I learned recently that other people can tell which direction an orgasm is in (as if in moving closer/further from one) and that they feel a slow build the whole time. I don’t get any kind of buildup until literally right about to orgasm. I also struggle a lot with telling what’ll make me orgasm because it’s all some vague “yeah that feels pretty good” until I suddenly cum. Does anyone have any tips? I’m told a hypotonic pelvic floor might contribute.

Around spring this year, I came out of some heavy dissociation I’ve more or less had for most of my life due to childhood trauma. Subsequently, my libido skyrocketed. I’m 31F, and I definitely noticed that it seems every guy in my life has noticed the change as well. Maybe it’s pheromones or just being more “tapped in” but I’ve had so many requests for dates and just general increase in male attention.

Now I have gotten myself into 2 casual-sexual-relationships over the past 5 months, still ongoing, because of this. The problem is, even tho my libido is really high and I want sex at least once (if not more) a day with my partners I still have yet to orgasm with them. (To clarify: we don’t actually have sex everyday- that would be a logistical nightmare… tho I feel like that’s what my body craves). I am very attracted to them and they are both above average in the bedroom department but still no dice.

I am able to satisfy myself when I go at it alone, although I did have trouble with this years prior, that hasn’t been as much of an issue, especially nowadays. Despite being dissociated a lot in the past, I think I still had a pretty healthy libido and would masterbate around 4-5 times a week, so now that I’m not dissociated, I feel like I’m operating at my bodies optimal capacity.

I’m just looking for some concrete advice on how to reach orgasm because I’m becoming really frustrated and I know my partners really want to get me off too.

i've posted in here before regarding how to learn to come in front of others, because i've always been able to do it alone. i've been with 10 people over the span of nearly 10 years, multiple levels of experiences, multiple genders, enough of them trying to get me off, and its never happened. i mainly want to make this to get it all off my chest and fully help me accept it, and i hope it helps you too.

i originally discovered porn and masturbation when i was about 11. i immediately started relying on porn each and every time i masturbated and did so daily. this contributed to my hyper independence regarding orgasms (i'm already a very hyper independent, mild control-freak, social anxiety kind of gal so this also contributes to my mindset). i really thought this was my main hurdle, so when i was about 23-24, i forced myself to break the porn addiction after more than a decade. it took nearly a year to learn how to orgasm with my hands and a vibrator WITHOUT visual stimulation, simply my ~imagination.~ i do believe this has helped me gain freedom and strength regarding my sexuality overall. masturbation has always been safe, comforting, a good experience for me. i have always felt safe with myself. in most situations, particularly sex and in relationships in my younger life, i did not feel safe, wanted, or loved.

when it comes to sex with others, and honestly just relationships overall, it was a rocky start for me. i was generally unwanted romantically and sexually until the end of high school. this took a pretty significant toll on my overall wellbeing. i ended up jumping into a relationship with some gross dude i found online across the country, i ran away to go visit him, and we had sex even though i didn't want to and was too afraid to say no. it was horrible. that was the first time i had sex.

after that, i broke up with him shortly after but i still felt overall unwanted and unloved. i wanted nothing more than to be in a loving relationship and cherish the good feelings both emotionally and physically. at 17, i ended up joining some sugar daddy website because i wasn't having luck with boys my own age, so i turned to supposed "men." i had a couple sexual encounters with people from here, which were better per say, but only further damaged my sexuality and view on sex being safe, comforting, welcoming, intimate.

due to certain responses to sexual stimuli, physical touch, and the overall topic of sex, coupled with significant memory loss during my childhood, i have suspicions that i experienced other SA as a young child. a few therapists have brought this up when i described my thoughts, feelings, and reactions to these stimuli, and i do have a residual memory suggesting this is the case. however, i actually have a hard time trusting any of this. maybe i don't trust my own body as much as i think i do. my mind and body tend to be disconnected. i am learning how to bridge the gap.

my relationships after that were fine, i guess. typical and normal. i never orgasmed with anyone. by myself, i can only use clit stimulation and can come in anywhere from 5-35 min depending on how the stars align. i have had people try to, but i just get a mental block. i don't get anywhere close to the level of mental or physical stimulation needed to approach orgasm that i get by myself. it has always been a separate thing for me. i provide myself the orgasms and release, and i have sex because it's part of a relationship. it feels good (with the right people, my current bf has been absolutely godsend regarding this) but i never orgasm. and that's okay. i've learned that most people don't want you to think that's okay, both society and certain partners.

my last partner entirely tied his ego and self-confidence to my ability (more like inability) to orgasm with him. he made me think something within me was broken and not right. he then gaslit me into thinking he felt this way for my own benefit. i had no issues with orgasms and sex being separate until he brought it up in terms of him not being satisfied with our sex life because of it. in reality, he was insecure and chose to base his self worth on one of the few things he believed he was previously good at. eventually i learned how to orgasm with him, by using the vibrator and him taking over with head when i was about to O and that's how i would finish. it was good, don't get me wrong, but overall i was hollow, unfulfilled, i knew deep within myself this was forced and i never want any sexual experience for me to feel forced and not organic. i've had enough.

i just don't enjoy orgasming in front of others. it feels performative, like a reflex i prefer to activate alone. it's my body, i want to enjoy that intimate experience alone. as much as i love and trust someone, that level of vulnerability is currently to far outside my reach to feel comfortable with. i don't enjoy head, i love penetration and feel connected to my partner with it, which is what i strive for. i've never orgasmed even alone with penetration. i will likely never organically orgasm with a partner, whether it be my own stimulation or theirs, without it feeling forced and performative. and i learned that that's okay.

my current partner has been so understanding of this. i've explained everything fully and he reassures me if it's something that never happens, that's perfectly okay. i get emotional just thinking about the validation and love i've waned my entire life. for us, sex is organic, natural, and brings us closer together. that's what both of us want. if you want sex free of expectations, you deserve that. do not let anyone make you feel bad about what is comfortable for you and your body, because they chose to tie their fragile ego around your bodily responses.

for my mind and body, orgasming and sex are separate. it's what makes me feel comfortable and satisfied. as i have learned in the recent past, do not let anyone take away your definition of intimacy and sexuality. you deserve comfort, however that is defined for you.

tldr: i bolded my main points but essentially, orgasming and sex are separate events for me, mainly due to upbringing, trauma, and sex/relationship experience. i am at peace with the realization that it's what works best for me and i may never orgasm organically with a partner.

I literally stop breathing when I orgasm.

I’ve been practicing trying to breathe but I’ve noticed that even when I breathe through it afterwards I’ll stop breathing completely or my breaths will be far and few between. I’m worried about my health genuinely. They’re just so intense and I feel such bliss when I’m not breathing I don’t know how to force myself to breathe. My partners have even had to tap my cheek to bring me down. Like a baby taking its first breath. Is that weird?

How comparable are these two toys? I have the Satisfyer and it’s just ok. My Dr recommended the Lelo Sona Cruise but know that it’s similar to what I already have.

Has anyone had success with pelvic floor therapy? I’ve been trying to be more mindful during sex, and I think im noticing a lot of my v@gina is numb. Like I don’t feel sensation in most of it… I didn’t see many solutions when I googled it but maybe someone here has experienced similar.

Sex isn’t painful, nor have I experienced any type of trauma sexually. I don’t know what the issue could be honestly.

because I couldn't orgasm with penetration alone.

And this is what I want to leave here:

All kind of orgasms are equally good orgasms.

Our pleasure is our own, if we want it, if we don't, if we have orgasms or if we don't.

Orgasm shouldn't be something performative for our partners, they are not there to take care of partners (fragile) ego.

Our bodies (in)ability to orgasm has nothing to do with our worth as women, as partners, as lovers, as people!!!!!!!

I’ve recently gotten into my first serious relationship. I’m very inexperienced with these sort of things so it’s been a nerve-racking experience. We’ve been talking for a while now and I think this weekend he wants to try going down on me. I’m really scared cause I’ve never cum on my own, let alone with someone else.

Whenever I masturbate it takes me forever to feel like I’m even remotely close to cumming. If I do finally almost get there one of two things will happen. 1, the feeling becomes too intense where it isn’t pleasurable anymore and I stop. 2, I squirt (based on what i’ve been googling i think that’s what it is, but everyone describes it as an enjoyable experience when for me it just feels like i’m peeing) and then i feel way less horny. I know when that happens it isn’t me cumming because there is no pleasure it just stops. I need any tips on how to cum with no experience, plus what I should say to my boyfriend so he will understand or can help me cum. Thank you so much!

(I’ve used a vibrator for my clit and my own fingers (fingering and rubbing my clit) but that’s it)

Most of the posts on this sub are from women who are struggling, deeply frustrated, and looking for advice. That's exactly what we're here for, but it can create an impression of hopelessness. We'd like to provide a way for our members to post updates about what they're doing and how it's going. Even little successes can provide an example and some encouragement, and make a big difference to others.

So this post is your weekly opportunity to share what you've tried and how it's working. Have you found anything that is giving you greater sexual pleasure? Have you gotten closer to orgasm? Found new ways to orgasm?

Everything is welcome, including what you tried that didn't work, but in particular please share your successes!

since i (18 FtM) was a preteen, i’ve always orgasmed by grinding against something firm. it’s the only way i’ve ever been able to orgasm, which has always been fine, even if slightly annoying because of how i can’t do it anywhere but my bedroom.

i’m on testosterone now, and i’m experiencing bottom growth, which is changing the way i can comfortably orgasm. putting that much pressure on my growth hurts because of how sensitive it is. consequently, i need to find a new way to orgasm. i’ve had no luck.

the advice i found on an FtM subreddit was to try grinding like usual until i near climax and then to switch over to using my hands last minute to train my body to orgasm in other ways. sounds great in theory! except that touching myself is such a turn off. (it always has been, even (and especially) before starting testosterone.)

when i tried that method, i’d get near climax, switch over, and then immediately feel like i lost my boner after, like, five seconds. it’s not even dysphoria; it’s just that directly touching myself down there doesn’t feel erotic at all. it just feels sensitive. i’ve tried and tried.

i’ve also tried other methods, like with a shower head, which just felt like it dried me the fuck out.

SOS.

Wanted to share this in case it might be helpful for others. My hips and butthole are consistently clenching and constricted. It’s very uncomfortable and creates a baseline of low grade regular pain. My partner is a wonderful man who is nurturing, loving and intuitive. He regularly massages me because of my pain. One night he intuitively suggested anal sex as a way to release my tension. I had never done it before and felt hesitant. I decided to try it. Ya’ll…my pain is gone. It lasts for days. I don’t have any tension. It’s truly amazing! Its such a relief in my body. I also very much enjoy it and am getting close to a full body orgasm or I am having one. I’m still figuring that out as I’m a squirter and don’t know what an orgasm is without one. If you feel comfortable with it and have a safe partner maybe something to try…

I have a long term partner, now my husband. We’ve tried a lot of things, but the only way I orgasm is when he goes down on me and he’s very generous.

I’ve also experienced usually when he’s going deep and hard, especially doggy where I’m at a point where I’m moaning and screaming, and I also almost squirt and sometimes do, but it doesn’t feel orgasmic? Sometimes it’s like a slow release of pee kinda? Sometimes a splash but never orgasmic.

This has always had me confused, because I do experience vaginal orgasms during my sleep usually mornings. So what’s the PIV sex squirting about?

And how do I get to a point where I feel what I feel some mornings through sex?

I am a 20F, and I have always had a hard time getting there ever since I began having sex. In my life, I have only ever finished 3 times (organically) during sex. Now, the only way I can get off is if I use a vibrator during penetration or something. And this is fine with me, but I’m tired of every man that I sleep with taking it personally. No matter how much I try to explain to them that I have never been able to finish during sex, and that this is genuinely the only way for me to get off, they get all butthurt like I’m insulting their performance in bed. I’ve received comments in the past like “your vagina is broken” or “if you were a normal girl you would’ve came already” and even, “it turns me off when you use a vibrator”. Even my current boyfriend keeps saying things as if he is “competing” with my vibrator and that “one day he will beat the vibrator”. It annoys the fuck out of me. And they all tell me that using the vibrator is why I can’t finish organically, and I’m like, explain how it’s my vibrator if I’ve never been able to finish even BEFORE I got a vibrator.

I didn’t ask to be unable to orgasm during sex. I genuinely can’t believe that there are women out there that can orgasm during sex. I feel actual jealousy thinking about it, even though I know I shouldn’t.

And I hate how egotistical about it my sex partners seem to be. They all think they will be the missing puzzle piece, whose magic dick will deliver me infinite orgasms. And then when it doesn’t happen (like I told them it wouldn’t), either I’m called defective or they need me to coddle them after sex and reassure them “it’s not you, it’s me”. It’s ridiculous. They can understand how sometimes, you just can’t get hard, but when it comes to female sexual dysfunction, any kind of understanding or empathy goes out of the window.

I’m really tired of how much this affects my romantic and sexual relationships, and I don’t understand why this had to happen to me.

I see many people on here say that the purpose of sex isn’t to orgasm, but it’s to feel a connections. I think that’s a an unfair to women so that will be okay being dissatisfied everything they are sexually active with their partner. I’ve been with my partner for about 4 years and I do not orgasm with him regardless of what we try including toys and oral. I’m not exactly sure what “connection” I should be feeling if after everything is over I need to get myself off. I’ve been told that I should focus on the experience and not the lack of orgasm, but what’s the purpose of sex if I’m not getting any release and continue my day frustrated until I can finally get myself off. I’m not blaming him because those are just the cards I was physically dealt and I know he felt bad about his ability to connect with me, but my lack of ability to connect with him. He does his best and I do mines, but I don’t experience any intimacy or connection with him sexually due to my lack of orgasm. I’ve been told by older women that sometimes you don’t start having them until you’re in your 40s or 50s, but I’m not even sure my boyfriend would stay with me for another 20 years (I’m 26) if he can have that sexual connection with another woman that can crave him just as much as he craves her. Idk. I just don’t see the point of having it, but I’m trying not to be selfish because I know my boyfriend really craves and enjoys it.

I found this article through a thread already here, and found it interesting. I am wondering if I myself is a volcano, since I have a little to no sensations like climbing the famous stairs people describe here. For me it’s more steady pleasurable but not a huge build up, until suddenly right before the orgasm there is a huge build up and release. It’s like if I did not know it was possible to get that last build up, I would not know I could orgasm, cause it’s almost like from 0-100( almost😅). And it kind of make sense why I get distracted chasing it, cause it some times feel like a loooong run🙈

What type do you think you experience?

https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/types-of-orgasms-science

Hey, everyone!

I (19F) find it hard to orgasm during sex with my boyfriend, however, I am perfectly fine with doing so through masturbation because I have an easier time getting direct and constant clit stimulation that I can’t quite get during PIV sex.

That's why I decided to search some toys I could use while having penetrative sex with him. I'm torn between getting an bullet vibrator or a clit sucker, I've found some good options that fit my price range, the deal is that I'm not sure which one would be better/easier to use in most positions, I want the experience to be great for both of us, and not make it kill the mood or feel awkward...

I'm really just looking for which one would be better during penetrative sex (vaginal or anal too), not really focused on solo play.

I've never owned any sex toys before so any help would be helpful, thanks!

Hello everyone! This is from a burner because my boyfriend follows my other, main reddit account.

So, for a little context, me and my boyfriend (both of us are 20.) have been dating for almost 6 months now. We do have sex, and it feels really good when we do it. But I haven't had an orgasm. I feel really bad cause we are really big experimenters, and we try it with toys, vibrators, etc. I know this sounds realllllllllllly bad, but I do fake my orgasms, so he doesn't feel bad about not making me finish. And the worst part is, it's just not my boyfriend whom I haven't' been able to have an orgasm with. I can't by myself, none of my exes, both male and female haven't been able to for literally since I discovered self-pleasure. This has been chewing away at me forever, and I genuinely feel like trash because I am doing something wrong by not being able to orgasm?? Please help me. I don't want to keep pretending and getting extreme jealousy when I think about those porno-orgasms, even though I know most of them are fake.

This may seem really invasive and I'm sorry if it is, but what should an orgasm feel like? Is there one specific way it has to be, or can it be like several different ways?? I am looking for advice on this because I don't want to keep feeling like this, like I'm not good enough. Thank you.

So, in the story, the character orgasms twice. First one is described as "ecstacy" in different parts of the body. Second one was described as pleasure in the genitals and of there being "no sense of self. I was all c*nt".

I recall many many years ago having a sexual dream that was enjoyable, but then I felt a pleasurable sensation in my genitals, on and off, and when I could feel that sensation, it felt like it was the only part of me that existed. It was so strange, I have never had that happen any other time in my life, it felt like I became my genitals.

So this was very shocking to me to read an orgasm as described that way and makes me think I've actually had one, if that's how someone describes an orgasm.

Has anyone else had sexual experiences like this?

I have struggled and struggled to climax and it literally affects being able to urinate properly. I know this to be true because I've tested it and the difficult urination symptoms went away temporarily when I had a small orgasm but came back when I started to feel the need again. Wish me luck gals. I'm in the bath giving it time to kick in. Will report back after fun time. I'm praying this is the solution because I had never had this issue before. Until we had kids and struggled with ED on his part which he did not get treated for way too long out of embarrassment. He also just did not know how to pleasure me. So I spent nearly a decade pushing my sexual satisfaction to the side. He has since learned that I refuse to live that way any longer and he could either get with the program or we were finished. He has done his part but I believe I developed a mental block around sex as well as some physical symptoms like no sensation down there and things like that. He has been trying really hard to help me, I'll give him that. To be fair, I was pretty ignorant about my own body for a long time. I feel like if I can just get through that door a few times, I'll be able to climax like I used to. Sending love to all of you wonderful ladies dealing with this issue and feeling broken. I see you and feel your pain.

I’ve never had an orgasm and have been married for over 15 years. I recently talked to my Dr about this and she has suggested that I get either the Hitachi Magic Wand or the Sona Cruise Lelo toy. Does anyone have both of these and can give me feedback on them and which would be better? My husband and I are pretty basic in the bedroom but are trying to look into making things more pleasurable for me.

I’ve never had an issue with orgasming. For the past year, I think I’ve finished maybe twice. I’ve tried everything alone and with my partner. I get right to where I feel like I have to and my body just doesn’t. On top of the main issue I feel horny more often than I ever have except it feels much different when I am now. I do feel like I’ve lost some feeling in my clit but I don’t think that’s the reason since I don’t have a problem with getting to the point where I feel like I should be releasing. I’ve been trying to pay attention when I masturbate and what I’ve realized is while I’m climbing the ladder it’s like I need to suck my stomach in. I don’t know how to describe it but it’s like I’m doing that to try and do one giant kegal and then trying to hold it. Then most recently I noticed after my vagina feels constricted enough that’s when I feel I can orgasm but it feels like my body can’t or I forgot how to release the tightness. I hope this makes even a little bit of sense because I have no clue how to explain what’s going on 😩

I forgot to add when I used to get horny my vagina and clit would pulsate. I don’t feel that anymore.

I’m in my 20s, and I’ve never had a boyfriend, or any kind of sexual contact. I’ve never even kissed a guy. This has all been my choice and I’m okay being in this situation rather than settling, for the most part.

I do wonder though what things would feel like sexually though, were I to be with a guy. When I touch myself the orgasms are pretty unimpressive. I’d compare the endorphin rush to what you’d feel when you get a good stretch in. I’m not even sure if these count as orgasms to be honest, but as soon as I get to that tiny “peak” I lose sensation, which I’ve heard is consistent with orgasming.

When you’re with a partner, are the sensations amplified? If they’re not, I can’t imagine why anyone, man or woman, chases after the feeling so much. I know a lot of women here are trying to learn how to orgasm at all, so I understand that maybe I’m asking in the wrong place, and I apologize in advance if that is the case.

I'm a 26 yo female who's had trouble orgasming during sex, and as of recently through masturbation as well. I've never orgasmed during penetrative sex, and I'm actually feeling a bit less now down there now. Even with a clitoral toy I've noticed that I feel stifled when I'm about to come (it's like it almost rolls back in once I notice it's happening) and I'm not experiencing orgasms the way I used to. Any ideas of what's causing it? How i can get passed this? I'll admit that I have trouble really getting into the sexy mindset so anything you share would help. Also for reference ive been using a clitotal suction toy recently. I spent a while before that using this horrible, desensitized clitoral vibrator. Stopped using it maybe 6 months ago. Hopefully this is the right forum!

I'm 21 F, libido extremely low and vaginismus. Never had an orgasm. My bf (21M) was my first time too, everytime we're on it I barely feel anything. Though I do fall in love and have all my life. I'm starting to see how differently from other people I feel things, I feel like I experience the world and adulthood as a complete alien. It's like I'm incapable of something beautiful and human and I feel empty. The way I'd explain this to him is "Imagine if you were incapable of laughter. You just have to watch it on everybody else". He's extremely beautiful, it was all meant to go really well if it wasn't for my sexual issues. His libido is high, I always do it and I feel its flattering but I also feel like I'll never be able to share these moments with him and never really be in sync with him. Its been desolating :( just want to vent here

I have vaginismus. I don’t think I’ve ever orgasmed. I barely touch down there anymore because my entire body feels like a lost cause and I feel so turned off most of the time anyway. I cry about my body almost everyday. My body (specifically my vagina) is the main reason I’ve had suicidal thoughts so much in the past six months.

In terms of not orgasming, I don’t think I’m even getting close. Everyone talks about orgasm as a “build up” of pleasure, and I think I’m not even feeling the pleasure.

How do you cope with having a broken body like this? Having vaginismus and never being able to orgasm has ruined my body image and made my mental health so much worse. I know people should “accept” their bodies but I can’t accept the disappointing, worthless, awful woman’s body I have. I don’t think any woman would want to have the body I have, and I know that a man wouldn’t be able to love my body. It hurts. I’m missing something that all other women naturally have.

I have this very upsetting, intense feeling of lacking something; like I’m supposed to be feeling something I shouldn’t and like I’m missing something. Am I missing sexual pleasure and orgasm, or something else? I feel like I’m lacking something that all other women seem to automatically have; it’s like I’m defective and missing things that everyone else has.

I want to know if any other women feel as devastated and let down by their bodies as I do. I really think I have to give up on my body having any capacity for sexual pleasure, mine or a partner’s. I think I’ve been giving the most worthless, defective woman’s body ever. I have the urge to cry due to this everyday. It has destroyed my mental health, body image, and any hope of happiness. My vagina being as awful as it is is one of the reasons I’ve considered suicide.

I’ve been awake for less than 1 hour and 30 minutes and I already have tears streaming down my face due to my own body. I don’t know how other women survive having bodies like mine. I can’t accept my body or tolerate it. It’s so painful.

The only thing that makes me wet lately is fantasizing about a man finding my horrible, worthless, disappointing body attractive. It’s simultaneously comforting to me but also heartbreaking because my own body will prevent a man from loving and caring about me, and that’s so painful. It’s all my body’s fault. I also have a hideous body for a woman, a body type a man could never be attracted to.

I can’t relate to or understand other women. When I think about the fact that all other women have so much to offer a man (because they have a vagina that lets penetration happen), I feel so hurt and saddened. It’s like a knife in my heart. I’m not good enough.

How do you cope when you have a body you can’t accept or stand being in, and a body no man will ever love?

All my body can do is get wet. After I got wet last time, I felt discomfort internally even though I didn’t put anything in. I don’t know what is wrong with this part of myself.

I don’t know why my body can’t just be like another woman’s. I would do anything to be good enough as a woman.

I need help! I can’t orgasm without tensing up my lower body. I also can’t orgasm with just penetration so i usually depend on outer stimulation. When I was younger I used to be able to orgasm with just rubbing against something but now I think I have trained myself to tense up my body (tensing legs and butt, legs straight laid flat against bed) to only get an orgasm that way. I used to be able to orgasm through head but now i can’t and I think it has to do with my tensing problem. Please help I really want to get back to normal. I’ve tried but don’t think they work: -breathing -not masturbating for a while -tensing at verge of orgasm but untensing after to try to orgasm

I’ve never had an orgasm. I’ve tried with my hands, toys, and I’ve had sex with men who have gone down on me. I enjoy sex, it’s pleasurable, but I’ve never had an orgasm. I think the closest I’ve gotten was when I would hump pillows, but I get too overstimulated. I love cervical stimulation and it feels amazing but I’ve never had a moment where I just know I had an orgasm. I don’t know what to do, I’ve tried so many different methods and I’m starting to think something is wrong with me. I do know it’s hard for me to stay focused on pleasure when it’s just myself, or when men go down on me or are fingering me. My mind starts wandering. Help?

I don’t feel good about my own decision to fake orgasms with my partners, but the ladies on this sub would probably understand: I don’t want to disappoint my partner, I don’t want them to think I’m not enjoying myself, I get overstimulated, or I just can’t get there and I don’t always want to spend the time working toward it! People who easily orgasm just Do Not Understand

I’m always looking for ways to improve my orgasm ability (medications, vaginal pump, switched BC, omg cream, smoking weed, and many more things I have tried) but this is basically a solo project because none of my partners knew I had an issue because I faked my orgasms with them. I don’t want to lie anymore because I want my current partner to be involved in my goal of becoming more orgasmic but first I have to confess that I lied to him many times. How do I even have this conversation?

When people give orgasm advice they always say you should "be in the right mood" and aroused beforehand, so how the hell are most people able to masturbate and orgasm out of boredom, when they're tired and want to have an easy time going to sleep, and to relieve period cramps??

I want to learn whatever secret they know where they can just start masturbating whenever and immediately start feeling good. Whenever I touch myself out of boredom I literally don't feel anything