My wife Fantasy and I'm still uncomfortable with it.

So my wife said she has a fantasy of watching me have sex with a woman and even cuming inside her. I've never been with anyone else, so I'm a little uncomfortable with the idea. I love her, but idk. We've talked about this in length, and I guess she's had this fantasy for years now, and she's just couldn't hold it in anymore. I'm not sure what to do or say. Even the next step I should take with this. Oh, she's been with others she is my first and only, but I'm not hers..... we've been together for 18 years.

Looking for a preferably female therapist to perform physical therapy to S2, S4, bulbospongiosus muscle, prostate, and pudendal nerves. I have overly sensitive BS reflex due to chronic subconscious tightening of that system. As a result, pain and inflammation of penis tissue can last 2-4 days after edging for improved control. Premature repeated BS contractions during stimulation lead to unfulfilling orgasms. Goal is for better control of sexual function and without pain. Urology Associates do not offer anything like that and they don’t have any recommendations.

Hello, I have anways been facinated by the human body, but mostly by the sexual functions. I seem to have this intrigue about eroticism, and how everything relates to the human experience.

I would like to study, deconstruct, and critique (mostly "amateur) pornography. I am fascinated about seeing human sexuality acted out and practiced. I also try to see if there are any artistic merits to the content depicted in the video. Such as the meaning of the film. What the film represents to those who made it, and how others view it.

However, it is highly difficult to find fellow individuals who share the same ideas as me. Sometimes I feel like a joke, but I often find myself looking at pornography for all the reasons people jokingly say they do it, but I am serious.

There is also a massive amount of disrespect present. For example, if I wanted to discuss a film with someone, ideally it would be more akin to a book report or film breakdown. Most people are unable to maintain any professionalism. I understand that arrousal may happen, but people often go off the rails. I can only describe it as I think they're whipping it out behind their screen and am going into "disrespect the hoe" mode.

I have met only a handful of people who can tolerate a degree of professionalism.

Should I try to pursue this, or is it a lost cause?

Hello everyone! This is my first post here, yay.

I (30, male, gay and in a long distance relationship for the last 5 years, the last ~2 years open) find myself feeling strangely about my relationship to sexual desire lately and I'm trying to understand what is going on with me. Basically, I used to think of myself as a very sexual person. Hypersexual even. I remember that in my early twenties up to, say, 27-28 I used to feel horny way more often. I would get more spontaneous erections, I would fantasise more often and intensely and I would want sex something like 3-4 times per week. I wasn't always getting that, of course, but I would certainly desire it.

Hence why, when 3,5 years ago I moved to another country away from my boyfriend, I thought it would be really hard to abstain so much. In the beginning we had a closed relationship, and we went through many periods of tension because basically, I was feeling miserable for having to deny myself sex, and having to wait for 1, 2 maybe 3 months before I could have any. Adding to that that we already had mismatched libidos (me wanting it more, him wanting it less), there was a lot of pressure on it being perfect when we met. Which, naturally, it wasn't, not all the time. Cue more frustration and tension.

Tentatively, and after my suggestion and many negotiations, we started including more people in our sex lives. First, in threesomes and group experiences where we were both included, then slowly tried having sex with others when we are apart. In the beginning, my boyfriend imposed a lot of limitations (x amount of times per month, or x amount of people, etc), which made it too complicated. Eventually, we moved to a more laissez-faire arrangement, as he also got more comfortable and started seeing more benefits for himself. It was a bumpy ride, but in the end we found a balance that works for us, for the last six months let's say.

Life is funny, however, because after having put so much effort to achieve what I thought I wanted - namely, to not have to limit myself from a rich and varied sex life such as I imagined it - I am not excited about it anymore. Now that I have the freedom, I find myself less horny. In theory, I could go out and try to hook up and have fun, but in practice I've just had some fairly mediocre sex. In addition, the fantasies are more sparse and less intense. The erections last less. The excitement is very low. The anticipation not there. I've been in situations (eg sex clubs), and I met some guys, which normally, in my younger years, would make me really really horny, and I used to fantasise about. But now when I get there, I don't feel like it.

Ironically, my life is generally getting better and better. Finally, after so many years, I don't feel stressed about the future. I feel confident. I have a well paying job and time for hobbies, friends and interests. I have never felt more content with my life. I'm finally renting my own apartment. I've been seeing a therapist who has helped acknowledge many negative patterns in my thoughts that had been troubling me for long. I'm very happy with my relationship and feel real love for my boyfriend. We might move in very soon, which is getting me excited. The sex between us is fantastic, although the libidos are still mismatched and I would still want it somewhat more adventurous. However, it's less of a problem because my libido has lowered, approaching his more closely. Which is not the direction I wanted them to match (!) and I feel a bit sad about it! I have also lately acknowledged, that our love has definitely moved from a stage of infatuation, "being in love", to a more familial, companionate love, and that probably happened early in the relationship.

I am also considering some physiological factors that might play a role: terrible sleeping habits (sleeping late, not sleeping enough), not being careful with my eating and not exercising very much. These haven't really changed from the past, but maybe they are a bigger factor now for some reason.

I'm writing here in case anyone has had similar experiences or feelings with their sex drive, sex life or desire for sex and intimacy in general. I'm trying to understand this. What changed? How have I changed? I'm experiencing this reduction in desire as a loss - I long to feel excited, to have a crush, to have vivid, strong fantasies that take me on sexual adventures again, and I'm sad that something that I considered a characteristic of me isn't there. Do you have any advice on how to perceive this? I'm probably viewing this from a very narrow and personal lens, so I'd love to hear different angles.

Sorry for the long and possibly incoherent post. It's a very open-ended question, so I hope it ends up in an interesting discussion!

21F, I'm someone who's been habitually masturbating on a semi-regular basis (with on-and-off periods of interest) for almost a decade, and I have never experienced negative feelings (sadness, anxiety) during it prior unless I had other reasons to feel that way.

Only very recently, as of about 2 weeks ago, it became the case that any time I touch my genitals in a sensual manner I am immediately hit with strong feelings of upset, anxiety, discomfort that can stick with me for 10-20 minutes after the contact is made, which has heavily dissuaded me from masturbating since it began. It has even occurred on accident when adjusting my position in a seat in a manner which happened to stimulate me, and I could not enjoy my dinner.

However, my libido remains and I still experience sexual arousal, and no bad feelings innately tied to that sexual arousal, as they only arise if I make any attempt to sexually stimulate myself in response to sexual arousal. I've experimented with it a few times despite my fear of the "despairing" feeling that results and found that it happens most immediately and strongly upon contact with the clitoris, but if other parts are touched and the clitoris is avoided it evens out into a mild discomfort (but enough so to turn me off)

I've been searching on Google for answers and haven't been able to find any answers that don't pertain to post-sexual trauma or it being a result of a learned discomfort with sexuality. There have been no recent changes in my life in particular, nothing out of the ordinary occurred within the timeframe surrounding when it began. I really don't know what could have caused this or how long it will last.

Does anyone here have any insight?

(Note: I do have a history of sexual dysfunction, as I did not get my first period until I was 16, and I was unable to achieve orgasm until I was 19 years old despite regular attempts, and even now can only achieve orgasm after up to 2 hours of concentrated sexual stimulation. I generally masturbate more casually without the intention to orgasm because of this.)

My (M32) wife (F29) are going on a weekend trip to celebrate our 5th anniversary, and I'm trying to make it a very passionate and romantic weekend. We're not staying at a fancy hotel, just a normal one. A few things about us. We're very vanilla in bed, and tend to do the same fingering-missionary/cowgirl routine. I'm a lot more interested in trying different things than she is. She's not a fan of oral. She's willing to give, if I wear a condom, but she says that receiving does nothing for her. We're still using condoms, and we've never done it bare, but the discussion of going bare and maybe trying for a baby has been had, and is possible, but we're unsure. What are some ways that we can have a very passionate, sexy weekend at a hotel? Any tips or ideas are very much welcome! Thanks!

Phantom (ghost) orgasms? I have a very special friend and we have been having a lot of fun together. Sometimes there is wild sex for six hours back to back! lol I recently got out of a relationship where things were not happening under the sheets, what an awakening, sometimes you just never know until it happens or the right chemistry?!

Question: Has anyone experienced being with a girl who is introverted (I am very extroverted) and has a very quiet almost undetectable orgasm even though she can experience big orgasms? I realized maybe one of the reasons why I gladly work her hard in bed with her is that I aim to please but also I never know when she's cumming!!! I just keep pounding steadily (at her request)! 😛🥰

So instead I remain In machine mode giving it hard and fast like she likes it! Literally I don't know if she has a climax so we made this new disclosure that she has to tell me when she for so many reasons…

Sometimes it's fun to go at the same time. It's also good to know that I'm doing a good job taking her to where she wants to go! Also it's easy to mirror the arousal of your partner durning intimacy and orgasms but the ghost orgasm is throwing me off…😐

Any thoughts on the silent climax'er when you are used to a out spoken receiver. Imk? Is it a conditioned habit? Can it be reversed? Would it be fake for them to be more vocal? I literally can’t get her to say anything other than she is about to ✨😬 Thx for any input!

I’ve seen a few different products for at home STI testing. I’m feeling great and am a healthy man. I want to improve my frequency to take better care of my health and be safer and be more proactive.

How do you prefer to get testing done? At home? At a location? Curious to understand this process better.

I grew up with serious stigmas about STDs and that sex would basically lead to death or pregnancy lol. I’m undoing that crap over time. Thanks for your thoughts and sharing your perspective!

I feel like I give my sexual partners trauma every time I ask to be spanked or slightly choked… I just enjoy the release of control and dominance and understand why I enjoy that. However, everything says it’s not healthy but I can’t imagine not being able to have that in sex. Like I am able to reach climax without it, but mentally (being a sapiosexual) I want more than physical release. To be clear I don’t like being disrespected, it’s a control thing.

So I (34 bi M) and my fiancée (31 straight F) have talked at length for quite some time about exploring some sexual experiences with other people. We have been together almost three and a half years, and I have been open with her about my sexuality from the very beginning. She had never really known much about bisexual men at all before she met me, but she’s very interested.

After about a year we started experimenting with pegging and she (and I, of course) absolutely loves it. We watch gay and bi porn, and we talk openly about my past sexual experiences. I have been with many men back in my younger days, and although they have been nearly exclusively one-time hookups, I have been with a lot more men than women. But I have always been hetero-romantic and my long term relationships have been with women. I haven’t been with a man in a number of years.

Anyway, we’ve been talking a lot about me branching out and having some man-on-man fun, which is very exciting. She does not want to be involved at first, as she wants me to have my own experiences and she is not into watching. She is open to some threesome experiences or something similar down the road, but she just wants me to have my fun for now.

She’s all for it and I’m all for it, but we want to make sure we do things right. We’ve talked about healthy open communication, respecting boundaries and things like that. But I wanted to check with other sex positive people and see if there are any tips or advice out there about something we may have not considered before. We both want this, but we want it to fit into our already healthy and strong relationship. We are confident we can make that happen, but again I just thought I’d check with you beautiful people and whatever advice you may have as we embark on this exciting journey.

Thanks!

Feeling frustrated and with an intense sexual urge. We’ve gone from an adventurous couple to nothing at all. I love my girlfriend dearly, everything else is perfect, but she’s dealing with hormonal issues and weight gain, leading to a complete loss of sexual desire. The issue is, I’m hypersexual with a strong libido and a need for frequent new experiences. While she was on board before, that’s no longer the case. I’m at a loss for what to do, and masturbation isn’t cutting it anymore

edit: We’ve discussed the issue multiple times, but I sense she’s hitting a roadblock. I’m highly empathetic and provide her with all the love she requires. I express to her how beautiful I find her, how much I love her, and I show her affection. I attempt to propose alternative sexual options, yet she remains uninterested. It’s been over two years now!

How to protect ?

Questions about Basic Sex Education!

• So I and my GF will be having sex for the first time and I’ll use a delay spray which contains lidocaine and alcohol and I’ll use a latex condom!

• so like is it safe to use together will it decrease the quality of condom ?

• We want to avoid pregnancy under any circumstances so like what are things to keep in mind, while doing it everytime ?

How to protect ?

Questions about Basic Sex Education!

• So I and my GF will be having sex for the first time and I’ll use a delay spray which contains lidocaine and alcohol and I’ll use a latex condom!

• so like is it safe to use together will it decrease the quality of condom ?

• We want to avoid pregnancy under any circumstances so like what are things to keep in mind, while doing it everytime ?

I genuinely have tried looking for them and can’t find anything reliable. I tried the app version of FetLife and only chatted with 3 ppl when using it for 3 months and had 0 luck. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated since this is one of my biggest fantasies

Update: love the positivity and advice! I will take into account all of your suggestions/recommendations. I’m still pretty new to it all so please excuse my ignorance/misuse of terminology😅good luck in your endeavors 🫶🏽

I tend to get very Horny on my period, but refrain from sex because I don’t want to make a mess in the bedroom. Is there a “sanitary” way to have intercourse on your period that doesn’t make a mess? If that makes sense like throw a towel down? In the shower? Floor?

I'm 43 and Came out a 16 year long relationship recently... Mostly because my libido skyrocketed and I'm having some kind of sexual revolution like I've never had before...but also I'm hypersexual, which took me a while to figure out why none of my matches had quite as intense sex drive as me... And therefore I probably come off as a right lunatik 😆

The first time I ever used dating sites was just a few months ago... And I have been really just finding myself through all of the experiences I've had since then...

I've been confused, hopeless, sad, hurt, frustrated

But also excited, happy, interested and feel like life is full of possibilities

I've been though a dip recently because of my encounters with some men did not feel good for me... It seems I have quite a submissive side that wants to please men...and this side of me is vulnerable and easy to hurt... And I think these men are not sex positive and still have things to learn

But now... I feel like another side of me is emerging... A side that puts up with less bullshit and is more self assured and assertive...

I'm learning to move on easier from encounters that are not panning out too.

This feels quite positive and can only do me good in my future encounters...

I have my reddit community to thank for much of my progress... I know that's kinda messed up but it is what it is.

Anyone can relate or have something to share with me? I want to learn and explore more about this...

Don't know if this is the right sub for this but wasn't sure where else to go. Hi, I'm 18, cis girl (mostly) and I've only recently started having sexual feelings in specific scenarios. Not sure if I'm just a late bloomer or if it's because of the antidepressants I've been on since I was 14, or if I just fully didn't recognise my own feelings (happens embarrassingly often).

I've been feeling more sexual recently and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I know next to nothing about that kind of thing, other than the BASIC basics - as in sperm fertilise egg penis vagina etc. I don't know if I was never taught, if I was taught and forgot (trauma from teens makes this likely) or if I'm just a bit dim. I come from a very Christian household where masturbating and sex before marriage are big no-nos, and I don't think this is something I can communicate to my parents about.

Honestly, it's still quite a terrifying thing for me. I felt deeply ashamed even typing this out and I'm very worried that if I did do anything my parents would walk in. Guess the religious trauma runs deeper than I thought 😅

Not expecting everybody here to give me a full explanation (although that's fine), just pointing me to some resources would be nice!! Thank you and sorry if this is a bit overshare-y 😬

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3rIC8pqWt44fRbmiPzuVt6?si=04ea952bede9497a

I only watch it when I need to get a release like once or twice a week. When I'm not aroused or horn I'm full on nerd watching science fiction or some documentary on YouTube. Am I still consuming too much porn when I'm aroused though?

Hi! I am a 21 years old girl, not too long ago i posted some selfies on a rating subreddit (i know, dumb) and a random dude, well many of them, approached me on my dms, thing that i was NOT looking for, but this specific one offered me money for suggestive photos, honestly, photos i had posted on my public insta before, literally ootd and things like that. In total he paid me like 20€ for 3 photos that had 0 sexual appealing in my eyes (I am voluptuos but i was in no way naked, in some of them i wasnt even showing my arms lmfao) could we say i was even selling porn or nudes? is very confusing, and he was extremely interested in having conversation and getting to know me better, which was pretty confusing. This exchange lasted literally for two days, because i feltnlike shit, dirty and like an object. I’ve always considered myself a pretty competent person lmfao i study and i dont have any struggles for money, but it looked so innocent i dived in. I jnow this may look dumb to many but it made me feel so miserable and so low value it still kind of haunts me to this day. What could i do to feel valuable or decent again? I don’t have anything against people that sell nudes, i believe in liberty and respect but i dont see myself doing those things and i feel like i failed myself and all the good effort i put into my job intellectually. I feel like i will never be the same or like my moral or feminist values and things like that no longer matter because i did this :( I am reading you guys’ opinions

For those who don't live with a partner, what tips do you have for others wanting to practice sex positivity alone?

As the title states, looking for advice for my SO. For context, she was raised in a very sex negative way. Like abstinence was to be celebrated, and anything related to sex is a bad thing and the world will think less of her for engaging in anything sexual. Despite that, we have grown as a couple and I have helped her to experiment beyond her comfort zone and we have a solid sex life, one I am satisfied with.

The only constant struggle is With anything regarding sex, such as pictures, talk, and even sex in general sometimes, is her anxiety and feelings of shame surrounding sex. This is a result to her upbringing, she assures me she’s happy with her sex life, but then basically mentally shuts down from anxiety over sending a sexy pic or if someone heard us fooling around.

Is there any advice to help? Books? I’ve already suggested therapy, but she wants to try other alternatives first and I support her decision. Any help is appreciated, thanks

Tw / sexual assault/childhood sexual assault.

I’m a 25 F and my partner is a 27 M (trans man). He is genuinely perfect. He makes me feel so safe, connected and loved when we’re intimate. During the deed, I feel safe. I know he won’t hurt me and our time together is fun and exciting. But initiating, either myself or him, makes me feel so nervous. What if he touches me wrong? I trusted the person who assaulted me when I was a child and I’m scared it will happen with my partner because I trust him. Having sex isn’t scary but starting to get in the mood scares me. I feel disgusted for wanting to do it. I feel repulsed for wanting/needing sex. I feel like it’s wrong for me to enjoy it. Cause my first introduction to it was so disturbing since I was a kid and it was non-consensual.

How do I deal with this? Trust, I have a wonderful support system. I have great girlfriends, my partner is SO understanding and never has ever pressured me to do anything I don’t want to do and I have a great sex positive therapist. But I want to physically connect with my partner without that initial fear and disgust. I want to get out of my head and feel free and sexy and brave. I do desperately want to get to that point. Any advice is helpful! Thanks a ton ☺️💗