So I'm a second year student who's taking an English class that I'm starting to really enjoy. It's mostly focused on personal essays and introspective writing, which I never thought I was very good at. I'm a poli-sci major with a history minor, so I'm used to talking about event or other people.

Well in English we have a final essay due at the end and Wednesday we turned in our first draft. I got a very good review from my professor, who called it "outstanding" and already nearly completed, with advice on sections to expand.

Here's there problem. I decided since I was panicking on the entire concept of writing about myself personally, I would write about my panic disorder, and my history of benzodiazepine abuse. I believe what I wrote was entirely focused on myself and not about the people in my life it affected, which seemed appropriate, but when I was excited to show my partner my feedback he read my paper and said "I hate it" loud and harshly and started yelling at me that I was delusional if that's how I saw my abuse and he locked himself in his room and hasn't spoken to me in hours.

I admit, I was writing flowery and I didn't include unnecessary negativity. I wanted to stay on topic (it was only supposed to be a 300 word draft and I was hitting like 580 at the end) and honestly I don't think other people mattered when I was discussing my own personal struggles and how I chemically navigated them.

I guess I want to know, did I fuck up? I really feel I shouldn't have to apologize for him getting so stressed out when it was just a paper, not like I was actively getting high or anything.

I'm mostly hurt because I felt like it was both well written and required me to put myself out there (my whole class read it as well) but also I feel there should be some kind of separation between the art and the artist but he just told me "I'm doing this to us" ("this" I'm not sure what he meant) and that I'm causing him to be stressed. (He himself has a stress disorder but remains unmedicated.).

I'm just not sure what to do. Should I have not shared my paper with him? Was it wrong to write about something so sensitive just for school? I really don't know.

My current boyfriend and I have been dating for three months and I’m starting to question his relationship with his friends. One of his friends who he’s really close with they went on a couple of dates and ended up remaining friends (bothered me at first but I’m 100% over It)

A couple weeks later, he invited me to that same friends house to help paint which I was so excited for. Then last minute he broke me the news that one of his past hookups was going to be there. I ended up not going because I just did not want to involve myself in that small setting, three other people, and not feel genuine with my conversations.

We had a conversation about how I feel about boundaries and him being with past hookups. I told him how I feel and I had asked him if there was anyone else I should know about that you’re still with and had a previous relationship with.

He informed me that his best friend is an open relationship and that he had previously hooked up with his best friend’s partner before. We are staying at the house in a month and I just can’t get over the fact that he did this. (In no way I’m shaming him). I just find it hard to make friends and sexual experiences together. This is the second time I’ve had to ask him and each time he mentioned someone new. And with that partner still being around, I just find it hard for him to not be enticed by it again.

I know this is mainly my insecurities but also I’m not sure if I should have it as a boundary if I don’t want him to be close with his past hookups?

Want to see if anyone has any experience with this type of situation and how they handled it?

My ex and I got together young and moved fast . It was a long-distance relationship, and I sacrificed a lot for him, even losing my family’s support at one point. Despite helping him through his lowest moments, he gradually broke my trust and treated me horribly toward the end, making me push for the breakup on our 1 year anniversary.

Afterward, he wanted to stay friends, but I declined. Months later, he apologized and wanted to rekindle things, but he wasn’t serious, so I cut him off. A year later, he apologized again, this time more maturely. We talked, but I realized I still lacked peace and needed to focus on my mental health and school. When I pulled away, he made hurtful posts on Twitter to get my attention.

Recently, I’ve been thriving in school and celebrating milestones, and he reached out again. This time, he seems genuinely intentional—respecting my boundaries, checking in, sending me lunch money, and planning visits. I can tell he’s done some growing. He says he still loves me and wants to earn my trust back. I love him too, but I’ve healed and let go. I wouldn’t let him disturb my peace again, but I also don’t fully trust his motives, given his past actions.

I’m torn between believing he’s changed and worrying that my judgment is clouded. How do I know if he’s truly serious this time? Any advice would be appreciated

Does anybody remember this photo that was circulating a long time ago, it may have been a meme. I believe the text said “how to get a woman to go fishing” or something like that and it was this hot guy standing in water with fishing boots showing his ass and holding a fish in his hand. I think the pic is in black and white. I’ve been trying to find it and can’t I remember seeing it on Facebook. Anyone have it, or remember it?

hi everyone im M(20) and i was seeing a guy M(23) for about 3 months almost every weekend. he kept talking to me about taking things slow, and i communicated to him that because of really bad past experiences i need stability to feel safe. after we knew we liked each other we kept going back and forth about making it official but he was extremely hesitant. we did though talk about making things exclusive, not seeing other people. after the new year he started distancing himself and i started to get a weird feeling about everything. low and behold he was on tinder, with a bio and everything stating hes looking for a “long-term partner” that crushed me, i feel like i crashed out on him a bit and kind of was harsh and because i gave so much of myself away in a way tried to make him feel bad, like i did this for u … which isnt great. he then drops a bomb, that he doesnt have feelings for me actually. its funny because i was quite closed off in the beginning but he got be to open up because he wanted to get to know me. i feel crushed to be honest. i cant help blame myself, was i too fem, was i too skinny, was i not pretty enough, was i overreacting. did you guys think i could have handled this differently? how do i get over this feeling i feel, i feel so sucked out energy and terrible and i have to continue going to uni as if everything is okay. i know i know it was short but i cant help how i feel. any help or advice would be appreciated. thanks my loves 💘

Dear Reddit,

I’m coming in with a bit of a foggy mind. I’ve experienced a lot of growth within my (24M) relationship with my boyfriend (23M). I won’t go through the whole backstory, but we met at the end of college, graduated in May, now live together, have full-time jobs, and officially hit our one-year anniversary in early January.

I can’t quite describe the phase we’re in, but I’ve been learning a lot about myself—how I process feelings, insecurities, etc. Long story short, my boyfriend has a friend (22-23?M) who makes me feel uneasy because they have a past sexual history. They met in college (we all attended the same school) and continued their friendship after graduation. In my boyfriend’s defense, we don’t have many gay friends, they have things in common, and their friendship has grown over time.

He’s told me their full history and has reassured me multiple times that things didn’t work out romantically and that they’re just friends—no sexual involvement. And honestly, knowing my boyfriend, I believe him. I believe he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me or be unfaithful. But, Reddit, for some reason, I still can’t shake this uneasy feeling. Maybe I’m just insecure—I acknowledge that! But regardless of my boyfriend’s explanations, this friendship makes me jealous.

Imma be real: My boyfriend has told me that I’m more attractive than this person. However, this person does have a bigger dick than me—not that I’m necessarily insecure about that, but the fact that we’ve talked about him so much has my mind running wild. My boyfriend has shared every detail, including how their personalities clash and how he wasn’t even that into him physically (he’s skinny and gives bottom energy, as my boyfriend put it). But still, my thoughts spiral. Does he miss being with him? Does he miss his size? Does he truly enjoy being with me as much as he says? Could he eventually develop feelings for this person down the road? Does he dream about or still think about his dick?

I have never met this person. I don’t know his vibe. Everything I know is what my boyfriend has told me.

A reason most of these questions come up is that, on top of all this, my boyfriend and I haven’t had penetrative sex in over eight weeks. We’ve had a lot of disagreements and communication issues over the past few months—especially since moving in together in July. Life has been busy with work and adjusting to adulthood, so our sexual activity has been inconsistent. Recently, my boyfriend told me he hasn’t wanted to have sex because of our communication struggles—he doesn’t want to “fuck” things out instead of addressing issues. I understand that, and I try not to be overbearing when it comes to sex. I think he’s super attractive and respect his boundaries.

That said, while we still engage in other forms of intimacy (oral, etc.), the last time we had sex, I bottomed. That was my first time bottoming. This friendship situation, on top of the lack of sex, has me overthinking to an unreasonable degree. It makes me uncomfortable and upset, leading me to shut down emotionally. I also find myself pulling away because he’s constantly on his phone—regularly communicating with this friend. Maybe not every day, but often enough that it bothers me. We’ve talked about his phone usage before because, honestly, he’s always on it—but that’s another issue.

This friendship makes me uncomfortable, and I’d love to hear your thoughts. How can I emotionally separate myself from their relationship while continuing to grow with my boyfriend? Or should I even be thinking that way? Whenever my boyfriend and I aren’t on the same page, it drives me crazy. I’ve learned that I have an anxious attachment style while he has an avoidant attachment style, if that helps with context.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you in advance!

I went on a second date with a guy who is 43 and I am 37. He is stable, good-looking, and he has somehow got his life together, but, why do I feel that I can’t connect with him or I don't see a spark? He admittedly liked me and invited me over to come with him to one of his friend's birthday parties. What should I do this time? Should I see him again hoping that my feelings might change or just let him know that it is not something I'd like to pursue.

Thank you!

Hello Everyone 👋 I'm a GWM/53 and currently dating 2 guys online who live in different areas of the country. We've been dating for several months already and it's getting serious with one of them. I know it's wrong to be dishonest with both of them about not letting them know about the other. I have fallen in love with one of them very seriously but don't know how to tell him about the other. I know I'm going to end up losing one or both when they find out about the other guy but I just can't bring myself to telling them upfront. I know I'm being dishonest with both and I know it's gotten out of hand already but I just can't stop. I honestly do need good advice about coming clean.

Hey everyone, I'll try and be as succinct as possible. Me (27M) and my friend (29M) have been good friends for about a year and a half now. We had a little thing that went on when our friendship first started (no sex) but nothing too serious and we decided to just be friends.

Fast forward to this past October and his situationship (24M) comes into the picture. They're doing their own thing, I'm doing mine, things are chill... or so I thought. Once they start dealing with each other I see my friend less and less and I eventually meet his situationship in December. He was shady and nice nasty the entire time, which my friend picked up on but I let it go because I don't like conflict and I don't know what my friend has been telling him.

Things hit the fan on New Year's Eve. I'm out with other friends having a good time and I run into my friend. We're chatting and catching up and his situationship pushes me from behind which startled me because we're in a crowded club. Apparently he didn't like my reaction because when my friend was taking me home he revealed that they got into a major fight and were done. We ended up having drunken sex that night and things went back to normal in our friendship.

Apparently they've been blocking and unblocking each other since then and my friend and I had sex one more time while they were blocking each other again, which the situationship now knows about. I learned a couple of days ago that my friend had never stopped liking me even though he decided to pursue things with the situationship and he is now jealous of me and wants to "confront me".

I really want to avoid conflict at all costs but it seems that this friendship is causing issues that I don't need. I'm not sure where to go from here.

Hello, I’m 19 years old and I’ve recently been experiencing the world of dating and relationships. I was getting to know a guy, Carlos, who is 22, only through chat for a month, and when we met, the date went terribly, and in the end, we ended up being intimate. For that obvious reason, he decided he wasn’t looking for anything serious with me, and that was the end of it. After that, I thought a relationship without commitment or being friends with benefits was sustainable, so I let him know, but at the time I didn’t get a response because he lives in another city, and I thought that was the end of it, so I stopped insisting.

A month later, I met another guy, Juan, who is 25, and everything went well. I feel like we connected, which was an achievement for me because it’s hard for me to meet new people, especially someone I met online. Juan made it clear to me that he didn’t usually accept dates and that I was somewhat of an exception. Honestly, I’m not sure if I believe him because who would want to know they’re one of someone’s options for dating? During the date, we talked, held hands, and kissed. He made it clear that he was looking for something serious and exclusive, and I was looking for something serious too, especially after the first date that went so badly with Carlos. Juan made it clear that he had expectations for a serious future with me, and if an invitation to his house to watch movies counts as formalizing or advancing the relationship, and he also said, 'If you asked me to be your boyfriend, we would do such and such.'

Now I’m confused because I thought the situation with Carlos was over, but it turns out it’s not, because it seems like he’s interested in being friends with benefits, and he’s letting me know. Nothing has happened with Carlos yet, but I haven’t had a second date with Juan either. If I end up accepting to meet with Carlos, would that be considered infidelity for Juan? We’re not official yet, but I know I want something serious, with everything a relationship entails—gifts, time, outings, etc. Would it be inappropriate for me to want to have intimacy with Carlos as a 'goodbye' to close that chapter and not worry about what could happen with Carlos if my relationship with Juan develops? I think it would be much worse to do it once we’re more official. The situation with Carlos feels a bit weird right now, as I feel like there are things that need to be clarified, and it’s unclear how everything will end, and I feel like Carlos thinks the same. I want Juan to trust me, and I don’t want to get into any insecurities or secrets, but I don’t know what I should do, haha.

Hi guys, hope you are all doing well. Please 🙏 don’t be too judgmental. I turned 36 and I am suffering to find anyone for meaningful dating and hopefully more. I am at the point that I am getting desperate and start thinking maybe i have unrealistic expectations. In general I am a shy person at the start, I have a great paying job in one of the most reputable companies in the country, I have two master degrees in mathematics and engineering and I am low key a nerd beginner bodybuilder, I was told I am quite decent looking man. I never use drugs, I don’t do steroids, I love to cook and travel (50+countries), I paint as a hobby. mentally, culturally and physically I am not able to do open relationship. And politically I am left leaning. One of my biggest dreams is one day have a family with children. All of the above mentioned in the straight world is very desirable on paper, however I am having a lot of struggle to find likeminded men to date in my area (Central Europe) It seems everyone is somehow are on drugs regularly ( not judging, it’s just not for me) or avoid monogamy like a plague. Children seem to be a taboo, not wanting to be on half naked parties is looked like a problem. Most guys that show interest are treating me like muscle meat and don’t want to see beyond my looks. The last man that I dated who seemed to be a great match turned out to be extremely right wing who thinks that trans people shouldn’t exist and as a gay man for me that was a no go. He was against immigrants even though he was dating an expert (me) I know a lot of people will judge me here, but I genuinely feel desperate and lonely. I try to put myself out there but recently I don’t even have energy for that. I guess deep inside I still want to know if there are still people like me or it’s a lost case and I should give up . I’d really appreciate your kind honesty in what’s your dating experience

My husband(29y)and I(35y)are going through a very rough patch. He basically has lost sexual interest in me. We very seldom have sex and 9.99/10 times, I initiate it and practically carry it to fruition. When I ask him, he objectively says he finds me attractive a 7/10. We’re in an open relationship and I know he hasn’t met a lot of guys in the past year, but he sexts and fantasises other guys(mostly effeminate guys, and I was never effeminate). He says gradually his sexual preferences have changed. We both have kinda let go of our physique over the past couple of years but I still find him as attractive as day 1. He has given me all the freedom to “whore around”, but I mostly just want to be intimate with him. Very very occasionally do I have the urge to seek out anyone else. He refuses to talk about it in detail saying that I ultimately end of hurt/crying and become confrontational. It is seriously damaging my self worth and I feel I will be ultimately used and discarded. Is it more a couple’s therapy thing or just therapy for me to deal with?

When I was in highschool I had a super huge crush on this guy for like 3 years and I finally told him and we both agreed to become "more than friends." Nothing came of it, mostly because of my crazy overprotective parents, but we are both adults now and after having not spoken to eachother in a year and a half he reached out to me. We spoke for a while about where we are in life now and I had a few good laughs. I was thinking about asking him out when he asked me if I wanted to get coffee with him since we hadn't seen eachother in so long. Does this sound like a date or just reconnecting with an old friend? And if it does turn out to be a date when should I ask deal breaker questions. Also, is it weird to have a second part of the date planned in case things start going well?

My BF and I are closed though we occasionally play with a 3rd. We agreed to no hookup/dating apps.

He has lived in this city for over 20 years and knows, and has done, a lot of guys. So he has lots of contacts in his phone that he still chats with and I know even sexts with them (dirty talk and exchanges pics). In his old hookup days he mainly met guys at bars and that's where these contacts come from. And most of the 3rds we have played with have come from his contacts.

Me on the other hand, I don't know that many guys because I have not lived here as long. I only have a handful in my phone contacts. And those I really consider more friends or acquaintances then FBs/FWBs. My old hookup days were from the apps and I deleted my profiles and the apps completely once we got serious and mono (as we agreed).

I can't help but feel things are unequal. He continues to sext guys on his phone. I've even caught him sharing pics of us having sex (no faces) and I blew up at him because I've asked him before not to share pics of us. I feel like those are for us only. I mean, can't some things remain intimate and private between us? I've also asked him not to share pics of my dick and ass. G rated face pics only.

Meanwhile, I really have no contacts and don't even have occasions to connect with guys to meet and exchange contact info with, much less chat or sext with them. And I have no contacts for us to include as a 3rd.

So basically I feel he has a lot of control. He gets to continue to sext guys (and there are lots of them!). And anyone we play with will be someone he has known and played with for years, which even that doesn't sit well with me because we had a couple of issues early on when we were not committed yet and still open, where he and some 3rds we would play with were hooking up on the side and hiding it from me and lying about it. So trust has been an issue for us. And I feel insecure about him being able to still contact these guys.

I recently talked to him again about all of this. Explained my feelings around it not being equal, how it triggers my insecurities and lack of trust (trust is something we also have been working on with a therapist), and how I feel he has an upper hand or control always because of. I proposed this question: What's the difference between sexting a multitude of guys in your phone vs being out on hookup apps and chatting? And he felt like it was a huge difference. I really don't. To me it's all the same just on different platforms/mediums.

What do you all say? Is there a difference between sexting a multitude of guys in your phone vs being out on hookup apps and chatting with them? Should I be allowed to use apps if he is gonna be sexting guys all the time? How do others handle this in your relationships?

I’m 21 (M) and my boyfriend is 23 (M). We’ve been together since 2023 (almost 2 years now) and live in London. I love him a lot, but there’s one thing that’s been bothering me and is starting to make me question our future together.

We’re planning to move in together by the end of 2026, but we can’t agree on how to split expenses. He wants to do 50/50, even though he makes almost double what I do and has fewer expenses (he lives close to work, so no transport costs, while I would have those if we moved in together). I’ve tried explaining that a proportional split feels fairer, but he won’t accept it.

This has been an issue since we started dating. I’m always the one to bring it up, but he never initiates the conversation and shuts it down whenever I try to talk about it. It feels like he’s avoiding it, and that’s been really frustrating.

For me, a relationship only makes sense if we’re building a future together, including marriage. But if we can’t even agree on something as simple as how to split expenses, I’m not sure we’ll be able to move in together, and that makes me question our future marriage plans.

Has anyone been through something similar? Is it possible to work through this, especially when one person avoids the topic? Or is this a sign that our values might not align? I could really use some advice.

28 M with 30M and I’m at a loss. I realized relationships are give and take but I don’t know how much more I can give if I haven’t received anything. I’ve been stuck in limbo with my fiancé but he acts more like a boyfriend. His sex drive is at its highest and I’ve been working on bottoming and have been quite successful. He’s been waiting which I feel bad but he also isn’t much of a bottom and hasn’t even let me put it in all the way, while he has to me multiple times now. I’m also trying to get him to understand I’m down to do threesome and experience so much more with him while keeping my jealousy in control. (And we both know and agree it has gotten very subtle or non apparent) However, if I’m willing to do all this more like cook and clean and pay his bills too why does he blow up on me for asking him anything at all? Whether it be being more considerate when he’s talking to me, or justifying he doesn’t have to attempt to make me feel better because he doesn’t want to. I keep telling him it’s okay I can fix myself because I’m strong but I’m almost at my breaking point. His Sex drive feels like the only thing he offers to our relationship and even then that’s exhausting because I’m always satisfying him and he barely puts in the care to satisfy me. I get sex gets boring I don’t mind spicing it up, or exploring threesomes but you tarring me down because we’re learning together doesn’t help especially if you’re not going to try to fix me up. It feels like he justifies everything with his own needs and never even puts my needs up to par with his. What should I do? Am I being manipulated? I feel like if he ask if I want to be an open relationship and I say no he’s going to leave me, should I call it quits now, am I worth it?

Hi guys,

I’m (22) in very confusing situation that even I can not understand so decided to get your opinions. I met my bf (22) in Tinder 3.5 months ago, we got committed (or maybe just me) so fast, we stayed together a lot, spend days together and do activities which we have specific common interests. He invited me to dates, to meet and stay together and he always acting very caring towards me. He seems like very nice guy, always taking care, gives cuddles, kisses, talk about his day and friends which is very cute. In the second week we decided to delete apps from our phone which we said that we don’t need it any longer. And since day 1 we say each other good morning, good night.

Well, November was very challenging for me emotionally. We were meeting 1 max 2 days per week and when we meet he is super caring very nice but other days, some days normal some days very late replies, ghosting (even 24 hours) which I was just asking how he is or anything interesting? He replied me late some days, ghosted but I still keep contact, answer him and not ghosted him, already developed feelings for him. Then I saw him downloaded Tinder again in phone he told something wrong with app store bla bla.. (Ofc, I did not believe him) (It was 3^(rd) week we know eo)

I asked him relationship in our 1 month we met, then also observe he  has very weird actions, keeping phone away sometimes, some days very caring some days did not reply me at all saying he’s working and did not find even reply haha. He is following all his previous fuckbuddies in Instagram and never deleted it even today saying they are connections and he’s not interested in them sexually. He keeps all photos of him and exes in gallery of phone and tells it’s weird but they are just memories. And, I feel like he is lying a lot, but don’t know it. He travelled few times with his friends I don’t know if he cheated or not. He had hard times with his personal life and family which I supported him a lot emotionally and he really likes it and thankful for it. And he has friends which cheats and he thinks it’s okay, they have to maintain their needs but he never would cheat…

I love him, he also tells me a lot that he loves me and wants me in his life. We spend a lot of time together in december, january and now I'm away for 2 weeks, we are texting every day. He also try to act better when I told him these stuff, apology and acts me better. But this habits of him are so weird and make me feel I’m just temporary guy in his catalog and he’s always manipulating me for his needs and I believe cuz I love him. I feel like he can cheat on me every minute, after all these I can not trust even he don't do anything. Do you think all these actions are normal or I’m overreacting? I just wanna have normal relationship without weird stuff.

Hi I'm hena, I'm 29 year old I'm from india and I'm single I never did sex actually. But I want to do but the problem is I have fear if I did sex and my future hasband would know I did sex and would not give me respect and value and if he would not accepted me after knowing. However that's why I do not do sex.

Please comment if I'm wrong What sould I do.

Hey, I'm a gay man in a relationship of roughly 6 months. My BF lives in the US, and I live in the UK. We haven't seen each other in a month due to work relocations. We met yesterday, and I was expecting to watch a movie, chill, cuddle, and talk about what we get up to. Instead, we went straight to the bedroom... I at first said no and to stop, but he asked me if he did anything wrong and would sulk at the other end of the bed, and it would feel so sad, so (being a people pleaser) I did "the stuff." Was I guilt-tripped into this? Am I a bad person for making him sad? He wanted to meet again today after work. However, I made the excuse to work early tomorrow; it's all a lie. I don't have to go to work; I'm just scared. I want to have this conversation with him. Our communication is pretty good, and my brain is justifying it because we haven't seen each other in a month, and he has such a massive sex drive.

I have an ex (22M), and we were together for two and a half years. Almost two years ago, we broke up due to minor issues that built up over time. We lived together for almost a year, and for the most part, it was a good and stable relationship. We have remained friends to this day, and neither of us has started a new relationship yet. During the past holidays, we were talking like we always did and I ended up inviting him to spend New Year's in my city, which is about an hour away from his, he was happy with the invitation but declined because he said he was meeting someone and would probably spend it with him. In the middle of December I started talking to another guy again and he said he was going to spend New Year's alone because his family is from another state and he wouldn't be able to go there. He ended up spending New Year's here and we talked a lot during that time and spent a few days together and it was really good, we have a lot in common from tastes to future plans and we share a lot of past experiences (which is a bit funny). About two weeks ago my ex talked to me and said he saw the photo this guy posted and recognized my house and said he spent New Year's alone because he broke up with the guy he was meeting because of my invitation and said he wanted to give it another chance and now I don't know what to do, on one side there's someone I loved and still have feelings for and who I know likes me and on the other someone new with a lot in common that I can also see a future for.

(I know for sure that my ex spend New Year's alone and "broke up" with the guy two days before it)

Recently i became friends with one guy. He's really funny and handsome. We even went out 2 times like friends to chat and drink. I really fell in love with him. And he also texts me everyday and everything. BUT he gives off an impression of a fboy who wants to boom boom although he texts me and sometimes flirts. He even said that our time together is very entertaining (from his words he haven't felt like this for a long time).

Today he sends me a messege where he shows his new 'date\friend' like me. This intrigued me....

Can y'all give me advice please.... this is my first experience seeing a guy and when guy pays attention to me and everything. I'm 20 and have no experience whatsoever..... he js want to f me or what....

We are both from the same city but came here after passing exams in different unis. He's 24 and have a really impressive experience from his stories

I (30m) love my husband (26m). I love who he used to be. He spends all of his time on Tik Tok every chance he can he’s on it. He is worried about Donald Trump day and night. I understand his worry, the world is heavy and uncertain, but I also figured out years ago not to spend all my time letting the problems and the fascists of the world live rent free in my head. He gets mad when I’m not as upset as him about the laws being passed. It’s not because I don’t care I’m just tired of it all. Everything that happens we’re expected to be outraged and I just can’t. I want to enjoy my life and if I can’t do that then my rights aren’t worth shit anyways. He just wants to be left alone almost all the time, he brings up politics when I don’t want to, and it’s so obviously the source of his depression.

I hate the world we live in. I hate what social media has done to him, but he doesn’t think it’s a problem. We’re both fairly independent people who believe in autonomy so he believes he should be able to do what he wants. How do I reach him? How do I make it clear to him how much damage he’s doing to himself and the people around him? I’ve tried explaining it’s harmful and he just says all social media is why am I so against Tik Tok? It’s because I’ve watched it change people. Everyone heavily on it is just different now and it creeps me out a bit. And he’s right, all social media is bad. I wish it never existed.

Any advice is appreciated.

TLDR; Husband is on Tik Tok all the time, his personality has changed, and he hates Donald Trump more passionately than he loves anything else.

The reason why we are having this semi-open relationship in the first place was that 1. Me being young and being horny all the time, 2. He is not ready to bottom as I want him often to be (he did it for me sometimes when we started dating), so he wants me to explore around, at least I can top when I want when he is not ready for it. 3. This is my first and only relationship I have, again back to the conclusion in point 2 where he wants me to explore around when I am still young, dump and full of c**. 4. Last but not least and something that I am still ashamed of till this day is that I have cheated on him when we were still exclusive to each other, and he found out.

I heard from online a lot that open relationship will never work, but I am too damn horny sometimes that I get tired of pleasuring myself into my own hand. And my bf is one of a kind to me. He does not smoke, does not drink, does not go out a lot. To someone who prefer a quiet night in than going out on Friday night, he is perfect to me! After he found out I was cheated on him, we had a serious discussion and decided to try this open relationship.

At first, I was very excited and going full on, making regulars left and right, I was honest to where I was going but of course not discussing with him the detail of another person. But to a point he told me he was not happy and thinking I was going way too crazy about hooking up with others. This was where the semi-open relationship kicks in, we agree to play with others but not go full on and be honest before we arrange them.

I have started to go a bit easy because of this and it was going good first. We have been honest with each other about seeing others. He would go out and play with others and honestly, I am completely fine with it because he has some unique kinks that he is into which I am not, as long as he told me beforehand.

But when the situation reverses, and to be honest, I can feel his insecurity as he is always making funny comments after I came home, which makes me stop telling him beforehand at some point. But I have never played when he was still in the house at any given point.

My work can never allow me to play when I am working, so whenever I was on holiday (while he is at work) or he is out of town, I went back going crazy about hooking up with others. During one of my two-week holidays, the time interval between two hookups were less than or equal to 1 day and the weirdest thing is that it does not make me feel bad and it makes me feel so much relieve.

Fast forward to now, because my bf grew up in another state and flew over there more frequently due to his family business has been getting more and more intense recently... at least in his words. At first, I was looking forward to it. But the more he is out of town, the more I become suspicious of it. Then, I did another thing that I was not proud of - I went through his phone. And that makes me want to share my experience and ask for any suggestions on here as I do not have any friends (or maybe not anyone at all) who can understand my situation. Regardless, I think I should type this out to make me feel at least a bit better... hopefully...

Back to his phone... Because his phone was about to go to sleep on his nightstand, I was curious and pulled up his app switcher (swipe up on Apple home screen). Welp, out of curiosity, he messaged one guy saying he is going to the state this Thursday and staying till next Tuesday (Which he told me). I opened the full message, and they have started the conversation after Christmas last year and in that conversation, they have met and seem to have unprotected sex.

I did not confront him but rather, we had a serious conversation where I asked my bf "am I not attractive to you anymore?" I explained that we had sex all the time when we first met, and I am always finding him still attractive physically till this day. Also, I can feel that he becomes more cautious during sex after I cheated on him, like he would ask me to leave the room after he made me hard, which I guess I deserve it after how I treated him. We have not had proper sex in like years, sometimes he would top me but could not finish inside me. I even teasing him that if I am getting too old and you want to find someone younger (cause the encounter he met in that conversation claimed that he is a virgin), tell me, I would go.

However, we have talked a lot during that night, I told him that I don't think I can find anyone else better than him. We like each other company and he like us to do things together more, but it is hard as we are two different people besides the obvious: I am a night owl, and he is a morning bird.

Anyway, yet I have not mentioned a word about his secret encounter. Cause I love him a lot, but sex is definitely lacking for me. I don't want to end this 8-year relationship. What would I do next? Talk about the message I saw after he came back?

(Please forgive my gramma mistakes, any comments welcome, but please be nice, no judgements please... Thanks for reading!)

Hello! Just for context, I've been in a 3 year long relationship that has been successful pretty much without sex. Us not having sex worked out because my boyfriend's medication lowers his libido to almost nothing, and I had a traumatic sexual experience right before meeting him. Although recently, I've been getting back to my high libido self before the trauma as a result of all the work I've put in towards my mental health in general. As a result, I feel like my sexual needs aren't being met. We've already discussed it, and I've decided that I just need to see a therapist about re-navigating my sexuality in my relationshp + possible solutions for us.

All that being said, a friend I confided in told me they've seen long term relationships end because of mismatched libidos. That shocked me, because even though I feel like my sexual needs aren't being met, I would gladly give up sex if that meant we would spend the rest of our lives together.

So my question is: Is a mismatched libido really worth ending an otherwise very successful and very healthy relationship?

Also, I recognize the importance of sex in a relationship varies couple to couple, I'm just curious about others' personal experiences.

Thank you!

I have a serious issue where I can’t keep my emotions in check with my boyfriend because of the history between us. Sometimes I will be quiet and not even have the want to to speak to him. We lived together for years now and if you want to know the complete history you can look at my other posts asking about him.

Basically I know a lot more than I should. When we lived in our old house together before we had a major traumatizing breakup, I had a camera in my living room that revealed some conversations and feelings he was truly harboring. That was a long time ago and we got back together and tbings improved but I still feel like we’re reverting back to how we were all those years ago. Still a lot of sexual tension, I trust him but there are times when I have concerns that he playing me. I don’t feel like I’m a priority to him and I’ve already explained to him how I feel. But he never changes. After an argument, everything just goes right back to the same old crap. And even though I explained how I feel putting so much energy into the relationship (i literally pay for everything, staying in my apt, I work from home and he uses my car freely) he hasn’t changed much. It’s not even about the money bc he’s a student with no job so I can understand that. But even when it comes to us just chilling together he’ll be very quiet , play the game w his friend and get. Whole bunch of energy , and once he done, he’s going right back to being quiet. I’m finding it harder to talk to him because it seems like he can’t talk to me normally. It always has to be some stupid joke or comment not a regular convo.

I know I have my reasons to be concerned with his actions but I want to make sure I’m at least doing my part. How can I relax and get him to open up more ? Should we attend couples therapy since there’s seems to be a lot of inner turmoil from the breakup ? Should I just ask my doctor for Prozac to handle my anxiety? I was once on Prozac that seemed to help me a lot but affected my performance but I can’t help but stress. He’s all I have. He’s supposed to be my best friend and my boyfriend but I feel so alone sometimes. And my anxiety is so crazy I use emulators on my laptop to make sure he isn’t on Grindr or checking his twitter which he has no idea about including the videos I have of him. I didn’t to myself but I’m scared I don’t know how to conquer it. When he broke up w me he did so when I was in another state. He ended everything without explanation and behind my back planned to move in with his aunts. And he had that in the works for months without my knowledge. I was so hurt by that I went into a really deep runt where I couldn’t even go to work. Now that we’re back together I’m so scared he’s going to the same thing. When he goes quiet , I’m thinking he’s plotting against me. When he leaves out with MY car , I feel like I’m being used. My biggest fear is putting all this energy in the relationship to try again and he’ll just leave me again and I can’t take that pain again.

This is really only the surface , like I said there more in my other posts. There’s also other things that always make me feel like he has one foot out the door. When he goes out , he doesn’t text me. When I text him it would literally take him over an hour to respond even though his phone is always close by when I’m around. He uses his aunts address instead of mines for his primary even though he only visits like twice a month. He has his friends and what not on social media but not me. He takes pics with them but not me. If it wasn’t for me finding him using the emulator , I wouldn’t even know his profile. Am I just stupid. I’m 4 years older than this kid, got everything going for myself, and he’s the only person I’m bottom for in my entire life. I use to be a strict top socializing w the gay community. Now I just work and take care of us. I don’t even have any friends nearby and hard to make any at my age and virtual work environment. I just feel so empty and alone at times and I don’t know how to help it

This might be long and English in not my native language, so please be kind. Lately I’ve been thinking about my relationship with this guy, let’s call him “Luigi”, it’s been 3 years since we got together. I’ve met Luigi on Grindr 3 years ago and since the start things were not great: he catfished me, we talked for a few days and then he told me the truth, however I agreed to meet up (we live in different cities, about 2 hours by train). Everything goes smoothly, he is taken but he dumps his boyfriend and we get together pretty quickly. We meet each other’s families, we spend a lot of time together and do many many things, we (or maybe I) are happy. Every September we have a really heavy fight, but I think it might be normal? He cheated on his previous boyfriend, he likes to go out a lot and I’m the exact opposite, I do not have lots of friends and I prefer to stay home. After almost two years since we got together he confessed me that he has seen a guy without telling me, that he only wanted to clarify his feelings and bla bla bla, we fight and I forgive him (he said he didn’t cheat). A few months ago (3 years since we got together) we start to talk about the possibility to open the relationship, I’ve always been really jealous but the idea of being cheated starts to interest me (maybe as a sort of defensive mechanism, since I’ve never trusted Luigi much). Suddenly he confesses that he has, in fact, cheated on me, about 1 year after we got together, and he cheated on me with a guy that now is 19 that we are gonna call “David”. David is not a random guy, they had a complicated story, Luigi cheated on the previous boyfriend with David as well. He also confesses that the guy he had seen without telling me was David, and that they meet up to agree to not see each other anymore (after he cheated on me). We fight and bla bla bla BUT this also kinda turn me on (I’m fucked up I know). It’s all complicated now, somethings I feel good and a do love him, but I’m also so angry. We decided that we could open the relationship but only “online”, he does some things with 3 guys, including David and his ex boyfriend. I don’t do anything because everything I ask I feel like he is not okay with it (even if he says he is).

I’m starting to think that he still thinks about David, in fact yesterday Luigi was sad and then he told me that it was David’s birthday (he specified that he didn’t know why he was sad). On the other hand I do love him and he seems to love me, everything (our families and friend) tell us that we are a lovely couple, but I don’t know anymore… I’m also so afraid about dumping him, I’m so scared I’ll end up lonely, even though I know it’s not the best thing to think.

I’m happy with him but now the ghost of what he did is haunting me, and I don’t know if I can’t go on… So u think I should just end this relationship? Do you think is a toxic relationship? Please note that most of the time when we are together I’m happy, the problems often arrives when everyone is in their city and we can’t see for some days. There would be many things to add but I don’t know what else is so relevant to be written.

Hello everyone my name is Rafael 27M , Latino and yes openly gay. I’m in a relationship with my boyfriend 45M, Chinese business co-owner with his partner which he considers as family… and we have faced some issues along our year together, some have been resolved and some others have been dealt with in a fairly good manner. Now, my boyfriend isn’t out which means that we are somewhat restricted to do things in public, also he doesn’t pay rent as his business pays it, but few days ago his business partner came to stay with us and things have changed… The very same they his business partner arrived, my boyfriend ( let’s call him hereafter “Re”) doesn’t massage me much like to say good night-good morning, etc. few days after I learned that his business partner isn’t longer staying for few days but for a month now and its dealing with things that aren’t related to the business him and Re holds and it basically stressed me as I can’t longer get home and hug or talk with Re as I usually do. I told him that we need to find a place where his business doesn’t have any kind of influence on our personal life and he said there isn’t such thing as personal life to Chinese people, he said his business partner will ask him why will he need to rent a place separate if business is paying his rent ? I told him you don’t really need to respond just tell them you want your personal space. But he kept saying that isn’t easy because Chinese people don’t have personal space or private life when it comes to family etc. Now, I told him I don’t want he to come out to anyone as I would never want to force it, however I do need our relationship to do nothing with his business. We had a chat with a common friend and agreed that we will move together and he will tell his business partner that the new place is too small hence why he shall rent a Airbnb or hotel.

Now, was wrong to tell him that even if I don’t understand his culture or what you guys say…

Hey all

I'm a gay man that has been single since 23, my last date was when I was 25. To put that into perspective, I'm 33! My friends tell me I'm attractive and they're in shock as to why I'm always the single one. I was diagnosed with autism very late in life, just two years ago and I'm wondering if it's been me this whole time that's the issue.

I can come across cold and I don't always want to touch, I find my libido is always severely less than previous partners and I can't even do hookups, I feel like I have to feel some sort of emotional connection and something that is key for me is time, I don't like pressure at all.

I feel more and more defensive as time goes on when guys message me sexually, I think I've built up a wall, I don't feel anything and I feel like I often treat all men the same just predicting that sexual message and then lose interest. I feel so conflicted, like I want to date but it feels impossible.

Does anyone have any advice?

Hey, I've been on here before and for help preciously. Me and my partners relationship is great for the most part! I've just once again been kind of neesy when it comes to sex.

My love language is acts of serves a I tend to do things for him that make him happy, usually thats not that big of a problem until moments like these come around every month or so where I feeling needy. We were both bottoms when we started dating and had agreed to take turns to keep it even...but that never happened. I became the top and catered to all of his kinks (which isn't a problem I'm kinky myself so it works). The sex is great! But sooner or later I start feeling a bit unwanted sex wise. I always want the same thing I give him: the reasurance during sex, touching and admiring his body (foreplay) and milked dry when we have a night together.

When I asked in the past about it, it always resulted in the same answers either he would get visibly uncomfortable or he said it gave him anxiety and he had to build up to it (it's been 4 years), I even tried asking for the bare minimum "I get it, you don't have to fuck me but could you at least touch me? Tease me? Just make me feel wanted in the same ways I try with you?" But nothing. I stopped asking after a while because I felt like I was begging at some point and obviously that makes neither party comfortable.

Like I said when the sex is great it's great but I get tierd of being the Dom/top all the time it becomes draining and I'd just like some nights, it doesn't have to be all the time, where I can be the bottom or at least just the sub where I can also just enjoy the sex and feel wanted...

I'm not hoping for a solution, I know sex isn't everything so I'll probably try to just let it go again or try to talk to him with some kind of different approach. Either way I just wanted to vent, thank you for reading 🙏🏾