Yo, me and my fiancé are really into primal and biting, vampire shit. I have involvement with the medical field so i know how serious human bites would be. Question for any experienced kinksters out there. Would it be safer to have him wash his mouth out with a disinfectant (mouthwash or peroxide) then biting, immediately cleaning and covering the area? Or would there be more risk.

(Drawing blood would be the goal, not a crush injury, though. Using fangs.)

I (18M) REALLY wanna start getting into BDSM and i want to find either events or other ppl that live in my area so i can finally dip my toes into it! Does anyone have any sites, or anything else to help me find out how to get started?

Hello,

So I am 21(they/she). I also live in upstate New York. I have lowkey been interested in becoming a dominatrix in my spare time for a little over 2 years now. I have done some web sharing on what to do. However, I would rather have real people's opinions and not google's. I want to be as informed as possible before i just do anything.

If anyone has some information/opinions that they want to get me, that would be great. Thanks :)

Ok, so I often have fantasies of another couple being part of my and my partner's sex life but in nonsexual ways. For example, I have been really turned when I flirt with someone other than my partner or someone flirts with my partner. But I'm not interested in having foursome or inviting anyone into our sex life. Idk, maybe I'm just a flirt? But I also get off on seeing someone flirt with my partner. Something about seeing that others are attracted to my partner is sexy. Anyway, I just think it sounds fun to have an agreement with another couple where you can openly flirt with each other but we go home with our own partners. Like emotional/social swinging? 😅

Fyi I have lived most of my life fairly sheltered in regards to my sexuality (grew up religious). Only in the last yr have I been more open with my sexuality, so this may not be a kink at all. My partner and I currently do light bdsm, so I'm still learning.

This question is for experienced doms but anyone is welcomed to answer. What are some vital pieces of advice you would give to a beginner dom or something you wish that you had known sooner as a beginner? Thank you in advance for any replies

Maybe it’s just me, but there’s something intoxicating about balancing that space between a gentle touch and a commanding presence. I’ve found that a lot of the men I encounter as a Domme (in and out of healthcare!) crave that duality like a switch that flips between giving soft encouragement and setting firm boundaries. Personally, I thrive on letting the situation dictate my energy, but I’m curious if anyone else here feels this same pull? It’s almost like you become two different versions of yourself in one moment, all while keeping control. Is this something other dommes or switches experience? Or maybe it’s just the nature of a busy life trying to spill over into play... either way, it’s a thrill I wouldn’t trade.

So ive been freeuse for my partner for quite a long time, she’s quite a dominant person so she likes to remind me how freeuse I am to her whenever she gets the chance.

Starting last month, she’s been setting me the same challenge every morning when we wake up. Which is this, once I’m fully awake, she grabs my dick, and tells me that my only goal is to not get hard, there are only two rules involved. 1) if I have morning wood, that doesn’t count. 2) she can not directly stimulate my dick, she can hold it firmly, but she cannot give me a hand job or anything like that.

This means that the only ways that she can win, is if she talks dirty to me and that works, or by visually showing me something or by making me feel something, so for example, moving my hand to touch her ass, or tits etc.

Usually, she only needs talking dirty to win, only like 4 times has she had to resort to showing me parts of her body to win.

The consequences for losing aren’t really a punishment, it just means that she can use me in whatever way she wants, which i love, the only reason why I’m trying to win is because I’m a very competitive person by nature, and when I’m set I challenge, I gotta win it.

So like, is this challenge actually possible? Because I thought it would be easy when she first suggested it, but I cannot find a way to not get hard during it. Like recently I’ve been trying to enter a state of inner peace, but even that doesn’t work. Like the competitive side of me really wants to win at least once.

I need a collar for a person with a 20 inch neck CIRCUMFERENCE, NOT DIAMETER! MADE A MISTAKE EARLIER.

It has to be nice and relatively cheap, ideally with a quick delivery time.

Please, someone, help!

It's interesting how some of my traits in daily life inform how I practice bdsm. For instance, I would consider myself to have a higher than average physical pain tolerance, but emotionally, I am baby. Very sensitive to things. That's reflected in the fact that when I do bdsm irl, I'm interested in taking a thrashing while simultaneously being praised and being treated nicely. That's not to say the humiliation stuff doesn't turn me on. It definitely does, in some ways more so because it hurts me more. But it's one of those things where I can't handle humiliation irl, but I can handle physical pain. It also gets into the whole "fantasy vs reality" thing, which is something I needed to grapple with before I could be at peace with being a sub/masochist. Fantasizing about humiliation is doable for me, doing it is a no-go for me. And that's ok.

Can you please recommend good quality gear? Eg blindfolds, gags, restraints, paddles. Not Ann summers, love honey etc Would love to support any UK based businesses etc

Thanks💘

sometimes i experience a prickling sensation in my hands and face when doing impact. i wasn’t restrained at all in these instances and was able to adjust positions so im wondering if it had more to do with adrenaline than a loss of circulation? any advice is appreciated!

I'm new on this sub, so if I do something that breaks some unspoken rule, please make that rule spoken. I'm also an Autist/ADHDer who doesn't mask, so I completely disregard a lot of social norms, and I definitely do not contain an eldrich weirdness that cannot be contained and will eventually corrupt the whole universe with weirdness that sometimes just kinda leaks out though the pores in my skin.

Typical Disclaimer about Doing BDSM in Public: when doing anything that could vaguely be considered public, be extremely careful to, as much as possible, not involve people who do not want to be involved, with the assumption that they do not want to be involved unless they say otherwise (generic 'consent' stuff applies here).

1. If you have a long skirt, you can tie your legs together at the knees, and have the tie completely hidden by the skirt. You can still walk with your lower legs together, but it does change how you walk.

For Tights: if wearing a low skirt and tights, you may wish to tie 1 high on your legs under the tights. This is usually less restrictive, and doesn't allow 2, but 3 and 4 work just fine with this and it's more consealed. I almost reccomend this for situations that might require you to untie it, as you can simply leave the untied ropes at the top of the tights, reminding you to put it back on when done.

(all following things rely on 1 and are compatable with but not reliant on the others)

2. You can position the excess rope from 1 at the back of the knees, then do a loop around the lower legs. This further restricts motion but can't easily reach the hopping level of restriction.

3. You can tie something around your waist*, then, while sitting, tie another rope on the front to both the waist rope and to the middle strap of 1. If you tie it tightly enough, it will force your waist in towards your knees. This forces the legs up and waist down and forward relative to the but. If tighter, it may not allow a standing position, but sitting will feel more extreme - reccomended for playing video games. (Note from experience: if you have a penis, erections can cause it to rub against the connecting rope, causing stimulation. This can be annoying or interesting, depending on context.)

4. You can tie something around your waist* and then, while standing straight, tie another rope on the back to both the waist rope and to the middle strap of 1. If you tie it tightly enough, sitting will cause it to go into the... rear crevace, like a crotch rope but it doesn't even touch the penis if you have one. If tighter, it may cause a sorness in the but over time if you sit for a long while.

Combining all of these very tightly, especially 3 and 4, is just incredible.

*The waist rope can be used on its own, and can, if using strips of cloth as "rope", even be used outside clothes that go with said cloth (with bows tied usually on the back). Furthermore, the waist rope can interfere with breathing, but you already know to be careful about nerve damage and blood circulation and all that, so just remember to proceed with caution.

I'm excited to hear any suggestions for improvements or similar ideas.

Hey everyone! First time post. My wife and I have entered a Dom/sub dynamic about 8 months ago. She is a service sub and loves her role. However I don’t know another line of praise to use for her. She hates the “good girl” term whether it’s domestic submission or physical submission. We haven’t found anything else that flows well or she enjoys. Any of your praise phrases would be appreciated!

I feel like age players are rare, at least from my experience. I participate to munches and parties in my area and i almost never find other age players (sfw or not). I also noticed it's something that's generally not talked about, it feel like a tabu and it's kinda sad, and ironic at the same time, we can talk about golden showers but not about coloring with crayons😂 I wanted to know if I'm not very lucky or if others felt this too, mainly irl

I need help understanding what is so different between these two relationships types. The one real difference that I can see is that in the DD/lg the lg is a “little” and depends on the Daddy. In the M/s relationship the slave is still an adult but still dependent on the Master. What else is different. Not judging, just curious. Thanks!

I’m really new to everything bdsm. I feel like I know what I want but obviously need to research and experience to truly know. I have my own personal journey with this but I’m also seeing someone (casually, nothing labeled and won’t ever be) and we have been trying it. neither of us have done this before. I believe I am S and he is D but I am totally lost on navigating this. I’m the one who initiated discussions about the realm but we haven’t had an in depth conversation about terms, roles, anything like actually official. Anything we’ve tried we’ve talked about afterwards and confirmed we both enjoyed, but I can’t help but feel wrong and almost predatory? Even though he’s assured me I haven’t said done or persuaded him into anything he hasn’t liked, I feel like I am almost forcing this D and S dynamic on him. There is absolutely nothing actually predatory or like inappropriate about our dynamic, both the same age (22) and I don’t believe either of us would agree to anything or lie about comfortability. I have done my own reading, research, movie watching and such and have a pretty decent grasp on what I want to try and experience, but I fear that I am into it more than he is. I’ve asked and he’s told me that whatever we’ve tried he’s enjoyed and what he’s like about it which helps, but I feel a need to pull away and stop seeing him. I don’t know how to approach this with him especially because I don’t want to be overly intimate (especially bc since this is new for me and something I’ve been really wanting, I don’t want to get too emotionally involved). What the hell do i do? this is so frustrating.

Whether it's domdrop or subdrop, I was hoping to explore and find some insight on what it might be like for others and how they deal with it.

Have been playing with different partners as of late, and I'd like to know what I can do to help them cope. Personally, because I have different styles of play with each of them, I feel like the processing of emotions becomes different for me as well.

Would be happy to read through any advice and experiences. 💛

Ive been horny for a long time now and this want to get tied up by my girfriend really bad. But in recent times it just didnt work out. When we finally got to some sexy time i was getting really excited to get tied up in a long time, but she said she wants to be the bottom that time... so i took the hit and gave her a really fun time. As i said im just really frustrated.

Yesterday at lunch for example, we were texting about doing a scene, where im getting tied, she agreed that we can do it in the afternoon when she gets home. So i was really excited. I did everything to prepare. I laid all the fitting toys out, showered, shaved thoroughly, cleaned up the room, cooked us both food. When she got home she just told me, that she doesnt have the energy to do anything anymore. (thats the case every time when we talk about it beforehand)

I was and am really sad actually. But i just told her its completely fine, because i dont want to pressure her into doing anything she doesnt want to... After she went to bed, i stayed at my desk to cry. I dont know why its such a big deal to me.

Am i overreacting? Does anyone have any similar situation?

Sorry and thanks i guess

I've thought about this a lot recently cause i really like fear play but I can't seam to find something that has to do with darkness that's possible doing indoor easily. Someone suggested me that, while in a dark room, my domme could make some kind of sound and i have to find her. This can definitely be something to try, especially if everytime i find her she slpas me or something, but I don't know, it's not screaming fear of the darkness...

So, I have dommed a couple people since I became somewhat active in my local scene and I have the problem that sometimes domming really makes me laugh?

Once I was giving a guy a footjob with some light ballbusting thrown in, and I almost burst out laughing because his expressions and the way he was lying down on the ground (like Jesus on the cross if he was a starfish) made me laugh. I didn't laugh, thankfully, and the scene went fine but it was hard for me not to. It was my first time doing a scene like that, so I didn't know I would find it funny.

Another time I was biting a girl, and for some reason the way she moaned made me giggle? Again, first time biting anyone, didn't know it would make me laugh.

I generally have a tendency to throw humor into any situation, and it sometimes works and sometimes not. Once I was at a play party with my best friend and their partner and we saw a couple do an impact scene - it has turned into a whole bit of me doing an impression of a popular chef just because the dom was spanking his sub with a plastic spatula.

I dunno if it's Todd Philips Joker Disease or whatever, but yeah, I kinda have a hard time not laughing when I'm domming. I do plan on telling future play partners this so I can know if they like it or not, but I'm just wondering if I am the only one with this problem or if it's a relatively common thing.

Hey folks! I’m curious about kink skills that can be applied outside of kink contexts. For instance, aftercare can be really helpful for managing the post-event drop we experience after a night out with friends when we suddenly find ourselves alone.

What skills has kink taught you that you use in your everyday life? How do you think these skills can enhance our daily experiences? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Long story short, I’m a domme who doesn’t like PiV.

Curious if there’s guys out there who wouldn’t see this as a deal-breaker. I never have (and never will) like PiV sex but I’m often dissappointed by how…important it is to a lot of men, even submissive men. It’s an immediate turn off for me and tbh? I’d rather be pegging him (or doing almost anything else.)

Nothing against men that like PiV obviously. Mostly looking for a show of hands so I’m not naively assuming submissive guys who don’t care for PiV exist lol 😅

I've been researching the whole scene surrounding edging and forced orgasms. A lot of popular pages seem to have full on setups geared towards this type of play. As in chairs, tables, racks, "orgasm towers" etc. Is there a good website for this type of equipment?

Me and my partner are looking for new things to try. Hoping to get some kinky ideas.

Hello!! I'm fairly new to the bdsm scene and when I got contacted by doms (they all know I'm inexperienced) they had their own kind of approaching. And since I don't know whats the normal way of doing things (I know everyone can have their own way) I wanted to ask about what's considered a red or a green flag in introductions?

For example, after a short conversation one of them started dirty talking/sexting and I think it was weird to do it this early? He asked me how I'd please him but I don't know him, like at all, I told him I needed a break and that's all that happened. And another one asked about my kinks and said if I'd like to let him control what I wear for the next couple of days to see if I like it or not,

I said sure, but are these conversations too early for a dynamic like this? I'm aware people might have their own personal preferences but overall does it take an hour to be owned? Are there any red flags I should look for in the future so I know if a dom knows what they're doing? I really don't want my first time to be an unpleasant experience, so I'd like to avoid any red flags I can.

I attended a play party this past weekend and I'm sure I'm experiencing "sub drop".

But I also have depressive episodes and before I went to the party I was experiencing symptoms.

How does one tell the difference?

Should I attend parties if it's going to mess with my mental health?

TIA ☺️

Is there an app or a website or something where I might be able to meet more kinky people purely for the sake of befriending them? I don't have many kinky friends and the few I do have aren't open for discussions about it. I'd like to have more friends who I can talk about BDSM with without it being awkward.

What types of stuff can you do as maintenance for a submissive? I know maintenance spankings are a thing but I'm looking for something a little less painful.

My partner (m) and I (f, both in 30s) have been playing around with bdsm and adjacent stuff in our sex lives for the last year or so. I only recently realized what he's into is different than what I'm into. For context, I really enjoy roleplay and some very light bondage. He is more into being submissive and enjoys the lack of control aspect. He also likes bondage and a bit of pain play (mostly spanking, light whipping, etc).

I'm here for some suggestions on how to get more creative with it. He is always so creative with how he ties me up (we often switch who is dom and who is sub) and seems to know exactly what he wants when he doms. But I still feel insecure and unsure when I dom. I feel like I'm usually sitting there trying to think of what to do next.

Tbh, I'm a pretty insecure person in general, so that prob doesn't help. But we've been together for over a decade and I feel very comfortable with him. I think I just feel really unsure of myself when it comes to doming.

What has helped you with confidence when being dom? Does it help to go into it with a plan? Any advice is much appreciated! 😘😘

I have come up with a few ways of keeping someone tied or confined.

The first is to use a baby monitor. That way they can say their safeword and be heard and still be left alone in the room.

The other way is to use tamper tape, a type of tape that tears easily and cant be simply taken off and put back. It could for example be placed on a cage door or on a code padlock. The sub is perfectly able to escape but if they escaped and then put themselves back in their bonds their dom would know.

Third way is similar to the second. Simply put a key in a signed envelope that has to be torn in order to open it. Works about the same as the second method.

Any thoughts? Any more ways to leave someone in captivity in a safe way?