I love my partner so incredibly much I don’t think he understands how much. We are 10 years apart. And I feel our relationship is growing stronger every day. He’s the serious one I’m the free spirit crazy one. The only issue is he’s totally happy with sex on the one morning a we when he’s in the mood. Me I’m freaking hornie. I wake in the middle of the night wishing I could suck him dry. I’m always daydreaming of eating cake, him topping me and I explode hands free…… even planting my face to smell his jewels. I stroke out one all the time. If it was up to me on a cool rainy day like today we would watch movies in bed nude and pet and cuddle even love for him to let me rim him while he enjoys tv. (He says getting rimmed does nothing) even making out in the hot tub 🥵🥵🥵. Or long massages to really relax. Don’t forget washing each other in the giant shower.

What do I do to get him to open up and have fun and explore each other. We have the rest of our lives and should make it amazing.

Hi y’all. I needed to get a wider variety of advice for what I am going through and I am hoping you all can help me. I am in a relationship that is going on a year. The man is honestly a dream. He sees me for me and calls me beautiful daily. In a sense everything I have ever dreamed of. However, there are a few things that give me pause. He has been married before so he doesn’t want marriage. He has some really racist friends (I am Latino/black). We rarely have sex. So here is the thing. I have been able to hold my own with the racist friends. But the not wanting marriage and the not having sex often is killing me. I am coming off of an open relationship that was really damaging to me and then a year of being free to have the fun I wanted without feeling bad about it. So jumping into monogamy again has been a real challenge. Like I think about sex daily several (most) times a day. I do fear maybe I am too sexual. But also I am who I am and I can’t change that! I am just scared I will end up cheating and be left to think about it until I explode and tell him. Or keep nagging him about it and seem like an asshole. Y’all please. What do I do? He is really an amazing man in so many ways. But I am a horny guy and I need my sexual needs met! I feel so bad even writing this. I’d never want to hurt him in the slightest. But I need help. Is it just me?

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to jot down my feelings that I was going through over the last 5 months, or maybe even longer.

About, 2 months ago, I asked my partner, I wanted a divorce.

We have been together for over 10 years, but the last 5 months, or even longer, it has been a rough time.

For the last 5 months, he has been very mean to me for no reason. (or maybe there was a reason?)

Maybe he was not into me as much as before, or he was just in a bad mood, but it had gotten so bad that he did not even want me to touch or help him, such as, if I offered him to hold his stuff for him (grocery bags, shopping bags, or just name anything you can hold on your hands), he said "No, I don't need help" but in a mean way with mean voice.

One day, he told me that I had been so negative (because I was saying "I was tired, full, and feel bloated"), and yelling at me saying "You are not the same person I fell in love 10 years ago"

I thought I was the problem, but the other problem arose from there- he had been cheating on me for over 2 years with other people. It was not one, but multiple- I wanted to think that he was just flirting, but it was more than flirting.

He went out dinner with people without telling me (He always said work events, work people, or other friends), drank with other people, went over to their places, and brought them to our place when I was gone.

To be honest, I knew he was cheating on me since the beginning. He was constantly on the app and claiming "making a friends", and I caught him that he brought his ex-boyfriend to his hotel when we were visiting my hometown right before the wedding.

I always wanted to trust him that he will change or he will commit to me, or maybe I was too scared to end the relationship because he was one of my very first serious relationship.

At the end of the day, he never changed, and he cheated on me again, and it really shattered me.

...I am still processing a lot of my feelings, that maybe I can go back and change him or I can change myself because there are a lot of people cheating probably too. However, I know that it is not true. Also I know that there are people who can give me the love he was not able to give to me.

He had been saying that he doesn't have any sexual drives anymore, but clearly it is not true, and he was just playing behind me all along.

I know that it is the right choice to end this relationship, but it is just hard to process, and I need to snap out of the dreams and memories that I had.

...well thank you for reading this, and I hope, I can snap out of it soon, and rebuild my life soon again

so me and my boyfriend been together for almost 3 years now and we have had a great time together and have had our ups and downs and bad times. i’ve always been there for him and i’ve even rescued him when he really needed me. mind you he lives 3 hours away. and i would do anything to be with him. there’s been times i called out of work to go get him when he needed me the most. over a year ago we got into a atv accident and i was unharmed but he broke his arm. and i had to leave him to call 911 and run up the road 1/2 mile. but anyways this past year has been yhe worst for me and him. ever since he turned 21 and started a job and now is a manager, we barely see each other we didn’t even get to call or facetime anymore. we do but it’s on a rare occasion. he tells me he doesn’t like to call or be on the phone much anymore because he said he’s (older now) 🙄 and now when i call him to talk he either declines my calls and says i’m suffocating him. he also constantly gives co workers a ride and hangs with them now. he doesn’t even ask me to come see him after work or before work but he will go hang with his co workers. and when we have time to be with each other he says his parents want him home at a certain time. i just don’t know what to do anymore. his job basically ruined our relationship and he doesn’t see it. he also doesn’t communicate with me properly and yells at me an treats me like shit if i call a bunch or i keep asking to call. i’m sorry for the long text everyone lol

Me (M) 17 years old, never experience any gay romantic relationship. when I was a child I'm always attracted to woman but still I'd never experienced relationship at that time but when I was 13 years old that's when I realized that I like men, that decrease my chance of being in relationship because my parents are not that open with gay relationship and are not ready to have a gay son, and now I feel a little bit lonely because all my friend are having a relationship commitments of their own and I wonder like what it is like to have that feelings, and my friend's always asking me what my type in a person is but I can't say that my type is not what they imagined it ( my type is men ), it feels like being left out because when my cof hangout they always tell us their like partners but at first I don't have problems with that but as the time goes by I feel irritated and jealous because why can they experience it and not me, and I always thought that the reasons I don't have a romantic relationship with anyone is because of my looks ( I'm always insecure about it ) and being a person who value my religion didn't really help it, but I hope there will come a time that I will meet the right person.

I've never really been interested in marriage. It's always just felt like a legal thing to me, something we do to secure our lives with not too sure if this fits here. But I just wanted to tell someone)

I've never really been interested in marriage. It's always just felt like a legal thing to me, something we do to secure our lives with another. But I think that's because I was never truly with the right person.

My partner and I have a bit of a rough past. We met when I was in an open poly relationship with someone else. In reality, I shouldve ended that relationship long ago.... Because the moment I met my current partner, my life changed. I never felt so connected to someone. But I didn't and he wasn't ready for a relationship. The both of us weren't really sure who we were or what we truly wanted. So we ended up disappearing from each other's life for about 3 years.

I thought about him so often throughout those years and recently we reconnected. My 5 year relationship ended (mutually, for the most part.) and now we are happy together. Feels like my dreams have come true.

I feel... Different. I feel like I have a true partner in life. I keep finding myself thinking about how I need to keep growing into a better person. I never really felt challenged in my other relationships. I always felt, for a lack of better words, superior. It's completely different now.

Its so crazy how many times I've looked at him and thought 'I'm going to marry you one day'

Anyway, the whole reason I'm writing this is because I was just watching an episode of The Resident. (I'm completely obsessed with it lol) and there was a wedding. I watched them give their vows to eachother and I watched all their friends witness it..... And I started to cry. I know it's ridiculous, I'm crying about a fake wedding. But all I could think about was being in that situation.

Walking down the aisle, my brother there as my best man. Saying cheesy vows and fumbling with the ring cause I'm nervous af. Idk.... I just honestly can't wait for this to happen for me. I finally found the man I want to grow old with. To travel with. To make stupid mistakes and amazing discoveries with. The man that will constantly challenge me and push me to be my best self. The man who doesn't take me for face value, but truly sees me.

I'm ridiculously happy and scared all at the same time. He makes me feel so freaking alive!!!

So I'll say it again.

Three years ago, I met the man that I never knew would change my life so drastically. One day.... I will marry him and I'm so damn excited. But I think that's because I was never truly with the right person.

My partner and I have a bit of a rough past. We met when I was in an open poly relationship with someone else. In reality, I shouldve ended that relationship long ago.... Because the moment I met my current partner, my life changed. I never felt so connected to someone. But I didn't and he wasn't ready for a relationship. The both of us weren't really sure who we were or what we truly wanted. So we ended up disappearing from each other's life for about 3 years.

I thought about him so often throughout those years and recently we reconnected. My 5 year relationship ended (mutually, for the most part.) and now we are happy together. Feels like my dreams have come true.

I feel... Different. I feel like I have a true partner in life. I keep finding myself thinking about how I need to keep growing into a better person. I never really felt challenged in my other relationships. I always felt, for a lack of better words, superior. It's completely different now.

Its so crazy how many times I've looked at him and thought 'I'm going to marry you one day'

Anyway, the whole reason I'm writing this is because I was just watching an episode of The Resident. (I'm completely obsessed with it lol) and there was a wedding. I watched them give their vows to eachother and I watched all their friends witness it..... And I started to cry. I know it's ridiculous, I'm crying about a fake wedding. But all I could think about was being in that situation.

Walking down the aisle, my brother there as my best man. Saying cheesy vows and fumbling with the ring cause I'm nervous af. Idk.... I just honestly can't wait for this to happen for me. I finally found the man I want to grow old with. To travel with. To make stupid mistakes and amazing discoveries with. The man that will constantly challenge me and push me to be my best self. The man who doesn't take me for face value, but truly sees me.

I'm ridiculously happy and scared all at the same time. He makes me feel so freaking alive!!!

So I'll say it again.

Three years ago, I met the man that I never knew would change my life so drastically. One day.... I will marry him and I'm so damn excited.

Ok so I (16FtM) have a crush on a guy (16M). The thing is I've been friends with him for a few years now, and these feelings have showed up in the past month or two. I need to find a way to ask him out, make it clear that it's not just as friends, but without actually saying it, since I have way too much anxiety for that. Sometimes when we're bored we'll write encoded messages for each other to solve, I'm planning on doing that but I just don't know how to word it.

I have met this guy and everything seems to be great, we are truly there for each other, almost known each other for about a year now. We started dating with no titles and he is amazing! The emotional connection is so strong but when it comes to sex I do get turned on but i don’t want it everyday. Is it me? I never had this happened before with anyone else. Usually if I’m in the mood I’ll get on the dating apps and get it taken care of but idk. Any advice?

I'm [22M] in my first relationship with my boyfriend [22M] and would like to have some general advices. We are going out for 2 months and last week decided to make it official. The thing is I feel I'm very immature in some aspects because I overthink too much about he leaving me. I never say to him what I think since I know I'm being paranoid and don't want to bother him with my issues, as I noticed he tends to blame himself when something goes wrong and I don't want him to feel bad. We never had any fights or argues and he's very sweet and caring to me, my mind is the problem here. Sometimes I get too emotional and sensitive over the smallest thing he does but I also try to not throw that on him, because I know it's not that deep. Would like some advice on how to deal with this, I really like him and don't want to mess it up.

Guys idk what to do my boyfriend has a horrible temper like he has anger issues he gets mad at the most smallest things like mistakes especially and he’s very explosive with his words like he says a lot of things he doesn’t mean when he gets mad and it can be the smallest of causes and he’ll get so disrespectful about it. I’ve tried talking to him about how I don’t like the way he gets when he gets upset I talked to him about it multiple times on different occasions and he’s even agreed with me he’s made promises to stop getting mad and disrespectful but he just keeps going against his word and becomes so mean to me and don’t get me wrong I argue back I can be very rude too but I don’t like fueling the fire I don’t like yelling I don’t like pushing an issue that isn’t work my emotional intelligence idk what to do guys i don’t want to breakup with him over this reoccurring issue but I keep talking to him about it and he just keeps breaking this deal we make.

I’m someone who rarely uses dating apps for just fun. Don’t get me wrong, I do and I do go on meets, but I am trying to find something a bit more like a relationship than just fuck.

I just don’t understand guys intentions and think I’m just a bit naive, wish I could just move on and forget something but I feel such an urge to just go back to a guy on some things.

My example is I was chatting to someone older than me. I popped up to him, just said he was good looking, he said it back, we spoke about ourselves and got on, exchanged numbers and spoke more then went about our day.

The next day, he messaged me on the app, we spoke more again, he suggested we meet up for a coffee or something. We didn’t really mention sex much when talking, but he did suggest to meet up for a chat and date almost so I was good with that.

The next day, I messaged him and it was like a light switch. Blunt,not overly chatty. He’d reply, but not really continue the convo. I thought about post nut clarity but then thought, he didn’t even have any nudes from me, we didn’t talk much about sex, and he’s now making excuses to meet, after he was the one that suggested it and said he’ll check when he’s free and he was the one that messaged me starting a convo the next day.

I sent another message a couple of days later asking if he was still up for meeting at all and he can tell me if not. He told me what he liked about me, found me attractive but was now worried about age and how we lived an hour from each other. I guess me being hopeful took “worried” as there’s still a possibility and I also thought - this isn’t binding, we could just meet as friends that may get together for some fun. I told him I can accom.

I sent messages the next couple of days and again, got replies, but not really continuing the conversation.

I guess I’m a bit too innocent for this game but I just want to know what went wrong? What happened? I left it and the couple of weeks later saw he was online, so sent a message just asking how he was. Again, he replied, didn’t ask me back how I was, I replied, he replied, and then he just made himself appear offline (which you can tell).

I just thought, seriously? Could have just not replied or even blocked me. Id get the picture then. I feel like messaging and just asking what changed, did he really just shoot a load over a pleasant chat and decide “not for me”. I don’t understand how guys can just fall off like that.

I know I should just let it go and don’t know why I care about someone I hardly know being blunt with me but I just feel like sending one final message saying something like “not sure what happened, you don’t even seem keen to chat as potential friends when you were so lovely before and keen to know about me. you’ve got my number if you want to contact me or just block me and I’ll get the clear picture”.

I know comments will just tell me to just forget it but for some reason it’s really stuck with me. Like I said, maybe I’m too naive.

So i just joined tinder and inorder to like photos i have to upload my face picture and ..im really scared i havent exactly came out to my family and i dont want them finding out like idk how they or whatever but idk whatt to do..like if they find out i will be in big shit cause its my first time on a dating app so yeah...also how can u tell if a person is interestted in males if he doesnt put like what his looking for..?

I’m 20 M and he’s 21 M. After 1 year of an almost perfect relationship, he cheated. Apparently he didn’t meet up with anyone but he still lied and was texting guys behind my back:/ And I going to be able to take him back? I have no idea, I found out about a week ago and this has been the most draining week. It’s not just this I’ve found out he’s lied to me abt so many things and have even caught him in several different lies recently, one being when i told him we’re over he redownloaded grindr. We had such an amazing relationship which is the only reason I was willing to give it another chance but now all I can see when I talk to him is a cheater, and a liar. I guess I was just hoping for some advice on what to do if possible, thank you all so much! Look forward to hearing your advice!:)

title says it. i'm 20 male, ex is 20 male. it was my first long term relationship. we were together 4-5 years. we broke up 1.5 years ago and, as hard as it is for me to admit, i don't think im over him.

i think about him at least once a day. i think its because he had such a huge impact on my life and my key social development years. we met when we were in highschool. it was the first relationship i felt i wasn't rushed into. we shared a very amazing group of friends. he was an extrovert that basically adopted me (an autistic socially anxious yet also extroverted person) and showed me around to all his friends. a core memory i have is when i visited him once and he took me to a party with his high school friends. i was fully expecting it to be awkward since it was a bunch of kids from a nice private school that all knew each other and some random person from out of state was here. but he showed me around and by the end of the night i was friendly with almost everyone there. one thing he said still sticks with me - "you know it's a good party when we aren't following each other around". another really nice memory i have from that is one of his highschool friends (that i had talked to online a bit before this) got really drunk and tacke-hugged me. he told me i was one of his best friends because we would talk about computers and anime. when we broke up he kinda had a to choose a side and decided to go with my ex

we had almost all the same hobbies and interests. he would always teach me stuff that he liked, (i know this is basic human decency but hear me out) and if i did it better than him, he would never be upset or jealous like id expect (half asian family and split parents so very competitive), he'd be genuinely proud of me, and encourage me to push myself further. he absolutely part of the reason i'm doing so well (career wise) for my age.

but so much reminds me of him. listening to my favourite music? he introduced me to the band. by extension - go to a concert? he's there. giving a presentation at a national conference for work? he helped me write my slide notes, like he did in highschool and taught me my public speaking skills. playing piano? he taught me to read sheet music. urbexing? he would drop everything to come with me - mainly to make sure i didn't get hurt. playing my favourite story game? we played it together and cried about it. going on a nightwalk? we used to do that together all the time.

it wasn't just a relationship. he was my best friend. i've never had a friend like him ever. we could actually have quality conversation. he would keep me out of trouble. we were there for each other (though less so towards the end)

it's not like i never got closure. i absolutely did. he sent me a very long message detailing everything i did wrong. towards the end, i was genuinely a terrible partner. i would never blame him for leaving me. that message did genuinely help me improve as a person, but im still not over it and i have no idea what to do. i can't talk to him. he doesn't wanna talk to me. he never acknowledges me in public or responds to my texts. we now live in the same city. for the most part i'm much happier. i'd always fantasise about moving to his home city (i wanted to anyway before i met him) and now im here and it feels like he's missing. i really hate this

Anyone gone through a break up where it felt all consuming, never ending pain, upset, nausea etc?

I’m currently going through that, and at times it feels better but it’s tough.

I’d really like to hear of others who went through that, BUT got over it, are genuinely happy now and don’t miss there ex at all. If anything, feel indifferent. That’s where I want to be.

Thank you!!

After posting here recently about an issue, I wanted to do a more complete post to get some perspectives.

I have had a number of issues in my relationship for quite some time, but lately it has been so stressful and I just need some support and guidance. I a, gay, 25M in a relationship with 22m for 1.5 years. While there are many good components to the relationship, we have big struggles in several areas:

I have never been even close to satisfied with our sex life. There are so many issues, from too low of frequency in my opinion, to him seemingly never wanting to have any from of sex (he has literally called it a waste of his time on several occasions) and only doing it because he knows I want to, to me not being able to ask for sex (he looks as if his world is crashing down around him when I ask), me lasting a long time and him only lasting a couple of minutes, and more.

I feel he abuses weed. When me met, he smoked week constantly and was high literally every minute of every day (as in he would even get up in the middle of the night to smoke more weed to make sure he didn’t wake up sober). I told him before we moved in together I could not live with a smoker, so he switched to gummies. He doesn’t get high when he goes to work now, but he used to brag about he would go to work high and nobody knew, how good of a drive he is when he is high, etc. He says he does it for anxiety and to turn off his brain. I don’t know much about weeks, I personally have never tired it and have no desire to do so. But his habit seems like a severe addiction to me.

He seems to have emotional issues. For example, he cannot handle doing something he does not want to do or being somewhere he does not want to be. He will either start yelling incessantly about in (only in private) or shuts down completely and just wants to lay in bed. For example, it seems that never never wanted to work a full time job, and he frequently goes off the deep end about recently starting a full time job and the stress that comes along with that. He frequently breaks down in yelling and bad emotional fits.

He constantly makes excuses for himself about anything and everything. Some are valid reasons, others seem to be hogwash.

Basically, I wanted to vent into the void about this as I try to navigate this tough situation and hear any comments/questions. Of course there are good things about this relationship, but these issues in particular are very draining. His emotions are so volatile at times that I fear him coming home when he’s in a bad mood (I’m not afraid for my safety, but for my mental wellbeing).

I'm not really good at typing these kind of things, but I [M18] met this guy on hinge [M18] and he was really sweet and everything and he asked me to be his boyfriend, and I said yes. We keep talking and he's planning dates and then he randomly just stops responding and then I find out that he blocked me on everything. He's Mormon which in my eyes shouldn't mean anything because it's just human decency to call something off rather than just blocking them. Any advice for how to move past it lol?

I (29m) could use some advice about a guy (27m) who I met on bumble and I’ve been talking to. He's giving off mixed signals, and it’s leaving me second-guessing. We’ve been chatting regularly for a few days about shared interests like travel and movies. He seems engaged, sending playful responses, but his reply timing is inconsistent—sometimes he takes a couple of hours, other times longer.

Recently, after we joked about going to the movies, I suggested we actually set a date, and he replied positively. I followed up to plan a specific day, but he left me on "seen" almost 24 hours ago. I’m genuinely interested but don’t want to push. This isn’t the first time he’s left a message unanswered for a while, even though he seems engaged when he does reply.

Anyone else dealt with this? At what point should I step back and see if he initiates?

Recent messages for context:

• Me: "My dream country to visit right now is Japan."
• Him: "Oh, don't forget to take me with you haha. Also, much cheaper to share accommodation!"
• Me: "It would be very lovely!! Hope we have the cinema date before then though!"
• Him: "Hahahah, I hope so too."
• Me: "How about we actually make it happen? Any day you're free coming up?"

Also, I feel like this kind of mixed signal is super common in the gay dating scene, and it’s honestly exhausting. I’ve noticed people start conversations only to disappear, and it’s hard to know who’s genuinely interested. i'd appreciate any advice and thoughts on this :(

Me ( 24M ) and my boyfriend ( 24M ), have been together for 7 months or something and I really like spending time with him, but I don’t know how to feel about the relationship. We’re both Bi and neither of us is very feminine, our relationship can sometimes be described with the expression “boys being dudes”, which I’m fairly ok with, but I’m kinda scared that the lack of the feminine touch might lead to some distance on either side. Not necessarily saying that this are strictly feminine things, but to give some insight in the bases of our relationship, we don’t have a “started dating day”. No one asked no one, we just assumed and accepted we were dating, with a simple “we’re dating right?” followed by a “yes, i think so”. I’m not saying that this is a bad thing, but it feels very different from other relationships I had, both with guys and girls. And that brings me to another problem, I am completely out, my parents have known boyfriends and girlfriends, although in his case, his parents, and most of his family, don’t know about it. His brother and his brother’s girlfriend know, but the brother, although not being explicitly rude or unfriendly towards me, is not very supportive. This makes it harder for us to be together, specially near his home, since he lives in a small town, and people talk. If this wasn’t enough, he’s studying for a really hard exam, and has been for the whole relationship. This exam will take place in the end of November, after that he’ll travel with his friends from college the first 3 weeks of December, and then Christmas and new years will come around, meaning we’ll not have a “proper” relationship until January. The fact that he spends most of his time studying makes me thing that I don’t really know how a real relationship with him feels like and it worries me sometimes. This added to the fact that every time we’re near his town we have to “hide”, which I’m tired of, although I respect his wishes of waiting until after the exam to come out, I still feel castrated.

Is waiting for January to see how the relationship evolves a good option? As anyone been in a similar situation that would like to give me an insight?

Cringe but:

If you cant stop thinking about a guy that you have only met 3 times...Does it mean you really found someone you REALLY like.

We have not done anything sexually , just meet up for walks, coffee , driving around ,and showing him places because hes only been in the country for 11 months-and THIS is my dilemma:

My original intention was to meet new people with no intentions of a relationship because hes on a work visa.

Hes said the same thing but hes given my hints like wanting to cuddle in bed but Ive resisted and 'friend zoned' him but theres is something really attractive about his vulnerability to open up about personal struggles that makes me like him more.

Should I just still keep it at a friendship level.Im in my mid 30s and never felt this way in a long time and understand the dissappointment if he has to return home

Me (52M) and my partner (54M) of 3 years have always disagreed on this. And it continues to arise and cause conflict at times.

In my past LTRs me and my partners openly shared about our past relationships. Not the private details, but you know the basic stuff. For me, it gives me an understanding of what my partner has been through and I feel gives my partner the same. It also provides me a mental lifeline in my head and gives that to my partner as well.

Along the way, mentioning things that happened or occurred I hope gives my partner insight into why I am the way I am about certain things. For example, I took care of my late husband during his 7 month terminal cancer struggle and eventual death. I've been through a lot and I have some very specific thoughts and beliefs after going through that. It was a journey that changed me forever. I hope sharing some helps him to understand me better. Why I am the way I am, maybe.

However, my partner is completely opposite. He is strongly opposed to sharing anything. In the beginning I would ask him basic stuff. Like who was your fist boyfriend. Who was your longest LTR partner and what happened to end things. With every question he would be bothered by it and tell me he told me he didn't want to focus on the past. He says he lives in the present and that's all that matters.

Well, I've kept pushing. Because after 3 years I still don't have any sort of lifeline or timeframe in my head of which guy came first, or who he lived with in a certain city, or who was that partner that worked the night shift. I've told him I just want to know him and understand how things have affected him, shaped him, and formed him and who he is today. That I feel if we each have a better understanding it will help our relationship be more successful. But he disagrees.

We had a huge fight a while back and he screamed at me and said I lived in the past and have euphoric recall about everything. He also said I was not over my late husband, called my longest LTR partner by the wrong name, and said he wasn't sure if this was going to work out. I yelled back to him that at least once, at least one time I wish he would ask or say something about my late husband or what I might have gone through. I've told him repeatedly he can ask me anything. It's the biggest and hardest thing I've been through in my life and he knows that. I just once wish he would say something. Just acknowledge it rather than pretend it never happened. I have children (22 yo and 17 yo) and they talk about it. Yet he doesn't say anything. The entire subject is completely disregarded and never spoken about. Don't get me wrong, I don't want or expect to be talking about it all the time. But the guy's ashes are in an urn on my living room shelf. He was a huge part of my life. My late husband has a son about to get married soon. I'm still in contact with my former mother-in-law and sibling-in-laws.

It has become such an issue for us that it causes me doubt. I start thinking he is hiding things or keeping them from me on purpose. And that might be what makes him this way. I even question if what he has told me is true. Did his relationships end for reasons other than he has told me, what little he has told me.

What are others' experiences? Do you share and want to know about your partners' past relationships? Am I expecting too much? Too much at the 3 year mark? Or too much period?

Have been dating for about two years, at the beginning of our relationship he would sneakily take pictures of me and send them to his friends on Snapchat, also constantly sending pictures (and more) to these people.

When confronted about it, he lied over and over, until I had full proof, unfortunately by going through his phone. At this point he never really deleted messages and notifications, only once in a while.

Months pass and at least every month or two I’d go through his phone and find more things, confronting him and continuously getting lied to and when faced with proof, that he “didn’t remember”

I, in these situations, have yelled and been extremely mean which has led me to be more of the wrong in the situation. He is an extremely suicidal person and I cannot bring anything up to him unless he’s in a perfect mood.

Over time I have become numb and jaded, somewhat getting used to what’s been happening. I have confronted some of the key people he messages, in which some don’t respond, one said that she thought we had open and honesty, and his former ex said he attempts to recontact him multiple times as week, on days like Christmas and Valentine’s Day.

At the beginning of our relationship he said he was in the mood all the time but has quickly degraded to hardly any at all, saying he’s tired, or in pain, that he thought too much, that I nag too much, it’s too late.

Fast forward to yesterday and he still continues to message some people, people he said he would like to invite to a potential wedding, which hurts. He hides messages more now, I adding and reading to delete messages, muting conversations with people. Instantly clearing notifications if they come up on his phone. A friend found him on Grindr, with his demographics that he had when we first talked. I brought it up to him, as we had some of his pictures for proof. Half the time during sex he won’t get off and says he’s the issue but makes me think he’s getting bored or gets off other times so his libido is down. Almost always needs poppers for sex which makes me not feel good enough. He insisted someone was making a fake profile of him.

He was recently fired so he’s at home all the time, I was at work this day. Next day I had my friend come over while he was gone (keep in mind he was gone two hours longer than he said) and we found that his profile was 0feet away from where I live after the profile was no longer active, which means the profile was activated near or in the home. I have to approach him about it but he’s good at lying. Even saying he learned manipulative tactics in the military.

I’m desperately trying to get over this and find my way in this relationship, but I have no financial way out, I have nobody. Please say what I should do and your perspective.

Edit: he’s still hiding it and lying making me feel like I don’t trust him unreasonably over two years later

My boyfriend of 10 months (both 36M) never wants to have sex. He has a reputation for hooking up, has a huge dick, and was successful at OF. He no longer has OF. With me, he says he’s uncomfortable being naked with other men. He doesn’t know this but our mutual friend who they met by hooking up, is having a difficult time believing this because my bf (now bf) asked our mutual friend to be fb’s. It just doesn’t make sense that my bf doesn’t want to have sex especially in the honeymoon phase. He also never does any work. He’s a bottom. I never pressure him to be penetrated but he doesn’t even want to do other stuff. What do you think is up?

Long story short, me M29 met M39. We saw each other for about 2 months once a week. We went all the way a couple times. Had good conversations. I felt I got hints of him liking me and maybe wanting more. So I asked what we are or if he wanted something serious. It was a no from him and I do want something serious. So we decided on being friends and I cut off sexual benefits.

Well since then we've still met up weekly, we've only missed 1 weekend. No sex though. Slept over once at his suggestion. He's been giving me mixed signals. From taking my picture and sketching me. To complimenting me, asking me if I'm working out more since he sees my muscles. Then this last weekend, we talked about me wanting my own place to move away from home. He suggested I should move close to his city. Same night, I was sitting on a single person couch and he picked up his cat and asked me to scoot over so he can sit with me. We were basically face to face cause it was a small chair.

Then before leaving, he said he wished I could stay the night. Since I work from home he for some reason asked if it would be possible to work from his house or anywhere? I said yea anywhere with internet. I suggested he wouldn't want me there all day. To which he said he wouldn't mind but id be bored with him gone for work. Then like we always do when we leave we usually do a short side hug. This time he gave a really firm hug 🤣😂.

Now I know im probably delusional in thinking these are signals from him. He's already said he doesn't want anything serious and he was okay with no sex friendship. Then why is he giving me these signs? For my sake I know I need to give it space but should I ever confront him about the behavior?

What do you guys think?

Is there any Australian sites for gay men looking for a potentially monogamous relationship. Sick of the back and forth of gay apps. Getting to old for it and would like to find more

I’m gay and my boyfriend of 1.5 years seems to avoid having sex as much as possible. We have anal now once as week at most (he’s a bottom I am a top), I’m 25m and he is 22m. He will only have sex if it’s planned in advance and he cancels at least half of the time (last week, he planned and canceled sex three times). I really can’t initiate sex, if I ask he literally gets this look every time as if his world is crashing in around him and he will almost never say yes if I ask. He has to initiate it and I really never feel like he wants to. It makes me really sad and hurt. I have told him how I feel repeatedly and he’s always full of reasons for why we can’t have sex. Is this normal? If I had my way I would be having sex daily, but three times a weeks or so would be fine. It just seems like he never wants to and there is always some excuse to avoid sex.

Hi! I (23M) am currently in a friends with benefit situation with another 23M. We both met in college and coincidentally are both living in NYC now. When we first met it was really just hooking up. But now being in the city, we’ve been going on friend dates/doing activities and then sometimes after that would go back to my place for fun.

He’s inexperienced (only hooked up with 1 guy before me). He’s not out, but I am out to most people. And he’s very shy.

I like him but I also want him to experience other people, I feel like I would be selfish to try to be in a monogamous relationship with someone who isn’t out. Because I feel like when I came out, I was able to explore more of myself and my interests. I feel like he hasn’t done that yet, he hasn’t even explored much of the gay community and I’ve been having to teach him a lot.

My questions: -There is clearly chemistry, but how does one try to get into a relationship with someone who isn’t out? -Should I wait and stay FWB until he comes out and let him explore himself first?

Thanks for any advice here or direction to any similar posts!

I (32m) love my partner (34m) and I am very much attracted to him. I would love to be intimate with him every single day and never get tired of looking at him. However, he has a low sex drive compared to me. I try everything to turn him on and make him attracted to me. I often end up feeling rejected. We have sex maybe once per month and jack off together maybe once or twice per month. It feels like he puts in zero effort and when we are intimate (if he can get hard) he just wants to lay there and I have to do everything. During our “dating” stages he was in an open marriage. We knew each other before he was married but the timing was off and it didn’t work out before. We reconnected years after he was married and there was definitely sparks and we had some really good sex. I fell in love but he wouldn’t leave his partner until his partner initiated the break up. He has been living with me for the past 10 months, hasn’t contributed a single penny towards the bills and is uninterested in sex. He doesn’t make much money at the moment but I find myself being resentful because he’s not contributing and isn’t interested in me sexually anymore. I feel like all I do is work my ass off to pay the bills and I just want to feel wanted and have a healthy sex life. We have had several conversations about our sex life but his answer is always “i don’t know what to say. I’m not as horny as you”. I have become so depressed to the point that I’m starting antidepressants(lexapro) this week. I have done lots of research on the medication and one of the side effects for people is low libido. I wonder if this will make a difference in our relationship or make me care less? I truly enjoy this man more than any other human I’ve been around. I don’t want to leave him but at the same time I don’t want to waste the rest of my “young” years not having sex when I feel like it should be the opposite. I have subtly mentioned or asked if how he feels about open relationship but he says he’s not interested in it. I feel bad for pressuring him and don’t want him to feel forced into sex but I also feel very sexually frustrated. I know I’m not the only one experiencing this. I honestly would love if he let me have sex with other people and him if or when he wants it. I would feel extremely jealous and betrayed if he had sex with other people though. I am aware that it sounds completely selfish but I feel like I have needs that aren’t getting met. I also have other needs as far as companionship that ARE being met more than anyone else I have dated. I feel stuck and it’s a hard conversation for us to keep having and also a hard conversation to share with people close to me for their advise. So here I am on Reddit looking for someone who can relate or give a little insight. What would you do?

For context: my partner [M25] and I [M22] have been together for almost 2 years now. We basically live together bc of how much we see each other and both of us have relatively high sex drives. Everything about the relationship has been great, very little issues and if any, very minor. I’m not saying this one isn’t but I dont know how to feel about it.

The issue: Sex has been amazing. We disclosed pretty early on the relationship that we would be exclusive and opted out of an open relationship. We would do it three to four times a week and would finish everytime. Up until two days ago. We were going at it as usual and midway, my partner just calls it off saying he’s very tired and doesn’t see himself finishing anytime soon. I was taken aback by it at first because that would be the first time this would happen, but ofc respected his wishes and we got in the shower to cleanup. I ask him in the shower why he thinks he couldn’t finish and how he’s feeling after it and he starts laughing a little telling me its because he jerked off earlier that day and wasn’t horny anymore (in the middle of sex, just stopped being horny? Idk). I laugh it off with him because I know I don’t have a say in what he does on his personal sexual level, and I don’t think twice about it; I’m just a little weirded out by it bc he was the one to initiate sex. We wouldn’t have sex again upp until today. Again, after our workout in the shower, my partner tells me he wants me to himself tonight and that he wants to have sex. I say great, halfway into it, same thing. He tells me he’s tired and he cuts it out gets dressed as if we weren’t just having sex. I ask him what happened in a concerned way, he says nothing he’s really tired. I asked him if he jerked off today too he says yes right before the workout. At this point I’m kinda pissed bc why would he tell me he wants to have sex then call it off with no warning or signal that he jerked off and can’t finish and isn’t horny anymore. I feel like I’m being played with and I still haven’t finished from the first failed session because I’m not the type to jerk off. No hate towards it, I just don’t do it. And my partner knows that, so I don’t know what to do now bc the moment his jerking off interferes or affects our shared sex life and it compromises on it is the moment I get concerned. I told him I want to talk about this later this evening but I don’t really know how to phrase what I’m feeling and what solutions can be potentially put in place. I don’t like having to tell him to stop jerking off to porn and if I feel like if I do tell him that he’ll just say yes ok and then do it behind my back. I’m not pissed at him doing it but 1) why this often 2) does he prefer it over sex? I’m so confused any advice would help

TL:DR, partner jerks off alot, affects our sex life and I don’t know what to do about it