I am SO tired of people telling us how we need to plan our wedding and constantly being told we’re doing it wrong.

I know this is inevitable to an extent, but my fiancé’s family especially has been absolutely nonstop and relentless. We’re finally under a year to go and it’s just…a lot.

Just snippets of conversation lately:

FSIL: “I don’t see a registry on your site” Me: “We haven’t made it yet, we’re doing a honeymoon/house fund since we’ve lived together for 3 years and don’t want things we won’t use.” FSIL: “No you need to make a registry with actual items on it for people. You need things like a fancy coffee maker (we just replaced our keurig and I’m the only one who uses it), a carpet cleaner (we have ONE 5x7 area rug), a ninja creami (I’d rather just buy ice cream than wait 2 days to eat it)…”

FBIL: “I don’t understand why you’re getting married in Pittsburgh. It’s SO inconvenient to everyone” Me: “It’s a special place to us. It’s only a 3 hour drive and we have an entire weekend planned for everyone. I’m tired of the local venues because it’s always the same 15 places here. It’s not a destination wedding in Europe that’s going to cost everyone $9,000 to attend.” (This same FBIL just attended a wedding on the other side of the country, in a state he hates traveling to, that he wasn’t even in the wedding party, and hasn’t spoken to the groom in 10 years.)

We’re getting married in the fall, and we’ve chosen very fall colors (rust, emerald, burgundy…) FSIL: “what are your colors going to be?” Me: explains FSIL Friend RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME: “Oh yikes. Good luck shopping for dresses FSIL name NONE of those go with your skin tone 😬”

I’ve always been very respectful, calm, cool and collected in my responses to their ignorant comments, but a lot of conversations aren’t even including me (THE EFFING BRIDE) anymore. They just act like I don’t exist and solely speak to my fiance. I’m actually going back to therapy next week partially due to comments like these. Why can’t people just keep quiet? If you don’t like it, then don’t come. Please tell me I’m not being irrational in being hurt by this kind of stuff, or that I’m not alone in the nonstop bashing of what’s supposed to be our happiest day.

I was maid of honor for my friend’s wedding. I bought my dress and paid for hair/makeup. Also, spent some on bridal shower and bridal shower just. For wedding, they didn’t have a registry. I was also short on money. So I got them an engraved cutting board with their names and also a Christmas ornament that had their names and said 1sr Christmas together married. She said thank you but it seemed like it was a cheap gift…. Was it a bad idea?

Hi everyone— I know I’m not unique in this situation but no one I know personally has dealt with this and could use some advice.

Long story short— what have people done regarding contribution for a wedding when one family has drastically different means than the other? I’m talking, the ability to contribute 5-10% of what the other family can. Do you match with what the lower end of the budget can? What’s the etiquette? How do you handle conversations without embarrassing anyone, making anyone feel less than, or feel taken advantage of? I feel at a loss— any advice would be helpful. Thank you.

Hi all! We're getting married November 1st 2025 and are deep in the planning process.

So far we've booked our venue(ceremony and reception), caterer, bartender, DJ, Photographer & Videographer as well as, asked our bridal party to be apart of the day.

My bridesmaids have bought or chosen their dresses and we've ordered all bouquets for bridesmaids, and bride as well as the boutonnières for all of the groomsmen and the groom. Flower girl dresses have been ordered and received.

I've already arranged for somebody to come do the bride and bridesmaids hair and I plan on doing my own makeup (Any foundation, primer, concealer, color corrector, setting spray recommendations for oily skin would be incredible)

We've ordered dinnerware (plates for dinner, smaller plates for desserts, napkins, silverware, cups). I'm planning on ordering more plates and cups for cocktail hour and cups for drinks at the bar at some point.

I've ordered save the dates to go out after the holidays and plan on sending invites out somewhere between the 6-4 month mark before the wedding.

What am I missing!?! Or what are something you'd recommend we add/do!?

Thanks!

Hi all - seeking advice for what I (29F) and my fiance (29M), Joseph, should do about my parent's expectations for our wedding. My fiance and I are writing in together. A little background - my fiance is the kindest person ever and since he proposed three weeks ago, I have been beyond excited to be committing to the rest of our lives together. He makes me laugh every single day and we are a team 100% in life and in this issue as well. Throw away because neither of us are huge redditors but we have come because we need advice. To the issue! Since getting engaged, my parents (mom in particular) have basically stated that they want to pay for the vast majority of our wedding. Both Joseph and I agreed that since it is our wedding, we will be contributing as much as we can when the time comes but we do not have a date or a venue so we figured how much our contribution is would be defined when needed. My mom initially stated that because she is paying for the wedding, she expected that we would extend an invitation to some of her friends. Joseph and I discussed and agreed that we wanted to keep our wedding to a reasonable size even though I come from a large family. We made a rough list and it was about 140 people, of that around 80 are family members, 60 of which are our friends/collegues. We agreed to tell her she could send over a list of around 10-15 people that she would like to include. On thanksgiving she sat us down and gave us her list. It included 8 additional family members that I had not planned on including (which I was perfectly fine adding) but it also included 42 of her and my dad's friends. This is the problem. Me, Joseph, and both of my parents sat at the table and argued for hours and after all that back and forth, they were only able to cut 6 people off their list. By the end of the conversation, they both strongly stated they were not able to cut anyone else from their list (now at 36) and were not going to accept sending out invitations in waves (like an A list and a B list) so our only options are invite all 36 of their friends and get basically whatever wedding we want paid for or we do not invite any of their friends at all and in this scenario, it appears they will not be willing to contribute financially. Of the 36 friends, I have a close relationship with about 8 of them and those 8 Joseph has met either 1 or 2 times. The remainder have never met Joseph and I know them in passing but don't hold any significant relationship with these friends. They all seem like nice enough people. Joseph and I acknowledge that it is their money and they don't have to pay anything, and we do feel like they're holding their financial support against us to get a big party for themselves. We would both individually be inviting fewer friends than on their list, which just isn't what we want because we really wanted the focus of our wedding to be on us, and not my parents. Additionally, we aren't in a financial place to be able to afford the same kind of wedding that my parents would be able to give us so we are at a stalemate. Please, someone tell us what to do!! If we're being spoiled, tell us. If this is reasonable to not want our wedding to be so many of my parent's friends, please help us move forward! Thank you.

I wear size 2 in kids shoes(I'm in my mid-twenties) and I'm getting married soon and I want to surprise my fiancé by wearing Pleasers (yes the clear str!pper shoes) bc he(and I) love them! Does anyone know where to get Custom made shoes for small footed women/people?? Thank you(:

or any shoe cobblers in Sacramento/Chico area??

Thank you(:

Hey! My fiancee and I are planning to do a private elopement wedding ceremony. We are hoping to book an affordable all inclusive resort with mountains and/or water to be married by. It would be a private ceremony on just the two of us, no family. I was hoping to see if anyone had any suggestions on resorts to look into! Thanks in advance!

So, this is what I’m currently looking at for RSVPs of my 2/28 wedding. More than a little discouraging. On the invitations, we listed a deadline of 12/15, but would it be OK for me to start following up with people now? I’m trying not to let my anxiety get the best of me here but i’m not feeling great about how many people are leaving RSVPs to the last possible second.

So.. my brother is getting married, yay! They started out with a wedding planner who promised them the world, then ghosted them TWICE, before moving on to someone realistic. What they want: a very small wedding, up/on an Austrian skiing mountain, in February (uk half term or the week after), which is catered as fully vegan. New wedding planner has said up a mountain and fully vegan in peak season is a no go (a lot of caterers would decline considering the peak season and difficulties in getting the vegan food up the mountain). I have suggested maybe bottom of a mountain, somewhere like the edge of Lake Zell, but maybe a hotel/venue which is able to cater to vegans on site, rather than needing an external company at that time of year. Got to be close to a ski slope, with a pretty snowy view for the venue, and not too off the beaten track that we’d have to stay miles away from them during the holiday.

Does anyone have any recommendations or suggestions of where they can look? Look for hotels or wedding venues in the right kind of dreamy/snowy landscape area, or catering companies which would do vegan wedding food, or a hotel type place that could do both. I’m aware they’ve hired a wedding planner, but I’m hoping to gather a few suggestions to cheer them up as they’ve been let down a lot thus far.

TIA x

Me and my fiancé are broke and trying to have a wedding for 10,000$ total and I am looking for a inexpensive wedding planner in Chico California area, if anyone knows anyone please let me know Thank you!(:

Ps. The wedding will either be august 3rd 2025 (or if we don’t have the money yet June 6th 2026, Thanks again!!(:

Hey everyone! As the title reads, we eloped in January for personal reasons, but have kept it a secret for everyone, family & friends, only our few witnesses know😅 Here comes the big question, we’re having our wedding next year and have no clue how to announce to people on the day that we already eloped. We wanna do it after the ceremony 🤍 Any ideas? Thank you in advance!

I redecorated my powder room and fell in love with a frame to complete the look. Started searching for some non-person picture, maybe a royalty free print I could use, probably floral.

Then I remembered the detail shots our photographer had taken of my daughter’s bouquet and some of the table decor at the wedding two years ago. Her flowers were very colorful, a bit rustic.

I chose one of the bouquet staged on a table with some memorabilia and had it printed as an 11x14”. It works PERFECTLY. The result was a beautiful print, the colors are ideal, and I love the sentimentality of it. Every time I enter that room, it makes me smile.

We have traditional wedding photos elsewhere in my house, of course. But it’s heartwarming using this symbol of their relationship as a decor piece. Far better than something I’d find at a home goods store.

Hello!

I am looking to gather some ideas for our welcome party for our wedding. We are getting married in Fall 2026 in Chicago and having a micro wedding. We most likely won’t be doing a formal rehearsal either. Non of our family is from Chicago and are looking for something fun and unique.

We are trying to stay away from classic dinner/drinks, as that is what our wedding reception will be (cocktail hour plus formal sit down dinner). But obviously open to some food and drinks incorporated but not wanting it to be the central focus.There will be roughly 25 people

I’ve thought of a river cruise (we are in Chicago) potential for a sporting event (hockey most likely and could rent a box), pin stripes (not my favorite but like the idea of this), etc.

Would love to hear any and all ideas!

I’m fed up of my best friend acting weird whenever the topic of my wedding/fiancé comes up. I try not to mention it to her much - because I am trying to be empathetic and understanding her point of view. Afterall, we did go on vacations and do a lot together and now with the addition of my fiancé, our friendship is going to look different. She has had terrible dating history and bad experiences with men, and I hope she finds someone amazing so she can be happy and stop hyper fixating on my relationship.

It’s hurtful and I wish she was happy and excited for me. She’s made a few inappropriate comments and gotten upset at me for not sharing every single detail about our relationship. But when I do mention it, even in the slightest, she goes completely quiet especially when the topic of the wedding/my relationship comes up. I try not to mention it at all because I can sense she doesn’t like it (lol), but even if I say anything remotely related to it, she reacts like that. I’m honestly questioning 15 years of friendship. She admitted she felt feelings of jealousy when another close friend got married before her as well, so I can’t help but think she feels similarly with me.

Has anyone else experienced this? I don’t know how to deal with it and it’s driving me crazy. On one hand I’m trying to be understanding because she may be grieving our friendship and feeling FOMO, and on the other I’m hurt because I would be so happy for her if I was in her shoes, even if I was single. I’ve been through so much over the last 10 years, so life hasn’t been easy for me either. Ive been single all my life while she has gone on 100+ dates in the last 4 years alone. I never had an issue with that? I’m blessed that I found someone amazing and I haven’t been this happy in years, why can’t she be happy for me?

Inspired by a recent post about registry items… I am really not used to asking for stuff 😅 any guidelines about registry etiquette? Should we get a variety of items expecting only some to get purchased? Should we have a total budget in mind? 🤔 My family is struggling financially and comes from a country where the average income is about half of the average in the US, my fiance’s family is wealthy and from the US, so I feel like we come from very different places when we envision this registry… any benchmark would be super helpful.

I always thought it was customary to send out invites one year in advance but I keep hearing conflicting things and I am confused.

How much time in advance do you send out standard wedding invites?

What about destination weddings?

EDIT: we are having a destination wedding so we are mostly concerned about this

Hi all!

I'm newly engaged and after scouring the internet for destinations I am hooked on the idea of a destination wedding in St. Lucia. Does anyone have a travel agent recommendation?

Hello Groom here,

My mums from Scotland but I have grown up in Australia my entire life (where my Dad is also from). I am getting married next year and I am in the process of arranging my suit.

I know my mum wants me to wear a kilt to show my Scottish heritage. I have a fair few family members coming from Scotland who would all be wearing kilts.

I have only worn a kilt twice in my life (last time being in 2008) and I would prefer to wear a tuxedo as I like the look of them and know I would feel more comfortable/confident on the day.

Is there ways that I can represent my mum and her family culture? I know she is very excited about both the wedding and getting to have her side of the family over.

We are having some bagpipers play at the conclusion of the ceremony. I was also thinking of having some homage as a part of my suit perhaps a Scottish thistle boutonnière, some tartan cuff links or something on that thought. My suit I am planning to be a black tuxedo. I have tried to google ideas but I feel there is a fine line between nice homage and overwhelming for someone who is not very out there style wise.

Hey everyone, so I'm doing my wedding on a budget, and clearly, i don't have a wedding planner. My ceremony and reception takes place in the same place (walking distance) but not in the same room. The ceremony is going to be outdoors in a really nice secluded parking area from the reception, now my question is once the ceremony is over typically the bride and groom do their exit and get in their car to the reception but...what should we do? Should I have my MC tell people to move to the reception area, or should I take pictures or what?? I'm confused plz help 🥲

Edit: i appreciate everyone's input. I do have food and drinks for my guests, but I just don't know how to get the guest from the ceremony to the reception.

Hello - Future Groom here! UK Wedding.

Have a group of 8 close friends, including me.

Having 2 of them i have known longest as best men.

I don't want to single any of the others out as ushers (and don't think i can have them all as entire wedding is only ~70 people!), but would maybe like us all to wear the same style suit.

Perhaps me and the best men in tails, others not in tails?.

But not sure how best to ask the other 5 of them, as there wont be any formal 'roles' involved.

Similarly, if me and the best men would be in Navy - would it be odd to ask the rest of the 5 friends to wear their own navy suit (i think they all have) and i can supply the same tie, waistcoat etc? Would then save them some cash, but not sure if the hodge podge navy would be a bit weird?

Thoughts welcome!

Hey y'all! I'm seeking advice on planning an elopement / quickie wedding in Vegas( March - May). I'm open to all suggestions and advice.. from hotels to where to celebrate after the ceremony and what to do while in Vegas. We're an older couple and have been married to other people but still love to have fun!

As far as budget - we haven't mapped one out just yet but definitely want to keep it as low budget but nice as possible.

Hi everyone! I put together a registry a while ago, and my future MIL pulled me aside after Thanksgiving and let me know that my registry is TOO modest. Apparently people were asking her what bigger things they could get us, which is an excellent problem to have! We are poor graduate students - I don’t even own a cutting board, so the vast majority of our registry consists of items under $50 that we should already own.

Can anyone share what registry items they added in the $200 - $300 range?

It’s Saturday night and my spray tanner has cancelled due to medical emergency. The appointment was scheduled for this coming Monday, wedding is on Wednesday 🫤 Feeling bummed since I did 2 trials to find the perfect shade. Should I attempt a self tan and rather go pale? Any tips for at-home?

We are having a small family only wedding but we have several friends who “plan” to be in the same town the weekend we are getting married…convenient right?! We will do a bar tab after our ceremony + dinner so that we can celebrate with those friends. I’d like to send them some kind of invite for the after party. Has anyone seen anything like this?

Hi everyone! My date is 10/4/25 and I’m in the process of booking a florist. I’m in a HCOL area and are looking at a 175 person wedding estimated to be 50k at my dream castle venue.

I am trying to cut some costs because my priority is my venue and the food. For some reason, I cannot fathom the idea of spending $120-$150 each on 7 bridesmaid bouquets and god knows what else for centerpieces. I’m considering doing corsages for them and bud vases for centerpieces. Mind you, my venue itself has so much to admire in the first place in terms of decor. My mom/grandma think this is extremely tacky, cheap, and non-traditional. I’ve made comments that if they truly feel this way and it’s that important to them, they should chip in. They declined but I’m getting so much pressure about it.

I plan on having a beautiful bouquet for myself, arbor/arch spray for my ceremony, and a big arrangement on our sweetheart table.

I have been in and to several weddings and I hate seeing the florals go to waste immediately after.

Would appreciate any thoughts on this, ty!

You are my person, my sweetheart since I was 18, my best friend, and today you become my husband. From the laughter we’ve shared, to the countless memories we’ve created, your presence in my life is a gift that I hold close to my heart.

It feels like I have been falling in love with you over and over again for the last 9 years. Each time a more mature version of you but some things never change

Like your kind heartedness and your willingness to put everyone needs above your own

Your ability to lighten up the room, whether it’s your contagious laugh or your charming voice that has given me butterflies since the day we met

Your love and support to me always

Your commitment and trust within our relationship

Your strength to make decisions when Im not able too. Like when you saved our Leo for the 3rd time. Not because you had to but because you told me later you knew it would break my heart. It goes without saying that you truly know me better than anyone.

Our journey together has been brought together by love but our devotion to each other and our companionship is what has helped us form such a strong foundation to our relationship.

You and I have been through many seasons together and I can honestly say that you’ve held my hand on the best days of my life and also the worst. I’m thankful for every moment of it. You've showed me love, patience, grace and opened up my heart to god. When I let god in, I let go and the peace it's given me is something only you would understand from watching me grow into the women I am today.

Today I promise you forever.

I promise to honor and cherish you, to always support you in your dreams.

I promise you endless fishing trips, hunting, and snowboarding- just promise me you’ll pass your skills down to our children their going to need it

I promise to spend the rest of my days making you as happy as you make me.

I promise you patience and compromise, to always see both sides.

I promise to love you in good times and hold you close in difficult times, to love you always and forever.

Lastly, I promise to look for you in our next lifetime, because I know this one will never be enough

Hi everyone! I was just posting to see if others have had any experience using Sola wood flowers and if so what that experience has been?

Hi! I bought my wedding dress out of state and need to find a tailor for alterations of my wedding dress here in IL. I live in Aurora so anywhere in Kane, Kendell, DuPage, Will or Cook Counties. I work in Downers Grove so I'm open to any recommendations out there as well. TIA!