/r/wedding

Photograph via snooOG

A place for brides, grooms, friends, and family to discuss and share their wedding plans, ideas, and experiences.

Please read before posting:

  1. Posts should be wedding-related. Questions, informational posts, wedding pictures/highlights, and other related and substantive posts are all welcome. Attire posts should be posted in r/weddingattireapproval

  2. No self promotion. Self-promoting businesses is not allowed.

  3. Photos must have a caption! What made your wedding special or different? What would you do differently? If you're posting for opinions, what do you like/dislike about each option?

  4. Be nice! Constructive criticism and discussion is welcome! However, name-calling, harassment, and other inflammatory or disrespectful posts are not allowed. We will warn/ban as appropriate

  5. Help us by reporting! If you see something, say something! We need your help to keep this place clean

Thanks to /u/moviequote88 for our amazing bride and groom Snoo!

Related subreddits:

Other Wedding Subs

Dresses

Not to be confused with

Like using Facebook? Visit our friends at Wedding Planning 4 Reddit

/r/wedding

176,105 Subscribers

1

wedding hashtag help!!

his last name is Leech, mine is Perez! i’m open to all options! :)

2 Comments
2024/10/30
02:14 UTC

1

Signature Drinks Sign- Is it worth it?

It’s $15 for just the digital template/file to edit it on Canva. Is it worth it?

4 Comments
2024/10/30
01:58 UTC

2

Signature Drinks Sign Worth it?

It’s $15 for just the digital download template to edit with Canva. Worth $15?

12 Comments
2024/10/30
01:51 UTC

1

Do you give the same amount for a wedding gift if it’s local & free parking vs travel, hotel, rental car, parking, etc?

No right or wrong. Personally, we’ve always given the same amount. Actually we’ve tended to give more for weddings where we had to spend a lot to attend just based on relationship or what the friend group wanted to give as a group gift.

View Poll

1 Comment
2024/10/30
01:34 UTC

3

When the gender roles are reversed in the wedding party...

Hi! Not sure if this is the right subreddit to post this. If not, I apologize.

I am curious about the terminology in these cases...

So, traditionally, the bride will have bridesmaids and then the maid of honor. The groom will have groomsmen and the best man.

What are they called when the bride has a man instead as the bridesmaid, is he the man of honor? What is it called when the bride has other men instead of bridesmaids, are they bridesmen?

Additionally, what is it for the groom? Instead of the best man let's say the groom had a woman, would she be the best woman? woman of honor? What would the other groomsmen be called if they were female?

I know this is untraditional but it's likely what would happen at my wedding one day. I tried googling this but couldn't get a straight answer, or maybe I'm just dumb lol. Thanks for your help!!

7 Comments
2024/10/30
01:23 UTC

1

Help deciding on a venue

We are trying to decide on venues. We are comparing more traditional venues that stretch our budget, but would be at a hotel so convenient for guests, air conditioning, etc. The trade off is we wouldn’t be doing open bar, we would likely purchase 2 drink tickets per person. Then cash bar.

The other thing we are looking at is a more diy venue, with a great caterer, but there is no air conditioning (but big doors that open up to outside on both sides and ceiling fans). Not attached to hotel, so guests would have to Uber/cab/car pool, drive etc. However we could do open bar.

If you were a guest, what would you value more? Convenience and air conditioning or less convenient but open bar? They are both in Ottawa and the nearest hotel is 7 minutes from the venue that isn’t at a hotel. Thanks!

Edit to add: a majority of guests will be from out of town

4 Comments
2024/10/30
00:58 UTC

1

Last Name Regrets?

I've been excited to change my last name- the new name sounds great, and it represents my culture better than my maiden name- plus, love and unity and all that- but now that it's actually approaching I'm getting cold feet, like I might be losing part of my identity.

People with similar feelings, did they fade with time? Do you regret changing it? Not changing it?

6 Comments
2024/10/30
00:46 UTC

0

Dress shopping - feeling overwhelmed by options and second guessing myself 😥

So I think I’ve found my dress, it’s within my budget and I really do love it, but the more I “shop around” online the more I am starting to second guess my choice. I need to order it soon to make sure I have it on time, but I’m worried I won’t like it come wedding time.

I feel like every day I change my mind and think I can find something better, but I really do love the one I picked. Anyone else feel like this? 😭😭

5 Comments
2024/10/30
00:35 UTC

227

Florist Disappeared on Our Wedding Day.

We hired our florist J. Francis Florals back in April this year, for our wedding on October 12, 2024.

After multiple planning emails and phone calls with Jay-ar, we were beyond excited to see his work and to see our vision come to life.

The day before Jay-ar confirmed he’d be there at 11:00am to deliver the flowers, and assemble the arrangements for our arch, pedestals, welcome sign, and bouquets.

The day of, he disappeared. We emailed, no response. We called, no answer. We only had a few hours before our first look and the ceremony began. Thankfully, my mother-in-law had an abundance of flowers from the rehearsal that we repurposed, and our coordinator quickly found someone to go buy some greenery.

A variety of issues arose as a result of Jay-ar’s absence. Our coordinator got behind on the decor, barely getting it completed on time. We couldn’t get the photos we wanted with the archway pre-ceremony because it was still being decorated (by my uncle and a friend). My godmother couldn’t get me dressed in the gown she bought me because she was too busy building bouquets. And my mom was so stressed running around, she barely had time to get ready and forgot the wedding rings. She sadly missed our ceremony to go retrieve the rings from her room.

When we hired Jay-ar, he was a small business out of Los Angeles, working to expand. We only ever spoke with him directly. Now, very quickly, his business has expanded to Chicago, SF, NY and worldwide. He also apparently is an interior designer and artist.

Since the wedding (2 weeks ago), we have only been in communication with the Director of Operations and have yet to hear from Jay-ar personally (we were told after multiple requests to speak with him, that he was on a family emergency).

We have thankfully gotten our money back. And we are writing honest reviews.

I mostly just wanted to share our experience with Jay-ar, as we don’t want anyone else Is going through the same thing. Is there something else we can do? What do you think?

31 Comments
2024/10/29
21:54 UTC

3

Fantasy Wedding

My fiance and I just got engaged and couldn't be more excited! Long story short, we already know what kind of theme we'd like to have, being woodland fantasy. We'd love to incorporate our favorite fantasy themed video games, movies and books and are kind of running into a brick wall of what we could do as references.. (either decor, foods, beverages (N/A OR ALC.) or even wedding favors)

To give a rough list of our favorites:

The Witcher, LOTR, Skyrim, DnD, Elden Ring, World of Warcraft, Warhammer, Harry Potter, Valheim, Baldur's Gate, ACOTAR Series,

All we've thought of so far is gelatinous cube jello shots. So if you have any ideas to share, please do! Thank you !!

4 Comments
2024/10/29
20:53 UTC

0

Hyphenating?

Those of you that hyphenated your last name, tell me the good, bad, and ugly? Are you happy with your decision, would you do it the same way again?

4 Comments
2024/10/29
19:54 UTC

0

Wedding Gift Question

I am getting mixed results from searching so I am hoping someone here might be able to give me more clarity. My husband and I are attending a friend's wedding soon and he is a groomsman and is officiating. When they asked him to officiate, they said that they would love him to marry them and that it would save them from having to pay for someone to do it.

We had another wedding a few months ago where I was a bridesmaid, I baked the cake, I took photos, I videotaped the ceremony (and edited the footage), and my husband officiated (this was his first time ever he doesn't do this as a side gig though this post is making it sound like he does lol). We didn't give that couple a wedding gift since we saved them a lot of money with everything we did and we paid for all the cake supplies and officiant fees and such. But we did give them a card with our well wishes and did get them a gift for the bridal shower.

I was going to take the same approach with this upcoming wedding by paying for the officiant registration fees (the weddings are in two different states) and calling it a day, but they are having it at a very fancy venue (I wouldn't doubt if it is $200 per plate). We did already send them a bridal shower gift, but should we also plan to bring a check for the wedding? And if so, how much would be appropriate?

11 Comments
2024/10/29
19:28 UTC

2

Wedding exceptiom for nephews and nieces since brother will otherwise not attend

Sine I got a lot of responses in my previous post I am now more willing to make an exception for my brother and his children...

But I am still conflicted but lets have a poll about that

View Poll

23 Comments
2024/10/29
19:07 UTC

398

Mourning my last name a bit

I've made my maiden name a middle name so I haven't let go of it forever. But my work email and the staff directory were just updated to reflect my married name. I'm very excited to have my husband's last name, don't get me wrong. But I feel a little sad. I feel like a big piece of my identity is missing. I know it's not really gone and that I'll get used to it but did anyone have a similar experience?

And before anyone comes at this like "women taking men's last names is a stupid tradition and so patriarchal and clearly you shouldn't have done that if it makes you sad" I'd just like to remind yall that feminism is supporting women in whatever choice they make for themselves because that is what makes an independent woman. I support your decision to keep your name, hyphenate your name, make up a new name, or take your partner's name, etc. etc. All are empowering choices!

264 Comments
2024/10/29
17:31 UTC

0

Do people read the wedding website?

We were not planning to do anything digital. At least 3 people in our circles who are already married did have a website for their own weddings with online registries and rsvps that both went untouched. Not everyone is comfortable using QR codes either regardless of age. They said that because no one read them, they would not have one at all if they were to do it again. Especially since many of our guests overlap theirs.

Plus one couple mentioned a digital only fiasco they experienced as guests where the couple had digital invitations backfire badly and only a small handful of guests (10% at most) out of 200 showed up while waiting for paper invitations because the digital came across as save the dates.

40 Comments
2024/10/29
16:58 UTC

21

Can't be the Only One!

Married 6.8.24, looking back through our photos and reminiscing on the day has me teary eyed 🥹 maybe it's because my spouse is deployed rn, but it's just so wonderful looking back at our special summer 😭

I hope other brides can find the most magical and memorable parts of their day and think fondly of it all, even if things didn't go as planned ❤️ it might be easy for me to say this since things went about 95% the way they should at our wedding, but in the end what matters most is becoming whole/one with the person you love most in this world! I hope you're able to keep that in mind, fellow brides 💞 (if you're struggling, feel free to vent below)

5 Comments
2024/10/29
16:53 UTC

0

4/7 bridesmaids didn’t give a gift

I know this has been brought up before but I hope it’s ok if I make a post about it.

4 out of 7 of my bridesmaids didn’t give us a gift or even a card. 2 of the girls who did give a gift are my sisters in law so they were prompted by their mom. I’m feeling hurt and confused. I know cards aren’t popular in the millennial crowd, but I would’ve thought maybe they’d give a card since they didn’t give a gift. Even a very small gift.

Several of my other friends also didn’t give anything, and while I can let that go I’m sad about my closest friends giving nothing. I’m wondering if any of you have ever expressed sadness about this to your bridesmaids? I am genuinely curious what their reasoning might be and I want to understand. I’m not mad at them, just confused.

49 Comments
2024/10/29
16:20 UTC

19

The dichotomy between my parents and his

Me (30F) talking to my mom about wedding plans:

Me: “We don’t really want a traditional Ceremony TM with vows and stuff, we think that’s kind of cheesy and not our style”

Mom: “That’s fine! So don’t!”

Me: “We might just get it done legally and then have a big party afterwards”

Mom: “Yeah! Your cousin did that, no one minded”

Me: “Also is it bad that I don’t want Uncle Dave’s girlfriend’s manic mother to come (since they’ve been bringing this random woman to all of our holiday events for the last few years and she’s Very Annoying)?”

Mom: “NOT AT ALL, it’s your wedding, not his, he can cope”

Versus

Fiancé’s dad: “So, how are the wedding plans going?”

Me: “We’re thinking of getting it done legally and then just having a big party afterwards!”

Him: “Hmmmmmm >:( …..I think a lot of people want to see you get married and experience that, and witness a traditional ceremony because blah blah blah”

I’m an only child and my parents don’t care what we do for OUR wedding; fiancé’s dad has two other kids that can get married if a traditional (cough catholic cough) ceremony means that much to him 🙄

Also he keeps hinting that my parents should host this entire thing in their backyard bc they “have a big property” uggggh

14 Comments
2024/10/29
15:28 UTC

1

Wedding Food

What's the best or most memorable wedding food you ever had? Fun food trucks, Venetian hour or fusion food? Please share as I'm looking for inspiration

23 Comments
2024/10/29
15:26 UTC

0

Help! We still need a first dance song!!

The ideal vibe is 2000s r&b or instrumentals of pop songs. We don't really love country.

My fiancé has an old soul, like 112, boyz II men kinda vibes but I enjoy more current music like post malone, juice wrld, etc. Anyone have song recs for somewhere in the middle?!

What song are you guys dancing to for your special moment??

31 Comments
2024/10/29
15:20 UTC

0

Name change when moving states (GA --> ME)

Hi all! Just ~*graduated*~ this weekend...best day ever! I'm changing my name but my husband and I are also moving to another state in about 3.5 weeks. Will I have any trouble jumping to a name change in the new state (Maine) if my marriage license and ID are from the old state (Georgia)? I would ideally change everything in Georgia first but truly not sure I'll have enough time to do that if the marriage license won't arrive for 2+ weeks... thank you!

7 Comments
2024/10/29
14:35 UTC

0

AITA for having a child free wedding without exceptions?

58 Comments
2024/10/29
14:22 UTC

2

Amazon Wedding Registry

Hi Everyone,

I am a guest at an upcoming wedding (I say upcoming, it is a few months away). I received their wedding registry from Amazon. I wanted to see if anyone knows when Amazon ships the items to the couple. Do they send the item as soon as it is purchased from the registry? Or does it wait and send it at a specified date (ex. Wedding shower, week of wedding, etc.)

I want to get on top of buying their gifts so I don’t forget. Life is too hectic nowadays.

Thanks so much, congratulations to all the couples here, & have a great day!!

5 Comments
2024/10/29
14:11 UTC

0

Raining wedding

We have our wedding coming up. and out of all the days it’s saying it’s going to rain on the wedding day. Anyone had this happen to them. If so. Got any advice I can give to my fiance to calm her down a bit about it. She’s super stressed out about it now.

11 Comments
2024/10/29
13:10 UTC

69

How to (almost) politely drop out of being a bridesmaid?

So to make a long story short, I'm in a close family friends wedding as a bridesmaid who is getting married in December of 2025. I have recently found out through the grapevine that the bride and the maid of honor have been saying things about me the other girls about the way I act, dress, and my dating history, essentially slut shaming me (which confuses me, because I've been in a committed relationship for three years and yes, I dont dress conservatively, but the bride is picking the bridesmaids dresses, so im unaware how that's an issue) Basically, I don't want to be in the bridal party anymore. We're in our 30's and that behavior just isn't for me. The problem I'm having is going about it in a way that leaves the least amount of damage possible for all the mutual friends and family members we have attending for a wedding. I still have no problem attending the wedding as a guest instead, I'd just rather not be noted as an "important person". Any suggestions or anyone who's had to do something similar before would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!

83 Comments
2024/10/29
12:59 UTC

63

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t

Watching my sisters wedding planning going and it just seems like a double edge sword. If you cater towards what the couple wants/ can afford it seems like it’s too selfish and you aren’t hosting properly, if you cater towards the guests then you go into incredible debt, if she elopes or doesn’t invite extended family then she’s dismissive and it’s an insult to family and there can be irrevocable damage to otherwise decent family relations. With family spanning the country too it then makes it a weird host job where- while the wedding is local to them it’s a destination to half the guests and you “have” to acknowledge how much the guests might spent to be able to attend and be gracious enough to host them properly.

So either you host the wedding for the guests and spend close to 20k in a cost of living crisis or you host a smaller / cheaper option where people either spend more to come then you spent to host them, or they don’t come at all (sometimes ideal) / don’t get invited and they get pissy and it changes the relationship going forward.

And it’s not as if it’s just the older generation either, it’s everyone seems to expect a certain experience if they have to attend a wedding. The stress of wedding planning is ridiculous and im not even the one planning!

45 Comments
2024/10/29
12:51 UTC

50

Child free wedding

Hey everyone so the situation is we are having a child free wedding but when telling people one couple have already said that it's fine for the ceremony but they will be bringing their kids (2 of them) to the reception, not asking is it okay told us they will be doing this. How to I go about this situation?

65 Comments
2024/10/29
12:32 UTC

5

Our Dirty Dancing Wedding First Dance (with Perfect Lift!)

We wanted to share a bit about our wedding dance journey, especially for those who don't normally dance but are looking to add something memorable to their day!

Our Dirty Dancing Wedding First Dance with Perfect Lift

It all started when my then-fiance suggested we try the Dirty Dancing lift...in our tiny living room. Although I was terrified of heights, the movie held a special place in my heart, and we thought it would be a meaningful challenge to tackle together (on top of wedding planning and working full time jobs.)

We worked with a dance coach over several months, practicing week after week. My partner, as the lead, kept us on beat, practiced his solo parts, lifted and caught me countless times, no matter how wobbly my spins were! To get more comfortable with performing, we even practiced in random public spaces – which helped with stage fright and my shyness.

After so much practice, we managed to pull it off! By the end, we had the final lift down to where it looked almost effortless*.*

6 Comments
2024/10/29
12:07 UTC

1

Timeline for a wedding video sneak peek?

Hi all, our wedding package included a sneak peek for our video. It has been 9 weeks and we have not heard from our videographer. Is this normal? There was no set timeline for the sneak peak, but I figured we would get it within a few weeks.

3 Comments
2024/10/29
12:02 UTC

25

No Shows

Feeling more than a bit annoyed by no shows. We got married on 10/25, we had at least 10 people that RSVPd they were attending, not come. Out of those only two guests, let us know they wouldn’t be showing up. The others just didn’t show up and still haven’t reached out. The petty side of me wants to make a social media post about it, not directly naming anyone but still. I probably won’t but just annoying because the number consists of whole families that took time to message me about how many would be coming!!! There honestly was probably more than 10 people. We had like whole trays of food left over for catering 😭

39 Comments
2024/10/29
11:46 UTC

Back To Top