Just to be clear, I don't have anything against aegosexuals

But I recently (a month back) got to know that i'm agnostic (i didn't know there was a label for it) And then yesterday I got to know that i'm aegosexual? I'm just so frustrated because I really don't want to be that different.I want to be able to relate to what my friends talk about.Lately I seem to have VASTLY different opinions, thoughts, and feelings over everything While my friends accept me(i love them dearly) I don't want to deal with this.i know I'm being childish and unreasonable and perhaps this will change when I'm older but I want to not be so unique anymore and I want to share the same feeling of excitement that my bf does for sex After all this rant I wanted to ask that is it possible for me to just sweep this under the rug and can I just gaslight myself into not being aegosexual and have sex with my partner without having to explain all this to him

I'm okay with having sex but I'm scared that I'll not be as aroused as I am when I masterbate, and as a result.I'll be hurt or that most importantly, penetration won't be possible

Also, I wanted to really say that I am in awe of all of you guys who can be comfortable with being asexual. I really really don't mean this in a bad way (pinky promise)

Thank you

EDIT: i just want to have sex with my boyfriend, but I find the penetration to be extremely difficult(which i suspect is due to me being aegosexual) We have tried to have sex a few times before but always had to stop because it was extremely difficult to insert, and then it pained too much for me once he started moving

I want this to be a temporary solution for a few months because I want him to fulfil his ardent desire to have sex with me

We'll have to break up soon due to us being in completely different states for college

I can't handle too much physical intimacy because of my hypersensitivity and I prefer to just self pleasure and imagine or watch videos. I don't like penetration or exchange of fluids either. Anyone else who is hypersensitive and aego?

(warning: sexual language and mention of SA)

Teeny bit* of course I made a typo the the title. 🤦🏽

I need help.. For me Aego almost fits... But in a pretty important way it doesn't.. like Aego, I don't want to actually do in real life any of the things I might read/fantasize about...

But I DO mentally self-insert, I am turned on by the idea of doing things with others/characters in stories etc.

But ONLY the idea, only in the fantasy. I DON'T want to actually do stuff IRL, I've tried it and while, when it's consensual it's not the worst.. it's still not something I can see myself seeking out from someone unless I wanted to meet them at their needs/wants?

I've also been SA'd, so I know from personal experience that, for me at least, there's absolutely a difference between how the two feel, and that consensual just isn't personally traumatic (again for me, I'm not speaking for everyone) as the other, etc, Consensual for me is just.. Not really enjoyable.. kind of like... Being sedentary/a homebody and going to exercise or going on a hike with someone because you want to spend quality time together doing an activity you know they enjoy..?

Even if, sometimes it has physically felt good, and even when I really loved the person, connected otherwise... there's just still a disconnect somewhere going on where I'm never fully enjoying myself, and usually mentally it's hard not to be just like "oh hmmm.. that's..wet.. erg.. I'm getting sweaty and overheated... Jeez I'd so much rather just be reading about this by myself..."

I've never particularly liked kissing either, though like, back-to-back, or other "not entangled" touch can be really nice, especially without further expectation/escalation attached...?

Is there something a little further down the line than Aego that involves self insert and fantasy involving self, but still no real interest in actual physical sexual intimacy?

I’m watching The Good Place for the first time and I laughed so hard at this line 😂

I made this flag because I was bored and it didn’t exist one yet. :p

Apparently I can’t link anything when I’ve added an image but basically vicarious attention is a type of attraction that you feel while imagining to be someone else (usually a fictional character or OC). The flag is supposed to symbolize how you usually don’t feel any attraction when looking at a specific individual (often a fictional character but doesn’t have to be) but when you instead look at them though the lens/eyes of someone else, you do experience the attraction to them which is represented by the bright colors inside the eye shape. Vicarious sexual attraction and vicarious romantic attraction is often experienced by aegosexual and aegoromantic people respectively, but the term is not exclusive to the aego community.

What do y’all think?

I am a transman (he/him) and I have recently taking testosterone. I have bottom dysphoria to the point that I won't touch that place if unavoidable. Previously, my "sex drive" (or it's aegosexual equivalent) was met by reading fanfiction or text-based roleplaying with bots. Unfortunately, T has increased this drive and now I don't know what to do. Ideally masturbating would be nice I guess, but again, dysphoria means touching that part is a big no.

I guess this is part rant (i'd rather be ace without the aego part) and part asking advice (what the hell am I supposed to do?). Anyways, if you've read this far, thank you internet stranger.

Does anyone else literally only experience aesthetic attraction? I see a lot of mirous attraction stuff and just. Cannot relate.

Bodies/characters aren't hot but scenarios are idk

(I am speaking from memory because my libido is actually dead from medication rn)

We should make sure every comment is answered so that people know that they can post in the MP and have their answers. ☺️ Hopefully this'll lead to less AIA posts on the main~

GUYS TELL ME IF YOU HAD ANYTHING LIKE THIS BUT IN JUST THINKING OF IT

ok so i read like a lot of 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 stuff (im sorry 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 is in that font i put my phone to autocorrect it to that i am too lazy to fix it)

BUT LIKE I WOULD READ STUFF ANS THEN “character x y/n” or “self insert” STUFF WOULD COME UP AND ID READ IT BUT I WOULDNT LIKE IT 😭 UNLESS THE WRITER MADE “y/n” A CHARACTER AND THEIR POV WAS READ IN THIRD PERSON

ALSO IN ANY 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 STUFF I LISTEN TO (crazy that im confessing to that but whatever) I NEVER LIKE STUFF THATS LIKE “doing this with you” IT WAS ALWAYS LIKE “doing this by myself” AND ALL THE STUFF I LIKED BIG ON WATCHING SOMEONE ELSE DO SMTH AND NOT BEING AT ALL INVOLVED 💀

Im not sure if this is an aegosexual experience im still not sure entirely if im aegosexual cause of a variety of other factors that i am working on figuring out but GUYS THIS IS SILLY HS ANYONE ELSE EXPERIENCED THIS tell me im not a freak please 😭😭😭

TW SA, ED, DYSPHORIA

(Putting more space so if anyone reads the trigger warnings they don’t accidentally read anything I wrote)

Ok hi so I’ve been using aegosexual as my label for now but I really don’t know if it’s right cause like idk 😭 for context I have a lot of sexual trauma and an eating disorder and gender dysphoria so overall not great experience with my body in general and what people have done to it. Also I am hypersexual but I’m dealing with that also.

What I’m trying to figure out is if I’m aegosexual cause I myself don’t feel sexual attraction to people but I will read or listen to smth and be like “DAYUM” yk? HOWEVER! I don’t feel like attracted I guess? I just feel kinda 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 towards whatever is happening and less so the person involved.

Currently my only sexual experience has been in SA context or out of self harm which is like weird to say but it’s what I was up to for a while. I feel like at some point I would be willing to maybe sleep with someone if I REALLY REALLY REALLY trusted them because every time I have done anything with some one I didn’t trust or even like them as a person, or they forced me to. Also cause showing someone my body when it’s got like scars and is afab and stuff would only be acceptable by me if I really trusted them. But the idea of me sleeping with someone or doing anything with someone doesn’t turn me on, only like a character version of me in my mind.

Is that because I’m not who I want to be and if I became more like that version of me maybe I would enjoy it? Idk. Would me sleeping with someone be out of some daddy issues fucked desire to please everyone around me so they don’t leave including by letting someone violate my boundaries? I don’t know 😭.

However I do feel like if I was really close friends with someone in the future when I’m a little healthier I could see myself doing smth 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with them if they had like some fantasy thing they wanted to try. However I don’t see myself being sexually attracted to them. I would like the idea of the fantasy part, and I have a lot of little fantasies, I’m just not involved in them. But I would gladly do that for someone else, knowing that they are sexually attracted to me, but I don’t feel the same. If I assume I’m not doing this out of like a need to please people urge, would I still be considered aegosexual?

Basically in summary if I’m fine with being 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 with someone who is sexually attracted to me, but I’m not sexually attracted to them, and more interested in playing a character in their fantasy, and possibly getting off on the fantasy part, but not being sexually attracted to the person, am I still aegosexual?

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8FWKbt2/

(video not mine)

This is a bit of an unusual situation for me so please bear with me.

I (M, Millennial) am asexual with some aegosexual tendencies. I have a friend, Sandra (F, Gen X), who’s been widowed and single for a very long time (over a decade). She’s tried dating, but nothing has really worked for her. From what I’ve gathered, Gen-X men aren’t exactly living up to expectations (who knew?).

Recently, Sandra has been vocal about feeling frustrated—both sexually and emotionally. I also suspect she might be touch-starved. She’s a wonderful person and a great friend, and despite the 15-year age gap between us, we connect deeply over our shared interests and values. While I’ve never thought of her romantically or as a potential partner, it’s hard not to empathise with her struggles.

Our circle of friends has noticed that physical intimacy seems really important to her, but living in a small town (population under 12,000) means her options for romantic and physical connection are very limited.

Here’s where things get complicated. I feel a certain sense of conviction to help her meet these needs. But as someone who is largely asexual, with a hint of aegosexuality, I don’t experience sexual attraction in the same way she does and our needs are very different in that respect. On top of that, I have a history of sexual trauma, which adds another layer of complexity to the whole thing.

Sandra knows about my trauma and that I’m largely ace. We’ve always had a very open, honest relationship where we’ve shared some very frank and intimate conversations about our experiences and desires (or lack thereof in my case) without judgment. There’s zero mystery between us, and she’s always respected my boundaries. I feel safe with her, which is something I don’t take lightly.

Would it be strange to offer to be an outlet for her to express some of what she’s missing? I’ve already started thinking about how to navigate the practical and emotional hurdles on my end, but I’d really appreciate an outside perspective on the situation.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I’m open to any advice or insights you might have.

I think we all know that aegosexuality is, first and foremost, "liking the idea of sex without wanting to experience it yourself"; for example, arousal from watching people have sex, but not having sex like those people. That's certainly true for me.

But I wanted to ask if any people here in the aego community go a step further and find arousal from things that are abstract. By 'abstract', I don't mean (for example) "furries", who are not exactly human but still fill the same physical role. I'm talking about pure abstractions like (for example) nation-play, where the subjects don't even need to be in "flesh and bone" form.

Does anyone find that to be part of their aego identity? Or, maybe there's an entirely separate classification for that (in which case, I'd like to know!)

Hello all so I asked the mod team before posting so this is mod approved but I'll ask them to sticky a comment to show that as well.

I wanted to make a community for people who identify loosely as aegosexual but also have a very high sex drive. And the challenges, and areas around being a little from column both .

A bit about me I would say i identify as partially fraysexual and aegosexual and I use writing smut and long distance bdsm, voice chats etc as a kinda coping strategy. I'm not sure if it's just super amounts of anxiety or baggage from life stuff but that's the terminology I use atm.

If I think about something irl I have to make it either some kind of call to aesthetics or kink based for my brain to be like oh that might theoretically probably not be okay. Ive avoided it almost entirely atm.

The challenges are that if you're a tease in your kink people presume that means I'm being a tease irl. Not the case just is the way that it is. It's frustrating.

Anyway so introducing /r/hypersexualaegosexual it will initially just be a text based sub and it's for loosely self defined aegosexuals that have a high sex drive. You don't have to have any interest in bdsm or kink to participate but please join and start posting and comments. I still need to figure out what rules to put in

If you think this might be you come and post and chat :). It's just going to be text only at first but might change it to allowing images so we can get memes and gifs and stuff going too.

Anyway yes, so please feel free to check it out if your identify

/r/hypersexualaegosexual

(Note: not to do with medical condition hypersexuality and I can't change the title unfortunately. I meant high libido aegosexuality )

We will be pretty easy going and big tent in so far as maybe people wouldn't be able to perfectly self define.

Check it out and join if you think it's right doe you :)

Edit: I forgot to mention, even though it's text based it's an 18+ only community sorry.

Mod approved

Can I be aegosexual, cupiosexual and quoisexual? (Myrsexual) or do I need to look for other labels…?

Disclaimer: sexual content (obv.)

I'm allo and my partner is (sex-neutral, on average) aego, we've come a long way getting comfortable with each other's sexuality. We have sex on a weekly basis and I'm incredibly grateful for every experience we engage in. I've accepted that there's not really anything I can do to myself to help her get turned on (i.e. making myself more attractive to her), it's something she's got to conjure in her head (she's shared that she fantasizes about faceless, multiple partner scenarios when she's alone, again another thing I'm incredibly grateful that she shared with me). My goal and kink is to give her that best orgasm I can, and I have in the past, huge, screaming, brain erasing orgasms, but they kind of just appear as a surprise out of nowhere. I do my best to recreate the ideal setting and arrangement (doesn't help that my member can be a little inconsistently cooperative). I've read Come As You Are and really try to reduce as many distractions and remove as many 'breaks' as possible. She's resistant to thinking or talking about this kind of thing in detail, has trouble finding the words in addition to making her uncomfortable, but it's getting better. She also is resistant to the idea of helping things along manually with her hand during intercourse. We've been making progress in getting to realize that this is a shared responsibility and I really need her help and participation in order to achieve this goal. One recent time we got a decent one out of her, I emphasized: "you did that, I didn't do that." I also want to mention, although I do care about this a lot, I'm cognizant to do my best to reduce the pressure to perform as much as possible, I know that kind of thing doesn't help. We're (she's) comfortable saying "not going to happen this time, just take care of yourself" when that's the case.

So, my question for aegos that have sex, particularly those that successfully orgasm during intercourse, what are the kinds of things that help you get in the right mindset to achieve this?

Some of current ideas I'm about trying are like "what if you covered me with a sheet and pretended I wasn't here" "what about a faced away position and really focused on your fantasy" I've recently given her the green light to not worry about trying to make this an intimate connection type of experience necessarily and given her full permission to dissociate as much as necessary (I feel like 'dissociating' usually has a negative connotation but I don't really think that necessarily has to apply in this situation).

Any and all input or ideas welcome. Many thanks to this community for sharing their perspectives, journeys, and insights.

So i made a post before about how my girlfriend 21f is concerned about her ability to please me 21m sexually as shes ace/aego and im not so she was worried on the sexual aspect of the relationship the last few post were nice to read and gave lots of info and she is a sex repulsed person who in her own words " wants me to be taken care of sexually but doesnt want to have sex herself" has anyone been in a situation like this and how did you deal with it? Im not a hyper sexual person but shes really worried about this and im looking for things we can do in the future so she doesnt need to be worried about it ive told her ints not a big deal but she been stressing on it abit.

For some context, I'm almost 16, and strongly believe I'm ace, specifically aego. We're just starting our Sex Ed unit in biology, which also teaches things like consent, healthy relationships, etc. I also have friends who have either come close to having sex, or have actually had sex (Note: I'm not here to judge them, simply giving some background info). I feel like it's just come up everywhere recently, every post I see on here, more and more conversations about it at school. On some level, I feel left out I suppose. I like the idea of having a partner, talking to them about this kind of thing, the intimacy that comes with that. Even just to know what it's like. But the idea of actually having sex, especially with someone I'm romantically interested in, it just makes me uncomfortable. So many things right now seem to revolve or include sex, relationships, whatever. I just don't really know what to do about it, how to navigate this time right now. I think a part of me is also just wondering if I'm actually ace, or just don't like the idea of sex because I don't like my body and don't want others to see my body

I just came across that the r/fictosexual subreddit and I was thinking that us and them have a lot of overlap! Can those two labels coexist? I was wondering what you guys thought about this.

Hi!

I’m having trouble defining my orientation, ofc as a beginner. The only thing that’s certain is that I belong to the aegosexual group because I prefer reading books and fanfics rather than engaging in sexual activities in real life. I also suspect that I might be aegoromantic for the same reason (I don’t want to participate in romantic activities, I just prefer reading about them). At the same time, I feel very attracted to people and their genders (although I don’t want to engage in romantic or sexual activities with them – I’d prefer it to be someone else). Can I be omni while also being aegosexual and aegoromantic? Is it possible to be all three?

Hey everyone,

This is going to be a rambly post, because I'm trying to process some feelings here and I'd love to hear feedback if this is aego- or other traum-related shit that I need to dig deeper for.

So I've been reading fanfiction with a fanon-demisexual character and at first I was happy about the ace representation and everything, but after a few fics I kinda felt almost resentful? A bit like the fics said "true love cures all, even ace-ness!". And I'm certain that non of the authors meant it that way and I know demi people are real and can help their sex drive as little as I can (and we're not goinginto the discrimination all ace folks face), but yeh, the envy was there.

And now I was wondering if this might get an aego thing, because we like the idea of sex, but don't want it for ourselves with the bonus of social norms with their "if you love your husband/wife enough, the heteronormativity will come on its own" or if I'm just being a whiny bitch and should learn to deal with it.

(Probably didn't help that I wasn't in a super good headspace and had pushed my own boundaries with myself trying and failing to get off in a different context a day or two before.)

Thanks to anyone for any opinion you might have.

I’ve been like this my entire life and started masturbating at a young age so I thought everyone thought like I did. I’m a straight female who has always watched porn and liked the look of anything breast related (but never lesbian porn). I love sex and only want it with a man but have a hard time having an orgasm from that. I am very attracted to him but never fantasize about him. My thoughts are just watching the man enjoy it. I know I’m straight so I don’t question that. I’m a B cup and on the fit side and always thought it was a jealousy issue of women with more curves since sometimes I think of my partner with another female. I don’t want that to ever happen, as it would destroy me but it’s like the idea of him choosing someone over me causes an emotion that makes it easy to finish. Now I’m understanding myself a little more and why I really don’t like him looking at porn since I don’t have those thoughts and it’s hard to detach love from sex. In other words I don’t think of having sex with others so I’ve never liked the thought of my partner thinking about being with someone else (if that makes sense). Also, I’ve always thought about a crush but just daydream what the conversation would be like and standing close to him etc and how attracted we’d be to each other but not usually going to sex (aside from a kiss). That never gets me off and is just a daydream. I’m so confused and feel so weird. Lastly, I don’t care for genitalia so when watching porn I don’t like watching intercourse. It repulses me and thought it was from a traumatic event years ago. I’m so confused and since I’ve always felt this way, I guess I assumed females thought like this too!

TLDR: My gf thinks the idea of her having sex is gross but wants to be able to please me sexually and is emotionally distrought that she doesnt how do i go about introducing her to new ways to satisfy me withought jumping straight into cucking her since she is willing to let me but i dont wanna jump to cheating off the start any other ideas????

So to give context me and my gf both 21 years old she is f and has been ace fprever and hasnt had the best dating life so far emotionally or physically and now that shes in a good relationship with me going on two years and us not having sex despite me making advances and trying to before it just not working out. I never thought much of it cause of some cercumstances surrounding her physically but i recently found out that this makes her very stressed and emotional on not being able to please me sexually as to her the idea of herself being involved in sexual action is gross but she loves porn media and claims to be aegosexual which i believe and she hates that she cant perform for me physically. I even jokingly mentioned things like cuckolding and voyerism and she was willing to let me sleep around however i dont wanna solve this problem in her eyes by straight up cheating even if she doesnt see it as such what steps would you do to help solve this situation as fellow aces??

This will probably be a long story but I only found out about aegosexuality just before Christmas and I immediately resonated with it more than when I thought I was gay-leaning bi. I didn't start watching porn until after starting college, not for religious reasons or anything, I just didn’t really feel the need to, so all throughout high school I thought I was completely asexual, even though I've known I was physically attracted to men since the age of nine or so, and I had a couple crushes on both boys and girls a year or two later, which hasn't happened again since. After I started watching porn, let's just say that I finally understood why people say they were extremely horny as teens, because I had gay sex dreams almost nightly for the next three months or so. Even through that, I knew I had never been sexually attracted to anyone IRL, and I kept wondering if I was truly bi or something else, which led to me taking quizzes about the ace and aro spectrums a week or two ago, after a sexuality crisis which had been ongoing for a couple weeks at that point, which gave me aegosexuality as a result, and researching it further made me realize that this was what I had been looking for the whole time. I already knew I was on the aro spectrum, greyromantic specifically, so that part wasn't surprising. Before I found out about aegosexuality though, I had still wanted to lose my virginity eventually, but I realized afterwards that it was more because I felt I had to at some point. Helps that I've never wanted kids to begin with, although there's a bit of childhood trauma involved there. Similar to how I found out about being greyromantic, since in that case, I wanted to be in an actual relationship at some point, but more so I would know what it's like, and I've never liked the idea of marriage, although the trauma thing also applies to that.

CONTENT WARNING!!
Sex, kink, ovulation, and everything in between. You've been warned!

-----------------

Oh yeah, my aego ass ain't even interested in so much as being in the physical presence of another human being, let alone in any sort of sexual context...

And then ovulation comes in like a wrecking ball, and even though I still have no interest in any one particular person or even other people in general, I suddenly got all the physical biological urges/sensations that scream "MAKE BABY MAKE BABY" and that directly translates into my aegosexual erotic fantasizing. (Not at ALL helped that, by default, breeding/pregnancy kink got my braindick in a chokehold.)

TL;DR - I am the living embodiment of "fuck me but don't touch me or exist in any form whatsoever because even though I'm horny as fuck right now that's ultimately an annoying biology problem that I gotta deal with and the other 50% of the population just so happen to have the answer to" right now.

I'mma be real y'all.
I'm straight up looking to not feel alone in my suffering rn.
Anyone else relate? 💀💀💀

I'll open this first by saying that I'm not going to judge anyone with differing opinions on this topic. I've just had a realization recently and I'm curious if anyone else might feel similarly and what the community's thoughts on the topic are in general.

Alright. So, I was never one to think it was a big deal when people looked at porn (whether it's involving real people, smutty erotica, or hentai) while in relationships. Most people I've known in life, especially the women, were very much against it and considered it a form of cheating. I've known a significant number of couples who got divorced over porn (not porn addiction, just looking at it at all), too. I was never able to relate to their logic for it, but accepted how they felt on the topic.

Fast forward to the last couple of years and my discovery of being aegosexual and a lot of things started to make sense for me. More specifically, a realization I recently had is that the reason people probably got upset by the idea of their partner looking at pornographic materials was due to self-inserting. When I look at anything erotic, whether it's real or not, I view it as fiction involving characters that I do not self-insert into at all, because I don't self-insert into anything. I always considered myself very much separated from what was happening. I don't look at something happening and imagine that it's me or think about inserting myself into that situation. I've never looked at anyone or anything and thought, "Damn, I want to fuck them / I wish that was me with them." If anything, trying to insert myself into any form of fantasy, whether it's sexual or not, instantly ruins it.

But when it comes to allosexuals or just non-aegosexuals in general, I've realized... the problem is that they're most likely self-inserting into these scenarios. They see something hot and want to be involved in it themselves. They see a man or woman and wish that they were the one having sex with them. They're not completely detaching themselves from it like I would. Even when it comes to things like games or anime that are blatantly made for self-inserting, I never do that and always view the protagonist--no matter how much of a blank slate they might be for the sake of self-inserting--as a character uniquely distinct from myself.

For these last thirty years, I assumed that self-inserting was a thing that some people did, not the default for a majority of people (just like how I used to think people were exaggerating when they said they need sex). Realizing this, when I go back to those conversations regarding porn and fidelity, I actually think I have to agree that engaging with erotic materials while in a relationship is a form of being unfaithful if the person is self-inserting into the material and fantasizing about being involved themselves without their partner's consent. If they're not self-inserting at all, then I don't see any problem whatsoever. On a somewhat similar note, when working under the assumption that people generally self-insert, it's also far easier to understand why people have issues with problematic content, or why some people might feel ashamed during their post-nut clarity.

Now, it's not like I feel too strongly about this. If someone admits to looking at porn while in a relationship without their partner's consent, I'm not going to put them on the same level as someone who physically or emotionally cheats on their partner (unless they're like, directly talking to creators on OnlyFans or something). But as someone who is aegosexual yet still very much heteroromantic and monogamous, I can finally relate to the people who think that viewing porn while in a relationship is unethical when I remind myself that most people self-insert, especially with porn.

If I have a partner who gets off to any type of pornographic material without self-inserting, I wouldn't care at all. I would happily listen to her fangirl over any degenerate fantasies she's got for her ships. But if she's self-inserting and fantasizing about being with other people (real or not) herself, I wouldn't be comfortable with that. That's not a distinction I realized I had until the last couple of days.

I'd love to hear what your thoughts on the topic are. I expect most people to disagree or have different views, but that's alright. I'm just curious what everyone else thinks and if anyone can relate.

... I also just Googled before posting this whether most people think looking at porn is cheating or not, and was overwhelmingly met with people saying no, which is kind of crazy to me as that completely goes against basically everyone I've ever talked to about this offline and have dated. Maybe that's because I've mostly lived in conservative areas. Either way, now typing this all up feels a bit silly, but it is what it is. I guess next time I know to Google what I believe is a commonly held belief before I type something up about it. Still curious, though.