with a big caveat saying “don’t come just because you feel like you have to because we’re related. Only come if you’re here in enthusiastic support”. Any idea how to do this in a delicate way that doesn’t feel insulting to my family?

I’ve never stayed at an all-inclusive before, so I feel a bit in the dark when it comes to choosing a wedding venue. My partner and I are planning to get married in May 2025 and have been working with a destination expert who has been very kind and helpful. She has directed us to a few resorts and we have narrowed it down to two that fit within our families’ budgets: Sandos Playacar in Mexico and Dreams Macau in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic.

We’re looking to accommodate our families, including some children, who have tighter budgets but still want to choose the best venue for our ceremony. A few concerns I have include potential onlookers or people crashing the ceremony, staying at a property that feels too dated, and the quality of the food being subpar. I understand there’s a balance between budget and quality, but we’re hoping to find a happy medium.

Does anyone have any input or experience with either of these resorts?

My family isn't actively aggressive about my identity, but it's rarely discussed and never in a neutral or positive light. I'm frequently labeled a "drama queen" for even trying to stand up for myself, and I've now also been labeled "mean" and "problematic" for not wanting to invite my very phobic uncle (last wedding with drinks, he was slurring at my aunt for being part of lgbtq+, she knocked him on his ass, but still). I feel like I'm going to need to hire bouncers, but I just don't have that kind of money. I'm starting to wonder if I should just pretend I'm back in the closet and wearing a dress even if I want nothing to do with femininity that day. I just wish weddings could actually be accepted as a party for the couple, not the party goers.

Hi all. I'm marrying my gf in December and I'm going to be the only person giving a speech (both my parents have passed away, her parents are VERY socially anxious/shy and do not want to give a speech and we have no best man/woman or bridesmaids.)

I'm going to thank the various friends who we've roped in to help, I'm going to refer to my parents as well as any other people who cannot be there with us, but beyond that I'm a bit stuck.

Should I talk about how we met? Our relationship? Most of our friends and family already know how we met. Do I need to wax lyrical about her specifically? I don't want to risk sounding like the father of the bride 'isn't she wonderful...?'

I'm really stumped, and I know that I could talk about anything but having such a blank canvas is proving frustrating.

Can anyone relate or let me know what was/will be said at their wedding?

Hi there! I’m planning a rainbow wedding for next year and I’m on the search for rainbow metallic heels. Something along the lines of this photo but the problem is I have size 11 feet and can’t seem to find many options. Maybe you know just the site to find some! Flood me with your rainbow pumps! Tia

I am incredibly frustrated and I don't know if I'm being unreasonable and need to chill out or if I'm justified feeling this way. I'm posting this in a couple subs looking for any/all opinions. Even though it's not a LGBTQ-related issue, we are at lesbian couple so I figured I'd look for some thoughts here too

I can be a little wordy so I tried to cut this down as short as possible while still providing all the relevant points, so I apologize if this ends up being long. (spoiler alert: it does)

The Extra Short Story: I was expecting to get in touch with our photographer at least two weeks ago and it hasn't happened yet.

The Extra Long Story & Context:

My photographer is like... literally impossible to get in touch with and it's driving me bananas. I reached out to her back in the beginning of April and she emailed me back almost right away. In fact, she called me three days after I sent my request through the website to see if her email reply got stuck in my junk box since I didn't get back to her yet. We had some back and forth about hours and pricing, sometimes emailing twice a day, and our contract was signed within the week after a great phone call with both of us. We worked out a payment plan- 1/3 due up front, 1/3 due 120 days before the event , and 1/3 due 60 days before the event. We were able to pay a fair bit extra on the second payment. About two weeks later we realized that we had enough saved to finish paying, so I went to the webpage to make the last payment. The amount due was wrong (it still said we owed the last third, not 1/3 minus the extra paid on the second payment), so I reached out to make sure there were no issues. We got a response two days later saying the amount owed had been updated so we made our final payment. I replied to their email letting them know I've made the final payment and to let me know if there were any issues on their end. She emailed back the next morning to say she got our payment, and would we like to set up a call next week to go over our timeline for the day of the event? We emailed back immediately with some suggested times.

and then we never heard from her again.

Well, no, that's a little bit of a lie but I haven't gotten to that part of the story yet. After the week went by, I sent another email asking if they wanted to get in touch "this" week. No answer. By this time we are at the end of July, and I'm kind of annoyed. Our wedding wasn't until the middle of September so I knew it wasn't URGENT but at the same time they asked me to talk. I wouldn't have cared if they just spent the 3 minutes to reply back to me just to say we'll touch base at the end of August (or if they'd just said nothing at all) but their lack of responsiveness was making me really worried and felt out of character given our previous interactions.

Throughout August I made two phone calls and left voicemails each time, and my fiancee even tried to call once and left a voicemail then too. I had managed to go full-circle emotionally from constantly refreshing my emails for hours each day to "idgaf anymore as long as I get my money back".

On September 1 we got one of those automated emails saying that we're two weeks away from our date, set up a time for a last run-through call. We did, and we finally got to talk to her. I wanted to bring up the TOTAL LACK of communication but I figured that at this point it was water under the bridge. Besides, we had so many questions that there wasn't time to complain if I even really wanted to. We weren't able to finalize a timeline for the day until we talked to her first, and the close friends and family were getting antsy for some info.

After our phone call, it took her about a week to get back to us with a proposed timeline of the day. To be fair to her, she asked a question that it took me two days to get back to her with an answer, but she texted me the information at 730 Friday night. The wedding was Sunday. Additionally, she mentioned that given the timeline, we wouldn't be able to have everything we were hoping for on video so a) what were we willing to cut out? or b) did we want to purchase extra time? I told her we'd probably go the extra time route (but I needed to check with my fiancee) and we got an email the next day with the additional contract. However, given that it was LITERALLY THE DAY BEFORE the wedding my fiancee and I decided that we were low on cash and wouldn't be able to pay for an additional two hours of video upfront. We could either discuss payment plan options or we'd cut something out. I emailed that response around 10am. She finally replied at 8pm but since, you know, it was the day before my wedding I was a little busy until later and just replied via text that night. We ended up working out a game plan for the next day that we were all happy with.

The day of? She was amazing. She, the videographer, and their assistant were such a well-oiled machine and incredibly easy to work with. Their assistant was an absolute angel, keeping us on track, helping my wife with her dress and veil, keeping an eye out on things. The photographer and videographer were a perfect team. Their synergy was truly a masterpiece, and beyond that, they were just really great people. Like, would love to hang out with them sometime great people. Afterwards. our guests RAVED at how much they loved her, just about everyone independently approached either my wife or myself to compliment her.

As she was getting ready to leave, we hugged, said thanks, and I apologized that I hadn't yet signed the contract for the extra video time. She told me just to get it done when I can, asked if we were both off the whole week and when we said yes she mentioned that she'd be in touch for a sit down. Now, Dear Reader, I understand that you may be thinking, "well that's ambitious and very unlikely" and normally I'd agree with you. BUT. The photo package we chose is that instead of editing all the pictures, we meet after the event and hand-pick only the ones we want done. The contract states that this sit-down will be done two weeks after the event or ASAP. That Wednesday we were able to pay for the additional video time (thanks to a generous gift from the parents) and we sent an email to update them that everything had been paid and to thank them for the incredible job they did over the weekend. Thursday afternoon they emailed back to say they received it and that we should set up a time for the sit down. I immediately replied with some times that work best for us but was pretty clear we could make anything work if our suggestions didn't work for them. No response. 11 days went by and on October 1 I sent another email asking if they had anything on10/8 specifically, and still no response.

I got married a month ago. More than 4 weeks have gone by without hearing from them at this point and I am really annoyed. We haven't sent out thank-yous yet because we were hoping to include a specific picture with the thank you note and I'm starting to really feel like an asshole. The contract states that we should have met with them within two weeks (or ASAP, whatever that means in contract terms) and I can't even get in touch with them to get a date set. I know it's a silly reaction but I'm feeling almost... hurt?... by how hard they are to talk to. If I was going to rate them solely on the actual interactions we've had, no exaggeration I'd give them a 12/10 and preach to everyone I know how great they are. I was planning on leaving a really nice review after our sit down and I wasn't even going to mention the lack of communication over the summer (by the end my wife and I just kind of figured that since we met our financial obligations with them we weren't tagging super high on the priority list). But at this point though, I don't know if I really even want to leave a review.

Please someone, tell me to chill out or something. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DAx3owJub--/?igsh=aTM2MnJjM2c2eWI=

My fiance and I are beginning planning for a Fall 2026 wedding and are curious for some LGBTQ wedding planners / coorindates (from full service to day of coordinators etc.) we are open to working and paying for full support but also are fully capable of reaching out to vendors and curating things too.

Any and all recommendations would be greatly appreciated - thinking from Hudson Valley to Long Island Vineyards to similar feel in north Jersey.

Hi all! I’m a lesbian and a graduate research student at the University of Oxford. For my graduate thesis, I’m researching how lesbians, queer women and other sapphic people interact with and express gender in context of the wedding ritual

I would love to talk to lesbians, queer women or sapphic-identifying people based in the United States and over the age of 18 who have previously created a wedding Pinterest board or would like to make one.

If you are interested in contributing to the small canon of lesbian academic research, please do send me a message! I'd love to hear from you and see your Pinterest boards :))

We've been together for 8 years now and we always talked about getting married. I literally crossed her path my whole life till I was 15 (we lived in the same country), I ended up moving to another country with my parents at 15 and literally found her here 9 years ago, only to find out she was living 30km (20miles) away from me.

I immediatly fell in love with her the moment I saw her and I can't imagine a life with her by my side. I'm not afraid of getting married or proposing to her, I just feel like I'm putting too much pressure on myself to propose to her in a perfect manner.

I proposed to my girlfriend a few weeks ago and it was great :) we’ve both had rings for each other for a while now. So I know (?) she’s going to do something to “propose” to me at some point in the near future, I just don’t know what/when.

Does anyone have stories of proposing to your SO in order to exchange a ring after they already proposed to you? I’d love to hear those stories :) How did you make it special? Were you still able to surprise them?

www.instagram.com/fisioterapablo

I am starting to look into what to wear for my wedding, and am struggling to even know where to start—especially because I'm a fat person currently experimenting with my gender expression/identity. I *might* end up wanting to wear a dress, but it's feeling less and less likely as time goes on. At the moment, I'd say that my style is best described as chapstick lesbian—I like a more androgynous/slightly masc leaning look with a few more femme elements sprinkled in here and there.

I know that the obvious answers are a suit/tux or jumpsuit, but I'm having a hard time finding bodies that are representative of mine modeling them, and frankly, a million images of ultra-thin people in suits does nothing to help me picture what options might work for me.

I am fat and very busty*, and the suits that look ultra chic on thinner people tend to make me look like a frumpy middle manager from Duluth (no offense meant to middle managers or folks from Duluth—it's just not the vibe I want). Maybe I need to try different suits, which I'm open to, but cautiously, as it's been a less-than-pleasant experience in the past (see note below).

I think what I need in order to really get started are inspiration photos from non-straight sized queer folks to even see what my options are outside of the standard suits, jumpsuits, or dresses. I've been looking for such inspo, but have been coming up short. This roundup has been the closest to being helpful, but again—mostly thin folks. I like the idea of some kind of separate—maybe a nice trouser with a slightly more femme leaning top of some sort? But I'm not fashion-forward enough to really put together potential outfits without reference material.

Apologies for the long, rambling post, but I'm trying to get as much relevant information as possible. Any and all suggestions are very welcome and greatly appreciated.

*Binders make next to no difference for me, and my bust is a huge source of insecurity/body dysmorphia/gender dysphoria for me, so I kindly request you to just trust me when I say that my bust causes issues and makes clothing not look as *gendery* on me as I want it to.

Hi newly- and nearly-weds! My fiancee and I are Black lesbians, and we're hoping to nail down a location for our joint bachelorette party in the next couple of weeks. We're hoping to plan the trip for June or July. Right now, we're between Miami and Nashville, though we're open to places that have the following criteria:

1. Hospitable to Black lesbians! aka doesn't have a reputation for being racist or homophobic
2. A city near the East coast with a strong sense of identity + pride that make it memorable to visitors
3. Beautiful views or really solid attractions
4. Good food
5. Somewhat affordable (can find a drink for less than $20 and an entree less than $30 at most places)
6. A group of 10ish people will be able to have a good time without sticking out too much
7. Not NYC, DC, Philly, Atlanta, or anywhere in the Carolinas as we've spent a lot of time there and want to go somewhere new

If you were to decide between these two cities, what would you do? Or, what is another option you might recommend? Savannah + Memphis have also been on our list.

Thanks in advance!

The couple who chose it told me they chose it exactly because both songs are kinda morbid

So i'm newly engaged to my partner and we are planning for a fall 2026 wedding. I'm so excited and have been looking into venues in both our home of Boston and our hometowns near Burlington VT. As queer people, and self-proclaimed emo's, we don't like the super white tradition venues or the farm/golf club direction. I'm looking for some non-traditional/alternative venues that have a big enough occupancy for upwards of 125 people.