/r/SexPositive
We're here promoting bodily autonomy, sexual freedom, radical consent, queer liberation, body positivity, and the destruction of patriarchy.
Sister Subreddits:
We recognize that the types of speech that dominate our space and the composition of people who occupy here are reflective of our values; there are no coincidences. Therefore, it is our responsibility to create a safer space for marginalized identities including people with disabilities, people of color, LGBTQIA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender/transsexual, queer, intersex, and asexual) people, women, and class oppressed people.
We have no tolerance for oppressive attitudes, and expect accountability for any oppressive behavior. That is, any language or action that upholds ableism, white supremacy or peripheral racism, cissexism, heterosexism, misogyny, and/or classism. This includes slut shaming, victim blaming, body policing, etc. All members are encouraged to hold themselves and each other to our these community norms and to report any offenders to the group admins.
/r/SexPositive
So one problem with the modern dating scene is that it's exposed a lot of women to the brunt of the male gaze. Every female friend and acquaintance who I've heard speak on the subject has mentioned that they're constantly getting clumsily hit up by lewd dudes and have gotten guarded as a result.
I can only imagine myself in an LTR with a woman who shares my radically sex-positive values. I've been having a hard time expressing this unfortunately as I'm terrified of coming off as predatory or a wannabe player.
I'm also not particularly into most kink, so those communities are not really what I'm after.
I'm hoping someone here who's had experience in this kind of situation can offer some guidance.
I am looking for a "secure" website where I can share nudes and videos of us. It does turn me on to take these and share them, but actually I am not interested in anything else like dating etc. Also it should be very amateur, i.e. not people looking to make any money from it, but just interested in sharing their pictures and videos (or dating, even though we're not into that ourselves).
Of course everything that's online can somehow be downloaded, but would be nice if its not super simple. Also would be great if the community is kind of validated, i.e. not (easily) open to everyone. Does something like this exist? :D
This original archived post was the inspiration:
[Are any women out there attracted to crossdressing men??](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/qd83un/are\_any\_women\_out\_there\_attracted\_to/)
by[u/Time-Ear-5860](https://www.reddit.com/user/Time-Ear-5860/) in r/[sex](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/)
I'm not looking for advice, as their rules say. I only want to jump in and tell my own experience. I hope that it will assure others like me that you're not alone, and yes: there is hope for finding love. I've only completely realized this in the past few months, and once I did: so much fell into place and made sense. I have a very, very strong lust/attraction/love for crossdressing men. Some days, it occupies my every damn waking thought/fantasy.
I've known I was bisexual since I was 12 (I'm 43 now), but something always felt off. I was completely gaga first for long-haired hair-metal rock stars in tight leather, and later for the actors/beautiful drag queens in "Too Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar." Fabulous movie, btw. My high school boyfriend was a very pretty, feminine closeted gay boy because of his hardcore conservative religious family. This was in the 90s, and it was our school's biggest open secret. All I can do is laugh at that kind of naivete now. I'm also only attracted to feminine women. Never butches, tomboys, etc. We can be friends, but that's it. I'm only into femininity across the board.
Years went on after high school, and I struggled with relationships. I couldn't then, and I still can't be now, attracted to: traditional, masculine men. I will always be friends with them, usually bonding over common interests, but I could never do anything physical with them. In fact, it repulses me. But IF I run across a beautiful, feminine cross-dressing man with a tight, shaven-everywhere body and who looks hot in lingerie, dresses, stockings, heels, long hair (or wigs), makeup etc., goddamn that gets my motor running!! In fact, I love a cock surrounded by lacy thigh-high stockings, a garter belt, and heels. One of my most common fantasies is both of us in lingerie making love. I also would love to lightly dominate/sissify him. Pegging is another fantasy, with me giving, especially if neither of us have done it before.
I'm sure any psychologist could have a field day with this, but at the end of the day: It's what I like, what I what, and what I'm attracted to. Fuck what "society" says. Life is too damn short not to live your true, authentic life. I'm going to jump on Feeld and FetLife, and wish me luck. Some insane part of me has hope there is The One out there for me. If you're struggling with anything similar: There is nothing at all wrong with you. The people in your life who matter will stay by you. My DM's are also open if you'd like to talk.
Hi,
If anyone's experience allows them to see clear in the dark I'm living in, and takes the time to help me over having taken the time to read me, that would be an amazing blessing I'll never forget 🙏
I am a 38 yrs old man, I feel lonely in a situation that feels really tough to me. As a single man I sometimes use sextoys such as a FleshLight and lately I wanted to try again a prostatic massager, but the last one I bought was too weak, so this time I opted for a motorized dildo with back & forth strong moves & suction cup. Tried it & it was rather good, then put it in my bathroom to charge it.
It was all fun & games till my Landlord that owns the building told me as I was going to work :
And at that time he looked quite embarrassed... Which is one of the points that make me so depressed since this sh*t happened, along with the facts that:
The electric guy told me that an electrician inspector previously came to check the installation and figured out it wasn't compliant Electricians were in the building during my dildo was exposed 😅 We live in a small village (<2k inhabitants) The electrician company is from the same village
This is were it gets tough to me:
I work as a "Hearing Aid visiting technician" for a company which name is on my pro vehicle My landlords then knows that I work there and knows several people around that are my customers My workmates can be in contact with these customers of my area
So now, please just try to understand how I am feeling as a straight guy living in the sexually repressive society we live in, even homophobic. I am getting so much paranoïd, I've lost my social skills, mind clarity, manly posture & zone, ability to command respect, and this is really ruining my life.
I've made so many sacrifices to reach this position in this country, now I am here alone & not able to socialize or get a girlfriend here as I kinda feel like leaving everything behind as soon as my flat rental contract is over, which is in almost a year.
I am afraid to be more & more destroyed month after month as I will have to get asked about my inexistent social life, and now I am starting to get depressed, to the point I am loosing my personality.
Thanks a lot if you read me so far.
I wish you much love.
Help?! 🎄🤶 🎅 🎁
I wanna make a sex advent calendar for me and the bf to do but I’m having trouble thinking of things. Cheap things like $10-$15 at most per item. It would be like whatever box we open that night we do what’s inside it. Like throat numbing spray….he will get a blow job. A massage wax candle so we can give each other a massage. Things like that. I want to spice it up, try new things, etc. nothing is off the table. Just trying to keep it affordable. As simple as pop rocks and a bj.
Any ideas?! I need 24 days of ideas and I’m struggling. 😅🤣
How do I 40m have a discussion about kink with my wife 44f without weirding her out?
I’m having a laparoscopic nissen fundoplication surgery to repair my hiatal hernia and fix my GERD (reflux) issues.
I’m wondering if anyone has any personal experience with this surgery and when they were able to resume penis in vagina sex post surgery?
It’s considered a major surgery.
I recently had an amazing threesome with some friends after careful planning and lots of honest communication. Some of my partners wanted a play-by-play so I typed one up. As someone who is sex positive, I figured I should share it so others can be titillated by our romp.
Threesome:
He nervously rambled, she flashed
I made a move, he joined
Things moved to the couch
Heavy petting commenced
He removed his shirt, I did as well
She took her shirt off
He and I pounced on the titties
He moved behind, I took the front
We switched
I suggested we give her a cock show
The undies came off the guys
She showcased her tactile and oral skill, switching between the guys, many compliments abounded
He pontificated on his teaching of oral skills
She expressed a desire to deep throat, I gave some coaching of my own, she was an impressively quick study
I set up an angle for deep throating, her bottoms came off and he performed oral
We switched
He asked if we should move to penetration, she gave consent, I expressed agreement with the proposition
Hands were washed, condoms were donned
He gave the first few pumps to get her ready and went for a short while during which she blew me
He suggested switching, I enthusiastically agreed
I had sex with her while she blew him
He suggested doggystyle, as it’s one of her favorite positions.
I fucked her doggystyle while she blew him
We switched
He hit her spots well, I remarked how hot it was seeing her lose concentration
Someone suggested she ride him while she blows me, which we did.
Someone suggested moving things to the bedroom to do “over the bed” oral
I fucked her missionary while she hung her head over the edge of the bed to blow him
I struggled not to cum, and he assisted with various humorous topics.
I found an interesting angle that hit her clit nicely
He asked if I wanted to cum in her mouth while he fucked her, I expressed enthusiasm and she did too.
I directed the angle of the action and he fucked her missionary while she blew me, and I came in her mouth
He removed his condom and they had sensual missionary sex while I looked on with occasional encouraging noises and stroked her hair
He came inside her and cuddles commenced
I feel like such a loser asking, I know. But like; I do my best. I try to make friends, try to be nice, try to be social, ask people out once every couple months to like a year if I feel like someone and I have a connection. But the truth is I'm just kind of an ugly loser. I try to find sex positive spaces to have an outlet for this part of me that really is important, but my experience online has only been people looking to charge you money for loneliness or a tidal wave of horny men with no consideration for others. And I know that I just end up another pathetic person among their number by asking; but like is there really no place for other sex positive people that want to chat? Any forums that haven't been killed by a gender ratio? I just feel like a freak, like I'm the ONLY PERSON who wants to engage with that kind of stuff online. Which has to be stupid right? So are there any good resources for someone who just wants to experiment and have fun in a safe space for the first time in a long time? I just…I want to feel sexy. I think it’s okay that everyone should get to feel that way. But the difficulty of finding anyone that likes me can be disheartening, no one in the world owes me sex but it can just feel bad, it can feel like in a world of 8 billion people not a single one finds me attractive. Sorry for the rant post; but these feelings of being a very sexual person are very important to me and the lack of a way to express them makes me feel like a creep who doesn’t deserve it
Hello all,
I am an undergraduate student at the University of British Columbia conducting a research study on Sexual Fantasies and the impact of contraceptive use on female sexual fantasies. For this study, you will be asked to complete a questionnaire regarding demographics, the nature of your sexual fantasies, and your attitudes toward your sexual fantasies. Data collection is anonymous; the survey will take approximately 20 minutes to complete. Please click the link if you're interested. You have the opportunity to win one of four $25 (CAD) gift cards by entering your email in a redirected survey upon completion.
So iv been in relationships w women throughout my 20s but here we are at 28 and I’m pretty sure this is the love of my life. He’s like if a lesbian created a guy. I adore him
Anyways, I think im doing a good job in the bedroom but it is really hard for me to climax on Prozac and I just hope it doesn’t kill his pride especially since he’s the first cis guy iv been with in years. I’m a horny human and love getting him off so that isn’t an issue… but I’m wondering how I can spice things up in the bedroom. I feel like it’s so easy in queer relationships to just bring out a vibrator but idk how my partner would react and I can only hope he wouldn’t think it’s weird. I really only climax from toys but I do love riding him and getting fucked it just feels more like a game of how fast can I make him cum. It feels amazing for me but I just can’t get the O that I get with a vibrator on my clit lol. He gives great head too I think I just get nervous that I’m taking to long and inevitably make him stop :( I always reassure him that it’s just my stupid ssri’s but he gives the best head ever and I wanna come 😩
I’m also realizing that I’m a total service top with bottom tendencies but he is very submissive and idk how to tell him it’d be hot if he took a lil control 🥵 I had him hold my hair when I was blowing him the other night and it made me crazyyyy lol
Generally a masc bi dude, generally date more enby cuties and femmes and tend to be quite dom-y.
But occasionally I get in these phases of obsessing over hung fellas in a very objectifying way. It's not quite submissive, it's not forced bi vibes, it's not cuckold-y sense of them being better - its just like appreciating them like you would any sexy thing.
I always feel a weird pressure around trying to contextualize it because so many people want to jump the conversation to submission or some toxically mascuinity / beta vibes.
Anyone have good language around that?
I need some advice. I am recently discovered that I am a fairly submissive partner(m). I have been with my current partner for a long time and recently found out a few things.
So because of this I suggested that we buy a strap on so I can give her what she has been missing.( overheard her on the phone with a friend saying she has been unsatisfied). I have been wearing the strap on and fucking her with it. She still seems unsatisfied so I asked her what the problem was, the strap on is much bigger than me and I can use it on her for longer than 4 minutes ( the longest I can last). I think she wants me to be more dominate in bed.
Any suggestions on how to be more dominate while wearing a strap on? Things I can do or say that will make her feel more like she is fucking a real man?
Newbie needing advice
Hey, I (23 transmale) recently started talking to someone and discovered that we both) are interested in exploring the bdsm and kink community more with each other. In talking we’ve figured out that we don’t have much experience in either, but are willing to try just about anything. Any advice on where to start? We are both trans men and have specifically talked about wanting to try:
Any advice or help is greatly appreciated.
This came up in my trauma therapy, and it's really made me stop and think for a bit. I'm curious what "sex positive" means to others, and how would you define it?
(this isn't a survey or study, just a conversation)
'Sup, perverts! I just wanted to share something kinda sweet that happened.
So quick context, I work with a living services provider to work with me on life skills (y'know, 'tism things).
Earlier today, we were cleaning my room and she found an 805 Beer box containing my... adult toys. We've cleaned my room a few times since we've worked together and that was the last thing I wanted her to find, so I froze in horror as she looked in the box.
But then she said "wrong box" and proceeded to look on Amazon for storage boxes specifically for sex toys and looked trough the results with me. After I apologized to her for having to see that stuff, she said that she used to sell sex toys for a living and she's technically registered as a sex therapist, and if I had any questions related to stuff like that I'm allowed to ask her. So that made me feel a lot better and now I don't feel the need to hide so much from her, especially since she knows I'm not straight (her daughter isn't either). Speaking of which, HAPPY LESBIANS DAY TO ME!!! And others, too, I suppose ❤️
So my (25m) girlfriend (21f) and I have been having troubles in our sex life for over a year now. I feel like I'm constantly trying to find new ways to get her out of her shell and just feel more comfortable with me but rarely does anything seem to work long term.
In her opinion this has come up as a multi layered topic because (1) she grew up in a religious environment that didn't discuss sex, (2) her previous partners never focused on her needs, (3) I haven't always been the best partner (which is true), and (4) she isn't sure if she's asexual.
I felt like last month we really made headway with sensate focus activities which were recommended by my therapist but just like every other attempt it ended when her period came. Once her period was over she's more affectionate but the lust is gone, any attempt to initiate is either too forward or not on a good day and if I show any signs of unhappiness we need to talk about it (which ends in an argument) or if I don't it ends in an argument about how I'm shutting her out.
The thing that really bothers me is that she's obsessed with fan fiction and "dark romance". She's willing to read hour after hour after hours of the stuff and any attempts I make at trying to understand her makes her feel "teased".
I feel like I do use humor to try to Dr-sexualize the topic so we can find a fair/fun middle ground that I can kinda jump in at to understand but sometimes I feel like there's zero point. I feel like the more I try to understand her the more she feels like I'm stepping on her neck. Last night we even argued because she got a new book, I flipped through some pages and told her it was certainly interesting and she got defensive about it saying I creased it too soon (before she got the chance to touch it) and that I was making fun of her.
I told her that I wasn't and I've tried getting to know her but she is actively avoiding it. She asked for an example and I told her every time we watch a show that she likes then she immediately zoned out by getting on her phone. She argued that I always fall asleep during shows and she physically can not focus on a show she's already seen.
I just feel like I'm being fought on so many fronts. I genuinely feel jealous watching her read because she's giving attention to men and characters while neglecting our own relationship. I can't say I'm some type of saint but I do feel like I'm trying harder than her and just putting those books down would help somewhat. How do I express that I'm okay with her reading what she likes but not to the detriment of our relationship?
Hey everyone,
I had sex for the first time recently, and I ran into something that I wasn't expecting. At first, I struggled to get an erection for a while, but eventually, I did. The thing is, even after that, I couldn’t cum at all. It was a bit frustrating because I have no problems getting erections or finishing when I masturbate or watch porn.
Has anyone else experienced something like this during their first time? I’m wondering if it’s just nerves or if there’s something else going on. For context, I was a virgin before this, and everything seemed fine when I’m on my own. Just looking for some advice or shared experiences. Thanks!
I'm 30 and I've had anorgasmia since I was a teenager. There were so many messages in society, media, movies and TV in the mid 2000s (iykyk) that sex was wrong on many moral levels. Women were dirty and corrupt if they had sex or even wore figure flattering clothing. "Scummy," "trashy" and "gross" were frequently used in my mom's vocabulary. That hurt me even hearing her talk about other women like that because I'm neurodivergent and I don't understand things on a black and white scale, I'm able to see things very nuanced but the conditioning must've gotten to me subconsciously and it hurt me. Last night my parents accidentally caught me "doing things" to my boyfriend (24) and acted like I unalived someone (because it was my fault and I wasn't careful enough, thought we had a moment alone, thought wrong) and now I'm shame spiraling and feeling the Catholic guilt, purity culture and self hatred hitting hard and totally eclipse me all over again. How can I heal from this? I thought maybe someone in this sub could help.
I lost my virginity at 26 a few months ago at a brothel, I've been there 10 times since and seen an escort. I've arranged to meet a mature woman with an awesome figure on Tuesday, to have sex for the first time without having to pay for it... Thank Goodness lmao. (I'm also quite nervous tbf, hope it goes well).
I mean I still get some joy out of other things but nothing quite does it like sex.
Sex and body positive arts and literature magazine looking for submissions.
So I had my first time roleplaying with an NSFW chatbot and damn it was something
I expected some generic porn logic script and a few catchphrases here and there but the bot I was chatting with had a pretty creative yet realistic response each time
Other than character traits I was controlling the story and what happened and the bot’s reactions to each were very close to what I have experienced roleplaying online with real people
Save for the fact that the response times were faster and I could dive in and out of the rp anytime I wanted
My experience reminded me of the movie “ Her” , the AI companion Joi from Blade Runner 2049 and the movie “Ruby Sparks “
Those are good depictions of what a fictional AI companion would do and it was kind of surreal having the same kinda experience
As AI models get better and with the advent of text to video and what not - I genuinely feel the landscape is about to change drastically
This is coming from someone who’s been regularly roleplaying for 4 years now
I’ve been really into exploring more sex-positive content lately and I’m craving some sensual, steamy audiobooks that celebrate pleasure in all the right ways. Does anyone here have recommendations for hot, sex-positive audiobooks that dive deep into intimacy, connection, and empowerment? Whether it’s stories that spark desire or narrations that feel like a caress, I’m all ears—literally!
How much of your enjoyment comes from the energy of your partner and how much of it comes from their actual technique? What's more important? Can one make up for the other?
For example:
Let's say you're a woman in doggystyle. What's gonna be more enjoyable - a quiet partner with a great stroke, or an excited, passionate partner who moans and dirty talks and smacks ass, but who may not have the greatest rhythm when it comes to PIV? How much of your enjoyment is simply the physical act of being penetrated and how much of it is the animalistic sensation of being wanted and desired?
Same for men - what's better, an expert rider who knows exactly how to grind and bounce but does so with little to no emotion, or a partner who's smiling and moaning and very obviously enjoying themselves, even if their technique isn't the greatest?
I ask because I personally believe passion and enthusiasm count for a lot when it comes to sex. I've read so many threads in different subs of people asking technical questions, how can I ride better, suck better, eat better, thrust better - and don't get me wrong, technique matters for sure - but sex is less physical for me in that sense, and more emotional. It's that "Arrrgh, I gotta have you right now" feeling. The feeling of desiring someone and being desired.
But I'm curious if I'm in the minority with that belief.
Obviously, in a perfect world, all of our partners would be equally skilled and passionate - but if I had to pick one of those traits over the other? I'm taking the latter every time.
I feel like I suck at it... when I am sexting with someone, I feel like I never quite invoke emotions in them, however, they with very simple, direct texts, say exactly the thing that makes me crazy.
Yet, when I try to say something, I either feel embarrssed, or feel rejected.
I wanna get my sexting game up. Any resources on this?
Lately I've been thinking what becoming sex positive/liberated could mean for me. I'm in many ways norm-passing straight White cis guy with a low self-esteem and a rather uneventful sexual history. I feel somehow repressed, even though I strive to be open-minded and respective towards others.
I'm trying to let go of harmful beliefs and norms that are weighing me (/us) down, but every now and then I wish I could reflect with someone who was more "liberated" and content with their sexual life than I am.
Hi everyone,
I (26M) have been struggling with reconciling a personal interest of mine and could really use some guidance. I’ve developed a kink around bras, specifically push ups bras, which I find arousing. However, I come from a background where I experienced sexual repression and multiple counts of sexual assault, making it difficult to explore my sexuality without feeling guilt or shame or judgement from myself.
For example, even though I’ve built a collection of bras to help me explore this interest privately, I sometimes feel overwhelmed with guilt after engaging with it, as if I’m doing something wrong. This inner conflict is making it hard to fully accept this part of myself. If I'm walking in a mall and lay eyes on a lingerie store, I quickly look away as a reflex because a part of me feels like it's wrong to look at the bras on the mannequins, even though they're in plain sight for even children to look at.
I’m trying to better understand these feelings and learn how to embrace my sexual interests and kinks in a healthy way, but the emotional weight is hard to manage. Has anyone else dealt with similar feelings of shame or guilt while exploring their sexuality? Is it gross or disgusting or wrong that I get aroused by bras? Looking for advice or encouragement here.
Thanks in advance for your support.