Can you be ace because of practical reasons? I am an older virgin and I don't have any insecurities about that. I'm also very determined to stay a virgin. I might be open to true love, but I'm rather doubtful of that prospect. The argument I've ever gotten in engaging in casual sex is pleasure. That doesn't outweigh negative outcomes that are very real: Pregnancy, STDs, trauma to the dody, being tied to an abusive asshole, ugly custody battles, plus an overpopulated world with declining resources. I have been asked if I have a type and I will admit I do not. I have looked at porn and just been grossed out, but maybe it is because it is not love or genuine pleasure. Just a parody. Or just looking at a lot of unappealing people (and a number of porn actors are purposely made to look so young it is just plain creepy). I'm more concerned with personal goals that don't have anything to do with relationships. The likelihood of being in a long-lasting loving relationship is pretty low. I lot of people get married and can't even make it through two years. If love is meant to be, I am certain I will know it. If it doesn't come, I doubt I will be regretful of it. I rather pursue personal goals and work and make adventures for myself and protect my body. Am I really ace or just a little too practical? Or maybe I'm just very jaded and gaurd my heart too much?

after being in a talking stage with an online friend of mine for a couple of weeks i’ve realised that i only really experience sexual attraction as a form of validation and intimacy for someone i’m already close to as opposed to an actual physical urge when i see people.

for separate reasons i’ve realised that our talking stage isn’t going to work out but now i have this romantic frustration that i cant really shake. however, knowing how sex-forward the allo dating scene is and how i dont experience sexual attraction until i know the person really well, i feel like all the usual avenues to have fun and date like that is closed off to me, like going out or signing up for dating apps.

is there anything that i can do or should i just continue waiting until another compatible friend comes along?

hi! well i’ve been questioning my identity lately. it’s genuinely not a big deal but i recently realized i don’t feel attraction like how most other people do, so i’m just curious if i’m actually asexual? i’ve been saying i’m demisexual for a few years and i think the label fits me but now i’m not so sure.

so one thing i know for certain, i have never felt sexual attraction towards anyone i didn’t already have a strong bond with. so that’s essentially demisexuality. but now i’m realizing… maybe i just don’t feel sexual attraction at all? i have a wonderful boyfriend i’ve been with for half a year now and we get along great. i’m on testosterone so my libido has been through the roof for the past 5 years. jerking off is basically a hobby of mine and i love having sex with my boyfriend. i love the intimacy of it all and i do get horny and all that and of course i love him. and i want to have sex with him specifically. but, visually, i just don’t feel anything. when he sends me nudes and stuff i feel nothing. i do think he’s sexy and i love him dearly but there’s just Nothing and i feel really bad about that.

it feels like there’s some kind of detachment in that aspect, even in the romantic way too sometimes; i just feel weird about everything. can this maybe be related to me being autistic? i know there’s a lot of overlap. i really hope any of this makes sense LOL. thanks for any advice!

I'm starting to get back into the dating scene and this is something that I'm self-conscious about where with previous partners I had no issues getting in the mood while being stimulated with foreplay but then when we start to take action I very quickly find it difficult to maintain my erection which usually ruins the mood.

I've been considering taking substances but concerned about the potential side effects of short or long term use. What other suggestions or compromises can I discuss with potential partners going forward?

i don’t like the idea of having sex. well i do, i watch porn, masturbate etc but thinking about actually having sex is something that isn’t desirable to me. i want to be in a relationship and have intimacy like kissing, cuddling, and even other sexual acts like oral just not sex. what is this called and is this normal

so, sexual attraction is defined as [basically] seeing someone and having the urge to have physical relations with them. when I look at someone attractive I can go like 'woah' or feel warm in the face, but I never really think about or want to have relations w them besides romantic.

even then I both imagine and want to have adult funtime, but I've never looked at someone and thought about having or wanting to do it with them with them. it's confusing arrrrrg, am I being dumb?

As the title states, I am currently very lost and very confused about my sexuality. For awhile I considered I might be bisexual, as I felt a bit of attraction towards women as well as men. But one thing has always been abundantly clear to me - I hate sex and anything sex related. I hate talking about it with people, I hate when people around me talk about it, I hate participating in sexual acts. I haven’t done much sexually with partners, but when I have I always feel uncomfortable and like I’m doing it for their pleasure instead of mine. I have never felt pleasure in any way when I was with someone, though I’m not sure if this is because they were not good partners or if I just can’t have any drive or attraction. Etheir way, I have grown to hate anything sexual and feel very uncomfortable with it. Yes, I do masturbate occasionally, but it’s a quick process to relieve stress for me, it’s not pleasure in my mind. I tend to tune out on the occasions when I do so I don’t have to think about it at all when I’m done. I’m so confused about whether or not I’m on the Ace spectrum or where to go from here. I want to marry and have a kid one day, but I can’t fathom the thought of having to have sex with someone to achieve it. My private areas are just that, private, and I don’t want to share them with anyone. I’m afraid I will never find a partner who understands this or I will be taken advantage of for the sake of making someone else happy. I’m so scared and lost. I just need support and help to figure out what’s going on.

i am in college, and i met this person that i really like. i don't get crushes very often but when i do, they are very strong and they take a while to get off of my mind. we have been hanging out a lot and i feel like they are warming up to me. we've been having breakfast or lunch together a lot. i was going to see a movie and i mentioned it, and they wanted to tag along so we did that and we had a great time talking about the creative vision after the fact and i just really love the way that they think. we're able to bond over a lot of our shared life experiences, but we actually do have a lot in common in terms of hobbies, and even when we don't, we're always open to hearing about something new and potentially taking an interest in it. i want to hold their hand, i want to hug them sometimes. but i just smile a lot when we're around each other. it's been about a month or so.

i think feelings are starting to become mutual, but i am absolutely terrified of a yes and then us separating and ruining our friendship over sexual incompatibility. all i know is that they're potentially pansexual, but i'm quite sure i'm either fully asexual (not aro) or demi. i'm not sure, i've never wanted to have sex with any of my crushes before but i've just wanted to be very close with them, maybe even moving in together. but the thought of sex scares me so much (although that might be my internalized transphobia speaking; further confusing me on what i really am. i'm not sure.)

i know by trying to become more than friends, you risk ruining everything. and if i don't say anything, i'm kind of just forcing myself to yearn permanently until things fizzle out... and then what? or i just hurt myself with the thought of being together even though i'm too scared and hold onto it forever. any advice to get over my nerves and get rid of any of this irrational fear?

Hi, so, I think im asexual. But then Im not sure. Help me out, So, firstly, addressing the elephant in the room, yeah, sometimes when im hard, and I watch porn, it kinda works, but mostly cause ik they're paid actors. But like when someone, is talking about sex, or like flirting sexually, I just get grossed out, it feels super weird and uncomfortable, like super uncomfortable, whenever someone even flirts with me in such a sexual way, I get so uncomfy, it like, ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. Like, for me, idk, Sex is never like the first option or any option when I like someone, idk, Help me out?

🙋‍♂️

I think my wife might be asexual, sex with her has never been a lot. 1-2 x a month around ovulation time. Even when we first got married 25+ years ago. My question is do ace's typically not like pda and also affection otherwise. My wife gives me hugs and pecks on the lips but nothing else. She loves her feet and back rubs but I never get anything in return even though I don't like foot and back rubs. She has said she doesn't care either way for sex. Her words she could take it or leave it...thoughts?

I’m not sure if I’m allowed to ask this here but idk where else to go.

I’m almost 18 and I’ve always identified as bisexual. I’ve been in love with both men and women, I’m 100% sure I’m attracted to both genders

But when I think about actually having sex it just gets all weird.

Like with men I want to touch their chest and stuff but that’s as far as it goes. I guess I’d do stuff with them but only to make them happy. And the idea of a dude touching me genuinely creeps me out, it’s so uncomfortable I feel sick when I think about it.

But then with women it’s the opposite. I’d want them to touch me and do all of it yknow, but I wouldn’t wanna do it to them. Bcs again when I think about that i just panick, it doesn’t seem enjoyable at all and I’d literally rather break up than have to touch her in those places even though I’f want her to do it to me.

Idk if this makes sense. Is it even possible or is there just something not right with me?

Hello, I'm looking for advice. My boyfriend (m28) and I (f28) are both on the asexual spectrum - ace and demi. We're together for 6 years and realized how our sexuality works this year. (With the help of this subreddit and the resources, thank you for that!)

And why there is some frustration about this in our relationship.

He's asexual. He doesn't have the want to be intimate and doesn't feel sexual attraction. Sometimes we have been intimate together and have had sex a few times but he doesn't really 'feel it'. Kissing he doesn't like, but cuddling he likes sometimes.

I'm demisexual, so I don't often have desire for sex, but I do have sometimes. For me, sexual attraction is all about close relationship and trust. So I love him very much for our strong bond that doesn't rely on sex - and therefore sometimes want to be intimate with him.

So now the problem is, I miss the closeness and bond that comes with intimacy. Also I miss to be desired sexually and the exiting feeling while being intimate. Because when we were intimate, I could feel that he's not attracted and that he just doesn't feel it. So that leads to me not really feeling it either and getting frustrated.

Since he came out as ace it got worse. It has already been months since we were intimate together in any way. We don't cuddle or kiss anymore. We have already talked about it. He doesn't want it at this point in time but can't really say why and when that will maybe change.

Does anyone have advice for us? What could we do?
How can I express my sexuality while being in a relationship with him? How can I get my need for intimacy, closeness and feeling desired?

PS: I have been in relationships with allosexual partners and there also was (more) frustration about sex, because I didn't want it as often as they did. And they would be sexual too much and too often when I just didn't want it. I was feeling bad because I sometimes got the impression to be reduced to sex. About my current relationship, I love that we are close to each other and loving each other without the need to have sex. But still I'm missing something.

TL;DR My partner is ace and I'm demi which we recently realized after being in a relationship for 6 years. I love him very much and we have a strong bond. (What makes me want to be intimate with him and feel attracted by him even more - but he doesn't feel that way). I'm looking for advice how we can make the relationship work for both of us.

As an ace(25F), specifically aego with a strong hatred for d-ck and p-netration(yes I censored them because they're both fugly and horrifying, speaking as a vag-owner), why is it that allos consider sex, especially PIV, to be this strong "need" when they have their own hands and/or toys to scratch the itch? They aren't going to die if they don't have sex, it's not an actual necessity like food and water or medicine to stop a cold.

I've only ever been in one relationship, for 2 years, when I was in my early 20's. Sex, especially PIV, was one of the worst things I've ever experienced, have never climaxed at all from(neither from fingering, cunnilingus nor rimming because they all feel like CRAP), and it's something I can 100% happily live without, and never be with another person again. I'm super content with rubbing it out over the clothes(as I hate being naked), a vibe wand, fantasizing and drawing NSFW stuff(without showing genitals because ew). It has been so much better than sexual activity with another person, and it's a million lightyears better than a scary sword. To me, all sexual activity is just a way to get someone's rocks off and that's it. I'm closed when it comes to my emotions and I've always had trust issues, so I don't get how someone can psychologically connect to a person through sex when all they're doing is just busting a nut. Society puts so much emphasis on sex as this sort of universal need, when in reality it's not everyone's priority, as the human experience is so much more complicated than that. Like Jean says to Florence, "Sex doesn't make us whole, and so, how could you ever be broken?"

I don't think sex is a need, but instead more of a want.

Both me and my gf are ace. I'm Demi and they're the only person I find attractive like that. Whenever we hug or cuddle I get an erection and it's really embarrassing. I try not to have them notice it but Its still embarrassing. A couple of days ago I was hugging them from behind and I accidentally touched their butt. I've been thinking about that non stop recently. They didn't seem to notice or most likely care but it's just really embarrassing. I feel so ashamed.

I have always had a low sex drive but before, I could experience sexual attraction. Although now since a year, it completely disappeared, and I couldn’t feel sexual attraction anymore. I don’t feel the need to have sex with people anymore. Even masturbating can be hard sometimes, as it takes me some time to get there.

Is it possible that I became asexual ?

I've been in a relationship with a very patient allosexual man for nearly a decade. When we first got together, I thought I was allosexual. I'm still questioning whether I am and I've just been on antidepressants too long, or if I am truly greysexual, possibly greyromantic as well.

I met my best friend less than a year ago, but we've absolutely hit it off. We both have low sex drives due to trauma and antidepressants lol, but we love making sex jokes. We casually flirt with eachother, we've enjoyed some platonic cuddling, y'know, just girl things™️ 💅.

My partner and I haven't done anything sexual in a while, and I rarely show any physical affection towards him. But with my best friend, it just feels natural. To add to the shit pile, I have sexual fantasies about her, and I feel terrible about that. I'm not actively seeking a relationship with her beyond friendship, but if I was single, I absolutely would. Ngl, I've been fairly consistently horny for the first time since I was a teen.

I've also recently started my medical transition to nonbinary. She sees me as I am; some weird gender that can only be explained through interpretive dance lol. My partner supports my transition, but I fear he still struggles to see me as my true gender. He has expressed very valid fears that he won't be attracted to me after my transition. But we've decided to cross that bridge when we come to it.

God I need a therapist.

TL;DR: questioning my identity and relationship with my partner after meeting my best friend. I have sexual feelings for the first time in a long time, and I don't know what to do with that. 😬

(22F, aegoromantic apparently)

I just experienced an anxiety attack or whatever today when my friend told me about some intimate things she did with another female friend today. We are all sapphics, and I am quite close to my friend, and I have always known that she is not asexual (she may be aromantic though) and that despite being KINDA sex-repulsed (like when she thinks about other people doing it), she herself does crave for it a lot and she eventually wants to do it before she dies at least. And as nervous as she says she is about it, she seeks out physical companionship. One day she tells me she doesnt like people touching her, another day she tells me oh she touched the girl’s thighs and waist. Im like????? The mixed signals is killing me. It hurts so bad. Like if you want to do all that just straight up tell me instead of leading me on to believe youre suffering the same struggles I face. She has always said that she wants to “makeout” with someone or have friends with benefits. I was deep down hoping she would change her mind and this would never happen so that we could be the same but that is not the case. She suddenly dropped the news that she had been fondling some girl that’s into her, touching her chest and kissing her neck whatever, all clothes on, no lip on lip action. BUT STILL. It sent me into a spiral. I had tried so hard to mentally prepare for the moment she would tell me about something like this, but when she actually did tell me about it, I felt like dying. Im trying so hard to be supportive about it because I know it’s what she wants, even though I am so disgusted by it and wished she didnt have those needs. Like if I'm being completely honest, I dont know if i can look at her the same now. Im just having intrusive thoughts, imagining them doing what she described, and imagining a future where it evolves to full on coitus or at least more extreme physical contact. I know what they just did recently is basically nothing to most people,,, like yeah duh its just some light touching and kissing. But I cant help it, I just feel so horrible. All this time I was relying on her in a way, because she was the only person so far who felt SOMEWHAT similar to what i feel. But I’ve always known she wants more and now that she’s getting it, and is on the road to having full on coitus action, I dont know how to cope with all this. I have already started distancing myself from her by ignoring her texts today after our conversation about her intimate sesh. I silenced the chat and am literally forcing myself to watch films and stuff to distract myself from her news. I had a solid sobbing session too, like my reaction was that visceral. I go silent whenever topics surrounding physical intimacy come up, my heart races, I start to feel lightheaded and I feel like crying. It’s silly cuz WHY is my reaction this extreme???? Why was I made this way? (I have no trauma as far as I can remember. It really is unbearable and despite trying to be the bigger person and trying to open my mind, I dont think I could ever accept that coitus is something other people want, especially my own close friends, and in my case a close friend who I had thought was gonna stay in the same boat as me but is now leaving the boat and dipping her feet into the water. I don't want to feel this way, I don't want to lose my friends and even family just because I found out they took part in some intimate activity I dont feel comfortable with. I am so afraid of the acts and the thought of my friends doing it that Im willing to cut them off just so I am not in their life when something significant does happen between the friend and partner. I dont know why I cant just look past it and let people do what they want to do. I just cannot take it it's overwhelming. It's starting to feel like a dealbreaker for me, like I can only tolerate being close friends with other ace folk, which is so incredibly rare irl for me. I havent found anyone like me, it's such a lonely journey when you think about what other people crave for, because it means you'll never be That person for them. I'll never be That person for her, she will always seek it out from random people, and eventually we will drift away because we dont have the same interests. Help 

(TW: trauma and abuse)

I won't go into any graphic details, this is just me looking for some advice in my journey of self-discovery as a survivor of csa (childhood sexual abuse) and trying to understand my identity as an adult.

I've struggled all my life trying to understand if I'm asexual or is it my trauma, or both? And i hope with all my heart this doesn't come out as a way to invalidate other people's experiences!

-> (for context i'm a lesbian)

When I date people (which isn't often by any means) I tend to initiate sex myself, and I realize it's because i imagine they want it and i want to please them and making a partner happy brings me joy, but here's the part i would like help understanding: i enjoy sex in a way, because as a biological thing it brings pleasure. does this make sense?

But, I don't feel the need to have sex and have gone years without it, but when i fall in love with someone or develop a crush in something more casual, i do have sex and even initiate it, and when they reciprocate it, i don't mind it because i imagine they enjoy making me feel good too.

This has led me to always go back and forth in identifying as asexual or not, is it wrong for me to identify as one? I feel guilty, because i initiate it, i even enjoy it in a way, so it doesn't feel like i fit in this "label", but at the same time i don't fit with allosexuals either, because sex is not on my mind ever, when people around me talk about sex all the time i feel extremelly disconnected.

its honestly just when i'm with a partner or someone i feel safe with the feeling florishes out of the need to make them happy more than me being like "AAAAA I WANT SEX!", like everyone around me seems to be. (and sometimes i feel guilty after sex because i find great shame to be associated with people who want sex all the time since its not something i tell my partners that i feel, bc in my head telling them i dont need sex makes me think they wont like me or will think of me differently, or stop enjoying sex with me bc it will get in their head. (hence the trauma ig)).

any help or stories would be greatly appreciated. if you found the time to read my rambling i'm extremely grateful, have a great day<3

I’ve been questioning for a bit but have pretty much concluded I’m asexual, one thing that really bothers me is how gender roles fit into relationships (typically heterosexual ones). I’m a man but I know I’m not gay and I feel preference towards women but I don’t possess any desire to involve myself romantically or sexually. One of the things I think that bothers me and turns me off to relationships additionally is how I’m expected to play certain roles, whether sexual or just casually. An example being that I as a man i’m expected to lead and be an assertive figure. I also don’t in general have any problem with being a leader it’s just in a relationship the fact it’s expected is what I don’t get if that’s making sense. Also It’s hard to say if that role is something I’d accept in a relationship because I can never imagine myself in one. Idk I just feel like it’s one of the many things that make me completely idk repulsed by relationships if that’s not too harsh of a word.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't have sexual attraction and I never have. I consider that separate from how COMFORTABLE one feels about the thought of sex; sex positive, indifferent, repulsed.

My mother taught me about sex when I was 5, in a purely scientific way. I began to be interested in the different parts and learned how to masturbate at this young age. At 6, she taught me how to deny access to my body. Saying no to being touched (despite the fact that she would slap my... errr... when I said no... anyway!). I think being exposed to that so young and being taught that was such a private area dug into my head that it is a PRIVATE AREA. To. EVERYONE.

I do not have sexual desires, but I have an interest in partaking it and trying it. Trouble is, I can't even get a pelvic exam. I would rather die than let anyone down there. My father noticed due to me denying tests/care for my dangerous periods, and he asked me if I had anything happen to me (i.e SA) and no I haven't. It confuses me why I am this way when I haven't, and I feel it definitely correlates with thinking of my privates as my nono square from day 1. No doctors, no partners, NO ONE.

Other weird things she did included asking me about my masturbation when I was 12-13. Asking me for details about it. She was overall weird, but I didn't realize that till later on.

Throughout all of my teenage years, hearing all of my male friends talk about women, sex, how easily horny they were, I never have experienced these things the way they have and to be honest it’s confusing and a little scary.

When I’m alone and in the mood it’s not a problem, but with each and every one of my partners (relationships not hookups) I never seem to get in that mood. I have had major trouble getting an erection with every partner to which I’ve noticed only until there’s direct touch stimulation to me I will not get hard from anything I see, I touch, hear etc which is incredibly unfortunate when after a good amount of foreplay, grinding etc they see I’m not even budged.

This is what leads me to believe that I really have to get to know someone first and develop this emotional connection before I go all in, unlike some guys who just require the sight of a girls body and they’re easily ready to perform and I just can’t do it like that and I wish I was able to. I figured it was anxiety and I’d say it’s slowly gotten better over the years but it still remains there and confuses me. After the initial embarrassment of telling them that that’s normal for me and happens with everyone I’m with and hope they understand, I NEVER once have gotten the urge to get to the sex point with them. Each girl has basically led me to the point where it’s my turn to make a move whether that’s hand stuff leading to sex and so on. For my relationships that have lasted longer, I’ve liked or loved my partner deeply, the sex becomes routine and I believe my body recognizes what it has to do but I don’t even FEEL it. I don’t feel like I want to do it, I don’t have that drive or that rush that every guy talks about and it feels almost unfair. I have fun, it’s objectively hot, but even when I see a naked girl literally in front of me i have no urge or desire, I wouldn’t be able to get hard without stimulation.

Medically I believe I’m fine, my testosterone is in normal ranges and my doctor even called me a hypochondriac for suspecting there’s something wrong with me cause I wanted blood tests to make sure I’m not just deficient in stuff. Just looking for some input or advice with my situation as it’s always confused and bothered me and have no idea why I’d be like this without some sort of trauma or event or something. Thank you for reading this

Helpooo

So my friend is that one friend who’s really ‘dirty-minded’ and likes to make sex jokes like every millisecond and it’s driving me crazy. Idk how to ask them to stop properly because I don’t want them to feel bad or something. It also isn’t just them, a lot of people do it around me too and it just makes me uncomfortable having to talk about it with people or listen to people talk about that kind of thing all the time.

Hi I’m having a sexuality freak out. I think I’m bi one moment the straight the next. Let me break it down for you. (As a male) I feel sexual attraction to women so I’m quite sure (not 100% sure yet) that I’m allo to women. But when it comes to men I don’t think I feel sexual attraction but I want a relationship or, maybe a sexual relationship. It’s hard to explain, i think men are hot, I feel an aesthetic attraction but I don’t feel sexual attraction towards them, like l definitely feel an attraction towards them in some way though. Ive never had a sexual relation full stop but being in a relationship with a man isn’t a no for me so I thought I may be bi, but the reason I posted this is to get help on wether I’m bi or bisexual. Like if I imagine it I could maybe imagine myself getting aroused after physical attraction. ButI’ve never done it yet, so IDK! I do feel attraction (maybe the tiniest bit of sexual attraction, like 3% when looking at hot men) but it’s just not fully there. There’s an attraction stronger than someone not attracted to men. I thought I may just be cupiosexual, but I feel it tiny bit. Cupiosexuals feel nothing ever but want it. The same with Demi but it’s just not the case (maybe) Ive never been in a relationship but think I might want physical touch. But just don’t know if I’ll find sexual attraction after doing it (I have the urge but not the blood rush). Like I sometimes think I’m a straight person in denial, but then I’m not though because I feel an attraction there. HELP

I am still closeted and my friends are having a hear me out cake, but the idea of that just makes me uncomfortable. I am fine with sitting there and watching them do this and hanging out with them, but I don’t like the fact that it means that I have to participate too. What should I do I already committed to the plans.

WARNING: acts of self relief mentioned.

Backstory (not entirely relevant): First of al, I have no doubt that miransexual is a label that almost perfectly describes me. I just recently found out that I am asexual (the instant that I saw a proper description). However, I still needed to fully figure out my feelings. After obsessivly thinking about it for days on end (thanks ADD), I found out about miransexuality.

Actual body of my post: Splitting up the description of miransexuality (and hence oversimplifying) in 2 parts we come to the root of my confliction. The asexual part feels incredibly comfortable to me. It cannot be overstated how much relief I felt that it is a valid orientation (perhaps relevant: I am decidedly sex averse). The libido spike, however, and subsequent urge to relief myself caused by visual stimuli of the female body (being my trigger. Never sexual in nature, but pictures of nude body's posing in a non-sexual way can be) is deeply uncomfortable. I enjoy the physical feeling of relieving myself, but I hate the act itself (both in practice and in concept).

Me finding out about asexuality actually deepened my aversion to masturbation. I used to think that my high libido and arousal to visual stimuli were meant to 'fix' me when eventually forced into the act of sex by means cultural expectations. However, now that this 'justification' is no longer present in my eyes, it is even more frustrating. I genuinely loathe it now.

If there is any advise regarding this, I would really appreciate it. Perhaps, some fellow miransexuals (or neighbouring microlabels) could share their experience with this.

Also obligatory: English is nog my first language so please be nice :)

SEX - it’s such an awkward topic and I have so many mixed feelings when it comes to it.

Although I wouldn’t consider my self anti-sexual, it definitely takes a meaningful connection and attraction to get me there.

I’ve been in many relationships where the connection and attraction have been severed from my partner wanting sex all of the time and then I start feeling some type of way about it. It turns me off when sex is a constant need.

I have had some not so pleasant sexual experiences before but nothing traumatizing to the point of not wanting sex at all. I do have the concern of being used for sex though + I’ve been cheated on enough.

What gets me cheated on is my lack of sexual desire. I want to be sexual for my partner because it seems to be very important for a relationship to thrive but honestly, I could go without sex for MONTHS!

It makes me not even want to date because SEX is such a touchy (literally lol) subject. It would be nice to find someone who could live without sex but still have sex.

WHAT AM I EXPERIENCING?