I experience this as an INTJ a lot so was wondering if it was the same for our Fi child counterparts. I don't readily give out compliments, affirmations, etc and am typically not excitable when talking to people. This tendency makes people doubt if I like them or not. I typically hear "I'll stop bothering you" after talking with someone. But did I say they were bothering me? No. I give these people full eye contact and my body language communicates that I'm open to talking and it still doesn't help.

Just because I don't fluff people up doesn't mean I don't like them. I show someone I like them by listening to them, trying to uphold a conversation with them (although that's difficult for me sometimes), and doing stuff for them.

Can you relate?

Ik y'all prob hate us💀🙏

my guess is abstract information.

Intj here.. I'd like to know how s types think. Why you do the things you do, reasoning behind them, What you do to relax (especially isxx types) I thought I'd come here because of xxtj traits. Asking because that's the trait I understand the Least.. also. Me / my partner are living with an S type & it would be nice if there was some way to figure them out..

Hello I'm ENTP. I'm wondering what Si means to you?

Thank you

10 years ago, I did a STEM degree that has put food on the table (and then some) until today.

I am now in the incredibly fortunate position to go back to school part-time for my real passion (not traditionally lucrative), and I am finally taking the plunge.

I used to be a straight-A perfectionist and was very unhealthy the first time I went to college. I know I am capable of burning myself out. I hope this time can be different.

My day job is remote and flexible, and usually not very stressful. I plan to do my coursework (fully online and asynchronous, so I have mostly-full schedule control) in the late afternoons/evenings. But I have trouble letting go of something that isn't 'done' when I otherwise try to time box.

What advice do fellow ISTJs have for someone adding a new (but wanted/positive) stressor to their life?

How do you take breaks and keep a balance?

I’ve been typed as ISTJ consistently for 5 years now. If this is relevant, I am a woman ISTJ. I was diagnosed with ADHD in summer 2023 and Asperger’s in 2005 (sometimes I have my doubts though). Growing up, I had a very rocky social life and went to a jail-like school which I think is the primary cause behind my wariness for unjust rules.

I do think rules help, let others know their freedoms, and are very beneficial to stability. So yes, I do see rules as a good thing but I don’t think they must be used to target vulnerabilities in the systems. I am very resistant to change and like seeing things as they were and as they are. I remember the most random details (sensory and some visual ones) very well without any effort. It scares people away and I don’t care weirdly enough, that’s just how I was since I developed my memory. However, I often struggle with forcing myself to memorize stuff instead of the natural way.

I do rely extensively on external facts that have been proved thoroughly and I am not a feel-y type of person when it comes to collectivity, academics (I don’t really like humanities because of the emphasis on feelings and stuff, something I’m not a pro at), and social stuff. My Te manifests in my strong preference for facts and proven analysis over feelings and harmony. However, I do think my Fi has been getting too strong relative to my age (turning 23 in spring). I usually am indifferent to various matters and usually have no opinion on many things. However, if by any chance, I really give a damn about something, I can get very intense and sometimes aggressive (I can provide an example if you want). I gain a maximum of data and proof I can use in the thing’s favor to prove the opponents (if any) wrong. Also, I wouldn’t call my Fi ridiculously strong but more so selectively strong to be clear.

Also, any other 8w9 ISTJs here? I am a very steady 8w9 but I definitely don’t think it’s an impossible combination. Furthermore, please don’t forget my title/question.

its just so fun and interesting to talk with ISTJs imo- Opposites attract ig :)

hope ur all having a good day/night and if not I hope it'll get better for you soon! GBAI

Okay, so I am not in a good phase at my life rn. Things are not working out, there's a lot of anxiety, a bit of depression (not serious, just low/bad mood mostly) and what not. A big festival (diwali) coming up and I am away from family for the 3rd year straight. This year i planned to come home but things didn't go as planned. Idk feeling lonely too, as my friends are not here, and I have no one.

I was so frustrated a few days back. I noticed my room was a mess, my sleep schedule was also not good, also was irregular with my work too, lacking productivity and structure. I decided to clean all that up.

Cleaned up the whole room before sleep. Setted up alarms for the morning. Made goals and schedule for work and following it all rigorously for the past few days and it's helping.

I realised that things being out of order fucks up with my mind a lot and adds up and encourage the chaos in my mind too, because of my career/studies anxiety.

Following a schedule and setting up goals, keeping up my place tidy and organized helped a lot.

But yeah I was still struggling a bit with loneliness a bit, and music came to help. Been blasting music loud on a speaker in my room and it's helping to keep my mind engage.

That's what worked for me. What things work for you all?

There’s a story I’m creating one of the themes is self discovery although Mbti won’t be mentioned it is used as inspiration for world building.

16 lands(each one representing a type) and 8 functions as powers. It’s kinda like Hunter x Hunter where there are 6 types of aura that is their power system. How they use it is completely based on the person.

For Si users I’ve come up with they can use past experiences. Such as being able to bring up something like a weapon or a skill to the present moment. If they were being attacked they can go back to a spot they were previously to avoid it. (Ex. Reverse injuries, memory/skill recall, Past illusion)

Passive- I wasn’t sure if the passive should be detailed memory/controlled stress responses but someone said Stamine suited Si better idk

Someone told me that wasn’t right with Si it’s not only past experiences and I’m having trouble trying to find the best way to express Si accurately while also making it an ability. Also functions can counter each other such as Si vs Se how would that look like? What ideas do you have?

Also only leaders can are able to use four functions normally civilians can only use 1. Although down the stack it’s less strong and if they’re in distress such as in despair or in danger they go through looping with their first and third function making it a toxic power. How would you use your functions?

Hey, I realised I have feelings for a long-term online friend of mine. I feel something I've never felt with anyone else, we click on so many levels. She's ISTJ-T and we're roughly the same age (in our 20s). I am a ENTJ-A. I've been doing lots of reading into understanding our compatibility and communication styles, and a lot of things do check out and have been helping to reassure me in navigating this. Shout out to this in particular.

What I'm struggling with is trying to figure out how exactly to convey my feelings and how to bring us closer romantically. We've talked and shared on things both non-intimate and intimate which makes me believe there is the potential for something there. We talk super frequently and she shares a lot of details of her life with me. However, an (potentially) online relationship where we've never met in person (we do live in the same country with not a huge amount of distance between us) is very unfamiliar territory to me and I don't know how exactly to navigate it. We used to spend time playing games together more often in the past but that's before and during when she was in uni. It's harder to arrange things now as her current job is intensive and busy and she's often super tired and wants to spend time by herself to unwind. I tried suggesting things like a movie night or playing games; she's not terribly keen on co op stuff but I'm not either anyway. I don't think she's avoiding spending time with me, she just is genuinely tired or prefers alone time. At least this is what I gather from talking to her and looking at the resources on this.

But in that case I am just utterly stumped over how I can move things along and get the romantic spark going. I gather that what she would want is a solid, long term connection that's worth both the investment and the risk of affecting the current friendship (ie a soulmate). I don't think she likes outright proposals of love, having told me her ire of dealing with crap like that from random online people in the past (and it seems like ISTJs aren't fans of that anyway) so that's off the table (not my style anyway lol). I'm just wondering if anyone might have any experience or ideas on this?

By the way, I'm not asking wether I can or should do it. Yes, I'm aware it's not in my main cognitive function stack.

If an ISTJ consistently sat away from the group when they visited, why would they do this? I’m asking this as a super introverted INTJ who would do this with strangers and acquaintances, but not family. I’ve always let it be figuring they are simply more comfortable there. ISTJ came from out of town and there was a brunch. After eating we were all sitting around chatting. It’s all family. This isn’t the first time. We don’t visit often, but every time we visit, they do this. We sit as a group and they sit elsewhere. Also, they will complain to my husband that people don’t talk to them, but will also not take initiative to talk to anyone. Also, it isn’t true that no one talks to them. They simply aren’t at very responsive when they do. It just seems like they expect certain interactions and don’t respond because it’s not the right type of interaction. When I sit away from people I just feel more comfortable that way and I’m definitely not complaining that no one talks to me. I just find it all strange and don’t understand what they want. I don’t understand why a fully capable adult on one hand complains about lack of interaction and yet makes no move to interact or gives the briefest of responses. It seems they only visit to fulfill an obligation they have. I’ve often thought they are always like this, but we’ve heard others go on and on about ISTJ. So they must see someone totally different. I get blunt and cold. I mean, I’m an INTJ so I hear it and my mother was very direct and blunt.

I've been listening to music while I work for the past few days, so I expected to today as well. Realizing I forgot them immediately broke my plan (to simply listen to music while I work) so I just kinda slogged through the day.

Honestly didn't think it would be that big of a deal but wow I could not focus.

I’m curious how many of you are neurodivergent or suspect you may be?? New to this thread (recently diagnosed autistic and ADHD) and I see a lot of similarities to myself (obviously cause we’re all the same personality type lol) but some autistic tendencies particularly so I was just curious what everyone’s status is!

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*I'm talking about understanding feelings

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Im competing with some guy at work who I’m acquainted with. And I’m also competing with my entire group of fellow trainees. It’s all one sided, because work is basically one of my only purposes in life. I work a pretty physical job and I’m struggling with patellofemoral pain(runners knee) and plantar fasciitis (knee pain) and my stats have definitely taken a hit. Today, the other guys had better numbers than me and I feel terrible. They weren’t even trying to compete or anything. So now I feel like a complete and utter failure, even though I was at a disadvantage due to my injuries.

It’s not just work related, but it’s with everything. With school, spending habits, study habits, everything is a competition. Which is one reason why I loved sports. But when I’m losing, I keep self hating. How do I fix this from an ISTJ perspective?

I'm a firm believer that mbti is purely how your brain perceives information and how it acts on said information, almost nothing to do with actual personality itself.

That being said, drives me insane to see what people consider ISTJs in modern media.

So... title.

If anyone else is a big one piece fan, I think Bartholomew Kuma is the best representation, both symbolically and in the way he acts, of ISTJ that i've ever seen depicted in media. He's like the quintessential ISTJ.

Curious other people's thoughts.

Is it just me? it annoys me when I'm messaging someone and we can't seem to have a continuous conversation. I'll be like, message me when you are readily available to have a conversation, rather than replying sporadically. I appreciate having their full attention rather than just a bit of it sprinkled all over.

So last night I was talking to my best friend and finally walked him through the MBTI test. Found out he is an ISTJ...cool, wait what. We average 4-6 hours phone calls 3-4 times a week and it feels like 5 minutes. I also challenge him to change more than anyone and he does the same for me hands down. I was married to an ISFJ and that was ok till it wasn't so I was looking for someone different than her and just like me thinking it would be better than that, but now in light of the positive growth my friend and I share makes me think again. Perhaps there is benefit in being specifically opposite your type to work best?!? I mean I know Paula Abdul made it common thought but now I wonder about it all the more. We'll see if the Universe provides an opportunity. I'm curious to hear your experiences where you are aware of this in couples but especially those legitimately tested as opposites.

i had an istj as my bestfriend for a while and it was pretty chill. Just wanna know what you guys think of us. Honestly the friendship was a wierd dynamic and idk if i couldve done it if we werent smoking weed or drinking everytime we met up which was almost everyday lol. Icl the lack of intuition did my head in, and the need to lie when things dont look right also. he was unhealthy istj btw

21M, just finished college this year, been miserable ever since, bed rotting, social withdrawal and isolation, emotionally distant even with family and close friends, no motivation for workout and studying, repeating the self destructive pattern all over again.

It’s hard to break through your shell, all I know is when you agree with me. But it’s so hit-and-miss.

Hi everyone, I think I'm burning out and I need advice. I work as a service manager and I manage around 20 people. I WFH since the start of the job (February 2021), I love my job and I get along with both my team and my boss. My problem is that I'm not able to take a break: I start working, then there's a call, then there's an emergency, then someone from the team needs a hand AND there's another emergency, and so on. So, I often work 9/10 hours straight without even noticing it. I tried setting alarms on my phone but I just postpone / ignore them, since I'm always in the middle of something. After three and half years I think I'm burning out. I'm exhausted and the weekends don't recharge me anymore. Any advice from other ISTJs? How can I take a break?

Thanks in advance guys and gals :)

I'm an INFJ female and my best friend is an ISTJ male. We have been friends since the beginning of the university. We're both in our early twenties.

Over the years, we have become very close to each other. I have never been able to connect so deeply with anyone before, even though we are different in many ways. However, our values, worldviews and way of thinking are very similar in many ways, and in our differences we complement each other very well. We talked about that we're really like each other's soulmates. Our friendship was balanced, if we had conflicts, it was usually because of the difference in the way we communicated and because of the fact that he isn't too good at showing and expressing his emotions. But we were always able to discuss these with each other.
There were signs that maybe he feels more about me, than friendhsip, but he hides his feelings so well that I can't tell specifically, even though I'm good at that sort of thing. But several of my friends are of the opinion that our relationship goes beyond friendship.

A month ago, without any explanation, he walked out of my life. He's avoiding me at the university and not answering my messages. I don't understand why he behaves like this, it's never happened before. I thought about it a lot because there was no premonition: we had no conflict, we had talked on the phone for hours the day before, we were planning our next semester. But I know him well enough to know that he doesn't make any decision without careful consideration, so there's probably a deeper reason behind this behaviour.

I don't know what I should do. I don't want to upset him because I know that it would probably make things worse. I'm trying to give him some space and time, but it's very difficult because I don't know why he behaves like this. Maybe a person of the same type can give me some more specific information on the background to this and what he feels now, because I unfortunately feel lost at the moment. I'm very sad and miss him so much, I don't want to lose him. :(

(Sorry for my possible grammar mistakes, I'm not fluent in English)