Me, HLM age 59. Her: LLF age 56. We used to have a sex life, but it's been gone for years. And I don't know what to do, or even if there's anything to do.

She says that she's still attracted to me; but her libido is near zero post-menopause. Plus a number of physical limitations/discomforts that are common post-menopause that make PIV sex really uncomfortable for her. It's been 5-6 years since the last time for that; and my attempts at other acts that we used to do, such as me going down on her, have been vetoed as well.

I am pretty miserable about the whole situation, and have been for years. But only in the last six months or so have I been able to understand how big a deal this is for me. I don't know that I buy into the whole "Love Language" paradigm; but if there is anything to it, mine is most definitely touch. Physical affection (it doesn't even have to go as far as sex to qualify) is how I feel loved; it is how I feel intimacy. Just holding me says more to me than 100 spoken "I love you"s. I have had very little physical affection all the way back to earliest childhood: my mom wanted nothing to do with me and in fact tried to kill me when I was 4, I had no love life worth mentioning before my wife and I met in my mid-30s, and I long to be touched all the time just so I can feel loved, and therefore lovable. I daydream about it constantly. And without physical affection in our marriage, I feel like we are just housemates rather than intimately connected, and it kills me. It kills me. I feel lonely as hell, and I'm up absurdly late crying more nights than I'm not.

And yet I feel like I'm a complete asshole for feeling bad, since her disinterest has physical causes. I feel like a jerk because it's not her fault and she feels bad about it. Ending our marriage wouldn't even occur to me -- I can't even imagine it, because I love her dearly. Going outside our relationship for sex isn't possible because I wouldn't hurt her like that, and honestly it wouldn't help anyway because it's really intimacy I want, not sex specifically. Sex is just the strongest way I feel it. What I want is to have our intimacy back. Which doesn't seem possible.

Every single time I go to sleep, I wish that I wouldn't wake up, because I don't want to live feeling so lonely. I don't want to have lost our intimacy. I wish I was dead a lot of the time. That or misery seem the only two options.

I usually don't do this kind of thing on social media but here it goes. Im going to pour my heart out on here since I'm so very desperate and becoming depressed.

I'm a 61 y/I man who has been married for almost 41 yrs. My wife is 5.5 yrs older than me so I married her when I was only 20. Then and many, many yrs beyond we were madly in love with each other and had pretty good passion, affection, intimacy, and great romance. But over the last approx 6-8 yrs, not so much.

To put it this way and to be blunt our sex life has gone stale and has been reduced to maybe once a week, if that and zero romance.

Even though I'm 61 I am by no means the typical stereotype, I hit the gym 4x a week plus I'm on testosterone replacement therapy(makes me feel "spunky"). I feel like I'm in my 20's again and feel great. Her response seems to be to "act my age". Plus I've had FIVE major spine surgeries which limit the positions I can do and she outright refuses to accommodate me other than missionary. I do apologize for being so graphic.

It has even gone as far as her becoming literally mean over the subject when I've tried to sit down and have a discussion with her. She'll goes as far as using sex and loneliness as weapons against me when I try to discuss this with her and it turns into an all out argument. Plus all the rejection and emasculation she has done to me. Believe me I could go on and on.

Any and all advice I thank you in advance.

My (24F) fiance (28M) is a really sweet man. He is a teacher, constantly doing things for his students. We've had conversation where he has outright said he would do more for the same pay if he knew it would make a difference in someones life. He coaches several teams and hosts 2 seperate clubs. He's also training for a martial art milestone, doingteam sports, and he referees a local ball hockey league. I by contrast am more someone who enjoys their free time and i really dont like being obligated to pack in my time. I game, i volunteer a couple times a week here and there, and i work shift work as a nurse 4 on 5 off. The rrst i knid of leave up to opportunity.

When we first started dating almost 7yrs ago, we didnt have the healthiest sex life. I was doing a lot of chasing, he was very busy studying, I wasnt always honest about whether i was enjoying what we were doing. Atleast then fridays were our day, date night and we would have sex. We've worked through a lot, we made a point of not watching porn, we're trying to set date nights because for a few months we just have not done anything together meaningfuly. We have (or i should say had) started doing aftercare talks after sex when we would get around to actually doing it.

We go through these shitty periods of time where theres just nothing. Either its report card season, or our schedules are lining up poorly, or he's buisy with something else, or more often than id like to admit im anxious/fed up and scared to initiate anything so i leave the space to see if he will. The vast majority of the time, i have gone after him, i have made plans for us, ive never liked that this was our dynamic and we've had so many conversations about it. When we try to have sex after a dry spell it usually doesnt go well, which is a large part of why im anxious, it really throws me off. We're both a little out of shape but he's just clumsy with he interacts sexually and its hard to wait and want and be left unsatisfied. He also struggles to finish and often needs to do it himself if he isnt gone soft because (he says) he's tired. I try to be supportive regardless, i know its not in his control and we have tried to make it a part of how we interact duting sex, make it a part of the routine so he doesnt feel like its a burden. I dont want it to be one.

Currently, he's overloaded his calendar right after a report card season so we havent done anything for like a month and a half. He has had something every night this week. And just about every night this week ive confronted him about it. He knows this is making me feel unwanted, that its salt in the wound he insists he is attracted and wants to have sex but keeps on with the same routine. We've talked about self confidence issues he may be having. Ive asked him several times to go to therapy either with me or for himself, but he just puts it off.

We're supposed to get married in the summer. I asked him. He has taken a more active role in his end of preperations. I just figured when we moved in together, things would maybe get easier because we would be more accessible to eachother but its like the opposite. In the last 2 yrs, we're lucky if we get to be intimate twice a month and i have seriously considered just not signing the marriage license.

Is there someone who has been on the opposite end of something like this? Anyone in the group with an idea of what would make this click for him? Or me?

My body jolts when my wife touches me. It's a result of years of a dead bedroom in which I can't really see her in a sexual manner any more. She decided that she didn't like or want any sexual contact at all, and now I can tell she's upset that I am more on edge, unhappy, short with her, and I can tell that she notices my little "jolts." I'm not entirely sure why this psychological response of mine happens, but I know for sure it's the result of a DB, just not sure why exactly it manifests like that - in a way I have zero control over. Obviously I still love her (albeit I can never give her 100% of myself) so I'm concerned about how this makes her feel.

It happened the other day in front of my MIL and it was embarrassing. But I literally 100% cannot stop or prevent it from happening, it's basically an instant reaction my body does. I suspect my MIL is aware of the problem and treats me sort of compassionately knowing that this is probably a recurring problem.

My guess is that problem is that I'm used to being seen in a sexual manner by my exes and so her behavior is actually sort of "creepy" to me.

Backstory: I (21 HLF) have been dating my partner (22 LLM) for 2 years. He was my first everything, kiss, sexual partner, you name it. He had only had sex maybe 3 other times with one other person so we were both really new to sex when our relationship began. Obviously we fucked like bunnies, at least twice a day every day for the first 8 months. Last winter he worked a really busy schedule and we fell into a rut sexually. We had sex once a week max, but usually it was about 3-4 weeks. This lasted until last summer when he quit that job and it picked back up to almost daily sex (normal for us). During that period, it was hard on me because I would try to initiate sex and he would basically just ignore me, try to change the subject, or roll over and go to sleep. After it picked up again, I didn’t feel quite so guilty or shameful initiating. Over the past 6 months, our sex has dwindled quickly and we have it once a month maybe. He started another high stress job around the same time, so I absolutely understand that his work situation is probably what’s causing his low libido. Last time we had sex, we both broke down and said how we wished we had more sex. I mentioned that I stopped initiating anymore because it hurts to be rejected so much, and that’s why we don’t have sex anymore. If I don’t initiate it, it won’t happen. He asked me to keep trying and that he would “work on it,” but it is really hard for me to continue exposing myself to the hurt of being rejected sexually. Since we had that talk about a month ago, I’ve tried 3 separate times with no luck. There is always some excuse and he always says “I want to but….” I find myself pulling away when he tries to be affectionate like kissing me passionately or anything like that because I don’t want to feel the hurt when it doesn’t go anywhere.

Im just so tired of being rejected and it really hurts. My self esteem is low and the love of my life doesn’t even want to have sex with me anymore. Just looking for tips from others as to how you might navigate this.

Does anyone else have a partner who has never initiated? Never expressed desire or want? I don't even mean infrequently, I mean literally never.

Together 22 years, married the last 12, had a kid for the last 9. For the first 14 years, we fucked like rabbits. Horny disgusting rabbits. My wife cums like a boy: 30 seconds on top and she's done. Then I take over for the squirty multiples. Like I said, epic. Then 4 years into the marriage, her mom had a massive stroke and our kid was diagnosed with autism. Since then, its been nursing homes, adult diapers, Medicare paperwork, IEP meetings, child psychologists/psychiatrists, fights with the school district, setting up IHSS now that grandma moved in with us, and my wife's dysfunctional job full of idiots. She's been LL Bean the last couple years. I have explained how important coitus is to me, to no avail. I come silly, I come correct, nothing works. All she wants to do is eat popcorn and watch Masterpiece murder mystery shows. I pull my weight around the house and with childcare, but she bears the brunt of it. This week I decided no more begging or pleading, I am just going to stop asking for it. I declared for myself what she has been signaling: the kinky part of our marriage is over. Now I'm not stupid, I knew the epic boinking sessions would slow down at some point. But I always thought it would be deep into our 50s. I am 41 and she's 44. She leans into the perimenopause excuse pretty hard. So now that I have taken our sex life off life support, I find myself preoccupied with it. I feel like a good friend has died. The sense of loss is overwhelming. Making my wife cum out her eyeballs was probably the thing I was best at in life, and the thing that brought me the most joy. And I'm not looking to get divorced and start over again. To be perfectly honest, I doubt I could land someone as good looking as my wife. I also have zero respect for clown-ass pretend weekend custody dads, who drop the kid off at mom's house on Sunday night, and still hit the bars in time for last call. Fuck those guys, I'll never be one of those sticker-on-the-baseball-cap losers.

So how do I move on? How do I accept the fact that my wife and I are now just hugging roommates?

How do I get past this?

So the rules are but not limited to: -no one can be in the house but us -no pressure just because the house is empty

We have a 30 year old daughter with her 2 girls that moved home in January. That in itself is no problem, other than the 2 rules listed. So they were out of the house for what was confirmed to be 8+ hours. When I approached my wife she freaked out telling me that she can’t be pressured to have sex just because the house is empty. Huh?

Here’s me scratching my head now trying to figure out if and when we’ll ever do it again. Fwiw my wife and I are 63, married 38 years. She’s very attractive and believe it or not, when we get busy, she enjoys it and gets to the goal line. lol… on the other hand we’ve had multiple calendar years with zero copulation. I think we’re headed back to the doldrums again. We were out of town a couple of weeks ago, stayed in a hotel. I got up early to fetch us bad hotel coffee, while she was still asleep and when I got back she was dressed and ready to go home.

I’m looking for a white flag that I can wave in surrender. I’m so done.

I know i said yesterday that I want to be single but my partner is really supportive and does bring positivity into my life in other ways...

I was thinking of giving him 3 options

1. He picks up his game and we actually be intimate from time to time (not just getting his rocks off but making sure I do too)
2. We open the relationship so I can find someone who is willing to meet my needs. He would be free to do this too if he wanted. But he would be my primary partner.
3. We just break up and be done with it..

Has anyone else tried this?

Before she used to have a super high sex drive. We used to do it everyday but it slowly declined to once a week, then once every week and a half, two weeks and now its at once a month and sometimes month and a half. I have a very high libido and already communicated with her more than once. The first time i said i feel we dont have enough sex and that she doesn’t initiate enough. The second time I made it clear and said that it almost feels like we’re roomates and I would like to have more sex. For the first week she initiated twice and now its almost been a month. Wondering what to do?

First things first, while the account is new, I've been reading Reddit and this sub for awhile now. I just never created an account to respond. Felt it was time to change that.

Second of all, my dead bedroom was during my first marriage and was almost 30 years ago.

So my story: My ex and I dated in high school and got married in our early 20's. With the exception of a short break up of about 6 months, we were together for about 16 years. We took each others' virginity and during those 16 years neither of us had sex with anyone else. It was close a couple of times, but we never crossed that line.

In the beginning, sex was exciting. We learned together and seemed to really be on the same page. Now I'll readily admit I was a bit more knowledgeable about sex. Not in practice, but I read a LOT and wanted to explore as much as we could together. She was willing to a point, but nothing wild. I was fine with that. For the most part it was just vanilla sex, with the occasional spanking here and there. (She did get off on it, even though it embarrassed her.)

From high school through college, we rarely went more than 2 days without having sex together, even though we hadn't move in together yet. Once I graduated (she was a year behind me), I had my own place and she eventually move in with me. Definitely caused issues with her family. A lot of "sex shaming".

A year after moving in together, we got married. By then, of course, the sex had slowed down, but at least 3 times a week was the norm. Both of us were working, even though the jobs weren't exactly stressful. Having children was always discussed, but neither of us were really ready. However, how does the saying go? Man plans, God laughs. She ended up getting pregnant. Unfortunately she miscarried though. And this is where things went south.

She battled depression from the miscarriage, as did I. We both went to counseling and it did help. At least for me it did. The one thing that definitely changed was that there was absolutely no sex after the miscarriage. I understood, but it was frustrating. I was being supportive of my wife and what she endured. I was sure it was just her needing to heal.

For the next 5 years it was constant excuses though. We went from snuggling on the couch watching TV, to her on one side and me on the other. In bed, she was as far over as she could get without falling off. If I tried to kiss her or hug her or even touch her, I was rebuffed. She was offering absolute NO affection of any kind. She actually looked at me with disgust if I even mentioned holding hands. Even with that, I truly felt that, if given time, things would change and the romance would return. Such bullshit.

The straw that broke the camel's back was when her brother and I were in a car accident and we were in the hospital for a couple of days, she never visited me. She visited her brother, but not me. The only visitors I had were my mother and my sister-in-law. I had been with my wife since I was 15 and I then realized I apparently wasn't important to her in any way any more. Any love I had for was gone then and I cried. First night back home, I moved into the guest room. She didn't say a word. It took me about 2 months to formally move out of the house and into an apartment. Prior to moving out I filed for divorce for “irreconcilable differences”. To get a no fault divorce in Illinois, you had to be legally separated for 6 months. Of course she fought it because she thought things were ok and figured I'd move back.

In the end it took 7 months, but I was finally free. But what really sucked is when it was all said and done, she came up to me and gave me a huge hug. The first time in years that she willingly touched me. She then walked away saying she still didn't understand why.

Eventually I found love again when I met my current wife. The best 28 years of my life.

I've decided to leave. Making plans logistically but hoping to have ended things within the next couple of months. I am so relieved to have made this decision, but I'm also incredibly anxious about what the future holds.

My husband (32M) and I (26F) have been together since I was 18. I know that it will be expected, even by my close friends who know about the dead bedroom, that I wait a while before putting myself out there again, even casually. After such a long relationship I should need a long time to heal and be ready, right?

But I'm already imagining what it could be like with someone else, especially sexually. I do plan on getting into therapy again and taking care of myself, but I also want to be wanted by someone.

I feel like everyone in my life will warn me not to rush into anything, and this sub is the only place where people understand that in a lot of ways I've already been single for a long time.

33 (HLM) here and my wife (37FLL) have sex maybe once a month. It’s often missionary and lasts for 5 minutes because it’s so infrequent. It usually only happens when I’m persistent in asking and I catch her in a decent place.

I’m just wondering when you switch to stop asking/trying. I still really want to have sex but hate being the one to initiate all the time but also if I don’t then we’ll never have sex. I think I know the answer is when I stop caring about having sex but at a certain point masturbating just isn’t the same.

Thanks ahead of time for the advice!

I am so tired of being turned down by my spouse. I’ve tried everything. Therapy, anything they say to possibly make them turned on, begging, backing off, crying, ignoring, distracting, MB to the point of pain or tears, withholding anything sexual from myself including porn, toys, or self!!!! Nothing works. So now I’m down a rabbit hole of guessing that I’m either being cheated on, they are gay, getting it somewhere else, or just not into me despite all my efforts! Hair done, makeup done, fresh breath, nice skin, clean, sexual, beautiful lingerie and stylish clothing. Like nothing I can think of that any other person wouldn’t want. But now I’ve searched for hours and hours and days and days I’m talking no sleep. What do I do?? I am so sexual. I want so much more. It means so much to me. I don’t want to be a cheater but am I being played for a fool??? Help me please! ❤️

As time goes on the sexual frustration builds up to the point where i need to seek out coping solutions to get quick gratification.

I've noticed lately it's been food. Never used to eat much, I'd go on to borderline starve myself at times but now I've just been eating a lot of comfort foods to distract myself and to make my brain feel good like sex does

And it's added to some gain, about 30ish lbs last time i checked.. 129 lbs is the highest I've ever been and i didnt put much thought to my change in behavior until now

So i started working out to curb my sudden weight gain

It's still a struggle though!! I crave and crave to be touched physically (and i dont even mean sex but sex also is an issue!!) and when masturbating loses effect i order out a lot.

I don't care about working out its just seeking a positive means to distract myself from the lack of sex

Its so frustrating

Eating was comforting but it definitely wont make me any more attractive in my partners eyes, but man will i miss using food to cope

I'm trying to get back into my passions to try to distract myself but that doesn't stimulate my brain as much as food

Lately I've been thinking of trying ashwagandha because maybe i will just not care about sex? If i do? Haven't looked into it

Rambling venting

Unfortunate cycle

Being able to walk away from potential lovers increases sexual attraction. Being able to walk away communicates that you highly value yourself, what you have to offer and that you won’t tolerate being mistreated or taken for granted. Walking away causes the person whom you walked away from to pursue you, like you more, and make more of an effort to keep you in their life. However, if they don’t really care about you, they will let you go. It’s healthy in any relationship to set and maintain your boundaries of how you want to be treated. Otherwise, you open yourself up to becoming someone else’s doormat. People will treat you exactly how you allow them to treat you. No one will ever do or say anything to you that you don’t invite them to do.

Correction: title should be “Has anyone had success with therapy”. Sorry about that!

Hi! New here. Been lurking for a while and finally posted.

For those of you that tried therapy or counseling, I’m curious how you broached the topic with your spouse. Did you do individual therapy first then couples? Please share your experiences.

I’m a HLF and want my husband to go to therapy to see if it will help us. Haven’t been intimate in months and I’m climbing the walls.

My(23f) bf(25) kept masturbating and he hid it from me for years saying he was tired, and he told me a year ago. He has thrown me off of him when i tried to sit on his face once(a year ago also)… and that was my breaking point, i just went to the living room and bawled myself to sleep, and now i cant STAND his touch and any kind of him wanting to do it and dont even have the drive, he killed it, even thinking about it is gross and is giving me nausea. Cause ofc when you cant have something suddenly you want it(when i stopped wanting it he started to want it). This is a VERY long story short. I just feel depressed all the time and feel like something is just missing from me. I’m just sad, man

My (39m) husband has ZERO interest in sex. I’m (32f) a highly sexual person. For context, my daughter is 20 months old and we haven’t had sex since she was conceived. I knew he wasn’t super sexual from the beginning, which was fine because I do love him a lot. But I never imagine I would be completely deprived. I’ve told him over and over, I ask him if we can try. And I don’t keep quiet about my wants/needs. It’s an incredibly frustrating situation because I would not have married him if I knew this would happen. And now we have a child, and I don’t want to just leave him. I don’t even get hugs/kisses. We held hands in bed last night and that was the most I’ve gotten in a year at least. There’s just no affection. He refuses therapy and a Dr visit to test lebido. What else can I do? I very openly communicate my wants and needs. Is there any hope of some kind of change after this long?

We both come home after a long day at work, and there's nothing I'd like better than to work out our stress together...but he wants nothing to do with me.

(For Reference: We haven’t had sex since January. And before then was once in November and then in June/July)

Hey guys, I need advice/opinions about my current relationship so apologises in advance for the long post if you do read this! Apologises for the long read, I’ll keep it as short and simple as I can…

For context, I (25F) have been with my boyfriend (28M) for 1.5 years now. (We were friends & interested in each other/occasionally messing around for another 1.5 years before getting together) so 2-3 years total so far. We’ve also been living with each other for a year now.

So Ever since last summer, (when we became ‘OFFICIAL OFFICIAL’,) our sex life has severely declined/become somewhat non-existent. (Despite him still being severely affectionate etc) From July til now, we’ve probably had sex 5-7 times max. I brought it up in end of October after having went through his phone for the first time because I was anxious and wanted reassurance i wasn’t getting cheated on or something etc. I soon realised that he was consistently watching porn and whilst I have no issue with people watching porn or maturating ( ONLY IN THE HEALTHY SENSE) I was really heartbroken as I felt so rejected. I confessed and brought this up to him and expressed my frustration and how it made me feel and asked for an explanation and his answer was that he didn’t know why and guessed it was because he felt lazy. Although this didn’t make any sense I accepted it and moved on and everything else carried on as normal.

However, Ever since I brought that up (November/December) we’ve had sex 2, maybe 3, times. So since January when we last shagged, I’ve gradually noticed a decline in my mental well-being, becoming more and depressed over time. It’s greatly impacted my self esteem as I’ve been going to great lengths to change my appearance since too. I don’t think this is healthy nor does he.

Last week I brought it up again since it was eating me up inside. It all started because I asked him “how many times have you masturbated since New Years?” His answer was between 12-20 times. I was honestly shocked and extremely hurt because the entire time I was just comforting myself with the excuse that he had a low libido however that obviously can’t be true. Despite being extremely calm, I expressed my hurt feelings and how his actions have made me feel undesired which adds to the paranoia that he isn’t attracted to me. His whole face and behaviour shifted when I brought it up and when I demanded an answer, all he could say was “I don’t know why, but I have thought about it at times” “I really do love you and I don’t want to break up” i asked him if hes unhappy or if anything needed improving but he kept insisting that he was extremely happy with how things are and he doesn’t see anything wrong with the relationship. I was fed up and I said I couldn’t accept a “I don’t know” as an answer and told him that the entire thing seems extremely selfish of him because my needs were not being met despite bringing this up many months ago because he already knew how I felt in detail. Bare in mind the entire time til now I was giving him physical signs of wanting to have sex and yet it never got anywhere even if he got hard….. Anyways, He spent the remainder of the night and entire next day quiet in bed. This extremely annoyed me because I went about acting normal despite being very upset and angry yet he was being avoidant however when I tried to talk to him, he got upset to the point where it looked like he was genuinely about to cry! He kept expressing the entire day how bad he felt and apologised and said he thinks he was being selfish and extremely lazy about the whole thing. I accepted this but it still sucks to know my boyfriend would rather wank himself off than have sex with me. Like damn we even live and sleep together every day! I told him this isn’t normal!

Despite the lack of sex, I’ve felt conflicted because regardless of everything, he’s always been extremely affectionate! He always has and still does show me more physical affection than I do such as spontaneous kisses during the day and when I wake up, cooks me food, always compliments me and hypes me up, does favours for me without asking, plans and consistently takes me out on dates, gives me hugs, makes future plans etc etc. The only issue is lack of sex! So before anyone says “he’s probably not into you” it makes 0 sense to say that nor am I being delusional. That’s why I always convinced myself it was a lack of libido but why would anyone who shows their partner love every single day in soooo many ways and is adamant he doesn’t want to break up YET would rather wank than have sex? It makes no sense! Why wouldn’t you want the real thing?!

Does he have a low sex drive? Is it a porn addiction? Is it a dependency or addiction to masturbation as he’s only been in one 5 year long distance relationship that ended more than 6 years ago? Is it because I’m extremely insecure with my body? Do I have to make more of an effort to initiate sex even though I have done many times (non verbally though) Or is he just PHYSICALLY not attracted to me? I have no idea. All I know is that it can’t be because he doesn’t love me because he’s always said and shown me that since day 1 even til now.

I have BPD and poor self esteem and although I’m treated and doing extremely well for myself, it’s extremely triggering and hard for me to not react. It’s now gotten to the point where the thought of having sex makes me so anxious and super self conscious about my body 😞 Again, apologises for the long read! I tried to keep it as short as possible. Any comments, opinions or advice is appreciated! Xxx

~Sincerely, a sexually frustrated girl🥲

So, I marriaged in 2023rd December. Since then I had sex just 8 times, and, all the times we had sex I perceived lack of desire of her.

This is became me addicted to masturbation and I m so frustrated, because my libido is high and seem I m wasting time of my life without sex.

One more time I brought this topic to the table and she replied: I didn't leave my house's father for wash clothes and make dinner, with you feel I m cold, you would recognize this since the beginning.

I m sad and I feel which never gonna change ever.

I could give up of this marriage or cheat her, but I want fix it.

Hi everyone, After advice and how people deal with this situation. Been in a relationship for over 8 years. Sex was great and we get along really well. Unfortunately something changed in the bedroom and we haven't had sex for over 4 years now. Partner doesn't even like talking about it and basically said it's not me but she doesn't feel like sex at all anymore. She says if I want sex I can sleep with other girls or leave because she can't give it to me. I don't want to leave or sleep with someone else so how do I deal with it? It obviously effects me and makes me make synd remarks which doesn't make things better. What would you do or any advice from similar situation? I don't want to sleep with others as I feel it would ruin our relationship ship but I need sex lol

I'm going crazy, feel so insecure and shite. He lookd at women and porn online with pure lust and gaze. When I come onto him my hand is moved. When he comes onto me it's in joking form. He's experimented and done mad stuff with partners in the past. With me when we were having sex, it was just sex then deed is done. I'm tired.

There is a lot of love in the relationship do not get me wrong. We are best friends. We are just not sexually compatible. It sucks

Hey everyone,

I've been pondering about adding some excitement to the bedroom by considering the idea of getting some sex toys. It's a new territory for me, and I must admit, I'm feeling a tad overwhelmed with the sheer variety out there.

Could anyone here share their experiences with integrating toys into their sex lives? Any suggestions on where to start or what to look for? Also, do you know of any online stores that you trust for purchasing toys that are both high-quality and reasonably priced? It's crucial to me that they ship discreetly.

I've heard positive things about Adam & Eve – has anyone here shopped there before? Also, what's your take on those coupon codes, like the one I received in my email, MEE50, which claim to offer discounts and discreet shipping – do they actually deliver?

I'd truly appreciate any guidance or insights you could offer. Thanks!

Hi Everyone, at a conference this week and was looking forward to some sexy hotel time alone (sad I know, but here we are). So after a hard days work, little wine, turn down the lights. Start browsing my favorite sites for, you know what….then when done I realized that my personal phone was still connected to my work phone hot spot while watching the porn. Used about 1 Gig of work data. How fired am I?

My wife and I had a baby recently a beautiful little girl. Not sure if you'd call our bedroom dead but it's deep in a coma and on life support with the plug pulled half way out of the wall (sex twice in the last 12 months prior to the baby's birth.) We had the baby via IVF so sex wasn't even a part of that. Now my wife has the balls (ovaries?) to look me dead in the eye and say I'm supposedly extra fertile now that I've had a baby, maybe we can have another one naturally. I wanted to vomit. All the months and years of being shamed and told I'm a pervert and creep for simply wanting her but now I can turn it on so we can hAvE aNoThEr bAbY. I'm a fucking sperm donor.

Tomorrow we are starting our 3rd round of couple therapy, my hopes aren't high because she (LLF 44) is not super keen and she does it just because I begged. We just celebrated our sad 1 year anniversary since last time we were intimate, I stopped instigating after 12 years of rejection... The problem, I think, it made things worse, I became so resentful I can barely speak to her any more , I am so angry she did not prioritise our relationship, I snap all the time and I have no patience left, I don't know how to get out of this mood to break this negativity. I am thinking about cheating, although I cannot be bothered to start... So more of a fantasy at this point.

We have 3 energetic kids but I (HLM 41) am very hands on with them, always here for bed time, never travel for business on the weekend, never miss school stuff, do homework with them, take them to sports , okay dates , I am a great cook, I'm really one of those dad who really care.... I also work and provide for all of them ... I earn really good money, I feel I did meet my side of the deal as a father , a companion and a provider .... Was it so wrong of me to want more , to have a couple life, wanting to go on date with her, wishing to take her on a weekend anywhere in the world without the kids, hoping to have diner just the two of us, being loved....

So tomorrow, we try again, new method, therapist with a good reputation.... But I'm not sure I can take it much longer... Not sure if we have not reached the end of the journey as a couple. I just wish we could continue as a family, become friend again.

Why is it so hard to be happy... When you have everything.

HL F23 here, my boyfriend M26, states he wants to have sex with me but doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, he says he doesn’t have the desire, it’s been 6 months. He said he’s attracted to me and touches my butt and bobs while we’re cuddling and we share pecks of kisses. He does get hard when I touch him for a bit but if I try to go further he says “not right now” or “if you want” which makes me not want to because I feel like it’s forced and he wouldn’t enjoy it. I don’t understand because honestly, at first I thought he was only looking for sex when we first started talking, and now it’s like I cursed myself for thinking that. I’m in love with him, what can be causing him to feel this way? It’s not the end of the world and hell I don’t care if we never do it again, as long as he still deems me attractive and is in love with me too (he says he is), but without this intimacy it’s hard to believe that there’s nothing wrong with me (it’s a bit traumatic because my last relationship went 2 years without sex which he is aware of and claims it’ll never be like that, he says we’ll do it again eventually, he just doesn’t know what his own issue is) claims he doesn’t masturbate as he says he doesn’t think of it. What could be causing this? Is he possibly just not into me.

I (23F) have been with my boyfriend (23M) for a little over six months. I've always had a low libido and due to past traumas and being single for five years before this relationship, I felt no reason to address it.

Now I'm in a relationship and he never once makes me feel like I need to rush things or force things. He keeps saying he's perfectly content with waiting until I'm ready. The thing is, I am ready. I'm very attracted to him and there's nothing I want more than to be intimate with him, but my body refuses to respond at all. Even during foreplay. I'm so ashamed that I can't have intimacy with my boyfriend and want to share that experience with him. We've only made one attempt because of how low my libido is and it wasn't exactly successful, mainly due to condom issues. Nothing on either of our parts.

My doctor says that things like the Olly Libido gummies aren't FDA approved and she wouldn't recommend them. She said regular exercise would help and we are planning to start going to a gym together, but there's no telling how long it will take for that to work. I'm also incredibly scared of using over the counter products due to the type of medication I'm on and my history of problems in terms of period regulation and the like.

Please, can anyone give me advice on something I can do to speed along the process? I don't want to wait forever just to have intimacy. We both live with our respective parents due to financial struggles, if that helps at all.