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Need some advice

Hi people,

After reading quite a few posts over here), I need some advice.

My wife of 15 years has been lately asking me to open the relationship.

In all fairness, I'm not that sexually active with her, but at the same time I have never been that wel.

We married very inloved, but over the years we lost trat spark. Tried quite a few things, but the flame doss not really come back.

A friend from her office has become quite close to her and I think he has made some advances. She has told me there is nothing serious, but I reckon there is something happening in her mind already.

In general, her mood has changed for better. She seems more startled, laughing more and I have even found her more in deeper thoughts than before.

More recently, I have realised ahe has masturbated a couple of times after we go to bed, but she has stopped asking me to be part of any intimacy.

In recent days, when we spoke about Luke, her friend, she looks more relaxed and chatty, you would say, almost comfortable. One day last week, after speaking about him, I noticed while changing clothes in our room, she was wet, like her underwear was clearly wet... We kind of joke about it, but she wa sbetween embarrased and happy.

We have a 10 years girl that we love to the core, and she is certainly very important in our lives, but I understand that my wife has needs that I'm bot able to cover in different ways.

She wants to bring him for dinner next week as is his birthday and he lives alone with no family around. Whilst I feel sorry for the guy to a degree, the idea is kind of exciting, but I'm slightly afraid of opening a can of worms.

Should I be worried?

Any advice?

Hi Everyone

I was wondering if any of you has involved in Nutrisim or nudism group where you & your partner would expose your naked body to the public or nude Beaches. I am really hoping to convince my future wife to do this with me and let her have a body freedom. Any experience?

thank you all

So my long term bf (35m) and I (32f) have started swinging at the beginning of the year. We have had a few mfms but wanted a more regular fwb type guy.

We found one three weeks ago and have currently had 2 mfms and I (f) have met him solo twice. (This is something my bf is fine with as he has a kink for me being with another man then going to him).

So boundaries were discussed and all my bf said was no lieing or private messaging unless it was to arrange a solo meet. The other guy only started sending snaps to me as he would anyone, nothing sexual etc. which I thought was fine. Was not all day or anything, with the odd one word chat.

After our second solo meet he messaged asking how I felt and we had a few flirty messages but again that was it. I didn’t tell my partner and he found out by lookint through my phone. He went mental and sent horrible messages to the other guy and threatening him and everything.

My bf and i discussed everything and I was honest and told him I want that level of friendship with this other guy, if he is going to be a regular fwb then I need that. He has said that this is ok and he apologised to the other guy. I also messaged to make sure he was ok because he actually said it really scared him and he doesn’t do confrontation. Anyway my bf and this guy have a similar interest and have been discussing about meeting up etc and he seems keen still and said he likes us both etc.

But as it stands I feel like he has distanced hisself from us. I’m trying to figure out how he could be feeling about the whole situation. I didn’t know whether to just give him some space. I feel really bad for him because he is such a nice person and really respectful.

I love my bf and we have a good relationship but I do care for this other guy and honestly would be gutted if he decided he didn’t want to do it anymore. But yeah so for anyone who may have experienced this, please comment! Or just any advice/opinions please!

Sorry for the cryptic title, But I (20M)- am in a romantic relationship with my bf (20M).

I am non monogamous, and went into the relationship open about this, and he said he had no issue with it. And honestly, he did not. It was mostly casual kissing with people in clubs and what not, nothing special. We communicated about someone I wanted to get involved with more regularly (A), and whilst it was a serious and difficult discussion, we came to the conclusion that me being constantly anxious about what was okay with him was not healthy, and so I was free to go about as I pleased (I do not love the power that comes with vitos). this all sounds selfish so far, but I am checking in with him regularly, and he agrees this is the best course of action, and that me sleeping with others doesn't make him upset. He is obviously also free to do so as he pleases, but he mainly just enjoys making out with people in clubs.

Things with A have been going great since, and recently they visited me at university. I let my bf know, and he got quite sad, he was not upset at me, nor was it anything I had done wrong, but he couldn't help but feel inadequate, or not engaging enough, despite knowing I love him to bits, and I'm never disappointed by him. I think its a little bit of a honeymoon situation where I'm fairly interested in this new connection I have forged, I know this will fade. He is not hurt by the arrangement generally, but when he is reminded, it does make him sad sometimes. He says this isn't his natural way of dating, and it takes adjusting, but that he worries he will never be desensitised to it. This scares me, the idea we may not be compatible is agonising, and I want to try, because he really is amazing.

I have some hope that his issues aren't necessarily with me sleeping with others fundamentally, but feeling inadequate as a result, which I feel we can work on.

Does anyone have any advice? or do you think it is inherently doomed?

Me and my wife divorced 1.5 year ago and I have no regrets about the divorce despite her initiate it. To keep it short. I came out bi (sexual only) and based on a solid relationship for 9 years she suggested an open relationship to allow me to explore. Which i did to some extent. She met a guy on a conference and they kissed. I was alright with that. But also knew she claimed need for feelings to be interested in sex. I tried to continue our talks about expectations and boundaries. I had made it very clear to her that if she felt uncomfortable at any point for whatever we called it nonmonogamy of. I did what i could to make her feel safe. But when she met this guy things moved fast. They don't live in the same country and by an "accident" there were soon a trip to his home town. She was not sure if he would be in town, but as soon as she knew he was well they met. I was ok about this until she cut me of and didn't want to talk about our initial talks about expectations and boundaries. I felt she did exactly what she wanted no matter what, rules or expectations not applying to her. She also missed every single pre established times for a phone call. I am just curious if i have grounds for feeling i was cheated on or if i was ignorant? She is to this day together with this 10yo younger guy and have tried to get pregnant. I am standing on both feet feeling happy that i am not involved with a narcissist.

New to the life, we have been using tinder to moderate success, 2 meetings. The question is where do people go to find a woman who likes the idea of being with a man while his woman watches. Sometimes she participates and sometimes she just watches depends on the unicorn rules limits. Thank you.

I’ve(28F) recently found a partner(37M) that is open to threesomes and it’s part of his lifestyle with partners. I am interested in it as well but I never been with someone as serious about them. He offered to find the third but I wanted to find them myself. The third(31M) is someone I’m more familiar and comfortable with as we do have more in common.

Since I’ve never done one before and well I’m the main course/center of attention what should I be careful about or should make sure they do. I have asked both individually what they are each comfortable with and what boundaries they have(which are normal straight ones). The day of I kind of want to ask for a cute little date with one of them so I can pretty much be buttered up for it…and I kind of want flowers too…is this extra and I’m being too much?? I also feel like maybe they should met without me(?) just so they aren’t too awkward when they first meet(?). I’m contemplating taking a small edible too..I’m not sure about it yet.

I wrote a post yesterday, which was a bit of big sigh and a vent. I want to thank you if you showed some support, as it’s appreciated.

Though, I did get thinking about whether I’m ‘pre-rejecting’ myself. It’s good to double- and triple-check these potential blind spots.

So, a scenario/question to the ladies/femmes of NM: You are in a public, social environment. Could be a farmers market, pub/bar, coffee shop, bookshop, whatever you like that makes sense in your own head. An attractive person of your chosen gender is there. I’m a man, so let’s say it’s me. You don’t know me. Picture an attractive person to you in your head for this one. 😁

The question: How would you act around me?

From my point of view, you are attractive, and I will want to make prolonged eye contact with you to gauge whether you find me initially attractive too, then I can acknowledge that with a smile or nod.

In reality, when I do get eye contact, it’s a brief glance and a look away back to what they were doing. It feels like being stared through, but that could be my perception. To my head, this is a clear: “They do not have all the attraction”. Sometimes, I get a smile, which I take to be a polite acknowledgement. I once read that smiling can be a defensive tactic, so I put less stock into it.

So, I basically look for prolonged, reciprocal eye contact, which never, ever happens. Something tells me I’m either looking for the wrong thing, or I’m a super-ugg to you. 🤣 As my original post hints at, I will often think it’s the second thing, which is weird because I have a lot of self-worth and respect for myself. However, I’m starting to suspect it’s the first thing instead!

I have actually never considered that women who find me attractive would absolutely not show it due to nerves or awkwardness or myriad other reasons 😅😅😅😅

So, how do you act around attractive people, and how can understand what to spot to take another step?

My dating app profile says I'm bisexual and non-monogamous. A woman matched and then went on a rant about how she would never sleep with a woman who was also having sex with men at the same time.

🤦‍♀️ . I told her it wouldn't be at the same time. It would be on different days.

She was unamused.

Me (28) and my partner (26) have been together for about nearly 8 years and no monogamous for I'd say around 2 years. Now I've had my problems with a non monogamous relationship before we even met and I do have insecurities that I'm working on. I've been reading and watching some advices on how to deal with my own jealousy. It's been going pretty well for the past few months, now my partner is maybe going to start getting close to someone new, I barely know her and for some reason him texting her a lot and spending lots of time on his phone talking to her has made me jealous. We've been long distance before and I never really dealt with him texting people lots while we're together before. I've told him and he's been really trying his best to reassure me and has been nothing but the sweetheart he usually is. Yet anytime he tells me about a conversation he's had with her where it doesn't even get flirty but just idk extra friendly...I get a negative feeling - I don't want to be jealous, I absolutely hate it. It makes it worse that I don't even feel like there's any reason to be jealous and I feel bad for putting my partner through all that again. Is there a way to get rid of jealousy?

Brief backstory, my bf and I are in our late 30s. We have been discussing doing a foursome for awhile. Group sex is a long time fantasy of mine. We have a mf married couple we are interested in and exploring with dates and taking. Nothing physical yet but it’s getting close. We have communicated a tonne and jealous is pretty much a non issue at this point.

Last night we were talking about something sexual. He pulled up porn hub to show me something, and I saw his search history. He had been using descriptors to search up scenes using descriptors of the wife we are seeing (tall, thin, etc). He was also searching threesome scenes. So clearly he’s thinking about it. But I couldn’t help but feel a little sad that he’s not looking at images of body types similar to mine anymore. I know he used to do this when he watched porn (find women similar to me). I did ask him about it and he said of course he does, that he was also looking up threesomes n stuff. I’m not jealous he was looking at the wife more so just feeling a little like “old news” I guess. Part of me finds it really hot, and the other part is like “you should be insecure, he wants something new” How can I discuss and overcome this?

Him and I have both emphasized that we are doing this for the shared experience together, not because we are dissatisfied or want to be with other people, but because we want the experience together.

We opened up our marriage about 2 years ago. I started a relationship and she created some online profiles. My relationship got too serious too fast. That’s my fault. I hadn’t dated anyone since her and missed/ignored some red flags. It ended so badly, I decided not to date anyone for a while.

She went on a few dates and had some sexual encounters. After a while, she decided she didn’t really know what she wanted and was finding herself in people pleasing mode too often. Her encounters were fun, but she was wasn’t ever satisfied by any of them.

Neither of us have a lot of experience with other partners. She says she doesn’t think she wants to date or have hookups with anyone else but is fine if I do. I’m just now feeling that I want to date or play with others. There are kinks that I’m into that she tried and seemed into, but has since pulled back from.

She says she understands if others can fulfill a need that she can’t. I want to believe her but she also still struggles with people pleasing and I’m worried that she is saying that to please me.

We communicate well in most other things. I’m just not sure how to draw out her feelings and maybe help her figure out what she wants. She’ll be into something, and then not, and then into it again.

I'm ENM/Poly and in love with my best friend. I'm unsure of the ethical implications of my relationship with them while they are in a monogamous marriage. Is this a healthy position to remain in for myself? Do I need to pull back? Do I need to cut off the relationship? Should I tell them about my feelings? I'm afraid that I could be hurting myself or possibly her marriage. I'm feeling stuck

Been having troubles getting matches or dates for about a year now. I know as a male I’m going to have a harder time compared to my spouse, that doesn’t bother me as much. But would taking out the note I’m in an open marriage be a bad decision and not bringing it up when going on dates?

My partner and I are in a 2 years relationship. She is taking medicines and her libido is very low. 3 years ago I broke with a very fundamentalist-religious way of life and started to live my sexuality with her. Our chemical is great, and, when we have sex, it's amazing, but I reallly wanted It to be more frequent. Talking about our feelings, she suggested and open relationship. It's very easy for her, but not so much for me. I understand, rationally, and It seems good to me, in my mind, even because I never have been with a man and explored my bissexuality. Maybe, my insecurities come just from my religious past, wich make me think that I will not be with anyone, while she is really more experienced, and will have much more dates. Also, It's a little strange for me to think about opening when our sex life isn't at the point I fell 100% satisfied. We talked about all of this and she is very respectful with my feelings, while I'm really not forcing her to anything too. We have really good dialogue, and are taking it slowly, living everything spontaneously. What I want from u guys is some sort of advice, experience, ideas. Have anyone gone through something similar? What have you done?

If you have a religious past and want to talk with me, about how to overcome the prejudices and experience something new, I would appreciate it too.

Back in October I started seeing a girl who is non monogamous and going through divorce due to her wanting to remain non monogamous but her husband did not among other issues. We hit things off and we were seeing each other weekly and talked all the time, each said that we loved each other. She would come over and spend time with my wife, kids, and our friends. She had two other partners one being long distance and one not, and then sometime in December an old friend of hers contacted her and heard she was divorced. She asked met up with and talked to me about potentially being a long term friends with benefits situation which I told her I was okay with my only concern was if it would affect our time together or getting to see each other. Not long after in January we were together one day and had a good time told each other I love you multiple times throughout the day and then in the middle of the night she unexpectedly ended things and mentioned that me asking about the fwb was a huge issue for her and that I was making it about me. I was and still am very hurt about it all because of how she acted when she ended things she was a completely different person. She was cold and uncaring and not like the person any of us knew. My kids were devastated because they felt very close to her and loved when she would come around and spend time with us and go out. I know breakups are never easy and never go how anyone wants or expects but I truly thought with how we were if it ever happened it might have been more amicable and not how she handled it. I also think my biggest issue I still struggle with is feeling like I never got closure because she ended things and pretty much cut all contact soon after. Does it get any easier when you don’t feel like you had closure and still really don’t understand what went wrong when it seemed like nothing was wrong at all?

Title. My (bi) straight best friend asked me to find a girl willing to have sex with the two of us. Dunno where to look for, but I like the idea!

My gf and I (were both 21) have been talking about an open relationship for a few months. We’re now 2,5 years in our relationship. We both thought it would be fun and we both wanted to take it very slow and talk about our feelings along the way as to not hurt each other or the relationship.

2 days ago she went on a second date with someone and they had sex 2 times. During the day before I knew this I was already feeling uneasy about the fact that she may be having sex, even though I thought I would be fine with it. She had kissed with some people and it didn’t matter to me at al. But this is different. She told me she really liked it, after that I completely broke down. We basically never have sex 2 times in one day so that made me really insecure. Why does she want that with him but not with me.

Our sex life has been a bit tough sometimes because my gf just has a hard time with it. She’s autistic and adhd so she can’t focus very well sometimes and says that it’s just hard to concentrate on having sex. Which is fine, I love her and want her to feel safe. A lot of times it’s great though but also sometimes it’s not.

But when she told me that having sex with this guy who was very rough in bed and had a bigger dick (something I’m very insecure about) I lost it. It hurt me so much that it was so easy for her with someone else.

I went to her for affirmation. She was in shock that it hurt me so badly. She tried to affirm my feelings but when she did I wouldn’t believe it. I cried for like 2 hours before we went to sleep.

The next day we talked about it more, and she said all the affirming things I needed and I told her I was really sorry about not believing her affirmations. Then she told me that she didn’t know if she wanted to be in this relationship anymore, because of doubts and thinking an open relationship is really something that interests her. Even though we agreed that if someone wanted to stop with the open relationship we would immediately do that, this was really important to me. So I broke down again. I never had any doubts about her I love her so much. Later that day she told me she wasn’t really thinking straight and she didn’t really have doubts, but idk.

She called with her sister and later told me she wanted to be with me in an mono relationship. But she can’t promise she doesn’t want to be open again in the future.

I’m pretty sure being open isn’t for me. I have to work on my insecurities and trust her. But still I think I even if I read a lot of stuff ad really work on myself I still think I don’t want it. But she says she really liked it whic just makes me insecure again about my penis and performance.

Now 2 days later I told her that it hurts me so much to think that she had sex with someone else and that she liked it so much and they did it twice which we never do. She says she feels really bad for me. Then she said she finds it hard to break of the contact with him which hurt me even more, but she broke it off.

Today she’s is reflecting on the situation. I’m just really scared that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore, even though yesterday she said she wanted to be with me I’m still very scared

And if she wants to be with me which I assume I’m scared she’ll want to open up the relationship again.

I don’t know what my question is exactly. I just feel really insecure about my sexual performance and feel like I’m not good enough for her. I love her so much.

If something isn’t clear let me know

My girlfriend and I have been in non-monogamy since we started dating 9 months ago, but I'm having such an awful time processesing jealousy lately. I know she's been limiting herself with what she actually wants to do because I've just been so bad handling it lately. I want to be open and I enjoy my encounters with friends/others but when ever she has plans I get so distressed, and sob uncontrollably before and after she's left for a date. She keeps telling me we don't have to be open but I want to be open. I just feel like there is something so fundementally flawed with me. I just don't know what I'm doing anymore.

(“Lesbian?” “The other L word.” “Lesbians???”)

To make things brief, you can peep my post history for the full context if you’re truly interested. I’ve (24F) been dating my S/O (27M) for 5 years now, open from the start. We cohabitate, co-pet-parent, and are in a standard “riding the relationship escalator” relationship. It’s going pretty damn great.

I’ve also been seeing Comet Partner (24M) for like 6 years on and off (we meet approx. a couple of times a year), and we’ve been friends for almost a decade. We’ve had our ups and downs, but that dynamic has been strictly FWB, with heavy emphasis on friendship. That’s also currently going pretty well.

Semi-recently, I came out as aromantic (again, see previous posts). I’ve always found it personally difficult to differentiate between “romantic” and “platonic” feelings, and thus I have stopped bothering to do so. Nothing in any of my relationships, romantic or otherwise, has fundamentally changed. Just because I’m aro doesn’t mean I don’t love people, haha.

Anyways, Comet and I have a little meetup coming up. I’d like to be able to better express how I feel about him, if it does come up and he feels comfortable with it, using a certain three word phrase. You know the one. The one with the L word.

Recognizing that this specific phrase has a LOT of (probably unnecessary) societal weight attached to it, I asked S/O well in advance if he’s comfy with me using That Phrase with my other partners. He… is not. And that’s fine! Not my most desired outcome, but it’s workable and it’s also a part of why I bring up potential friction points way before they arise. We had a productive discussion, I was able to establish an exception for weird edge cases (like, if one of us is getting wheeled away in an ambulance or getting sent off to war or something lmao). Plus, I can (and do) express my love for my partners in all kinds of other verbal or physical ways aside from saying That Phrase. All is well.

But then I realized, dear god, what about the extremely unlikely occurrence that a PARTNER says those words to me first??? There are, like, ZERO truly good ways to respond to “I love you” that aren’t “I love you too.” Either I have to hide what I truly want to say to my partner (which is in fact “I love you too”), or I have to have a horribly awkward roundabout conversation about the agreements my S/O and I have set (poor relationship hygiene! mess!), or I can say it to partner and then HIDE THAT from my S/O (fuck no, that defeats the purpose of being transparent and negotiating agreements in advance!!). It’s a lose-lose-lose for me.

After that revelation, I asked about an exception clause for that specific type of scenario and was turned down. On one hand, I’m okay with that and will totally respect my S/O’s personal comfort level with that. It’s not world-ending. Comet is awkward, avoidant attachment AF, and pretty emotionally-closed-off, so the odds of it happening in THAT dynamic are quite low.

On the other hand, I have diagnosed anxiety and just the thought of being potentially in that one specific horribly awkward situation makes me a little bit ill :”) also I have other partners who play a little faster and looser with that kinda mushy stuff. I don’t want to put myself in a corner here.

Idk Reddit, what do you think? I want all of y’all’s opinions, since S/O expressed interest in reading some comments together if I did ask the internet about this. Not to change minds, just to get other perspectives.

[Inb4 “break up”: this is not that serious lolol. I don’t have a huge relationship-ending problem with my S/O having Feelings about specific intimacy/“romance” rituals (especially since I’m otherwise basically given free rein to do whatever the fuck I want), and I’m happy to discuss and negotiate agreements around those feelings. This is just one of those scenarios where we each bring different perspectives to the table, and that causes a low-stakes disagreement since we can’t fully see where the other person’s coming from.]

Long story short: I(27f) am really struggling with a lot of anxiety, panic attacks, unstableness due to my wife (30f) starting her journey of nonmonogamy. We have been open since we got together 4.5 years ago but I’m usually the more outgoing one. This week that changed along with a lot of things that I guess I wasn’t expecting? Neither of us have been on this side of things through our relationship so it’s new for both of us. The last time I was in the position, my ex set all the rules, broke them, lied and then we broke up and she automatically got with the other girl. (obviously not a healthy and consensual thing) I have moments of calm and confidence but the dread and anxiety come rushing in more strong than I’ve ever felt before. I had my first ever panic attack this week over it. I’m doing all the things I can think of: exercise, meditation, supplements, talking with friends. And I still have sooooo much anxiety. I wake up with it and go to sleep with it. I guess what my question is: Is it normal to go through this especially with my past experience? Is it this hard for other people in the beginning stages? Or am I trying to be something I’m not? Is this something I can work through? I understand that there are growing pains to new experiences but should it be this devastating for me? The feeling is not in any way jealousy but more so panic like my entire marriage and life is at stake. When ultimately I know that’s not true. But my brain and body are not in sync. Any advice is appreciated

Any recommendations? I’ve tried FEELD but the interface is problematic and I’ve got customer service issues. Can’t even get to the swiping screen or update my “interests.” Maybe it’s me. I’m about to delete and try #Open. Thanks.

How do you cope with picturing your partner having sex or cuddling with someone else? I’m trying to my mind off of it but it’s hard

Any tips

What’s been happening in your non-monogamous life this week?

Share all your non-mono fun, joy and wins for the week here! Let’s spread some happiness!

I’ll try to be concise and won’t get into the whole back story, lol. I’m struggling with the idea and practice of nonmonogamy (he knows this) and it’s been getting worse. I have no other partners and he has one besides me that he isn’t physically involved with. We’re not pursuing any other people atm and won’t until I am more comfortable or decide it’s something I for sure don’t want.

Whenever my partner and I are intimate or having sex, I constantly have intrusive thoughts like when we’re lovingly looking into each other’s eyes, “is this how he’d look at other people?” or imagining (with no specific person in mind) him doing the same physical act with someone else and thinking “is this how he’d move with them?” and just pretty much obsessively thinking of hypotheticals and can’t be in the moment with him. I have not talked to him about this because I firmly believe it is a me problem and will only make him sad and self conscious. It might get to the point though that I will have to talk to him just to be able to explain to him why I’m pulling away or sometimes seem out of it and that it’s not his fault.

My question is, does anyone have any cognitive behavioral tips and exercises to help with this? I acknowledge you’re not my therapist, psychiatrist, or doctor, but what has worked with you that could be applied? I have a therapist and psych but neither are versed in polyamory or nonmonogamy. Thanks for any advice.

I've been dating Beth for a few months, she has a primary/NP, I'm her secondary partner but things have become pretty serious between us. She is my first non-monogamous relationship and although I do date other people she is my only partner.

Beth recently brought up the idea of meeting eachcothers family. Which is actually going to be a first for both of us. She has been in an OR for a while and has previous NM relationships, but her parents don't know. She is close with them. They have their suspicions and know their daughter is into some weird stuff (her words), but she's slowly opening them up to the fact she has a second partner (also her words).

I have some apprehension on telling my mom (dad has passed) for my own reasons. She hated my ex for reasons nobody knows so I went LC with her for a while and that'smade be cautious about introducing anybody to her. When she asks if I'm seeing anybody all I tell her is "Nothing exclusive." She's a pretty open minded person but can be stubborn. The only person in my family who knows is my cousin, who has been very cool about it. She hasn't met Beth yet but I hope they can.

Please share any advice, personal experiences, or even being told that this is a terrible idea. I'm open to all of it, don't hold back.

I'm buying a house with my partner in the next 6-12 months. I'm considering the ideal set up for hosting. I've never done much hosting while cohabitating for various reasons. Tips?

Ideally looking for a basement with a bathroom and kitchen/kitchenette that can serve almost like a private studio. But I may not get that luxury.

I just want to vent, and this is the place I’m going to do it. Me (40M) and my partner (39F) have been in this life for about five years now. I’ve mainly been in the kink scene and she has dipped in and out of it depending on how she’s felt at the time. All is good with us btw!

We have a good division of labour, in that I go to all the events, munches, etc. and she gets to go on all the dates and meet people, etc. 🫤 I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself as she is arranging her weekend mornings around meeting one half of a couple for some sex, and my goal is to try and maybe get some reciprocal eye contact from another woman.

Five years we’ve been in this and I haven’t been on a proper date in four years, people. 😭 I’ve had a few years of therapy, and constant self introspection though. I’m not at all salty at that 🤣

I don’t want any advice, incel bullshit, or any “females have it great” talk thanks. Simply some acknowledgement of being seen and a hearty “sorry bro” would be welcome.

Hope everyone is experiencing the nice sunshine like we are here!

I’ve been with my partner for four years now. We have always been polyamorous and have been together through many metamours and life changes etc. We don’t live together but own a business together and see each other at least 5 days a week. I’m not sure how relevant any of this is.

We have a mutual friend, let’s call her Lexi, who we have both thought was attractive for a long time. Recently I had the chance to hang out with Lexi and some other friends, and we had a really great time. I told my partner that I wanted to hang out with her a few more times before possibly asking her out on a date officially and he was extremely supportive, and even said he was going to “be on my ass about asking her out”.

Fast forward two weeks, my partner tells me that he saw Lexi on a dating app, nothing more came of that conversation. Three days after that, he tells me that he ended up messaging her and that they now have plans to hang out. On Monday. I am upset, very upset. I feel betrayed and confused. He says “you should still ask her” “maybe we could date her together” “I didn’t think you were ever gonna actually ask her”. He is asking for grace and understanding. I don’t know what to do or how to feel.