It's such a cruel cycle, I'll start having sex with someone new (I (20F) have a very high sex drive) and it's all fun and games until I need to have the Talk about how whatever they're doing feels good but that we should try to shift the focus away from orgasm since that's very rarely been part of the picture for me in my 5 years of being sexually active) I feel so vulnerable every time talking about it, and it's so often entangled with partners' easily bruised sexual egos. Just makes me feel like a burden.

So right now, I'm really falling for this guy, he's very understanding and sweet and we're doing all kinds of fun experiments, I'm having a great time but I just wish I could share that moment of letting go like he does with me. I'm always frustrated and I'm afraid it's only a matter of time before he will give up on trying to get me there.

I've had so many partners (good, sweet and queer guys - it's not even misogynistic douchebags I'm seeing) give up on me and stop giving me attention at all because it isn't going to happen anyway so what's the point. And it's honestly impacted my self esteem so much already that sometimes I steer sexual encounters towards their pleasure, or penetration just so I don't have to feel the pressure of having to receive pleasure. Or the disappointed looks that my ex used to give me.

I've read every book under the sun, right now getting ADHD treatment and trying out medication but holy fuck do I feel broken. Orgasm isn't the goal but I can't live like this, always riled up but never any release.

I’m a 21F who can’t orgasm with a partner. I hate feeling so defective all the time. It’s so mentally taxing and I get so insanely frustrated. Sometimes I just cry all day and hope next time there will be a breakthrough, but there never is. I wish I could flip a switch and be able to finally orgasm!! I want to feel sexy, for both myself and my partner :(

Hi! Im a little new to this group! 30 female and recently got out of a long-term relationship (about two months ago). I have always struggled with orgasming. And it’s a little embarrassing that I’m just now getting into masturbation and figuring this out at 30 😅

My ex was the only person who has ever been able to orgasm with, and he wasn’t really into me using toys by myself—just together—so I never got much experience with solo play after figuring out that I COULD orgasm. Also the only way he got me to orgasm was using a toy. I think I have “mini” orgasms, but I feel like I could experience something much bigger. I did subscribe to omgyes but I’m getting frustrated and was hoping to find some help here’s. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), which makes it hard to fully relax and get out of my own head sometimes but actually it’s a little easier alone because I don’t feel as much pressure.

TLDR; any tips or advice for a woman new to masturbation! I want to learn to do all this alone so that when I find the right person I know how to tell them what to do!

I was researching solutions for my buddy, he’s struggling with delayed ejaculation after starting an antidepressant. At this point it’s not so severe that he’s too bothered by it, but I really want him to be able to stay on this medication since it’s helped his mental health so much (shocked that he was willing to try it at all).

And that made me wonder if cyproheptadine can also help women achieve orgasm. It’s an antihistamine, allergy medication. It blocks the effects of serotonergic drugs. So stuff like SSRIs. It has a short half life but runs the risk of experiencing withdrawal symptoms like low mood, anxiety, etc if you take it while depending on these kinds of meds to manage your mental health. So if you can tolerate it, have to be careful not to take it too often.

Any AFABs on here have experience with cyproheptadine for this use?

Please tell me I’m not crazy! I have been dating my partner for a year and have NEVER finished during sex; it’s like my clit goes numb during it. I have an extremely easy time getting myself off with no toys/videos, but during sex I feel essentially nothing in my clitoris and don’t get anywhere near orgasm.

This has obviously caused problems in our relationship and we have integrated many options (toys, partners, role-play, etc) with nothing solving the issue. Anyone else experience something similar?

Just putting this out hear to share some experiences.

I (22F, autistic, never had sex, bisexual) have been masturbating as long as I could remember, but I harldy ever orgasmed, even after I learned about the clitoris and that I'm supposed to touch it when I was 14. Recently I accepeted that 1) touching myself with my hand is actually more pleasurable than the vibrator, and the vibrator bring me more stimulation but not pleasure (I didn't realize this difference before), I do like the "more stimulation" part but it's proven unrelated to pleasure for me. 2) When I lay down to masturbate my pelvic muscles involuntarily tense up, they don't when I'm sitting, but it's uncomfortable to hold that pose for too long.

Usually when I masturbate I would read or watch stuff, which includes porn, erotica, and also news articles and cooking channels. It's more of a "my brain is too blank when I masturbate, I need to process some words" thing than an arousal thing.
Also, I experimented with edibles yesterday to see whether it helps with orgasms for me. Turns out, 5mg just made me thirsty, I wasn't even high.

OMG Yes is having a Black Friday sale. Have anyone found them worth it. It’s currently half off. From what I gather it’s just a site full of tips and trick of techniques to try or experiment with.

I can’t ever get aroused physically despite trying. So I’m not so sure this would help me cause what good is a technique of arousal never comes. It’s as if I have lifelong erectile dysfunction… so imagine a man trying to orgasm using any technique you can imagine but his penis is soft and won’t responds to any of the techniques to become erect/aroused/engorged with blood. So the entire sensation is muted due to lack of sensitivity from unaroused tissue so the pleasure is blunted! This is the best way I can attempt to explain my perceived circumstance. - except mine is lifelong and I don’t have any mental health abuse or physical reasons for it as I’ve been worked up for all of that. I just seem to lack erotic triggers I suppose and stimulation doesn’t being about arousal either.

But I wonder if the OMG yes site content is worth buying while on sale. I’m 42 and still hoping someday I’ll figure out how to become aroused and experience the kinds of pleasures I’ve only read about.

I started masturbating a few years ago, but it never leads to anything because I get to a point where I'm bored/oversensitive and then I just stop.

I tried not stopping even when that happened, but then everytjing just became painful, literally.

I tried porn, I tried erotica, I tried nothing at all. I tried finding erogenous zones but nada.

I thought about investing in a toy, but odds are it won't change much, so I don't have one.

What I do is I usually circle my clit with my finger. Sometimes i try to do vaginal stimulation with my other hand but coordonation is ridiculously hard.

So I'm just asking what helped you ladies do it, and if there's any hope for me yet :)

I have ADHD. I have a high sex drive and am easily aroused. I've had many sexual partners and have experimented sexually. I've always masturbated and I have every toy imaginable but I was in my early 30's and had never orgasmed.

I went on Bupropion for Major Depressive Disorder and very surprisingly had my first orgasm - a multiple orgasm, with a partner using a wand on me. I think my anorgasmia is/was caused by my neurodivergence. Having ADHD means having lower levels of dopamine in your brain and an orgasm is a release of dopamine. There are some studies supporting this- that autistic and ADHD women are more likely to struggle with orgasm and/or arousal but basically there's not enough evidence because fuck all studies have been done.

I'd always masturbated but would get to a point where I could get no further. It felt like I was trying to screw something very tightly and it just wouldn't burst open (best description I can give). I've squirted without orgasm and had leg spasms/full body spasms during sex but never gotten a release or a wave of pleasure or even relief. It was like my brain was disconnected from my body.

This drug allowed physical changes that I'd never been able to experience before. Blood rushed to my face, my ears were hot, I had tingling/pins and needles in my hands and feet/across my top lip and then I came. I was attempting to tell my boyfriend to stop with the wand because I'd finished and my clit was becoming sensitive but I couldn't get the words out and within 10 seconds I came again. For me the precursor for orgasm is this flush feeling in the face, if this happens then an orgasm is possible/imminent.

This is incredibly personal but I'm sharing it because I think it's important we have a community that encourages women to talk about their experiences and not be ashamed of their pleasure or their difficulties. I thought I was just broken and would never experience this.

This drug has changed my life. My depression is gone, my ADHD is manageable and I can now experience the full joy and pleasure of being a sexual being. It is absolute bullshit that "some women just can't cum". You matter, your pleasure matters and there is help available, it's just bloody hard to get because of sexism.

Solidarity and love

• Veggienugnugs ❤️

This is a just a motivational post to tell you, reader, struggling to orgasm, that better days lie ahead.

I (F39) am, sexually active since I am 18. It took me a few years to orgasm but it has always been only one orgasm at a time (which I was already very satisfied with), mostly with vaginal penetration in positions that also stimulate the clit, with a penis or a toy, and some rare times by just grinding over said penis without penetration.

Yesterday I had a date with my lovely lover - I'm in ethical non-monogamy with my husband. I'm married since 8 years and seeing this lover since a few months, he's my first additional partner, we see each other approximately once a month for a few hours (he's not single either). We've been very compatible sexually since our first encounter and I've had intense pleasure during sex and especially piv with him.

I also like him very much and I feel 100% safe with him. I was on top of him, in amazon position, orgasmed and, as it felt good, contrarily to most times where my clit becomes too sensitive and I have to switch to another position, I stayed there continuing my business. We were having (gentle) dirty talk too. After maybe two or three more minutes, WOW a second orgasm came. Again, as it still felt good, I keep on doing my thing there on top and telling him how good it felt AND I HAD A THIRD ORGASM. OMG I had given up on that since a few years and thought my body wasn't made for multiple orgasms. Boy I was wrong.

Not sure if or when this may happen again but just wanted to share here that there's hope ♡

Edit: replaced "AP" by "lover" as suggested in comments

I can't get over the grief of having an intimate surgery as a 15 year old. I used to know my body so well and orgasm easily from a young age. Orgasm was an important self sooth method and good for my self esteem. I had long labia which I was ashamed of as I never knew that vulvas were all so different. I thought masterbation had caused me to look different and unlovable. I thought my only option for a future sex life was to have a labiaplasty. This surgery is barbaric and should be illegal. I just needed to be taught I was normal but instead doctors completely amputated my labia and they stole my sensation from me and have replaced it with pain and discomfort. They cut my frenulum below my clit which is constantly sore and they have turned a pleasurable sensation into a burning pain. How do I carry on with my life I keep trying but it haunts me, the life I could have had without that procedure. 😭 I'm 31 now.

Hi, I’m 19F. During sex with my ex, I could orgasm just fine with only penetration, but whenever I tried to combine that with clitoral stimulation, it just made my body confused, and it harder for me to cum.

During masturbation, I can cum easily with just clitoral stimulation, and just penetration during that makes it harder for me to cum. I’ve never had an orgasm with oral either, but that could be because my ex was bad at it.

Is this normal or is there something wrong with me?

so I'm 20, Ive never had an orgasm or nothing close to finishing, not sure if there's even a difference between those two terms? I'm not a native English speaker.

I'm a Virgin too and I don't wish to have sex before I learn to please myself first, and get comfortable with my own body.

Anyway, I know what turns me on in terms of content so whenever I consume such stuff and get the courage to please myself, It feels good then I get desinterested, sometimes I get carried away until I start "shaking" and "tensing" but the desinterest hits back and I stop before pushing myself to keep going.

Anyway, I think it's from disappointmentttt :( I just don't know how it's supposed to feel and how to make myself get there... I'm even scared to finger myself too 🥲

I hope someone could help or at least relate.

So I am attracted to women, but I am married to a man, that’s just what I decided I wanted, and I was okay mostly, but for many years now my sex drive has just depleted entirely, until I was honest with my husband about my attraction issues. But before I was honest with him he had me go to the doctors and I was prescribed Addyi. Now he is concerned that since I can, indeed get very very turned on by women (we tested it out because we’ve been married so long I almost believed I couldn’t get turned on no matter what) but anyways he is concerned that if I take Addyi it will mess my body up. Will it? Or will it raise my libido so I feel attracted to anything that breathes? That’s just an extreme metaphor by the way. I love him, I want him to be happy, but I’m so struggling with the physical attraction side of things. I could easily watch lesbian porn before we have sex and be horny enough to get through it, but I don’t want to rely on porn.

Throwaway. I’ve thought I’ve had orgasms, but now I’m starting to question if I’ve only had the start. It gets to a point where it’s so intense that I have to take the gas off the pedal. Like pressure building up so much, but instead of letting any air release, I gotta twist it shut. I hope that makes sense, it’s really hard to explain.

If these aren’t actually orgasms, what should/can I do to actually feel one all the way through? Or is it the real deal to just reach the peak and there isn’t any other “finishing” sensation?

I started masturbating at a young age, and was easily able to make myself finish. I then got my first vibrator and have been using one for about five years since that point. Since then, I’ve never finished without a vibrator. I find it difficult to get turned on, so when I touch myself it feels like nothing. It’s affecting my relationship a little - it makes me feel really bad that I can’t cum without a vibrator. When my boyfriend goes down on me, it feels nice but not orgasmic, same with being fingered. Can I improve this?

Mostly asking out of curiosity, plus might not hurt to try some of yalls methods for myself...

I'm a one-and-done, vibrator using girly, I get there and not only am I too sensitive afterwards for continued stimulus, but any stimulus I CAN handle (like using my vibrator off to the side rather than full on the clitoris) doesn't bring me enough pleasure to get there again. So I ask, how does it work for those of who who can have multiple?
Is it:
One really long orgasm that lasts as long as you are applying stimuli,
One orgasm after another; once the last dies off another begins?

Also; for people who are only one-and-done with clitoral orgasms, can penetration based stimuli assist in becoming multi-orgasmic? As far as I've felt there aren't any sensitive, pleasurable spots in there. Or at least I haven't tried the right toy? Its a little disappointing because I looooove sex but wish I could feel it internally more than just the suggestion of movement...thank you!
(to clear things up I have attempted to hit where many a diagram have show where the different "spots" are. Nothing. Not even a suggestion of extra sensitivity...I havent tried using a toy internally while also doing external stimulation)

Hi guys! I've had this vibrator from Walmart that's been my go-to for about 3 or 4 years. Everything about it is just perfect for me and the colour makes me love it even more. I have 2 other ones, and although I don't use them as often, they're still pretty so I love them.

However, after 3 years, I have worn down the battery a bit, it's grown weaker over time. Since moving to a bigger area for school, it's been on my bucket list to get a new one soon, especially because there are various shops within walking distance, whereas back home I'd have to find someone to drive me 30 minutes to a drug store. I lost the charger the other day, so I took it as a sign to get a new one.

I browsed a bit at lunch today, and all of the pink ones were way out of my price range, but the one I decided on works great! The problem is, it just doesn't suit my personality. It's this dark shade of teal, and the buttons are rose gold. It just looks so modern and professional, whilst my hot pink ones reflect my personality. They have sentimental value to me. I'm struggling to enjoy it because it looks so boring, despite how great it is. I can't connect with it at all.

Do I just need time to adjust? I guess it's colourful, at least. It feels great too, it's very high quality. The buttons glow, which is fun. It's not girly enough though. I don't know what to do. I never thought I'd have to consider the visual appeal when purchasing a toy. I thought I'd love it regardless, but I'm much slower to warm up to this one than the others. I feel bad for having such superficial standards in order to enjoy it, and it felt like a big purchase for me. Should I settle or use my birthday money to buy a pink one in February?

My husband and I [F24,M24] have been exploring different positions as of late and we recently discovered a new spot that he was hitting while in doggy. His cock is straight when looking down at it but has a slight upward curve so I think he was hitting my a-spot. The first time we found it the feelings were really intense and shocking, it had me howling. Not painful but also not a sensation bringing me closer to orgasm.

Then we had sex in pronebone for the first time and I felt him in the same spot. It was not as overwhelming this time. I had already cum from clitoral stimulus with him thrusting. I asked him what it felt like inside of me and he described that toward my opening it’s tighter and then the middle is more spacious and the bottom of my gets thinner again in this position. I think when he is at the bottom he is at my anterior fornix.

Here is my question, what is the proper motion of the ocean to transform this intense sensation into an orgasm? It’s very different from clitoral orgasm. Can someone describe how the different orgasms feel so I know what to look for? All info is helpful!

Honestly, I feel embarrassed to admit that I’ve never orgasmed before. I’ve used my hands, bought toys, had sex, tried to become aroused, and I’m still struggling to cross the finish line. I’m on antidepressants, but even before I was medicated I had trouble finishing, so I don’t think that is the full issue (although it might be a portion). I have heard several people discuss a mental block being a reason for being unable to cum, and I think that might be my issue. I have become so frustrated that I’m not able to orgasm, that when I get close, I psyche myself out. I’ve tried many times in the past and I have no idea where to go from here:( If anyone has any suggestions, I’d be really appreciative.

Hello I'm new to the subreddit and so happy I discovered it. A little bit of context before I get to the real question, I've been masturbating for around 6 years and can make myself orgasm pretty easily, but I just got into my first sexually active relationship and I'm struggling. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex yet and probably won't for the foreseeable future because I'm a virgin and I still want to wait longer. However we do pleasure eachother and talk really openly about sex and masturbating. I've been successful at making him cum but when we try on me I can never quite get there. My boyfriend is more experienced than me and has made other girls cum from head before but I always get too sensitive to the point that it almost hurts when he goes down on me. It feels amazing when he fingers me but we do it for over an hour and I still don't cum. I've been working on making it easier to cum by myself to try to help this issue like I cut out porn months ago and was able to cum without porn for the first time in my life. In fact today I made myself cum with no porn or penetration which is a first! Both of these things are really big milestones for me but is there anything else I can do to make it easier while I'm with my boyfriend? I want to finish for him because I want to show him how good he makes me feel but I'm a little stumped at this point.

Most of the posts on this sub are from women who are struggling, deeply frustrated, and looking for advice. That's exactly what we're here for, but it can create an impression of hopelessness. We'd like to provide a way for our members to post updates about what they're doing and how it's going. Even little successes can provide an example and some encouragement, and make a big difference to others.

So this post is your weekly opportunity to share what you've tried and how it's working. Have you found anything that is giving you greater sexual pleasure? Have you gotten closer to orgasm? Found new ways to orgasm?

Everything is welcome, including what you tried that didn't work, but in particular please share your successes!

I've called in a Tantra coach to help facilitate deep soul realignment and healing.

However, she is online only.

Can I get advice on whether I should go with someone local or if online is better?

Has anyone else had a Tantra intimacy/soul coach online only? I fear in person sessions might be more impactful, is this true or is online just as good?

I deeply appreciate any feedback.

I’m so frustrated. I only started masturbating at 19 but ever since then, every time i try to pleasure myself it feels good, but maybe like a 3/10 intensity max. at first i thought maybe i’m just cursed to have shitty orgasms, but a friend said that doesn’t sound like i’m actually orgasming. it’s weird, but the way i get off (i’m a germaphobe and don’t like putting my hand down there) is by rubbing my thighs together or squeezing them and touching my breasts. it builds up until it eventually gets too sensitive and it kind of fizzles out. it’s really not enjoyable especially as someone who gets off to vids of women being tied down and orgasming a ton or smth.

my mindset is also an issue. i watch and read stuff, but as soon as the feeling starts to fizzle out after getting too sensitive, i get so disinterested that i have to go shower and watch tv, like completely distance myself from the stuff i was reading or watching. and it sucks cause i wanna be in the mood longer!!!

recently i got sex toys to see if that would help. i splurged for black friday, but i got a rabbit, a wand, a pinpoint vibe, and a suction one. while they were nice i guess, it didn’t really do much at all. i either got too sensitive that my hands like instinctually moved away or what was the case today was that i tried to get in the mood by doing the thigh thing THEN using a mix of the toys. and i thought that would work but i actually just got numb/desensitized down there and just got bored.

my clit is bigger than average i believe so i never thought it would have a sensitivity issue, but the clit either gets too sensitive and my body forces me to stop OR what’s more common is the numb feeling to it. i tried looking for the gspot but no luck.

i don’t know what to do. i think maybe i’m just asexual or something because i genuinely just felt like i wasted an hour sitting there hoping to feel ANYTHING remotely good. but nope. it sucks. AND to make it worse i make no noise. zero. like i literally just sit there with a poker face trying to get myself to have that amazing orgasm so many talk about and… nope.

Hi, I am 19F and never had orgasm. I bought my first vibrator, the wand maybe 2 months ago and still didn’t achieve orgasm. Before I bought it I tried every masturbation technique and nothing. After short time I begin to feel warmth and throbing sensation and get kinda squinty but it stops.I think I am getting close to orgasm but it stops by itself for no reason.How do I do it?

Also if it’s important I am a virgin and don’t have partner

I just found this sub by chance and I’ve always felt so alone and I’m so glad to see there’s other people like me. I think… I never had an orgasm until I was like 23 maybe and I had been sexually active since I was 15. I am now 33 and I still have never had an orgasm from another human or even using a vibrator with a human. A strong vibrator by myself is the only way I’ve ever orgasmed. Has anyone else gone through this And been able to orgasm with their partner even if it took using a vibrator? I’m wondering if I am doomed. My husband and I started trying and we have also tried him leaving the room and then me using the vibrator but it just doesn’t work for a full on orgasm. I’ve tried it twice, one time I couldn’t get anything and the other time it was a mini orgasm, not full-blown what I feel when I do it totally alone. Also, as part of introducing myself here I used to fake it when I was younger and then at sometime I think my first real adult boyfriend, and after that I started telling boyfriends honestly and that it’s not them it’s just that sex can not do it for me. And I have worked in all kinds of sex work and adult work so obviously I have faked it in those situations. I know that being in and out of all kinds of sex work may have affected my mind in this way, but I couldn’t orgasm before I got into any kind of sex work either. I retired three years ago and I feel like I might be getting a little closer to it being possible , if it’s for mental reasons since I can obviously do it on my own. I only discovered orgasm through using a hitachi , and it takes a hitachi for me everytime. I just wish I could make it work with a partner . I know there’s no hope for me for an orgasm with sex without a hitchachi. I wish.

For a while I was able to increase the rate of orgasm with partners because I had so many routines built in to help with it and I had the DRIVE to work on this: Smoking weed before sex OMG cream for stimulation Being super comfortable and relaxed with my partners Ideal sex toys for my body

With these routines I could orgasm with partners. Still not ideal that I needed sex toys no matter what but at least I had something and yet recently, nothing. Now, for some reason I cannot identify, my ability to orgasm has gotten even worse and now I never ever orgasm with partners. I don’t even make the effort to lie anymore so at least I’m being honest with them but god it makes me feel disappointed when I think about it. My female friends were talking about orgasms the other day and I just had to sit out on the entire conversation and seethe with envy that it was so easy for them…

It has gotten to the point where I dislike my partner spending any time exclusively on my pleasure (like with oral or fingering), because now it just feels like a waste of time and it fills me with negative feelings because it weighs on my self esteem that I cannot orgasm despite everything that I try. Sex is better (as in, less mentally taxing) when we ignore my pleasure entirely. I just hate this. I hate how my body is incompatible with my sex positive lifestyle

I had my first orgasm where my boyfriend did everything he could at the time to help me get off. It worked, but I don’t know how to get myself off. I also don’t even know if it works consistently because even though we have had sex since I haven’t really had the same sensation. My guess is I just had a really big one at first. Like recently my clit definitely pulsed after sex and overall everything was good, but it wasn’t near the same levels at the first. Like I still don’t really know if it was an orgasm. I would like to make them better, but I can not get myself in the mood. I want to masturbate so I can learn about what I like and what helps get the giant orgasms but I can’t get over the edge to be able to really enjoy it and not be distracted by other things. I am demisexual, and porn, erotica, and all of that does literally nothing for me. The only thing that does anything is being with my partner but that’s not entirely feasible especially with college break coming up soon. I guess I could get a vibrator to help me do it at home, but I just don’t want to become reliant on it. Overall that doesn’t solve the problem of trying to do it manually in sex, the only time I be down to use a vibe in sex is piv due to it probably just being easier for me and him. So I want to learn it manually, but I cannot get in the mood or focus on anything that will make me aroused.

I am in my late 30s and I have never orgasmed. Nothing feels good - it just feels like nothing. It doesn’t even feel pleasurable to stimulate my clit. It all feels so pointless.

Of note, I have been on a low dose of Zoloft from a young age which I believe can affect your sex drive and ability to orgasm. So maybe I never had a shot?

Having never felt anything, is there any hope?

Basic info - Eighteen years old, virgin, never used toys. Only really worried about reaching an orgasm while masturbating rn.

Kinda sick of being unsure and insecure about this, so I thought I’d finally make a post about it.

I’ve seen a lot of other girls on here talk about a similar situation to mine - but I haven’t really seen conclusive answers yet. Usually in the replies people will disagree if the person is even having an orgasm or not.

I’m going to try and be as detailed as possible so it’ll be easier to figure out what I’m doing wrong.

I don’t know if I’m orgasming or not. I just don’t. Been masturbating for years and years and I get hit with a ‘stopping point’.

Maybe the ‘stopping point’ is an orgasm. It’s entirely possible, I certainly wouldn’t know.

It’ll get good and then… there’s like a ten second wave of something on my brain but I’m not sure if I like it or not. I lose all motivation to keep touching myself, rock into my hand (this doesn’t end up making me feel good), my legs snap shut (always), and then it all stops.

It didn’t even occur to me that this could have been an orgasm before I started seeing posts on here. The ten second wave didn’t really feel like the peak of pleasure or anything. Just like something attacking my brain.

I’m not really sure if I can push myself through it. It stops feeling good entirely, so I really don’t want to if that’s the problem.

It’s very possible that this is just a really weak orgasm or something, so I looked up women describing orgasming and that just ended up making me more confused.

I don’t really relate to any of the symptoms of the “orgasm”. I don’t feel intensely happy, I don’t feel any contractions down there (unless I’m not paying attention?), no heat through my body, no waves through the body, no tingling. I’m never even vocal at all during masturbating.

So I feel really confused. I enjoy masturbating! I think I have a high sex drive for a girl so I do end up masturbating a lot. But I’m just not sure what I’m doing wrong.

I’ve probably masturbating frequently since I was like thirteen, so if these are just really small orgasms, I’m not entirely sure how I’m supposed to reach a proper one.

Here’s some information on my “method” if that helps.

I only ever use clitoral stimulation with my fingers, nothing else. Basically just circling my clit until I’m done…

Never used toys. No fingering, grinding, shower stimulation at all. Grinding on objects (pillows etc.) doesn’t seem to work for me at all. Don’t know if I have the wrong anatomy for it or I’m doing it wrong. No lube, I usually just wait for myself to get wet.

Masturbating with any type of porngraphy (never videos usually just erotica) actually ends up sucking for me. I can usually get to the ‘stopping point’ in like ten minutes if I do - but it just feels.. Bad. I get wetter quicker and everything, but I don’t really feel much pleasure and then it’s over. I feel pretty gross afterwards. I usually get a lot of happy chemicals after I masturbate (whether I reach the stopping point or not), but not really when I use pornography.

If I don’t use any pornography, just my own head, it actually ends up feeling way better. My body feels more into it and reach a lot higher places of pleasure… But it takes a WHILE. God it takes ages. Even worse, a lot of the time I feel like I’m getting close to something and then I just lose it. Then I have to start all over again. Usually I just give up at that point. I feel like I just need to get better at sexually fantasising and keeping myself horny..

I’d like to do this without a vibrator, if possible. To be fair, I might have to.

I’ve seen some people saying weed can help? I’ve never done that before, but I have the resources to try that if necessary.

I'll probably keep masturbating whether I'm orgasming or not bc I do enjoy it, but I don't really like the uncertainty.

So.

Not sure if I’m reaching an orgasm or not, regardless I’m looking for ways to reach a proper one. Any resources on how to masturbate better would be better, I would really appreciate any advice at all. Open to answering questions. Thanks for helping!