I (M 18) just had a realization moment that some of my friends don't really like the fact I'm so sex positive and always open to have a conversation about. I think it's so interesting but they will sit there and call me weird. Today when I brought up the fact I would be seeing my FWB this weekend,I was called desperate by my friend. I didn't say anything then but i was a little passed off. Regardless the point is,how do I find people that see it the same way I do?

Thoughts/Research on Chastity?

Is there any good research or even just anecdotal evidence from this subreddit about chastity? I have been recently open with my partner about my sissy/bi/submissive side. With both of us being bi switches she accepted it and allows me to do a lot, like even getting dildos and buttplugs to play with myself. However, we have always been a bit hesitant on chastity. While I like bi/submissive play, as I said we are both switches, meaning I dominant her every now and then too. She is a fan of my size, about 7-8 inches and we also want kids in the future. This is why we have been hesitant because we dont know how long we can experiment with chastity before i causes more permanent or serious effects like actually reducing size or reproduction. We like the idea of being denied ie locktober or no nut November with it, but is a month too long? Especially for the first time???

TLDR; While I am a sub sometimes, I’m not a sissy always and my partner still likes my cock, and we want kids eventually? Will chastity cause irreversible changes? How long can I be locked for starting out?

So I’ve (33F) been on here a few times recently to discuss the amazing sex I’ve been having with my new FWB.

Well, last night was another great one for the books. We decided to try anal together for the first time (it was his first time ever doing it; I’ve done it with 2 past partners but not very successfully). I can’t say I was afraid of anal per se, but it’s not been my favorite thing by any means due to past lackluster experiences.

You guys. This time changed all of that! It was AMAZING!!!! Not sure if it’s just because we have insane chemistry or because we did extensive foreplay, but it was soooo pleasurable. Omg. He had been eating my pussy and ass and fucking me vaginally for the better part of an hour on and off when he asked if I wanted to switch to anal. We’ve done anal play with fingers before this so I was semi comfortable with something going in there lol. Thankfully he is a gentleman and took his time. We used a ton of coconut oil and he started off with just the head of his penis. Slooooowly pushing in and out of the front of my asshole. After a while I realized I could relax even more if I brought my vibrator out and rubbed it on my clit, so I did and that worked like magic. As soon as my pussy started contracting from the clit stimulation he slid right in fully in my asshole. Slowly thrusting in and out. He would take breaks to kiss my buttcheeks and rub my back and tell me how good I was doing 😩 my orgasm was absolutely unreal. I swear I must’ve forgotten my own name because I was too busy yelling his as my orgasm took over 😂

10/10 experience. Dare I say now I’m an anal girl?!

I don't like etiquette, i m not cis but i don't want to be call "non cis personn". i don't understand why cis men are usually not accepted in sexpositiv parties i don't want to choose because i don't like gender, for me we are all the same. i m french and i hate gender nouns we have. So when i see only 2 category : "cis man" and "other than cis man" i choose "cis man", gender "other" , sexuality "other".

i usually didn't had problems for my previous parties but for today i was rejected with the reason: your gender and sexuality don't match with the category you selected. Imo, i think is discrimination and force people to choose a side even if they don't want. i don't have problems to say " i m not cis" but only when i know i m with cis people. i don't want to be see as a cis or non cis personn. i m not feeling well to discriminate a group of people and i don't want to join group if they are only "non cis people". i think is toxic and 2nd i m afraid they ll try to "educate" me for something i m not agreeing. (excluding a group of people) What's your opinion about it? i don't know if it's very clear, i have ADHD.

what do you think?

So I've never tried any sex toys before, but I've wanted to get into it. Do you all have any recommendations for male sex toys that I can try that are quality and affordable? I want to try a few types and have a budget for know of $100. Any help is appreciated.

Has anyone else found that they have different moans during sex? I have found three so far:

1. Heavy breathing that happens when I try to be quiet when I play with myself and as a precursor to the next one
2. A moan that is similar in pitch to my normal speaking voice when I’m happy, this is the standard moan for being felt up and played with
3. A deep and low pitch grown that happens when things are really intense

I extremely attracted to my husband, in the words of Holly Flax, he exudes sex. I have fantasies I’d love to explore with him, and I want to start building up the excitement by sending him flirty messages, whispering something steamy when he’s not expecting it or just right out sexting him. But I find myself holding back, feeling too shy, and only able to open up when we’re already in the heat of the moment.

I want to be bolder, to let him know what I’m feeling beforehand. I know he’s receptive and open-minded and that he loves it when I share my fantasies. But I keep worrying that he might be taken aback or that I’d somehow put him off – even though I know that’s unrealistic. Every time I’ve opened up, the experience has been incredible, it makes me feel beautiful, brings us closer, and adds so much passion to our intimacy but also our day to day.

I’m ready to get past this shyness, but how? I’d also love some ideas for things I could whisper to him or things I could say for sexting, I just don’t know what to say, how do I become better at it? The most I’m able to come up with is “I can’t wait to feel you in me” haha

Hello, this may be stupid and can definitely be taken down if it needs to. But I (23 F), have only ever had sex w one person. I lack a lot of experience and don't know how to do a lot (like kissing w tongue LMAO) but I am wanting to start hooking up w people cause ya know im young and would love to have sex without needing to be in a relationship. But because I am so inexperienced i get insecure and overthink a lot of things. I was wondering if by possibly joining different kink/bdsm community apps if I could possibly have hook ups with individuals who are willing to teach me or like talk me through different things. I dunno, if that made sense BUT any advice or app recommendations you may have would be great !

Following quite a common advice to simply search for kinkparties in your own area (the Netherlands in my case), I came across a list of websites, but viewing those websites requires a fetlife account. Before I make an account, I would like to know what people their own experiences have been with fetlife. So that is my primary question.

My second question is whether there are issues with going to kink activities when you have no sex experience? For me it seems to be preferable to "normal" dating, because from what I can tell I am a-romantic and I would rather meet people that do not expext a romantic relationship. I have also communicated in my friend group that I would be open to a FWB relationship (the friendgroup in question is sexpositive, but most are still figuring out what they want themselves), but no one has expresses an interest.

My third question is what experience you have had with the acceptance of furries. Yes, I am one, so I would like to know whether it would also be a safespace for furries like me. Most public (online) spaces tend to have a decent chance of seemingly random harassement when some find out you are a furry.

Anyway, I hope these questions are somewhat relevant for this subreddit, but I am unsure where else I could.

Like I don’t get it. Banning porn entirely is literally in Project 2025 and Trump’s party is full of the exact same religious nutjobs who were pushing their “moral majority” shit back in the 90s and early 2000s. Ppl like Corinna Kopf and that one OF model who spoke at the GOP convention are some of the most baffling cases of “Lobsters for Butter Sauce” I have ever seen.

My bf has a blood kink and I need help understanding So as some back story I (18f) and my bf (18m) Have been together for 5 months. We have a great sex life. We included a lot of kinky things in bed. He calls me mommy sometimes but most of the time I’m more submissive. We do spanking, choking, dom sub play, food play, wax play, bondage, and homemade porn and pegging. I also have a cum kink. We are both really open with what we like. A few months ago I went over to his house and I told him I didn’t know about having sex because I was on my period ( I wanted to but was insecure about him thinking I was gross.) But he was open to it and had no problem with it. He even gave me head. It was my first time having periods sex and I loved it. It helped with my cramps and it made me feel so close to him. After we finished we got in the shower then he told me that the blood turned him on. I was a little weirded out by it. I asked him what he liked about it and he said it t was a visual thing. Then this morning I got a bloody nose and he told me I look hot. I just don’t get what he likes about it and I find it strange. He said he doesn’t want to do anything to make me bleed but I feel weird. Also is there any way to try it out with fake blood in a safe way ?

I am a 22m student, studying computer science. I'm unsure whether my perspective is askew or perhaps not. I have a lot of internalized grief about sex and my position on it, but I've never really had a safe space to discuss.

As I said, I'm a student, meaning that I'm not necessarily isolated since I live on a college campus. I’ve also been in relationships and I'm not entirely inexperienced, but there's no lack of anxiety about the subject for me. In my personal life, I spend most time between the gym, classes, and a cafe that I try to go to, but I generally don't talk to many folks because it can be very stressful. In secret, I'm actually very keen to have a partner and active sex life. I really enjoy learning about the subject and exploring ideas.

With all that in mind, I have a laundry list as big as my arm of things I want to explore. I'm probably a dominant switch (I think), so most kinks fall under that ‘tendency’, for lack of a better word. Unfortunately, the first big limiter to healthy lifestyle has been my trust in others. I find myself being possessive of a partner and need to back off instead of engaging with them. Many of my kinks involve investing in long term subtly sexual activities instead of one-and-done ideas. One relevant fantasy might be a general free use time in the evenings, perhaps being extra close, playful, and explorative while we watch a movie/show each night. I don't just mean in a vanilla way. In fact, there are too many ways i’d love to expand on this. To me, this doesnt seem unhealthy, but… the catch is that I enjoy the exploitative part of this. I like giving anal, tying someone down, breath play, and I've even been curious toward CNC. I have fantasized about having a relationship where we trust each other to push soft boundaries healthfully. I'm very inexperienced in these things, but I find most pleasure from trying them slowly, deliberately, but with an emphasis on pushing small boundaries by trying something new. With that is where my first question or AITA moment arises. In general, this is a really contradictory idea. I’ve never asked a partner about this, because it seems legit to assume that this is unhealthy behavior. How would you do BDSM/CNC play with someone who likes the idea that its new and scary for you both? My second area of concern is with myself. For experienced folks, is this interest something that they found led to an unhealthy partnership? Even if I attempt to explore this type of thing, the number of potential partners dwindles very fast. I imagine that it could be extremely hard to find someone who aspires toward the same adventurous behaviors w/o running into trouble. I consider an exemplary model of poor mental health. I’ve depression, ADHD, and trust issues which have interfered in my sex life before. The more I consider looking for a partner, I continue to worry if this would be a destructive lifestyle choice. First and foremost, I've never found a safe place to discuss so something like this. Has a sex positive lifestyle ever affected you poorly? Should I avoid looking for a safe space and a partner like this, as someone who struggles making acquaintances and with self-image?

I’m going to convince myself that I’m afreak for the next couple hours 😭, but i’ll check tomorrow or perhaps later today. Apologies in advance if what i’m saying is problematic. I’lllimely try some seperate communities to see about different feedback. If there is an issue, please let me know and this will be taken down promptly.

For years I’ve had this kink/fantasy of sharing my wife with other men and a couple times we’ve actually acted on it when we were early 20s. We’re both 30 now.

The first couple times weren’t ideal, at least for her. She was open to trying it out but was obviously taken a back by me bringing it up to her. I think she thought it could be hot but the problem were the two different guys we’ve tried it with, couldn’t really perform well in the moment and I think it just made things more awkward in the end.

That was over 7-8 years ago, and I still have the deep desire to try it again. I’m not into the humiliation aspect like with cuckolding but more so on the Hotwife version. I want her to be treated like the beautiful goddess she is and be pleasured by two men. I want her to have a great experience since I think she’s still open to it, but hesitant to do it again. It’s been years since I’ve brought it back up, so I’m worried about mentioning it again and how she will react. If it was with the right guy, I think it would be a lot better this time. I just can’t stop thinking about out this kink for years, and don’t really know how to go about initiating it again.

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hello! so…. im F 27 y/o virgin and i’ve never been involved in anything sexual. growing up ive dealt with depression and situations that kept my attention and interest in stuff outside myself, outside my needs and desires. im not much of a people person, i’m not touchy except when i’m really down for someone, but it’s not something common in me.i’m working on myself in therapy and it’s great, but every time i think about wanting to get intimate with someone i feel insecure about my body, about what is expected of me, about not looking a certain way. idk i feel scared to be with someone and feel rejected because of a body issue

how can i work my relationship with myself and sex? how can i change my point of view in sexual interchange and claim my power, enjoy it when the time comes?

So I (M21) consider myself straight (i've never been with nor have any attraction to men) but I do have a very open mind when it comes to sex stuff.

Recently, I've decided to buy some butt toys to try it out by myself and i kept them hidden away in a random backpack. My parents decided to open said backpack today and found my toys.

Basically, they woke me up by trowing all of my toys into my face while laughing and making fun of me. My mom kept saying how she was disappointed that I was gay (even though I'm not) and my dad didn’t even say anything.

I never hurt anyone with these fucking toys and I just wanted to explore my own fucking body, dammit. I honestly feel like just offing myself and saving myself from the situation. Fuck all this.

Anyway, sorry for any typos, english isn’t my native language.

Hi everyone, so my collegue and I are building a worldwide sexual life study called World Sex Map. We’ve just released the website this week and are excited to share it with the community <3

Basically, our vision is to share data-based insights about sexual life around the world. By doing so, we hope to spark sex positive conversations, based on real data from thousands of people worldwide. The study aims to foster a deeper understanding of sexual health and behaviors, providing information for exploration and learning

Right now, the website and survey are only in English, but we’re already working on translating it to other languages (DM me if you want to help!). Also, we’d love your feedback. If you have any suggestions or ideas, please let us know

We’re looking to collect 25,000 responses to publish the first results. So feel free to share it with your partners and friends :)

Participate in the survey: https://worldsexmap.com

Growing up, I struggled a lot with body image and it really messed with my confidence, especially when it came to intimacy. I’d get in my head, overthinking how I looked and not focusing on the connection or enjoying the moment. It took time, but once I started working on body confidence, things totally shifted.

Now, I feel way more comfortable in my skin, and it’s made such a difference in how I connect with my partner. Letting go of those insecurities has brought a whole new level of fun and freedom. Anyone else go through something similar?

Ngl, growing up I had a lot of mixed messages about sex, and it wasn’t until I started learning about sex positivity that things really changed for me. It helped me feel more confident and open about exploring what I like, and it made a big difference in my relationships too. ❤️

What about you? Was there a moment, book, video, or experience that made you see things in a more positive light? Would love to hear what helped you along the way!

I (22f) have been struggling with this for quite a while. I have been masterbating since my mid-teen years. And have only had 2 boyfriends so far. 1 that I didn't sleep with but did shenanigans. He was a POS and we were only officially together for about a month and a half because he got mad at me cause I was not ready to have sex yet- I was also r×ped as a child by my babysitter over and over again for years and when I told him about it, he got mad at me for not telling him sooner.... because apparently it should be something thats super easy to talk about?? Idk he was trash.) And my current boyfriend (23m) is the best man I have ever met. I told him about my trauma before anything overly spicy happened between us. He has never once made me feel indifferent because of my trauma. He comforted me any time I felt broken because I couldn't carry on in our shenanigans. I did not think any man would ever love me because it affected me so much when thinking about sex. But now I feel so much better. He was okay with waiting as long as I needed before having sex but spicy shenanigans would happen quite frequently. Then 5 or so months into our relationship, I decided I was ready. It's been amazing! At first he would encourage me to cum and really hoped I would release for him, but... I feel broken because even while masterbating myself, I've never reached that point. It is so frustrating. I feel I could but really it feels impossible. I get the shakes, I sweat like crazy, my legs go weak... even with clit and penetrative stimulation together.... neither work. Not together or seperate. I do not know what to do. A few times into the beginning of our sex life I eventually asked him to stop begging me to cum because it made me feel super under pressure and anxious. It just feels so impossible.

Any suggestions on what I could do or we could do ad a couple?

Ps. I am against porn for trauma reasons, and he quit his porn addiction early into our relationship. So no suggestions with porn please. You do you, but it's not for us (especially me).

Seems more "business oriented" for all other animals. Maybe the science folks have info on this?

Animals do bond with one another, be it pair bonding or friendship.

Oh, bonobos have sex with their friends, so I guess that's one. Any other animals? Do they cuddle after sex?

So this hit me like a ton of bricks and I'm trying not to panic but I feel like garbage right now.

My (25m) girlfriend (21f) of nearly 2 years said in our first couple's therapy session that she isn't sure if she's had an orgasm with me. She's never mentioned this before and there's definitely been signs, at least for me, that I've pushed her over the edge.

When I asked her to explain after the session she said she just doesn't know because:

(1) I'm her first real partner. The first guy she slept with was to lose her virginity before going to college so it was awkward and didn't do anything for her. The second guy pretty much just used her as a "sex toy" and became a semi stalker afterwards.

(2) Her family never really discussed the topic of sex so she never explored herself and only knows what an orgasm should feel/look like according to smutty books and porn.

(3) There's times where she can't fully relax and said "I get stuck in my head and pull myself out of it when you aren't paying attention"

I just feel so lost. Like I know she hasn't finished every time but to not even know is just devastated. I feel like throwing up right now. I asked her if she'd be willing to just explore herself without me, even if it's just masturbating alone to see if she could bring herself there and she said she would try but it was in a tone she uses to just appease me. I have very little to no faith that she's actually going to try on her own because sometimes I feel like the only progress that gets made in our sex life is when I'm directly taking the lead on everything. Plus this isn't the first time I've asked her to masturbate and she's never once done it.

How do I even move forward with this? I feel like if I try to "fix" this she'll be too in her head and I'll end up feeling like trash again.

So, my friend (20F) and I (21M) went to primary school together for two years but didn’t really talk at the time. We reconnected last year, and since then, we've grown really close. We're from the same city, but we study in different places now, about 30 minutes apart.

We’ve developed strong feelings for each other, and we're super comfortable around each other, even to the point of sending nudes. Whenever I ask her for something, she never says no.

Recently, we’ve been talking about meeting up and making out, but without taking her virginity (which we both agree on). The problem is, we don’t have a private place to do it. We’ve considered doing it on a train, but we know that’s pretty risky.

Now, we're trying to figure out where we can meet and be comfortable. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated!

U can add that we sexted and had phone sex and we are sexually comfortable with each other

Update : We live in a Muslim country So if we not married we can't And if we got caught in somewhere else we're in a big trouble even people wouldn't rent us an apartment or smtg if we not married

We pretty much always have good sex, we listen to each other what we both like and that works really well. But yesterday and today i got distracted during it. The day before it was a clanging noise in the heating element, i explained to her it was the neighbors, happens in other rooms too, no clue why they do it. And today well, there's this post that explains it but is too long. https://old.reddit.com/r/AutisticWithADHD/comments/1g83nfz/i_am_forgetful_and_so_dumb_that_i_have_to_write/? She got turned off. We talked about it, we're good at that whenever other things happen, it is one of our strengths as a couple. Has worked every time before worked that day too.

But TL;DR: I need notes on my phone to remember and organize everything in my life. I am very dumb and forgetful due to ADHD. I have been itching, like i can not relax because there's a nagging thought in my head to remind me to write down X and Y so i can remember later. I can not relax until i have written it down. In this case it was a photo of a thing i found today so i could remember to send it to a person to ask what it is. I figured i could get it done quickly when i was in the direction of the bathroom so my mind could be at peace. Either way, i promised yesterday it would not happen again. But i forgot again today, it turned her off. She cried a lot for an hour, asked if it was her fault if i find her boring etc but i find her as exciting as ever. And i said many many times i was sorry it was my fault because yeah it was fucking my fault im a dumb fucking moron who broke a promise i hate having ADHD.

We could not talk this one out. We'll probably figure it out later but it makes me feel like shit because i hurt her, and she hasn't cried so much as the time she tried to reduce her depression meds. She's back on them now but she cried even more than before. Like the snap of a finger. I hurt her and i'm a horrible person.

So yeah how do you not get distracted... I hurt her deeply now. Sex is supposed to be fun... She has a lot of anxiety, and she has been without it for a long time but it flares up a lot when she gets sad. And the worst part is adrenaline makes me calm as fuck while she is crying her eyes out, she suffers while i am fucking calm as a rock, that's just wrong.

Edit: We've talked about it now. Feels a lot better for both. And then had really good sex. She understands a bit more that my distractedness is not disinterest, and i will do my best to meditate together with her to be a bit more mindful.

I've seen a lot of pornographic movies and clips. They're entertaining enough, but I've fantasized about being physically present while couples are having sex (with their permission, of course). Sometimes being invited while watching to do certain things, such as suck a breast or put fingers inside (if the man doesn't want his lady penetrated by other penises). I just think it's extremely sexy to actually watch people up close and personal.

Does that make me weird?

I think one thing I kinda yearn for is conversations around sex and kinks and I think amongst a lot of the online community - sex positive means some sort of maniac or gooner as they call them and so there’s that fear of being judged and with the people you talk to online - while the convos get erotic it’s mostly just that … no higher level stuff … I dunno if I’m expressing this right but ahhhh

I'm not trying to make sure I'm not gay or anything like that, just wanna know for sure if it counts. I'm attracted romantically only for women, but when it comes to sex I absolutely don't care. I just like sex as an idea and it's not really important for me who's my partner, what's my position or what kind of sex do I have. In fact I like it the most when it gets weird and unusual. I'm pretty sure I'm definetly not heterosexual, but I've been constantly told that it doesn't count if I just want sex with other people besides women and not relationships. Seem bs to me, is it?

This has never steered be wrong. A few examples:

•I intend to revel in the attractive people in my life •I intend to indulge in shameless pleasure •I intend to connect with my divine feminine/masculine •I intend to explore without guilt •I intent to make my body feel good

Even if I feel guilty about masturbating, or if I’ve been resisting/fighting the urge for some reason, I feel like setting an intention beforehand brings me back to center. For example, if I sent the intention “I intend to make my body feel good” I might be more inclined to notice that my eyes hurt or that I am tired and then I might chose to sleep instead because it feels good, not because masturbating feels the ‘wrong choice’ that particular night.

Sometimes (my astrology ass has) gotta hit em with: •I call upon Saturn, lord of time to show me the pleasure in waiting, withholding, to bestow me with the patience to remain steadfast so that my pleasure may be even greater tomorrow (Perhaps I’m going on a date in the next day or two, and I want to save my sexual energy for a later time)