Look guys, we have to stop saying "that/this sucks" if we want to promote getting more bjs. Cunninglingus mostly has postive reception, but felatio is too often put in a negative conext. If you want someone to be less resistant to going down on you then we have to make it as positive an experience as possible. The first thing we can all do is stop saying things like "that sucks" or "deez nuts in your mouth", or "suck my dick!", anything that gives a negative portrayal of felatio. If you hear someone say something like that, then you should correct them and give them an alternative thing to say. Next Convince 5 people to put felatio in a positive context. Like "oh man, this gets sucked!". And then tell them to Convince 5 other people, bonus points for men.

It's expected that women shave or wax their parts, so you better do the same, otherwise don't expect a bj, and dont ask for one! Its the law of equal exchange. Get your junk smooth. I thjnk the best tool is the Philips Norelco BG 7000 series of electric razors (manscaped is a joke). Lose that stomach weight, and if you can afford it get a chin lift, your suckee wants eye contact, and if your stomach is in the way it is less enjoyable for them, and they dont wanna see your fatty double chin dude. Maybe you don't need eye contact when you lick pussy or bhole, but females love eye contact. Do what you can.

Always give affirmation to someone who's giving you head, especially if they are newer to it. Nobody wants to feel like they are bad at sucking dick, or that their effort is not appreciated. Making it an exciting or kinky experience for them to can go a long way. DONT TRY TO EMULATE THINGS IN PORN, without a clear understanding between you and your suckee! And don't pressure them to into trying something they are not ready for. Don't make it a negative experience!

Please for the love of bjs, stop teabagging in videogames! People who put penis in their mouth play those more now ya know!

If you have other ideas on how to accomplish tbis goal, post in comments, also I would like to hear people's opinions on this topic.

Hi all,

I’ve been into the idea of my wife being with other men for the last 5 years or so…she isn’t the most adventurous in the bedroom, and has openly admitted that she’s only ever orgasmed on one penis with an ex and he was around 9inches! So with me she has to cum on my fingers! She has messaged other men in the past and it caused a rocky time in our relationship, she swears she hasn’t cheated although she came home one day and her knickers were covered in what looked like cum, and from that point on I really became into the idea of her being with other guys, I’m not into the idea of just sitting watching, but it being a threesome and her taking us both at the same time, I’ve told her I’ve no interest in it swinging around to me then playing with other women, I just want to share her with guys and see her explode in excitement from taking two men!

I guess I need advice on how to get her to the point of trying it! She has a thing for mmf/gangbang porn although that’s started to be non existent as has masturbating in general, how to I get her fired back up and be more positive around these things?

I am a 33 f married and pregnant I don’t feel pretty about myself because of my body. how do I become sexy and beautiful for myself and for my husband?

One issue I've struggled with my entire adult life has been the shame associated with sexual pleasure that comes specifically from feeling physically unattractive and unsexy. I have always had trouble with 100% completely enjoying any sexual act, solo or partnered, because I put myself in this out-of-body observer perspective in which I judge my actions as disgusting and laughable because I'm so ugly. I'm sure that p*rn and media in general -- which often depicts only young and conventionally attractive as being fully worthy of and desirable in their sexuality -- has something to do with it, but it's also just part and parcel of low self esteem in general. My logical mind already knows that this is not true and that there's no such thing as people more deserving of pleasure based on their appearance, but knowing that to be the case doesn't make the feeling go away. What are some sex-positive ways to get past this feeling? Does anyone else here struggle with it?

EDIT: To fend off any creepy DMs (already got one), I'm engaged.

I definitely like to date sexually confident guys and I like to know earlier rather than later if we are sexually compatible.

But I want to also communicate that I'm not looking for a one night stand. I do have that in my dating profile but I think some men don't take me seriously as a dating partner if I want to be open about sexuality earlier on. Obviously they aren't good partners anyway, but does anyone have tips for how women can date in a sex positive way? I'd appreciate advice from men and women.

I've tried "being myself" but I have ADHD and that can be a bit offputting if I don't show at least some restraint (IYKYK)

So, my friend and i had an Open relationship. This was never a Problem. Having Sex was Always OK, but WE Had a clear Thing. Never get so much into it, that theeir could be a relationship. None of US wantestd to live poly. But, as you can think, the Partner felt in Love with one Person. What to do? I dont want to say"you are Not allowed" or Something, but i see that im Feeling fucked, because i dont feel well with a poly Thing.

I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I was just thinking about how a lot of would-be non monogamous people are repressed by cultural norms. I completely understand the majority of people want monogamy but I feel there are so many out there that want to explore with other people but can't due to society. I wish non monogamy was at least more normalized in our culture, because in my opinion it is natural.

Long time listener, first time caller.

My wife and I have incredible sex. Quantity and quality are amazing for me and for her typically. But recently I’ve learned that she is frustrated with my inability to cum from her on top in PIV or from her going down on me. I take a long time to cum typically and I have to be in control. I use to ejaculate very early but it was still the same that I had to be the one in control. How can I work around this so that I can cum from her motion?

Some women I've been in short term relationships with, and slept with, refused to masturbate while I was watching (they told me they masturbated, and had sex toys).

What causes this?

What are ethical ways to help get them get over it?

I am just curious, how do a woman cross as a man and do it in public .

I’m a cis female, I’ve never used a buttplug before but have recently thought about introducing myself to it to spice my sex life with my boyfriend. I would love some advice and tips and maybe if anyone has affordable recommendations for plugs and ones that are different sizes so I can see which will be best?

I’m also open to lube suggestions, advice for shaving down there without cutting myself if anyone has the time to educate me on that!

I tried to look up here on Reddit ways to prepare as well as clean before using a plug, does everyone use a douche for something like this or is there a better way to do this?

Edit: To be clear I mean Legalized, Regulated, and Normalized. (Regulate is a scary word, I know).

Its a fact that prostitution has stabilized large scale societies, providing access to sexual intimacy that would otherwise be unavailable to people outside of marrige or limited by schedule, or just not up for a relationship, but everyone should have access to sex regularly for good mental and emotional health. We need to legalize it and regulate it. Some people love being the center of so much sexual attention and find it exciting.... but we need systems to screen out people who are being exploited and generally don't belong in that line of work. If that is the case we also have to stop shaming prostitutes and johns. There are all kinds of reasons to see a prostitute that are perfectly reasonable.

Authoritarian Religious leaders have had their way for over 15 centuries! And we have only been miserable for it. Legalize prostitution, make laws to protect sex workers! We can end the loneliness epidemic and have a cultural revolution in one fell swoop! Contact your appropriate law makers!

I came here to talk about a subject that affected me (and I know that it affects other men).

Grower VS Shower

During my youth time I always though that I had a small penis. I read about the average sizes in my country and around the world. I discovered that I was above average, however it always look kinda small. During my university period, I played soccer, swimming and other activities where I would need to shower with other guys, obvious you end to looking (and making some comparison in your head) to other penis, and I felt inferior because of it. My penis looked small in comparison. I even had a situation where guys were commenting about sizes. I felt ashamed.

Only when I had a experience girlfriend, she told me I had a very good size (both on length and girth). At first I though that she was just being nice, however she guaranteed me that she wasn't, and she told me I was a grower.

For the ones that don't know:

• Grower: your difference from flaccid to erect is over 4cm (in my case the difference is around 13cm)
• Shower: your difference from flaccid to erect is under 4cm

Of course she opened a new world to me, I started to investigate and I was amazed. I started to believe that I have a very good size, but... In my mind I am small because I see my penis flaccid.

I already have my "traumas" but if you are a grower, just try not compare flaccids.

Keep strong fellow grower!

Hi everyone, first time poster here. My wife and I [30] just had the most amazing weekend of our entire 12 years of being together. We don’t have any friends so sharing it here to get it off my chest because it was a high like I have never felt in my entire life.

Over the last 2 weeks my wife and I made a huge leap in our communication as a couple and we really opened up almost like a switch was flipped on. Communicating our likes, potential ideas for future things to try, etc.

Friday night we decided to explore fisting. That in itself was a huge turn on for both of us, my wife took it like a champ and squirted literally so much, more than she ever has. That was the super hot beginning to our weekend.

Saturday we went out to dinner and had a great time, after dinner we went to a sex super store that we have here in our city. We snagged a clone a willy, a creature cock, a dick sleeve, spreader bar, and a leather paddle. That was a super fun experience to do together. When we went home we had some drinks and played some board games then proceeded to have the most amazing sex after. Starting with some teasing then our favorite 69, then I ate her out some more making her cum multiple times, she rode her new toy while sucking my dick it was so hot. After she got off riding her toy she got on the bed and I went to town on her clit with my tongue again, she then proceeded to squirt all over my face again so much that it was dripping off my chin. After that I tossed the sleeve on and fucked her, she kept cumming over and over. After that was done I took the sleeve off and fucked her doggy style until I came in her.

Sunday was the main event, around Christmas time I booked us a couples Boudir shoot. Something neither of have experienced, we were a little nervous at first but our photographers were amazing. The shoot was a 50/10 it exceeded both of our expectations beyond what we we imagined. Prior to the shoot we went and got her a sexy new bra in panty set in this burgundy color. We booked a stay in a luxury hotel and arrived around 3 got all checked in and texted the photographer for them to come the photographers were husband and wife and they had the flow going so well. As we were waiting we were definitely nervous but we agreed to let ourselves go and just experience it. Once they arrived we were dressed in a suit and dress. We started off the shoot doing just regular photos together and solo in our nice attire. My wife had on her burgundy set we had just purchased and it was protruding out of the dress just enough to turn me on. As the shoot continued we removed our clothing so we were just in underwear and my wife had some sexy heels on we did the same tons of together and solo photos. It was such a turn on to see how sexy my wife looked and the female photographer just kept saying how sexy and hot she looked and I seriously couldn’t have agreed more. After we got all those photos done they said “remove whatever your comfortable with” well we were ready to get naked so they had us remove each others clothing in a sexy way while they took photos it was super hot. We then took a bunch of nudes together and as we approached the end of the shoot they asked what’s your favorite position? We love to 69 so they had us 69 and took photos of us! When I tell you this was the most euphoric experience of my life it still doesn’t even put into words the high we had from it. After that extremely sexy part we finished off with pictures in the shower. Making out under the water and watching the water drip down my wife’s face was the fantasy I never knew I needed in my life. We can’t stop saying how much fun it was and my mind and body are still in the high from it today.

After our shoot we went out to the bar and had some drinks, we planned to role play as strangers but the high from the shoot took our mind off it and I don’t think either of us would’ve been able to do what we intended if we had tried it. We also brought all our toys to the hotel to have another great night of sex but unfortunately we had to much to drink and by the time we made it back to the hotel we didn’t end up having sex.

After a nice nights sleep we woke up this morning and I was so horny I just had to taste my wife. So I took the covers off and ate her for awhile until she came and then we had some super passionate sex to begin our day.

TLDR - my wife and I had the most amazing sex this weekend and I 1000% recommend doing a Boudir shoot with your significant other.

I'm a 22-year-old male, slightly obese (187 cm, 110 kg), and l've been dealing with some unexpected issues during my first sexual experiences. I don't have anyone I can comfortably talk to about this, so l'm seeking for some advice. This is a bit NSFW, but I need help understanding what's going on.

Background:

• I've been masturbating to porn regularly since I was 14/15 years old, and I suspect it might have affected me.
• Recently, I decided to lose my virginity, so l hooked up with someone.
• On the first day, I had masturbated twice earlier to porn, and this routine isn't unusual for me.

Experience 1:

• During foreplay (kissing, nipple licking), I got hard quickly, and she put on a condom.
• We began with cowgirl position, and I expected to finish quickly, but surprisingly, I didn't.
• As we continued switching positions (blowjob, handjob, missionary, doggy), I gradually lost my erection.
• She tried her best with foreplay, but nothing worked. Eventually, I had to masturbate myself to climax, even though my penis was limp.

I left feeling disappointed and confused, wondering why this happened.

Experience 2:

• The next day, I tried again n with another girl.
• I had rested well, eaten dark chocolate, and drank pomegranate juice. I also checked my erections that morning, and they seemed fine.
• Masturbated once that afternoon
• Foreplay worked again, and I got hard initially, but once we started switching positions, my erection gradually disappeared.
• Despite trying various things (sucking nipples, her moaning, etc.), I couldn't stay hard. I ended up masturbating myself to climax again.

Experience 3:

• On the third day, I met with a different girl who was more physically attractive.
• I had plenty of rest, ate well, and had a drink (an old fashioned) that night.
• Despite the variety of activities (cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, boobjob, nipple play, 69, submissive play, ear licking), I still went limp midway, as in like during intercourse.
• I had to masturbate myself to climax once again after nearly two hours of trying to have sex with her continuously.

Concerns:

1. Could I have erectile dysfunction(ED)?
2. Is it caused by condoms or too much lube?
3. Is it caused by my obese situation?
4. Could it be performance anxiety or mental stress?
5. Have years of excessive porn use and masturbation desensitized me?
6. Could hydration, sleep, or diet play a role?

How I Feel: I'm incredibly frustrated and disappointed in myself. I feel like l've failed, and I'm worried something is wrong with me. I can get aroused and achieve an erection during foreplay, but I lose it during intercourse and can only climax with my own hand. After this situation, I tried masturbating to porn again the next day, and I had no issues at all, came within minutes like usual. I really need help figuring out what's going on and what I can do to improve this. Any advice or insights from those who've been through something similar would mean a lot to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this

Edit: turns out she left out some important information. She's planning on moving away in the next 3 months. Which is probably a lot of her hesitation to get physically involved.

I've gone on three dates with somebody. The first date I asked to kiss her at the end, she said "no cuz I'm kind of a germaphobe". Second date at the end I asked to kiss her good night, she said no. Third date, I asked again (we were in a more private space, I thought she would be more comfortable) and she said no. We talked about it more and it turns out she has some past trauma with an abusive guy that she dated. That explained a lot.

She's very cuddly, so she doesn't mind being around me or anything like that.

Anyway, elsewhere on Reddit people are saying "You're not respecting her boundaries by asking her several times" and I think that's kind of crazy. She hasn't told me that she doesn't want kissing at all. She's just told me that she doesn't want kissing right then and then I take that as a no for the rest of the day kind of thing.

if you get told no to something that the person hasn't said they are not interested in at all, is it fine to ask a couple of days later?

For example if she said she had no interest in anal at all and I was asking for anal every time we had sex, that would be coercive. But if she says she's fine with anal sometimes but she says no that time, it's okay to ask the next time.

I absolutely hate the idea of giving or receiving head and doing Anal. It all seems unhygienic and disgusting to me. Because of this I haven't been able to get in a relationship. That's a huge deal breaker for men. Is there anything else I can do as a replacement for that? Or should I just accept being single forever

So my boyfriend and i are long distance in terms of country but we are in the same region. I want to plan a trip next year to go to his country and spend a week/ weekend with him there, where hopefully we will have..alone time ifykwim. However, I live with my parents and i am not sure how to get that idea across for them to let me go on my own (ill pay for everything myself ofc). I have never travelled to a new country by myself before. I was thinking of getting my favorite wayyyy older cousin to come with me maybe and some friends as well and make the most of my trip. Any suggestions on how to bring it across to my parents? I don't want them to come😭 much less drag the entire family (theyre that type of family..one goes all must follow😔🙏🏽). Also, he can't exactly come to my country for a beach staycation as even if we get a hotel or a airbnb close to a beach, everything will still need for us to drive and neither of us does yet😭 Whereas, in his country it's all walking distance.

Any ideas/suggestions?

20[M4F] Hey 👋, my gf and I use stardust to track her period and it’s been 16 days since she was meant to have her period. In its place was a little bit of spotting for a few days but no period.

She seems pretty relaxed about it and says it’s a normal amount for her period to be off by but I can’t help but be anxious.

We always use protection but accidents happen so, is this REALLY a normal occurrence or should I get her a test.

TL:DR - Is 16 Days missed period grounds for worry?

Men, remember your best sex. What did woman do, so you really enjoyed it. Or just from your imagination, what you think will make sex interesting and really nice. So basically, after what you would say that a woman is awesome in bed?

My fiancé has shared that one of her fantasies is being watched during intimacy. I’d love to help her explore this safely and in a way that prioritizes her comfort. She hasn’t specified a preference for who the observer should be, but I believe she’d be more comfortable with someone we know rather than a stranger.

I’m trying to figure out how to approach this in a sex-positive, respectful, and discreet way. Have any of you navigated something similar? What advice would you give to someone exploring this kind of fantasy with their partner?

Thanks in advance for your help!

Let me start by saying my wife and I have been together for almost 20 years, we have kids and a great life all around, we support one another and work as a team.

Our sex life gets better as we age as well, my wife has put on weight but it makes her even more attractive to me, she resembles in some ways a thick porn actress and is extremely beautiful. I’ve been her only partner as we meet early in college. Our sex talk always gravitates towards fantasying while we’re having sex that other men are joining us so while I eat her out she will pretend she is giving a blowjob and even make sounds like she is, I find this very hot. Her top fantasy is men leaving loads on her, she’ll get extremely detailed, “oh he just left a load on my forehead and cheek, and the other guy left a load on my breasts” and she then pretends to rub it over her body…. She told me her top fantasy is men jerking off and cumming all over her, essentially a bukake, these are things we would never do in real life but I’m wondering if other women have this fantasy and what are your reasons for them? Is it empowering? Any thoughts

So hard to get any results online. I’m looking for recommendations on positions that allow male anal penetration during PIV. We’ve done basically a reverse “see saw” position, with her laying flat on her back while we’re in a 69 position but with our genitals over each others. And I go PIV while she fingers my ass. But I’m wondering if there are any other positions that may be viable for this type of play?

I'm gay, genderqueer and a furry; I'm annoyed with how "think of the children" the furry community and LGBTQ have become.

Every time there's a pride event or convention, the same "should we ban kink" conversation happens because these are events organized by a sexual liberation movement and a sex positive internet subculture so sexual things happen at them. people wear harnesses, pup masks, diapers, have orgies in private, and yes sometimes public sex happens at adult street fairs where they check your id before you can even see anything.

I'm tired of other furries saying "the sexual part is just the weird fringe groups" no it's a big part of the community for most of us. people who have sex in fursuits aren't the problem, people who like knots aren't the problem, consensual sex acts between adults isn't the problem. The problem is that everything needs to be completely family friendly all the time because I guess we forgot about stonewall already and assimilationism is actually super cool.

I know queer kids exist, I was one of them for 18 years, but could we maybe not make everything about them.

We have only talked about it once. She just said porn is weird and i said i do not watch it (i was a bit afraid to say yes). I do wank to porn once or twice a month. But generally without. Sex is nice but there's rarely time for it since we need multiple hour sessions. So like once a week or every two weeks.

I asked before here but i still get the shame feeling when i look at it. I like bikinis, undressing, women masturbating and that kinda stuff. I could bring it up but i'd rather not because i cant find a moment to bring it up ever. She does not watch it as far as i know, she's rather new to masturbating in the first place, and sex too, but she nowadays actually pleasures herself on her own which is huge progress. Not for the sake of practice but because she likes it! I wish i could see her in my mind as a mental image but it's really hard to remember human bodies, features and details, especially faces. I prefer sex when i can see her, hold her and see her close her eyes, her smile, her legs that go all shaky and her cute sounds. Porn or just wanking without porn just ain't the same but yeah, like comparing a mcdonalds to a three course dinner then porn and wanking is a mcdonalds.

It'd be cool to have sex more often but we're both so busy, sometimes we plan a evening just for the sake of sex and nothing else to rush away for or any times to keep.

I feel so much shame for it and anxiety. I'm not sure how to bring it up.

Edit: i think i'm gonna quit porn entirely. Wanking is fine tho. Wish me luck!

(burner account for personal reasons)

Today while we were both at work, my wife let me know that when we'd meet up at home she'll want me. All of me. And she let me know many more things in the same vein, and vice versa ;)

We had had great sex yesterday, which made me look forward to today even more. When we got home, things heated up and escalated pretty quickly from foreplay in the bedroom, to sex in bed, to various events in the shower, and then back to bed. We celebrated each others bodies and our favourite positions, and tried multiple new positions, switching up the rhythm, and so on...

Somehow, we both kept from coming for a very long time until my wife came. We then took a bit of a cuddle break before going in for a second round, at the end of which I experienced what definitely felt like a multiple orgasm, which was new to me as a man - and i would love for it to be not just a one time thing. Right after, I helped my wife come a second time with my mouth.

From the moment we got home and started messing around to the moment I looked at the time after we cleaned up, 3 and a half hours had gone by. For a couple in our thirties who definitely haven't been as active physically or sexually as we probably should, i think that's pretty impressive. Most importantly, it was really fucking awesome!

We are now both very tired and relaxed.