We haven’t had sex since last November. For the last 3 weeks I’ve started flirting, sending sexy and complimentary texts through the day, then I tried initiating last week. We had a few glasses of wine, and I (late 20s F) told him (low 30s M) that I wanted to have sex. He said no. When we got our little one to sleep, I tried again by touching and kissing him, and whispering that I wanted to sneak into a different room and have some fun. Again, the answer was no because “he needed to clean up down there, but tomorrow yes” So, I tried the following evening. The answer was no. Then I tried again the night after that, three nights in a row - the answer was no.

Fast forward a week and we get to last night - I had a total meltdown. I told him I wanted to have sex and he said no again. And I started bawling. And I got every excuse in the book, and a total run around conversation. I was so freaking pathetic, y’all. I was ugly crying with makeup running down my face. Begging for an answer of why I’m so unfuckable. ITS BEEN A YEAR. And I said the breakdown over the last year has completely deteriorated my self esteem and desire to even be here postpartum, it’s just too much. So he yelled at me to get out. And that he wants me to move out and he’d rather pay child support and see our kid less than have to keep dealing with me. I’m honestly excited to go and finally get laid once I move out… but I really wanted it to be with him. He crushed my soul but he didn’t break my heart if that makes sense?

Legjt question.

I know everyone says don’t marry into a dead bedroom but how do you know what is going to happen? Are there any indicators?

How long is the honeymoon period - months? Years? Decades? And do you think people can actually hide it for that long??

https://www.reddit.com/r/Testosterone/s/YLoxdTm9OW

I can’t cross post into this subreddit so I posted the link to the previous post. I really need some insight into my issues. Thank you for the support

so i honestly need help with a few things, how can i stop crying over the fact? or how long will it take to where i can just roll with it? and i posted a few days ago and some people suggested me-time, but honestly porn worked the first maybe two days, now i’m starting to feel worthless and i cry when the actual sex part comes. i just want that to be me and i miss him. so how can i watch porn and not reminisce or miss him during? i’m just super depressed and idk what to do anymore

edit: i guess a better question to ask is how to stop wanting it. i dont want to want it anymore

I was out grocery shopping today and one of the staff was approaching going the other way down the aisle. She made eye contact with me and I held it and . It was intense in a strange, erotic way. I instantly wanted to turn around, pull her to me and kiss her. It's hard to explain, but it felt magnetic almost.

Its been the most action I've had in quite some time.

Hi all, I'll keep it short and simple. I love my bf. I'm 25 and he's 34. At the beginning of us dating I feel like he would sext me and try his shot with me often as possible given us living far away with him working 40 hours a week. But now he lives close to me but with a roommate and has been working 60 hours a week and it's like his libido is just gone. I asked him today if he knew how long it had been since we last had sex and he said no so I told him 2 weeks and he was all like "no way" but then realized I was right. I told him his lack of sexual desire makes me feel like he's not attracted to me anymore and he said he is and that's not it. So I asked what "it" is then. He said "I just don't really think about sex much."

So here's the question: Did his libido lower because he was having to work 60 hours a week, considering when he was working 40 he seemed to sexually want me more? November is also a hard month on him because of two family members anniversaries of death. Or is that all unrelated and he should get his T levels checked? I can hear how selfish I sound, complaining about lack of sex when November is a grieving month for him, but I'm very sexually frustrated and I'm worried it'll always be something. The 60 hours a week just ended one week ago... but at the start of this grieving month.

Should I be hopeful for December?

I've been dating him for 7 months but have known him 2 years. Thanks all.

I shouldn't look at his search history and it's super rare I get the chance, but I was curious. It has been two months since he has touched me. I'm 40 and had a baby 6 months ago. I've been ready for sex since my 6 week checkup...

My husband just isn't interested in me. He's watching (legal) teen porn. Like rough anal stuff. I know it's a fantasy, but I can't compete with that. And I'm not into super rough anal. Like, he enjoys watching very hardcore stuff. And the age bothers me too. I get it. Younger women are more sexy. I am not getting any younger.

When we do have sex, which is super rare, all I do is think about how unsexy I am to him. He has to in his head pretend I'm someone else, I'm sure. I'm leaning on giving up at this point.

I've asked him to not watch porn and he agreed but I guess he thinks that agreement is over? I don't want to ask him again. He will know I looked if I do.

He’s just said how gorgeous I am,felt me up which then turns me on and then says he doesn’t want sex like wtf why doesn’t this turn him on? Wouldn’t that do it for you if you were attracted or am I overthinking it? I think a dead bedroom situation makes me overthinking everything even when we do have sex I analyse everything for the reason he was in the mood 🤦🏻‍♀️

I’m new here and I just want to say, I definitely know I’m the problem in my marriage. But I really want to get better. I’m a 35 LLF married to HL 36M. With his sex drive, he’d love to have sex 2x a day every day. I would prefer once a week. Or just no expectations at all on the frequency. There are a lot of problems, but one is that I continue to perform duty sex multiple times a week and I lack enthusiasm. Sometimes we talk about how it would be better to just have great sex once a week, instead of bad sex more often. However, 4 days go by without having sex and my husband is obviously hinting that it’s been too long. So that never works out well and results in more duty sex. Basically, he doesn’t want duty sex, and doesn’t want to stop having sex either. He wants passionate sex.

I used to have a sex drive and we had great sex. This problem started when I became a mom and then left a job I loved to be a stay at home mom. I spend all day singing kids songs and playing kids games. So it’s hard to just turn that off and switch to having sex after my child goes to bed. By then I’m exhausted. And I don’t even feel like an adult anymore. There’s no way I feel sexy ever. I don’t know how other moms out there do this. Plus, my body went through some serious trauma with childbirth and it feels like it hasn’t been the same.

For you guys with partners who lack enthusiasm and things have gotten really boring—what could they do to make you feel better about your bedroom situation? Honestly, what am I supposed to do for any of this ? I feel like chemically or psychologically something is preventing me from desiring sex more often. But I know I have to change my behavior for the sake of my marriage. I really do love my husband. And I miss the feeling of having a sex drive.

Also, AMA if you have a partner that sounds like me. I don’t know if there’s a lot of LLF on here , so if you are looking for answers, ask away.

Hey All! I’ve posted here a couple of times in the past, but boy oh boy do I have a hell of a progress post for you guys.

Imma be honest, I’m too lazy to go back and find my prior posts, but they were similar to what most of us experience. Sex/intimacy is on the decline, we vent our frustration, things pick up for a week or two, and then surprise surprise, we’re back where we started. I was kind of starting to accept the fact that we would have sex on her schedule, and that I would have to live with that.

To my surprise, our sex life has actually been increasing a little bit over the last couple of months. We’re not hanging from the chandelier or anything crazy like that, but it’s but a noticeable uptick, and the effort on her part has definitely been noticed/appreciated, and I’ve told her as such. I didn’t harp on it much, but I let her know that I see she’s making an effort, and in all honesty, I think that’s truly what most of us here want. An honest to god genuine effort. Even if it’s not perfect, seeing them trying to choose you and your sex life in that moment really is comforting. But I digress.

We went on vacation recently and she had been talking it up like it was gonna be a crazy time between up. I was hesitant given the history of those moments, but with the increased frequency, it was hard to not put hope into what she was saying. And boy let me tell you, my wife went all out.

Aside from sex a few times, she then busts out that she wanted me to take pictures of her. Think boudoir setting. Now normally, my wife isn’t comfortable with being that open/vulnerable. She wanted me to steer it and basically just wanted to be my photographic canvas. And what made it even better is that she was SO into it, at least in the moment. It wasn’t an awkward “How do we do this?” situation. I was suggesting poses, she was throwing some in as well, and overall it felt like a true couple effort. She didn’t shy away from anything, and it honestly made my heart so happy to see her really go out of her comfort zone to do something that she knew I would have killed to do before in our relationship. Idk if she’ll ever want to do it again, but it seems like she’s slowly, but surely, getting to be more and more open with our sex life.

Did it take a while to get here? Yes. Do I feel like I had to sacrifice some of my happiness for a little while? Yes. Would I do it again. You bet your ass I would. All I’ve ever wanted was for my wife to want me as much as I want her.

I honestly don’t know how to end this. I know this group can be a bit gloomy, and rightfully so. But I know we all live, even if vicariously, for little gold nuggets such as this. I wish I had some advice that could help replicate these results for others, but we all know there isn’t a one size fits all solution. I just sincerely hope that if you continue to be there for your partner that they will eventually appreciate the effort and try to reciprocate.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

As title suggests, LLF, 40s, has told me, HLM, also 40s, that - in short - she is fine with a roommate-style arrangement and feels I’m being unfair to ask for more.

I’ve tried very hard to fulfill her needs: extra effort with the house and the kids, always listening, I buy gifts and flowers, I complement her, organize date nights, took her away for a weekend etc etc…

I don’t do all this to get sex, I do this because I love her and I want to be a good husband - but to be told that our marriage is now essentially just two co-workers looking after children, is heartbreaking.

Was also told: no more sexy comments or flirty texts; no commenting in her appearance, esp when naked; don’t expect anything on special occasions; absolutely no, for all time, on her performing oral.

I know the comments will be ‘leave’ but it’s not that simple. Just sad she doesn’t see how unloved and unwanted I feel.

It turns out men have feelings!

First time poster, long time lurker. Throwaway account because my wife knows my main username. Me (27HLM) and my wife (26LLM) have been together 8 years.

So I’m not sure if this necessarily counts as a DB but my wife only ever really wants sex around the time of her ovulation. So for like 4 days of a month, she will constantly be up for it and just say to my face she wants to have sex, she doesn’t physically initiate it with me (More on that later). We’re not trying for a baby, we already have a 3 year old and are both 100% set on not having any more kids.

This just makes me feel like a sex toy which might sounds great for some, but once those 3-4 days are over she can’t stand the sight of me. She looks at me with disgust if I try to get into anything with her, and then tells me I’m the one with a problem. She also tells me “I only do it when you ask just to stop you sulking”. Like great, thanks for making me feel guilty about us having sex!

Whenever she gives me duty sex, it’s usually her laying there like a plank of wood. I touch her and get her warmed up, she just lays there. I’ve gotten frustrated a few times and told her with a bit of attitude “can you touch my fucking cock please?!”. She will say something like “I was getting there” but I know she was never going to touch me. Then of course we go on to do a few positions that ensures she doesn’t have to get on top, followed by nearly no noise or emotion from her.

As for excuses, it’s usually her telling ME that I’m too tired, or I look too tired. Or that she shaved that day and it’s sore, even thought that hasn’t been a problem for the last 8 years. Or she’s not feeling well, or she’s tired herself, despite going on to sit on TikTok till gone midnight.

As I mentioned before about physically initiating with me. She hasn’t actually come on to me for probably about 6 years, she usually just come forward and asks to have sex. She HATES when I do just that, I used to physically initiate it, but I got fed up with the rejection plus the disgust and guilt she makes me feel. So it became easier and less disappointing to just ask outright if she’s up for it. Which in the end has lead me to the point of not even asking anymore.

Worth mentioning too that sometimes she skips wanting sex during her ‘time’, meaning we can go monthly without sex. Not really sure what I’m after by giving up, or even posting here in the first place. It just feels like a good place to vent, advice/support is welcome.

Edit: extra paragraph added in.

Good morning everyone, I have commented here a few times. I’m going to try to make this long story short. I 29 FHL, partner 39 MLL. We have been arguing for ages about our sex life and the lack of intimacy and he does pity sex whenever it gets bad but before we reached in agreement, we had only had sex 7 times. In one of the arguments he asked me do you want an open marriage, you get what you need out there. I Thought about it for a while. After a couple of weeks , I told him yes I want it. There is a cute young 23 yr old guy at work, we work in different departments. I approached him and he was an interested, no strings few rules and here and there. I forgot how fucking good it felt to be fucked properly. To be wanted, to be desired, to be fucking worshiped. Now my husband wants me too, so I get double the fun. I don’t care what anyone thinks at this point. I am probably a giant whore but god lord does it feel good to be wanted with love and connection and also with lust and wanting to possess someone’s soul.

Sorry if this doesn’t make sense, I had sex with my husband just now. I also have a date set up with the other guy. Yes my husband is very aware and I think he like that.

I thought my wife (35/ LLF) and I (35/HLM) had been making good progress in putting our dead bedroom behind us over the last few months. A combination of her changing her anti-depression meds, getting off the pill and us finding steamy shows to watch together had meant we were having sex about once a week, sometimes even more.

After assurances that I would enjoy it and didn’t expect oral in return, she also finally let me go down on her. I made her moan with an intensity that I had only dreamed about and it made me incredibly happy to give her that kind of pleasure. Still, she asked me to move to PIV after a few minutes, and complained of sensitivity down there after (this is a frequent challenge for her even outside of oral), so we only do that once every few sessions.

She also opened up about what gives her pleasure. In trying to figure out why she can’t orgasm (something she says she has never been able to do, even when she used to masturbate), I uncovered she doesn’t like or need external clitoral stimulation as much as internal stimulation. When masturbating, she would penetrate with fingers and never rub her clitoris. When we tried the magic wand I bought her during sex, she found it more ticklish than pleasurable. Different positions during PIV, which she became more open to try, were helping hitting her spots better, but still not getting her to climax.

Despite the progress, there was still a significant libido mismatch, so in couples therapy we were exploring ways to break down additional barriers, and she felt she would want sex more if it felt as amazing as it appears to for others. Now the piece I am hung up on: during the therapy session she said “we’ve never really focused on my pleasure before” and “I’ve never had good sex”. I found both of these deeply hurtful since I had been trying to focus on her pleasure but had been getting shut down for the last 8 years, and I honestly thought we were on a path to improving things. I shared how those comments were affecting me and suggested we see a sex therapist to help us figure out what more we could do. She quickly shut me down and brought up how that’s something I have to live with and not to try to change her when I have flaws of my own (something I have been working on, but never to her full satisfaction).

Since that interaction, I’ve been feeling pretty dejected and hopeless about our relationship, with a sense that all the progress we have made is going to get rapidly undone, and I will never truly get to experience what it’s like to have a passionate sexual partner again.

But there were affection, friendship, trust, honesty, fun, shared values, mutual support, etc?

And sporadic sex now and then? Assuming you are a ‘mature couple’ (between 45 - 55) and live separately?

(I hate creating titles, sry)

I recently found this sub. So me (38HLM) and my wife (35 now LLF) been together for 8+ years. At first we were fire, then our first was born (5years). Obviously her libido took the toll after birth. First it went bd for year (ok, I can live with it). Then two, three years. Then we started to try for second child. And behold, we are (were) quite fertile, just spanking with dirty underwear and she was pregnant (we had like three-four times sex). Now second kiddo is 10months, and no sex at all. Again, I get know that giving birth takes it toll, and I should be fine with it, since it was our decision.

After second kid was born, both agreed that I get vasectomy. And I took it, no more kids as we are happy with two.

But I feel used. We have talked, like a lot. She says that she is hurt that I feel used (sex only for having kids, no other than that), for her POV I kinda understand her feelings. It just feels stupid.

I work in high stress job (ER nurse at major city) and do like 33% of my work at nightshifts. I have put my specilization studies on hold, so she could be at home with kids, and my days off are schedulet so she is at her studies in uni/ or she is at her choir trainings (they do musicals, tours etc so it takes time). I support her in anything she needs.

For what comes to title, I do love her. From bottom of my heart. She suggested that we should open up our relationship, but then canceled the idea. Kinda get it, kinda. I have once cheated her in these 4+ years of db, and what is confusing, I don't feel any regret. Or joy. It was just sex. But that isn't healthy for our relationship in long term.

Sorry for grammar and incoherent rambling. E: no regrets for kids, they are my everything.

In one month, my girlfriend (27F, LL) and I (27M, HL) will celebrate our 7th anniversary. We’re still not married, and honestly, I don’t think I want to be if this DB situation doesn’t change.

I’m feeling scared and worried because I don’t want “duty” sex on that day. Of course, on one hand, I want to be intimate with her, but on the other:

• I don’t want “duty” sex just because it’s expected on a special day like this

• I don’t want to get my hopes up again

• I don’t want going to sleep with a voice in my mind thinking “when will it be the next time? ages?”

• I’m afraid of doing something wrong during sex that might make our DB situation worse

• Scared that I reject we will have a bad argument

It’s just super sad cause I should be the happiest man that day cause I love her so much and withouth this issue I’d marry her today..

This following text is mostly only for men who think it's okay to make private comments like "he is LL4u" without anyone asking.

First, thank you to all the men who told me, "he is LL4U" (me). This is totally helpful! And so kind of you all. NOT. And I have NO IDEA how people think this is nice and helpful to say, but whatever guys. And sorry, but this is not a fucking safe place anymore when men are telling me this without knowing ANYTHING about my relationship. This is just assaultive!

My partner went to the doctor that I paid for. And surprise... he had such low testosterone that it was very unhealthy. Got it fixed. And suddenly he had a normal sex drive. And oh, by the way, to some guys!!! HE DID NOT HAVE LL4U. He wanted to have sex with me again. And we had a good sex life. So no, it was not my fault like some men wanted to tell me.

Seriously, some men here are making it super uncomfortable for women to speak out. Especially when women get bombarded with sexual messages or comments like above. Mostly private! We all should be kind to each other and not assume or make nasty comments when they do NOT know anything about a relationship. Especially not when no one asks for their opinion.

There are very nice and kind people in this sub, and I thank them a lot. But it's not okay when people hurt other people with intention in this sub. I think we are very vulnerable here, and comments like this are simply not okay when opinions are not asked for. It hurt me deeply, and it's still stuck in my mind months later.

So please be careful what you say to some posters. This is shitty and hurtful and not necessary at all.

Thank you. And to all men and women who are kind and helpful. You all make this sub great!

Btw… I broke up with him because the dead bedroom broke the relationship, even when we had a normal sex life again. I should have left earlier on.

-Greetings from my throwacc ❤️

I've been in a dead bedroom, before I broke that bedroom apart. All along, I thought married men got the shortest stick but a quick scan of few posts surprised me with how many posts are from HLFs. I have all the empathy with everyone here but it did surprise me!

Edit: to add my progression, which looked like:

Started good with initiation from both sides & ample play --> (gradually to) Initiate - wait - initiate again - play sometimes if all stars align --> (again gradually over years) Initiate - get rejected - initiate - get rejected, keep getting rejected mostly with self help --> given up, no initiation, dead silence -- self help is your world!! --> To hell with it, ftw, I'm breaking this bedroom.

I (44 HLF) finally put my lingerie away. It made me feel sad and I was kind of moping around. He (48 LLM) asked me why I was upset so I told him. He said “yeah I saw that” and then braced himself for the conversation he knew was coming. The same excuses- he doesn’t feel good about himself, he doesn’t think about sex, his hygiene is bad, I should initiate more. I told him that I don’t initiate because it hurts to be rejected. If I was rejected while wearing lingerie it would be devastating to me and I already feel terrible about it.

I’m at the point of giving up on him about this. But I don’t want to live the rest of my life in celibacy. He’d be absolutely destroyed if I suggested an open marriage and I’m not leaving him. He’s my best friend, my life partner, and an overall wonderful person. I’m just at a loss for what to do. He won’t see a doctor. Our conversations go nowhere. And now that we’ve had this particular conversation, I’m not even sure if I’d be receptive to him if he DID initiate because I would feel like he’s trying to placate me.

Anyways, I don’t have anyone to talk to about this. I’m just sad today. Thanks for letting me vent a little bit.

Was listening to music and this made me sadly laugh

https://imgur.com/a/KlMtJAL

Just found out about this sub yesterday and really just need to get this off my chest.

I (35m) have been with my (34F)wife (off and on) since high school (2009-2011 & 2018- now). We have two beautiful children together and get along perfectly in every aspect of our relationship…all except one VERY important one (important to me at least).

The only times my wife has ever shown ANY interest in sex was when she wanted to get pregnant. Any other time I tried she’d always make some excuse and shut me down or worse we’d actually have sex and she would just lay there not participating at all. I’m not a selfish lover by any means and tried EVERYTHING to try and make her happy. Any conversation I initiated to better out r sex life was always immediately shut down by “there’s nothing wrong with our sex life I enjoy it”. It got to the point where I just felt guilty that I was making her do something she didn’t want to do. Between that and constantly getting shut down I have lost all my confidence. I was always a confident guy maybe even a little cocky but I was sure of myself and who I was. I have lost all that and can barely look myself in the mirror now.

I gave up on initiating anything because I couldn’t handle the rejection. To date we have had sex twice in the last 11 months. Both times were awful and guilt ridden. I love my wife and my family completely and have accepted that I just have to live like this.

Edit: forgot to mention and I’m sure it will be brought up. I have even started to think there might be a medical condition involved and all of my urging to go to the doctor to find out has always been shut down.

Just a vent. I love my LL wife, married 20 years, and we‘ve been working on our DB since a year with baby steps progress. Sex has always been a challenge throughout our marriage… PIV is uncomfortable for her and she is overall not very active in bed. Never gave me a BJ and never will, only vanilla missionary or a minute or two of HJ.

It‘s been a month or so since our last intimate moment. Earlier this week she wasn’t in the mood, she would not want me to touch her and she only briefly touched me. I wanted to masturbate, and she told me „Do you really have to ?“. I left it at that.

Wednesday we had friends over, I cooked and entertained my wife and our friends. We all had a great time. I had too much to drink. When they left, I felt really horny, so I started to seduce my wife and made moves to touch her intimately (probably quite pushy). She strongly told me stop. I felt very upset and threw what could best be described as a tantrum. I feel very ashamed for this, but I cannot undo it. I woke up the kids and everybody ended up very tired the next day. My wife (rightly so) is very angry with me and has threatened with divorce.

I just wanted to vent here… It can get very frustrating at times for the HL partner, but I know I have to find healthy ways to release my frustration. We haven‘t had PIV in a few years and the last time I could come inside her was when we had our youngest child (almost 15 years ago). This builds up frustration and resentment and I know it‘s a vicious cycle… nobody wants sex with a frustrated husband. I don‘t get drunk usually (just moderate drinker). I realize I should learn my lesson and not end up in this state anymore and keep my frustration under control through exercise and self-love. It‘s just really hard at times.

Thank you for reading my vent.

I miss Tinder

Me(47M) have been married to my wife (45F) for almost 16 years. We never lived with one another prior to marriage but our sex life was “Ok” but was clear she has the higher libido than me. After marriage & honeymoon my wife became pregnant straight away. I noticed that my wife was extremely lazy & reliant. She wouldn’t vacuum, dust, cook or clean. She didn’t work & would rely on me to fulfill all these things & hold down a full time job. After we had our son the laziness continued. I basically became a full time worker & would also have to take care of 90% of the house tasks. This really triggered me internally & would effectively take my low libido into non existent as I would always be tired, angry & feel zero Appreciation. To me sex became another task I had to keep up to avoid another argument- yet I would need to make sure I was making enough money for our growing family, take care of shopping, vacuuming, cleaning, kids. We fell pregnant again & had a daughter & I swear I would have done around 90% of nappies for both kids. I would complain every now & then & it would just end up in a huge fight. She blamed lack of sex for being this way & for me I just became a robot that intimacy was never on my mind. I mean it was on my mind but it became a methodical task to add to my list that would anger me as I was being pushed to my limits in all areas of my life with zero appreciation. My cries for help would end in fights so I became numb Fast forward 15 years, I have slept on the couch for the past 11 months. We have not been intimate in nearly 1 year. I still do all cooking, cleaning, kids stuff, shopping whilst holding down a FT job. My wife has a casual job working a few shifts per week (around 8 to 10 hours max in total) She definitely has disconnected also. So have I. I tried to initiate sex a few weeks back - however the response was “let’s not get into old habits” - I didn’t push the point. We have been going in circles like this for years. We spent a year apart after a big argument & I had no intention of going back but softened with my wife’s approaches & kids excitement. It’s so confusing where all this mess started. I definitely have feel resentment for years which has never felt listened to each time I gently explain my feelings. I have yearned for a wife that helps, is a partner in life & that resentment for the extreme lack of this has made me basically asexual. After big arguments I would always back down & say I’ll try better to be more intimate but it always came back to this resentment where I would be giving 95% & she was cruising life at 5%. Everything was still always my fault. It definitely feels we are now roomies where I have the couch upstairs. We are polite to one another (although she speaks to me in a tone like I have given her the worst life) We both love our kids but it feels in their primary carer as they always come to me for things. Our bedroom is dead, flatlined. I’m just exhausted, tired & lost. However I know she must also feel empty & now resent me for not giving her the sex life she dreamed. Can anyone make sense of this?

Me 42M and my GF 37F have been together 4.5 years and we live together.

She had a really serious injury in Easter but after that we had an amazing trip abroad in summer which went really great and everything was good, but since we got back she has been gradually sleeping more and more on the sofa. We dropped $2k on a new mattress a few months after the injury because she found the old one so uncomfortable.

She says that she just falls asleep on the sofa as it’s comfortable for her injury, but while on vacation she slept in bed the whole time and was absolutely fine.

I can’t help but wonder if she’s cheating or if something else is going on? I don’t really get affection from her anymore, and with the lack of sleeping near each other the bedroom has been a bit dead…

She seems kind of distant but she hasn’t been spending time away from the home or going out or anything. She also says nothing is wrong but I feel like she’s just a bit sad all the time. I also feel sad that I’m always going to sleep alone and I miss her. Bedroom not completely dead (1-2times per month) but I can see it going that way if she doesn’t even sleep in the same room.

Moved several states away with my girlfriend (24f, been together almost 3 years) a few months ago so she could attend grad school. We stopped having sex right before the move and she said it was just stress levels. Once we moved, we’ve basically stopped having sex altogether. We sleep in separate bedrooms every night and don’t cuddle - if we do then I usually get horny and initiate and she turns me down which leads to both of us feeling bad. I’ve stopped initiating completely and since I did, we haven’t had any sex.

She told me a couple weeks ago she thinks she might be asexual but she still thinks about having sex with people. She said she’s more turned on by novelty and by new people wanting her. When I asked if she feels unwanted by me, she said absolutely not - if anything I very obviously desire her more than anyone but the newness is what turns her on. She said it’s hard to feel sexually attracted to me because she knows I already want her. That sucked to hear. Since she said that, I’ve pulled away a lot more than I already had. I feel so unwanted and undesired but I’m glad she gets to feel those things.

I uprooted everything I’ve ever known for her. I left a good job to move for her education and I just got laid off from the job I landed here. If the circumstances were different, I would’ve broken up with her. We are so young. But rent is expensive, I’m far away from everything I’ve ever known, I dont have a support system or safety net, and now I’m unemployed. I really wish I had stayed put. I was so excited to be in a safer state and new city and everything but it all sucks and I feel trapped. I don’t even feel attracted to her anymore and I secretly hope she doesn’t want to have sex. I resent her so much and I dont really know what to do about it.

I am the HL partner and sometime wish there was a pill I could take to decrease my desire, but I’m not sure I’d want to give up all desire to enjoy sex and all the fun ways to cum.

I am going to try to share my experience without sounding selfish. Because I feel It may sound that way sometimes. Me and my wife have been together for almost 9 years. For the most part we have a good relationship. In the beginning, she was very sexually charged and it took me time to get there. But as we got older it has completely flipped. I'm more swxually charged than ever and she is at the lowest she's ever been.

She has been honest with me about this. So what end up happening is me trying to get her excited whenever I can because I usually have to do all the leg work to get her going. Good thing is, sometimes it does work but most of the time she stone walls me or the "dead fish" in bed. I feel like it's a chore for her and it's hurting me more and more. She is trying to please me, she gives me lazy hand jobs sometimes and really only has sex when I do a half an hour of foreplay for her. Otherwise, it's lazy handjob.

While she is still making efforts that I appreciate, I can tell she is just not interested in sex anymore. This has been going on for the past 4 years+. And she keeps telling me to have patience while she tries to get her sexuality back but the effort is just not there and I don't know what to do. I love her immensely but intimacy is huge for me. And I just feel like we are not compatible anymore because I really want someone who wants me just as much sexually also.

P.s. (I'm not an ugly man either lol I have a good amount of confidence in my sexuality. But I just want her to share my enthusiasm for it.)

Happy weekend to all you fabulous peeps…

Hopefully you’re waking up to some tasty coffee, maybe a delicious donut (with sprinkles even), the smell of some scrumptious sizzlin bacon or maybe the sweet sweet chomp of some Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

While I would have rather been waking up to a lil under the sheets, sideways spooning action, sadly, again, not in the cards for this gent!

Anywho, just doing a lil bit of a dead bedroom pulse check to see what some of you lovely people have going on this weekend, aside from what many of us would like to be goin on…

For me, there’s a variety of activities underway and planned!

• knockout a lil morning workout (complete and arms feel like jello)…

• sip some very tasty coffee (in progress with delish coconut creamer)

• prepare for in aisle battles at Costco and Target

• enjoy a Saturday fiesta of sorts later when I whip up some tacos and margaritas!

• more than likely sip some “spiked” hot coco later this evening and find a lil flick to watch…

What about you???

Ciao for now….